Fan Fiction ❯ Ocarina of Time: An Alternate Ending ❯ Chapter 1

A/N: Really sorry if the beginning part of this sounds too serious. Believe me, the fic itself isn't going to be. ;) A quick warning that there will most definetly be spoilers for those who haven't beaten the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time game yet. Boo. Oh, and some mild OOCness will be in this fic as well. Fear.

Oh yeah, and I don't own Legend of Zelda; it's aaaall Nintendo's. Not mine. I'm broke. :P

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Link rushed up the stairs of Ganondorf's castle, panting, worried about what was happening to Princess Zelda right now. Was she being tortured? Or worse? No time to put thought into this, she needed his help.

Navi flew after him, fluttering her little wings as fast as she could. Link was tempted to stop to take a few deep breaths, but time was of the essence at this moment, and he couldn't afford to lose any of it. He clutched his aching ribs as he ran up the last few flights of stairs until he made it to his final destination--the king Ganondorf's room. With that, he barged into the room, sword out, shield in front, ready to fight the evil king.

"Ahh, so you've finally come, kid..."

Link had to wince at the "kid" part of his sentence. Honestly, could he not tell he was a man? But, of course, he knew he shouldn't fire up too easily, or else it'd distract him, thus making him a more vulnerable target.

Ganondorf appeared to be playing the pipe organ, to give his room a more ominous atmosphere, though, after all he, Link, had been through, it didn't scare him at all to say the least.

"Doesn't scare you, boy?" Ganondorf said with a laugh.

Link said nothing; his silence would tell Ganondorf just how resistant he was.

"Well, this'll surely scare you..."

At first, Link wasn't sure what Ganondorf could possibly do to scare him, but then...

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!"

Link gave a yell of utter terror of hearing Ganondorf, of all people, singing a song that made absolutely no sense. What was peanut butter? Or jelly for that matter? Whatever it was, it was scaring the poor young Hylian to death. Yet, mixed with his scream, was the scream of Princess Zelda. He looked up and saw her, isolated in the ruby crystal as she was before when Ganondorf had caught her talking to him.

Link wanted to shout out Zelda's name, but he was too distracted by Ganondorf's song. He clamped his hands over his ears, but still couldn't mute the horrible song from his ears.

"ENOUGH! I believe you have both suffered enough..." Ganondorf said, turning around to face the Hero of Time, "Now, boy, the duel between you and I, will finally begin!"

And it was about time that Ganondorf finally got into the fighting spirit! Link threatingly pointed his sword at Ganondorf, a glare in his eye.

"You've really got to find yourself a GIRL, mate," laughed Ganondorf as he, to Link's astonishment, rose from the floor, black armor glinting in the light of the room, velvet cape gently fluttering behind him. Link could no longer reach him.

"LINK!" yelled Princess Zelda from inside the crystal above, "Link, your arrows!"

His arrows! The light-magic ones that Rauru had given him! He could use those to shoot Ganondorf! Link immediately pulled his bow out from underneath his tunic, and then pulled one of his magical light arrows out from his quiver, only to feel himself being hit painfully by Ganondorf's dark magic.

"Damn, it SMARTS!" cursed Link under his breath as he clutched his ribs, "You needed to hit THERE out of all places...JUST AFTER I BEGAN LOSING ALL OF MY BREATH AND BEGAN GETTING AN ACHE RIGHT THERE? YOU BASTARD!"

Ganondorf laughed and said, "First of all, I am not an orphan, my dear mum is still alive...oh, mummy... and in my castle. No idea where, actually. Thusly, that makes your use of the word, 'bastard', politcally incorrect. Second of all, quit being such a cowardly arse. Thirdly, I don't believe the word 'bastard' was considered a profanity word during this time."

"Oh fine, then," moaned Link, "If you want to be historically-accurate...oh, CORPUS BONES!"

"That's it," growled Ganondorf, "You shall pay for dare insulting this king!"

Yet, before Ganondorf could make his move, Link shot his light arrow straight into the heart (if he even has one) of Ganondorf. Ganondorf let out a yell of pain as he fell onto the floor. This gave Link the chance to finally use his sword. He quickly ran up to the crumpled king, and gave him a few hearty blows of his Master Sword. Thus, Ganondorf yelled again, and fainted to the ground.

Link panted, whiping sweat from his brow, but then stopped to see Princess Zelda floating down in her crystal above him, smiling at him. He, too, smiled, glad to see her. But then, without warning, the crystal disappeared, and Zelda dropped out of the crystal and fell smack on top of him, letting out a squeal of surprise.

"Ohhh, confound it all!" shouted Zelda, "At least I'm out of that horrid crystal....I admit, I am quite claustrophic, so it was quite a terrifying experience..."

"Good..." muttered Link, "Now...will you be as so kind as to get off me?"

"Oh, so sorry!" giggled Zelda as she got off Link, who gave a sigh of relief as she got off.

But then there was a rumbling sound going on in the castle...and then...

"HA! DID YOU THINK I'D LOSE SO EASILY TO TWO MAGGOTS LIKE YOU?" boomed the voice of Ganondorf, "I'M NOT FINISHED! I'LL GET YOU, MY PRETTY, AND YOUR LITTLE PRINCESS, TOO!"

Zelda shrieked, Link grasped her arm, they ran out of the collapsing castle, away from the sounds of the cackling Ganondorf.

"You're the Hero of Time, aren't you?" panted Zelda as she ran with him through the castle, "Can't you make time STOP?"

"No can do," sighed Link, "Unless you have a pedestal with you..."

"LINK! LOOK OUT!" shrieked Navi.

"Huh? AAAAUGH!" Link then felt the pain of a firey boulder crushing him. It was thankfully a weak one, but it still hurt. Link yelled in pain as the fire from the boulder began consuming his body in flames.

"Quick!" screamed Zelda, "Uh...STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Just do it!"

With that, Link dropped to the ground and rolled on the floor. To his surprise, the flames disappeared.

"Th-they disappeared!" laughed Link with relief, "Like magic!"

He then felt a large shadow cast over him, as he looked up to see a great big Dodongo, standing on its hind legs over him, a large hat on top of its head.

Link pulled out his sword to fight this beast, but the Dodongo simply pointed at him and said, "Only YOU can prevent castle fires," and disappeared.

"What was that about?" Link asked Zelda.

"No idea," answered Zelda, "But always listen to Pokey the Dodongo! Now let's go!"

After a few more rooms and flights of stairs, they made it out of the castle, tired, and ready to fall asleep.

"Oh it's over," panted Zelda, "Thank Din, it's finally over..."

"And thank Nayru."

"And Farore."

"And the wood-pecker! HUHUHU-HAHAHA!-HUHUHU-HAHAHA!-HUHUHUH!"

"Princess?"

"Yes?"

"What's that...wood-pecker doing here? And why is he laughing like maniac?"

"No idea, really."

Zelda, Link, and Navi (ignoring the wood-pecker) began turning around, only to hear the sound of rumbling yet again.

"LINK! BEHIND YOU!" shrieked Zelda.

Link turned around to see Ganondorf burst out of the ashes and remainings of his castle, now hovering over Link in the air yet again.

"NOW I WILL CRUSH YOU! AND NAVI! AND RAURU! AND SARIA! AND IMPA! AND NABOORU! AND RUTO! AND DARUNIA! AND THEN I'LL CRUSH PRINCESS ZELDA! YEEEAAAARGH!"

"Getting a little excited, are we?" muttered Link as he pulled out his Master Sword to fight Ganondorf once again.

But then, something happened that Link did not expect. He saw Ganondorf transform into a great, Minotaur-like beast, with large, poweful, golden blades in his hands.

"Dear me, Link," sighed Navi, "They never do give you a break, now, do you?"

Ganondorf then laughed, "Away with you, fairy! I DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!"

Navi gave a small shriek and then fell to the ground.

"Navi!" sobbed Link, "Navi, please don't be dead! Please!"

"You silly ass..." muttered Navi with her last breath, her light dimmed, as she died.

"NO! NAVI!" cried Link, "I...I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!"

Fortunately, once Link said this, Navi rose from the dead, her light now bright again.

"What was that, Link?" asked Zelda.

"I like to call it..." he then smiled, "Plot device."

Ganondorf gave a scream of fury as he slashed Link with one of his swords. Though Link was now knocked off of his feet and bleeding, he managed to get up again.

"But...you should just give up!" cried Ganondorf, "Bloody hell, boy, you're BLEEDING!"

"'Tis only a flesh wound!" laughed Link.

"If I had a penny for everytime that joke was said..." whispered Navi bitterly.

"Now, let's finish this!" Link exclaimed triumphantly.

Link dashed towards Ganondorf, and stabbed him in his long, thrashing tail. Ganondorf fell to the ground, giving grunts of, "If only I had a brain..." Link then gave him a few last blows of his sword, green blood spurting of Ganondorf's body as he performed the brutal action.

"Well done, Link!" cried Zelda, sheading tears of happiness, "Allow me to seal away this grotesque beast..."

"You mean allow, US, to seal away this grotesque beast," boomed a voice.

"Oh, yes, Rauru," Zelda said unenthusiastically, "I meant 'us'..."

Zelda cast a spell on Ganondorf, the Sages sealing him in the Sacred Realm in response.(A/N: the reason there is no long, beautifully-written, in-depth description of this is because the writer is too lazy to do so.)

"Aaaaugh, curses, foiled again!" shouted Ganondorf within the Sacred Realm, "You may have won this time....BUT I'LL BE BAAAACK! (TM)"

"Link..." said Zelda, turning to face him, "Rather than kiss you and marry you and live happily ever after...I'm afraid we must go our seperate ways (TM)..."

"Princess..." Link began grasping Zelda's silk-gloved hands, "Are you sure about this?"

"Of course," Zelda said sadly, "Now, here's what you must do...you need to walk down that path WITHOUT LOOKING BACK or else Ganondorf will return. All right?"

"I guess--"

"YES, Princess," Navi said, wanting to escape this seemingly-perpetual sap-fest, "Come, Link..."

"B-but..."

"I SAID, COME!"

Link said his good-byes to Zelda and headed down the path with Navi. But a strange feeling came over the young Hylian...he felt the need to doze off....

Link woke up in his bed, panting and sweating.

"Good morning, Link," said the warm, motherly voice of Impa, standing over his bed.

"Auntie Impa! Auntie Impa!" Link cried, "I-I had this strange dream I was....a...a MAN! And, and then I had to collect these shiny rocks, and jewelry, and I had to save a princess, and, and..." he looked around and pointed at Saria who was standing next to Impa, "Saria! Y-you were there! In my dream! And Darunia, you-you were there, too! And you were there, and you were there, and..."

Fin.

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A/N: Oh yes, and I forgot to mention, I didn't make the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" song. Found it on a website, not mine. Also, I didn't make Woody Wood-Pecker either, though I love that obnoxious bird to death. Oh, and has anyone read Peter Pan? Remember how Tinker Bell's last words were, "You silly ass"? 'nuff said. Oh well, hope y'all enjoyed it! Reviews please! Nice, sincere, reviews! :3