Fan Fiction ❯ Love and War ❯ The Angst of It All ( Chapter 3 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Tari Helyanwe 
What Ukaran has done? Taylin's past is told to Jatar. How will he handle to truth?
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.09.2004 | Updated On: 11.30.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 146 | Status: Completed
What Ukaran has done? Taylin's past is told to Jatar. How will he handle to truth?
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.09.2004 | Updated On: 11.30.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 146 | Status: Completed
The Angst of It All
Here's the next chapter! Lots of angst ahead. I only got one review so far, but hopefully more people will review *big chibi eyes* hopefully...
Response:
Minaaa!: You think it's funky, huh? Well thanks alot and thanks for the review! You're the best! Let's see what ya thihnk of this one. And I can't wait for that wedding fic. ^_^
/////////////////////////////////
"TAS-CHAN NO!" Jatar stepped in front of Kouga, while Taylin swung her scythe while in the air.
"SEMI CIRCLE STRIKE!" A flurry of mini sickles began rain down upon them, but fortunately Jatar blocked it's attack.
"HELL'S WRATH!" A wall of fire blocked the sickles. Jatar made a dash for Taylin and grabbed her in mid-air. He looked into her periwinkle eyes with anger and disgust. Her eyes went wide as she saw cereulean glimmer with hatred.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled, causing her to flinch in his bruising grip.
"He...he was eating my cookies-" her small voice was cut off due to his haste anger.
"THAT'S NO REASON TO KILL HIM!" Taylin's eyes began to fill with tears.
"I wasn't going to...i swear-"
"Then if you weren't, then why did you use one of your attacks on him?!" Taylin looked to the side, but then realized that Jatar was holding her, and when she was going to say something, he interrupted her thoughts.
"I knew it! It's that blade!" Jatar grabs the blade from her and throws her onto the ground. Taylin kept her gaze to the ground, letting her white tresses hide her face as the tears slid down.
"...I hate this form..." Jatar looked down at the death angel, guilty for what he did.
"Tay..." Kogashi and Yosha looked on, not knowing how to react to the situation.
"I'm a danger to you all now..." Taylin slowly stood up, keeping her back facing the group.
"No, you're not a danger to us, Tay. It's the sword that worries me. The way you attacked Kogashi was very untrusting, especially over something so small as cookies..." Taylin took a glimpse at Kogashi from the corner of her eye and placed her gaze back onto the floor. She detransformed herself. Jatar followed suit, reverting into his blond hair and blue eyes.
"I...I need to be by myself. I will return." Taylin ran upstairs, while the others followed her every movement. Kogashi and Yosha were at a loss for words.
Jatar's POV and Taylin's POV (AN:Jatar in <blah> Taylin in blah These are just their thoughts.)
<Poor girl...why did I have to give her that blade? I couldn't bear the burden anymore and just slumped to my knees. I saw a spot on my leg. I hadn't realized I was...crying.>
Will I really put them in danger? No...this is not anyone's fault but Ukaran's! Kneeling in front of the alter for Ara, I ask him for guidance, for a clear path.
Ara, what should I do?
<It's all my fault, thinking anyone could be powerful enough to stand up to the curse. This dungeon is so...confining. I stepped out, leaving Yosha and Kogashi behind. I don't want to deal with them right now.>
I finished my prayer, but I'm still unclear about what to do.
<What will I do? I've already fucked over another friend, and now I may have to hurt her to save her. Maybe a slow walk back to headquarters will help me figure things out.>
...Those children. I could feel the tears coming back.
<Damnit! I took my frustration out on a tree, making some of it's leaves shake off. THIS IS BULLSHIT!>
I'm so sorry...I can feel the hot liquids run down my face. If only I can shed enough to repent for what I've done...
<DAMN YOU, UKARAN! MAY YOU BURN IN HELL, MOTHERFUCKER! My knee gave out, leaving me on a bended knee. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAPPENED!>
Maybe...I should leave. But that would be so selfish of me...
<What if she plan's to leave? I can't let her do that. I continue back to headquarters. She can't...she may hurt someone she cares about. I'm such an idiot! I didn't notice the scenery passing by quickly. I sprinted the rest of the way back.>
I'm so confused... It's getting late. The darkening sky tells me that.
<I can't stand the sight of this blade. It's caused so much misery. Even if it looks clean, I know it was once caked with blood of my comrades.>
I wonder what Jat-kun will do with the blade. Will he use it? He's a wall of meat, but he's not stupid
<I can't throw it away! Someone else will get infected. But I can't keep it, or else someone may get hurt. What can I do?! I chucked the blade across the room with all the loathe in my body.>
*yawn* I need sleep. Hopefully things will get better in the morning.
<Maybe it's best to discuss this tomorrow. It is getting late. Don't worry, Tay-chan, we'll get through this...>
So comfy. I'm glad I opted for a feather bed. As I bury myself underneath these covers, I can't help but think that things won't be all that bad.
<Then afterwards we can eat some cookies. Hehehe.>
End of POV
AN: **blah** whatever is happening in dream
Throughout the night, their slumber did not go without disturbances...
Jatar turned in his sleep, his face covered in sweat, his blonde hair became matted to his head and his breathing erratic.
**STOP THIS TAY! WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS! DON'T DO THIS!**
Meanwhile, Taylin wasn't fairing any better. She managed to throw off her covers in her sleep. Her face was contorted in pain.
**Children's screams were heard around her. "Please, don't kill my mother." An evil chuckle resonated throughout the dreamworld. "Then slaughter the children of this village, little angel of life."**
**Feels his body being slashed and screams in agony.** Jatar bolts awake from his sleep.
"NO! DON'T KILL US, TAY..." 'Huh? It was...just a dream?' He looks around his room and realizes nothing happened.
Meanwhile...
**"They haven't done anything wrong!" The ominous figure ignored her pleas. "But you existence is horrendous, angel of life. So pathetic. I will bring out your true form...
Crimson liquid left no place untouched, screams that could chill your bones filled the air, and fires broke out.
"Now...let my mother go." She catches her breath after commiting those sinful crimes against humanity. The figure gave a sadistic smile.
"As you wish." He passes a hand through her mother's chest, holding her mother's heart literally in her hands.
"She is free." Taylin's eyes went wide beyond comprehension, and tears flooded her vision.
"Mo...mother..." she watched her mother's lifeless body hang from his arm. "No...NO!!"**
Jatar heard the blood churdling scream and ran upstairs to her room. He found her with her knees to her chest, rocking herself gently.
"TAY-CHAN! WHAT HAPPENED?!" He stepped closer and kneeled beside her.
"...why...why..."
"Tay..."
"They didn't have to die..." she continued to rock herself gently.
"Who? Who didn't have to?"
"...they were so young...she...she didn't have to..." her voice became cracked and tugged at Jatar's soul. He sat next to her and tried to comfort her when she began to sob.
"Didn't have to do what? Who is she?" keeping his voice as calm as possible, despite his yearning to shake her until she gave an answer, he tried to be patient with her. Taylin looked up at Jatar with black eyes, which made him back away in fear.
"Ukaran...he made me do that...he made me what I am."
"A-are you okay, Tay? You're scaring me a bit." Taylin closed her eyes and opened them. They were once again glassy grey-blue orbs.
"I didn't want to..." Jatar would regret what he was about to ask, but it had to be done.
"What did he do to you?" She was quiet for a moment, then sighed, seeing as it was inevitable for him to learn the truth.
"Six years ago, when I was twelve, Ukaran came to my village. He heard that I was the angel of life, and designator protector of our village." Jatar was intently listening to her every word.
"He...he took hostage of my mother and demanded to see me. He w-wanted me to slaughter the children of the village...in return for my mother's life..." she saw the rage on Jatar's face.
"That...that...COLD HEARTED SON OF A BITCH!" he clenched his fists in pure rage.
Taylin nodded in agreement. "But even after...I did what he demanded..." tears began to roll off her face, which didn't go unnoticed by Jatar. "...he went back on his word..." Jatar was shocked and horrified all at the same.
"He didn't..." His face went went from enraged, to sad, then shocked, then back to rage. Taylin looked out the window sadly.
"I saw her face. She was in so much pain. But she looked as if...she understood the conditions, and forgave me...but I know that will never be true." Her voice died off at the end, but Jatar heard those last words.
"You're wrong, Tay. You shouldn't think that way. It will just make you more upset. Please, I can't bear to see you this way..."
"If I knew she would have died anyway, those little kids would still be alive! I could have chosen to let one person die instead of many." She crumbled the sheets in her fists. She then stood up. Jatar followed suit.
"You didn't have that knowledge." Taylin begins to leave the room before Jatar called after her. "Tay..."
She pauses, and looks back slightly.
"Don't beat yourself up over this. I'll bet your mom gave up her place in heaven just for this one day for her revenge on him. So I bet she doesn't feel resentment even the slightest. After all, how can a person who holds grudges ever have been the mother of someone as sweet as you?" He gives her a smile, and was rewarded with a small one from Taylin. She continued on her trip and left the room.
'I hope you'll be okay, Tay...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Taylin ran into Kogashi in the hallway.
"Kogashi..." Taylin looked down in shame. "I'm sorry...I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay. No harm done." Yosha walked up behind him.
"I wouldn't have let someone defend me." Jatar was behind her.
"Shut up Yosha and heel!" Thanks to Kyoki's spell, when someone mentioned the word 'heel', it made his body extremely heavy and would fall onto his side because he couldn't handle the weight.
"At least Ukaran is dead." A small, creepy smile graced her features, which freaked everyone out, except for Yosha, who was a grumbling mess on the floor. "Although I thought vengence would feel better than this."
"They say that vengence is bitter sweet." Taylin nodded in agreement.
"Seems so."
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PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW!
Here's the next chapter! Lots of angst ahead. I only got one review so far, but hopefully more people will review *big chibi eyes* hopefully...
Response:
Minaaa!: You think it's funky, huh? Well thanks alot and thanks for the review! You're the best! Let's see what ya thihnk of this one. And I can't wait for that wedding fic. ^_^
/////////////////////////////////
"TAS-CHAN NO!" Jatar stepped in front of Kouga, while Taylin swung her scythe while in the air.
"SEMI CIRCLE STRIKE!" A flurry of mini sickles began rain down upon them, but fortunately Jatar blocked it's attack.
"HELL'S WRATH!" A wall of fire blocked the sickles. Jatar made a dash for Taylin and grabbed her in mid-air. He looked into her periwinkle eyes with anger and disgust. Her eyes went wide as she saw cereulean glimmer with hatred.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled, causing her to flinch in his bruising grip.
"He...he was eating my cookies-" her small voice was cut off due to his haste anger.
"THAT'S NO REASON TO KILL HIM!" Taylin's eyes began to fill with tears.
"I wasn't going to...i swear-"
"Then if you weren't, then why did you use one of your attacks on him?!" Taylin looked to the side, but then realized that Jatar was holding her, and when she was going to say something, he interrupted her thoughts.
"I knew it! It's that blade!" Jatar grabs the blade from her and throws her onto the ground. Taylin kept her gaze to the ground, letting her white tresses hide her face as the tears slid down.
"...I hate this form..." Jatar looked down at the death angel, guilty for what he did.
"Tay..." Kogashi and Yosha looked on, not knowing how to react to the situation.
"I'm a danger to you all now..." Taylin slowly stood up, keeping her back facing the group.
"No, you're not a danger to us, Tay. It's the sword that worries me. The way you attacked Kogashi was very untrusting, especially over something so small as cookies..." Taylin took a glimpse at Kogashi from the corner of her eye and placed her gaze back onto the floor. She detransformed herself. Jatar followed suit, reverting into his blond hair and blue eyes.
"I...I need to be by myself. I will return." Taylin ran upstairs, while the others followed her every movement. Kogashi and Yosha were at a loss for words.
Jatar's POV and Taylin's POV (AN:Jatar in <blah> Taylin in blah These are just their thoughts.)
<Poor girl...why did I have to give her that blade? I couldn't bear the burden anymore and just slumped to my knees. I saw a spot on my leg. I hadn't realized I was...crying.>
Will I really put them in danger? No...this is not anyone's fault but Ukaran's! Kneeling in front of the alter for Ara, I ask him for guidance, for a clear path.
Ara, what should I do?
<It's all my fault, thinking anyone could be powerful enough to stand up to the curse. This dungeon is so...confining. I stepped out, leaving Yosha and Kogashi behind. I don't want to deal with them right now.>
I finished my prayer, but I'm still unclear about what to do.
<What will I do? I've already fucked over another friend, and now I may have to hurt her to save her. Maybe a slow walk back to headquarters will help me figure things out.>
...Those children. I could feel the tears coming back.
<Damnit! I took my frustration out on a tree, making some of it's leaves shake off. THIS IS BULLSHIT!>
I'm so sorry...I can feel the hot liquids run down my face. If only I can shed enough to repent for what I've done...
<DAMN YOU, UKARAN! MAY YOU BURN IN HELL, MOTHERFUCKER! My knee gave out, leaving me on a bended knee. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAPPENED!>
Maybe...I should leave. But that would be so selfish of me...
<What if she plan's to leave? I can't let her do that. I continue back to headquarters. She can't...she may hurt someone she cares about. I'm such an idiot! I didn't notice the scenery passing by quickly. I sprinted the rest of the way back.>
I'm so confused... It's getting late. The darkening sky tells me that.
<I can't stand the sight of this blade. It's caused so much misery. Even if it looks clean, I know it was once caked with blood of my comrades.>
I wonder what Jat-kun will do with the blade. Will he use it? He's a wall of meat, but he's not stupid
<I can't throw it away! Someone else will get infected. But I can't keep it, or else someone may get hurt. What can I do?! I chucked the blade across the room with all the loathe in my body.>
*yawn* I need sleep. Hopefully things will get better in the morning.
<Maybe it's best to discuss this tomorrow. It is getting late. Don't worry, Tay-chan, we'll get through this...>
So comfy. I'm glad I opted for a feather bed. As I bury myself underneath these covers, I can't help but think that things won't be all that bad.
<Then afterwards we can eat some cookies. Hehehe.>
End of POV
AN: **blah** whatever is happening in dream
Throughout the night, their slumber did not go without disturbances...
Jatar turned in his sleep, his face covered in sweat, his blonde hair became matted to his head and his breathing erratic.
**STOP THIS TAY! WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS! DON'T DO THIS!**
Meanwhile, Taylin wasn't fairing any better. She managed to throw off her covers in her sleep. Her face was contorted in pain.
**Children's screams were heard around her. "Please, don't kill my mother." An evil chuckle resonated throughout the dreamworld. "Then slaughter the children of this village, little angel of life."**
**Feels his body being slashed and screams in agony.** Jatar bolts awake from his sleep.
"NO! DON'T KILL US, TAY..." 'Huh? It was...just a dream?' He looks around his room and realizes nothing happened.
Meanwhile...
**"They haven't done anything wrong!" The ominous figure ignored her pleas. "But you existence is horrendous, angel of life. So pathetic. I will bring out your true form...
Crimson liquid left no place untouched, screams that could chill your bones filled the air, and fires broke out.
"Now...let my mother go." She catches her breath after commiting those sinful crimes against humanity. The figure gave a sadistic smile.
"As you wish." He passes a hand through her mother's chest, holding her mother's heart literally in her hands.
"She is free." Taylin's eyes went wide beyond comprehension, and tears flooded her vision.
"Mo...mother..." she watched her mother's lifeless body hang from his arm. "No...NO!!"**
Jatar heard the blood churdling scream and ran upstairs to her room. He found her with her knees to her chest, rocking herself gently.
"TAY-CHAN! WHAT HAPPENED?!" He stepped closer and kneeled beside her.
"...why...why..."
"Tay..."
"They didn't have to die..." she continued to rock herself gently.
"Who? Who didn't have to?"
"...they were so young...she...she didn't have to..." her voice became cracked and tugged at Jatar's soul. He sat next to her and tried to comfort her when she began to sob.
"Didn't have to do what? Who is she?" keeping his voice as calm as possible, despite his yearning to shake her until she gave an answer, he tried to be patient with her. Taylin looked up at Jatar with black eyes, which made him back away in fear.
"Ukaran...he made me do that...he made me what I am."
"A-are you okay, Tay? You're scaring me a bit." Taylin closed her eyes and opened them. They were once again glassy grey-blue orbs.
"I didn't want to..." Jatar would regret what he was about to ask, but it had to be done.
"What did he do to you?" She was quiet for a moment, then sighed, seeing as it was inevitable for him to learn the truth.
"Six years ago, when I was twelve, Ukaran came to my village. He heard that I was the angel of life, and designator protector of our village." Jatar was intently listening to her every word.
"He...he took hostage of my mother and demanded to see me. He w-wanted me to slaughter the children of the village...in return for my mother's life..." she saw the rage on Jatar's face.
"That...that...COLD HEARTED SON OF A BITCH!" he clenched his fists in pure rage.
Taylin nodded in agreement. "But even after...I did what he demanded..." tears began to roll off her face, which didn't go unnoticed by Jatar. "...he went back on his word..." Jatar was shocked and horrified all at the same.
"He didn't..." His face went went from enraged, to sad, then shocked, then back to rage. Taylin looked out the window sadly.
"I saw her face. She was in so much pain. But she looked as if...she understood the conditions, and forgave me...but I know that will never be true." Her voice died off at the end, but Jatar heard those last words.
"You're wrong, Tay. You shouldn't think that way. It will just make you more upset. Please, I can't bear to see you this way..."
"If I knew she would have died anyway, those little kids would still be alive! I could have chosen to let one person die instead of many." She crumbled the sheets in her fists. She then stood up. Jatar followed suit.
"You didn't have that knowledge." Taylin begins to leave the room before Jatar called after her. "Tay..."
She pauses, and looks back slightly.
"Don't beat yourself up over this. I'll bet your mom gave up her place in heaven just for this one day for her revenge on him. So I bet she doesn't feel resentment even the slightest. After all, how can a person who holds grudges ever have been the mother of someone as sweet as you?" He gives her a smile, and was rewarded with a small one from Taylin. She continued on her trip and left the room.
'I hope you'll be okay, Tay...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Taylin ran into Kogashi in the hallway.
"Kogashi..." Taylin looked down in shame. "I'm sorry...I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay. No harm done." Yosha walked up behind him.
"I wouldn't have let someone defend me." Jatar was behind her.
"Shut up Yosha and heel!" Thanks to Kyoki's spell, when someone mentioned the word 'heel', it made his body extremely heavy and would fall onto his side because he couldn't handle the weight.
"At least Ukaran is dead." A small, creepy smile graced her features, which freaked everyone out, except for Yosha, who was a grumbling mess on the floor. "Although I thought vengence would feel better than this."
"They say that vengence is bitter sweet." Taylin nodded in agreement.
"Seems so."
///////////////////////////
PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW!