Fan Fiction ❯ Confessions of a Teenage Basket Case ❯ The Days We Wished We All Died ( Chapter 2 )

Confessions of a Teenage Basket Case

By: kawaii berry

***

January 2

Woke up. Henry was already awake, for, like, four hours. How can people wake up so early? No one wakes up at 5:00 AM on a holiday. He said he wanted to study for his upcoming exams. WHAT? It's 9:00 AM, January 2, and it's not supposed to be a studying day. He also brought his notes. Tour our house. That is very weird, if you ask me.

***

Confined to my room for ridiculing Henry and his precious notes. I asked why he wanted to study NOW. Mom said not to question someone who was smarter and more intelligent than me. She sent me to my room for "extra studying time." It is such a drab. When are they going to leave? HELP!!!

***

I would love to curse now. LOVE TO. They are staying over for the whole day. Mom told Aunt Tara about the marvelous shopping malls they have here. Aunt Tara goes NUTS about shopping. REALLY WACKS!!! Dad and Uncle Brad were like "There goes my spending money, why did I even BOTHER to marry?" kinda thing.

***

Uncle came in, smoking his cigar like he had no worries.

"Hey, Helen!" he smiled his ugly smile. "Want to hear a joke?"

"No."

He didn't hear me. "Knock knock!"

I sighed. "Who's there?"

"Monster."

"Monster who?"

"Monster's raiding my truck!" he laughed hysterically.

Bloody, get out of my room.

***

BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!! Laura is coming. SHE IS COMING OVER!!! Laura is going to spread about my idiot cousin, like she did last time!!! Except it was my cousin twice removed.

***

Laura is at the door. I can't pretend she's not there!

***

Oh man, this is getting bad...

Laura came in, right? Then Henry totally pulled a Mr. Charming attitude on. He started FLIRTING WITH LAURA. So I was all "OH MAN I AM DEAD, SHE CANNOT TELL THE WHOLE SCHOOL!!!" thing.

Well, guess what? Now Henry's got a new date. Laura doesn't even know about Henry's studing and snoring habits!!!

***

Must call a girlfriend before I die of boredom.

Me: HIYA VICKI PLEASE HELP ME!!! My aunt and cousin are here FOR THE WHOLE DAY!!! You know how much I hate them!!! Then Laura just had to come over and then now they're dating!!! This is so embarrassing!!! Any advice? HELP ME, VICKI!!!!

Other lady on the phone: Who is this?

Me: Sorry, wrong number.

That was the most embarrassing thing I have ever witnessed in my whole entire life.

***

Laura called me. Actually, it was for Henry. They talked for hours, except I think it was her that did most of the talking.

I didn't get to listen in, though. When I went on the other line it went berserk. I am really spreading my bad luck everywhere.

After the phone call, Henry said he was going out on a date. Aunt Tara started the "my baby is growing up so fast" lecture and she started crying, like little puppy sobs. He is in ninth grade, auntie. He should have grown up a long time ago.

YES!!! He is gone! One down, two to go.

***

Reasons why I hate Uncle Brad

1. He snores.

2. He talks in his sleep.

3. He has no sense of humor.

4. He cracks up corny jokes. No, they aren't even JOKES. They're killer boring.

5. He never laughs.

6. He spits all the time. I asked if he was addicted to chewing tobacco. He denied it. WHATEVER, sucker.

7. He is the father of Henry.

8. He listens to really old music.

9. He is pratically LIVING in the seventies.

10. He is a major uglie.

***

Henry is back. I cannot stand it. He is a really big fag. And by that, I don't mean cigarette.

***

January 3

DARN IT!!! Tomorrow is a school day! HMM I think I forgot to do the ten-page essay for Mr. Richards.

MY ESSAY

My winter vacation was full of

***

Writer's block!!! Perfect timing, THE DAY BEFORE THE ESSAY IS DUE!!! My mom will get very mad.

***

I wonder if Henry is good at essays.

***

MY ESSAY

My winter vacation was full of

MR. RICHARDS IS A FAG!!!

Helen:

No offense or anything, but you have a horrible title. I would like you to change it. Begin the first sentence with something besides "my." I know you can do better.

---Henry

GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! What does he think he is? My English teacher? WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO CRITICIZE MY WRITING? My first half sentence was pretty impressive!!!

I hope he dies from a disease.

Hope I don't catch it first.

***

Stressed big time. I am very tired.

***

Henry the Fag asked me when this essay was due. Lied. Said it was due in February. He didn't believe me, though.

***

January 4

DRAB!!!

My essay got a really bad grade, I can tell. I should have followed Henry's advice. Shows how smart I am.

***

Henry is not gone. He is staying here. Help me!!! Aunt Tara didn't want to blow it with his "big date." "Plus," Aunt Tara added, "Henry's school doesn't start until January 10." Henry beamed. He is SUCH a Mother's Little Boy. And lucky them!!! We have to start school on the fourth...grrrrrr...

***

Vicki's got big news.

***

She let it all out during lunch. She is moving today. She is so busted!!! She's moving to Saudi Arabia. SAUDI ARABIA!!! I cannot believe it!!! From Katy, Texas, to SAUDI ARABIA!!!

We screamed at her. We were very shocked and sorta mad at her for not telling earlier (she had known this for four months.) Anyway, she was very "okay, peoples, who cares if I go to Saudi Arabia," she didn't cry or anything. I don't think she cared. She says she doesn't care if she ever sees her people by her locker anymore. She was very glad. She mentioned something about "Church people" and how some of the boys there were suckers. Oh well. We don't exactly understand some of her habits sometimes.

***

I am not depressed as I though I was going to be. I think I will enjoy the fact she will be gone. She was always obsessed with anime. She kept rambling about it in PE. (That's why she got such a bad grade in it.) She was also very boring.

***

I am actually glad Vicki has gone to Saudi Arabia. We didn't really need her for anything.

***

YAY!!! Vicki is officially gone!!! I don't know why I am glad for that. Well, I'm going to keep it to myself. Pretend I miss her. She was gone exactly one minute ago. Right now: 5:51 PM!!! (Unless, of course, the plane was late. It always is.)

***

Next Chapter: The idiot dream.