Fan Fiction ❯ So this is love ❯ This is the beginning ( Chapter 1 )

How stupid could I be? Yeah the story of my life. Well it was a normal and average day. Nothing special. I was just hanging out with my friends and minding my own business. When she introduced me to him. Definitely the bad boy that moms warn you about. As he shook my hand, I felt the emotion drain from my face as I blushed a deep shade of red. He had these deep gorgeous eyes. They just took over me. Gorgeous. He had on the typical outfit: a leather jacket and tattered baggy blue jeans. His name was Chris…Chris Carter.

We were just friends at first and of course I had a big crush on him. We started to hang out more often and I asked him out to lunch one day. He said yes and we went out to eat at our school's cafeteria. As college kids we were broke and gobbled down the edible campus food.

-So Chris you're a wrestler?

-Yeah I like to get out my rage or anger in the ring. When I am frustrated or seriously pissed it feels good to get out there and fight in a healthy way.

-Yeah I can tell you work out a lot and wrestle well…

-Yeah well Dorina you are a cute and sweet girl. And funny too. I like hanging out with you.

-I like hanging out with you too Chris.

-Hey let me tell you what happened last weekend. I may not be able to focus and it's because I got hit in the head with the chair. The match was awesome and I almost lost cause I was in a lot of pain from the chair but my friend Dave came out and helped me win. He is such an awesome guy. I have the match on tape and I keep watching the painful event. The chair incident was just some fucking exciting fifteen minutes.

-Oh wow that's cool. Can I see it?

-Yeah sure. The whole thing or just the fifteen minutes?

-Well I guess the fifteen minutes.

-Alright. We can go up to my dorm room.

We went up to Chris' room and I hopped up onto his bed and his leopard printed "pimp" sheets. His bed was really comfortable and he sat right beside me. After wrestling I decided just to hang out because I was done with classes for the day. We talked about our past relationships surprisingly. He told me about the girl he dated and how he hadn't liked anyone in a long time. He had a few flings but nothing serious. I told him how my last boyfriend didn't want to be intimate and he asked how I figured that out. I told him of the different incidents where I had tried to seduce my ex and failed miserably. Chris said he would have tackled me and made out with me if I had tried that with him. Then I told him he felt tense and I proceeded to give him a back massage. He then started to kiss on my neck, tickling my soft spot. I felt a tingle and heated sensation through my pores. I was afraid to kiss him so I didn't.

After a few weeks of flirtation and teasing I invited Chris up to my room. We watched Letterman but neither of us was really paying any attention. This time I caressed my wet lips to his skin. Turning him on and driving him wild.

-Dorina I just wanted you to know that I like you.

-You do? I am so happy. I like you too.

He began to kiss my neck as I kissed his and in a short moment we crossed and were staring each other in the eyes. His gorgeous, his enticing eyes, they pulled me in and I kissed him hard. Massaging his mouth with my tongue, I was forceful. He responded and as I lay beneath him I wrapped my legs around him. We continued kissing and he slipped his hand beneath my blouse and massaged my already hard nipples. He sucked them and held me tightly by the hips. I began to grind him and kiss his neck harder and harder. He put his hand over my jeans and on my crotch. Rubbing me and making me crave him even more. All of a sudden he stops abruptly and sits back.

-Oh my God…Dorina its 2am…you have to sign me out.

Remembering the stupid dorm policy I walk back down and out of the dorms signing him out after a long kiss goodbye. I go back to my room frustrated and a little tired. I had a strange feeling that this was going to go all wrong.

Chris and I started to hang out more often. Because I lived in a single he would come over to watch TV or play video games. It would always end up being a heated make out session or a good talk. After a while I wanted to take it to the next level.

-Chris, I was wondering something…

-Yeah?

-What are we? I mean we both like each other and we hang out a lot but where do we stand?

-Well I consider us dating but as I told before, I had a rough and long relationship and I was screwed over. I am not sure that you are ready to be my girlfriend and I also need time to think about it. I don't want to label us. Everything is going so great and I don't want to ruin it.

-Okay.

At first I was okay with just dating Chris without the commitment but my feelings began to grow as time went on and it upset me that we weren't really together. He got all the benefits and no commitment. I felt hurt and I decided to talk to him about it. He came over one night and I was going to confront him but I got somewhat distracted. We went up to my room as usual and when Chris went towards my lower half I urged him to continue this time. He undid my pants and slid them off. He put his hand into my wet moist panties. I felt want and desire as he thrusted his finger into my canal. He rocked his hand against me with gentle thrusts that became rough and hard as time progressed. He stopped long enough to slide my silk pink underwear off and began to taste me.

-Dorina, I've wanted this for so long…

He continued to use his tongue and hand tingling all of my senses. He kissed me hard and put pressure on his hand as he moved his hips and made my muscles ache for him even more. I felt a climax shortly approaching as he made rough movements and got quicker and quicker. He kissed me parting my lips with his tongue as I felt strange and wonderful sensations all over. I moaned and squealed as I came and orgasmed like never before. I breathed a deep breath and kissed him hard and long when we finally parted I felt my hot cheeks and knew how red I was. I kissed him and took off his pants quickly. I put my underwear back on as I slid my hands on his length. I made a steady and quick motion pleasing him and making him moan and groan deeply.

I continued to do this and then I took off his boxer briefs and wrapped my mouth around his head. I licked his shaft and let my wet and moist saliva trickle down the sides. I sucked long and hard making my hand and mouth have the same rhythm. I went as fast as I could and he sighed and moaned again and again. He told me he was close and he went off in my mouth. I suck at his head until he was completely done and I licked his shaft and head clean.

-Wow. Dorina that was amazing.

-Yea you were too.

He got back on his boxer briefs and we both laid down fell asleep in each others arms.

The months went by quickly and I enjoyed just being with Chris. We spent time together every day and I was feeling happy. But the joy would soon fade. My life wasn't solely devoted to this charming and wonderful guy. School, my ex, and my father would make me feel miserable.

My father enjoys torturing me and holding power over me. What power could my father who has cut most ties with me and his ex wife you ask? Money. That word has so much power and greed attached to it. I am not trying to have finer things in life. I just needed to get by and my dad was responsible for taking care of my monetary needs. I was a bio major and school was extremely hard and I couldn't leave my studies and find a job. So thus I relied on my father.

I was at my university because of my smarts but my father believed it was all because of him. He pushed his power in my face and I could not get out from under him. He was an abusive selfish bastard but I had to maintain my stature and take his painful words. He was the only man who could bring me to tears. I had walls up because of this horrid man but Chris seemed to tear them down. We were intimate but we had a different bond. He knew me, the real me with all of my secrets and problems revealed.

But once my father just destroyed my sanity, once I felt such a shocking wave of pain that I had to get away, only once did he deeply hurt me. I didn't want this overbearing emotional pain so I sought physical pain instead. I did a one time stupid act. I wanted to be away and I wasn't thinking straight. My mind was completely wrapped in the pain I was feeling. My father degraded me and told me I was dumb and would never make it. I was foolish and a liar and a horrible scum of a human. He said these words and after they stung me I turned up my music and cried. My eyes burned and my vision was blurred but I saw the razor blade. I picked it up and tore at the flesh of my stomach to take the hurt away.

I spoke to Chris the next and knew that I had to tell him. I told him and he had a worried face. I told him of my feelings and told him to let me deal with it on my own. I thought if I had told him he would understand and still want me. He told me a few days later that he had to think. He said that we had to just stay friends until he could figure everything out. Painfully I accepted this. I even went as low to accept friends with benefits. He declined and told me to give him time to think. I did and I waited for almost a week. He then said that he was unsure. I invited him to come to my room to watch TV. He kissed me but I knew that he just wanted me physically and nothing more. I gave in because I hoped to have some piece of him.

Stupid…I thought that with him it would be different. He had been my friend and I could tell him anything. I had thought so. Stupid…I was so blind and stupid.

Spring break came rather quickly and Chris told me he would have a solid answer to me by the time he got back. I just stayed at the dorms while he went home. I stayed with my leftover friends and we had an awesome time. I definitely tried hard to get him off of my mind. But it hurt and I wanted to be his and I wanted him to be mine. When break was over I met him and as usual he came to my room.

-Your going to hit me.

-Just say what you have to say.

-I like us the way we are now and I just don't want to ruin it by putting a label on it. You convinced me that you are getting help for your problems and I believe you. I know you don't have any feelings for your ex anymore but I just have a painful past and I just don't want to get hurt or hurt you.

-I'm not going to hit you. I am fine with how we are. Yes I want to be your girlfriend but if I have to wait or stay as we are I am fine with that. But just know I am not going to wait for you forever.

- I know and I'm happy with this.

I started to kiss him and nibble at his neck.

-I thought you wouldn't want to do anything…

-Well I do…

I ripped off his jeans and engulfed his length in my mouth. I got him dripping wet with my saliva as I sucked hard and made a fast motion with my hand. He moaned and groaned and reached his peak after a while. He came into my mouth and I sucked him dry.

-Oh God…wow…that was awesome…

I kissed him hard taking over his mouth as he mounted me. He began to grind me and I let out a soft moan. He took off my pants and slid his finger inside. I moaned as stimulated me. I was warm and wet. He got harder and faster. It took a while but I came and screamed and moaned his name.

I watched him dress and get ready for bed. He lay down and held me as he fell fast asleep. I sat up watching him and enduring the pain he had just blown my way.

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