Fan Fiction ❯ I don't think we're in hobbiton anymore.... ❯ Prologue

Frodo gazed up into the clear blue sky, breathing deeply the smells of the meadow. It was turned out to be a fine day. He was lying here in the meadow with his best friend Sam. Suddenly he heard loud footsteps pounding toward him. Lazily, he lifted his head and saw a bent-over old man with long white hair waddling toward him.

'Uh-Oh' Frodo thought.

"What did you do to my garden you stupid dog?" the bent old man with long white hair said.

"I'm not a dog!!" said Sam.

The old man whom we will name Saruman ignored him. He turned to Frodo. " I've had enough of your dog"

"But I'm not a dog!" Sam said indignantly.

"I'm going to take your damn dog and put him down."

Again, I am not a dog!!" Sam wailed.

"But you can't take my dog-- I mean Sam, Away!!!" Frodo exclaimed. " Everyone needs to romp around the garden once in a while! Especially Sam!"

The old man shook his head. "No. He's done this before and I've had enough of it." And with that he pulled Sam up by his shirt collar and dragged him out of the meadow.

"MR. FROOODOOO!!" Sam wailed, flailing his arms about, but this did not good because Saruman had a strong grip on Sam despite his freakishly girly hands.

"Oh no, what shall I do?" said Frodo. He pranced back to the farm and up to his aunt Bilbo.

"Aunty Bilbo, the bent old man with the long white beard just took Sam away!!" Bilbo turned towards him with that scary gollum face that makes everyone pee in their pants. "Leave me alone! I don't care what happens to your dog!" Pouting Frodo tried to use the power of his REALLY BLUE EYES but to no avail. Pouting harder he pranced off to find the farm helpers.

Frodo sat down on a block of hay and sighed gloomily. The three farm helpers stopped what they were doing and came over to him.

"What is wrong little one?" Boromir asked him. Frodo just continued to sigh. "Frodo?" Aragorn inquired softly.

"They took Sam away!!!!!" Frodo blurted.

"Who?" Aragorn asked seriously.

"That evil old man, Saruman!!" Frodo exclaimed.

"AUCH!" Gimli cried and waved his pitchfork around.

"Well, we would help if we could but Saruman has the stupid law behind him. We can't get Sam back." said Aragorn. Frodo pouted again and looked pitiful, as that's what he's good at. He pranced off feeling sad. As he pranced to his house something tackled him and started to lick his face

"Sam!!!!" Frodo cried happily, hugging his friend. Sam cleared his throat nervously and got off Frodo. "Sorry.." he mumbled, "didn't mean to tackle you like that." Frodo just shrugged. "I'm so glad your back Sam!!! But.. how?"

Sam grinned. "I hit him with my trusty frying pan that I have hidden in my pocket." Frodo hugged his dog--er friend, again and then the two went inside the tiny hobbit hole.

As soon as they were in Frodo's room Frodo said. "Let's run away Sam!" "Why?" asked Sam. "Because...it would be fun?" Sam thought for a moment then said "ok!"

Soon, Frodo and Sam had everything packed up and headed out the door.

"So where are we going exactly?" Sam asked.

"I don't know really, but away from this place. Preferably to a big place with lots of tall people with pointy ears."

Sam nodded. They continued down the dirt road-- Frodo prancing along and Sam hurrying after him. Suddenly they came upon a tiny hut.

An old, not so bent man came out of the hut.

"Hello young whippersnappers. What can I do for you?"

Frodo pranced up to him.

"Hello old man typed person. We're running away because we think it would be fun and because people are being mean to us!"

The man sighed. He took out his 'crystal ball'.

"I see an old lady..ergh, well, possibly a man standing outside of a farm with tears in her e'e. Someone's broken her...his..um, IT's heart."

Frodo snickered. The old man took a different approach.

"I also see IT going through, in IT's grief, a persons weed" collection." Frodo shrieked. "Oh no! we have to get back Sam!!!!!"

"Yes mister Frodo! We must save your weed!!!" and then the two quickly ran back to the farm, but to discover it had been disserted. In the distance they could see a tornado fast approaching.

"Oh no Sam! We must find auntie bilbo and gimli, aragorn and boromir!!!"

They ran (not pranced as a tornado was coming at them) into the hobbit hole and closed the doors and all the windows.

"It'll never get us now mr. frodo." said Sam.

Suddenly they felt a jerk and they were thrown to the floor. They got up and looked out the window.

"Umm..sam, why are we in the air?" Frodo asked. "And eek! Why is that overgrown tin can over there trying to come after us?"

The over grown tin can continued to fly closer and when it was directly in front of the window it screamed like nails on a chalkboard: "AHH I AM SAURON!!"

Frodo and Sam backed away from the window terrified. Suddenly they was another wild jerk and the two hobbits were thrown in the floor and rendered unconscious. A lot of time passed, as the hobbits continued to whirl around and around. Many things passed by the tiny window, including a cow. Finally the house came to a stop.

When the hobbits came to they found that they had stopped moved around in circles. They stood up and walked out the door where they met a scary sight.

"AHHH!!! OMG its all pink and purple and yellow and lots of other colors!!!!!!" Frodo squealed. Sam trotted over to the bright flowers and started to sniff them.

"heel boy, I mean, come here Sam."

Frodo and Sam walked out into the clearing and looked around. Everything was so.. well.. happy looking. Frodo shook his head, his eyes were blurring from all the bright colors. Sam tugged on his shirt sleeve.

"What is it Sam?" Sam tilted his head toward a bush where three small childern stood watching curiously.

"Oh!" Frodo exclaimed. He started toward the children but the giggled and disappeared. Frodo frowned. That was strange.

"Um..who are you?" Frodo asked. One little girl popped out of the bushed by him.

"Munchkins!"

Frodo looked confused. "No you're not, your hobbits!"

The little girl glared as another little kid came out.

"We're munchkins." they yelled.

Frodo put his hands up in defeat. "Fine 'munchkins'" he said, using air quotes, "take us to your leader or whatever."

All of a sudden frodo felt a tug on his sleeve.

"What do you want Sam?" he asked.

"Um, mr. frodo, who the hell is that??" he said, pointing to a very HOT man with pointy ears with a wand and a crown in a pink dress.

The very hot man smiled weakly but shifted uncomfortably in his pink dress.

"Damn the panty hose is all bunched." He made a face.

Sam giggled and Frodo nudged him in the side.

"Uh Hello! Could you tell us where we are? and Who are you?"

The very hot man with pointy ears replied: " Why you are in Munchkin Land and I am Legolas and good witch-elf of the east!"

"But just a minute. I have to get out of this uncomfortable dress." with a flick of his wand the elf-witch was glad in light green spandex pants and a flattering brown tunic.

Frodo looked the elf uneasily.

"Sam, I don't think we're in Hobbiton anymore.."