Fan Fiction ❯ Karam Coma Part One ❯ Part One ( Chapter 1 )

Karna Coma

A Random Tale Of Oddness

By Sarah Maguire,

The Lactost-Intolerent Eater Of Cheese

 

 

 

Disclaimer: Shasta, Ceres, Taigo, Strongbad and all original characters are property of Sarah Maguire (ie: moi) and thus,

should not be used by anyone without the creator's express permission.

If you would like to archive this or any other of my fiction works, or ask to use any of the characters featured here,

please email me for details at:

shasta_mac_nasty@hotmail.com

 

Thank you and please enjoy the fiction! =^-^=

 

 

 

 

 

Slowly rubbing the dust from my cracked, insomia-ridden eyes, my mind barely regiestered the shrill cry of the schoolbell, signalling the end of mass and of the five misery-soaked years of pure torture that was known as Christian high school.

As the graduation ceromony drew to a close, I awoke from my bordom-induced erotic fantasies, bewildered and confused. What just happened?

Blinking, I stood up,dusting lint from the horrid green tartan of my skirt, a symbol of five years of conformity. I stretched, feeling my shoulder blades crack and creek painfully behind pudgy folds of sallow flesh, rippling down my back like ridges on a Walnut Whipple..

 

Mmm, chocolate, I thought, my mouth watering…..

 

Shaking my head, I sighed in annoyence, remembering the diet club weigh in tonight and silently rueing the day I joined the cursed Unislim club, with their tortureous eatting regemes and merciless stance against anything remotely unhealty.

Urgh…how I dreaded this evening…as I did most Tuesdays…but still, I pushed myself to get over it, knowing that in due time, my body would reep the benefits of the formaldahyde-pickled beetroot forced into it each night.

 

As the P.E hall quickly emptied of blue and green tartan- clad bodies, I sat alone on the old wooden bench, staring down at my hands, fascinated by the countless lines and scratches that weaved across the smudgy, charcol-stained palms. Where had all this time gone? I pondered. Five long years…. Five years of being teased, riduculed and made to feel inediquette, all flew by so quickly…how did I survive it all?

 

I should've been happy, to finally feel the warmnt of freedom , of the sunlight as I emerged from the darkness of my high school years….but as I sat, staring down at the veined, translucent tendons, already turning wrinkled from years of artistic abuse, I could only feel a strange sort of emptiness, of unfufillment in my young life..

Maybe it was because I had no friends to celebrate this rite of passage with, no-one to high-five or hug in triumph of my survival…all I had to call my friends were meer voices inside my head, unreal and untouchable…

 

Nothing more.

 

With a deep sigh, I slowly got to my feet, the heavy rubber soles of my worn black Dockers clacking against the hard gynasium floor for the last time. I would'nt miss it one bit, happy to leave behind the dodgeballs that were constantly thrown at my enormous frame…to leave behind the cold, unforgiving walls of the dressing rooms, where I dreaded each shower time, ashamed of my rolls of fat and of the names they called me…

 

No..no more drama….no more tears… I'm living my life loud, happy and free….away from all my fears.. I thought, remembering a line in a poem I'd written many years ago, now forever etched upon the stony walls of the toilet cubicles for future outsiders to enjoy.

Adjusting the strap of my raggy, tattered khaki backpack, I exitted the house of pain, leaving behind my woes and worries as I stepped out into the harsh, glaring sunlight….

 

At least… I THOUGHT it was sunlight….untill I was hit with a sheer, mind-numbing pain, the huge rumble of metal and tarmac roaring over my head…..then, darkness.

 

Nothing more.

 

I seemed to float, like a bubble in a lava lamp, within a dark, empty void. I should've been scared, but oddly, I was'nt…was I even alive, I wondered?

 

Had that beer truck killed me?

 

Is this heaven?

 

Where-ever I was, I did'nt like it…it was'nt creepy…it was just…empty…kind of like my life in a way..

 

My life.

 

It flashed right before my eyes as I floated, my tartan skirt billowing in an invisable breeze, my unkempt hair tangling itself attop my head..

 

My humble bungalow home in Dublin…the sounds of the airport nearby as I struggled, a young girl of six, to sleep in a lumpy bed…the wail of an ambulance as I gasped for breath, my lungs screaming out in pain…my father's harsh, cutting words as he kicked me from his house and out of his life…..so many painful memories came surging back to me that I could hardly take them all in, my breath fast and usteady as I struggled to breathe.

I remembered my first crush, his floppy black hair swaying in his dark eyes…..blank like the void around me…hear the playful yapping of many canine companions over the years…and my own loneliness as I stood, ignored by all, in the middle of the playground with only my tears for company..

 

 

“NANI DA?!”

 

A high pitched, girlish voice somewhere over my head snapped me back to reality-or something like it..as I blinked against the harsh light above, I noticed the familiarity of the voice. My first thought was: Winfred Burkle? Have I gone mad? Or have I been watching too much television?

Slowly I sat up, feeling my stomach lurch in pain as I did so. Moving a hand to rub my aching head, I found, to my supprise, that there was soft, dewy grass beneath my palm, cool and moist…..pleasant to touch.

 

My brow furrowed. There was no grass outside the school building…only concrete and unfinished metalworks….had the crash thrown me into a field somewhere?

I blinked, feeling blood sting my eyes…it was here I realised that my contacts had fallen out, blurring my vision and making my surroundings strange and alien to my unfocused eyes.

 

“Ugh…where….where am I?” I managed to groan, my gruff, grainy voice, born from years of living with three chain-smokers, sounding hoarse and alien to me. I could taste blood in the back of my mouth, metallic and delectable…yet, at the same time, strangely inviting..

 

“Are..are you alright? “ the woman's voice sounded again, worry and fear within the gentle tones. I felt a small hand touch my own and jumped, scooting back blindly into the tall, green blur of grass behind me.

Something was'nt right here…but I could know for sure unless I had my glasses back…

 

“Here, let me help you up..” the mysterious, oddly-familiar voice was kind and quiet and again, I felt a tiny hand around my own. For some inexplicable reason,I felt I could trust this person. There was something about her I could'nt place…something that felt like de ja vu…

With supprisingly little effort giving my bulky frame, I found myself pulled to my feet by this shapeless blur before me, a mixture of peach and fuschia tilting to one side, as though to look at me curiously.

 

“You scared me. Passed out in the grass like that…” she whispered, her unfocused face fixed in what I could only guess as being a look of bewilderment. Blinking again, I rubbed the blood from my eyes and forehead and smoothed out my torn, grass-stained jumper, navy smudged with marroon..

 

“Sorry..” I mumured, patting myself down in the hopes of perhaps finding my glasses upon me. As luck would have it, I felt a distinctive tubular shape in my skirt pocket, the little case containing my precious eye glasses. With unnessicary haste, I pulled it out, causing bubblegum wrappers, pencils and keys on novelty chains to come tumbling out in the process. But I did'nt care. I was just happy to finally be able to see again.

 

Pushing the thin, purple oval-shaped frames up my nose, I smiled softly as the world focused before me….only to let out a short, sharp shriek of shock as I looked upon my rescuer.

 

I could've fainted.

 

Standing before me, clad in a soft blue tunic dress, her fushia pink hair unkempt and wild in the soft breeze, was Shasta Musashi.

 

The prominent voice inside my head…now flesh and blood, exactly as I envisioned her, standing before me as real as the nose on my face. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief behind my glasses. No, only a lookalike, I thought incrediously, marvelling at the sheer ridiculousness of the thought. Voices could'nt manifest themselves…could they?

As I stared, unblinkingly at my creation, I started to believe they could. She was everything I dreamed she'd be and more:

 

Her voice, light and innocent, reminded me vaguely of Amy Acker, but everything else….my own vision of perfection. A small, slender body, so unlike my own, stood patiently in the tall grass, green streaks of fauna marring her light blue sundress. Her hair, the exact colour of pink bubblegum, was loose on her tanned shoulders, falling in soft, gentle waves that could only have come from plaiting the night before, a floppy, wavy fringe half-hiding her face…

 

….her face…so like my own, but so much prettier…

 

She had my eyes, emerald green and flecked with gentle blue yet they glinted with a free-spirited curiousity, devoid of worry and strife.

Her nose, like mine, was perfectly straight and cute like a button, beneath which, my own bee-sting lips rested in a curious smile, her cheeks radiant with a summer blush.

I was staring into the eyes of myself…of the woman I desperately wanted to become.

 

“It's alright..” she said, in that soft, compassionate tone of hers, matching her personage perfectly as she studied me curiously. I flushed pink, suddenly aware of my mountainous piles of flab and quickly adverted my gaze, feeling myself shrink in my uniform.

“Ummm….would you like to come inside? You don't seem badly hurt, but …uh…I'd just like to check..”

 

I swallowed a lump back in my throat, too stunned to speak. Just how far did the rabbit hole go, I wondered? Through some inexplicable medium, my legs found their feeling and moved animatedly, following the fushia haired woman, the one who, up till now, had only ever appeared in my artworks and fictions.

To see her, living, breathing in the flesh… I could'nt describe it…

 

She lead me through a sleepy little village, dotted with hundreds of tiny one-storey houses and market stalls, the occasional high-rise apartment building scraping the evening sky. I recodnized it instantly as Fujitsu Falls, the quiet suburban neighbourhood on the outskirts of Tokyo where, in many unpublished drafts, I had sculpted her a cosy little apartment, on the top of the tallest hill….and by far the most elegant.

 

As I stepped inside the screen-panel door, my heart began to race, overcome with amazement as my eyes roamed over the magnolia walls… the feather-stuffed corner couches placed around the huge television…the door-less arches leading into the kitchen and corridors..the double glass doors leading onto the balcony, to the magestic view of urban Tokyo, the orange sun sinking slowly into it's watery resting place over the rooftops, lighting up the sky with rich tones of gold, silver and orange. I had never in my wildest dreams seen such a sunset….it was so dream-like…unearthly… but it was real.

 

It was so very real and as I basked in the diminishing warmth, I knew now and then that I was in my own personal heaven…

 

“What is your name, if you don't mind me asking?” Shasta queried, causing me to pull away from the hypnotic sunset, my emerald eyes upon hers as she stood before me, barefoot on the sheepskin rug.

Composing myself, I took a seat on one of the couches, relishing the feeling of the goose feathers mould themselves to my posterier. I could get used to this.

 

“I'm Ceres.” I said quietly, struggling to keep my voice steady as she looked upon me with curiousity. My hands twitched nervously, the chunky digits interwining and cracking loudly as I pulled them, something I always did when nervous. No wonder my hands were so worn..

 

Shasta smiled and bowed polietly, inclining her head to the kitchen beyond the archway.

“It's nice to meet you. Would you like a cup of tea?” she said pleasently, her eyes pure and unscrutinizing.

 

I found myself transfixed by her face… by the soft lines of her jaw and eye-sockets, the curves of her lips and her barely-there cheek-bones. An olive canvas I could loose myself in for hours, just mesmerized by this living, breathing incarnation of my inner most thoughts.

It was a strange feeling… one I could'nt describe with meer words. I suppose, in a way, it could be likened to that of a new mother, seeing her newly born child for the first time. This thing..this PERSON once lived inside of me, deep inside my mind and only now, had I laid my eyes upon her.

It was so surreal..

 

Nodding, I got up from the couch and followed her to a warm, inviting kitchen. Small but cosy, the walls were a spicy shade of terracotta lined with a rich, cobalt blue and contrasted perfectly against the untreated pine of the shelves and cabnet units, little assorted pottery jars of various shapes and sizes giving the kitchen a homely, relaxed atomosphere. I practically collasped into a cushioned dinner chair by the window, my eyes taking in the sights of the spices and herbs suspended amongst pots and pans from the ceiling rack….a canopy of green and grey, shimmering against the soft overhead lights.

 

There was a delicate scent of apples, cinnamen and pecan in the air… doughy and mouthwatering, tantilizing my nostrils. She must have been baking, I thought to myself, suddenly feeling my stomach growl in hunger. It felt like an eternity since I last ate…

Watching the back of her as she filled the kettle with water from the expensive-looking chrome sink, my eyes drifted to the view outside the window. Exactly as I'd written it: Ocean.

 

Nothing but pure, endless ocean that stretched on for a million miles, the little wood decking outside the glass-panelled door cast in dark shadows as the sun dipped into the shimmering waves, glowing orange with the fading light. I smiled broadly, watching the majestic orange sphere sink into the sea for another day.

 

A perfect world…a paradice for the eyes…this was Heaven. And I had created it. I knew that now.

Everything was exactly as I'd imagined, from the perfect placement of the fruitbowl on the table before me to the little blanket-lined box by the ficus in the corner where I knew Shasta's pet dog, a Japanese Spitz named Buchinko, would be sleeping tonight.

 

Closing my eyes as a wave of peace washed over me, I was suddenly reminded of an old quote by Razor Knight, a fellow member of the MM.org's message boards and something of a philosopher (in my opinion at least..)…

 

“Astronauts can visit perfect worlds, but only a writer can create them....”

 

 

The short, sharp hiss of the kettle snapped me from my thoughts, jolting me back to the cosy little kitchen with it's terracotta walls and sandstone floors. Shasta was now seated before me, her elbows resting on the smooth pine of the table, mug of mint tea in hand and blowing away the excess steam.

“So, Ceres…I have'nt seen you around here before.. “ she queried, peering over the rim of her steaming mug at me with those big green eyes of hers. I flushed pink, adverting my gaze to the mug she'd set before me.

 

I wondered what to tell her. She'd no less think of me as a lunitic if I told her the truth: That I was an anti-social, schizoprenic, clinicly depressed seventeen year old writer from the buttcrack of Dublin who, inexplicably, had wound up inside her own little fantasy world.

Even in my mind, it sounded stupid…so I did what any other writer would do in my situation: I pulled an excuse out of my ass..

 

“Er…I'm new.” I said bashfully, my cheeks burning red; “…J-just arrived here yesterday..”My heart was pounding violently in my chest and I could feel my lungs tighten as an bout of hyperventilation suddenly began to claw at my being. I forced it back, quickly swallowing a mouthful of the steaming hot tea and struggling to regain my composure. If television served me well, even the slighest change to the time-line could have catastrophic effects…

 

“Oh! Well, welcome to the neighbourhood!” Shasta chimmed, smiling with her eyes closed in an anime sort of way. I could'nt help but grin. She was so animated and chirpy…a free bird who followed her heart. As I sat in the kitchen, talking in casual conversation with the fuschia haired woman, my mind began to wander, curious as to what other supprizes this strange, enchanting new world would have in store for me.

 

Needless to say, I did'nt have to wait long to find out….

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

I was leaning against the smooth pine railings of the balcony over the drive when I heard it: the unmistakable roar of a Harley Davision tearing up the tarmac of the blackened road below. Cranning my neck, I caught sight of a leather-clad figure, dressed all in black, pull into the spacious cobbled driveway.

Curiousity and confusion clouded my being. Funny… I don't remember writing about a character with a motocycle…my brow furrowed at this, a hand reaching up to touch my bottom lip in thought.

Odd…very odd..

 

“Strongbad!” I heard Shasta's chirpy voice come from the drive and as I leaned over the balcony rails for a closer view, I felt all colour drain from my face.

That name. Chaos incarnate.

How I still shiver to this day, remembering the sheer torture of trying to write his `witty' dialogue, my body plagued by writer's block untill, reduced to tears, I pushed him back into the dark recesses of my mind to incubate…

But now he was there…so close I could practically smell the pungent scent of Brutt on his skin…the living embodiment of the words `on hiatus'.

I felt my lips curl into what I was sure was a glare.

 

Strongbad…the source of all my ripped up journals, of coffee-stained sketches and broken floppy disks. I could've killed him..I really could..

Filled with quiet rage, I retreated inside, stepping once more into the guest room of the cosy little beach house.

A simple little lie (that I was backpacking across Japan) brought me one week's stay.. one week to tunnel deep down the rabbit hole… but as I watched the huge, leather-clad bear of a man dismount his motorcycle, I silently wondered just what I had gotten myself into..

With a shake of my head, I let a deep sigh escape my lips and walked animatedly to the large mirror lying motionless in one corner, the dimming light gleaming off the silvery pane.

 

A listless woman stared back at me, emerald green eyes piercing out beneath shaggy, unkempt tangles of hair, auburn and copper-blonde in colour but for pitch black roots, bleached at the edges. I twirled one of the shoulder-length knots around my index finger, feeling it slip between the chubby digit and sway almost hynoticly, brushing against my cheeks…against the hollows of my face.

 

My face.

 

The only part of me I held some affection for. Here, my body had reeped the benefits of the beetroot diet, my cheekbones high and promenent beneath sallow, milky-white flesh that flecked and chipped along my hair-line. My eyes were sunken in, almost hang-doggish in nature and gave me a strange, vampiric quality to my being as they stared, vacent, from hollowed sockets lined with black koal.

 

Smudges of dirt and blood still clung to my skin and as I continued to play with my hair, I could feel dried clumps of dull marroon slowly twist the dyed strands into the makings of dreadlocks. Downwards, my eyes trailed, over a thinning frame wrapped in excess skin and the reminants of seventeen years of fat, clad in a ripped navy and green uniform of conformity, the white shirt collor poking out beneath my sweater crackling with dried blood.

 

What had happened to me, I wondered? When I stepped off that kerb, I saw nothing but light… knew nothing but pain………..

 

Was this my reward? After all the god-bashing, all the stealing, cheating and hentai doujishiis, I was sent to Heaven? Or was this my final test?

 

The last hurdle before the finish line?

 

Shaking my head once more, I sighed again and pulled off my tattered sweater, letting my shirt tails hang out over the edge of my tartan skirt. The approching night would be hot, I knew. I could feel it in the air….that feeling of warmth, almost comforting in itself, slowly encasing the world inside a protective bubble where nothing is ever harder than it seems.

Undoing the first few buttons of the thin polyester, I exitted the small but humble bedroom and walked downstairs, a part of me curious to see the living, breathing incarnation of Strongbad. Heaven help me..

 

Shasta was already busying herself cooking when I walked into the kitchen several minutes later. Her back to me, I watched in wonder as she expertly sliced and diced tomatos and onions, seasoning a pot of steak mince with chilli powder and humming to herself all the while. I recodnized the song. It was “Filthy/Gorgeous” by The Scissor Sisters, a popular track on the jukebox of annoying songs to get stuck in my head.

I wondered…did she think the same as me? Feel what I felt? She was a part of me, after all….it could be possible..

 

“Well! What do we have here?!”

 

“AHHH! WOOKIE!!” I heard myself scream, arms flailing up of their own accord at the sight of the monster before me, apparently coming from no-where. Six feet tall and three feet wide, Strongbad was a giant among men, yet he had more hair on his body that Chewbacca using Regain & Sustain.

Barely visable beneath the mass of wirery black fuzz, I could just make out a pair of rich amber eyes, the colour of honey, beaming at me from beneath a prominent brow and high-arching forehead.

His mouth cracked into the most frightening grin I'd ever seen in my life: Big, wide and pearly white, spread so far across his face I feared it would split in two.

 

“Hahah! She's a lively one, this!” he bellowed in a grainy, low tone that suggested he enjoyed more than the occasional cigar, one massive hand slapping his leather-clad stomach, his taunt muscles rippling beneath the heavy wifebeater.

Clutching my chest to steady my rapid heartbeat, I sunk into a dinner chair and cast him a look of incrediousness.

 

He was the hairest man I've ever seen in my life and with all that leather biker garb on him, I doubt he'd look out of place in ZZ Top..

 

“Ceres, this is Strongbad. Strongbad, this is Ceres! She's staying with us for a few days.” Shasta chimmed, her tiny frame dwarfed by the mother of all sauce pots as she began spooning chilli into the bowl set at the raven haired hairball's hands.

Not trusting myself to speak, I watched in awe and silent terror as he inhaled the chilli, bowl after bowl, untill his gargantuan belly seemed to swell in size, making him look like a hairy Buddha of sorts.

 

“How is it?” I heard the pink haired woman say, her voice filled with the same sort of nervousness that plagued me every Report Card Day. I looked up at her, seeing her dance on the balls of of her feet with her hands clasping her daisy-print apron.

 

“Mmmm… oh, Shasta, m'dear! You've outdone yourself!” Strongbad proclaimed, followed by a window-rattling belch that smelt strong enough to choke an elephant. In one single instance, I dropped my own fork into the bowl she'd given me, my normally insatiable appitite well and truly ruined, nose wrinkled in disgust. I could see we were going to get along famously…!

 

What happened next, however, I was completely unaware..unprepared for the sheer shock..

 

“Now, gimme some sugah, baby!” With one huge, trunk-like arm, Strongbad swept the fuschia haired woman up against his huge build, nuzzling his nose against hers and scraping off half her makeup with his wild, shaggy beard. I arched an eyebrow, feeling my jaw slowly drop as his hands reached for her petite bum.

She giggled, face flushing crimson and clashing with her hair as she hastily swatted his hands away.

 

“N-not in front of our guest!” she stammered, but Strongbad, being the blantant kind of guy I wrote him to be, was'nt listening and meerly continued his shameless groping, leering perversly beneath his mountains of hair.

 

Feeling vomit rise up my throat, I quickly excused myself from the table and walked swiftly-nay, RAN-upstairs to the guest bedroon, horror quaking through my body..I was barely outside the door when my knees gave way, causing me to collaspe against the magnolia walls, eyes wide with disbelief.

Strongbad and Shasta….it..it could'nt be! No! This was not how I'd written it! No… something must have gone wrong… maybe my arrival had thrown the timeline out of sync..

 

It was only when my eyes caught sight of the picture hanging on the wall before me did I realise my purpose, my reason for being within this strange new world:

I had to set things right.

 

 

 

******

 

 

It was around two am, maybe later when I jolted from a restless sleep. Blinking in the darkness, my surroundings felt alien to me, the room seeming to trail off infinately into a dark, black void. It was only untill, after a long stagger to the ensuite bathroom, did I realise I was'nt dreaming. This world was real and I was in it….a comforting thought, yet at the same time…

 

..Frightening.

 

Rubbing my eyes warily as the sink began to fill with cool, clear water, my ears twitched, listening for whatever it was that woke me. Voices. Two nearby, one slightly muffled, a low male voice. I could'nt deciper what they were saying, but it did'nt sound very pleasant.

Someone (I think it was Strongbad) was yelling at someone three doors down from the guest room. I knew it was rude, but my curiousity got the better of me.

Pulling on the purple nightrobe Shasta lent me over my cami top and panties, I tied the strings tight, pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose and walked cautiously to the door, my bare feet tiptoeing across the smooth wood floor.

 

Brows furrowing, I made to reach for the doornob, the arguing diming down to some low grumbling…but before I could grab the shiny brass handle, it swung open so fast and so forcefully that I stumbled backwards, tripping and landing with a hard thud on the rug by the bed.

“OW!” I grimaced, rubbing my ankle and hips from were they'd unceromoniously kissed the floor. With a harsh glare, brows knitting in anger, I fixed my glasses once more and narrowed my eyes at the shadowed pair of legs before me.

 

“….Hey, you were the one who said `any time you need me', Strongbad!” A low, husky male voice penetrated the air. A gasp escaped my throat, the familiarity too close for comfort. It could only be one of two people: Eric Johnson-Vale (fat chance!) or…

 

“Yah, but not at 2am in the damned morning! People are tryna sleep!” I heard Strongbad grunt, his bushy head of hair-practically a gigantic afro in his sleep-deprived state, poking into the doorframe. My stomach churned. He was naked from the waist up, the horrors below sparred on me by a pair of garish heart-print boxer shorts, but still, the sight of his chest hair would make even the most desensitized person scream for mercy.

Wookie, thy name is Strongbad indeed!

 

“Well, excuuu-uuse me for being kicked out by my girlfriend!” the husky male voice sounded again, annoyed, but with a detectable hint of sadness he struggled to suppress. With a sharp bang, he slammed the door shut and turned towards the bed, only to jump back at the sight of little old me, a fat shmuck lying on the floor, nursing a bruised ankle.

 

“Oh! I do beg your pardon!” he said in supprise, his face difficult to read in the darkness. I swallowed back a lump in my throat, resisting the urge to scream at him. Interupting my sleep is one thing, but to burst, unannounced into my room…he should be praising the higher forces I did'nt sock him one!

Warily, I got to my feet and brushed myself off, flab jiggling beneath the purple silk robe that barely disguised my bulk.

 

“Hrmph.” I let a snort escape through my nostrils, my brows continuing to furrow untill they threatened to completely sheild my eyes from the man's outline. I could feel the temples beneath my Widow Peeks twitch in annoyence, but I decided not to act on it. It was too late and I was too tired after a long evening of enduring vomit-inducing acts of open groping by Shasta and Strongbad to berate this stranger with the nerve to burst in unannounced.

 

“S-sorry. I did'nt realise anyone was in here..” he sounded deeply appologetic, his voice barely above a whisper. I watched the outline of his head bow in a sheepish manner, gaze directed to the floor.

 

“Forget it.” My voice was bland and deadpan, probably from fatique. No use going back to bed now, I thought. Insommia would never let it happen.

 

With sigh, I walked past the stranger and flipped the lightswitch on the wall by the door. Instantly, the room was flooded with a harsh white light, the lilac walls seeming to glow neon from behind my glasses. I squinted, took off my oval bifocals and rubbed my eyes, the space behind the emerald orbs aching dully as my pupils contracted.

 

“Are you alright?” the stranger's voice resonated behind me.

 

Turning, I put my frames back on, only to freeze at the sight of the man before me.

 

Holy crap!

 

He was tall, a good six foot to my five foot five and held that certain kind of thin-but-muscular physique usually only found on bishounen in shouen-ai doujins. Even his clothes screamed `Uke'!

An off-white, baggy tunic shirt hung loose on his slim frame, made from a comfortable looking fabric I guessed was linen and trimmed with dull orange tribal patterns around the cuffs and collor. The tails hung loose over his trousers-a skin tight black leather number with electric purple flames and laces running up to his knees, flared at the ankles and finished with a `Rockstar' buckled cowboy belt.

 

Nice, very nice, I found myself thinking as my eyes wandered up over the pale tanned contours of his collorbones and shoulders. Hair the colour of molten silver and styled in the choppiest, wildest, kinkiest of collor-length bobs hung down over his face and shoulder, partically concealing a soft-featured face and kissable, bee-stung lips…but the thing that transfixed me most was his eyes. They were the colour of a Carribean lagoon, deep blue and sparkling like the sun over the ocean.

They were enchanting to look at..sunken into his face and lined with dark circles from lack of sleep.

 

Yes, a man this good-looking certainly did loose a lot of sleep, I thought to myself, failing to hide the perverse grin that spread across my face like wildfire, licking my lips in approval of what stood before me. Taigoshin Shigeta. Sex on a stick.

 

“Ma'am?” his voice, low and husky and simply oozing with the kind of edginess that makes me weak at the knees, burst the bubble of my perverse, erotic thoughts, causing me to jump and blink in supprise. My cheeks turned crimson and I quickly adverted my gaze to the floor.

 

“S-sorry..” I mumured, failing to stiffle a giggle; “..um…you're Taigo, right?” my voice was so unlike my own it was scary.

 

High and chirpy, I sounded more like one of the evil preppy cheerleading dipshits that made my high school life hell than the pessimstic bitch I usually am. Maybe the reality of the situation is finally dawning on me and I'm slowly going insane: I'm a writer trapped in her own universe with the token bishounen of her most twisted, perverse fantasies standing right before her..

 

The silver haired man nodded slowly, arching an eyebrow at me. I could feel his eyes looking over me…calculating…wary. In an instant, I'd snapped out of my fangirl trance and into `shy' mode-clutching the front of my robe tight with both hands as I felt myself shrinking inside my skin.

It was always like this for me..everytime a remotely cute guy even glanced at my blubbery body, a feeling of helplessness would wash over me like a torrent wave, making me feel inediquatte and unloved. It was like that to this day…a feeling I could'nt shake..

 

“Uhhh.. yeah…I don't remember telling you my name..” he continued, that perfect silver eyebrow of his permanantly arched. I blushed harder, resisiting the urge not to crawl into a hole and slowly wait to die. Damn my lack of self-esteem..

 

“Your necklace..” I said quietly, indicating the silver kanji medallion tied like a choker across his neck: The symbol for Tago, Japanese for `tiger'.

 

“Ahhh….and you are?” he queried to me, stepping past me and seating himself on the edge of the bed, looking up with curious sapphire eyes. I grimaced, wrapping the silk fabric tighter around my body, suddenly feeling like I was standing in a crowded room, naked with only the sound of scrutiny for company..

 

“C-Ceres…nice to meet you.” My voice was barely a whisper, what little confidence I possessed melting away like butter in the sun. Taking a deep breath, I sat down beside him and stared at him, my eyes taking in his silvery blonde hair, wavy and immaculate, glinting softly in the light. Without thinking, I moved a hand up to trail my fingers through the silky strands. He was startled but did'nt protest as the delicate locks, soft and smooth, flowed gently through my fingers gracefully.

 

“Uhhh….what are you doing?”

 

“S-sorry… I just wanted to…to touch your hair…”

Mentally, I smacked myself. My God, that sounded so lame… I expected him to laugh in my face, but to my supprise, he simply smiled and petted my hand with his. I could'nt help but notice the countless coloured rubber bands around his wrist, one for a different charity and research fund.

 

I smiled at this. Just as I'd written him. Sweet, kind and charitable…

“It's okay…Ceres, right?”

 

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. He turned pink in the cheeks, half-hidden under molten silver, and stared down at his feet which were clad in Marilyn Manson-eque army boots, purple streaked to match his pants and covered in silver buckles.

“Uhhh…. I like your glasses..”

 

Needless to say, my face was the colour of a beetroot for the remainder of the night….

 

 

 

*****

 

 

Morning came swiftly, bringing with it the distant crashes of thunder on the ocean's horizon. Perfect! A thunder-storm! Just what's needed to clear off the humidity, I thought as I slowly peeled myself from the sweaty sheets, seating myself at the edge of the bed.

I tried to smile, but my mouth just won't obey me. Sighing, I stood up and placed my glasses on my nose, wrapping the purple silk robe once more around my bulky frame as I trudged to the bathroom.

 

Nope, I still was'nt dreaming. And now I was beginning to panic. With no idea of how I got here, and no idea how to get back, I was pretty much up Dawson's Creek without a Pacey. My stomach lurged uncomfortable as the thoughts of home flooded my mind. Mom would be frantic, I figured, probably giving the police my description and working herself into one of her trademark `worry fits'…my sister probably would'nt give a damn…neither would my father, if he was still alive...

 

My father. Hands clenching into fists, I gritted my teeth at the memory of him..of the broken promises, the lies… deciet and manipulation. It stabs me like a dagger in the heart when I think of the fact that he died without ever knowing how much I hated him…now, forced to live with this burden, each day I struggle to forget all the pain and emotional turmoil that he rained upon me in the fiveteen years I was forced to `know' him..

 

“Ceres! Breakfast is ready!”

 

Shasta's voice penetrated the shroud of dark thoughts that slowly wrapped around me, causing me to look up from my unfocused view of the washbasin, blinking behind my glasses.

 

“Gimme a minute..” I grunted back, my voice low and hoarse in the early morning. Splashing water onto my tangled hair, I attempted to tame it with an afro comb lying on a nearby shelf. I groaned at the result. Free from the clumps of dirt, grease and dandruff, the auburn locks sprung up in all directions: up, down, to, fro and side to side like Son Goku in a wind tunnel. Charming..!

 

After quickly worshipping the porcelean god, I threw my tattered uniform back on once more and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Shasta and Strongbad were already seated, deep in conversation and making goo-goo eyes at each other from across the butter tray. My stomach lurched again, feeling bile rise in my throat as they coyed and cooed, oblivious to the nausated effect they were having on me.

 

“Mornin', Ceres..” Taigo's voice sounded behind me, causing me to jump and whirl around on my heels. I blinked, pushing my glasses up my nose and cocking my head to one side as he strolled past me. I could'nt help but stare. Dressed only in low-slung, baggy white and blue candy-striped pajama pants, he was a vision of sculpted muscle as he leaned against the counter top, staring at me with the piercing intensity of a wise owl.

 

My cheeks burned with bashfulness and I quickly adverted my gaze.

“Oh! Uhh… M-morning, Taigo..” I simpered, swallowing back the lump that caught in my throat. Looking up from where he and Shasta were practically making out on the table, Strongbad grinned that terrifying, grizzly-bear grin of his and winked at me.

 

“Hey there, newbie! Hope we did'nt keep you up all night!”

 

I glared at him with such ferocity that he shrunk back into his seat, eyes wide with what I think was a mixture of fear and supprise.

 

It took most of my self-control not to attack him with a fork, my mouth twisted in disgust at the memory of what kept my sleep turbulant through all of last night: Sounds of shrieking, squealing, giggling, grunts, moans, groans and cries of ecstasy reverberated through the paper-thin walls of the guest room, the sound of a head-board banging against the thin plaster doing little to ease my insomia.

 

Urgh..

 

Taigo gave me a look of sympathy, as though he knew exactly what was going through my brain at that moment. Maybe he could hear it too- hell, the whole neighbourhood could've heard it! What were they doing? Sacrificing a warthog?!

“You look hungry… come, sit with us..” his voice was low and wary….or maybe it was fatique; I could'nt tell. Still, swallowing back my disgust, I nodded and seated myself as far away from Strongbad as possible, spooning egg and bacon into my mouth with my head bowed.

 

How I was going to survive my indetermined time here, I did not know…

 

“So, Pandora threw you out, huh?” I heard Shasta say, her voice full of sympathy as Taigo nodded despairingly. I blinked at this, raising my head up about a fraction of an inch to peer at the silver haired man. So, he was with Pandora? I mused, a sudden chill running through me at the thought of Shasta's twin sister-a Gothic, S and M loving version of myself, I pondered-and her weird, extremly pessimistic take on the world around her. Her and Taigo? Now, THERE'S a couple I'd like to see..

 

“Yeah….I don't get it, Shasta-Chan…SHE'S the one who's been cheating on me, but but she throws ME out!” Taigo let out a deep sigh, shaking his bed-tousled head of silvery blonde dejectedly. Not knowing what to make of the situation, I remained silent, chewing slowly on my rye toast and avoiding his eye contact.

For whatever reason, I just did'nt feel hungry…maybe it was the shock of hearing how completely screwed up the time line had become…

 

Shasta with Strongbad.. Taigo with Pandora…. It made no sense to me, but I knew I could do something to change it…exactly what, that thought would not come to me for now…

Letting out a deep breath as a sigh, I tuned out of the conversation altogether, instead focusing on the ocean view before me. The sun was slowly peeking out from behind dark thunder clouds, rather like a curious infant, peering down with wonder at the turbulent ocean waves below, unsure of wheiter to shine bright or let the rain continue to pelt at the roof..

 

“….Seeing as you're new to the neighbourhood, I think it would be only fitting for me to buy you a welcoming gift!”

 

Jumping, I was snapped back to alternate reality by Shasta's voice, chirpy and bright as the phantom sunbeams outside the window, a wide smile practically inches from my face. I blinked, staring at her in utter bewilderment, completely oblivious to whatever she'd been saying.

“Huh?”

 

“It's rude to ignore your hosts when they address you..” Strongbad gave me a scolding look beneath his unkempt mane of wirey black fuzz. His amber eyes narrowing, I got the feeling that he could see right through me, see me for what I was: one that did'nt belong..I should've been worried, but all I could think of was slowly restraining myself from yanking his beard hard and screaming in his face for deflowering my dear Shasta.

 

I could'nt hide the stupified grin that crossed my face at that thought. `My dear Shasta'…heh! That's the kind of thing only a mother should think of, right? But then again, technically, I WAS her mother..I DID create her after all..

Casting the raven haired man-beast a deathglare that would do Vegeta proud, I slumped back in my seat and folded my arms casually behind my head.

 

“..It's also rude to keep your guests awake at night with the sound of incesent fucking, my dear Strongbad.” I retorted in a casual voice, closing my eyes and smirking as I heard him gasp in alarm.

 

“Oh, my!” I heard Shasta squealed, causing me to crack one eye. She had risen from her seat, face flushed beetroot pink, clashing with her hair, head bowed with embarrassment. “Y-you heard that?”

 

I was about to open my mouth to make a snappy comment when Taigo, who had been silent as a mouse all this time, beat me to it.

“Shasta, I think the whole damn neighbourhood heard you! What were you doing in there, sacrificing a warthog?!” his voice was low and exasperated as he shook his head, running one hand through the silky strands of silver. I could'nt contain my giggle. My thoughts exactly! We were on the same wavelenght!

 

“Ahem…what we do in the privacy of our bedroom is nobodie's buisness but our own!” Strongbad stared coldy at me as he said this. I could feel his eyes upon me, scrutinizing my bulky physique..I just knew he was yearning to call me something…I could see it in his eyes….but the blow never came. Instead, he got up from his seat and disappeared down the hall, out of sight. The loud WUMP of a door slamming confirmed my suspisions: He was a tempermental little fuck…

 

“I appologize fully if we disturbed you in any way!” Shasta simpered, adverting her gaze to the daisies on her apron. I shrugged, waving a hand in the air. Assholes were nothing new to me..

”Don't worry `bout it.” I replied, leaning back in my seat to gaze thoughtfully at the ceiling. Taigo said nothing more that morning, retreating to his room after helping with the cleaning up and leaving me alone at last with Shasta. Time for a lil' grilling, I thought wickedly to myself.

 

“So, Shas..” I said casually as I leaned against the worktop that afternoon, watching her kneed dough with her delicate, waif-like fingers; “…Tell me. Exactly WHAT do you see in Afro-Man?”

She turned to me, giving me a searching look with those deep emerald eyes. I could tell she was embarrassed by the incident at breakfast, but she hid it well. Still, her face flushed pink and she avoided my gaze as she continued with her baking, shying from my question.

 

“Hey! I asked you a question!”

 

Clank. She set the bowl down on the counter with unnessacary force. Something in her face changed… it was subtle at first, her eyebrows slowly furrowing untill she could match me in the frowning ranks.. then her mouth twisted into a glare. I blinked, jumping back in alarm as she gave me a look of pure daggers.

It was actually quite unnerving..

 

“Miss Ceres! With all due respect, you're a guest in this house, and unless you behave yourself, I will not speak to you! You embarrassed me in front of Taigo this morning, you know! Just for that, no cookies for you!” her voice still held it's high, chirpy tone, but it was also one of scolding and as I arched my eyebrow at her gutsyness, she stuck her nose up and continued kneeding the dough, eyes closed in anger.

 

“Well, excuuu-uuuse ME, but I believe YOU'RE the one who should behave yourself! I heard every single one of your `bedroom noises' through the wall last night! How do you expect me to be on my best behavior if I can't sleep for all the `Oooh, Strongbad! I need your hot man-chowder!' noises keeping me up?!”

My voice was higher than usual, my fists involentarily clenching. Still, I stood my ground, refusing to let my anger get the better of me..

 

The fushia haired woman let an high-pitched, indignified `hrrph!' escape her puffed up cheeks, burning pink with anger. I could tell she was biting her back teeth, for her nose twitched violently in that certain way when a woman with no troubles suddenly finds herself faced with a whole heap..

“Well, if you have a problem, you know where to go! Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!”

 

The idea of storming out so tempting, I stood my ground. After all, where else could I go? Trapped in a strange world of imagination, no idea of how I got there, it seemed highly unlikely an exit route would drop out of the sky. So I did something completely out of my character: I swallowed back my pride, stood back and appologized.

 

She continued to fiercly kneed the cookie dough, her head held high with indignity, but judging from the exasperated crease between her brows, I knew her strop would'nt last long.

Still, I did'nt want to push my luck any further and with a sorry bow of my head, I retreated into the spacious living room. Taigo was sitting on one of the magestic white leather couches when I entered, half-heartedly watching a Japanese gameshow involving scantly clad girls holding up scoreboards and a hyper-active, bishounen-esque host in a lurid green tuxedo screaming with laughter as the contestents fell around a paddling pool full of Jello.

 

“Looks like you're here to stay, hmm?” Taigo mused, not looking away from the screen. I blinked, seating myself beside him and fiddling with my glasses.

 

“Eh?”

 

“Don't think I did'nt hear your little er…conversation.” He turned to face me, his sapphire eyes, so invitingly bright beneath a veil of silvery blonde smiling solemnly.

My cheeks flushed pink for reasons alien to me and I adverted my eyes to the tattered rags barely covering my lap. He gave a soft chuckle and I felt the couch shift beneath me as he raised from his seat.

 

“You're new in the area, right?”

 

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded. How I jumped when I felt a large, slightly rough hand upon my own. Alarmed, I sprung to my feet, stepping back in shock, my eyes wide as saucers and face burning in supprise. What the..?

 

“Can I show you around? Y'know, give you a tour of the city?”

 

Is he flirting with me?! Before I could answer, however, the tense moment-in my opinion, at least- was cut short by the arrival of Strongbad, clad from head to toe in grubby black leather, his hopelessly shaggy hair tied back off his bearded face in a messy ponytail. I almost smiled at him for breaking the heat…'almost' being the keyword…

 

“Hey, that sounds like fun! Count me in!” The raven haired man-beast chirped, causing me to face fault. So much for being a knight in hairy armour. Letting a barely audible groan escape my lips, I turned in the direction of the kitchen, suddenly wanting to get as far away as possible from the duo when Shasta peeked her head out, the wide grin on her soft pink lips tell me all was forgiven.

 

“If you're you're heading into the city, could you pick up some things from the store? I'm runnin' low on bread and milk!” her voice was back to it's usual, perky self, the anger of the morning past erased and replaced only with the borderline annoying chiperness that seemed to ooze forth from her being.

I nodded slowly, a hand reaching up to scratch the back of my head in bewilderment and slight worry. A shopping trip with Taigo and Strongbad..

 

The horror! THE HORROR!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

****

 

Yamakura Shopping Centre was every shop-a-holics dream. Five storeys high and eight storeys wide, the magestic glass and iron complex was packed to breaking point with every imaginable kind of retail outlet, from the American HMVs and WalMart to the lesser-known Sukadouji Fashion Concern and MangaMart, along with countless others, little carts and stalls of food dotted all along the ground floor.

I was in Heaven….pity I was stone broke.

 

With a dejected sigh, I pulled several balled up euro notes and coins from my pocket, counting them in my palm. Ten euro and fifteen cents. Completely useless in this non-EU country. Just my luck…

 

“Oooh, the new Hiraguchi novel's out!” Strongbad squealed, causing me to jump in alarm. Turning on the balls of my heels, my eyes fell upon the bushy-haired man-beast, face smushed against the window of the MangaMart, which displayed a lifesize cut out of a scantly-clad schoolgirl getting..er…'better aquinted' with a tenticle monster.

A bead of sweat escaped my hollowed temples, trailing down my face as I watched him giggle perversely, dancing on his feet. Pervert, I thought in exasperation, moving a hand to massage my forehead.

 

“Honestly, that Strongbad…. Hentai otaku to the extreme..” Taigo said in an amused tone, giving me a bashful smile before he followed his fellow housemate into the large book store, beckoning me to follow.

 

The MangaMart was every otaku's ultimate fantasy. Magestic aisles of manga novels stretched beyond the naked eye, rows upon rows of DVDs, videos, computer games and CDs glinting out from hundreds of shelves and stands, simply screaming `BUY ME!'

If life was an anime, I'm pretty sure my eyes were taking up half my face by now, all bubble-eque and sparkling in wonderment..forcing back my delight, I scanned the rows upon rows, searching for nothing in particular. My eyes met with many painted faces, from The Overfiend to Pikachu, from Ryoko to Son Goku.

 

Pure, unadulterated bliss!

 

“May I help you?” came a high, squeaky female voice from behind me. Turning, my eyes enlarged to saucers, taking in the sight of a store clerk, clad in a white and teal sailor scout uniform. The spitting image of Ami Mizuho, or Sailor Mercury as she was known to many a horny fanboy..

Before I could open my mouth to speak to her, however, Strongbad beat me to it, shoving a good five hundred or so graphic novels, DVDs and action figures-all from hentai I'd never heard of-into her startled arms.

 

“I'll take that and that.. oooh, and one of these!”he chimmed, continuing to feed the staggering pile growing in the poor girl's arms. I shook my head at the sight. How did Taigo and Shasta put up with this, I pondered? With a shake of my head, I slipped away to the Art aisle, turning my interest to a special edition boxset of How To Draw Manga books. Flicking through the pages of a random book, not really focused on the many pictures that flashed through my fingers, I felt a sudden feeling of oneness. For the first time since arriving here, I felt like I belonged.

 

Maybe it was the temptation of all that manga…but at that very moment, I felt like I was home.

 

“We have a special offer on Sailor Moon merchindice today! Buy one item and get another absolutely free!” came the voice of a male clerk, posing as Tuxedo Kamen, appearing from nowhere and scaring the living daylights out of me. Well, that explained the unusual staff uniforms, I pondered, laughing nervously as I placed the drawing book back on the shelf. The clerk gave me a broad smile from behind the white kato mask and escorted-nay, SHUNTED me towards the Sales aisle before bombarding me with Senshi costumes, plastic Moon Tiaras and oversized stuffed plushie toys untill my knees buckled from the weight.

 

Thank heaven for Taigo, who arrived in the nick of time with a large shopping cart before I collasped beneath the plushie pile. Dumping the junk into the cart, I leaned against a nearby pillar to regain my balance, watching as he curiously poked a pink, featury Princess Serinity costume with one long, thin finger.

 

“Interesting choice of clothing..” he said in amusement, causing me to blush peevishly. Brows furrowing, I yanked the costume, along with seemingly millions of Sailor Moon items, out of the cart, giving him a scolding look.

 

“Oh, please! Do I look like an inter-galactic hooker to you?!” My cheeks puffed up with annoyence, wrinkles of distaste causing my nose to wiggle as I held the skimpy costume at arm's length. “Urgh…” Tossing the offending item aside, I strolled past the bewildered silver haired man and exitted the store, but not without a Chibiusa doll, a Vegeta and Mirai Trunks plushie, an Alucard action figure and several Capsule Corp logo patches.

All paid for by Taigo, who for some reason, felt compelled to to treat me to some courtsey shopping with his credit cards..

Maybe it was his way of being friendly to the `new chick in the neighbour', I wondered, remembering what I'd read about the Japanese custom of gift-giving..

 

 

Soon, we had ended up in Sarajuko Girls, a clothing store set up by Gwen Stephani that, despite the name, catered for both male and female J-poppers, the aisles adorned with millions of L.AM.B brand clothing items, a sheer galaxy of colour.

 

“Oooh, Ceres! What'cha think of this?” Strongbad queried to me as we explored the men's aisle, indicating a lurid pink bowling shirt covered in lime green Hawaii-print flowers. My nose wrinkled again. Someone call the fashion police!

 

“I think you're colour-blind..”was my cynical answer, causing him to frown beneath his hair. Tossing the Day-Glow shirt into his kart despite my honest opinion, he let a snort escape his nostrils and folded his arms over his beefy chest.

”And just WHAT is your problem? From the moment we met, you've been nothin' but a pain in the ass!” he glared daggers from beneath all that hair…his amber eyes narrowed to near slits and mouth wrinkled in such a way that suggested something foul smelling was waifing up his nostrils. I glared back, feeling my back teeth grit. Everything about him disgusted me, from his trunk-like arms, covered in fuzz and dirty leather to the sheer nauseating mental images of his bedroom escapades.

 

Still, I did'nt want to cause a scene in the middle of the store, so I remained silent, ignoring him for the most part as I joined Taigo in a nearby T-shirt aisle.

“HEY! I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!” Strongbad half-yelled over the item racks, but his cries fell on deaf ears. I would not let him get to me this way..

 

“What's up?” The silver haired man queried as I watched him survey a black slash-neck shirt with a kamikaze design on the front, his long, spindly fingers trailing along the fabric in an almost sensouous manner.

 

“Taigo..” I started, an exasperated sigh escaping my lips; “…Listen… about this mornin'..”

 

“S'okay, Ceres…I understand.” Taigo interrupted, turning to face me. I never realized untill this point how tall he was. A full head and shoulders than myself and he seemed to look down upon me like some dark angel, his eyes half-hidden in the shadows of his hair. I adverted my gaze, feeling a strange clenching feeling in my chest. Without thinking, I placed a hand over my chest, feeling that special muscle, broken too many times to count, hammering furiously against my rib cage.

 

This was'nt right. I could'nt fall for Taigo…not now…not when the timeline was thrown so chaoticly out of whack..

 

“Hey, are you alright, Ceres? You look a lil' flushed..”

 

His hand touched my cheek lightly. Looking up, I saw no fury…no hate in his deep sapphire eyes…only concern and a deep, swirling blue mist of pure emotion.

It was unnerving…maybe because I was so unused to such a gentle touch, to the feeling of feather-soft hands-so warm and inviting on my cheek as this…Hyperion-eque man of unnatural beauty took interest in a satyr like me..

 

“I-I'm fine, Taigo…the heat's getting to me..” my voice sounded breathless, like I'd ran ten thousand miles in a matter of seconds, a bashful tone waifing from my lips in barely a whisper. A gentle thumb stroked the contours of my cheekbones, running so achingly slow over my jawline I could've cried.

 

“Maybe you should sit down for a while..” Taigo's voice made me blush..it was so sensuous without being sleazy and as he led me to one of the purple chintz chairs dotted outside the dressing rooms, part of me longed for him to take me against the wall behind of the heavy red velvet curtains..but I banished the thought, pushing it down within me untill I was standing on it. Such thoughts always lead to chaos..

 

“Weeeell, I'm gonna go get better aquinted with a razor blade, so I'll catch y'all later!” came a deep, booming voice from somewhere above me. Snapping from my trance, I blinked behind my glasses as Strongbad entered the scene, stroking his thick beard with a look of mourning. I blinked again, scratching my head in bewilderment. It was only when I watched him depart to the barber shop across the mall did I understand what he ment.

 

Casting Taigo a searching look, he answered my unspoken question.

“Don't worry…he's just getting a badly needed make-over… Shasta's been gouding him for months to do something with the beard-“

 

“Lemme guess..” I queried, a bemussed grin crossing my face for the first time in what felt like an eternity; “….beard rash gone too far?”

The silver haired man chuckled and leaned against the wall beside me, watching as the back of the raven haired man-beast's head disappeared from view.

“You could say that…”he then turned to me, his eyes turning serious beneath the platinum waterfall that cascaded over his face.

 

“We're finally alone..”

 

I moved to stand, but froze as the words hit my ears. What did he just say?! Too stunned to speak, I could only float on my feet as he lead me towards one of the dressing rooms, pushing back the heavy curtain and concealing us both inside. The raised frame of the mirror pressed painfully into my back as I backed away, my eyes wide with supprise.

 

“T-Taigo-“ but before I could get a sentence out, his chest pressed gently against my own as he pulled me towards him, muscular arms winding secure around my waist.

 

His eyelids fluttered shut and before I could yell out, his lips were against mine, kissing me gently but with such a fiery intensity that I felt my knees go weak.

I should've pushed him away, knowing too all too well what kind of trouble I could get into, but something was different about this kiss….it did'nt feel forced or rough..it was tender and sweet as candy and as we stood entwined against the thin wall of the cubicle, my arms instinctivly wrapped around his neck, fingers burying themselves in his hair.

 

“Mmmm…” a soft moan escaped through my nose as I felt his hands stroke my hips through the coarse fabric of my skirt. This was so very, very wrong, but it felt so very right and I could'nt stop myself, my better judgement clouded by something I could'nt describe…lust, perhaps? I did'nt know and at that moment, I did'nt care as his tongue swished against my bottom lip, begging for enterence. I obeyed, my hands on his neck urging him on as we kissed passionately for what felt like an eternity.

It was only when I felt his hand brush against one of the many secret scars etched across my thigh did I finally find the will to push him away. Placing my hands lightly on his chest-a chest so toned and muscular I could've grated cheese on it- I broke the kiss and adverted my gaze to the floor, face red raw with some strange flush of emotion.

 

“D-don't….please….we can't do this..” I whispered, feeling my body begin to shake. Why was I doing this to myself, giving up so soon when at long last the very man I'd been searching for was holding me in his arms. In my mind, I told myself it was for the sake of the timeline, but my heart knew the full story: that I was just too scared of getting hurt all over again.

 

His thumb and forefinger gently tilted my chin, his eyes meeting mine with a look of questioning.

“I know what you must be thinking….it's too soon for us, huh?”

 

I remained silent, feeling my eyes well up as I listened to him speak.

 

“Yeah…I guess so…but..I've never felt like this before, Ceres….something inside of you…it-it calls out to me. Something I feel I've known all my life. If you'll let me, I want to find out what it is…Y-you intrique me, Miss Mordino..more than any woman I've ever known.”

 

What could I say to that? Words failed me then and all I could do, all I've ever done, was to whisper a tearful `I'm sorry', feet pounding against harden wood as I ran…..

 

….. ran away from my own foolish emotions…..

 

 

 

To Be Continued….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

********************

Shasta-Chan's Final Thought:

Ummm….yes… I don't really know what was going through my head when I first started writing this. I guess initially I planned on something autobiographical and random to stave off writer's block, but it took on a mind of it's own and thus ensured a meeting with the weirdos that clog up my brain. Heh! Anyhoo, about Ceres. She's a lot like myself in a way: Unsure of herself, anti-social, insecure in her own skin and such, but she's more of a symbol to all the darkness that is welled up inside me. In my own opinion, this is by far the most personal story I've written (and my first 1st person P.OV fic, no less! ^-^ ) and I'd really appriciate some feedback, even it if is flamage.

Life is about overcoming hurdles, but when those hurdles threaten to consume you, all you can do is find the courage to break through and hopefully, become something more than yourself from your experiences. That's what this story is about and I hope I've at least offered you some insight into the inner workings of my intriging and-more often- quirky mind.

Thank you for reading and see you next time on the sequel, which, hopefully, should be up by the end of summer. In the mean time, check out some of my other fictions at both http://www.mediaminer.org (under the name Shastania) or the pretty much dead account at http://www.fanfiction.net

(under Shasta01…I think..^^ `), or, if you fancy some visual enjoyment, come visit my gallery at http://shastania.deviantart.com.

Also, I'm a regular at the mediaminer forums, so feel free to drop me a line, even if only to say `hi'!

 

Again, thanks for reading my bizarre ramblings! So untill next time, in the words of the immortal Jerry Springer:

Take care of yourselves and each other! ^_^ \/

 

Later days!

 

~*Shasta-Chan*~

14/06/05