Fan Fiction ❯ Mocking Mary ❯ I'm not dead!! ( Chapter 14 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Do I have an Oscar? Must not be mine then.

Woo! How bout the Academy Awards last night! LotR cleaned up!

LP: And QoS is something vaguely resembling sane again.

I am SO SORRY that I haven't updated for a week. I do have a reason though. I had a bad month last week. Most of it was spent doing things like reinstalling windows after my computer crashed. Backing up my files which - thank GOD - I was able to rescue. Writing three papers on a semi working computer. Reinstating the factory settings on my computer to make it work again. It's all good now though! Only problem is I forgot to bring the Word Perfect disk to school so I don't have my preferred word processor. But I do have Microsoft Works, and that opens .wpd files, so I could get my stuff open. Yeah, my week has sucked. I'm back though! However, I have spring break next week, so no updates. At least this time you'll know, right? I promise I have not once entertained thoughts of ending the fic, so don't worry about that.

LP: We weren't.

I wasn't talking to you, plushie boy.

Today's installment thanks to: Carcilwen Greenleaf

*************************************************************

Princess Mary Sue was the most perfect human princess in all of Middle Earth. Her long, perfect golden hair reached to her waist, and she always had the most fashionable gowns. At the moment, though, the perfect princess was perfectly miserable. She looked around the Forest of Mirkwood and sighed. She didn't want to be here, but her parents had a quarrel with King Thranduil and they wanted to argue in person. It was easier to insult each other that way. She sat on a small bridge over a small stream, which looked suspiciously like a similar location in Rivendell shown in the movie version of The Fellowship of the Ring.

As she sat tossing pebbles into the water, a young Elf (young? Any Elf remaining in Middle Earth at the time of the War of the Ring had to be around three thousand years old at the very least) came up behind her. He had been walking through the woods when he had happened upon the unhappy princess, at which point his brains turned to mush and started leaking out of his ears. As a result the leaves where he had been standing were rather messy, covered in liquefied Elf brains. Once his IQ had dropped sufficiently he became smitten with the young princess, though he knew absolutely nothing about her.

The handsome Elf gently tapped the girl on the shoulder to get her attention. She jumped in surprise, knocking her remaining pebbles into the water with a large splash. She whirled and he stepped back, trying to apologize.

"I'm sorry my lady, I did not mean to frighten you."

"That's alright, I did not expect anyone to be here. Why are you here, have my parents sent for me?"

No longer having the intellect to comprehend her self-centered comment, he ignored it. "No, my lady, they haven't."

"Oh. Alright then. Who are you?"

"My name is Legolas, my lady."

Suddenly she remembered that King Thranduil had a son named Legolas. For once able to put two and two together, she realized that this might be the prince himself.

"Are you . . . *Prince* Legolas?"

"Yes, my lady. I am. My I escort you back to the castle?"

Princess Mary swallowed hard and tried to think what to do. Their parents were enemies, so . . . Shouldn't they be enemies, too? But he was so kind and handsome. Ignoring the cliché-ness of the whole 'star-crossed lovers' situation she thought for a moment before she decided that she didn't care what her parents said about it.

"Yes, you may." She took his arm and they left.

After their initial meeting they continued to have a clandestine relationship, hiding from their parents who would not approve. Finally Legolas proposed, and they decided that they had to tell their parents. For some reason - *cough*author's whim*cough* - her parents took it incredibly well and gave the happy couple their blessing. King Thranduil, however, was not quite as thrilled. His son had been acting oddly ever since he met that girl, and he didn't think it was love. The prince's eyes were oddly blank and he seemed almost wooden. Still, he could not say no and could only hope that whatever was causing Legolas to act so strangely would wear off and he would get his son back.

So Legolas and Princess Mary Sue were married, and she soon became pregnant. If you wanted a lemon scene, use your imagination. The couple was very happy and eagerly awaited the birth of their child. However, when the child was born tragedy (or was it?) struck. Princess Mary died giving birth to the child. When the princess died Legolas immediately snapped back to his old self, though his memories of the last several years were a little fuzzy. Happily the child survived (cause the author has a weakness for cute little children) and grew up to be more like his father than his mother.

*******************************************************

Ahhh, feels good to get another chapter out.

LP: About time, too.

Meanie. Anyway, thank you all for bearing with me, and I'll try to get a couple more chapters out before spring break. If I have time I'll post a bunch before I leave, but I'm not promising anything.

LP: Then why'd you mention it?

Oh go away. Well, thank you all! See you all next time!

Next time: Estel-rules