Fan Fiction ❯ Memory ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own Power Rangers: Time Force. It belongs to Saban.

Backdating: This was written in April 2002.

You know, I can honestly believe I once loved Jen.

She seems like a very nice person. I have some photographs of her on the wall. In some of them, she’s with me. In others, she isn’t. In all of them, she’s smiling, having fun. I even have a few holograms, the really expensive kind. I must have really cared for this girl. The few memories I retain of her are all nice ones, caring ones. I was definitely in love.

I know she loved me. The expression on her face, when she realized I was still alive – I’ll never forget that. It was almost painful, to be so short and abrupt with her. To see her face fall when I refused to acknowledge her as anything other than a subordinate. I know I hurt her.

It was better that way. That’s what I kept telling myself. Better that she stopped thinking of me as her fiancée. And when I saw the way she treated Wes – I knew I was right. It was better that way. She should have someone who truly loves her. Not someone who can’t remember ever loving her.

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, I worry about her more than the rest of the team. I’m more concerned about her safety than Katie’s, or Trip’s. And I definitely care more for her than for Lucas. But it’s not because I love her. It’s because she’s the only person I even remember.

I think Trip’s figured it out by now. It doesn’t surprise me. Zybrians are psychic, after all. Trip may not be as strong as his elders, but he's smart enough to figure out my mind. But no one else knows, and he won’t tell. He respects my right to keep it a secret.

I think. I hope.

I want to be the one who tells Jen. Which means I should do it soon, before I hurt her anymore. But it’s so hard.... It’s obvious she loves me. I don’t want to look her in the eye and tell her I don’t love her anymore.

Even if it’s the truth.

Sometimes I wish they hadn’t been able to save me. That I’d really died there. They saved my body – but not my mind. Not my memory. The doctors said most of it would come back. Most of it did. But not the parts that were obviously the most important to me. I can’t remember being a Ranger. I can’t remember working with my teammates.

I can’t remember loving Jen.