Fan Fiction ❯ Songs of the Mind ❯ Ch. 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Kinsha: I do not own the Teen Titans or Disney or any other real thing in this fic.

Robin: If she did, do you think she would spend time writing on a stupid little site like

this?

Raven: Lets just start the story already!

Kinsha: On with the show!!

"Talking"

`Thinking'

~Change of Scene~

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"Come on Rae! Your gunna miss the movies!" yelled Beast Boy from the living room in the Titans Tower. It was the annual movie night, and the others weren't going to let Raven get out of this one.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming. Must you yell?" Raven answered, holding her head. She never watched the movies with the others except when it was her night to choose what movies to watch. Tonight was Starfire's and the other Titans had forced the dark sorceress to come.

"Aww, come on Rae. Lighten up will ya. You took three baddies out on your own today. You deserve a break and a night without meditation." This came from the Titans half robot member Cyborg.

Raven smiled at her teammate's concern. Cyborg was like an older brother to her and had been the one to offer the most comfort when Malchoir had turned out evil. Of coarse the others couldn't see this smile because of her hood.

"Alright, I'm here. What are we watching?" `Please not Disney, PLEASE not Disney!'

Raven had reason not to exactly love the happy movies. They were the exact opposite of what her life had really been like. And the facts that the demons always got killed in the end didn't soothe her feelings either. How could she be when she knew that that was exactly what she was?

"Oh Friend Raven! You have decided to join us on this pleasant night of the watching of movies!" This was the Titans happy-go-lucky member, Starfire. An alien from the planet Tameran, she was a strong fighter and an even better friend. She was the only one Raven felt she could tell her problems to. Well, the only one she thought would listen to her problems, anyway.

"Star, I have a feeling that if Raven had anything to say in it, she would be at her poetry bar tonight along with her raven." Robin told Starfire. Robin. How could she ever describe him? The strongest one the team, not in strength and not in mind, but in will. He was the one she longed for. The one she dreamed of. The one she was most terrified of losing. But she knew that she could never have him. Not because of Starfire, they had tried that and it hadn't worked out. She was too afraid of what would happen to him if he was the one with her if she lost control. Beast Boy and Cyborg could easily get away and Raven had recently taught Star how to mold her starbolts into shields. But Robin was unprotected. He was the one who would come for her and die trying, she knew. She had to be alone, there was no other way to keep anyone else safe…

Raven was snapped out of her thoughts when Starfire asked, "But why would Friend Raven want to miss out on our joyous night of film watching?"

"I don't think Raven's one for the fantasy/happy movies Star." Robin told her while gifting Raven with a small smile, one with just the tiniest hint of mischief that made Raven's blush deepen.

She had been on the verge of removing her hood, but now stopped and used the hand-movement as a sudden jerk to make her tea fly to her. They could not see how she blushed when he smiled. They could not see any emotion from her with the exception of a rare smile. But that would change in a few short months when she turned 18. Two to be exact. Then she would be free to show any and all emotions anytime. She could not lose control though, then she would forever be under her father's influence and would never be a complete person.

She was again jerked from her thoughts by Starfire's voice.

"Well, Friend Beast Boy and I went to the store of movie renting," she was cut in by Beast Boy.

"Also known as Blockbuster to all of you who can't translate from my sweaties entrancing way of speaking." Raven could not help but smile at the way Beast Boy drooled over his girlfriend.

"Yes, anyway," Starfire continued after playfully cuffing her boyfriend in the back of his head. "I decided to choose a Disney movie," Raven inwardly groaned, "called Mulan. I thought that Friend Raven might want to stay the whole time instead of leaving in the middle like she usually does after seeing a half of an hour of it." Starfire shot a quick smile at the psychic from across the room. Raven returned it with a slight grimace instead of the bright one that Starfire was famous for.

"Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's get this party started!" roared Cyborg and dashed into the kitchen to make snacks for everyone. Being in an especially good mood that day, he even brought a tofu platter in for Beast Boy. This earned him a delighted smile from his best friend.

After munching and chatting for about 10 minutes, they put the movie in. It actually did capture Raven's attention. She was actually enjoying herself until one part. It was the song before Mulan left her family to fight for her father. As it began to play, Raven's violet eyes became as round as saucers, much like the ones on the posters on Starfire's wall. This song seemed to familiar…

`Look at me, I will never pass for perfect bride.
Or a perfect daughter.
Can it be I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see that if I were truly to be myself,
I would break my family's heart.'

~Azerath~

"RAVEN! Don't go! Please don't leave me!" This pathetic cry rang through the court yard. Raven had a suitcase in one had and had just begun her chant to transport her out of the dimension.

`Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me.'

A boy the same age as Raven then threw himself on the ground at her feet.

"Raven, please don't leave! We have our lives ahead of us! We could find a place in the caves for us to live in, I'll do anything, ANYTHING, if you will just stay. PLEASE!!!" he cried piteously.

"Jacob, you know that you are running the threat of execution even now. If they catch you with me, what do you think they'll do??!?! I am an outlaw now! I am not allowed on this planet! Don't you see? I have the chance for a new beginning!"

`Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Somehow I cannot hide who I am,
Though I've tried.'

"I can live without the threat of me father raping me for the first time in years! I have the chance to live my life! My own life! I don't want you to be the sacrifice for it but I must. If you come with me, they'll track both of us and kill us. You must stay. But remember, I will always love you."

`When will my reflection show,
Who I am inside.'

"But Raven, can't you see? I can't live without you! I see what you must do though… Good luck. Good luck in your new life and always remember me. I may not be able to escape now, maybe ever, but if I do, I will find you. Raven, I love you."

It was the first time that he had said it. Raven began to cry bitter tears. What was going to be so easy, had become extremely difficult. Jacob stood up and wrapped her in his arms and they enjoyed one last kiss before her departure. He stepped back and she began to chant again. "Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos!" She began to glow and continued chanting.

`When will my reflection show,'

Then he was gone and she was away. She fell to the floor where she was and began to cry endlessly.

`Who I am inside.'

~Back at the Tower~

"Raven, earth to Raven!"

The cry seemed familiar, but she could not remember who it was. Suddenly, she felt very weak and felt herself slide from the coach. She could hear and feel, but beyond that she was helpless.

"Oh my God!!! Raven! Raven! Wake up! Come on Rae!" She now knew the voice; it was Cyborg, standing over her and trying to get her back to her senses. "Oh, Man! Her pulse is pretty low…"

"Maybe she needs the hospital." That was Beast Boy, his concern for her evident in his voice.

Starfire immediately jumped in. "No! She told me that if this ever happened to get her to her room. She is able to steady her mind easier there."

A mutter could be heard from Beast Boy, "It would be able to tell the rest of us this rather important information…"

"Do not be offended my love, Raven just didn't want the rest of you to worry about her. You know that she is nearing her 18th day of birth and that her father's control is loosening. She said that this may make her weak. That is all." Starfire was trying to comfort the others.

"I'll take her to her room, then." Said Cyborg.

"No Cy, I'll do it." It was Robin. Raven's heart began to beat faster and faster with each passing second. "Whoa! Her pulse just skyrocketed back to normal. And it's getting faster and faster as though something we said…"

Star steered the conversation back into safe territory. Raven had told her about her crush on Robin a few months after she had dumped him. She had been delighted at this. Since then, Star had been slowly steering Robin toward Raven with subtle suggestions that they be the ones to stay at the Tower to monitor the city while she and the other guys went on Recon. "I'm sure that her body is just running tests to make sure that nothing was damaged when she, how you say, `blacked out'. She said that this might happen also."

Robin looked a little more relaxed after that, but not much. "Ok, I'll get her into her room now." She felt herself be lifted into a pair of muscular arms and a rock hard chest. She noticed that his heart beat also seemed to rise and that he seemed warmer than he had been a few seconds ago. Her heart lifted with hope.

`What can this mean? Could he like me? Does he? Oh man, he's bringing me to my room. Wait, my rooms the other way…'

She began to regain her other senses. She opened her bleary eyes towards what she thought was Robin's face. She moaned a little because her head had began to pound.

"Hey sleepy head, we're almost there." Robin's voice seemed farther away than it should have when she was in his arms.

"But Robin my room's not in this hallway…" She then realized where she was.

"Robin why are we at your room?

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Kinsha: HAHAHHA I'm so evil! This is my first fic so don't be too harsh. R&R please