Fan Fiction ❯ A MST of "Spider-Man" (A Kim Possible/Spider-Man fusion) (Fanfic by Classic Cowboy) ❯ So THAT'S why he crashes ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Chapter 2:

TOM: Electric Boogaloo!

A Whole New Ron

MAGGIE (Singing): A new fantastic point of view.

It was before sunrise Sunday morning as Dr. Norman Possible

CROW: Wait… NORMAN possible?

BRIAN: Ether he's the Green Goblin, or his mom doesn't want him to watch pretty girls.

MAGGIE: And with that suggestion of yours, lets hope it's the former.

stood with his assistants and Dr. Betty Director of Global Justice in his secure lab below the

Middleton Space Center.

TOM (Nerd): WOW! A SECRET LAB!

CROW (Norman): Damn guards sleeping again!

“As you can see the G-7

BRIAN: You sunk my Battleship!

`Goblin' Glider, Doctor, it is the fastest and most versatile assault vehicle you can have. But there is one minor setback,”

MAGGIE (Dr. Possible): It constantly crashes.

Dr. Possible said as he walked over and picked up a vial of green liquid, “This is what we've called the Goblin Formula.

TOM: Made from the best stuff on Earth.

You see because of the Glider's intensity and speed the pilot has to be stronger, more agile, and have split second reflexes.

CROW (Norman): The Six Million Dollar Man wasn't available.

This formula will give assigned pilots those abilities.”

MAGGIE (Norman): And a nice healthy glow.

TOM (Norman): And no bitter after taste.

BRIAN (Homer): Mmmmm… Experimental.

“Very good,” Dr. Director said, “How has the tests been with the formula?”

CROW (Norman): Tests?

BRIAN: Me hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

CROW (Norman): QUITE YOU! Uh... tests are great!

“We haven't … had a human test, but lab rat experimentation has proven almost 100% successful.”

TOM: So then wouldn't be somewhere in the upper 90%'s range?

CROW: I think that's business lingo for “Don't get your hopes up.”

TOM: Ah.

“Almost 100%?” Dr. Director cocked an eyebrow.

MAGGIE (Dr. Director): Finally… DR. DIRECTOR HAS COME BACK TO MIDDLETON!

“Yes,” one of the assistants spoke up, earning a glare from Dr. Possible,

BRIAN: Worked hard for it too.

“Out of ten lab rats, nine resulted as we had hoped.”

“And the one that didn't?” Dr. Director asked, eyeing Dr. Possible.

CROW: But he's a married man!

BRIAN: CROW!

“That one …” The assistant said as Dr. Possible looked away, “It became very …

TOM (Assistant): Delicious.

violent and seemingly insane. It destroyed everything in its cage and we finally

had to put it down before it broke out and hurt one of the lab techs.”

CROW: So, they're all afraid of mice?

BRIAN: Looks that way.

“I'm sure the formula is safe, Doctor,” Dr. Possible said reassuringly.

TOM: Just ignore that one rat that went insane and its fine.

“I won't accept the project unless you have a 100% success rate and human testing,” Dr. Director said, “Unless you have that, I'll have to accept the project proposed by Henchco.”

BRIAN: So she'll pass up the project by a company ran by the dad of one of the world's greatest heroes for a project by an organization that supplies the stuff to villains that helps them be villains?

CROW: Remember, this is a KP fic.

BRIAN: Right, no logic.

“But, Dr. Director! Betty, I've invested everything in this project,” Dr. Possible tried to reason, “Everything, my home, even Kimmie's college fund. If this project is dropped me and my family will be ruined!”

CROW: He's a caring caregiver.

TOM: Just out of curiosity, what happens when Mrs. Possible asks about the family funds?

MAGGIE (Homer): LALALALA, NOTHING LEFT!

“I'm sorry, Norman, but if you don't have it ready in one month, ONE MONTH,

BRIAN: So he has one month then.

I'm going with Henchco,” She said patting his arm,

MAGGIE (Dr. Director): Good Norman, nice Norman.

BRIAN (Norman): Wolf! Wolf!

“I really am sorry. I'll come back in one month. Have it ready.” And with that Dr. Director left the lab.

TOM (Apu): Thank you, come again.

Dr. Possible frowned before slamming his fist into the wall, “Damn it!” he

cursed,

CROW: Jeez, this will not be the year for the Cubs or Middleton.

“Why did you have to mention that one blasted rat?”

TOM: Gee, I don't know, one would think it'd be nice to know if our own government was driving us nuts.

“I'd think she'd have the right to know, sir,” the assistant said weakly.

“I know you're right …” Dr. Possible sighed, “Expect another all-nighter and

bring in some more rats.”

CROW: Hide the lawyers!

BRIAN: “Hide the lawyers?”

CROW: He called out for more rats, didn't he?

(TOM, MAGGIE, and BRIAN groan at the joke)

---

TOM (Actor): Line! Line!

Ron groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. He felt more refreshed then he had in his entire life.

He stretched his strangely loose muscles and hopped out of bed.

CROW: Ron then remembered he wished he had no bones.

He then ruffled his own hair, before doing his morning ritual of greeting

himself in the mirror, “You are somebody,

BRIAN (Stewart Smally): And dog gone it, people like me.

you are … WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE NACO?!?!?!”

Ron glanced at himself in the mirror; his skinny, potbellied body was replaced

with one with broad shoulders, large pectorals, muscular arms, and a six-pack.

MAGGIE: The wonder of steroids.

A grin started to grow as he flexed his pecks and arm muscles. “Booyah …” He

started softly but slowly grew in volume, “Booyah … Booyah! BOOYAH!!!!”

CROW: Thus shattering every window in the tri state area.

“Ronald, are you ok in there?” His mother spoke worriedly from the other side of

his bedroom door, “Are you feeling better today? You were quite ill Friday

night.”

CROW (Mrs. Stoppable): What are you doing in there?!

TOM (Ron): NOTHING! LEAV ME ALONE!

CROW (Mrs. Stoppable): WHY IS THIS DOOR LOCKED?! OPEN UP!

TOM (Ron): LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M NOT DOING…

BRIAN: GUYS!

“Oh yeah, I'm MUCH better today, mom,” Ron said making a few wrestling poses.

“That daily affirmation stuff you told me about finally worked!”

CROW: And drugs.

---

BRIAN: Bred crumbs incase you get lost.

“If sleeping for a whole day would do this,” Ron said as he pranced down the

street, “I'm gonna have to try sleeping for a whole week next time!”

TOM: Thus Middleton would be without its mascot.

CROW: So they ordered lots and lots of sleeping pills.

Ron had come down for breakfast and informed that it wasn't Saturday morning, but Sunday morning. He had slept for over twenty-four hours.

ALL: Duh.

Now he was walking down the sidewalk toward the Possible home in a pair of tight pants and a tight fighting tank top. “I'm too sexy for shirt, too sexy for my shirt,” Ron sang as

he walked with his chest stuck out, “so sexy … aw it hurts!”

(ALL wince)

BRIAN: No kidding.

Ron finally made it to the Possible's three-story home and entered as he

normally would. “Mrs. Dr. P, how are you this fine morning!” Ron said cheerfully

walking into the kitchen.

CROW: Ah, into older women, are we?

BRIAN: CROW!

“I'm fine thank you, Ron,” Mrs. Possible smiled, not taking her eyes off her work of washing her prized china.

TOM (Ron): Let me help!

CROW: CRASH!

MAGGIE (Mrs. Possible): RON!

“How are you feeling, Kimmie said you were sick, and she's called you several times yesterday.

BRIAN: And we thought Ron was the stalker.

You're mom said you were resting. Kim will be happy to know you're feeling better.”

“Oh I have never been better, Mrs. Dr. P,” Ron grinned, “Kim up in her room

still?”

“No, I'm sorry, Ron,” Mrs. Possible shook her head as she finished scrubbing the last plate, “Josh Mankey came by not fifteen minutes ago with his new sports car

MAGGIE (Mrs. Possible): With police sirens close behind.

his parents got him for his birthday. He took her for a ride. She should be back

soon if you want to … whoa …” Mrs. Possible finished with a sudden stop when she

finally looked up at Ron, letting the plate drop from her hands on seeing Ron's

new `look'.

TOM: Oh no!

MAGGIE: Don't tell me!

BRIAN: You're kidding!

CROW: Don'tgotheredon'tgotheredon'tgothere…

Ron swooped down and grabbed the plate before it even hit the ground and sat it

on the counter. His face losing some of it's overbearing joy it had moments ago.

BRIAN: She's got him in her sites.

“No thanks, Mrs. Dr. P, I think I'll just go on. You can tell her I stopped by…”

CROW: Just back up slowly, slowly… slowly…

“Ron wait!” Mrs. Possible stopped him,

CROW: DAMN!

“Chest what happened to you,”

TOM: Bad time for a Freidan slip.

she said before shaking her head, “I mean, just what happened, you've … well, you're …

you look good.”

`Well, at least I got A Possible's attention,' Ron gulped as he watched the older redhead lick her lips.

TOM (Singing): Whoa, here she comes.

CROW (Singing): She's a man eater!

“Um, I think I'll be going now, by Mrs. Dr. P!”

BRIAN: RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! RUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Mrs. Possible shrugged, and went back to her chores as Ron ran out of the house.

MAGGIE (Ron): Move faster you damn legs! Move faster!

---

CROW: This fanfic is made in brail for the blind.

TOM: And to you blind people, we envy you right now.

“Damn that Mankey,” Ron cursed punching his palm, “Every time I get a leg up on

him,

(BRIAN grabs CROW'S beak shut)

he pulls another trick

(BRIAN still has CROW'S beak shut)

out of his hat.”

MAGGIE (Rocky): Again?

Ron wasn't paying attention to where he was going anymore,

ALL (Singing): Watch out for that…

BRIAN (Ron): Ayayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

TOM: CRASH!

MAGGIE: BOOM!

CROW: BAM!

ALL (Singing): …treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

his mind only on the thoughts of Kim with Josh in a car and what activities they were doing in said

motor vehicle.

BRIAN: Don't make me get out the duck tape.

CROW: Damn.

Ron shuddered at the thought. “Maybe I should just give up on KP,”

MAGGIE: Wouldn't be much of a story.

CROW: And the problem is?

Ron sighed as he vaguely noticed he stepped off the sidewalk to cross the street,

TOM: Not noticing the “Don't Walk” sign.

“That Felicia girl's really nice, and more then pretty.

BRIAN: Nuts to boot.

Maybe I should just give her a chance.

CROW: Lets not and say you never did.

After all KP doesn't seem to want to give me a chance any time soon.”

MAGGIE: Then how about Community Chest?

CROW (To BRIAN): And you think my jokes suck?

Suddenly a strange feeling crossed through his mind and he felt as if all his senses became super sensitive.

BRIAN: Congratulations on hitting puberty Ron.

It was like he was suddenly aware of everything around him, the people in the shops all around him, the people eating at the Bueno Nacho, Josh and Kim riding together down the street,

CROW: Wait… Ron Stoppable paying attention to the world around him?

TOM: Ok, now I'm scarred.

the massive Mack truck barreling down on him at that very moment.

MAGGIE (Trucker): WOOOOOOOOOOO! A BLONDIE KID! TEN POINTS!

Ron out of instinct raised his arm toward a two-story building in front of him and pressed his two middle fingers into his palm. The slight pressure caused a stream of silk-like webbing to fire in the form of a long thread from his wrist and attach itself to the top corner of the building. He unconsciously drew the strand back jerking himself

BRIAN: CROW, NO!

CROW: Awwwwwwwwwww.

up to the side of the building and out of the truck's path.

CROW (Ron): Me Tarzan, you Kim.

BRIAN: Crow, out of all the things to make me sick, did you really have to make me picture Ron in a loin cloth?

CROW: Thanks a lot, now I'm doing it.

TOM: UGH!

MAGGIE: Dear, this is one of those “Shut up” moments we talked about.

BRIAN: But…

MAGGIE: SHUT UP!

BRIAN: Yes ma'am.

Ron glanced back down and shook his fist at the already past truck

CROW (Ron): DICKWEED!

when something frightening struck him:

TOM: He was in a crossover fanfic.

He was hanging onto the side of the building by only his fingertips and knees.

BRIAN: The syrup in the cafeteria must have been really sticky for him to do that.

Ron stared at his hands and fingers pressed into the brick structure before experimentally lifting his hand and placing it up one step, then another, then another, before he finally scaled to the top of the building. “Wow …”

MAGGIE (Ron ala Training Day): KING KONG GOT NOTHIN' ON ME!

Ron gawked, staring at his hands. He then brought his middle fingers

BRIAN: Showing Josh what Ron really thought.

and slowly pressed into the soft flesh of his palm and another strand of webbing shot from

the small pore that was in the bend of his wrist.

TOM (Ron): A ZIT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

He grinned mischievously as he noticed the crane on the top of the next

building. He took aim and after only two tries fired a long webline to the side

of the machine. Making a Tarzan call Ron leapt into the air holding onto the

webline to swing across the gap.

ALL (Singing): Watch out for that…
BRIAN (Ron): AHHHHHHHHHHHYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TOM: CRASH!

CROW: BOOM!

MAGGIE: BAM!

ALL (Singing): ….treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ron, Ron, Ron Stoppable, friend to you and me.

TOM: Boom-da-boom-boom.

The brick wall

BRIAN (Singing): All and all, you're just another…

CROW: NO!

BRIAN: Aw man, that was a great song too.

on the other side of the opposite rooftop taught him that he needed to work on stopping himself.

MAGGIE: You get the feeling Ron would have worked well on D2?

TOM: SKREEECH!

CROW (Ron): I STOPPED!

BRIAN (Gordon Bombay): SHOOT IT!

---

TOM: If those represent stars, that's 3 too many.

After a few hours of practice Ron had gotten the web throwing and web swinging

almost down,

BRIAN: He didn't injure that many people this time.

and had learned that not only did he have the webbing and wall

crawling ability, but he could also jump five time higher and farther then he

could before, he was faster, stronger, and more agile then even Kim herself.

CROW: But the real test came when he had to pull a rabbit out of his hat.

He finally came home and threw himself down on his bed.

TOM: Causing it to collapse under its own weight.

He knew he should be worn out, he still felt full of energy.

MAGGIE: Caffeine'll do that to ya.

“Well, Rufus, what did you think?” Ron

asked, as his best friend and pet timidly crept out of his pocket.

“I made mess …” Rufus said timidly, glancing back at the pocket.

ALL: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

“Eww …” Ron said

BRIAN: That's what we said.

MAGGIE: Is this where we say “Great minds think alike?”

BRIAN: This is Ron, remember?

MAGGIE: Never mind then.

carefully removing his pants, and putting on another, “So now I need a way to test what I can do, any ideas buddy?”

TOM: Wasn't what he was doing earlier a test?

CROW: Must be the post display your abilities test.

BRIAN: You think he'll pass?

MAGGIE: Unless those answers he wrote on his arm was off.

CROW: Ouch.

“Bad guys!” Rufus chimed.

“No if I do that, Kim will find out,” Ron said crossing his arms, “if she knew she'd try to `help' me get rid of my `problem' and I don't want to lose these.”

CROW (Ron): I wouldn't be a man without `em.

BRIAN: CROW!

“Dunno!”

Ron mused on the concept for a few moments before the phone ringing interrupted

his thoughts. “Hello? Oh hey KP, how was the ride with Josh? … Yeah I'm feeling

better … ”

MAGGIE: Or bitter.

Ron's eyes turned to the TV where an advertisement where a local wrestling promotion was having a tough man competition. Ron was slowly becoming irritated at Kim's mother hen comments coming his way over the phone when he was trying to hear what the TV said.

BRIAN (Ron): Turn your concerns for my well being down! I'm trying to watch me wrestling!

“No I'm not distracted, KP, why do you ask that?” Ron asked,

MAGGIE (Kim): Because I hear two men fake punching each other.

before his eyes widened and his mouth flew open, “Kim! Felicia isn't here!”

“Why would I lie about that?” Ron asked in surprise, “KP, Why are you so down on

her?

(BRIAN grabs CROW'S beak shut)

What has she ever done to you? …

TOM: Made her OOC.

That's no excuse, KP, why is that so incriminating? …

MAGGIE: If it doesn't fit, you must…

BOTS: NO!

MAGGIE: Ok, ok. Jeez.

Are you saying that only a crazed psychopath would hit on me?”

CROW: That was right on the dot.

“Oh so now I'm not to speak to her?

ALL: No.

When did mom die and you grabbed her job? …

TOM: Last week.

Oh please …” Ron rolled his eyes as Kim's voice grew louder on the other end.

“So I have to have your permission to make friends? …

ALL: No.

That's what it sounds like to me … if it's not what do you mean? … Huh? … KP, you still there?” Kim finally spoke up again and Ron couldn't help but chuckle, “Kim, just because she gives

you a bad vibe doesn't mean she's some masked super villain!

ALL: Yes it does.

So what if you have a bad vibe, I STILL have a bad vibe about Monkey Boy and you're still going out with the ass …

CROW: He's a donkey now?

hey if you want to jump on my friends, I'll jump on yours.”

(BRIAN grabs CROW'S beak shut)

Ron let out a deep sigh, “KP, I don't want to go through this now, can this wait

till later I'm busy doing stuff …

CROW (Ron, shifty): Yeah… stuff.

BRIAN: CROW!

KIMBERLY! For the last time STUFF doesn't translate into Felicia, you dirty minded

BRIAN: CROW!

CROW: Read the rest of it.

girl!

BRIAN: Oh. Sorry.

CROW: S'aright.

Fine, see you tomorrow morning, `click' bye to you too.”

Ron hung up the phone and turned back to the TV when the phone rang again.

CROW (Telemarketer ala Homer Simpson): Are you a sidekick that gained the power that would have gone to somebody with an IQ? Are you pissed that your best friend is dating somebody else? Then send one dollar to “Happy Dude.”

“Look, KP, if you're going to keep up the mother hen routine I'm going to ... oh hi Felicia!”

TOM: Watch as Ron proves Kim right.

BRIAN: Just to make one thing clear, the nut house?

CROW: Yep.

“Uh oh …” Rufus said under his breath as he listened in on the conversation.

“How did you get my number?”

BRIAN: It's called “Internet.”

Ron asked, before nodding, “Met Monique huh? Yeah she's nice… no I'm not planning anything Friday night, unless some bad guy shows up for me and KP to send packing …” Ron froze

TOM: Oh great, the last thing we need is Mr. Freeze.

as Felicia asked a question, and he took a long glance at the photo of Kim on his bed stand.

MAGGIE (Ringmaster): Ladies and gentlemen… the dumbest act in this fanfiction's shortest history.

He gave a quiet snort before putting the picture face down,

MAGGIE (Ringmaster): TA-DA!

“Sure Felicia I'll go out with you Friday,

TOM: A nut house, you say?

CROW: Of course.

know where the Bueno Nacho is? Meet you there at sevenish ok? Great, it's a date!” he said before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

CROW: But then he realized he was talking into his hand and it was all in his head.

TOM: D'HO!

ALL: Waw, waw, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

“I have an idea for a test, Buddy,” Ron said,

TOM (Ron): If two trains left Middleton at the same time…

as he moved to the trunk at the end of his bed where he stored all the souvenirs from his adventures with Kim.

BRIAN (Ron): Ok, let's see, what do we got, rocket shorts, grappling hook hooked to pants, rocket shoes that cause me to crash into walls…

CROW: And Kim actually succeeds with this guy?

BRIAN: Surprisingly yes.

“I'm gonna enter into the tough man competition tomorrow night, but first I need

a costume …”

CROW (Ron): Buster Bunny costume… I'll save that for this year's convention.

MAGGIE: What are you implying?

CROW (Shifty): Uh… nothing.

BRIAN: CROW!

“Perfect!” Ron said as he pulled out a red and blue uniform he had warn to go undercover with Kim into a villain's hideout.

MAGGIE: For it was bold color statement day at Dracken's.

“Not good enough yet … needs a pattern, maybe a web pattern, what do you think pal? Black webs over the red parts?”

“Ahuh, yep! Yep!” Rufus nodded.

Ron worked till late in the night stitching black webs over the red patches on

the chest, gloves, boots, and the full mask, and also placing a large red spider

shape on the plain blue back of the suit.

TOM (Ron): Ow, ow, ow, OW!

For the final touches he placed reflective eye coverings over the two eyeholes and also a black spider-symbol over the center of the chest.

CROW: For the red S was taken.

At one AM Ron looked over his finished work.

MAGGIE: Wow, Ron is so broke, the clock can only word the time.

BRIAN: Ouch.

“Nice! Nice!” Rufus chimed from his shoulder looking at the red and blue costume.

“One last piece of business and we can hit the sack,”

TOM: For it was being mean that week and needed to be punished.

Ron stated folding up the costume and putting it in a box under his bed, “I need a name …”

“Spider-Man!” Rufus chimed.

“How about the Human Spider?”

“Spider-Man!”

BRIAN: Listen to the naked rodent.

CROW: For it has more brains.

“Na, too horror movie-ish.”

TOM: Roger Corman movie-ish to be exact.

BRIAN: I thought more of Ed Wood.

“Spider-Man!”

“How about Bug Boy?”

MAGGIE (Sarcastic): Oh, that's way better than the Human Spider.

“Spider-Man!”

“Hmmm nope … How about Wall Crawler?”

ALL: Getting warmer.

“Spider-Man!”

“That's it, I just thought of it!” Ron said jumping off his bed, “I know what

the perfect name is!”

“What?” Rufus cocked his head to the side.

CROW: The Peeping Tom!

BRIAN: CROW!

“Spider-Man!” Ron said dramatically.

“Oh brother!” Rufus groaned, falling over.

TOM: Too bad he didn't see he was 13 stories up.

BRIAN (Rufus): I REGRET NOTHING!

To Be Continued …

A/N: next chapter, a friendship is tested,

MAGGIE: Let's hope its not a word problem.

a team is broken, and a very hard

(BRIAN grabs CROW'S beak shut)

lesson of power and responsibility is learned. By the way, I know Blush happened

when they were just sophomores or maybe juniors, but I'm making them seniors

around that time for the sake of this story.

BRIAN (Author): BECAUSE I AM EVIL! MWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Enjoy the update and don't forget to review!

CROW: We would if we could.

(ALL exit)

(Door sequence)

(SOL)

GYPSY: Incoming communication on the hexfeild.

BRIAN: Ok, put it on screen Gypsy.

CROW: I wonder who it is.

(Hexfeild opens to reveal…)

MAGGIE: George of the Jungle?!

CROW: Wow, one of the kings of the jungle calling us.

TOM: Yeah, but why.

GEORGE: Me am king! That Tarzan been too busy at evil movie studio, so me convince him to advocate.

BRIAN: Well, its an honor to have you here Mr. Of the Jungle.

GEORGE: Just call George George.

TOM: Ok, George. Even though we're glad to hear from you, why did you call?

GEORGE: George say he saw you watching fanfic in theatre.

CROW: Not by choice.

GEORGE: Just telling tortured individuals to watch when Ron web swings. George taught Ron everything he knows.

(ALL have uh-oh looks)

BRIAN: Uh… everything?

GEORGE: Yes. There problem?

MAGGIE: Uh… no offence George, but you're not exactly… uh…

CROW: Coordinated.

BRIAN: CROW!

GEORGE: Oh that. George let you in on secret. Me crash on purpose. Get Ursula and Fella to nurse George back to health.

(ALL blink, well, at least those that can, in surprise)

BRIAN: Oh, well that explains it.

TOM: Yeah.

CROW: Nobody can be that naturally klutzy.

MAGGIE: CROW!

GEORGE: George go now. George need urgent care.

(GEORGE grabs a vine and swings)

BRIAN: WATCH OUT FOR THAT…

*WHAM*

(Hexfeild closes, ALL wince)

(Commercial sign)

TOM: Talk about TMI.

BRIAN: No kidding. We'll be right back.

(BRIAN hits the commercial button)

(Planet bumper)

(Commercials)