Fan Fiction ❯ Evil Daxter and the Goldfish of DOOM ❯ Sea gull sized goldfish! ( Chapter 3 )

Erm, I have nothing to say except this Friday will mark a full year of this fic's existence.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jak and Daxter. Nor do I own references to the South Park episode Spooky Fish. I only own my copies of the J&D games and that is all. Just keep the lawyers away from me, they're looking at me weirdly…*hides*

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Evil Daxter and the Goldfish of DOOM

By Bilbo-sama

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Everyone was running to Sentinel Beach to rescue Keira before she became goldfish (the size of seagulls!) food.

Older Jak: Daxter, bring out the Peacemaker. I'm am going to have so much fun…*grins evilly*

Daxter 2: *wide eyed* Did you drink sake again?!

Jak: *sulks and twitches* How come older *twitch* me gets to *twitch* drink sake?

Older Jak: It's a long story involving Precursor artifacts, evil governments, and my dark side…

Daxter 1: And what's the Peacemaker?

Older Jak: *whips out a rather large gun* THIS.

All: Eeep!

Daxter 2: What was the point of asking me when you usually carry the guns?

Older Jak: I felt like it.

They get to the cliff where Jak and Daxter first found the Flut Flut egg. Keira is cowering on the edge of it and oversized bloodthirsty looking goldfish looms before her with a knife and fork. Everyone is at the bottom of the cliff watching in horror. Or at least Older Jak and Daxter 2 aren't.

Older Jak: *as he loads the Peacemaker* On the count of three, Keira, you jump and I'll fry the goldfish! One…

Keira prepares to jump.

Older Jak: two…

The evil goldfish is about to strike…

Older Jak: THREE!

Keira jumps and lands on Daxter 1 just as Jak shoots. The ray from the Peacemaker vaporizes the goldfish.

Jak: Aren't you *twitch* going to tell us *twitch* what will happen in *twitch* 1002 years from now?

Older Jak: I would but then I would have to kill you…

Keira: *changing the subject* So how did you get the dark side thingy?

Older Jak: Something that involves a lot of Dark Eco and evil govenments…

Daxter 2: You're talking too much!

Suddenly, another villager that never made it to be seen in the game falls out of a tree, dead.

Jak: Oh *twitch* crud…

Uncle Ted: JAAAAAAK!

Jak: *nervously* Erm, yes *twitch* Uncle Ted?

Uncle Ted: You killed another one?!

Jak: No! *twitch*

Uncle Ted: That's okay, my boy. *drags the body to a sink hole where a lurker worm grabs it into the sand* Those worms aren't going to be hungry tonight! *walks off to the village*

All: *confused*

Older Jak: That's strange…

Daxter 2: Yeah, there was little bite marks on him! Almost like the work of a fish!

Sculptor: DUDE! You mean that there's more of those things?!

Older Jak: LOCK AND LOAD! *loads the Vulcan Fury*

Daxter 2: FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T GO KILL EVERYONE!

Older Jak: I was kidding, Dax.

Daxter: Oh. Okay then.

Sculptor: DUDE!

Keira: What? Is there another giant goldfish around?!

Sculptor: No, but I see an evil pet shop in Misty Island!

Daxter 1: *sarcastic* How mightily convenient!

A random thing somewhere in Misty Island: ROAR!

All: *blinks*

ARTSINI: Aw, come on! Freak out already! Don't make me come over there!

ARTSINI 2: But, DUDE! There are sharks in the water! You have to swim through them to get there…

ARTSINI: Shut it, Bob.

ARTSINI 2: Yes, sir…

Daxter 1: Actually that is kinda freaky…

Jak: I say *twitch* we run around *twitch* in circles, screaming!

Random silence…and then…

Older Jak: You need to see a doctor about that twitch.

Keira: *is running around in circles screaming bloody murder*

Sculptor: That looks almost as fun as doing the loopy dance!

Muse: CAN'T WE JUST GET TO MISTY ISLAND TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON?! *very quietly* And speed this fanfic up…

Sculptor: What was the second thing, dude?

Muse: I said you are an idiot monkey head.

Sculptor: What's a monkey?

Muse: I…don't…know…

Daxter 2: Isn't that what Krew was?

Older Jak: No, Krew was a scary floating fat guy…smelled like fish and stewed potatoes…

Daxter 1: Can we go now?!

Keira: Not until two more random villagers die mysterious deaths and we discover something that will be an important plot point later on.

Muse: That's my line!…and the fourth wall creaks…

Jak: *twitch* The what now?

Sculptor: Don't worry, the manual states that muses tend to spout random stuff such as the fourth wall and authors controlling our lives. Usually occurs during the summer months.

Muse: THEY KNOW WE'RE ONTO THEM!

Sculptor: Like that, only sometimes I don't understand what she's saying.

Muse: LIZARDS GO OINK!

Older Jak: It's true! They do!

Jak: Suuure, they *twitch* do…

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Hopefully, I'll finish this by the end of the month…that is, if I don't suddenly get unfunny…meep…

I also think I have gone into another direction plotwise. Hey, you would too if you forgot about an unfinished fic for a year! *sweatdrops*

And now, I'll be off doing other random things. Hopefully not having golf lessons for I'm too lazy to move weekday-wise. Erm, yeah.

Sea ya!