Fan Fiction ❯ Progression Denied ❯ 2 ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The air became fresh again as an A/C kicked in somewhere. Our heroic trio, after having faced their very first fanfic, were exploring any other aspects of the room they had been trapped in. Considering that they might be here for a while, it just might be a good idea. Damian began to fiddle with objects around the 'fake wall', while Steven and Eric used the food generator to keep their attention. "You know, " Eric sighed, "I think its great that I might be able to make some money with my doodling in the future, but is this really necessary? Did I smack Pokey around in Eartbound(tm) too much?" Steven was paying little if any attention at the moment, he was still trying to decide what to eat. "You've played this game to death, what's good to eat here?" Eric groaned and pointed to the hamburger icon. "Just get a friggin' burger. Where's Damian..." It was then that an audible flushing sound could be heard from the background. Damian ambled up to Eric, a relieved smile on his face. "Dude! You found out how to get into the bathroom?" Damian grinned. "It was easy, the candleholder over there is the doorknob. How very predictable." It didn't take long until all three of them smiled in relief, their new-found knowledge put to good use. The TV screen flickered back to life. "Alright you losers, its almost time for the fun to resume again, but first a little something else. If you would please note that camera over in the corner..." Eric and Damian turned their gaze upon an almost hidden camera lens eminating from one of the corners of the room. From where it was positioned, it had a great shot of the TV and the people sitting on it, just from the back. "What the hell..." Damian walked a bit closer, and soon he noticed his image on another nearby screen. "Cool! We're on TV....are we?" Eric waved his hands in front of the camera. "Hi mom!" "SHUT UP! This is NOT what you may think it is. I simply thought I could make a few extra dollars by broadcasting your torture in my home dimension. Believe it or not, people have offered me good money to see you idiots suffer!" Malevolent laughter filled the room as usual, whilst Steven finally returned from the food generator, a plate filled with calorie sticks. Damian frowned. "Do you even know what those are?" "Of course I do, I love sticks!" Steven sat himself on the couch and dug in. Pokey rolled his eyes. "AS I WAS SAYING. You will be broadcasted across my dimension, but first I need you all to introduce yourselves...my friends want to know who is being tortured, makes it more fun! So just look into the camera and give your name, age, occupation, hobby, whatever, I don't really give a..." Damian walked up to the camera with a sigh and faked a smile. "My name is Damian, and I'm a 20 year old DeVry student (at least I used to be, I guess). Usually I work as a front desk clerk somewhere on earth, and my only hobbies include RPG's and Anime. I have absolutely no idea why I'm here, seeing that these two bumbling blockheads obviously stumbled upon this rather intriguing little dwelling. But since I'm already missing class and work for this, I can't object to it now....There, happy?" The little fat kid grinned with pleasure. "Excellent, excellent, everyone loves to see a loser like you cower in terror, who's next??" Eric had perhaps eaten too much, and his full stomach had caused him to grow tired. Consequently, he had curled up on the sofa to nap. When Damian shuffled back over to the sofa, he realized his spot was occupied. Frustration welled up inside of him and he sat in a big flowerpot next to the sofa. One could only guess at his reasoning behind this. "Well, that was moving, ladies and gentlemen. Damian truly has the soul of a poet," sneered Pokey. Damian sunk deeper into his flowerpot. "Alright, let's keep this train wreck moving," Pokey continued. "Who's next?" Damian and Steven simultaniously pointed to Eric. Pokey began to work the controls on some unseen control panel, which apparently activated a cattle prod hidden within the sofa, which shocked Eric's flanks severely. He sprang to his feet. "Holy moley, what was that??" Eric gasped, clutching his side. "It's your turn to speak to the audience," Pokey said. "Now get up there!" Eric turned his nose up at the image of Pokey on the television screen and crossed his arms. "Aw, bunk! I'm not exploiting myself for the amusement of some transdimensional television enthusiasts!" Eric shouted and sat down. Pokey's face turned deep red, and an expression of vexation washed over his face. "Non-compliance will get you nowhere, you defiant dolt!" Pokey shrieked. He pressed a few buttons on his control panel and an unbearably loud horn was sounded. Eric hugged his head in an attempt to muffle the sound, and Damian and Steven followed suit. "Jesus, thanks Eric!" pouted Steven. "Now, do as I say or I will once again sound the Horn of Intolerance!" yelled their pudgy captor. Eric shot the screen with Pokey on it a milk curdling glare and sauntered over to the camera reluctantly. After standing still for a moment, he realized he couldn't think of a single thing to say. He fancied himself a humorist, but it was severely evident that humor took more work than it looked like. After Eric realized that nothing good would come out of him anyway, he inhaled, exhaled, and decided to make it up as he went along. "Good day to you, folks, my name is Eric, I'm 18 years old, and I'm the proud creator of the stupid comics that resulted in the hostage situation you're currently viewing. If I'd have known there'd be such a fuss over the nonsense I draw, I would have become an accountant. "Anyhow, I'd like to apologize in advance for the quality of fanfic coming into our little home, and by extension the quality of our performances. We're doing the best with what we're given, folks, " Eric pleaded. Throughout his entire speech, he had been making many superfluous and bizarre hand gestures. Pokey's face was contorted with confusion. "However, we will stray away from very tired and non-creative humor, I can assure you of that. So no gay jokes( or not too many at least), no fruitcakes jokes, no jokes about mother-in-laws, and no topical references that will have no bearing an hour from now. Good deal? Sure. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Jerkwater Fanfic crew." Eric then lowered his head, put his hands behind his back, turned around and paced deliberately back to the sofa. He was done. Damian blinked a couple of times after having pushed Steven off the sofa. It was his turn to go anyway. "The what crew? You already gave us a name? Did I miss something...?" Damian lowered his voice considerably, "and for some reason I don't think Pokey thinks we're supposed to be aiming for humor. Let's at least pretend that while he is here, that we are suffering in infinite anguish. You know, just have a few nervous break downs every now and then, and maybe he'll stop hiding important rooms like the bathroom from us. Hehe." Steven was getting up from the floor. "The bathroom I can do without, " he said while his eyes started to tear up, "But what 'I' can't seem to find is the sowing room!" Damian and Eric glanced at Pokey, and Pokey glanced back; there was a horrible long silence. Pokey sighed, "The sowing room is under the table." "YES!!" Steven rejoiced, "Now I can sow crew uniforms and little outfits for our fingers!!" Now Eric and Damian's eyes were starting to tear up, but nonetheless, Steven ambled up to the camera in a great mood, ready to do his part. "Now I'd like to introduce myself, I'm Steven, and the tender age of 17. I used to attend Andress High, where I'm in the creative writing club and the debate club president...well, I used to be president, but now I'm stuck here with my two best friends, I would really like to tell you more, but I have to go sew up some capes!" With that, Steven slid under the table and entered the door underneath, and seconds later you could hear the noise of a state of the art sewing machine. Damian rose and looked at the pudgy image on the screen, his face contorted in a confused grimace "Why? A sewing room, why??" Pokey swallowed audibly and started to turn red, "Is sewing so wrong? But that's off topic, its time for your next torture, Progression part two enjoy!" Quicker than usual, his image vanished from the screen. Eric smiled as he dragged Steven back from the hidden door below. "Sorry pal, if I have to suffer through this so do you. You can sew later because WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN!!" Progression Part 2 By SteveVo8a

ERIC: (sad) Aww, its written by the same guy and I still don't understand..
STEVEN: I don't know, its kind of growing on me. What do you say, DamianVo8a?
DAMIANVo8a: ...? HEY!!!
Leene Square:
Crono, Marle, and Lucca were sitting around on the Telepod that had started their adventures years earlier.
It was still in the northern part of the square, a kind of silent monument to the heroic deeds of Crono.
STEVEN: [telepod] I'm only silent because nobody ever talks to me.
ERIC: I don't blame them.
"Lucca, does this thing still work?" Marle asked.
"I doubt it, but we could find out."
"Yeah!"
STEVEN: (scared) She just got really excited and I don't know why!
ERIC: She just realized that reality as they know it is exceedingly impossible!
DAMIAN: Actually, I think this is simply the first time in years that anyone there had any sort of idea,
let alone verbal conversation with each other. I imagine video game characters, when not being played, lead a sad and lonely life and
eventually end up killing each other.
ERIC/STEVEN: (stare)
DAMIAN: I think about those sort of things...
"Well, Crono, go hold that switch over there.
STEVEN: You're just gonna have to break it off first.
We'll test it without a subject." As Lucca worked furiously at the control panel,
ERIC: Something about machinery really irked her.
the machine began to hum.
STEVEN: It had been in a band before this, and had a decent voice.
ERIC: Three more machines joined in, and the four started a mean machine barbershop rendition of 'Blue Moon'.
However, what happened was far from expected.
Bolts of electricity started to jump between the two pods.
DAMIAN: It's kinda sad if the thing that *usually* happens when you turn the telepod on is 'far from expected'.
As they connected, a large black void appeared between the machines.
"Lucca, what's going on?"
"I have no idea!"
STEVEN: [Marle] THIS IS FAR FROM EXPECTED!!
As the three friends watched, much to their surprise, Images flickered in the blackness.
Images that were all too familiar to the three.
Ayla. Frog.
DAMIAN: Fonzy.
ERIC: Gilligan.
STEVEN: Bart Simpson.
Magus. Robo.
ERIC: I guess "Robo" is a robot....and "Frog" is..a frog? but what are the other two?
STEVEN: I don't know, if their name doesn't imply who they are, who cares...I hope they introduce
a saucy hippo named hipp!
DAMIAN: (Gets up and switches seats)
Those who had helped defeat Lavos. The images disappeared, and the void began creating an immense suction.
DAMIAN: (glares at steven) Don't even think about it.
STEVEN: (giggles)
ERIC: (shrugs) Well, there's only so many suction jokes you can pull...
They tried to resist, but the power was too strong. As they fell into the darkness, they tried to scream,
but could not be heard over the howling wind...
DAMIAN: Doesn't this sort of beat 'falling into a pit'? Go Crono Trigger!
. Unknown:
ERIC: uh oh, this is probably where it gets extreme!
DAMIAN: No, this is where the author couldn't even think of ONE original name for a location.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
ERIC: Holy Geez! Good Acting!
DAMIAN: Bet she's faking it.
STEVEN: ....
THUMP
"Ouch!"
"Hey, watch it!"
STEVEN: This fanfic is giving me a lot of guff, NO SASSBACK!!
ERIC: Yeah, where was this thing raised, in a barn?
"Move!" One by one, Ness and his friends untangled themselves and examined their surroundings. It was a medium-sized concrete room.
With no immediately visible door.
DAMIAN: There was a door, but it was hiding behind a gust of air.
The room was illuminated by an unknown source.
ERIC: This author is one horrible storyteller! The mood's about as tense as a picnic on Sesame Street.
DAMIAN: Watch it Eric, Big Bird's ninjas are everywhere.
"Where are we?" Paula wondered.
"I sure didn't expect to come out anywhere like here!" Jeff looked around. A note was tacked onto one of the concrete walls.
It read, "Ness, Paula, Poo, Jeff:
DAMIAN: "You are in the process of being replaced with 3D models. You will be discarded shortly, please step on the trap door in front of you."
Don't worry, you won't be in here very long. Just be patient." There was no signature.
DAMIAN: I bet it was Jesus!
"There doesn't seem to be much else that we can do..." Ness wandered over to one of the walls and attempted to cut into it with his PSI powers.
Nothing happened. "I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens."
"I don't like this." Poo muttered
"Me neither Poo, me neither."
DAMIAN: [Ness] I just like saying your name Poo, don't mind me.
ERIC: I still think I will name my kids Poo as well. All of them. That way they'll learn at an early age that their father is quite the prankster.
DAMIAN: (to himself) and an evil bastard.
ERIC: I heard that!
. Meanwhile, our BoF2 heroes had experienced a similar landing. They were now hard at work looking for an exit.
Sten noticed that Bleu was doing something.
DAMIAN: Sten had always been the bright one in the group, using his eyes to full capacity.
She raised her hands, and energy flew from them into the wall.
"Amazing. Nothing happened." she stated is disbelief. "Simply amazing."
STEVEN/ERIC: (pointing at 'is')
DAMIAN: Yes, thank you Lassie, I noticed. But I'm out of snacks, so go to hell.
ERIC: Harsh.
STEVEN: Nah, we deserve it.
Sten looked over at Ryu, who was staring at the material that imprisoned them.
"I'll guess we'll have to do like the note says and wait, huh boss?" Ryu nodded, but a troubled look crossed his face.
"I don't believe this!" Katt was pacing back and forth, clutching her staff tightly. "When I get at whoever did this, they'll regret it!"
She stopped and swung her staff in an attack blow to show that she meant it.
DAMIAN: The wall immediately imploded and ran away in an absurd attempt to escape the horror!
ERIC: Defensive blows are just as effective. She's whack.
. "Crono... Crono, wake up!" The boy groggily opened his eyes to see Marle standing over him with a worried look on her face.
"Good! You finally woke up. You hit your head pretty hard when we landed.
DAMIAN: [Marle] Not me though, you sorta broke my fall, thanks!
"Sir Crono hath recovered? Good." Crono looked over in suprise. "Yes, it is I, Glenn."
ERIC: (in awe) THANK GOD!! Glenn's here now, everything will be ok. I ... I could cry...
Lucca spoke up, "Whatever pulled us here also pulled in our friends... It seems to have been some sort of energy vortex. But I have no idea where we are."
DAMIAN: (scoffs) I think it was made pretty damn clear that they are in 'Unknown'.
Robo looked over from a corner, "The walls seem to be made from some high density material that I have never seen. Laser energy does not even heat it... Amazing!"
ERIC: I smell an Academy Award!
DAMIAN: Everything's just amazing today isn't it. Let's buy Stevo a Thesaurus.
"Ayla want out! Ayla no like being in room!" the prehistoric woman pounded her fist against the wall
ERIC: What odd behavior for a cavewoman.
"We all do, Ayla, we all do." Marle stated with a hint of resignation in her voice.
. "What are we gonna do, Ness?" Paula asked. Ness shrugged and looked around once again.
ERIC: Just in case the ridiculous setting had somehow changed itself while he wasn't looking.
"We may not have to do anything." Jeff walked over, "The door just opened."
ERIC: Lame.
DAMIAN: No no, give it a second...I'm sure that this isn't really Jeff but a powerful Vegetable overlord disguised as the hapless blonde dolt,
luring our would-be heroes into certain doom and a healthier life style!
ERIC: yeah, guess that would be the only feasable explanation.
STEVEN: Who would have thunk that veggies were so mean spirited? Not me!
"Time to step into the beyond, my friends..." Poo stepped through the door.
DAMIAN: Now lets replace 'stepped' with 'was pushed by Ness violently' and we have a more accurate scenario.
ERIC: Are you ok today?
DAMIAN: Oh I'm just peachy.
STEVEN: Damian's just mad 'cause he didn't get to push Poo, don't mind him.
One by one, the others followed him...
. End of part 2
ERIC: I'm dreading the inevitable release of part 3.
DAMIAN: It's already released...and it will probably haunt us in due time...
============================================================= ================== The screen went silent once more leaving the crew in the dark for a second before the overheads turned on. Damian quickly moved out of the way as Steven dove under the table to return to his new hobby. "Remember, " Eric called after him wearily, "the next one starts soon, I guess after that we get a rest or something...." "You'd like that wouldn't you!" Pokey's face popped onto the monitor, his vile grin darkening the room. "But it is true, there's only one more part to this rather...interesting little story. I'm sure you'll learn to appreciate it, after you find out what I have in store for you fools tomorrow!! HAHAHHAHAHA!!!!" Damian frowned. "Would you shut up? I mean honestly, who can act this evil 24/7? Leave us alone or something for a few minutes, christ..." It was apparent that even Pokey's antics couldn't keep the crew's attention forever. Pokey scowled and his face vanished, but not before he was able to warn them that there was only a few minutes left until the final part of their torture. Eric kept quiet throughout all of this, mulling their predicament over in his side of the couch. "Well it wasn't that bad, right guys? We can take this for a few months or so....right?" You could hear an audible scream from below as Steven accidently pierced his finger with a needle. "MONTHS??" he cried, "are you insane?? What about school? What about..chicks? ..n stuff...?" Eric scoffed. "Lets face it, we don't really have a life and nowhere to be. This is the best that could possibly happen to us! Let's just enjoy the ride!" Damian stretched and nodded. "Like I said, this totally beats school. Not to mention there's free food! and Tv! and ...sewing...anyway. Let's just get to this next fanfic, I want to get this over with for today and maybe get a little mario party in afterwards or something, what do you say, guys?" Damian's encouraging words were drowned out by Eric's screaming. He had taken several steps back and was pointing at Steven who had recently decided to join the surface again. In his hand was a shiny yellow piece of cloth. "What's wrong??" Steven looked surprised, "Thought I was kidding eh? No no my friend, trust me, this special cape here is all yours. Look, it even says Eric in big pink letters on the back!! Aren't you glad?" Just in time, Damian was able to catch Eric's falling body. "Great job bro, he fainted. Why not just make him a pink dress while you're at it?! You better hope I can get him to snap out of it before we have to watch the next one."