Fan Fiction ❯ Progression Denied ❯ 1 ( Chapter 1 )

It was a sunny afternoon in spring, birds were singing, the breeze was dancing around the trees and the streets were lively with children's laughter. Well, of course not all children were outside and getting the exercise they needed, here in El Paso, Texas...in fact, there was a very small faction that hardly every saw the light of day at all.

"5, 5, I need a five!!"

Somewhere, in the secret basement under a mobile home, were two teenagers glued to a TV screen.

"Sorry Eric, only 4! Your efforts to get the star were thwarted once again, " Steven laughed contently as Eric cringed at the thought of another loss to his arch-rival/best friend. For the last three hours they had been Mario Partying in the room they found a few months ago under Steven's Mobile home.

They had no idea how it got there, and if Eric had not accidentally stepped on the trap door while looking for a ball that had rolled under the building, it might have remained hidden for ages to come. This wasn't just any room; of course, the first thing you noticed was that it was not only immaculately clean but also well furnished. There was a soft dark-blue carpet on the floor; the walls were painted in the same blue colors along with little fish motives. There was a large 3-seater couch with little gargoyle imprints in front of the TV. The TV was probably the most spectacular sight of them all; the screen was as tall as the top of the room, which had to be at least a good 7 feet. It had a VCR and speakers, not to mention all the game stations/games you could think off. This was a nerd's paradise, and Eric and Steven knew exactly how lucky they were.

"Got it!!", Steven smiled triumphantly as his character, Mario, grabbed the star right in front of Eric's(Peaches) eyes.

"That makes 7 to 5 old bean, and just one round left!" Steven taunted Eric.

"Don't think you've won yet! I can still get the bonus stars!!!" Eric was never one to give up that easily so both of them once again were totally immersed in their game...

Meanwhile, somewhere in another dimension, a tiny spherical creature scowled at a screen in a dark room.

"There they are again, having fun and enjoying their fancy-schmancy video games. I've had enough..!" The creature suddenly stepped into a beam of light radiating from a far corner of the room, and we recognize a small boy with blonde hair and a pudgy face. It was Pokey!! Pokey, after having been defeated for good in the release of Earthbound(tm) 64, has been banished to this dark room, somewhere floating in space...from here he could watch all the activities in the world be it past, present, or future. He picked up a comic book from a small box stashed in the corner and threw it against the wall.

"I cannot believe that Eric's stupid comics actually will get published in the next 6 years!! They hardly even mention me, Pokey, master of evil, at all!!" Pokey was so mad; he could utter only stringy non-sensical words for a while. Through some sadistic device in his little room, he received certain mail from different time zones, and lately he has been getting a really special comic book.

"EarthboundX: The Final Redemption....why?? Eric is a no talent hack!" Pokey raved,

"These comics make little sense and I don't see how anyone could find them amusing. Computer, show me the gross income of Eric Peterson in the year 2012!!"

The Black screen suddenly whirled to life and showed a number of figures. Pokey looked at them with his mouth wide open.

"$6,000,000??? He will be worth 6 million dollars???"

"And 43 cents." chimed in the female computer voice. At this Pokey's face turned beat red. Suddenly, and smile crept across his twisted visage.

"Well, maybe I can put a stop to that. hehehehahahahahihihi..hohoho!".....

Back in El Paso, our two teen heroes had just finished their round of Mario Party.

"Told you those bonus stars would help me." Eric flashed an amused smile at Steven, who frowned back at him.

"Ok," Steven said," you won, happy?? I'm tired of video games lets go get some slurpees!"

"You said it!" With that they headed for the ladder that led to the scorching light of day. Eric grabbed the rungs and climbed up, but he stopped at the hatch that permitted entry.

"Uhhh, Steven...? This isn't opening."

"Let me try you weenie!" Steven pulled Eric down and ambled up himself, and after a while of pushing, banging and cursing, he came to the same conclusion.

"Ok, me thinks we're stuck here."

"That's right, birdbrain!" The voice came from the TV. Eric and Steven whirled around to behold Pokey's pudgy little face on the Screen.

"Hey, I know him!" said Eric, "Isn't that the fat looser kid from earthbound?"

"I am NOT a looser!! This even proves it!! I'm the one who barred the exit! You are trapped here for good!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Eric looked at the screen, half amused and half anxious.

"So you're just going to have us stay here forever? why?"

"As if you don't know...oh yeah...how could you. Let's just say I don't like you very much! And just locking you up seems like a silly thing to do. Of course I'm not a total ogre, look to the machine on your left. That is a food generator. Just ask it and it will make you a meal." Pokey proudly pointed to a bulgy machine left of the TV.

"So that's what that was," Eric said,

"I was wondering...hey, how come you know so much about this room??" Pokey smiled his most wicked of smiles.

"Well, Eric, I build this room. It was going to be a place where I could relax, eat and watch TV, but through some glitch in this STUPID computer, the whole room got beamed out into space somehow. I finally found it about a week ago, and have been observing you, and your stupid comic book ever since!"

Once again, his face turned the color of a fire truck and he took a moment of silence to calm down.

"Well," He started again, calmly ", I have a little surprise for you. Eric, your comic genius is going to be rather popular in the future, so I will make sure that I destroy your very essence...for good!!"

"Pretty melodramatic for some guy on the TV!" Chimed Eric.

"Yeah, what are you gonna do, stare at us a lot?" By now, Steven couldn't keep his laughter out of his voice.

"No, no, no, my little guinea pigs, I have something far more interesting to do with you. I figure, the only way to destroy your minds will be...to show you really bad fanfics!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...laugh with me!! MUAUAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Eric and Steven stared at each other for a second, and then cracked up into mild hysterics. Eric raised an eyebrow.

"You really think some bad stories could destroy my mind?? And who says I'm gonna watch in the first place?? I could just refuse!"

"Oh no, you can't, for you see, if you don't watch the fics, I will turn off the food generator, and you will be screwed! Screwed and Hungry!!"

"Fine," Steven groaned, "We'll, watch your stupid fics, now go away."

"Not so fast, Turkey! I see that the couch is a three-seater, and what is a three seater without a third person to torture!! Guess whom I had in mind?? Huh, can you guess?" Eric contemplated that for a second.

"Oh, I know!! It has to be Kathy Ireland...right?"

"You wish you foolish mortal!"

"Mortal, what are you then??"

"uhhh....none of your business. Anyway the person I have arranged to watch this putrid crap with you is....Your brother!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!...which one?" asked, Steven. "Steven's brother to be exact! Please sit down on the couch and leave a space in the middle."

Reluctantly, the two sat at either end of the couch.

"Now watch closely, at this really neato trick." Pokey moved over to the computer and fiddled with the dials frantically. Suddenly, the couch began to give up a smooth blue glow, and started to shake a little.

"Now, all I have to do is push this button! There!!"

While Pokey laughed manically, a figure seemed to materialize in between Eric and Steven. Slowly, they recognized the features of Steven's older brother, Damian. And with an audible pop, he was there

.

"Um..." Damian looked around, "Where am I? Steven, Eric... whaaaazzzzuuup???"

"Whaaaazzuupp!!!" They both joined in.

"Stop that you imbeciles!" Color crept back into Pokey's face. Damian whirled toward the screen.

"Hey, the fat loser kid from Earthbound!! How do you do?"

"Welcome to your worst nightmare, Damian! I am forcing you, your brother, and your Stupid Friend Eric to watch incredibly bad fanfics!! Boo-yah!!"

Damian thought about that for a while. "Well, beats school. Let's do it!"

"I'm so glad you have such a chipper attitude about this, because I already have one all ready and waiting for you here!!! So do please enjoy!!"

The trio Watched Pokey's face disappear from the screen and an all to familiar countdown started.

"Well," Damian said, "I'm the oldest, so I get to say it first"

"Say what?"

"WE HAVE FANFIC SIIIGN!!!"

?.

?

..

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> Progression Part 1

Steven: Nuts that means there is more of this.

> By SteveVo8a

D & E: (grinning)

Steven: Not funny, I am sooo not responsible for this impostor's action!! ...What's the Vo8a for...?

Onett:

> ?Arggh! Stupid math!?

Damian: Finally someone has seen the light.

Steven: Hey, math rules...!

Eric: (looks at Steven)...Don't EVER call me a geek again.

Ness sat at a desk with his head in his hands.

Damian: It had fallen off and he was contemplating its future use.

Eric: ...Have you done this before?

Damian: Come on! That was a freebee!

Subconsciously, his math book was slammed shut.

Steven: Fool! Already he is taking his silly powers for granted! Soon he will perish from over-indulgence!! HAHAHAHA!!

Eric: Nah, he'll probably just die from a heart attack in the second part of this story...at least I hope so...

"Mr. Ness, do you mind?" It was Ms. Genglan, the algebra teacher at Onett Jr. High.

Damian: Oh, yeah, this is believable! Ness NEVER went to school! He's always got an excuse! He's a streetwise wiz kid with mad skillz!!!

Eric: Which brings up the question what he is doing in Jr. High already...I thought he was like 5 years old; you know, a wonder toddler!

Steven: You two play this game too much...

"Oh, sorry..." Ness replied absentmindedly as he stared out the window of the classroom. The sun was shining and birds were fluttering about.

Eric: 'Subconsciously, Ness slammed them to the floor'

Steven: I know I would...lousy birds...

Oh well, Ness thought, only one more week of school, then I'll get to go see Paula. His heart pounded at the thought.

Eric: THOUGH SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE DUE TO THE STORY'S

SHORT LENGTH, NESS HAS ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED AS THE

BIGGEST SISSY EVER!!

Damian: (British accent)I bet he's gay

Steven: (ditto) He's not!

Township:

Ryu and Bow's return trip to township had been uneventful. To save time, they had come by boat from Capitan.

STEVEN: Isn't funny how a boat is the fastest way to travel nowadays.

Ryu was glad to be home, and quickly retired to his room, though only after assuring Nina Repeatedly that he was fine.

ERIC: Can somebody explain to me what the cone is going on? What

happened to the Earthbound? Who *are*these people?

DAMIAN: Silly Eric, didn't you know this was a three-way crossover? Wait till we get to Crono Trigger…

That night, as the citizens of Township slept, an object fell from the sky with a resounding crash.

ERIC: Hey, we already saw this part.

DAMIAN: Yes, but not from this angle.

A large meteor had landed just west of the heavily populated area of the growing city. In her bedroom, Katt woke with a

DAMIAN: jerk. Hehe.

ERIC: um… what are you talking about?

STEVEN: Never mind, stupid Xena joke.

shock. Being a Woran, she was a light sleeper anyway. The meteor crash

was extremely painful to her feline ears.

ERIC: Fortunately, she hadn't gotten them installed yet.

DAMIAN: the simple fact that a meteor crashing NEXT to a heavily populated area didn't do any damage whatsoever doesn't bother anybody?

"What the?" She scrambled to put on some clothes,

STEVEN: So worans do sleep naked.

grabbed the staff that set at the foot of her bed, and bolted outside just as the others were groggily reacting to the commotion. The air outside was thick with dust that had been thrown up by the collision.

DAMIAN: the meteor had hit a Chevy and didn't have any insurance.

Katt grumbled she ran a hand through he fur to sweep it clean.

DAMIAN: yes, now she's sparkling again!!

ERIC: HE fur? Look! A mistake!!

DAMIAN: (gives Eric a Scooby snack)

With amazing finesse and sleek speed, she reached the impact area minutes before anyone else.

ERIC: Unlike Katt, no one gave a woran's arse.

Her tail twitched as she surveyed the area, checking for possible danger. She found none, and relaxed her grip on the staff in her hands.

DAMIAN: thereby dropping it on her foot.

STEVEN: little did she know that the twitch in her tail

was.........

ERIC: CANDY!!

DAMIAN: ….You guys are weird…

A crowd began to gather to stare at the smoking chunk of rock.

DAMIAN: Cause rocks were a delicacy in that region?

Moments later her friends arrived. "Wha- what happened?" Bow

sputtered, out of breath.

DAMIAN: eww.

STEVEN: do you even know what sputtered means?

Bleu approached, with interest gleaming in her eyes. "Wow, that sure

is a big meteor. I don't know if I've seen one that size before."

DAMIAN: 5 bucks and Steven's panties say that you've never seen one period!

STEVEN: I'll take that bet!

And it was large, covering perhaps an acre of land.

DAMIAN: Ok, I'm no Mathemagician, but wouldn't a meteor that size do a lot more damage? Or at least be able to talk and stuff? I mean, come-on people, this isn't brainology!!

STEVEN: What do you mean weren't you paying attention "The air outside was thick with dust"

Spar's outlook was more neutral,

DAMIAN: Being a walking stick of asparagus and all…

"Good thing it missed the city." "Yeah..." Rand muttered.

STEVEN: eww.

DAMIAN: quiet you.

As the crowds of people slowly dispersed, the friends relaxed, due to the fact

that there were no apparent problems for the time being.

DAMIAN: Well, except the giant talking meteor with the bad-ass attitude and a spork for a weapon. I'm scared.

STEVEN:I don't wear panties now what will I get.

Truce:

As the sun slowly rose on Truce village, Crono rose to the persistent mewing of several cats. He pulled the quilt over his head and rolled over.

DAMIAN: **THUD**, he hit the floor.

STEVEN: Mewing

His efforts were pointless, as one of the cats jumped onto the bed and begin to bat at his face.

DAMIAN: With a bat?? They mean a bat, right?

STEVEN: CAT WITH BAT!!!

ERIC: Run!!

Slowly, the orange-haired boy rose and pulled on a shirt and a pair of shorts.

DAMIAN: (turning purple) in other words, he wasn't wearing anything as of now. That's it, I'm getting sick...

STEVEN: hey he's not a woran ....who made him the ambassador of naked city!

DAMIAN: Do you LISTEN to the words that come out of your mouth??

He climbed out of his bed and opened a large bag that sat next to his

desk. He poured dry cat food into a bowl. The cats clambered around

Crono's feet to get at it. Crono pulled open the drapes and looked out the window. Nadia's Bell was ringing. This morning was so much like that morning several years ago, when he stepped into an unimaginable adventure.

DAMIAN: Geez, bet he says that every time he wakes up. He needs a hobby.

STEVEN: He could sow little outfits for his cats, that's what I do.

DAMIAN: …That's it, Eric, switch me places.

Crono dismissed the thoughts of similarities and went downstairs. His mother was

nowhere to be found, but there was a note on the table. It read, "Crono-

DAMIAN: [cartman] Make me some pie!

I want out for a while. I'll be back around noon. Be sure to eat a good breakfast.

STEVEN: she wants out, but she cant use the doorknob correctly.

ERIC: HELP!! HELP, SHE'S TRAPPED. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP HER!!!

Love, Mom" Crono put the note down and picked up a banana. As he shoved it into his

DAMIAN: eyeball with amazing force?

mouth,

STEVEN: he shoved an unpeeled banana into his mouth what the hey, I'm protesting this.

he pulled his sheathed Rainbow

DAMIAN: Only a fool leaves a rainbow unsheathed anyway. You have to watch those suckers like gravy!

out of the closet.

He always carried it, out of habit.

DAMIAN: Although it was somewhat of a bitch during showers.

Strapping it to his back, he headed out the door. He had planned to meet Marle and Lucca at Leene Square.

ERIC: Quite the ladies man, is he not?

DAMIAN: He prefers the term pimp daddy

TownShip:

ERIC: [George Carlin] And why do they call it a township? It's not a town, and its not a ship.

DAMIAN: No no..I uhh.. I think it's a town

STEVEN: No way, it's a ship…I think.

ALL: ….

"Boss, what do you think it is?" Sten asked with a puzzled look on his face. Ryu shrugged. Ryu, Sten, Spar, Katt, Nina, Rand, Bow, and Bleu stood around the meteor.

ERIC: This sucks. A lot. Maybe Pokey was right, I sorta wanna go home…

DAMIAN: Wuss, this is nothing, they're just standing around a meteor in a big group and staring at it…

STEVEN: But don't you sorta wish that the meteor would just kill them all? With sparkly meteor powers or something?

ERIC: No, I wish it could do that to me right now. (looks around) maybe I shouldn't say that out loud…

DAMIAN: Good call.

Shortly after it had crashed, the meteor had began to glow with a pulsating orange light, which grew steadily stronger. The citizens of TownShip were nervous. Seeking to calm them down, the group decided that they should examine the object further.

DAMIAN: [citizen] Gee, I know I feel safer, knowing that if that explodes, it'll most likely just kill them.

The stood there, staring at it, not knowing what to do.

ERIC: I know that feeling, every time I take a gander at Steven I feel the same.

STEVEN: Was that an insult?

DAMIAN: (Pats Steven on the back) Don't worry, it'll hit you in the morning.

Abruptly, a piercing shriek began flowing from the meteor!

ERIC: Piercing Shrieks ™, now in liquid form!

DAMIAN: Order yours today, upgrade from the outdated vocal version!!

Before the group could react, the rock disappeared, leaving a large hole in it's space. There was immense suction coming from the hole,

STEVEN: hehehe.

DAMIAN: Oh sure, you get the suction joke but the …ahhh never mind…

and the heroes were pulled into the pit and fell through complete darkness...

ERIC: So the hole turned into a pit….

DAMIAN: (yawning) Don't look so surprised, everyone knows about the creepy martian burrowing meteor, it obviously dug the pit.

STEVEN: Hehe, suction.

Leene Square:

Crono, Marle and Lucca sat in Leene square. "So Marle, how's life in the castle?" Lucca asked.

"Just the same. As boring as ever. No change in routine..."

ERIC: [Lucca] I hate you.

STEVEN: [Lucca] Hehe, Suction.

DAMIAN: Ok, no abusing the little name tags. And get over it. (sighs)

Marle replied with a sigh, "Nothing to do but sit around and be a figurehead. I'm sick of it. I sure could go for some excitement. How about you, Crono?" She asked as she rubbed her crossbow with a cloth.

ERIC: A shiny crossbow wreaks more havoc than any weapon in the world.

STEVEN: Even pointy horseshoes??

ERIC: …

ERIC: (to damian)Can I switch you seats back?

DAMIAN: Hell no.

"Wouldn't mind having to use this thing, either..."

STEVEN: Hehehehe………oh he meant his sword

ERIC: (big smile) He sure did!

DAMIAN: enough, we get it…

Crono turned to the princess and nodded in agreement. What the three didn't know was that their wishes would be coming true very soon...

DAMIAN: They too would be visited by the martian liquid shriek advocate.

.

End Part One

STEVEN: Hmm…that wasn't so bad… I guess

ERIC: Could have used more nudity.

DAMIAN: Or less nudity. (shudders) Crono….

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The TV machine flickered silent quietly and the fluorescent lighting of the room sprang to life once more. Damian got up to stretch his legs for a bit while Steven and Eric took a moment to just sit there and rest.

"And exactly how long do we have to do this?" Damian questioned the dynamic duo.

"Well, " Eric furrowed his eyebrows, "if I am to understand Pokey correctly, until I go insane. Yeah."

"Well then, I'm grabbing a snack from the machine 'cause we're going to be here for a while…"

Damian quickly approached the food generator and messed with the buttons.

It was then that the TV sprung back to life. A familiar pudgy face came back into view.

"So, how'd you like THAT?! HUH? CAN YOU FEEL IT??"

"Feel what?" Eric grinned.

"Your mind slowly spinning into oblivion of course!!"

"Yeah sure whatever, listen, is there like a bathroom here or something? I think I have to go, and unlike you, I'm potty trained."

Pokey maniacal laughter filled the room once more.

"Sure there's a bathroom, right behind that fake wall over there…but its locked, until you view the next little tidbit I have prepared for you!! HAHAHAHA!! …In about an hour or so. Having technical problems here, hold on…"

The TV died again and left our three heroes alone once more. Damian returned to the couch with a steak and a pizza.

"Let me guess, " Eric groaned knowingly, "The food generator only makes food available in Earthbound the game…"

Damian grinned as he handed Eric another item on his plate, "Here, just try these awesome brain food lunches and be quiet. I think they're out of peanut-cheese bars at the moment though…was hoping to get one of those."

Eric took the strange looking object and inspected it.

"I'm not even sure where to begin with this…"

"Never mind that, " Steven whined, "And just help me eat these eggs before they hatch into chicks!! …again."


Disclaimer: Progression and all related work are the intellectual property of the creator SteveVo8a, and not our work. This is just for fun, and if requested will be taken off.