Fan Fiction ❯ Hubba Hubbad Jade ❯ The 2nd story ( Chapter 2 )

Hubba Hubbad Jade 2

~The Sock Puppet Strikes Back~

Once upon a time, in a land called Middle Earth, there was a hobbit . . . wait a second, wrong story again. Sorry, my mistake, it's not Middle Earth and that's not a hobbit. That's a little goblin monkey girl named Hubba Hubbad Jade! Anyway, she had just met up with her friend Jessatron to go have some Spankin' Good Spanky herbal tea at Krillian's house.

Both of them were swingin' through the fungus-like trees when, yet again, they saw Mr. L-man Mustachio. Hubba Hubbad Jade and Jessatron remembered the first time they had met Mr. Mustachio, and they didn't want to go through that little ordeal again (who would want to?). The only difference between this time and the first encounter with Mr. Mustachio was that then he didn't have a little deformed cream puff blob following him. Turns out that little "blob" was a girl, a little mustached girl at that! Mr. Mustachio introduced this mustached wonder to Hubbad Jade and Jessatron as... Laura B.!

He told our (apparently) surprised heroines that he had heard that Hubbad Jade and Jessatron were going to Krillian's house and were going to drink some ferret poop-green herbal tea there. He was wondering if they could bring Laura B. and her two best friends with them. Of course Hubbad Jade and Jessatron yelled in a very loud and manly voice, "NO!" but Mr. Mustachio said, "Great I'll get 'em right now!" And with that he screamed in a high, gay voice, "Cherrista! Kamayo! You had best be a' gettin' down here, ya dikes!"

All of a sudden out of the polluted purple-brown sky came two Ursaring- shaped "people." They landed with a Badaboom! The air around Hubbad Jade and Jessatron became so thick that in order to even scratch it, you'd have to use a diamond-incrusted nuclear, atomic hammer that is used only by the secret service on top secret missions that can only be spoken of in top secret conversations that only the secret service, and no one else, not even the president, can know about!

Once the immensely thick air cleared, what was revealed burned Hubbad Jade and Jessatron's eyes into their eyeball sockets. What they expected was two extremely horrific girls, but what stood there instead was quite the opposite. Instead, they turned out to be two extremely fancy looking she-guys. Cherrista and Kamayo were dressed very formally for two she-guys.

Mr. Mustachio then ran away, turned around and said, "Be careful Peter Cottontail! I hope you sneeze in your pants out of spite for beloved!" As Hubbad Jade and Jessatron pondered this, Laura B., Cherrista, and Kamayo started to scream and howl in crazed voices. It seemed as though they had eaten some very bad Ricardo Potty Burritos, or they were "melting" into each other to form one giant sock puppet monster thingy. Hubba Hubbad Jade and Jessatron recognized this certain sock puppet as ... Ed!!!!

They remembered this laundry reject from their last adventure. He was being verbally abused by Deanna Joltes when they last saw this sock of few words. Hubbad Jade and Jessatron knew they had to do something, so they called upon the power of... The Fellowship of the Yoda!!! The two girls punched, kicked and farted their way through the evil puppet of doom.

Jessatron suddenly got a scathingly brilliant idea. She bounced to the top of one of the mushroomy trees and ripped off a huge piece of it. She then squeezed the chunk into fabric softener and poured it onto the deranged gym sock. Hubbad Jade and Jessatron easily defeated the now snuggly soft piece of laundry and continued on their way to Krillian's shagadelic turf.

Unfortunately, by the time they got to Krillian's house, the ferret tea had gone cold and the fungi pie had become so fuzzy that Hubbad Jade mistakenly thought that the pie was a little smelly dog that had been rolling around too long in the green moss of a tree. Even then, Kitty Kat, ShallowKaye, And Krillian greeted them with a warm hello because they had all learned something that day. If you try to do the laundry without fabric softener, you probably won't sleep with good feelings in you head!The End

(Dedicated to the real Hubba Hubbad Jade: 1992 - 2002)