Fan Fiction ❯ I don't think we're in hobbiton anymore.... ❯ Chapter 1

Jenn: Sorry I took so long to post this, but we were going to work on it and I found this whole chapter that we had written on my drive =^^=

Dani: R&R to tell us that your ACTUALLY reading this (please..)

Chapter 2

Frodo looked the elf uneasily.

"Sam, I don't think we're in Hobbiton anymore.."

"ooooooo" The munchkins.

Frodo ignored them, "Why are we here?" He asked.

Legolas sighed and flicked his blond hair behind his shoulder. "I thought it was pretty obvious" He said.

Frodo shook his head.

"Fine I'll tell you then." Legolas pointed to the house. "You landed on the Dark lord -- see his feet? -- and now, as a lovely parting gift, you get his ring that he used to try to take over Middle Earth." Legolas, then pulled a nail file from his spandex(don't ask where he put it) and began to file his nails.

Frodo stared at Legolas. "And how exactly am I supposed to get the ring?"

Legolos shot a glare at Frodo. "So many questions." he flicked his wrist and the ring appeared on a pretty silver chain around Frodo's neck

Sam started to reach for the ring. "Shinny!" he said.

Frodo glared and said "Bad dog -er- Sam."

Suddenly a big bluey-purpley-green mass of stuff appeared and out of the big bluey-purpley-green mass came a coughing bent-over old man with long white hair. "damn smoke clouds" he muttered.

"AHHHHHHH!!: Sam cried and leaped onto Frodo. Legolas rolled his eyes.

Once the old man had regained his composure, he took out a tall staff from behind his back.

"BEWAAAREEE" he boomed, "For I am the wicked witch of the west! And I want that golden ring around the hobbits neck!! FEAR MEEEEE" He waved his staff around and shot lightening bolts in the air.

Sam whimpered.

"MWAHAHAHAHA-- *cough cough* HAHAH *cough cough* ha. "

Legolas sighed. "Is that the best you can do Saurman?"

Saurman glared at Legolas and muttered something about 'damn kids having no respect for their elders' to himself. He turned to frodo again.

"I will take that ring from you!" he said. He tried to make a grab for the ring, but as soon as he touched it it glowed weirdly and burnt his hand. "OWWW!!!! Son of a -, that's gonna leave a mark."

Sam, gathering all this courage, got off Frodo and went to stand infront of the old wizard.

"No ones hurts Mr.Frodo!" He shouted. "Do you wanna go?!" He put up his fists and stared angrily at Saruman. Legolas let out a snigger.

Saurman looked down at Sam. "You're going to sic your dog on me?"

"I'm NOT A DOG!!!" Sam yelled angerily and bit Saruman's ankle

"AHHH" he yelled in pain. "Damn hobbit!!" Saruman looked around. "Well it seems to me that I will need reinforcements. I will be back!" he snapped his fingers and he was gone.

"What was that all about?" Frodo asked.

Legolas sighed. "That was the wicked witch of the west. He wants his brothers ring, the one that you have around your neck."

"Ok, three things" Frodo said. "Number 1: Why does he want this ring? Number two: If he's a guy, wouldn't he be a warlock or something like that, not a witch, unless there's something about him he doesn't want us to know. And number three: If the guy the house landed on was his brother, does that mean you two are also related, cuz then that means when you got as old as him you'd be all gangly and old and white and ugly and -"

He stopped noticing Legolas's death glare. "Well to answer all your questions.. 1) He wants the ring because it will bring him great power.. AND make him invisible. 2) Well I'm not too sure really why he calls himself a witch. maybe hes a transvestite or something. That would explain the long flowy white hair and the girly hands. 3) Yes we are related and if you make one more joke about it I'll see that your big eyes are pulled out of your head" He smiled sweetly at frodo

Frodo laughed nervously and slowly backed away. "Heh heh heh.....you know what they say...you can't choose your relatives." Legolas sighed and rubbed his temples. "Anyways, you have to keep the ring away from him, as if he gets it he'll rule the world. A definite bad."

Frodo thought for a moment "What if I don't want this ring? I mean, I didn't ask for it and I certainly can't be bothered keeping it away from a mad tranvestite! If you haven't noticed already, I'm a hobbit. As in.. a SMALL hobbit. I can't exactly fight very well."

Legolas pointed to a bright pink road that they magically appeared on. He looked down at it and started to swear. "Pink?!?! What the-when I get my hands on those munchkins!" He cleared his throat. "Ok follow the...grr....bright pink road. It'll take you to meet scarry new friends and to saruman's castle."

Frodo looked confused. "Umm...if I'm suppose to keep the ring AWAY from Saruman, why am I going TOWARDS his castle?"

Legolas shrugged. "I dunno, it just sounds like something fun to do"

"Fun? Are you insane?" He gapped. Legolas shrugged. Frodo, seeing there was no possibly away out of this, turned toward the pink bring road. "Sam! Here Boy! Come on, lets get moving."

Sam, who had been merrily drinking from the town's fountain, came leaping over.

"Ready Master Frodo!" He grabbed hold of Frodo's hand and he pulled him down the pathway.

---------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------