Fan Fiction ❯ Just One Night Out ❯ Without Regret ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 10.) Without Regret

d/c: I do not own Teen Titans. I never have. I never will. I do not own the song Imaginary. Evanescence rocks! R & R. Enjoy.

Introduction:

Beast Boy and Starfire feel the need to feed; it's time for lunch! A little boring chat becomes something else... BTW: Am I the first B.B. and Starfire Writer??? No, right?

Key:

' '=Thoughts

" "=Spoken words

""" """=Music

Day: Number 12

Points Of View Intertwined: Starfire and Beast Boy

Location: Selevence Carnival

Setting: Food court, with park benches and

a Kiosk in the middle

Time: 12:10 A.M.



Grumble, grumble. 'Oh?' Starfire's face turned a tinge of red as her stomach demanded maintenance. She gave Beast Boy an embarrassed look, one of her arms placed behind her head, and a wide grin on her face. "Oop! Heh, heh...that was just my belly. I think we should dine very soon, Beast Boy We did not even enjoy the luxury of breakfast this morning!" B.B. gave her an amused sidelong glance. "Yes, I know; my tummy seems to be communicating with yours, Starfire, and they are instructing us to head for the nearest food stand! Let's go!"

Despite B.B. stating all this, it was another ten minutes until they found everything for a feast to suit their needs; B.B. and Starfire could not settle for a one course meal...especially Starfire, who began picking out whatever she thought looked and smelled nice. 'This is the perfect place to eat out! This section of Selevence Fair is a smorgasbord of flavorful delights! We shall sample each and everyone of them! Yay!'

"That looks quite tantalizing! Let us have some of that! And...oh! We most definitely are going to need some of this to quench our considerable appetite!" Starfire zipped from stand to stand, followed closely by B.B. Starfire handed him platter after platter, giving B.B. a good whiff of the feast to come. 'MMMM...Food...I'm so hungry, I could-huh? Uh oh...' He began to sweatdrop, as he balanced assorted dishes from head to toe.

'Ahh...this is a bit much...,' B.B. thought to himself as he balanced everything with great difficulty. Starfire continued to pick items out, unaware of her friend's dilemma. B.B. began to feel a bit stressed as he attempted to keep every plate from falling off. 'I can't take much more of this!' He hobbled slowly towards his friend, careful not to tip himself over. Starfire heard a strained voice behind her.

"Uh, Starfire? You might want to turn around." She turned to find B.B. slightly hunched, plates balancing precariously from his hands, arms, and two stacked up on his head. "What are you doing, B.B.?" Beast Boy gave her a slanted smile. "Um, a balancing act?" He joked. At first, Starfire simply stared at him, his jest having flown right over her head. 'Why is he balancing all the plates like that? Ah, yes! I see!' The next moment she couldn't help but titter at his appearance. One of B.B.'s eyes grew large while one remained small. 'Huh? What gives? What's so funny?'

'He looks like one of those amusing circus performers! How nice of him to perform for me!' Oblivious to B.B.'s perils, she clapped her hands appreciatively, as if he was doing a balancing act on purpose. "Your display of dexterity is extremely pleasing for me to witness, B.B.! You should try this act more often with the others! I just love it!" 'Eeehhh?' B.B. gawked at her for a second, unable at first to comprehend her meaning. "What do you mean by-!" After thirty seconds past he realized why she was being so happy. 'She thinks I'm doing this for fun!' Beast Boy couldn't help but chuckle at the kind, naive girl before him.

'Well, this is quite problematic to me...but I suppose if I were her I would look quite hilarious.' B.B. grinned wryly at her. "Er, Starfire, I'm glad you are enjoying yourself immensely, but could you please help me hold this stuff? I'm not joking here, it's kind of heavy." It took another ten seconds for Starfire to realize that he wasn't playing; he actually required her help. Starfire put a hand to her lips to stop her chuckling and rushed to his aid. "Oh! I must apologize! Silly me. Here, I will lighten your burden. Thank you, B.B." She promptly took up half of his load. B.B. arched both eyebrows twice at her in a teasing manner, making her look up at him.

"Call me Mr. America!" B.B. joked, mimicking an Arnold Schwarzennegar tone, and followed it up with pantomiming flexing of imaginary muscles. B.B. winked and kissed his bicep, before going into another flexing pose, where he pulled one arm back and had the other pointed at an angle towards the sky. Starfire's eye strayed up and down, examining his physique for the first time.

'He is not too muscled, but he is quite lithe...Kind of cute, actually...I wonder...Oh, do not think about that! That is quite improper for you to imagine!' Starfire covered her face with her hands...but allowed one eye to peek out at him. Beast Boy turned to face her, noticing with delighted surprise that she was admiring him despite the fact he was only playing. B.B. tried not to let his embarrassment show through his facade.

'Oh, god, is this for real?! Is she checking me out?! Well, I'm not too bad looking, if I say so myself. Still, I'm surprised she thinks I'm worth checking out. Definitely a pleasant surprise!' A roguish glint gleamed in his eyes. 'Let's have a little fun, shall we?' Beast Boy began to dance in place, as if dancing at some disco parlor. Starfire looked at him questioningly. 'Uh, B.B., you feeling okay?' "Macho, machoman...I want to be...a machoman!" B.B. began to sing the first parts of an old Villager's song. This incited a new round of titters from Starfire. 'Don't you think that was a little corny?' An inner voice drawled questioningly to Beast Boy. Beat Boy shot back at that thought.

'Hey! I don't care what you think! Starfire seems to like it...and that's all I need to know.' She stopped long enough to lean on his shoulders to balance herself, before her shaking form could cause the entries to fall to the floor. "You are so amusing, B.B. Has no one ever told you that?" 'This is why I like hanging out with Star; I can be a total goof off, use all the lame jokes I have in my bag, and she'll still think everything I do is funny...or at least she won't think less of me...Heh heh.' He looked fondly at her, before getting back to business. "A few people, actually. Aw, nothing to it. Now, let's just enjoy our meal. Shall we?" Starfire grinned at him. "Did you really have to ask, B.B.?"

Day: Number 12

Point Of View: Cyborg

Location: Selevence Carnival

Setting: Outdoor sitting area

Time: 12:35 A.M.

"Heh heh...this day has only begun, and I already used up one whole box of film!" Cyborg carefully stored the good photographs he'd taken into a photo album within his carryon bag. He inspected each one with pride. The first photo in his hand was his most recent; it showed Starfire's triumphant ball toss that sent bottles and the annoying vendor into different directions. "Wow...I never knew that girl had it in her...huh?" Cyborg looked carefully at the photgraph. The bottles were flying...but they did not fly backwards like they should have.

'What?! Most of them are exploding to the left of the vendor!' He frowned to himself. 'How is that possible? Physics don't work out like that!' Cyborg inspected the photo...and caught sight of something green knocking the bottles in said direction. He raised an eyebrow at this revelation. 'So, Starfire had a little 'divine intervention,' with the help of dear Beast Boy...this is definitely going into my album collection!'

Cyborg was sitting on a table at least twenty yards away from Beast Boy and Starfire. He was wearing a large brown trench coat as a disguise, as well as an oversized fedora to hide his cranium from view. 'Ha! They'll never know,' He mused confidently. He had two piles of photographs; one was for discards, or maybe possible candidates, if he saw some significance in them. The other pile was for definitive shoe ins into the collection he would compile to "commemerate" Beast Boy and Starfire's...friendship.

'I've got a feeling that those two are going to make it! Why do I trust this gut feeling? It told me Robin and Raven would work out, and so it did!' Cy tossed a blurry photo into the discard pile, and then flipped a perfect shot into the keeper's pile. 'Huh, this is gonna be a simple and easy task!'Cyborg was so busy sorting stuff out he did not notice a growing crowd of adolescent males looking over his shoulders, gaping at his work.

'Wha-? I stood in plain view of the sun, how come the lights all blocked off?' Cy turned...and stared at the huge mob of Starfire fansboy behind him. At first, he was a little surprised and scared to see them; 'Who wouldn't?' 'Geez, do these guys follow her everywhere, or what?' Cyborg crossed his arms and glared at them, injecting a tone of authority into his voice.

"Do the words, 'get a life' mean anything to you, losers?" None took notice of his jibe, having focused on what he was doing. One of them pointed at his photographs. "Hey! This guy's got good pictures of Starfire! You a fanboy too?!" Cyborg gulped uneasily. 'Uh oh, this can't be good.' "Uh, guys, I'm not selling-!" Cyborg was immediately swamped by over thirty squabbling teenagers looking to get their hands on a little keepsake of their favorite Teen Titan member, Starfire.

"I want this!"

"I saw it first!"

"First dibs, right here!"

"Wow, this looks great!"

"Give me that!"

"Oh, damn it, they'll ruin everything!" Cyborg quickly stuffed the remaining good photographs as well as the discards into his bag. The fanboys were arguing among themselves, fighting over the best photos that they'd managed to pilfer. 'Well, that's good for my situation, at least! They took most of the crappy ones, fortunately.' Cy crawled out from between their legs and ran off as fast as he could. He dashed off, not looking back, knowing it would only be a matter of time before the fanboys would realize he'd gone. Cyborg did not dare look back; he simply charged ahead without even looking.

'Gotta go fast, gotta go fast, gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster!' Cyborg sprinted until the mob of fanboys were out of sight in the distance. 'Yeah! I got away from that pack of geeks! Wahoo! Now, back to business-!' Cyborg slapped his face in frustration, realizing one error he'd made. 'I didn't even look where Beast Boy and Starfire left off to! Now I gotta go find them again, and avoid those fanboys! This day is not going to be as peaceful as I hoped! Urgh! Back to work!' Cy set out once again to fulfil his quest. He paused all of a sudden, realization setting in. 'Uh oh, those guys must now Starfire's in the park. I have got to prevent those morons ruining this day for Star and Beastie!" Cybor ran at double speed, knowing it would not take long for the fanboys to find the pair.

Day: Number 12

Points Of View Intertwined: Starfire and Beast Boy

Location: Selevence Carnival

Setting: The Kiosk

Time: 1:35 A.M.

"So...how was your day so far?" Starfire looked up at Beast Boy. 'That was the first thing he has said since we began eating our lunch. And was that a tinge of nervousness I heard in his voice?' She knew he was trying to start a conversation, when he had absolutely no idea how to. 'Well, his company sure is welcoming.' Starfire munched on a carne asada happily. "So far I have had a wonderful day. I have never tasted these foods before...how come the last time we went to the fair they never had this stuff?" B.B. shrugged, sipping his Mountain Dew soda at leisure.

"Not sure...but it's been almost two years since we went, Star. Alot can change in that amount of time." Starfire flinched slightly at this. 'I remember having gone on that contraption they called a Ferris Wheel that day...Robin and I were sharing cotton candy together...it just feels so long ago. Yes, alot has changed...will I?' Beast Boy continued to talk, but she paid little attention to his words. She was looking straight at Beast Boy, studying him intently.

'Apparently he has changed; he loved Raven, I knew he did. It was obvious to us all...and maybe Raven liked him, to a certain extent. It is possible he still has feelings for her, but he seems to have...gotten over her. I think he likes me...he does not love me yet, but he is interested in me...how does he keep smiling, even after realizing Raven was never going to be interested in him? How does he get over the fact that he was just a little too late to speak up, to tell Raven truly what he felt?'

"Ahem. Um, Beast Boy?"Starfire cleared her throat gently. Beast Boy looked up expectantly, a slight smirk on his face. 'Whoo, I was afraid I'd end up boring her to death with my conversation subject of video games!' He thanked the high powers above for this sign. He leaned forward and placed his hands under his chin, looking straight at his companion.

"I was wondering when you would speak up. I was afraid I would be doing all the talking today; even I can get tired of being a motor mouth! Go on, Star, you've got my undivided attention." Starfire felt akward asking him a personal question. 'I do not wish to remind him of those feelings of hurt...but I must know how to handle this feeling.' She looked down at the floor as she spoke.

"Beast Boy, I am about to ask you...something. It has to do with your feelings for Raven." Here Beast Boy smiled, but his eyes looked a little misty. He chuckled halfheartedly. "Go on. I'll answer what ever question you have. You are my closest friend; I won't get mad. I promise." Starfire's eyes strayed to her shoes, which were making absentminded patterns on the floor. 'I will be direct, that way we will not have to linger to long on the subject,' She decided.

"After Robin and Raven got together...how did you get over...your loss?" Beast Boy whistled softly. 'I knew she was going to ask a big one, I just didn't figure it to be something...this close to home.' He sighed, and put his hands to his head, trying to control his thoughts. 'Whooo, here comes the misery again...must not cry, must not cry.' Starfire kept her eyes diverted, looking penitently downcast.

"I am terribly sorry for asking alot of you, but I wish to hear how you overcame that emotion...because someday I will most likely have to do the same. I just want to hear your experience, so I may learn from it. I know it is alot to ask from you; I will make it up to you in the future." B.B. looked up at her with a rueful smile. He bit his lips, placed his hands on the table. "Guess there's no way around it, eh, Starfire?" Looking into his sad eyes only made Starfire feel like joining him. "Have you...ever told anyone else?" B.B. couldn't even reply verbally to that. He shook his head, eyes cast down.

"Oh no, please do not cry!" Starfire was unsure how to handle the situation. 'Oh, look what I have done! I made his enjoyable day...into one of mental anguish! What should I do? How does Robin do this?' Starfire thought for a moment, and remembered how Robin would have handled this. She got up from her seat, and went around to his side, until she was sitting right next to him. Beast Boy's eyes were closed, but stray tears were already falling freely. He was still smiling, but his voice came off as low and hoarse.

"You want to hear the truth of the matter, Starfire?" Starfire looked pityingly at him. She put an arm around his shoulders. "I withdraw my question. It is hurting you too badly. It was not my place to ask-," B.B. placed two fingers to Starfire's lips. "It's okay. It'll be better for me once I've finished...I never told anyone simply because I thought I could handle it on my own...Obviously, I cannot. Besides," His eyes opened, the tears still flowing, "I will feel at peace once I've told you something I'd kept bottled up for so long."

Imaginary

"""Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming,

Cannot cease for fear, of silent nights...

Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming,

The Goddess of Imaginary Light..."""

Starfire couldn't help herself. Whether it was their shared sympathy of mental anguish, or the fact that she was actually falling for him, she did not know why she did her next action. She turned Beast Boy to herself, and hugged him close to her, wrapping her arms around his waist, leaning her head into his shoulder. At other times, he would not have accepted her comfort; he would have said that guys like himself were strong enough, physically and mentally, to handle any challenges without breaking a sweat or shedding a tear.

"Huh, yeah, right. Look how it served me." Right now, that was the last thing on his mind. Beast Boy desperately gripped her waist tightly, and buried his face into her shoulder, releasing his past grief. 'I don't care for my stupid pride...who cares about it if it means holding yourself back, being afraid to show others your own anguish?' Starfire began to stroke his back comfortingly, closing her eyes as she did so.

"""In my field of paper flowers,

And candy clouds of lullaby...

I lie inside myself for hours,

And watch my purple sky fly over me..."""

'I feel like I am absorbing some of his pain, poor thing,' She thought, her own tears beginning to fall, as her friends body was wracked with sobs. Beast Boy clung tightly to her, like a toddler clings to its mother when it doesn't want to be left alone. He didn't care anymore who was watching; he didn't care who was listening, either; all he wanted, was to rip open his torment, and finally seal it, so he could be properly healed. And this time, Starfire would be his healer.

'Physical wounds can be overcome alone...but now I realize, wounds of the mind can only be fixed with the compassion of others.' They stayed like this for a long time, even as hours past them by. Beast Boy's grief slowly but assuredly poured itself out...until he felt he was able to talk again. "Starfire?" She looked up at him. "Hmmm?" He gave her a wan smile. "You make me feel safe...safe in this world, and safe to be myself...any one ever tell you that?" His voice was still weak, but at least it had a little bit of Beast Boy's charm in it. She smiled back sadly at him. "No, but I am glad to hear it."

Beast Boy wiped the last of his tears, and looked Starfire straight in the eyes. His expression was quite serious, which was uncustomary of himself. His tone was confident and calm as he related himself to her. "You trusted me with your emotions, and I will trust you with mine. You asked me how I got over my feelings for Raven." He smiled lopsidedly at her, and shook his head. "The truth is, if you love someone that badly, you really can't. People have told me that you'll get over it, or that you'll find someone new. Those statements are partially true...but in my experience, no matter how hard I try, I cannot." Beast Boy tried to wipe away his tears, and stopped himself. Instead, he allowed another tear to fall; this would be the only time he'd allow himself to cry in front of anyone.

"""I linger in the doorway,

Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name...

Let me stay, where the wind will whisper to me...

Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story..."""

'Just this once, I'll give myself this small mercy.' "Even when I am in love with someone else, even when I'm happily married to someone else, Raven will still own a small part of me; whether she earned it or not, that is not my point. I give it freely for her to do whatever she wishes to do with it. Yeah, I still love her...but I can't do anything about it. Part of being in love with someone isn't about your own happiness; it isn't even about actually being with someone; it simply is caring for the person, and doing what makes the person your love happy, no matter how much it hurts yourself." Starfire brushed the tears from his face with her hand. "Aren't you being too selfless? I mean, why should you love someone who won't feel for you?"

Beast Boy chuckled softly, and paused to brush a stray strand of hair from Starfire's eyes. "Sometimes, you don't consciously choose to love someone. You'll like them as a friend at first, but not truly realize why you befriended them so. At the beginning, you'll think, 'This person is cool to hang out with,' or some other excuse to tell yourself why you feel connected to the person. It may take a while to recognize your own feelings, or it may take just a spur of a moment. If you can identify the feeling immediately, you're lucky; you can choose where to take it, and you are in control."

"But if it takes you so long to acknowledge the feeling, then it is probably too late. By the time you do," He shook his head, "You cannot take back your own feelings, or deny yourself those feelings. You will have no real choice; your heart will have already chosen for you. Your own feelings trap you, and hold you down. I learned my feelings much too late, and so I had no where to go, but forward. In my case, I like to imagine that I had a chance with Raven...I'm still hoping...but wishing on a star that is much too high will only give yourself pain. At least, for me, that's how it always has been." He sniffled audibly, but his tears were all dried out, his pain alleviated for a moment. He smiled faintly at Starfire. 'Well, at least one person in this world knows what I'm going through.'

"""If you need to leave the world you live in,

Lay your head down and stay a while...

Though you may not remember dreaming,

Something waits for you to breath again..."""

"Thanks for listening, Star." Starfire looked up at him with surprise. "I should be the one thanking you. You gave me a secret for me to hold, as well as sound advise." Beast Boy's smile grew genuine. "Then we are even!" They chuckled at one another, content in each others company. "Starfire...Do you trust me?" Starfire nodded readilly. Beast Boy leaned himself forward. Starfire was unsure what he was doing. "Beastie, what are-!" B.B. whispered into her ear. "Close your eyes." Starfire looked into his eyes, and nodded.

'I trust him. Here goes.' Starfire obeyed his command, and awaited his next action. 'What is Beast Boy up to?' Her heart began to race with anticipation. B.B. cupped the sides of her face tenatively, admiring her contours. 'Starfire...should I...? No, too soon...wat, I'll give a preview version!' Beast Boy leaned in once more...'Hey, Starfire's lips are pouted! She thinks I'm going to...? Heh heh...that can wait, my dear.' Beast Boy placed a soft kiss on Starfire's forehead. He pulled back, and bashfully began to play with his gloves. "So...how was that? My token of gratitude for this moment." She blinked rapidly, placing her hands to her heart to stop its beating so quickly.

"""In my field of paper flowers,

And candy clouds of lullaby...

I lie inside myself for hours,

And watch my purple sky fly over me..."""

'Oh...wow.' "Beast Boy? Why did you do that?" She blushed a light pink, causing Beast Boy to look away in embarrassment. "You've granted me the peace I've always wanted...always needed. You were the only person who was able to make me feel safe...and secure enough to release my grief...and finally let my past sorrows to rest." He looked back up at her, and touched foreheads with her. "Only you." 'Awww.' Starfire squeezed B.B.'s shoulder. "Thanks." 'What a beautiful moment this is...,'He happened to look down at his own watch, and his eyes bulged out considerably. "Oh shoot! Look at the time! We should really should get going!"

Starfire nodded dreamilly, still feeling that last sensation. "B.B.? I am not just having a wonderful day today; I am experiencing an absolute, perfectly good day today, thanks to you...let's hope it gets better!" Beast Boy winked at her as he took her hand. "Guess what? For me, you already made my day!" They grinned at one another, gazing into one another's eyes. Star broke the gaze to smile teasingly at Beast Boy. "Race you to the nearest rollercoaster ride!" Starfire challenged. "Good idea!" And with that they raced off to join the crowds of people enjoying the great outdoors. All thoughts of pain, regret, and sorrow were shoved to the back of their mind. Sure, it still hurt; but with each other to alleviate the pain, they'd move on...and live life the way they should; without regrets, and with high hopes.