Fan Fiction ❯ A MST of "Spider-Man" (A Kim Possible/Spider-Man fusion) (Fanfic by Classic Cowboy) ❯ Radio (In)active ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Chapter 3: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

CROW: This applies to Ron how?

BRIAN (Ron): With these powers, I shall… EAT MORE NACOS!

CROW: Jeez, sorry I asked.

Ron walked with a bounce in his step

MAGGIE: For he accidentally put on the spring loaded shoes.

ALL (Animaniacs): Boinggy, boinggy, boinggy.

as he entered into Middleton High School.

TOM: Where he proceed to learn absolutely nothing.

BRIAN: So Middleton is like every high school then, huh?

He walked to his locker smirking at all the double takes people were giving him.

CROW: He then got out the umbrella for all the spit takes.

BRIAN: Don't forget the wild takes.

TOM: Or exploding cakes.

CROW: How about anvil dropping?

ALL (Singing): Villain whopping!

BRIAN: We watch too many Tiny Toons reruns, don't we?

He spun the lock and used his newly found `spider-sense' to open it confidently

spinning the lock.

TOM (Kid): HEY! THAT'S MY LOCKER!

“I like the new look, Ronnie boy,” a voice spoke from behind him, and he turned

to see

TOM: Kim?

MAGGIE: Bonnie?

BRIAN: Monique?

CROW: Mom?

TOM: Chief?

CROW: McCloud!

Felicia Hardy

ALL: Oh.

looking him up and down,

MAGGIE (Felicia): Ow! I think I have whiplash.

BRIAN (Ron ala Al Bundy): I ain't got no insurance.

MAGGIE (Felicia): Oh, then never mind.

“Friday night just got better in my book.”

TOM: Wasn't that the night he said “I'm sorry?”

BRIAN: Well, if she's crazy then its true.

“Decided against the tryouts huh, Felicia?” Kim spoke as she approached them in

her cheerleading uniform, and Ron's spider-sense screamed danger. “You missed

practice too, Ron,

MAGGIE: She doesn't notice Ron's new muscles?

BRIAN: Cheerleader, remember?

MAGGIE: Right.

but that's … that's … that's … RON!”

BRIAN: So that's RON then?

Ron smiled sheepishly when Kim grabbed his hands and examined his fingers, “Ok,

Ron, where's the power ring?”

“KP, I'm just trying a new look,” Ron said

TOM: It's called steroids.

making sure she saw there was no muscle enhancing rings anywhere on his person.

CROW: No rings ladies, he's single.

MAGGIE: With good reason.

“But … But you have … muscles!” Kim protested, ignoring Felicia's giggle.

BRIAN: And here I thought they were just flesh colored basketballs glued on.

“Well, Duh Kimmie, I'd hate to think he was all skin and bone!” Felicia commented running her fingers along Ron's trim arms.

CROW: If it weren't for that spider bite, she'd be one sad nut job right now.

BRIAN: She is.

CROW: Oh?

BRIAN: For all the wrong reasons.

CROW: Ah.

Kim glared at the silver-haired girl who simply returned it with a toothy smile,

BRIAN: Gummy Sue better watch out.

MAGGIE (Felicia): I's like Britney Spears.

“By the by, Kim, I've tried out for the girls basketball team. I think I made it

so I think I'll settle for you cheering me on during the games with my big bad

Mad Dog,” Felicia ended with a coo toward the blushing Ron.

CROW: They don't allow that in public!

BRIAN: CROW!

Kim stepped between the two, “Look you little gray haired tramp, I don't know

what you're trying to pull,

BRIAN: NO!

CROW: What?

but it isn't going to work!”

TOM: Isn't it already?

“KIM!” Ron tried to step up but Kim just held up her hand.

TOM: With a smile of Christen charity, great Kimmie stalled.

BRIAN: Let's hope she doesn't get a bat Tom.

“I'm not finished,” She snapped back at Ron,

CROW: Isn't this where the goo Ray, Egon, and Peter found bubbles?

TOM: Wrong scene.

CROW: Ah.

before turning to the smirking, unaffected Felicia. “I don't know what you want with Ron, but I won't let you get away with anything, you hear me?”

BRIAN: Let her turn on her hearing aid first.

“I don't see your name on him,” Felicia stated,

CROW: It's tattooed where you can't see it.

BRIAN: What do you…? CROW!

“Though I do see the name Mankey on the ring on the chain around YOUR neck. Or are you trying to monopolize all the cute guys in school? Heh and you call me the tramp.”

BRIAN: Well, she is a cheerleader.

Kim's mouth opened,

TOM: Dispensing the candy.

before closing with a growl

MAGGIE: BAD KIM! BAD!

(CROW is Kim whimpers)

as she trembled with rage,

BRIAN: Or coffee withdrawal.

“And I have what I want from Ron,

CROW (Felicia): A naked mole rat for my scavenger hunt.

Kim,” Felicia said boastfully, “We're going out Friday night,

TOM: When the mood is right.

and we're going to have a night neither of us will EVER forget.”

MAGGIE (Felicia): For its all you can eat at the Sizzler.

“You LIAR!” Kim screamed as she threw a punch at the girl.

BRIAN: Hawaiian Punch I hope.

Felicia gracefully sidestepped the punch and tapped her shoulder hard sending her into the locker, but was caught off guard by the swift kick to the jaw.

CROW (Joey Styles): CAT FIGHT!

“You little …” Felicia hissed, before swiping at Kim's face with her finger nails, but Kim dodged the attack and grabbed Felicia's hair jerking her to the ground by it.

MAGGIE: Anybody else hopping none of them get blonde hair right now?

ALL: Yes.

MAGGIE: Just checking.

The girls rolled on the ground punching and kicking each other, when suddenly Mr. Barkin's voice boomed through the hallway. “What the devil is going on?!?”

BRIAN (Ron): Just a harmless violent cat fight.

Ron sensing the approach threw himself on top of the girls, ending the fight.

“Stoppable? Possible? Hardy? What in Robert E Lee's name is going on here?” he

growled glaring down a the three teenagers.

CROW: And looking at two interesting things about them.

BRIAN: CROW!

“Ah, well, you know me, Mr. Barkin,” Ron said flashing his trademark goofy grin,

BRIAN: Void where prohibited.

CROW: How much is it to trademark a smile?

TOM: People who smile, does this sound like you?

MAGGIE (Girl from Inventech commercial): That's my smile!

giving both flushed girls a wink, “I fell over myself and tripped up the girls and we kind of made a big mess here.”

ALL: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

BRIAN: Clean that up quick!

Barkin narrowed his eyes for a moment before shaking his head, “Stoppable, please catch up with the preschoolers and learn how to walk … please? Now get to class all three of you, the bell rang while you were rolling around like a bunch retarded earthworms.”

MAGGIE: Barkin's especially tweeked today.

CROW: Maybe his wife found out about the “After school activities.”

BRIAN: CROW!

Barkin walked off and Ron helped the girls up, “You both owe me big,” He stated eyeing both of the embarrassed girls.

CROW: This is not how to be a player. You're supposed to keep the other girl a secret.

“Bye, Ron,” Felicia said, as she gathered up her backpack and purse and started down the hallway.

ALL: WATCH OUT FOR THAT…

TOM: KLANG!

ALL: …locker.

“Well, on to Latin, KP?” Ron said hoping for the best, but his spider-sense told

him it was futile.

BRIAN: Listen to your spider-sense, for you have no common one.

“Yeah,” Kim chuckled, “Can you get anymore deluded then that?

CROW: Yes actually.

She honestly believes you're going out with her!”

MAGGIE: If Ron has any brains, he won't answer.

“I am,” Ron said nervously, “Well… I will be Friday anyway.”

BRIAN: So much for that.

“WHAT?!?”

ALL: He said “Well… I will be Friday anyway.”

“She called me last night and asked if we could go out,” Ron confessed, “I said yes, we're going out Friday night.”

CROW: Somebody call the undertaker.

TOM (Middleton undertaker): Wow! I'm gonna cash this cow for all its worth! Get cremated in the same place as Team Possible's Ron Stoppable! I'll be rich! Rich!

“RON!” Kim exclaimed, her eyes wide with shock,

BRIAN: For she was under the circuit breaker.

“How could you … how could you go out with HER? She's obviously bad news! We just fought for heaven's sake!”

CROW: All that was missing was Joey Styles yelling.

“Yes, you fought, KP,” Ron said, shaking his head, “But Felicia didn't do anything out of the way till you threw the first punch.”

MAGGIE (Kim): Hey, how about a nice Hawaiian Punch?

BRIAN: Why do I get the feeling you're gonna be rich after this?

“Ron, it's obvious she's after something!” Kim stated,

MAGGIE: Just out of curiosity, is there really anything worth seducing Ron to get?

(ALL think for a moment)

ALL: No.

MAGGIE: Just checking.

her face growing red with anger, “Why else would she ask you out?”

TOM (Sarcastic): Wow, definite words of encouragement from the best friend.

Ron gasped slightly but steadied himself, “So you say I'm not worth dating a pretty well off girl?”

CROW: Well off? No. Institutionalized? Apparently.

Ron asked, narrowing his eyes.

(ALL laugh loudly)

BRIAN (Calming down): If that's menacing, no wonder he's the goofy one.

“Ron, I didn't mean it like that …”

“Then what did you mean, KP?” Ron asked, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

ALL: Don't do it.

“Ron, just listen to reason, I have a very bad feeling about her,” Kim said, giving him her mission face. “She's bad news I can feel it. Trust me, Ron.”

CROW: Jealous?

TOM: Much.

“Trust works both ways, Kim,” Ron said, shaking her head, “I can tell you Josh is a grade A jerk in pretty boy clothing, but do you trust my word on that?”

ALL: Don't answer that.

“That's different, we've known Josh for years,” Kim stated, “You're just paranoid, he's ok, and we both know it deep down even if you don't admit it. But this girl something isn't right about her.”

TOM: If ether of them are smart, they'd leave it at that.

BRIAN: We're gonna be here for awhile, aren't we?

“We've known OF him for years, Kim,” Ron argued, getting in her face as the conversation turned into an argument,

MAGGIE: Jeez, Vince could do a PPV on these two alone.

BRIAN: And have it wind up on wrestlecrap the following week.

“We know about as much about Josh as we do Felicia and you trust Josh enough to go out with him when you could DIE because of it!

(ALL gasp)

CROW (Suspenseful soap music): Duh, duh, DUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TOM (Narrator): WILL Kim Possible die from dating Josh Mankey? Tune in tomorrow for a story that has nothing to do with this, but we will go back to them sometime in your life.

Well I trust Felicia and you know what, KP, I may even LIKE Felicia so

think you can back off?”

ALL: Don't bet on it.

“I can't do that, Ron, I won't let you get hurt,” Kim shook her head determinedly.

MAGGIE: As Ron kept hearing cracks from her neck.

“You can't be the hero all the time, Kim,” Ron snapped, “You might have some

good calls,

BRIAN: None of them collect.

but your wrong this time.”

Kim's eyes flashed

MAGGIE: AHHHHHHHH! FLASHERS!

BRIAN (Cop): Alright you two…

BOTS (Kim's Eyes): We didn't do nuthin'!

in outrage as Ron stood against her for probably the very first time, “Well then maybe if you don't trust me maybe we should just throw in the towel on Team Possible. How can we be a team if you don't trust me completely?”

BRIAN: Oh, just ignore each other until one gets captured and then you realized you were the idiot.

CROW: In other words, a typical fanfic/Disney plot?

BRIAN: Exactly.

“Maybe you're on to something,” Ron said quietly, breaking eye contact.

TOM (Construction worker): HEY! Eye concats aren't cheap!

“Huh?”

“Hey, we're going to have to pull the plug

BRIAN: Causing the great Middleton Blackout of 2005.

and go separate ways after this year anyway,” Ron shrugged his shoulders, turning his back on his best friend.

CROW: Failing to notice the knife she pulled out.

MAGGIE: Want this to end quick, huh?

CROW: Yes ma'am.

Kim felt the air turn ice cold around her

BRIAN: For they turned on the AC that day.

as she processed Ron's words. This wasn't supposed to happen. “Ron, no

TOM (Kim ala Vader): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO… *BOOM*

(TOM'S head explodes)

BRIAN: Tried to out last Vader on the o's.

(MAGGIE hands TOM to BRIAN for repairs)

… That's not true …”

MAGGIE: Or so the lie detector says.

“Yeah, it is KP,” Ron sighed, “You're probably going to end up valedictorian, and me, I'm going to be lucky to even graduate. You're going to any college you want to while I'm going to go to the city and try to find some work.

BRIAN: Feel free to jump in for your best friend at anytime Kim.

How can we be a team with two totally different lives?”

TOM (Repaired, in his seat): Oh now, what about Michale Jackson and Lisa… um…

MAGGIE: How about those two from Who Wants to Marry… uh…

BRIAN: Ron, Kim, you are screwed.

CROW: Royally.

“Ron … no …” Kim tried to say something, anything else to stop this course their

conversation had taken, but Ron pressed on.

CROW: What you want to bet in Ron's skull is “Dear Ron, I.O.U. one brain, God?”

BRIAN: Wouldn't surprise me.

“Kim, I'm not saying I don't trust you,

TOM (Ron): Yet I am.

or that I'm going to stop being your friend,

MAGGIE: Yes you are.

but …” Ron sighed and let his chin fall to his chest, “Things are changing, I'm changing…

BRIAN (Ron): I'm getting hair where I never had hair before.

and I don't know who or what I really am or what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life.

MAGGIE (Ron): Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger, can I take your order?

But I know … I can't be the sidekick anymore.”

CROW: How about the pratice dummy?

“Ron … please don't …” Kim almost begged, struggling to keep the tears at bay.

TOM: On moonlight bay?

“It'll be ok, KP,” Ron said giving her one last sad smile from over his shoulder, “Just give me some time and trust me to make the right choices for me.

ALL: Screwed.

Ok? I'll … see you around, Kim.”

ALL: Don't bet on it.

Kim shook her head trying to form words but failed miserably as she watched her best friend walk away down the hall.

BRIAN: As the priest was reading the last rites.

CROW (Warden): Dead man walking on the green mile!

---

TOM: That's the shortest road I've seen.

The day moved by slowly,

CROW: Does this mean the fic is moving slowly too?

BRIAN: God I hope not.

and Ron avoided Kim successful for the rest of the day.

MAGGIE: For he faked sick and went home.

Once School was out he went on one last rooftop run to practice and limber up before Spider-Man's fight later that night.

BRIAN: And somewhere, a pig tailed martial artist cries “Wannabe.”

He finally came home an hour and a half before time to pick up his costume and tell his parents he'd be late.

CROW: What happens when they give him the third degree?

TOM (Mr. Stoppable): Out late doing what?

BRIAN (Ron): Uh… stuff.

MAGGIE (Mrs. Stoppable): The muscles, the attitude… my God… You're on drugs!

BRIAN (Ron): MOM, NO I…

TOM (Mr. Stoppable): Son, drug test now!

Ron walked down the stairs with his new costume under his usual baggy cloths and his mask gloves and thin boots stuffed in his pockets.

CROW: Hey, is that a boot in your pocket or…

BRIAN: CROW!

“Ron, could you come here for a moment,” May Stoppable called from the kitchen.

BRIAN: But did he accept the charges?

The blond headed boy walked into the small dinning area to find his mother and

father at the table, “Dear what's going on with you and Kimberly?”

CROW (Ron): Casual sex.

BRIAN: CROW!

CROW: Oh come on! They're arguing, friends, and attracted to each other!

BRIAN: Good points, but still.

“Huh, what do you mean?” Ron played dumb forcing a smile.

MAGGIE: I don't think he's playing.

“Kim's called here several times after school, son,” Ben Stoppable said,

TOM: Thus it is time for the restraining order.

giving a small smile to his son,

BRIAN: And boy was it expensive.

“And every time she sounded as if she was very upset. What's going on?”

CROW: Your son being an idiot.

MAGGIE: In other words a typical guy.

BRIAN: HEY!

MAGGIE: Need I remind you when you asked the Mads for Star Wars and they gave us the Christmas Special?

BRIAN: Shutting up.

“Oh, um yeah,” Ron said, scratching the back of his head, “Well, I sort of gave

up being her sidekick.”

TOM: Think he should mention he made her cry?

BRIAN: Nah. He's in enough trouble already.

“What?” Ben and May Stoppable glanced at each other in shock.

CROW (Fry): I'm shocked! Well, not that shocked.

“I just … I can't do it anymore,

CROW: It's called Via—MMMMMPH!

(BRIAN grabs CROW'S beak shut)

we're going to have to stop soon anyway so I thought sooner the better …”

ALL: Uh… no.

Ron shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

BRIAN: Dodging left and right.

“Are you sure that was a wise decision? While your mother and I do worry about

you going on dangerous missions with her, but …”

TOM: Then shouldn't you be relieved that he won't get himself killed now?

BRIAN: KP fic, remember?

TOM: I forgot.

Ben said giving Ron a slightly disappointed expression.

MAGGIE: Which is less expensive than a full one.

“Son, you with Kim had a great deal of power as a team. Like they say a well-oiled machine.

BRIAN: Like Sonny and Ch… um…

CROW: Like the Beet… no…

TOM: Ron, the fact you and KP saved the world is a miracle.

But not just that, son, but you had the

power to make differences in peoples lives, either by physically saving their

lives or giving them an example, someone to look up to.

CROW: Or being the target for the lasers while Kim saved the hostages.

I hope someday you learn that great power like that … will always come with an even greater

responsibility.”

TOM: How long until what he just told Ron is dismissed?

BRIAN (Checking his watch): About two seconds.

“Now you want to tell me what to do!” Ron snapped, causing both his parents to

turn their heads to look toward him in surprise.

BRIAN: See?

“First Kim, now you two! I don't need anyone to tell me what I should or shouldn't do!

CROW: They're called parents.

I'm more then strong enough now to take care of myself and look out for number one!” Ron shot off,

TOM (NRA member): OOOO! GOT A NEW ONE!

before stomping toward the front door ignoring his parents' calls.

BRIAN: For his cell was off that day.

---

CROW: Follow the line.

The house was packed at Middleton Auditorium. People were on their feet,

MAGGIE: Because some jackass put tacks on the seats.

chanting the name of the undefeated Tough Man Wrestling World Champion,

ALL (Chanting): Gillburg! Gillburg! Gillburg!

Bone Saw, and holding up signs with his name and catch phrases.

CROW: Proving that they have no life.

Ron gulped under his mask, as he saw the last contestant rolled out on a

stretcher.

“My legs!” He cried, reaching for Ron,

TOM (Contestant): They're shiny!

“I CAN'T FEEL MY LEEEEEEEEEGS!!!”

MAGGIE (Contestant, The Fly): Help me, help me!

“You're up next, Kid,” the Promoter said shoving Ron in his Spider-Man suit

toward the archway.

BRIAN: Lets hope whatever he signed has a big life insurance policy.

TOM (Mr. Stoppable): WE'RE RICH! WE'RE RICH! We miss our son, but in death he made us very happy.

BRIAN: A little dark today?

“And the next amateur to face the Mighty Undefeated Bone Saw,”

TOM (Announcer): The Congressional Hearing on Steriod use in sports!

the ring announcer called out over his mic, “Heralding from right here in Middleton

Colorado,

TOM: Ash Ketchem?

MAGGIE: Drew Carry?

BRIAN: The Re-Animator?

CROW: Ashley J. Williams?

TOM: Chief?

CROW (Chief): McCloud!

The Amazing Spider-Man!!!”

ALL: Oh.

The crowd booed as Spider-Man fearfully made his way toward the ring, his

spider-sense going wild.

MAGGIE: Shouldn't that tell him to run?

BRIAN: This is Ron, remember?

MAGGIE: Oh yeah.

Spider-Man climbed into the ring, and the announcer started again, “This match

will end if Spider-Man is still on his feet and conscious after three minutes.

And it … WILL BE IN A STEEL CAGE!!”

CROW: This is gonna be another WWE match, isn't it?

BRIAN: You mean crap?

CROW: Exactly.

“What?” Spider-Man gasped, glancing up at the lowering steel cage, “I DIDN'T

MAGGIE: So if this is the WWE, then this would be the Middleton Screw Job?

BRIAN: Yep.

The cage lowered and latched, locking Spider-Man alone with the 6'9” 300lbs

pound wrestler.

CROW (Ron): Oh no, it's my nightmare again! Now all I need is to be in a multi-colorful outfit! Oh… wait…

“Oh boy …” Spider-Man whimpered as the bell rung, and the fighter swung at him. With his spider-sense, Spider-Man successfully dodged and countered almost all of the older fighter's attacks. The crowd was in a stunned

TOM: Aw?

Silence

TOM: Ah.

as Spider-Man made the undefeated champ look like a chump.

MAGGIE: Which is pretty easy when you think about it.

Bone Saw tried a spear tackled

CROW: Shouldn't that be “Spear tackle,” or just “A spear?”

BRIAN: You're looking for grammar in a Disney fic?

CROW: My mistake.

but Spider-Man leapt to the side of the cage and stuck to the wall by his fingertips and feet.

“What are you doing??” Bone Saw screamed at the teen.

ALL: Running.

“What's it look like,

ALL: Running.

handsome, staying away from you,” Spider-Man stated, “I

have to stay conscious for three minutes, can't do that with your BO.”

TOM (Groundskeeper Willie): Oh, good comeback!

Spider-Man leapt back down at Bone Saw hoping to catch him off guard. “Awe crap

…” the Wall Crawler groaned before he was slammed hard on his back.

CROW: Kinda one sided, isn't it?

BRIAN: Kinda?

Bone Saw thinking the small boy was down for the count turned to the crowd to

pose.

MAGGIE: And the crowd threw up.

“Hey tall dark and stinky, we're not done yet.”

Bone Saw turned to see Spider-Man back on his feet, and his gloved fist flying

toward his face. A sickening BAM echoed through the auditorium.

BRIAN: Somebody let Emerald loose again.

The ref ran in and lifted Bone Saw's arm and let it drop once, twice, three times

MAGGIE: A lady.

then signaled to ring the bell, “And the winner is SPIDER-MAN!!!” The ring announcer called as

the ref held up the masked teen's wrist.

TOM: Promptly dislocating it.

CROW: CRACK!

Ron couldn't help but smile under the mask as the crowd began chanting “SPIDER!

MAN! SPIDER! MAN!”

BRIAN (Crowd member): SPIDER!

MAGGIE (Crowd member): No, MAN!

BRIAN (Crowd Member): NO, SPIDER!

MAGGIE (Crowd Member): NO, MAN!

BOTS (Singing): Hey, let's call the whole thing off.

---

TOM: LINE! LINE!

Ron stood, still in his costume in the dirty office of the promoter who hired

him and stared at the single one hundred dollar bill in his hand. “Um, where's

the rest of it?”

CROW (Promoter): Back taxes.

BRIAN (Ron): Damn IRS.

“Rest of what?” the Promoter asked, counting his earnings, which was probably

close to half a grand.

TOM: Close, but no cigar.

“The ad on TV said a thousand dollars,” Ron asked narrowing his eyes behind the

reflective coverings.

MAGGIE: Must've missed the “Goofy sidekicks receive only $100” disclaimer.

“Thousand dollars for three minutes. You were in there for thirty seconds,” the

promoter said,

BRIAN (Promoter): Plus, I am conning you.

“You should have played around a little, then you would have gotten more money. Come back again and I might help you again.”

MAGGIE: And again, and again, and again, and…

BRIAN: Behold! The thesaurus!

“That's not fair!” Ron complained.

“I fail to see where that's my problem …” The promoter shrugged.

TOM: Oh, the courts would gladly find it for you.

“Fine whatever,” Ron growled before stomping out of the office, almost running

into another guy about to walk inside.

BRIAN: Who knows what's coming?

TOM: ME! ME!

MAGGIE: I DO! I DO!

CROW: RIGHT HERE! RIGHT HERE!

BRIAN: Just checking.

Ron took a glance sensing something wrong with the guy but was too angry with

the promoter to really care, and just continued on down the hall to the elevator.

CROW: Only to find it…

TOM (Ron): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

CROW: …empty.

As Ron waited for the elevator his spider-sense went wild,

BRIAN (Ron): I sense I'm in a Disney fic and there's nothing I can do!

and he turned back to see the man running out of the promoter's office a bag of money in one hand and a handgun in the other. Ron heard Kim's voice in his head saying stop him.

“I'm through with stopping bad guys,” Ron sighed as he stepped out of the man's

path.

TOM: Ok, so he's mad at the whole world, so he'll let the bad guys destroy it?

BRIAN: Don't sadden yourself with logic in this.

TOM: I know, but I'm just saying.

“Why??? Why did you let him get away with MY money??” The promoter screamed at

him as the elevator door closed, “You could have ripped him apart!”

MAGGIE: Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

“I fail to see where that's my problem,” Ron shrugged with a smirk.

BRIAN (Hippie): Karma man, it's a bitch.

“Besides Kim Possible or the cops will get him before the end of the night probably.”

ALL: Hmmmm… no.

---

CROW: They ran out of stars for the break.

Ron put his regular clothes back on over top of his costume and was on his way

home just before he got to the suburb where he and Kim lived, there was a large

gathering of people and police.

ALL: RAVE!

“Hang on, sir,” Ron heard a policeman say as he pushed his way through the

crowd, “the ambulance is on its way.”

CROW: Right after Mr. Cosby stops for pudding.

TOM: Mother?

BRIAN: Juggs?

MAGGIE: Speed.

Ron's eyes widened in terror when he saw

TOM: Rush Limbah in his boxers!

ALL: GASP!

CROW (Brando): The horror… the horror.

who was laying on the ground with a gunshot wound to the chest. “DAD!!!” He cried, as he shoved the two police officers who tried to stop him two feet back.

MAGGIE (Attorny): Assalt! That's assalt!

Ron fell at his father's side,

CROW: Off a cliff.

“Dad, dad what happened?”

BRIAN (Ron's dad): This? Oh, I went nuts with the backscratcher again.

ALL (Bill Engval): Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrre's your sign.

“R-Ron?” his dad croaked out, his eyes glazed over. “Thank goodness you're

alright … I was … looking for you … you're … later then usual …”

CROW (Ron's Dad): When I say I want you home by 9:30, I mean 8:00.

“Dad, don't talk, you're going to be ok …” Ron whimpered, tears stinging his eyes.

TOM: We're betting no.

“Son, I … I want you to know how proud I am of you …” Ben Stoppable whispered as

his eyes grew heavy, “Just never forget … with great power always comes great

responsibility … promise me you'll remember that …”

BRIAN (Ron): With great power comes… what again?

“I … I promise …” Ron whimpered.

MAGGIE: BAD RON! Not on the carpet!

“I … love … you … Son …”

CROW (Ron): You're not getting my Bud Light.

Ben Stoppable breathed as his eyes closed for the last time.

TOM (Ron's dad): HA! Got ya!

“Dad? Dad! DAAD!!!” Ron cried, laying his head on his father's chest.

Ron's eyes snapped open when he heard an officer's radio, “We have the suspect

trapped in a warehouse in the downtown area. Suspect is armed in dangerous,

BRIAN: Shouldn't that be a capital d then?

TOM: Typo.

BRIAN: Ah.

all officers proceed with caution.”

MAGGIE (Cop): Sir, Caution is out sick.

Ron jumped from his father's side and ran into the alleyway behind them, pulling

off his shirt and pants in route.

(ALL cover there eyes in fear)
BRIAN: FOR GOD SAKES, DO IT AWAY FROM THE PUBLIC!

He finally pulled on the gloves and mask

TOM: Is it safe to look?

(BRIAN & MAGGIE peek)

MAGGIE: Yeah, it's over.

(ALL uncover their eyes… or dome in TOM'S case)

before jumping up on the wall and scaled the wall to make his way to the

downtown area.

BRIAN: Only to collide with a roof hopping martial artist.

---

CROW (Singing): Dashing through the fanfic.

“Like candy from a baby,” the thug said looking at the money in his bag.

TOM (Thug): HEY! This is Monopoly money!

Not noticing the man sliding down from a thread behind him.

BRIAN: Not very observant, is he?

“WHO'S THERE??” He snapped turning around to find himself still alone. “I'm

hearing things...”

MAGGIE: That you failed to noticed.

“You killed my father …”

“Who said that?” He asked, drawing his gun, and glancing around the empty

warehouse.

CROW (Ron): I'm Batman.

(Ominous thunder is heard)
BRIAN: I get a feeling that the author already did that.

“You killed my father…”

TOM: For those that didn't hear that originally.

“What the?” the thug gasped when a white sticky substance attached itself over his hand and gun.

BRIAN: Not a word!

CROW: Damn.

The criminal glanced up just in time to see the fist coming toward his face.

MAGGIE: Via Fedex.

It hit with such force it sent him tumbling across the floor.

BRIAN (Weinfeild): A, IEEE, AHH, OH, OOO! Why?

“You killed my father …”

ALL: We know, we know!

Spider-Man growled walking toward the fearful thug.

TOM: Is everybody in this fic part dog?

CROW: Wouldn't surprise me.

Spider-Man grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the wall.

MAGGIE (Thug): That's the last time I volunteer to be the wrecking ball.

But when the police helicopter shinned a light through the nearby window he felt his heart drop.

(TOM makes a whistle sound)

CROW: Kerplop.

He knew the man's face.

Spider-Man dropped the man and back peddled several paces. “You … not you …”

CROW: Yes… YOU!

It was the same man who robbed the wrestling promoter, the same man Ron let get away.

TOM: Well, that's what you get for holding your grudges.

`I could have stopped it … I could have saved Dad … oh god what have I done?!?'

BRIAN: Oh, be an idiot.

MAGGIE: So, nothing new then?

BRIAN: Nope.

Spider-Man thought not noticing the man pick up a led pipe with his free hand.

CROW: It was out on bail.

The man swung at Spider-Man's head,

TOM: HOME RUN!

but on spider-sense alone caught the pipe

MAGGIE (Umpire): YOU'RRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE OUT!

and spun it so quickly that it snapped the man's wrist and arm in three places.

CROW: Try for four and make him an amputee.

Spider-Man never even looked up as the thug and murderer stepped back crying out

TOM: Loud?

MAGGIE: In fear?

BRIAN: Laven?

CROW: In pain?

in pain

CROW: HA!

before falling out the broken window behind him.

BRIAN: Good thing that was already broken or the glass would hurt.

Spider-Man glanced out the window at the man who murdered his dad lying on the

ground dead. `No,' Ron thought as he pulled off the mask, `He didn't kill dad …

I did …'

CROW (Ron): I was… uh… sleepwalking! Yeah, that's it.

---

MAGGIE: If this is supposed to think of Ms. Dash, it's not working.

BRIAN: Are you guys getting paid to plug things today?

CROW: I'm getting a PSP.

BRIAN: Never mind.

Ron finally dragged himself back home,

TOM (Ron): No! I can't make me!

and was mildly surprise to see his mother wasn't alone.

CROW: Ron, you're about to learn where baby's come from the hard way.

BRIAN: CROW!

On the couch in the living room his mother and Kim were seated crying.

MAGGIE: You would too after chopping onions.

Kim and May Stoppable saw Ron enter and Kim stood to her feet. “Ron …” was all

she said as the two locked eyes.

TOM: And they both forgot the combination.

BRIAN: D'HO!

ALL: Waw, waw, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

No words were needed as she walked to him, and pulled him to her. Ron wrapped his arms around her wait tightly

TOM: CRACK!
MAGGIE (Kim): MY SPINE!

BRIAN (Ron): Heh, heh. Sorry KP, Spider Strength.

CROW: Kids, best to know your spider strength before you hug your girlfriend. Or you'll be talking to the cops.

as he laid his head on her shoulder and the two best friends, though not exactly on the best of terms,

CROW: That would explain the daggers they're holding aimed at each other's spines.

best friends nonetheless, cried in each other's arms.

MAGGIE: And Kim soaked it up like a sponge.

---

TOM: Ok, does this need any set up?
BRIAN: I think we did all we could for now.

The next night, Ron lay alone in bed. He had finally stopped crying earlier that morning and now he just sat there letting his father's final words run through his mind.

TOM (Announcer): And its His Father's Final Words, taking the lead in the marathon.

“With great power must always come great responsibility.”

CROW (Ron): I'm gonna use my power to raid every Bruano Naco!

BRIAN (Ron's Dad): I try to give my kid a moral value, but does he listen? Nooooooooooooooo.

“Ron, it's for you!” His mom walked into his room with the cordless phone.

Ron smiled sadly at his mother, who was still crying, and took the phone,

(BOTS making various police siren sounds)
BRIAN (Police): This is the police! We know you took the phone Mr. Stoppable! Come out with your hands up!

MAGGIE (Police): And for God sakes, keep the pants up too!

“H-Hello?” Ron said suddenly getting a flash of Spider-sense.

“Ron! It's Kim!” Wade said panicky on the other line, “She's outnumbered badly. Shego and Drakken have over twenty guards and …

CROW (Singing): FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!

BRIAN: Very nice.

CROW: Thanks.

Ron they're beating her, you have to help her!”

TOM (Ron): Why should I?

MAGGIE (Wade): HELLO! YOU'RE THE SIDEKICK!

TOM (Ron): Oh yeah, I forgot.

Ron started to say he was on his way when the words went through his mind yet again.

BRIAN: “Sale at Macy's. Sale at Macy's. Sale at Macy's.”

`With Great Power must always come Great Responsibility.'

MAGGIE (Ron): I'M GONNA PARTY!

CROW (Ron's Dad): THAT'S NOT WHAT I MENT!

“I'm sorry, Wade,” Ron said sadly.

CROW (Ron): Bill Gates now owns every computer in the country.

TOM (Wade): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

“Ron you can't mean that!” Wade said, his voice showing his shock.

“I do, I can't help her, not anymore.” Ron said and with that he hung up on his old friend.

“I can't do a thing to help her,”

BRIAN (Ron): Its my day off.

Ron said as he pulled the backpack with his costume out from under his bed, “I can't … but … I know who can.”

CROW (Ron): GET ME BATMAN!

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Does whatever a spider can

TOM: What the…?

MAGGIE: I think the author decided to give us the theme song to the old 60's cartoon.

BRIAN: WHATEVER WE DID, WE'RE SORRY!

Spins a web, any size

Catches thieves, just like flies

CROW: So then he eats them, huh?

Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man!

TOM: Not just Spider-Man, THE Spider-Man!

Is he strong? Listen, Bud!

He's got radioactive blood.

CROW: Ok! Ok! We were just asking! Jeez.

Can he swing from a thread?

Take a look overhead.

(ALL look over head)
BRIAN: Oh, they mean in New York.

CROW: Oh.

Hey there, there goes the Spider-Man!

ALL (Singing): Watch out for that…
BRIAN: AYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAA!

TOM: CRASH!
CROW: BANG!
MAGGIE: BOOM!

ALL (Singing): …treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

In the chill of night,

At the scene of the crime

Like a streak of light

CROW: OFFICER! HE'S STREAKING!

He arrives just in time

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

Wealth and fame, he's ignored

CROW: HEY! He tried to get it in Spectacular Spider-Man #1!

TOM: Fanboy.

Action is his reward

To him, life is a great big bang-up

Wherever there's a hang-up

You'll find the Spider-Man!

BRIAN: Again, not just Spider-Man, THE Spider-Man!

To Be Continued …

TOM: Unfortinitly.

NEXT CHAPTER: Kim Possible meets the newest hero in town, and will Ron's date

with Felicia Hardy make him feel better after the recent tragic events?

ALL: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… no.

Or will a certain redhead sabotage the whole thing?

ALL: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm… yes.

(ALL exit)

(Door sequence)

(SOL, where BRIAN is reading a comic book, but then MAGGIE suddenly appears in a 1960's Star Trek Capt. Uniform, freaking out)

MAGGIE: BRIAN HELP ME!

BRIAN (Still reading): Sure, I'd be happy to- (Looks up) WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE FORCE HAPPENED?!

MAGGIE: I DON'T KNOW! One minute, I was myself, then something bit me, and now I can speak a language that has no bassist in society and have an urge to spend my life savings on really cheep action figures!

(CROW runs in)

CROW: AHHHHHHHHHH! I CAN SUDDENLY TELL WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN FRUIT OF THE LOOM AND HANES! HELP!

BRIAN: Say what?

CROW: I was oogling my Sailor Moon hentai, when something bit me and now I know how many types of Underwear the industry puts out! AND I CAN EVEN QUOTE X-MEN LINES!

MAGGIE: YOU TOO?!

BRIAN: Wait a sec… the both of you can quote comic lines, Maggie became a Trekkie… and Crow has a weird fascination of Underwear…

MAGGIE: YES!

CROW: EXACTLY!

MAGGIE: What's going on?!

(Commercial light flashes)

BRIAN: I think a certain bubble gum machine has a lot to answer for, we'll be right back.

(BRIAN taps the button)

BRIAN: TOM, DID YOU GET INTO THE PLUTONIUM AND STARTED BITTING PEOPLE AGAIN?!

TOM (Voice Over): Maybe!

(Planet Bumper)

(Commercials)