Fan Fiction ❯ Mocking Mary ❯ 'Messing Sue' ....is anyone still here? ( Chapter 18 )

Disclaimer: Does anyone actually read these?

Wow, I'm not dead! I am SO SORRY that I've taken so long to update, but Real Life got in the way, and then I lost all will to write this. I feel really bad, cause I'd been looking forward to this chapter, and I just couldn't write! It was only this fic too, I actually posted and have been updating another one in the interim. So I feel really bad. But classes are over, and once finals week (this week) is over I should have more time. However, I don't know exactly when I'll get my computer set up at home, and I need a special part to use the wireless DSL at home, so I might not have internet access on this computer for awhile. These circumstances are beyond my control, cause I can't set up the computer even until my desk comes in. And I don't know when I'll be able to get the part. I'll try to update again this week, but no guarantees. I'm really sorry.

Today's madness due to: c-marabini!

********************************************************

Mary Sue slowly stirred and opened her eyes. She sat straight upright when she realized she was laying on grass outside rather than in her bed, which was the last thing she remembered. There had been something hard under her head, and she looked down to see the copy of Lord of the Rings that she had hidden under her pillow the night before. She thought about her situation for a moment and her eyes widened. Suddenly she jumped to her feet squealing. She was in Middle Earth!! She was in Lord of the Rings!! She had the entire history of the War of the Ring at her fingertips, and she could make sure that things happened right.

After poking around for several minutes, she discovered that she was in Rivendell. She arrived at the council just in time to hear Frodo announce that he would take the ring to Mordor. She quickly got herself included in the newly formed Fellowship due to her self-proclaimed superior knowledge of Middle Earth.

Once they set out she constantly flipped through her book to see what would happen next, and steal all the best and most important lines. When they stopped for the night she delighted in staring at Boromir with an evil smile on her face. This irritated him, so he was prone to snap at her every few minutes.

First he would glare at her, but she wouldn't stop. Then he would snap at her and tell her to quit it. This still wouldn't stop her, so after a few more minutes he would sigh and ask her why she was staring at him. Her grin would grow and in a sing-song voice she would reply, "You're going to diii-eeee." This only served to annoy him further, so he would snap back that no, he was NOT going to die, and walk away from her. Then she would go over an ogle Legolas for the rest of the night. This annoyed the Elf to no end, but there was no way to stop her short of killing her. After a few nights he began to consider this as a viable option.

Mary also used her book to steal the canon character's thunder at important points of the journey. For example, she made sure that SHE was the one to announce that the black cloud was `Crebain, from Dunland!" Afterwards while climbing Mt. Caradhras she kept muttering that they were just going to go through the Mines of Moria anyway, which delighted Gimli and annoyed the rest of the group. After the unusual snowfall when Frodo announced that they would go through the Mines she did an annoying little dance while singing "Told ya so, told ya so, told ya, told ya, told ya so!" She had seen it on TV once. Her triumph didn't stop her from informing Gimli that his cousin Balin was dead every five minutes however. He was terribly disappointed when he discovered that she was right.

Throughout the Mines she went on about the number of Orcs there, the Cave Troll, and the Balrog that would attack Gandalf. The canon characters were rather annoyed to discover that they were all real. Once Gandalf was thrown into the chasm she brightly informed the others that he wasn't dead, he would be back in the next book. They just looked at her like she was crazy and continued mourning as they ran.

She had rather less fun in Lothlorien, having to endure suspicious looks from Galadriel and having both the guard and her companions raise their weapons every time they saw her. Her companions constantly glared at her and thought murderous thoughts, unfortunately this did not stop her annoying chatter.

Once the Fellowship started down the Anduin she began talking about an orc attack. They ignored her as usual. Her remarks about Boromir's death increased in frequency, and he was ready to kill her himself by the time they reached Amon Hen. Sure enough, the Orcs attacked and Boromir received multiple arrow wounds while trying to rescue Merry and Pippin. As his vision went dark he swore he could hear a voice chanting "Told ya so, told ya so, told ya, told ya, told ya so!"

When Aragorn, Legolas and Gimly sent his body over the Falls of Rauros, they tied Mary Sue up and sent her over after him. They took great pleasure in listening to her scream as she fell.

*************************************************************** ****

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, I still feel really bad about not touching this fic for so long. I took out the notebook I wrote the suggestions in, I stared at page trying to come up with a chapter, and felt my brain shrivel up in protest. I couldn't focus. But it's better now! So hopefully I'll have more regular updates over the summer!

One more thing: I was thinking about changing my pen name to `Black Roses.' Thoughts?

Next time: Sponge!