Fan Fiction ❯ Of Psychotic Benders, Non-Benders, and Sporks ❯ Finding Sporky ( Chapter 15 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Damona 
-gasp- CHARACTER 'DEATH!'
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 07.29.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 150 | Status: Completed
-gasp- CHARACTER 'DEATH!'
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 07.29.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 150 | Status: Completed
Nar: but I don’t wanna end it!!!
Damona :... we promised the people who hate this fan fiction we would end it at 15... too bad for them we're going to make a sequel MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Nen: allllrrriiighty then...
Damona: did you just say 'allllrrriiighty then?' THE MIMES ARE COMING, THE MIMES ARE COMING, RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIVVVVVEEEESSS!!!
Nen: and I'll say it again, too... -grins-
Chapter Fifteen: Finding Sporky
"Let me get this straight... you ran five miles straight for a coin that's not worth a single fucking cent, but you didn't see fit to stop at the three block mark on your way past it so you might have the opportunity to find the Legendary Sporky of the Legendary Legend of the Legend of Sporky’s Legend and Sporky too? And one billion of those stupid coins at the same exact time, effectively creating a new advanced currency and saving mankind? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!?" Link yelled at Damona. Damona just sat there laughing her ass off, the monkey's controlling her desperately doing the Overload Abort-Mission symbol dance.
"I think Cody did say something about some cave, now that I think about it...," Damona said two hours later when everyone came back after lunch. The monkey's had finished their ritual and Damona felt and looked blissfully ignorant, face completely blank.
"What?! Where is he now!?" Everyone yelled at her. Her eyebrows knitted together for a moment as she thought, and then a flimsy broken candle with a pathetic flame popped up over her head, signifying she had just had a thought worth mentioning. (kind of...)
"Oh! He's in the Cave of Rejection!" She said happily, absolutely beaming because she had remembered something that happened before breakfast of that morning. Nen and Nargul visibly paled.
"Why does something tell me that's bad...," Josh said, looking at Nen's face. It was now turning a lovely shade of dark violet and she was making choking noises.
"It's a re-education camp for all of Mona's reject-ee's," Nargul said solemnly.
"Reject-ee's?" Sokka asked, raising an eyebrow.
Nen nodded, the choking sounds (for the most part) had subsided. "The thousands of losers she's rejected." Sokka looked as if he were about to faint.
"GO GET HIM THEN!" Link suddenly yelled, looking absolutely horrified by all this.
0o0o
"Damona Junior number 626, stop necking with Fred and do your job!" Damona barked at her hologram, who instantly stood at attention with Fred by the stainless steel gates.
"M-m’am...," the hologram stuttered. "What business do you have here? It could be dangerous!"
"My business is my own. Open the damn gates," Damona said, sounding professional for once until both her and the hologram burst out laughing. It took a few minutes of rolling on the floor laughing before they suddenly stood up again, completely professional but for snow stuck to their ass.
"We had an attempted escape... Would you like to see what's left of him?" the hologram asked, her smirk mirroring Damona's perverted cereal-killer one.
"Nah. What number was he though?"
"Number 268."
"Ah. He was one of the cute one's, eh? Only had a year left?"
"That's the one."
"Let him go. I'm here to retrieve number 666, Cody Ydoc."
"Him? Eh, a loser. Nice young chap I suppose. Not your type though."
"You mean not your type- FRED GET THE FUCK OFF HER- so could ya open the gates?"
"No problem." the hologram whistled to the henchman and they opened the gates. The man-genital-eating sporks backed into a corner whimpering as Damona stalked by. as soon as she walked in to the large auditorium filled with doors and torture devices the doors to the dorms opened one by one Damona heard sniffing
"Damona ,my pet, do I smell you , do I see you ? -"
"BACK THE FUCK OFF !" Damona snapped her fingers and all of the men went scampering back into their two person rooms to make out with their roommates who had Damona’s pictures on their faces Damona finally stopped in front of a door that read 35b she knocked
"Cody I know you are in there "Cody stepped out he was thankfully in one of the new rooms that were only made for one person so he only got to make out with his hand which was red and pruny . this had obviously been going on for a while; he look heavily drugged.
"we need you come with me " Cody followed Damona thankful he would never have to watch the littlest happiest that ever existed while eating a fucked up milk shake which was chunky .
0o0o
"Soooo, Nar, do you have a -"
"Cave of rejection? Yeah. It has pink padded walls and you are forced to wear pink frilly clothes. Also you have to listen to the Littlest Happiest Hyper Cheebie Elf that ever existed all the time till you turn gay, and then you are released into another pink padded room with a gay ass mime. We have quite a few in stock, seeing as one of them got away-"
"That’s why we have these," Nen said, pointing to the tranquilizer guns at their sides as Damona walked in with Cody at her side.
"Soo Nen has a cave too?" Josh asked cautiously.
"No. Nen just turns the guys into jelly and eats them" Link looked scared
"Oh. N-n-n-nice.... nice to know...," Link said, slowly taking his arm, which he had snaked around her waist, back and creeping towards the tent flap.
"No Link, not you. No, I promise I wont turn you into jelly," Nen laughed as Link slid his arm around her once more.
"Got him!"
"Ok, now Cody we need you to take us to the place where you found the flower," Damona said slowly so as he could understand.
"Mkay," Cody said, leading them down a long and winding path towards a ladder on top of a tall hill. It climbed up the side of the largest cliff in Tallanther- the Entrance into Jelly World.
0o0o
Damona turned the corner first and gasped. There, as Cody had described, sat a petite rainbow colored spork on a pedestal with a heavenly light shining down on it from seemingly nowhere. "At last! The Legendary Sporky of the Legendary Legend of the Legend of Sporky's Legend in hardcover, and-," here everybody gasped as they, too, rounded the corner into the cave and saw it," the Legendary Sporky."
As everybody dropped to their knees and started making low bows repeatedly, Damona ran to Sporky in slow motion. It took a good ten minutes for everyone to stop bowing and for Damona to go the two steps in slow-mo run. She took the last step as a lunge.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-h a-ha-ha-ha-,"
"Damnit Mona will you just shut up already and hand over the spork now that we know it's not booby-trapped?" Nargul asked, taking a step forward.
"HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI-," started a girl of around fifteen, jumping up and down in a extremely hyper manner and sloshing a cup of Starbucks coffee down her front as she ran up to everyone in the group and force-fed them what was left of the coffee," (Damona: lol. Hiya Myst! ) My name's Myst Oak, and I'm on an expedition to force-feed everyone in the Avatar world... COFFEE! Please donate to this honorable cause!" She yelled over her shoulder as she ran off screaming into the distance.
"O....k... then....," Josh said, looking after her until she was a dot on the skyline.
"PIZZAZAZITSIT!" Damona screamed, pointing Sporky at Nargul. Instantly, the colors on 'The Spork' started swirling around in her hand, and Nargul's hair turned a hot pink.
0o0o
Half way around the world, Melone suddenly had a huge bald spot on the back of her head, and the hair that was left to her turned an ugly spinach green.
0o0o
"Take this, chocolate boy!" she screeched, turning Sporky on Josh. His hair turned blue with purple poka dots. It continued on this way for a while until Aang suddenly had knee length black hair, Katara was a red-head, Sokka was completely bald, and Link had turned blonde. He was the only one that looked good with this new adaptation. Nen was the only one left untouched.
"MWAHAHAHA! TOGETHER, SPORKY AND I SHALL RULE THE WORLD AND NO ONE CAN STOP US! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! NO ONE I TELL YOU, NO ONE! MWAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA-,"
While Damona was still laughing manically, Nen rolled her eyes and said," Aw bullshit. I can solve this easily." She walked over to Damona and flicked her on the nose. You see, with the combination of a light draft running through this tunnel and how incredibly light weight Damona was, when Nen flicked her she went flying back over the edge of the cliff, arms spread as if she were trying to fly. She was fine like that for a few minutes, just floating on the wind over a sixty foot drop into concentrated jelly, until she looked down. It had a cartoon effect. As soon as she saw what lay below her, Damona stopped mid-MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- and fell, dropping the Great, Wondrous Sporky. Instantly, Sporky went zipping back to it's place on the pedestal and everyone's hair went back to normal, except Link's and Melone's, because both looked better that way.
Nen walked over to the edge and looked down, just as Damona broke the surface of the jelly and faded out of sight. The look on her face had been that of mingled surprise and fear. Nen took of her jacket and started rolling up her sleeves, prepared to jump in after her until Link grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back.
"What the hell?!" she yelled angrily.
"You can't go get her... she- she can't come back...," Link said sadly.
"What?" Nen said, her expression going blank. Her gaze shifted from Link over to Nargul, who nodded to her as if to confirm what he just said with a solemn expression on her face.
"Eh, what the hell," Cody said, and all of a sudden did a swan dive off the cliff .
"bloody fucking idiot "Nar’s voice rang out through the sobs "I -I I " Josh hugged her
"well I am off to the bar link ? " link looked up solemnly and nodded putting his hand on her back as they made their way to the capital city of Tallanther
"Nar hunny I think we should go get out of this cave get some fresh air o.k. ? " he lifted her chin and she nodded too he took her hand and just before they left
"what do we do ? " said Aang ,Katara and Sokka in unison
"go and help Aang our quest is over sooner or later we'll meet again I just have that feeling . bye friends we all just have breathe till then...," Josh said. The camera backed away from them in a great swooping gesture until all you could see were their outlines at the almost-top of the tallest cliff in Tallanther, a rainbow arching over them.
0o0o
Damona: -STARTS CRYING- SOOOOOOOOOOO beautiful.... wait- WTF? I DIE! - WANHHHHHHH!-Nen and Nar joins in this bawling with Damona and this turns into a great big wet hug
Nar : whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa!!!!!!!!!
Nen : I don’t want end wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Damona : it didn’t get my review goal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Nar: and Damona had my dollar in her pocket when she fell !!!!!!!!!!!!!wahhhhhhhhhh
Nen : and she owes me two bucks !!! waaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhh!!!
Damona, Nen and Nar: -tearing up- the- the-.... WAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNHHHHH!!!! seq-sequel... will be posted.... tonight... PLEASE REVIEW! WAAAAAANNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHH!
Damona :... we promised the people who hate this fan fiction we would end it at 15... too bad for them we're going to make a sequel MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Nen: allllrrriiighty then...
Damona: did you just say 'allllrrriiighty then?' THE MIMES ARE COMING, THE MIMES ARE COMING, RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIVVVVVEEEESSS!!!
Nen: and I'll say it again, too... -grins-
Chapter Fifteen: Finding Sporky
"Let me get this straight... you ran five miles straight for a coin that's not worth a single fucking cent, but you didn't see fit to stop at the three block mark on your way past it so you might have the opportunity to find the Legendary Sporky of the Legendary Legend of the Legend of Sporky’s Legend and Sporky too? And one billion of those stupid coins at the same exact time, effectively creating a new advanced currency and saving mankind? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!?" Link yelled at Damona. Damona just sat there laughing her ass off, the monkey's controlling her desperately doing the Overload Abort-Mission symbol dance.
"I think Cody did say something about some cave, now that I think about it...," Damona said two hours later when everyone came back after lunch. The monkey's had finished their ritual and Damona felt and looked blissfully ignorant, face completely blank.
"What?! Where is he now!?" Everyone yelled at her. Her eyebrows knitted together for a moment as she thought, and then a flimsy broken candle with a pathetic flame popped up over her head, signifying she had just had a thought worth mentioning. (kind of...)
"Oh! He's in the Cave of Rejection!" She said happily, absolutely beaming because she had remembered something that happened before breakfast of that morning. Nen and Nargul visibly paled.
"Why does something tell me that's bad...," Josh said, looking at Nen's face. It was now turning a lovely shade of dark violet and she was making choking noises.
"It's a re-education camp for all of Mona's reject-ee's," Nargul said solemnly.
"Reject-ee's?" Sokka asked, raising an eyebrow.
Nen nodded, the choking sounds (for the most part) had subsided. "The thousands of losers she's rejected." Sokka looked as if he were about to faint.
"GO GET HIM THEN!" Link suddenly yelled, looking absolutely horrified by all this.
0o0o
"Damona Junior number 626, stop necking with Fred and do your job!" Damona barked at her hologram, who instantly stood at attention with Fred by the stainless steel gates.
"M-m’am...," the hologram stuttered. "What business do you have here? It could be dangerous!"
"My business is my own. Open the damn gates," Damona said, sounding professional for once until both her and the hologram burst out laughing. It took a few minutes of rolling on the floor laughing before they suddenly stood up again, completely professional but for snow stuck to their ass.
"We had an attempted escape... Would you like to see what's left of him?" the hologram asked, her smirk mirroring Damona's perverted cereal-killer one.
"Nah. What number was he though?"
"Number 268."
"Ah. He was one of the cute one's, eh? Only had a year left?"
"That's the one."
"Let him go. I'm here to retrieve number 666, Cody Ydoc."
"Him? Eh, a loser. Nice young chap I suppose. Not your type though."
"You mean not your type- FRED GET THE FUCK OFF HER- so could ya open the gates?"
"No problem." the hologram whistled to the henchman and they opened the gates. The man-genital-eating sporks backed into a corner whimpering as Damona stalked by. as soon as she walked in to the large auditorium filled with doors and torture devices the doors to the dorms opened one by one Damona heard sniffing
"Damona ,my pet, do I smell you , do I see you ? -"
"BACK THE FUCK OFF !" Damona snapped her fingers and all of the men went scampering back into their two person rooms to make out with their roommates who had Damona’s pictures on their faces Damona finally stopped in front of a door that read 35b she knocked
"Cody I know you are in there "Cody stepped out he was thankfully in one of the new rooms that were only made for one person so he only got to make out with his hand which was red and pruny . this had obviously been going on for a while; he look heavily drugged.
"we need you come with me " Cody followed Damona thankful he would never have to watch the littlest happiest that ever existed while eating a fucked up milk shake which was chunky .
0o0o
"Soooo, Nar, do you have a -"
"Cave of rejection? Yeah. It has pink padded walls and you are forced to wear pink frilly clothes. Also you have to listen to the Littlest Happiest Hyper Cheebie Elf that ever existed all the time till you turn gay, and then you are released into another pink padded room with a gay ass mime. We have quite a few in stock, seeing as one of them got away-"
"That’s why we have these," Nen said, pointing to the tranquilizer guns at their sides as Damona walked in with Cody at her side.
"Soo Nen has a cave too?" Josh asked cautiously.
"No. Nen just turns the guys into jelly and eats them" Link looked scared
"Oh. N-n-n-nice.... nice to know...," Link said, slowly taking his arm, which he had snaked around her waist, back and creeping towards the tent flap.
"No Link, not you. No, I promise I wont turn you into jelly," Nen laughed as Link slid his arm around her once more.
"Got him!"
"Ok, now Cody we need you to take us to the place where you found the flower," Damona said slowly so as he could understand.
"Mkay," Cody said, leading them down a long and winding path towards a ladder on top of a tall hill. It climbed up the side of the largest cliff in Tallanther- the Entrance into Jelly World.
0o0o
Damona turned the corner first and gasped. There, as Cody had described, sat a petite rainbow colored spork on a pedestal with a heavenly light shining down on it from seemingly nowhere. "At last! The Legendary Sporky of the Legendary Legend of the Legend of Sporky's Legend in hardcover, and-," here everybody gasped as they, too, rounded the corner into the cave and saw it," the Legendary Sporky."
As everybody dropped to their knees and started making low bows repeatedly, Damona ran to Sporky in slow motion. It took a good ten minutes for everyone to stop bowing and for Damona to go the two steps in slow-mo run. She took the last step as a lunge.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-h a-ha-ha-ha-,"
"Damnit Mona will you just shut up already and hand over the spork now that we know it's not booby-trapped?" Nargul asked, taking a step forward.
"HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI-," started a girl of around fifteen, jumping up and down in a extremely hyper manner and sloshing a cup of Starbucks coffee down her front as she ran up to everyone in the group and force-fed them what was left of the coffee," (Damona: lol. Hiya Myst! ) My name's Myst Oak, and I'm on an expedition to force-feed everyone in the Avatar world... COFFEE! Please donate to this honorable cause!" She yelled over her shoulder as she ran off screaming into the distance.
"O....k... then....," Josh said, looking after her until she was a dot on the skyline.
"PIZZAZAZITSIT!" Damona screamed, pointing Sporky at Nargul. Instantly, the colors on 'The Spork' started swirling around in her hand, and Nargul's hair turned a hot pink.
0o0o
Half way around the world, Melone suddenly had a huge bald spot on the back of her head, and the hair that was left to her turned an ugly spinach green.
0o0o
"Take this, chocolate boy!" she screeched, turning Sporky on Josh. His hair turned blue with purple poka dots. It continued on this way for a while until Aang suddenly had knee length black hair, Katara was a red-head, Sokka was completely bald, and Link had turned blonde. He was the only one that looked good with this new adaptation. Nen was the only one left untouched.
"MWAHAHAHA! TOGETHER, SPORKY AND I SHALL RULE THE WORLD AND NO ONE CAN STOP US! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! NO ONE I TELL YOU, NO ONE! MWAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA-,"
While Damona was still laughing manically, Nen rolled her eyes and said," Aw bullshit. I can solve this easily." She walked over to Damona and flicked her on the nose. You see, with the combination of a light draft running through this tunnel and how incredibly light weight Damona was, when Nen flicked her she went flying back over the edge of the cliff, arms spread as if she were trying to fly. She was fine like that for a few minutes, just floating on the wind over a sixty foot drop into concentrated jelly, until she looked down. It had a cartoon effect. As soon as she saw what lay below her, Damona stopped mid-MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- and fell, dropping the Great, Wondrous Sporky. Instantly, Sporky went zipping back to it's place on the pedestal and everyone's hair went back to normal, except Link's and Melone's, because both looked better that way.
Nen walked over to the edge and looked down, just as Damona broke the surface of the jelly and faded out of sight. The look on her face had been that of mingled surprise and fear. Nen took of her jacket and started rolling up her sleeves, prepared to jump in after her until Link grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back.
"What the hell?!" she yelled angrily.
"You can't go get her... she- she can't come back...," Link said sadly.
"What?" Nen said, her expression going blank. Her gaze shifted from Link over to Nargul, who nodded to her as if to confirm what he just said with a solemn expression on her face.
"Eh, what the hell," Cody said, and all of a sudden did a swan dive off the cliff .
"bloody fucking idiot "Nar’s voice rang out through the sobs "I -I I " Josh hugged her
"well I am off to the bar link ? " link looked up solemnly and nodded putting his hand on her back as they made their way to the capital city of Tallanther
"Nar hunny I think we should go get out of this cave get some fresh air o.k. ? " he lifted her chin and she nodded too he took her hand and just before they left
"what do we do ? " said Aang ,Katara and Sokka in unison
"go and help Aang our quest is over sooner or later we'll meet again I just have that feeling . bye friends we all just have breathe till then...," Josh said. The camera backed away from them in a great swooping gesture until all you could see were their outlines at the almost-top of the tallest cliff in Tallanther, a rainbow arching over them.
0o0o
Damona: -STARTS CRYING- SOOOOOOOOOOO beautiful.... wait- WTF? I DIE! - WANHHHHHHH!-Nen and Nar joins in this bawling with Damona and this turns into a great big wet hug
Nar : whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa!!!!!!!!!
Nen : I don’t want end wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Damona : it didn’t get my review goal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Nar: and Damona had my dollar in her pocket when she fell !!!!!!!!!!!!!wahhhhhhhhhh
Nen : and she owes me two bucks !!! waaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhh!!!
Damona, Nen and Nar: -tearing up- the- the-.... WAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNHHHHH!!!! seq-sequel... will be posted.... tonight... PLEASE REVIEW! WAAAAAANNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHH!