Fan Fiction / Zoids Fan Fiction ❯ Unforgettable ❯ Fiona's pain ( Chapter 16 )

Van's eyes opened up when he suddenly heard a sniffing sound coming from the last person her ever wanted to hear cry. He looked towards Fiona and saw her form shake slightly as she sniffed. “Fiona?” he asked placing a hand upon her shoulder but he felt her tense up underneath his touch.

 

Van grabbed Fiona's shoulders and turned her around. Her eyes were red as she stared at him. She leaned into Van's chest and cried into it as Van wrapped his arm around her. He rubbed her back trying to help sooth her. “What's wrong Fiona? Have I done anything to make these come?” Van asked wiping away a tear that fell down her face.

 

Fiona pulled away from Van's chest and stared up into the dark eyes that she fell in love with. “Am I really what my mother said about me?” Fiona asked trying to stop the tears that continued to fall.

 

Van sighed figuring that it had to do with that woman. “Of course not Fiona! She says stuff like that just to get under your skin and do what she wants. Why would you possibly think something like that?” Van asked never letting go of his hold on her.

 

“My dad always had high hopes for me. Can't help but think that maybe I'm letting him down by doing what we have been doing. Like I'm exactly as my mother has said,” Fiona said feeling the tears start to come back up. She felt so good being with Van last night but that came to her mind afterwards and made her start to think.

 

Van looked at Fiona disappointed. “Fiona can I ask you a question?” Van asked and he just saw Fiona nod her head before he continued. “What is it that your father has always wanted for you?” Van asked placing his hands on her shoulders trying to get her to look straight at him since she was trying to look away.

 

“He once said that his soul purpose in life was to see me happy. Yet he always told me of all the ways that I could be happy and this is going against all that he told me,” Fiona said looking away but she felt Van grab her chin and force her to look him in the eyes.

 

“Don't think like that Fiona. Do I make you happy?” he asked and she just nodded her head again. “Don't you think that maybe he would be happy for you if you were happy with me?” he asked and she finally looked at him and nodded her head. “Then what is the problem?” he asked her with a lot of kindness in his voice.

 

“He would be happy that I'm happy but I feel that he would be disappointed if he knew I was having sex before marriage. He always told me that I would be happiest with the person who is willing to wait that long for it,” she said sadly once again looking away.

 

“I think he would have wanted you to try and do things for yourself Fiona. He gave you his ideals but he would have also wanted you to live your life the way that makes you happiest. Do you regret all that we have done?” Van asked with his own sadness in his voice.

 

“No… not really. I just feel like I'm letting him down. Do you think any less of me since I couldn't keep to what I have tried to stick to all of my life?” Fiona asked looking at him and leaning her forehead against his chest.

 

“Of course not Fiona. Your father put you in the right direction but I think that he would want you to find your own path to walk. Now please stop crying,” he said holding her tightly to him. He was afraid to let her go for fear that she would leave him in her regret.

 

“I'm sorry. I guess I'm just being silly. You are probably right to,” she said looking up at him and immediately his lips crashed against her in a very passionate kiss. He broke away from her and she just stared at him with love filled eyes. “Lets go back to sleep,” she muttered with a small smile.

 

“Yeah. First we might want to get dressed. Knowing my mom she will come bursting in here in…” he said looking at the clock and seeing that it was five in the morning. “Two maybe three hours and we don't want her catching us in a strange position,” he said making Fiona giggle as he got up and just put on a pair of boxers.

 

Fiona did the same but just grabbed her underwear and a rather large t-shirt and throwing them on before crawling back into bed with Van. “I'm so tired,” she said rest her head against his chest and allowing his heartbeat to lull her back into a blissful sleep.

 

The two of them slept peacefully and happily after that until the door to the room suddenly burst open and Van's mother came walking in with happy smile but she was saddened to see that the two of them still had clothes on. `Still nothing?' she asked herself slightly depressed.

 

“Mom! Can't you knock?” Van asked quickly grabbing his shirt off the ground and throwing it over his head. “Plus we don't appreciate being woken up so early also,” he grumbled although he knew that he should have expected this much from his mother from the countless times she has done it to the two of them before.

 

Fiona just groaned and ignored it all while burying her head into the pillow. Except for after her talk with Van, she wasn't able to sleep as much as she wanted to. “Can you please keep it down? I'm still tired,” Fiona grumbled to the two of them.

 

Karin just blinked at the young woman. “Oh… sorry. I'll just leave you alone for now,” she said walking out of the door leaving Van and Fiona alone in the room again. `I will just check up later,' she thought thinking of any future grandchildren. She walked away with a bright smile on her face.

 

Van groaned and fell back onto the bed with Fiona. His shirt was off again and he wrapped his arms around Fiona. The previous day had been a long day and he knew they needed a little more sleep. They were on vacation after all.

 

*****

 

Crougar walked into Irvine's office because he needed to have a word with him but was surprised to find the young man asleep on the sofa that was sitting off to the side. He walked up and shook the young man. “Wake up!” he said not liking Irvine sleeping on the job.

 

Irvine jumped up slightly and rubbed his eyes. “What do you want old man. I haven't had a very good night and I need to get some sleep. Especially since everything has suddenly been dumped on me. I hope all this media dies down soon. I can't deal with both Van's and mine own work for much longer,” Irvine said with a yawn.

 

“What did Moonbay do this time; kick you out of the house?” Crougar asked figuring that as the reason that he was currently sleeping in his office. He saw Irvine nod in confirmation. “Whatever it is, its work hours now so get to work,” Crougar reprimanded before walking out. He had completely forgotten what he wanted to talk to Irvine about in the first place.

 

Irvine grumbled. Technically, Crougar wasn't in charge anymore but Irvine was still forced to listen to him order people around. He got up with a yawn and walked over towards the desk. He just knew that this was going to be a long day. He just wished he knew what Moonbay was so mad at him about.

 

*****

 

Van walked down the stairs alone since Fiona was still resting. She looked a little pale though. `Maybe she's sick,' he thought hoping not because it would ruin their vacation. He just hoped that she was tired and that was it.

 

His mother was at the table sipping some coffee. It was still only ten in the morning at the time. She looked up when she heard Van coming down. “Fiona didn't come with you?” she asked not seeing the blonde haired beauty following after her only son.

 

“Nah. She is too tired to even get out of bed. I will just let her sleep. There was something that I wanted to go check up on anyways. Something that would be best if she didn't come with me,” he said and his mother just nodded trusting her son not to do anything stupid.

 

Van just walked silently out to his car and then drove for about fifteen minutes until he pulled into a park. It wasn't a place that he really wanted to go to but he wanted to see if something that he left was still there.

 

His face scrunched up as memories of what happened the last time that he was there. `That was in the past. She is with me now and that is all that I really care about,' he thought as he leaned against a tree.

 

That was where it had happened. This was where his last few moments with Fiona before she broke up with him were at. He was standing in his current position when it happened. When his world just started to get darker and darker. It was only recently started to become bright again when he got back together with Fiona.

 

`I think that if I don't say this now it will probably end up being far too difficult to say later. So, I think it would be best if we just broke up.' those words still haunted his mind even today. He was afraid that it would happen again. He lost her once and it would hurt too much to lose her again.

 

He kneeled down and sat next to a root that was sticking up into the air slightly. `Think about it now. You can probably find someone better than me,' he remembered her saying as his hand reached under the root and into a small hole that he had found years ago.

 

“Yeah and look where that has gotten me. Tiffany won't leave me alone. I wish she would just accept that I love Fiona far too much,” he said and was surprised when he felt something in the hole. He thought it would have been found by then. So he was really surprised that it was still there.

 

His hand came out of the hole in the tree and it was clenched into a fist over the object. He opened his hand slowly to take in the sight of a small black velvety box that he had left in the tree that day seven years ago. He opened it up and just stared at the small ring inside.

 

***Flashback***

 

Van was rushing through the crowds that surrounded him. He saw Irvine and Moonbay rushing after him and ended up running into several people. “Hurry up you two. I can really use some help on this,” Van said finally breaking into an area that wasn't quite crowded anymore.

 

“Maybe you should slow down Van! We can't really keep up with you with all the crowds that are around here!” Moonbay yelled and her face suddenly grew white as she felt some pervert grab her ass. She turned around quickly and slapped the man before storming to catch up to Van.

 

“No kidding. Why is it that you asked us to come anyways? You would always ask Fiona for this sort of thing. So why not just ask for her help?” Irvine asked finally squeezing through and catching up with Van.

 

Van looked at the two of them. “That's the problem. I can't ask her for this sort of thing. I would love to but that would just ruin what I have planned,” he said finally walking in several different direction trying to find a specific sport. “Come on. I want to do this quickly. I have to meet Fiona later,” he said coming to a stop trying to remember where the store was at.

 

“What is this about if you can't ask for Fiona's opinion and instead ask for ours?” Moonbay asked as she looked around trying to get some clue as to where it was that Van was taking them.

 

Van stopped looking around and blushed slightly. “What would you two say if I told you that I was planning on proposing to Fiona?” Van asked a bit shyly. He didn't know why he needed to feel shy around the two of them.

 

Both Irvine and Moonbay jumped back in surprise. “Don't you think maybe you are a little young for that Van? I'm glad that you're thinking about it but we`re just out of high school,” Moonbay said but she couldn't help but smile at the rather determined look that Van had on him at that moment.

 

“I know we're still young but I just can't imagine my life without her. I'm just afraid that maybe she won't say yes if I do,” Van said finally spotting a small jewelry store that was in a corner of the mall. He had saved up for this but didn't have a lot of money to spend and he didn't want his father's help for this.

 

Fiona hadn't been talking to him lately. That was probably the route of his fear that she would reject him. He would do this though. `I know she loves me. There is a good chance she'll accept,' Van thought with a smile as he walked into the store.

 

“Well if that is the case, then I will be more than happy to help you. Irvine will help to. Won't you Irvine?” Moonbay asked elbowing Irvine in the stomach with a smirk on her face. She heard him just mumbled but knew that as a yes. “Now let's see what we can do,' Moonbay said going into the store.

 

***End Flashback***

 

The ring in his hand was the final result after hours of searching. It was beautiful just for Fiona and was within his price range. He was going to do that just before she broke up with him but when he heard her words he was more into just trying to make her stay with him than anything else.

 

He had put the ring there as a reminder of what he had lost. He told himself he would only get it when he had Fiona back. He wasn't going to use it yet. Things were still a bit fragile between him and Fiona because of their previous relationships or in Van's case, marriage.

 

“Van?” a voice said startling him a bit making him quickly hide the case out of the view of the blonde haired woman who had obviously followed him. “Didn't expect to see you come back here. I was hoping to avoid it,” Fiona said taking a seat next to Van.

 

“Yeah but I figured that I had to put some things behind me. You found your peace with your mother but I still have a lot of things that I need to put behind me. Don't blame yourself for it Fiona. You did what you felt you needed to do. So I don't blame you. I just wish that it didn't end the way it did,” he said with a small but fake chuckle.

 

Fiona laid her head on Van's shoulder feeling good at the words that Van said. “I am still sorry though. What was that you were looking at?” she said since she saw him looking at something but was unable to see what it was.

 

“Oh it's nothing Fiona. Just something I found on the ground,” he lied but he could tell by the look on Fiona's face that she wasn't completely satisfied with his lie and knew he wasn't telling her the truth. “What?” he asked nervously.

 

“You're lying Van. Please tell me,” she said trying to look around him but he kept moving it out of view. “Oh come on!” she said diving over him and managed to grab what he was trying so desperately to hide.

 

She opened it up to see the ring. “Van?” Fiona asked nervously but he just shook his head no. “Why do you have something like this Van? You are technically still married until the divorce is final,” she said as her hands shook staring at it.

 

“I am not planning to use it Fiona. Once I did think about that. I planned to use it that night but I never got the chance to. That just made things so much worse when you broke up with me,” he said sadly figuring some sort of bad reaction to this.

 

Fiona was in shock. She stood up quickly and just dropped the ring on the ground. `He was going to propose to me then? How could I have done what I did?' she asked herself before turning around and running off.

 

“Fiona!” Van yelled standing up but she was already too far gone. It was just like that night. He was too frozen in shock to follow after her. `No, I will not lose her again! I'm not going to let her get away!' he thought running in the direction that he had seen her running in.

 

*****

 

Fiona ran for a long time. She just didn't want to stop. Her heart was pounding and she wanted to cry again. The truth just hit her harder than Van probably thought it would. Her choice was the biggest mistake of her life.

 

`H-he was going to propose to me?' she asked herself leaning against a wall and wiping the tears from her eyes. `Had things been different, I could have been married to Van and had children with him by now. Why did it have to turn out this way?' she thought wiping away more tears.

 

She had no doubts in her mind that if things hadn't been the way they had because of her mother, that she would have accepted Van's proposal without a second thought. She was so in love with him then as well as now. `I wish that he had asked me. I would have accepted no matter what circumstances I was in, but I didn't think he was interested in marriage right then. I didn't want to hold him back from the great things I know he would be able to do,' she thought as her body shook while she tried to keep in her tears.

 

“Excuse me Miss,” she heard someone say and looked up in green eyes. “I thought it was you,” the young blonde haired man said looking Fiona over. He saw her confusion and smiled. “Remember that business party a few months ago? I was there with my brother Karl Shubaltz. My name is Thomas Shubaltz,” he said with a proud smile.

 

Fiona thought about it but then she remembered how he was the one that was staring at her the whole time. “Oh… yeah. I think I remember you,” Fiona said a little nervously. She didn't want to talk to him. She really wanted to think about what she found out today.

 

“Wow this is amazing. It must be fate that we both are here in this small town at the same time,” he said with a childish laugh. “Why were you crying Miss…” he said realizing he didn't know her name. He had been thinking about her since that night and yet he never learned her name.

 

“It's Fiona. And it isn't any of your business,” she said more angry at herself than she was at him. She knew he was just trying to be kind but she just wanted to be left alone and he didn't seem to be doing that.

 

“I'm sorry. I just wanted to see if you are alright. Hey, I was just about to get something to eat. Would you like to join me?” he asked holding out a hand to her but frowned when she just took a step back. “Is something the matter?” he asked with a look of hurt on his face.

 

Fiona was about respond when a voice that she was longing to hear yelled, “Fiona!” she turned and saw Van running towards her. She couldn't help but notice how relieved he looked to see her.

 

`He probably thought I might do what I did back then and just run. I can't do that again. I just feel so bad for what I did. He was going to propose and instead all I did was break his heart,' she thought with a small frown. “Van,” she said looking towards the ground. She had completely forgotten about Thomas.

 

Thomas looked up and growled when he saw Van. “Man! I just can't seem to get away from you can I?” he yelled catching both Van and Fiona's attention to him. “Why exactly are you here anyways?” Thomas growled because him and Van never got along in the few times they saw each other.

 

Van's eyes narrowed with an annoyed look. “I was born and raised here. What's your excuse?” Van asked in a bored tone. He thought he would get away from everything and relax but he knew it wouldn't be that easy considering that Thomas was here. He had moderate skill in business and had a rather large mouth.

 

“Business,” Thomas said groaning since he knew that Van had the best excuse for being here. “Anyways I was just asking this lovely young lady to lunch. So can you make like a tree and get out of here?” Thomas asked trying to push Van away.

 

“It's make like a tree and leaf you idiot!” Van said feeling like laughing at how stupid Thomas could be at times. “Besides, you can't take her out. She is my girlfriend!” he said more frustrated this time than anything.

 

Thomas growled in annoyance. “Don't you already have a wife? Leave her alone because you can only be leading her on! You are already cheating on your wife because of Fiona,” Thomas said narrowing his eyes at Van. He just hoped that things hadn't gone very far between Van and Fiona.

 

“I cannot be cheating on my wife because I'm no longer with her. We are getting a divorce. Maybe you should keep up with the news. There sure has been a lot of it nowadays,” an aggravated Van said glaring at Thomas.

 

Thomas opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it since he knew that there wasn't anything he could say in response to that. “Why don't we just leave it to Fiona to decide,” Thomas said with a smirk turning towards Fiona only to see that the young woman had disappeared from view. “Huh? Where'd she go?” he asked very confused. He had never even seen her leave.

 

“What? Oh no! Fiona!” Van yelled running off without even a goodbye to Thomas. Van didn't care what happened that day years ago. He had told her that several times. So he just couldn't figure out why she continuously took it as hard as she did. He just wanted both of them to put the past behind them.

 

He had searched for at least an hour before taking a break. She obviously didn't want to be found but he didn't give a damn and swore that he would find her. He had seen Thomas looking but it was all in places that he had already checked so he didn't even bother to mention anything. The guy was trying to take his girl after all.

 

Van's head suddenly snapped up. A thought came to him and he knew that it was probably right. He knew where Fiona was at. If she wanted to think she went to someplace calm and peaceful. Anything in the middle of the city, even a park, wasn't completely peaceful. He knew of the perfect place where she would go.

 

*****

 

Fiona just sat on a small bench looking at the beautiful flowers in Van's mother's garden. She wanted to forget but the more she heard about back then, the more that she felt angry at herself for putting Van through such stuff. To learn that he was going to propose broke her heart.

 

When Van and Thomas had gotten into that argument, she saw her opportunity to get away and think. She wouldn't leave though. That would only be a repeat of seven years ago and that was not something that she wished upon Van. From what she heard, he suffered for years after that.

 

“Oh!” Fiona heard someone gasp upon walking into the garden. “I thought you had gone after Van,” Karin said holding a hose in her hands ready to give the beautiful flowers their daily water. “Are you ok Fiona?” Karin asked seeing the look that was in Fiona's eyes.

 

Fiona looked up at the closest thing she had to a real mother. The one who gave birth to her didn't count. She just gave a weak smile before looking down. She felt Karin sit next to her and place a hand on her shoulder. “Did you know what Van was going to do that day?” she asked knowing the older woman would know what she was talking about.

 

Karin looked at the younger woman sadly. “It is a pity that things turned out the way that they did. You would have made a lovely bride to my son. He was going on about it for days and days before then. It hurt me to see how depressed he had become after that. Nothing we tried to do seemed to have any effect on him,” Karin said not holding the least bit of resentment in her voice for some reason.

 

“I wish I could just turn back time and stop myself from running away from him,” Fiona muttered and Karin just patted her back. “Why is it that you don't resent me for what I have done? I hurt your son!” Fiona said because that had been on her mind for a while.

 

“I see that you had no intention of actually hurting him. You were just doing what you thought was best for him. Don't be sad about what happened in the past Fiona. You have all the time in the world now to make it up to him. I also know of the perfect way for you to do that,” she said with a mischievous smile.

 

Fiona blushed in embarrassment because she knew what Karin was talking about. It was all she ever talked about. `She already has one grandchild, so why so insistent for more? She seems even more determined than before,' Fiona thought staring at the beaming woman.

 

Karin was about to talk when she heard someone run into the garden. She didn't even have to look to know that it was her son. “I think I will just leave you two alone,” she said with a smile as she stood up and walked away.

 

Van was hesitant but stepped forward. “Don't run away. Please don't,” he pleaded with her and was glad when she stayed put. “I know you are feeling bad but please don't. I'm past it Fiona. You should be too,” he said taking a seat next to her.

 

Fiona looked slightly away but was suddenly forced back around and pulled into the arms of the one that she loved most. “I can't help it Van. The more I think about it, the bigger of a mistake I see it. A huge mistake that was all my fault,” she said burying her head into his chest.

 

“Don't talk like that Fiona. You and I both know that it wasn't your fault. I would have known if you were intentionally trying to hurt me. If that was the case, I wouldn't have even considered getting back together with you. That is how much I love you,” he said burying his face in her fragrant hair.

 

“It is my fault though. I should have fought back more. I shouldn't have let her rule my life so easily. I was trying too hard to impress her that I hurt the person closest to me. Now I feel like I don't deserve you,” she said as a few tears fell down her face soaking into his shirt.

 

“That is my choice and I say that you do. If that is how you feel though,” he said with a smirk as he saw her hurt face. He wanted nothing more than to see a smile on it again. “Why don't we start over, from the beginning? Pretend as if we never had a past together. Forget everything bad that has happened,” he said with a smile.

 

“Even if we pretended we would never be able to forget,” Fiona said with a small chuckle. “And it's a little late to go that far back,” she said but this time she released a blush at the thoughts of all the times they made love.

 

“Yeah I guess you are right. What do you think we should do? Get married?” he joked but he knew Fiona well enough to know she wasn't ready yet. She was trying to get over so many things at once.

 

Fiona looked up into his eyes with her sad ones. “Even if you were to ask, I would probably say no. Things are just moving a little too fast and it's becoming a bit too overwhelming. I mean we just got back together and we are doing things I wouldn't normally do,” she said clutching onto him.

 

Van looked down at her understanding her perfectly. “You're right Fiona. Why don't we just slow things down a bit for now? Go back to more of just a dating level. Sadly… no more sex,” he said with a pout that made Fiona giggle. “I can handle that though. If it means that we can make this relationship even better than before,” he said glad to hear her laugh again.

 

“That sounds good Van. I really want this all to work but I just need a little more time to put some more things behind me,” she said feeling his hold on her tighten. “I won't leave again though. Never again,” she said holding onto him tightly.

 

Van just smiled and leaned down and kissed her lips which she more than happily reciprocated. “Maybe this is all I really need Fiona. Never anything more or less,” he said kissing her lips again.

 

Hiding behind a large bush, Karin smiled at the scene but frowned knowing that things would be going too slow for her wants. She knew she was right about their sexual life because of what she heard Van say. She was kind of wishing that maybe something happened because of it. Fiona was always so careful though so she knew not to expect much. “Too slow,” she grumbled to herself walking back to the house.