Fan Fiction ❯ Everlasting Sacrifice ❯ Melt that which was never frozen ( Chapter 14 )

Disclaimer: If you don't know by now, seeing as how I've mentioned it for the past 13 chapters, I'm not about to remind you… (But I don't own the songs either okay?)

A/N: Warning: Rating may change depending on how this chapter goes from PG-13 to being rated R (due to language mostly)

Warning: This should be super angst and it probably will be the longest chapter… I think I'll divide it into Acts because its so long and I use a lot of different songs.

Melt that which was never Frozen

ACT I

Crystal

Its exam week, but it's not too bad. I mean, I always ace them whether I study or not…which I believe to be the work of my past self somehow… Everything has seemed to be changing lately, and not just with the tournament. I believe something is going to happen, something big, and I don't know what will happen when it comes. I guess people could take that to mean I was afraid of something that might never happen but I'm sure it will.

In a moment, everything can change

Feel the wind on your shoulders

What do I do when this comes? What do I do when what's supposed to happen happens? Do I loose a part of myself? Do I become something I'm not?

For a minute, all the world can wait

Let go of your yesterday

"What do I do?" I asked to the wind, standing near the whomping willow. It allowed me to be near it for some reason and now I stood protected near it, trying to gather my thoughts of what to do. I knew something big was coming, Remus knew it and even Fred and George saw something was coming.

Can you hear it calling?

Can you feel it in your soul?

Can you trust this longing?
And take control

Remus

I would miss Crystal; she was so much more cheerful than Katy had been. She was so much more cheerful and I couldn't imagine…well I could but that wasn't the point. When Katy truly remembered…when she truly realized who she was and all her memories came back to her she would be depressed. Dumbledore wouldn't let her tell Severus she was back, I knew that much for certain and that would tear her in two.

FLY! Open up the heart of yours that wants to hide away

You can shine

Forget about the reasons why you can't in life

And start to try, `cause it's your time

Time to fly

It wasn't that she wasn't already heartbroken. Without memories, she had so many unanswered questions. Without memories, she truly wasn't herself, and I guess that reason above all else was reason enough to find her memory. I lived with her as she used to be, I know her as she used to be. I could handle her, and she knew I cared… that would have to do for now I guess.

Sirius

All your worries leave them somewhere else

Find a dream you can follow

Katy would be coming back soon, I knew it. She'd be back to who she once was. It was a reason for hope and also a reason for dread. She'd be back to herself, but I had yet to figure out that price, there had to be a price, or else she would have been reborn with her memories, right? She would have come back sooner…she would have…she could have protected Lily and James…right?

Reach for something, when there's nothing else

And the world's feeling hollow

I knew it would be a terrible price… Something big was going to happen, and there was nothing I could do. I wanted Katy back, wanted her back terribly, but there was…

Can you hear it calling?

Can you see all feel it in yourself?

Can you trust this longing?

And take control

Severus

Who had I danced with that night? I could have sworn it was my Cat. I dream about it all the time now and I only see her…

FLY! Open up the part of you that wants to hide away

You can shine

Forget about the reasons why you can't in life

And start to try

Forget about the reasons why you can't in life

And start to try, `cause it's your time

Time to fly

Is someone playing a cruel joke…is someone trying to make me suffer? I miss her yes, and I need her to come back true but don't…I don't want…

"I miss you…"

And when you're down and feel alone

And want to run away

Trust yourself and don't give up

You know you better than anyone else

Crystal

"Hey Crystal," Fred said, beckoning me over.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You just seemed so distant, is something up?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Where's George? I hardly ever see you two separate," I said.

"He had to use the bathroom, and I saw you over here staring at the portrait so intently I was wondering if you were okay," he said.

"You're so observant!" I said with a laugh.

"No, but you seemed so distant, I've seen you look like that a lot lately," Fred said.

"Something is going to happen and I don't know what and I'm scared…" I said and felt tears rush to my eyes. I didn't know why they were there but they existed there now and I couldn't hold them back.

"It's okay," he said and I fell into his arms, "It'll be okay, we're here, you do remember that?"

"I know but…" I said and found myself sobbing, "I don't think I've ever been scared before…"

"You don't seem like the type…" Fred agreed.

"I don't…remember!" I shouted through choking sobs.

FLASH

Any moment, everything can change

Feel the wind on your shoulder

"Cat, why are you here?" Severus asked, "I thought…"
"That I left you?" I asked, tears welling up into my eyes, "How can I? How can I stop loving you?"

"How can you love me? You know what I am now!" he said and rolled up his sleeve. It was dark out but I could still see the mark.

"Why did you make this choice?" I asked.

"Why do you wish to know?" he asked but there was something in his voice, something I couldn't recognize.

"You made this choice willingly, no?" I asked, "I won't look into your mind for the answer, I want you to tell me…"
"After the way I was treated at school…you think I want to take any more of it?" he asked, "I want to become strong!"

"You are strong," I said, "You are strong enough for me…"

"You always want to be stronger, right? Well now I can be… you watch!" he said, and then looked away from my teary gaze.

"Then you wish to end your love for me?" I asked.

"End my love…what in the world…" he said and then softly, "I don't want to."

"Then why this?" I asked, "There is more than one way to become strong!"

"Cat, you don't understand!" he cried, "You don't understand that this is just something I have to do!"

"I do understand. I understand suffering, I understand pain. I understand strength and weakness," I said softly, "Severus, I do understand."
"Then what happens now?" he asked, "Where do we go?"
"You made your choice and now I must make mine. And you seem firm in your decision, that's good," I said and walked up to him and he moved back against a tree, "I only hope that I can be firm in mine as well. I will not try to stop you; I will not try to hinder you. You wish for strength and I must be weak then. Severus Snape, I love you and I shall continue loving you, but you made this choice and now my choice was made for me…" I kissed him slowly and softly. Tears fell from my eyes, splashing on my cheeks gently.

"Cat…" he murmured but I hushed him and broke the kiss.

"Goodbye," I said and turned from him.

"Goodbye?" he asked, "How can that be it? How can you say goodbye?" I heard his pleas and continued to walk away, letting my tears fall. I would never speak to him, never see him again, he had made his choice and my choice certain. I could never see him again; I would never allow myself to be with him again. His pleas fell on deaf ears as I continued to walk. Goodbye my love, goodbye. May the winds of fortune bare you high, of that I prayed.

For a minute all the world can wait

Let go of your yesterday

FLASH

I collected myself slowly; picking myself up and putting the pieces I felt scatter back in their place.

"I'm sorry Fred…I have to go," I said and made my way out of the grand hall.

FLY

Open up the part of you that wants to hide away

You can shine

Forget about the reasons why you can't in life

And start to try

The moon shone so brilliantly that night and I sat up on the astronomy tower watching it. The stars seemed dwarfed by its light.

"Can anybody see me? Can anybody understand me? Can anybody help me?" I asked to the wind, "Am I some fallen angel?" I expected no reply and I received no reply. The sky then seemed so void and empty.

Forget about the reasons why you can't in life

And start to try, `cause it's your time

Time to fly

Severus

"I wish you were here," I murmured as I let a restless sleep take me to oblivion, "My love, my life…"

Remus

"It's a nice night, a beautiful sky," I said, "But then again, it seems so distant...like the future…"

Sirius

"I don't care if she'll never be able to love me again, my feelings for her will never change," I said and I curled up and fell into a dreamless rest.

Any moment, anything can change

END ACT I

ACT II

Crystal

Long lost words whisper slowly to me

Still can't find what brings me here

The third competition has begun. The competitors are off in the maze. I can see them pretty well from my seat. Remus is with me again, this time he told me he was here for me, to make sure I would be okay, to make sure nothing happened to me. I had asked him then why he wasn't here for Harry, because he seemed in more danger than I was at the time but he told me danger depends on who it's directed to. I didn't exactly get it but oh well.

"Sparks!" Remus said, "I wonder who needs help?"

"I don't know…" I said, "I hope Harry and Cedric are okay…"

"I'm sure Harry is fine, you told me all he did was look up hexes and curses during exams. It might be Cedric…but he's in more advanced magic than Harry is. I can't say anything about Fleur or that Krum boy; I don't know the enough…" Remus said and I nodded in agreement, "Wait, there's a second set of showers!" I looked and noticed that it was just a little ways from the other set of sparks.

"Two people down and in trouble already?" I asked. I mean, I could see pretty well from up here but there were a lot of bushes to try to sort through to find the competitors.

"I don't think it is them…" Remus said but the worried look never left his face.

When all this time I've been so hollow inside

I know your still there!

"Look! They're both going for the cup!" I exclaimed, pointing and Remus followed my finger and then pressed my arm down to get a better look.

"I can see that," he said, "I guess they both decided on sharing the victory!"

"So it wasn't those two that were in trouble! I knew Harry and Cedric would be okay," I said with a big dumb smile on my face, and then I let it fall.

Watching me, Wanting me

I can feel you pull me down

Pain…sudden pain as Harry touched the cup. It started in my chest and spread across my body. Searing pain, white hot and deep within me. I screamed and people turned to look at me. Tears streamed down my face and then I disappeared from sight, the world swirling around me as I clutched onto my stomach. Even Remus's voice disappeared from me, his shouts of concern lost in this whirlwind. I felt the pain subside, slowly subside and I braced myself against the first thing I felt, it was a tree. Where was I? What the hell did I smell? I looked around and saw some sort of cauldron, surrounded with a few people. Harry…I saw Harry! There was some older man…and a boy's body lay limp next to Harry, who was bound. That was Cedric! Oh god, is he dead? It looked like it oh god! I held my mouth closed to keep from being heard. The cauldron boiled and bubbled and I couldn't hear what was being said but pain began to swell within me again. White hot flashes of something, like the flashes of memory I had become accustomed to seeing.

"No…" I began as memory began to stream into me and I couldn't help but scream, did anyone hear that? Did anyone see me? Could they even see me?

FLASH

"LILY!" I cried as she disappeared from my sight, "COME BACK!"
"Goodbye…please look after Harry…"

"JAMES!" I shouted and he too faded from my sight.

"Take care of your godson, okay? And make sure Snivilus behaves himself…"

"SEVERUS!" I cried, "REMUS! SIRIUS!"

"I told you something would happen," Remus said.

"I will always love you, even if you never return to me the same," Sirius said.

"Cat…my Cat…why did you leave me?" Severus asked.

"I didn't leave you!" I cried, "I DIDN'T LEAVE ANY OF YOU!"

FLASH

Hunting you I can smell you alive

Your heart pounding in my head

I remembered… I remembered everything… Wet hot tears streaked across my face as I remembered… Lily and James…they were really gone, weren't they? Severus… my dear Severus… I missed him… Harry… where was Harry? I looked up to see cloaked figured surrounding the area where I had seen Harry last. I felt a burning. I sensed evil…my eyes glowed red, there was great evil here… Why…why did Lily die? Who took her away from me?

Watching me, Wanting me

I can feel you pull me down

Voldemort, I sensed the Dark Lord Voldemort! There was a break in the cloaked figures and I saw him, he was facing Harry! He was trying to kill Harry!

"You bastard," I said in a voice that was a curse, a voice that was a deadly whisper. I remembered everything… I remembered who I was, what I was. I remembered how I died, how Voldemort had played the love between Severus and I to deliver me my death. I saw in my mind how he had killed Lily, taken James's life and almost killed their son. They almost killed my godson!

"You lowdown rotten son of a BITCH!" I said, raising my voice to more than a whisper, "How could you…how could you?" I heard the song of a phoenix, my song, my tune was different. It sang of vengeance, it sang of revenge.

Saving me, Raping me

WATCHING ME!

"GET HIM!" I heard Voldemort scream and I knew Harry was making his escape.

"How could you?" I repeated, louder. I watched Harry take Cedric's body and take the cup and he faded from my sight.

"He has gotten away Lord," a figure said.

"You rotten bastard," I said, "I'll kill you… YOU took them from me! You took their lives and left me to die in his arms!"

"Is someone there?" Voldemort asked and soon the group looked in my direction. My eyes glowed a blood red, my dragon blood heated up to the highest degree. I wanted him dead, I wanted him to pay.

"You son of a bitch," I said, facing him, "How could you, how dare you! I will rip out your blackened heart!"

"Who is that?" a figure asked.

"Kill whoever it is," Voldemort replied, "This person obviously has no idea who I am…"

"AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH! BASTARD!" I screamed and as green light shot toward me my world swirled before me again, "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU TOOK THEM FROM ME! YOU FORCED ME TO DIE IN HIS ARMS!"

Watching me (AHHH)
Wanting me (AHHH)
I can feel you pull me down (feel you pull me down)

I shouted curses until I felt myself dragged into someone's familiar arms and I began to sob, I began to cry for all the things I couldn't prevent, all the things I didn't do.

"Crystal…its okay, what happened?" Remus asked, "Calm down…"

"That bastard…I'll kill him," I sobbed, "He took Lily from me…"

"Crystal…what happened?" Remus asked a little more firmly this time.

"My name…my name isn't Crystal Umi Riyusaki… It's Katherine Anne Forest/Snape…"

Fearing you (AHHH)
Loving you (AHHH)

I won't let you pull me down!

END ACT II

ACT III

Crystal (Katherine Anne Forest/Snape)

Another day has gone

I'm still all alone

Remus had taken me to the hospital wing so I could recover. I was taken to one of the back beds so I would be less disturbed. Harry was here too, and I could hear the commotion going on as I lay in my bed, wondering… I heard Severus…no, I sensed him enter the room and I sat up. No one was with me; everyone was paying attention to Harry. Remus had to go so he wasn't even here. He said he would've stayed if he could. I knew he would have too. I remembered everything and I felt like I was dying.

"See? It's not as clear as it was an hour ago, but it's still there," I heard Severus say, speaking to Cornelius Fudge, the one that had wanted everyone to forget about me. I was unable to focus properly. I listened with a half mindedness that wandered from place to place. I wanted to see him again, I wanted…

How could this be

You're not here with me…

I heard Dumbledore tell Severus to leave and Sirius followed some time later and I snuck behind the commotion and out of the door, away from the hospital and everything going on. I watched Severus leave and Sirius was following in the same direction until he noticed or probably smelled me more. He came up to me and nuzzled his nose in my palm, and beckoned me to follow him, and he led me to an empty classroom. Once there he became human again and we looked at each other for a long, long time.

"Katy," he said after the longest pause.

"Oh Sirius… she's really gone!" I cried and dove into his arms. Sirius held me against him and braced himself against a wall. He let me cry, he let me sob onto him, he didn't say anything, and he didn't have to.

"Cat…" he began and then I looked up to see him staring out the window, "Its crying blood tonight…" I looked out the window as well and red droplets pounded against the window.

"I want the sky to cry…" I said, "And it is…"

"The last time you had the sky cry blood tears was so long ago…" Sirius said, "Something I wished I would never have to see again…"

"I miss her…" I said, "Why did she die?"

"She gave her life to protect Harry," he said, "Surely there's nobility in that…"

"She left me alone! He killed her and now…" I cried, "And Dumbledore won't let me tell Sev…"

"I know…I know," he said with a soothing voice. We sank to the floor and he held my trembling, sobbing body close to his.

"Sirius…" I murmured and gripped onto his hand, "I never… I never got to say…"

"Goodbye?" he asked with a sorrowful note, "None of us did Cat, we never got to say goodbye either…"

"I'm going to kill him!" I cried and Sirius let out an amused laugh.

"After all that's happened and through all these tears, you still can threaten…" Sirius said, "And you are back now…you… your memory is back?"

"Yes…and right now… I wish I couldn't remember anything!" I wailed and he held me tighter.

"Just cry Cat… I can wait, I have nowhere to be," he said, but I knew it was a pure lie. Dumbledore had given him a job, "Dumbledore knows your memory returned…he knows pretty much everything."

"No he doesn't," I said with a sobbing laugh, "That old coot doesn't know everything… Padfoot, I want to go back to Severus…I want to fling myself into his arms…"

"Shhh," Sirius soothed, "Its okay, you might not be able to now, but I'm sure you'll figure out when the time is right…"

"But what if Dumbledore doesn't let me?" I asked.

"You never obeyed Dumbledore much before, why now?" he asked with a big stupid grin.

"Because it was the way he said it, I think," I said, "The way he said I couldn't tell him when I didn't remember…do you think he'll say the same thing now?"

"I don't know," Sirius said, "I honestly don't know. C'mon, get to sleep now… I actually do have to be off, so just calm down… We can sort all this out when things calm down a bit…"

"But things won't calm down!" I said, "Not now that Voldemort is back!"

"I know… at least not till everyone realizes he's back. Besides, this got you to stop crying, didn't it?" he asked.

"Sirius…would you and Remus…this summer… would you please take me to see them?" I asked, "I want to see… I want to…"

"Make peace? You want to say some sort of goodbye. You want to apologize, right?" he asked, "Sure, I'll be glad to take you. It's something you need to do…"

"Thank you," I said and wiped my eyes with a sleeve of my cloak, "Sirius…thanks…" I let myself be swallowed up into a nightmarish sleep, one that I was more than accustomed to, one that only Severus could take away…

You never said goodbye

Someone tell me why

Did you have to go

And leave my world so cold

Sirius

As soon as she fell asleep I changed back into a dog and snuck back into the hospital wing as quietly as I could, everyone was sleeping by that time and I hurried off onto my mission. Katy was back, that was all that mattered, right? She was suffering so much now… the heartbreak after not being able to be with the one she loved, Severus, for 14 years must be killing her inside. I may not like him but those two did deserve one another. I couldn't imagine Dumbledore restricting her from seeing him, but he always had an angle.

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says…

Crystal (Katherine Anne Forest/Snape)

School had just ended, everyone was preparing to leave. I was all packed up and everything, but I didn't know where I'd be staying this summer. I wanted…I wanted to stay with Severus; I wanted to be by his side. He needed me just as much as I needed him. As all the commotion rang out about me I headed towards the Dungeons. I wanted to see him again; I wanted to be with him.

I had realized something a few nights ago… the blood curse had lessened up on me. Voldemort had put it on me…and there was no way to lessen it or rid myself of it unless he was dead or I had stood up to him, and I guess the curse took getting my memory back as standing up to him, so I wouldn't bleed as often as I used to. I wouldn't loose so much strength… so Severus… Severus and I could have children! We have almost been married… (If he still considers us so) for almost 19 years. We had been married for 5 years when I had died, around the time we wanted children (well me more than him in a way…for the first couple of weeks) and but then again I had received the blood curse of dreams actually 4 years prior so children would have been impossible because if I had become pregnant I would have lost any child that I carried thanks to the damned curse. He never left me though; he remained firm by my side, tending to me every night the curse took me. He said he loved me over and over and he would never leave my side.

"Severus," I murmured, standing near the staircase that would take me into the dungeons and to my Sev.

"Crystal, are you okay?" a kindly voice asked and I turned around to see Dumbledore staring at me.

"It's not Crystal," I said, "Its Katy or Cat, whichever you prefer."

"I'm afraid I must ask you to remain Crystal for a little while longer…" he said, "And you can not go to see Severus…"

"But…why not?" I asked.

"Voldemort has been reborn, which means Severus is once again a spy. Coming back to him at this most crucial time might cause more harm than good," he said, "Do you see my point?" Tears rushed to my eyes, I saw the point, however little a point it was.

That you are not alone

For I am here with you

`Stop crying' I told myself fiercely, I'm not weak like that.

"I see your point…you don't want me getting in the way because you want him to get used to being a spy again, don't you?" I asked, "You don't want me interfering with his work, because I would, wouldn't I?"
"If I know you like I do, yes, that is exactly what you would do," he said, "You would be a distraction…"

"Then why…" I began, "Never mind…"

"I know what gift you have for him too, and that could be even more of a distraction than just going back to him," Dumbledore said, "The first stages are the most crucial, so I would like you to wait. Next year during the school year you can tell him…you can tell him everything. Just not at this moment Crystal, if Voldemort realizes you're here and alive he will harm Severus to get to you…"

"I know!" I said, "I know this… but… I need him… I really need him…" I fought off the tears and sank to the floor.

"Next year Crystal, I promise. You can stay where you want over the summer, but be careful…" he said, "If Voldemort finds out your back before Severus does, and the way Severus finds out is through torture and pain…"

"He'll hate me…" I said, "Feh, fine, I'll keep a low profile from the attention of the ministry…and stay away from Severus… but next year, I'm telling him, I'm going back to him and damnit we're going to have children!"

"You two will be wonderful parents; I'm sure," Dumbledore said with a smile, "Just not at the present time. I do hope this all makes sense. It did as I was considering it trying to find you before hand."

"…" I didn't say anything; I stood up and wiped away non-existent tears and made my way to the door outside.

"And Crystal," he said and I paused, my hand upon the door handle.

"What?" I asked softly, slightly angrily.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I know how much Lily meant to you…" I flung open the door and went outside, not wanting to hear anymore.

"You don't know how much she meant to me," I whispered to the wind once outside. I headed towards the whomping willow, feeling the need to hide in its branches while everyone left for the summer. Feeling the need to cry when no one could see me, because I didn't want anyone now thinking I was weak. God Severus…I miss you so damn much!

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

I went to stay with Remus for a time and Sirius was there too. They fulfilled their promise and took me to see Lily and James. They both held onto one of my hands as they led me to where the gravestones lay. I took the flowers I had picked from Remus's hands and knelt by James's grave.

For you are not alone

I am here with you

"Hey Prongs," I said and sensed Remus and Sirius back off to a distance, Sirius changing back into a dog so he wouldn't be recognized.

"I know…I've been away for such a long time," I said and laid the flowers down, "But I'm here now. I'm okay… I know… I know you were worried, you always were, because Lily and I were so close, you always worried. Your son, he's doing brilliantly… he was in the triwizard tournament, he won it too! Took on a dragon and some Merfolk and then he had to take on Voldemort himself to win, but he did it. He emerged victorious. Yeah, he's back, I know… I promise I'll protect your son, he's my godson after all, I know Lily forced you to name me as such even though I was dead by the time you guys had Harry. She must've known…she always was smarter than me." I stood and brushed myself off and then went to Lily's gravestone. I brought out a small crystal and planted it in the earth. In just a few days, she'd have the most beautiful plant growing; it would have flowers that looked like crystal. Of course, it was a special seed. It took me a long time to turn the crystal I planted into a crystal seed but it would be worth it.

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

For you are not alone, alone, why

"Hey Lil," I began, "It's um…it's been about 14 years, hasn't it… I know…I haven't visited that much in the past 14 but for 10 of them I was really truly dead and then about 4 I was without memory… but I'm here now, you know? Your son it growing up fine… he's just as disobedient as James but a little more sensible like you… but only in some respects. He has your eyes, you know?"

Just the other night

I thought I heard you cry

Severus

I knelt next to my wife's grave.

"Cat, I have a confession… I might have danced with someone else… I was so drunk I think I thought it was you!" I said, "It could've been a dream, I don't know… but it seemed so real… and this person looked exactly like you! I didn't mean to, so I'm going to apologize now in case… when you do come back, not if of course, but when you come back, maybe you won't be mad at me. Listen, the Dark Lord is back…"

Asking me to come

And hold you in my arms

"And so I'm a spy again, just like I used to be. I just hope I'm slightly smarter than before, you know?" I asked and gave a weak smile, "I wish you were here. I mean then I can draw from your strength like I used to. I guess I still can in a way… I promise… your name remains my talisman against the dark. The darkness won't claim me… Just… just come back to me, please? I've been waiting… I'm starting to loose hope, but I still believe… you know I'll wait forever for you, I always will… You are my only love…"

Don't Go, Please just stay, Just stay close to my heart... don't leave me alone

I can hear your prayers

Your burdens I will bear

Crystal(Katherine Anne Forest/Snape)

"And Remus took me to stay with him last year too, did I tell you that? He's gotten better at cooking. And Sirius, he's thought of as the one who betrayed you two to `You know who" but he wasn't the one! It was Wormtail, you know him, right? He's the one who betrayed you…but I guess you should know that by now… seeing everything that's been going on down here from up there… Kinda like what I did when I was dead… but only for a time… and then I couldn't bear to watch anymore… and now look, I'm back…" I said, "I really miss you two!" I let the tears fall from my cheeks and I ran my fingers along Lily's gravestone.

"It's hard… I know it was hard when I died, but you lived on, didn't you? Because of Harry you had a reason to live… And I was brought back… and for 4 years I didn't understand what it meant that you were gone! I didn't remember you at all so how could I have known, right?" I cried, "But now… I do… and I never got to say goodbye… and don't say when I died I said my goodbyes to everyone… it isn't the same! It isn't! I didn't even get to see you in the realm of Spirits; I was kept separate from everyone else! I want to see you again!" I felt an arm come around me and pull me close to a warm body. It was Sirius; he was holding me now, now as I let the tears fall freely.

But first I need your hand

Then forever can begin

Someday, take me with you past your distant gaze…

"Just cry Cat, it'll be alright, just cry…" Sirius murmured, "Just cry…"

"Lily's really gone… she's really gone!" I sobbed and felt him hold me tighter against him, "Sirius…why…"

"I don't know… she's gone now…" Sirius said, "I know how much it hurts…"

"And Albus said I can't… I can't tell Severus I'm here… can't say that we now can have what we were longing for!" I sobbed.

"You can have children now?" Remus asked, "Why, that's the best news I've heard in a while!"

"But…I can't tell Severus…" I sobbed.

"Cat, it'll be okay… you two will get your children," Remus said, "Hey, does that mean I'll be an uncle?"

"Uncle Remus? I can imagine little kids running up to you and hanging onto you and calling you that…" Sirius said, "And then the full moon comes and they simply swat you on the nose and you become as tame as a puppy…"

"They'd probably inherit Cat's ability to hold me human when I'm transformed…" Remus said, "So I could babysit on nights of the full moon and protect them!"

"Geeze, you wouldn't be a good babysitter, they'd prefer Uncle Sirius!" Sirius boasted and I found my tears fading away as they argued over what would happen when I finally had children.

"Well, no," Remus said, "No they wouldn't…"

"How come Harry doesn't call you Uncle Moony and Uncle Padfoot then?" I asked, finding their amusement with children more than enough to distract me. Besides, I had cried enough these past times… I could by okay for now… it would be harder later but right now I cold be okay.

"Harry just knew us later in life…but we know you'll force the kids onto us all the time!" Sirius said, "I wonder what they'd look like?"

"They'd have to have their mother's looks… I shudder to think of them inheriting Severus's looks," Remus said, "And look we cheered her up… I think…"

"Well, I fell in love with Severus…" I began.

"But not for his looks right?" he asked.

"Yes, I did and don't you stay otherwise. Hey, if they inherit his good looks I'll be just fine," I said.

"At least hope they don't inherit his temperament…" Sirius said, "But I suppose our Cat won't let them…"

"Severus has a just fine temperament!" I exclaimed, "Don't tell me otherwise!" I pulled away from Sirius and ended up sitting in his lap and facing Remus.

"Sure, when he's with you, but you should see him all the other times…" Sirius said, "He's acted like a jerk to me for the longest time…"

"That's because you two kept fighting during school and don't think I didn't know about all the curses you put upon one another!" I said.

"He hit me with more hexes than I hit him!" Sirius said, which the moment he said it I knew it was a dead lie.

"And you two better start getting along again," I said, "You know you better at least when I'm within sight, within the same house or otherwise…"

"Not yet…he doesn't know you're back!" Sirius defended and I glared at him.

"You will not do anything to provoke something other than friendly feelings, got that?" I asked.

"How can I provoke friendly feelings when he doesn't have any towards me?" Sirius asked helplessly.

"Kill him with kindness…" I murmured with a sigh.

"I'll kill him alright," he said and I watched Remus roll his eyes.

"I feel like we're all children again," Remus said.

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

"It does… but Lily and James aren't here," I said sorrowfully.

"Don't go getting depressed again! I don't care what it takes but I won't let you get depressed!" Sirius said, "I have a mission!"

"Oh just shut it, would you?" I asked and sighed. Sirius wrapped his arms around me and placed his head on my hair.

"Hey, I know this is a long shot, but could I get another ki…" he began but never got to finish before I elbowed him hard in the gut, "Never mind…uh…" He fell backwards and I got out of his lap as he pretended to be in more pain than he was.

"…" Remus and I watched his movements for a while before Sirius got the picture that we didn't believe him and he sat up again and coughed.

"Anyways… children…" he said.

"Yes, what about the children I'll have someday?" I asked with a gleam in my eye.

"I hope they look like you and that's that. I won't say anymore," he said, "Shouldn't we be going? It is getting late and we should check the mail too… we've been away all day!"

"Feh, fine, whatever…" I said and then as the two headed off I told them I would join them in a minute.

"Lil, James, I do hope you're okay," I whispered, "Wherever you are… I'll be back now… I promise. Goodbye… I really wish you were here…"

You are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

Remus

I knew she'd only be cheerful for a little while longer, so I enjoyed it while it lasted. The next morning came and I made breakfast, Sirius was the first to come downstairs.

"Cat, are you coming to eat something?" I yelled up the stairs.

"Go away! I want to die!" she yelled back and I sighed, and she yelled more "Leave me alone!" I sighed again, I knew the cheer wouldn't last… and now she was back to being herself. Albus, you had better know what you are doing with this…

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

For you are not alone

Severus

Spying wasn't easy, and it seemed to get even harder now than before, mostly because people didn't know Voldemort had returned and he didn't want them to know yet so he was keeping a low profile. I was keeping as low a profile as I could, without seeming suspicious. He knew I was back and he thought I was still a broken man, so he left me be for the most part and my job as a little easier. He had been the one that had killed Cat after all.

Whisper three words then I'll come running

And boy you know that I'll be there

I'll be there…

No name. No words. Even the name of this feeling is no longer visible to me.

I set down my wand that night and got ready for bed. It was cold out tonight for it being a summer night. Cat always liked the cold, she loved snow. She'd always chuck at me as many snowballs as she could before I tackled her to the ground and kissed her soundly. She seemed to think snow forts weren't just for little kids and built one in the park nearby as big as she could as soon as the snow was good packing snow. She would have a family of snowmen on our lawn and they'd have various fruits and vegetables and some coal depicting their face and she'd even use some yarn to make hair to them. She'd say that they were us someday, when we finally would have children of our own. By then she'd sink into my arms and I'd hold her close to my heart.

"Why don't you leave me?" I remember her asking on more than one occasion, "I can't bear children because of this curse and this curse causes you to loose sleep because you're so worried you have to watch over me!"

"I'd love you even if you had worse curses upon you," I would always reply, "Someday we'll be able to have children, we just have to be patient. The right time will come and then we'll be parents…"

"You want to be daddy?" She'd retort jokingly and then kiss me on the cheek.

"Sure, why not, I feel like I'm dealing with a little kid anyways all the time…" I'd reply.

"But this one you get to bed, right?" she'd asked and then we'd snuggle closer and watch out the window as the snow would fall. I missed those times, I really missed those times I had with her.

You are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

For you are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart…

Don't cry on a sleepless night Don't fall down in a cold rain. Take me to the distant future…

She'd come back to me. She made a promise to never leave me, right? I knew she'd be here with me soon, she'd come back, no matter how long it took her. She never broke a promise. I couldn't just give up hope.

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far away

I am here to stay

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

Crystal (Katherine Anne Forest/Snape)

"I'm here Severus…I'm here love…I'll always be here… I always was here… I'll come back to you and when I do; neither of us will be lonely again…" I murmured in my restless sleep, "We'll have that family and then we have eternity…"

For you are not alone

You are not alone…

END ACT III

TBC

A/N: I don't own the quotes the little italicized and underlined quotes are not mine. I pulled them from the Manga Immortal Rain.

Anyways, this was the big, LONG major chapter I was working on… (Now I can work on and finish a few of the other stories I have in the wings…)

I gave you a mighty long chapter so I want a mighty LONG review!

I really thank everyone who stuck with me this far into the story. This has to be the best chapter I've got yet, 3 songs, 3 acts… there's so much happening, right?

I really hope you liked, I know I had a lot of fun writing it!

Read and REVIEW!