Fan Fiction ❯ Teen Titans: Arachnophobia ❯ Love's in the Air! All Spiders Beware! ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: I have lost my sanity because of this chapter. Oh yeah, it was that fun to write.

A surplus of food…

Two psychotic symbiotes…

Plenty of witnesses…

Bad combination?

Oh yeah…

Watching symbiotes consume their daily nutrients of course isn't for the faint of heart. It's a savage process that even the strongest of stomachs would have trouble taking. No one should have the burden of witnessing such primal and crazed imagery. But then again, believe it or not, there is actually something worse.

Yep.

And that of course is watching symbiotes eat alongside Mammoth and Fang…

“Ugh.” Gizmo closed his eyes in disgust, watching his teammates gobble up their lunches like there was no tomorrow.

“Yummy yummy in my freakin' tummy!” Carnage sang happily as he continued to gorge himself silly.

Table manners were completely irrelevant as Venom, Carnage, Fang, and Mammoth were putting on a clinic to their respective plates of cafeteria food.

The Fearsome Five were sitting at their usual table, being accompanied by Fang and Kitten, of course being the new `top dogs' of the H.I.V.E. Academy scene. And while Gizmo and Kitten looked on disgusted at all four of our crazed gluttonous consumers, Jinx's attention was a bit more specific.

“Black and white is always right.” She sighed dreamily, staring at Venom who was now licking his spoon with that infamous tongue of his.

“Ugh, can I have some food with this gruel?” Kitten, the spoiled queen of the world, complained.

“I'll take it!”

Carnage sent a tendril soaring towards the food with the quickness of a rattlesnake and began to gorge away. Kitten stared on with shaky eyes, literally being terrified. Yes, terrified. And this was coming from a girl that makes out with a guy with six eyes, not to mention having a monster moth for a father.

“Okay,” Gizmo tossed his untouched food aside. “My appetite's gone,”

“That's ours!” Venom yelled only to be countered by Carnage.

“No way,” Carnage scowled. “Mine!”

“You already had yours you freakin' pig.”

“Ay, I'm a growing skinny kid, I need to bulk up. While you, on the other hand, look like you're on steroids.”

“Yea Venom,” Jinx added. “Besides, you'd want to save room for dessert anyway.”

“We do?” Venom grew curious. “What's for dessert?”

“… My lips,” Jinx grinned with heart eyes.

With a loud clank of Venom's spoon falling from his limp grasp there was an awkward pause. The whole table went silent, all consumption halting as if time itself had frozen. Venom peaked around the table to meet widened eyes. He sighed as he heard muffled chuckles from the whole table. The symbiote pushed his tray aside and hissed towards his scorners.

“We're not hungry anymore either.” The obsidian creature leapt off his seat and walked.

“Alright!” Carnage smiled as his tendril was once again made busy, engulfing that food with ease. He turned towards his counterpart frantically. “Hey pops where ya off to?”

“… Contemplating whether or not to hang ourselves,”

“Okay, uh… have fun!”

“Yea yea,” Venom muttered as he disappeared into the dormitory area.

“Ahhh,” Mammoth sighed with a large goofy smile. “That was really really good.”

Apparently the tank finally had enough after consuming half of the schools food supply.

“Uh crud for brains?” Gizmo ogled at his friends' extremely relaxed nature. “You know you still need to finish that research paper before lunch is over right?”

“Research… paper?” Mammoth gasped. “Oh God,” his eyes widened only now remembering that fact. He quickly got up from his seat and grabbed Gizmo by his backpack.

“Hey!”

“Sorry dude, but you're helping me.”

“What? No! You pit sniffin' monkey, let me down!”

Mammoth ignored his pleas as he ran off towards his locker, dragging a screaming Gizmo with him. Fang and Kitten looked at one another with eye rolls as they began to cuddle on the side, doing that boyfriend girlfriend thing. Carnage of course was still enjoying his self gorging while Jinx sat depressingly with her chin resting in her hands.

“Carnage,” her voice whispered.

Carnage only slurped up spaghetti in reply.

“I don't think Venom's warming up to me as much as I'd like.”

Carnage's white eyes suddenly rolled over to Jinx teasingly, reluctantly stopping his chow time in a playful chuckle.

“Aw poor you.” he sighed. “Don't worry J. Pops doesn't warm up to anyone right away.”

“… Really?”

“Yea, I mean he's been trying to kill me for what? Uh, almost a year?” Carnage pondered to himself, only to get a curious yet fearful glare from Jinx. “Well I don't remember, but anyway look at us now! We're like blood brothas.”

“Ugh,” Jinx pouted. “Well I'm tired of waiting.”

Carnage shrugged indifferently and went back to foodsville.

“Wait!”

“Gah!” The surprise caused Carnage to spray out food bits as Jinx startled him completely, leaping upwards like a rocket. A few particles landed upon Kitten's beautiful hair sending her off screaming and running. Fang glared at Carange who only laughed.

“Sorry dude.”

“You're sick.” Fang growled as he took off after his love.

“Thanks!” Carnage yelled as he turned back towards Jinx, whose gray lips slowly broke a mischievous grin.

“Maybe I haven't been assertive enough.”

“Hmmm,” Carnage scratched his chin. “Ya know what? I agree.” he spoke with his mouth full of tater tots. “You should stick on him like white on rice girl!”

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah, you're blazin' hot!” Carnage gave her the thumbs up. “Go flirt and strut that stuff. Stay glued on that crazy bastard until he can't stop thinking about you.”

“Yeah,” Jinx shined. “I'll go do that.” she grinned as she walked off to where Venom had left, fixing that obscure hair while getting ready to play that flirty game.

Carnage began to chortle at the thought of the seed he just planted.

“Good luck pops.” he chomped down a sandwich. “You're so gonna need it. Heh heh heh… Oh man,” His lips smacked with pleasure. “Good ol' PB and J, just like that old lady use to make `em at Ravencroft,” He sighed dismally in thought. “Damn, I knew I shouldn't have killed her...”

He paused as his face became distorted from thought.

“… Was that a decapitation? Or one of those good ol' throat stabs?” he spoke to himself. “Oh! It was both! Teehee! That was a good one! Oh yea…”

With that, the eating then continued.

Chomp.

( - The Astral World of `Nevermore' - )

Poor poor Spidey, God bless his soul,

For there he frantically falls from a blackened warp hole,

Soaring out, in the most violent of tumbles,

From him comes a yell, that literally causes rumbles.

“YAAAAAAAAAAH!” echoed across the astral plane… that being the beautiful sound of a teenage boy plunging to his death of course. This crazed yell was coming from our favorite arachnoid, whose number once again seemed to be up. And being wrapped up in cutesy ribbons that would be perfect for a five year old girl's birthday party, Spidey kept falling, falling, and falling - only to fall some more.

“This is so gonna hurt,” He muttered as he glared at the pink ground. He suddenly paused. “Wait a sec-”

He blinked his eyes.

“Pink?”

The collision was near and Spidey shrugged off his thoughts bracing for some serious impact. Expecting to be flattened to nothing but a pavement pancake, he was in for a pleasant surprise as he literally found himself bouncing up and down as if he were on a trampoline - the terrain being as soft as marshmallows.

After being tossed to the air and landing a couple of times Spidey began to enjoy himself, bouncing up and down with glee.

“Hey this isn't so-”

CRASH!!

Apparently the softness was only temporary.

“… Bad …” Spidey groaned as he pressed his hands to the ground, pulling his noggin out of the dirt road. He twitched a bit and took notice that the ribbons around him were gone. The boy quickly leapt to his feet to take a glance around. What he saw swiftly brought him to a breathless state and saying the area looked pleasant was quite an understatement.

This place was too pleasant.

Pleasant to the point of freakiness,

“Uh, why do I feel like I'm in one of those Teletubby episodes?” Spider-Man gasped as he looked at the area around him that seemed to be created by a toddler with a broken paint brush. The pink mountains, the purple trees, and the perky yellow sky were a bit hard to adjust to and Spider-Man just scratched his head, completely clueless.

“Okay, Spidey you've been in weirder places before. Mysterio's kooky little magic house, that Symbiote planet, the-” Spidey paused as he noticed a floating strawberry that soared over his head. After a long hard stare at the fruit, he sighed.

“… Never mind,”

Suddenly Spider-Man heard a playful giggle that caused him to turn with a panicky twitch.

“Raven?” The voice seemed to be carrying from all directions.

“Uh Raven?” He asked shakily again. “… If that's you this isn't funny. You giggling like that is just plain creepy.”

“Hehehehe, you're so funny.”

Spider-Man froze as he heard those words.

“I'm funny?” He scowled. “Alright no more games! Who are you? And where the heck am I?”

“Oh games! Yay! I love games! Hey, I know what would be fun! Let's tell each other jokes!”

“Um, how about let's not and just say we did?”

“No silly! I'll start. Okay, Knock Knock!”

“Uh,” Spidey hesitated but slowly decided to play along, hoping this would entice his capturer to show herself. “Who's there?”

“Boo.”

“Boo who?”

“Aw, don't be sad!” Spidey turned to the now loud as can be voice. “Be happy like me!”

“Wait… GAH!” Suddenly he felt a weight bare down on him like a bunch of bricks as a pink hooded figure leapt into his arms, forcing him to carry her like a couple that had just been wed.

Spider-Man stared at the girl in his grasp as she was grabbing him around the neck in a playful tug. He sweat dropped as he stared at those purple eyes that should have been scowling. His jaw dropped at that hooded cloak that was a hot pink and not a cold blue.

Raven in… pink?

“Okay, who are you and why the hell do you look exactly like Raven?”

“I am Raven you Silly Sally.” The girl giggled.

“… Did you just call me a Silly Sally?”

The girl nodded gleefully.

“… You can't be Raven.” Spider-Man reasoned.

“Um alright,” the girl smiled mischievously. “Can I be like a princess then? Like Snow White? Or Cinderella?”

“Uh,” Spidey sighed as he placed the hooded girl down and stared at her very harshly. “… So you really are Raven?”

“Well duh! Can't you tell?” She laughed like a complete ditz, flapping her cape and twirling around like the innocent girl she was.

“But, why are you dressed in pink? Where am I? Why are you acting perkier than Starfire? And why the heck does this place smell like cookies?”

“Whoa,” The pink hooded Raven grew dizzy by the questions. She quickly composed herself. “Okay uh, because I love pink. You're in Raven's mind, and-”

“Wait,” Spider-Man halted. “Did you just say `Raven's mind'?” he took a look at his happy surroundings and scoffed. “Riiight.”

Raven sat as she bit her fingernails in deep thought.

“Okay… I love pink… you're in Ravens mind…” She clapped in victory. “Yeah! I did say that.”

“So I am in her mind… I guess… but you mind telling me how?”

“Ugh,” Happy interrupted with a leap. “This is boring, let's go have some fun. I didn't bring you here for all these questions!”

“Wait, you brought me here?”

“Yup!”

“… Why?”

“To thank you, you funny boy!” Happy smiled brightly as she started to jump up and down, pushing on Spidey's shoulder for leverage.

“Thank me?” Spidey questioned. “… For what exactly?”

“Hmph,” Happy pouted. “You ask too many questions. Let's just start having fun.”

Suddenly Happy reached for Spider-Man's mask.

“Whoa wait a sec,” Spidey gently grabbed her hands. “What do you think you're doing?”

“Well, I wanna see the face of the boy that makes me laugh so much.”

“Okay first off, from the looks of it, I think you'd laugh at anything. Second I'm not taking off my mask.”

“Why?”

“Because my identity is a secret.”

“Why?”

“Because I don't want people close to me getting hurt.”

“Why?”

“Huh? `Why?” Why not?”

“I dunno.”

“…”

“Come on,” Happy smiled. “It'll be fun.” she grabbed onto the mask again and Spidey hurriedly grabbed onto it as well, thus starting a tug of war that Happy was thoroughly enjoying.

“I have to see your face. I bet you're totally cute!”

“No! Raven please! It's like Robin. I can't be seen without my mask!”

“Why? Are you some sort of freaky spider faced thingy and you're ashamed?”

Spidey paused and slowly nodded.

“Yea, that's it, and I don't want you to see me.”

“Oh,” Happy suddenly stopped tugging as she stared at him. That `front' was only passing. “Hmm, you must look totally cool! I wanna see!”

“What? No!”

Happy giggled loudly as the tugging continued. She was now planted on Spidey's shoulders pulling with all her might while our crimson hero held on to his mask for dear life. This Raven was just relentless with her efforts and Spidey needed to think and think fast.

“Whoa look!” he pointed. “Candy!”

“Candy?” Happy turned. “Where?”

Spidey used the distraction and tossed Happy off of him. She fell on her rear end laughing loudly as she was as always having fun, even if in pain. With a furious sprint that even surprised himself, Spider-Man took off like a race car, soaring down the paved roadway at incredible speeds.

“Hey! You tricked me!” Happy pouted as she levitated herself to a stand. “Come here you slippery smarty pants!”

“Raven, are you completely insane?” Spidey yelled back as he glared at Happy running at him with her hands spread out, making airplane noises. “… Ugh, stupid question.”

Spidey continued to sprint until he came across what looked to be a gateway. The gothic structure of the portal made him hesitate but as he turned and saw that pink fury of joy come barreling at him he sighed.

“Talley ho,” Spider-Man muttered as he held his breath in a prayerful dive into the portal.

( - A Skip, a Hop, and an Astral Warp Later - )

From the fluffiest of the fluffy to the creepiest of the creepy,

That's what Spidey was thinking as he looked around his ominous `space' type surroundings. There were sharp gray rocks scattered all over its terrain, dead trees that just screamed trouble, and birds… no ravens with four eyes that looked like they came straight out of the works of Edgar Alan Poe.

“Bacaw!” The birds screeched aggressively as they eyed the boy in front of them.

Now this was how Spider-Man pictured Raven's mind would look like.

Spidey glanced at a small raven that soared off into the space like sky, only to disappear like a ghost. He slowly rolled his eyes back to the pathway ahead and began to walk, plainly a bit freaked out.

“Funny how this isn't scaring me as much as that Barneyland.”

“Hey Spidey! I see you!”

“Oh no,” Spider-Man turned and noticed Happy right on his tail. “Raven, this is so not funny!”

“Sure it is!”

Spidey sighed as getting through to this `Raven' obviously wasn't working. He picked up the pace of his sprint, thinking about how exactly he was going to get out of this mess.

“Okay, gotta think… think… think…” after a few seconds he grumbled. “Oh who am I kidding? I have no freakin' clue how-” Spider-Man was suddenly muffled as he turned only to be stopped abruptly by something soft... very soft. He froze completely unsure of what exactly to do. Whatever it was that stopped him, it was warm and his face was planted into deeply, engulfing his entire vision.

All he saw was black… it felt so, tender.

“Having fun?”

“What the-” The arachnoid froze completely as he slowly looked up to see two purple eyes glaring at him. “GAH!” Spidey leapt back pulling his face away from a certain girl's ample chest. The girl giggled as she watched him shamefully backpedal, Spider-Man's mask eyes widening in horror.

“I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-”

“Oh, think nothing of it.” The green hooded girl snickered. “I didn't mind a bit.”

“Huh?” Spidey then took a harder look and noticed that this girl too looked familiar. “… Raven?”

“That's my name, don't wear it out.”

“But… but… but…” Spidey then sighed. “Uh… was I just… uh… in your… um…”

“Yes you were Spider-Bro.” A new voice called out saving the babbling buffoon. Spider-Man gulped realizing that the voice was once again familiar. With a turn he was met with another hooded girl, this one in orange.

“Good thing Raven's so well built.” The orange hooded Raven stuck her chest out proudly. “Gotta love those airbags eh Spidey?”

The two girls giggled as they gave each other a high five. Spider-Man was awestruck.

“Okay, now there's two Ravens and you both had a costume change… nothing weird about that.” Spidey muttered all the while feeling his face, still embarrassed of what had just happened.

“Boy, you are cute.” The green one smiled.

“Yea, we're going to love having you around as a pet.” The orange one belched.

“Hold it you two! I found him first! He's mine!”

Spidey spun to see Happy leaping towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a choke. The momentum caused them both to fall over and Happy hugged him tightly as she landed on top, keeping him away from her sisters.

“Ow,” Spider-Man groaned as his mask eyes were literally swirling. Happy smiled brightly, tightening her grip.

“He's mine! All mine! Mine-mine-mine-mine-mine!”

“Oh pipe down sunshine,” Happy was forcibly yanked off by her Brave counterpart. “There's enough to go around.”

Happy pouted as Spider-Man grabbed his head feeling as if he had been spun around in a chair for an eternity. The three Ravens glared down upon him with brightened eyes.

“Okay,” Spidey moped as he slowly got up. “What's going on?”

“Nothing,” Gross grinned lazily. “But you sure got it going on - cool costume.” she playfully pulled at it.

“Hey!” Spider-Man commented as he pushed her hand away. Brave chuckled.

“Yea, nice butt too.”

Slap!

“HEY!” Spider-Man yelped as he quickly backed away clutching his rear end in a fearful jump. The three Ravens giggled as he scowled.

“Okay who the heck are you three and where's the real Raven?”

“We're all Raven dude.” Brave answered as the three stalked him into a corner.

“Wait, I'm in Raven's mind,” Spider-Man looked at each of them. “… So you three must be different facets of her personality?”

“Ding ding ding ding ding! You are correct!” Gross teased. “Sister can you tell him what he's won?”

“A kiss,” Brave grinned devilishly, “From all three of us.”

Spider-Man raised a brow.

“Yay a kiss!” Happy pranced.

“So you're all part of her subconscious personality… hmm, now let me guess,” He pointed towards Brave. “You're her crazy side.” He then pointed to Gross. “You're her crazier side.” And then finally he pointed to Happy. “And you're her craziest side.”

They all giggled.

“Yep, we're all crazy.” Brave grinned. “Crazy about you,”

“Uh huh,” Gross growled. “Now let's stop talking and see what's behind that mask!”

“Cripes,” Spider-Man cracked as he backed away slowly.

“Alright girls,” Brave snickered. “Let's bag ourselves a spider…”

“… Mommy…”

( - The H.I.V.E. - )

The sounds of cartoon jibber jabber and Carnage's chuckles were echoing hand and hand, rectifying down the hallways of the H.I.V.E academy. Cassidy was beside himself in laughter as he stared at his newly purchased mini T.V. set that was snug in his hands, its remote dangling in one of his many flailing tendrils.

“Heh heh heh that Sponge Bob.” Carnage laughed. “Cracks me up every ti-”

“Yo offspring!”

“Venom?! Gah!” Carnage quickly switched channels into something he would be more expected to watch.

“YEA ORTIZ! KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH!”

Venom ran over to Carnage, breathing heavily as if he had been participating in an all day marathon.

“Dude V you okay? I haven't seen you run this hard since Juggernaut kicked your ass.”

“Ay! First off that was a lucky punch.” Venom growled. “Secondly uh, wait a sec, is that a T.V.?”

“Yea man, awesome huh?” Carnage held it proudly. “Evil R Us gift certificate put to good use. Ow!”

Venom grew puzzled.

“How is this crap `evil'?”

“Oh, it's sponsored by Martha Stewart.”

“. . . ,” Venom sighed as he spoke with that sarcasm. “Please get that vehicle of Satan away from us.”

“Well, it is a small detonator too ya know.”

“What?” Venom pushed the T.V. away. “Now seriously, get that shit away.”

“Don't worry,” Carnage reassured. “Ya have to press a complex password that only I know into the remote. Chill out.”

“Chill out?” Venom's eyes suddenly doubled in size. “Oh yeah Carnage ol' buddy ol' pal, mind doing an old friend a favor?”

“Ol' buddy ol' pal?” Carnage only stared and huffed as Venom put a hand on his shoulder. “Okay, how much money do you want?”

“No no no,” Venom shook. “It's Jinx, you gotta get us away from her! That girl can't get a damn clue!”

“Aw, Venom's little crush a little too much to handle?” Carnage made kissy noises.

“Seriously, she's been stuck on us like-”

“White on rice?”

“Yea,”

“Heh I don't see the big deal here. Why don't you just have your fun? She's cute. Get some damn action you lame brain.”

“We can't.”

“Why?”

“Because, we're taken,”

“Oh God not this Anne crap again,” Carnage moped. “Seriously you gotta let it go.”

“But-”

“Even if she is your girlfriend, which she's not, what's wrong with a little play on the side? We're in a different dimension remember?” Carnage began knocking on Venom's head. “Hello McFly?? Anybody home?”

Venom growled as he shoved his hand away.

“Look, we're loyal to our love okay? That's just the way we are.”

“So let me get this straight. You can rip someone's heart out and eat it but you can't cheat on your supposed girlfriend?”

“Exactly,”

“And they call me the psychotic one.” Carnage groaned. “Sheesh, nothing worse than a symbiote with morals.”

“Whatever,” Venom growled. “Will you help us?”

“Fine,” Carnage looked around and noticed a nearby closet. The symbiote slammed a button and the metal door slid open. “Hide in here and I'll cover for ya.”

“Thanks man, we owe ya one.”

“No prob, what's family for eh?”

Venom hopped into the small room and as on cue down came Jinx strutting down the hallway prancing along with dreamy eyes. Carnage looked at her in a curious manner, noticing the skips in her step.

“Now that's one love sick puppy.” Carnage stared.

“Hey C,” Jinx peered around. “Have you seen my cutie Venom around?”

“Hmm, you know, now that ya mention it.” Carnage grabbed Jinx by her hand, opening the closet.

“Huh?” Venom gasped loudly as Jinx was tossed in. Carnage chuckled slamming the door shut. He quickly adhered the opening with his pseudopodia so that escape would be futile.

“Gah! Jinx… please… okay… you're a nice girl and all…”

“Uh huh,”

“And we really think you're totally cool…”

“Uh huh,”

“But we have a girlfriend… you understand don't you?”

“Uh huh,”

“Ugh … you're not listening to a damn thing we're saying are you?”

“Uh uh,”

“Oh boy…”

And that was when the thrashing and screaming of Venom began. Carnage listened as he laughed mockingly.

“You'll thank me later dad.” he chortled walking off only to stop angrily. “Hmm, why don't I ever get the girl? I need some lovin' too ya know!”

Suddenly Bumble Bee chose an opportune time to turn the corner and Carnage hissed.

“Hey you! Wanna `bee' my girlfriend?”

“What?” Bumble Bee gasped. “Hell no! Are you crazy?”

“Girl… you have no idea…”

Carnage laughed maniacally, tossing the T.V. and remote down as he ran after Bumblebee, who was in turn running for her life. The remote slammed to the floor violently as well with the monitor.

Discharge sequence activated… Detonation in t-minus 10 seconds…

The whistling of a certain white haired evil man could be heard as Brother Blood strolled down the hallway.

“Oh, what is this?” he muttered, walking by Carnage's mini T.V. “Bah, our students desperately need some lessons in the horrors of littering.”

Headmaster Blood picked up the monitor and walked off to discard it.

Self detonation in 5… 4… 3…

“Self what?”

2…1…

“Oh no…”

KABOOM!

( - Raven's Mind - )

Spider-Man was definitely in a pickle. Everywhere he ran in this crazy maze it was a dead end.

Left turn?

Wall.

Right turn?

Wall.

Both ways turn?

Wall.

Go into the dark maze Spidey, you can lose them in there. Spider-Man mocked himself. Oh yeah but I forgot to mention you could get lost too… STUPID SPIDEY! STUPID!

Spider-Man angrily slapped himself again and again for choosing to go into this maze instead of taking his chances outside. When in desperation the mind doesn't usually respond to the best of its abilities and Spider-Man was learning this the hard way.

“Alright, right or left? Right or left?” Spidey hit the intersection and looked left only to see Gross chuckling while playfully sending smooches his way. “RIGHT!”

Spider-Man took off in the direction and ran like the wind. With a few more zig zags through the maze of doom he finally slowed down a bit, growing a bit tired from this chase. His pants were becoming heavier and he was forced to come to a stroll.

“You can't slow down just yet Spider-Cutie.”

Spidey turned to see Brave staring at him, but it wasn't just any stare mind you. It was an upside down stare! But of course this arachnoid was used to viewing people inverted.

“Uh, how are you standing upside down?” Spidey questioned.

“Because I'm not the one that's upside down,”

“Oh,”

Suddenly the world turned and the two positions became flip flopped. Spidey sighed as he stood cross armed while Brave admired him.

“Wow, you didn't fall.” Brave winked. “Your powers are kick ass.”

“Thanks,” Spider-Man grinned as he back flipped and fired a web line that blinded Brave.

“Hey!”

“Sorry!” Spidey apologized genuinely as he fell to the ground and took off running again. The turns came furiously, as he began to finally get a general clue of his whereabouts, seeing these familiar turns for the hundredth time.

“Wait is that? Yea… score!” he celebrated as he saw the faint light and made a mad dash towards the opening. Suddenly three black manifestations shot up from the ground and Spidey skidded with flailing arms to a reluctant stop.

“And where do you think you're going?” All three asked in unison.

“Aw man.” Spidey moped as he backed away from his stalkers.

“Sorry Spider-boy, but we need to see what you look like.” Brave said.

“Look girls, I really don't think this is such-”

Spider-Man felt something touch his back and he leapt up in total surprise.

“AAAAAAH!”

Another yell echoed simultaneously.

“AAAAAAH!”

The being Spidey bumped into literally shrunk a few sizes, with tears running down her eyes. Spider-Man quickly lowered his defensive stance and stared at the gray hooded girl in front of him. That saddened face was just too much.

“Hey… I'm sor-”

“AAAAAH!”

Spidey was interrupted by another scream. He turned to see Brave give Happy a hard smack, causing the pink hooded girl to rub the back of her head.

“And why the hell are you screaming?”

“Uh, because everyone else was?” she giggled.

Gross and Brave sweat dropped as they shook their heads at their bimbo sister. Spidey didn't react to the antics too much as he was just staring at this new Raven who seemed to be frightened out of her mind. Apparently it was her timid side…

Raven has a timid side? He awed. Wowzers.

“Hey… uh it's okay.” Spider-Man whispered. “I'm sorry.”

“No you're not,” the girl whimpered.

“Of course… I am,” Spidey stuttered. Seeing this Raven was definitely peculiar, she having a happy and a gross side was hard to grasp in itself. But seeing `this' Raven was just mind boggling. That blue hooded girl never looked scared.

Never.

“Y-y-you don't like me,” Timid assumed.

“What?” Spider-Man questioned. “No, no, no I like you. It's you that doesn't like me remember?”

“You like… me?”

“Of course,”

“… Really?” Timid's eyes grew a little brighter.

“Uh huh,” Spidey nodded. “We're friends right?”

Timid stopped crying and just stared at the ground while Spider-Man was losing more of his sanity by the minute.

“Can't we be more than friends hot stuff?” Brave countered as she pushed and came face to face with the arachnoid.

“Yea, enough games we want to see your face and we want to see it now.” Gross commanded.

“Come on girls… I-”

“Enough.”

A new voice filled with strength chimed in. Spider-Man turned and sighed dismally as yet another Raven had shown up.

“Okay,” He glared at Brave. “How many of `you' are there?”

“Excuse my sisters Spider-Man, for they do not have the capacity to understand the nature of having manners.”

“I am well aware of that.” Spidey stated, staring at the Ravens who were now all gawking at him.

“Well I am not like them.” This yellow hooded bifocal wearing Raven stated as she turned to her sisters, specifically Happy, Gross, and Brave. “You all are acting like a bunch of rabid dogs.”

“Heh dogs? Wait a sec.” Gross chuckled. “… That would make us bitches, wouldn't it?”

“Yea!” Brave grinned proudly. “We're Spidey's bitches. Hahahaha!”

The two once again gave that girl power high five as Gross belched.

“Ugh,” Smart groaned in disgust.

“Riiight,” Spider-Man sighed as he turned to Smart. “So I guess you're Raven's bookworm self?”

“You could call me that if you please. But that is irrelevant. I have a lot to discuss with you and if you want to leave this astral plane, I suggest you follow me.”

“Shoot, don't have to tell me twice.” Spidey muttered as he did as he was suggested, all the while the other Ravens stared at his every move, slowly trudging along with giggles erupting from their muffled mouths.

( - The H.I.V.E. - )

“And now Carnage productions presents for your distinct pleasure, “Teenage Love” brought to you by hand puppets.”

Carnage stood happily behind a table along side Gizmo and Mammoth, with two hand puppets formed by his alien suit. The puppets had striking resemblances to a certain black symbiote and pink haired sorceress that we all know and love.

Only trouble could come out of this.

Only trouble.

“Hey everyone! I'm Jinx and I wuv my widdle Venny Poo!” Carnage performed his ventriloquist thing in the most feminine voice he could muster, acting out the scene with his Jinx marionette.

“Oh God,” Gizmo muttered as he began to tear up with laughter.

“And piss off everyone! Because we are Venom!” Carnage mocked his father to perfection. “And we are so damn grumpy all the time because we literally have a stick lodged up our ass!”

Carnage began to flex with his Venom hand puppet making Gizmo and Mammoth fall over.

“Oh man,” Mammoth groaned as he was clutching his stomach.

“Yea… I can't take much more of this...” Gizmo said muffling his face into the table.

“Oh Venom, I love you so much.” Hand puppet Jinx begged. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Oh yes Jinx we love you so much too. Please we need you in our arms now.”

Carnage began to press the two puppets together in a mock make out, making kissy noises and all that fuzzy goodness. Mammoth and Gizmo began to slap their heads in laughter that could be heard throughout the entire school.

“Oh Jinx, we think you're the cat's pajamas! Will you marry us?”

“Yes, Venom, oh yes!”

Carnage continued to have his off beat fun but he noticed the laughs suddenly died down. He looked at Gizmo and Mammoth who were now whistling with their backs turned. Carnage gulped.

“He's right behind me isn't he?”

Carnage was replied with slow nods.

“Nice,” he turned to be met with a totally not amused Venom. Carnage reluctantly looked over Venom's shoulder to see Jinx who was leaning against the wall giggling, her cheeks a flush pink. He turned back to Venom whose face was still as intense.

“Hey pops, how was the-”

Carnage was suddenly muted by a choke.

“The way we see it you have two choices.” Venom hissed. “You can either die slowly… or die even slower.”

“Heh, can't it be really really slow?” The grip tightened. “As… in… dieing… of… old… age?” Carnage gagged jokingly.

“Put him down.”

The Fearsome Five all turned to see Brother Blood clearly not in a good mood. The man literally looked to have been scorched by a bomb of some sort. Venom skewed at the sight as he dropped Carnage who stopped coughing enough to chuckle as he noticed left over scraps from his T.V. set lodged in Blood's hair and pieces held in his hands.

“What the hell happened to you?” Venom questioned as he turned to Carnage, who just shrugged indifferently.

“No need for specifics,” Blood sighed as he looked at the five teenagers with his eyes glowing. “Alright my students, tonight is the night you five will strike. Prepare yourselves. Soon the Teen Titans will learn that this city is no longer their own…”

The Fearsome Five looked at one another as sadistic grins grew on their faces.

The time had come.

( - Raven's Mind - )

“Okay so let me get this straight,” Spider-Man huffed, sitting cross-legged across from Smart upon the rocky grounds of Raven's astral planes. “So Raven has to keep her emotions bottled up inside so that her powers don't go completely haywire, correct?”

“Correct,”

“So in turn there are eight of you spirits which are the result of her breaking her soul into separate entities to keep her emotions in check, right?”

“Right,”

“Oh,” Spidey nodded in semi-understanding. “So that's why Raven's kinda uh… well…”

“Dead pan?”

“Hah, you said it.”

Smart giggled a bit as she fixed her bifocals.

“… No wonder she is so drawn to you.”

“Uh who's drawn to me?” Spider-Man ogled. “Raven?”

“Of course,”

“You're kidding me.” Spidey stated wide-eyed.

“I kid you not.”

“Uh,” Spidey grew tense. “She sure doesn't act like it.”

“My naïve spider, it is difficult for even the common girl to show their admiration for another.” Smart countered. “Now think how hard it is for a person like Raven to do so.”

“Hmm,” Spidey scratched his chin. “Intrigue me oh wise one!” his mask eyes widened like a kitten's would.

“Charming,” Smart laughed again only to grow serious. “Raven was forced to create us and keep us isolated from the real world out of fear that she would become out of control. There are two types of spirits that she had to create. There are the positives and the negatives.”

“… And I am guessing that pink one is a negative?”

“Hey! I heard that!” Happy pouted as she was playing patty cake with Timid, who by her non-participation in the game apparently didn't know they were playing in the first place.

“Joking,” Spidey yelled over to her. “Sorry yellow, please continue.”

“Spider-Man, your high-spirited nature has given us, her spirits, all a glimpse of the outside world to which she prevents us from seeing.”

“Um, come again?”

“Raven is afraid to feel because of her inability to control her negative energies. But since you have arrived, she's been slowly opening up all be it reluctantly.”

“Wait, a sec.” Spidey began to realize something. “So if most of you think I'm funny then that means she did laugh at that Cyborg joke didn't she?”

“… I'm afraid so.”

“Hah! I so knew it!” Spider-Man celebrated by doing a little dance. “Who made Raven laugh? I did! Ow!”

“In all seriousness here, your positive influence is having an affect on her very sub-conscious nature.” Smart sighed. “So I… no… we… beg you to continue to push her.”

“Push her?” Spidey stopped his jig. “Uh what do you mean? Like off a cliff? Uh, I don't think she'll like that very much.”

“No,” Smart groaned at the joke. “I am telling you to let her emotions out. Make her laugh. Make her happy.”

“But, uh, I thought you said that was a bad thing?”

“Raven,” Smart sighed at her thoughts. “She's hardheaded. She believes that she cannot feel happiness because in turn she'll become soft and let her other emotions take over. Truthfully she's only lying to herself.”

“So, you want me to make Raven laugh… even if she threatens my life?”

“If you please,”

“Alrighty then,” Spider-Man paused in deep thought, only to be interrupted.

“Okay enough of this nerd girl.” Brave suddenly jumped in and grabbed Spidey in a playful headlock. “This bore talk is so over.”

“Yay! Let's play!” Happy laughed.

“You do know that if you want to play with me, my head still needs to be intact right?” Spidey mumbled in Brave's tight grip as she began giving him a playful noogie.

“Hello all.” A voice that reaped of evil whispered as three new Ravens with dark glares appeared - one in purple, one in brown, and the one that spoke who was in blood red.

“Why the hell are you here?” The other five Ravens growled as they eyed the one in red.

“Nice to see you too sisters,” The four eyed spirit growled as the ones in brown and purple stood silent along side her.

Wrapped in countless chains and with eyes glowing a dark red, Spider-Man gulped as he stared at this Raven. Suddenly he felt a body press up against him and he looked to see that it was Timid, hiding behind him.

“Um, can I hide behind you, this time?” Spidey muttered as the red eyed Raven glared at him with blood thirsty eyes.

“So you're the one that has been on Raven's mind.” Anger chuckled as she examined a literally frozen Spider-Man. “You are impressive on the battlefield. Tell me, how would you feel about murdering an innocent bystander and eating their innards?”

“Um, I'd say I'm in for anything new?” Spider-Man gulped with that sarcasm still ringing from his tone.

Those red eyes continued to examine.

“Hah,” Anger's eyes glowed. “I like you little spider. I'd love to have you for dinner sometime.”

“You're not going to eat him you vile spirit.” Smart scowled.

“You just threatened to eat me?” Spider-Man received a playful nod. “Um, besides those four red eyes and sharp teeth I'd say you'd be the closest to Raven eh?”

“Indeed,”

Heh Carnage would love this one. Spider-Man thought.

“Oh well sisters I can see why Raven would like him.” Anger finally backed off. “Although I truly doubt Father would approve.”

“WHO CARES?!” All other Ravens yelled making Anger sweat drop.

“Alright enough of this stalling!” Gross hissed. “I want some action and I want some now. So what do you say girls? Off with the mask?”

“Heck yea,” Brave agreed as all Ravens besides Anger, Smart, and Timid slowly began to encircle our Spidey.

“Wait, come on gals can't you just use your imagination?”

His pleas fell on deaf ears and soon Spidey found himself in a Raven dog pile. Smoke began to kick up as hints of flailing heads, arms, and legs shot out of the clouds of dust. `Hey!'s, `Watch it!'s, and `Gah!'s filled the air as the struggling continued at a furious rate.

Soon the dust cleared and Spider-Man slowly realized that he was being pinned down by Gross and Brave, one around his arms, and the other his legs. He struggled to free himself from their grasps but their strength in this astral world was just too much. Spidey gave in to the hold and sighed while going limp, literally being wrapped in hugs.

“Come on Ravens… Give me a break-”

“Give me break! Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar!” Happy finished the song, giggling as she jumped on him. The pink cloaked Raven smiled as she playfully poked Spidey's head, preparing to pull his mask off.

“No! Don't do it!”

Happy grabbed onto the crimson cloth and slowly began to pull up, with all Ravens glaring in anticipation.

It truly looked as if Spider-Man secret identity was going to be only a thing of the past.

“Is there a problem here?”

It wasn't.

All eyes turned to the new voice - a voice that made Spidey plainly jump for joy.

“RAVEN!”

Brave, Happy, and Gross all sighed as they saw their true self. They reluctantly stopped their pulling and tugging at Spidey's costume and Spider-Man quickly leapt up feeling Brave and Gross's releasing grips. In a charge he ran over to Raven and leapt at her feet, wrapping his arms around her ankles.

“Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!” Raven only rolled her eyes as she telepathically lifted Spidey off of her and tossed him aside.

“Will you get a grip?” Raven scowled.

“Well, I had one until you just tossed me,” Spider-Man moped. “And that hurt I might add.”

“You're lucky I don't do worse to you.” Raven stated. “I told you not to go into my room.”

“Heh heh heh,” Spidey scratched his neck. “And now I know why!”

Raven stood silent and Spidey cracked instantly.

“I'm sorry.”

Raven pressed her hand towards one of the portal gates and a warp hole quickly formed.

“Just go.” Raven commanded.

“But-”

“Go!” Raven's eyes turned white.

“Fine,” Spidey sighed as he glanced at all eight of Raven's shadows who were staring at him with their unique glares. Of course Brave, Gross, and Happy gave winks that caused him to mope his way into the portal and with one big flash Spidey's weirdest adventure ever had ended.

“Wow, he was totally fun.” Happy leapt at Raven, bouncing up and down.

“Yea, you should invite him in more often `true' me.” Gross scratched her armpit. “I think we really connected,” she turned towards Brave. “Don't you think?”

“Dream on,” Brave countered. “He liked me the best.”

“I don't know,” Anger chimed in. “He did look at me a bit warmly at times.”

There was an awkward pause.

“Right,” Brave scowled. “And what would you know about warmth you Exorcist girl wannabe?”

“Aw don't be so angry at each other!” Happy grinned. “Because he liked me the best anyway!”

“Shut up.” Raven grinded her teeth together, “All of you,”

They all complied except for a certain red hooded spirit.

“Why don't you release me from my bonds and say that again blue?”

“Whatever,” Raven flipped her cape as she walked off after Spider-Man. With one cold glare she turned. “By the way if I learn that any of you gave away any of my inner most secrets? … Let's just say we're going to have a little talk later.”

All Ravens glared upon Smart who began to chuckle nervously, down sizing a few.

“Ugh,” Raven rolled her eyes as she walked into the portal, vanishing from sight as well.

All of her spirits looked at one another and sighed.

“So… what do we do now?” Brave asked.

“Uh, we could always force Angry over here to listen to some Kenny G.” Gross replied.

“What?” Anger pouted. “NO!”

The other Ravens grinned as they prepared to torture Anger in the most inhumane way possible.

( - Raven's Room - )

Clank.

Plop.

Crash.

Bonk.

These of course were the noises that were made as Spider-Man slowly backpedaled away from Raven, knocking over random furnishings and books left and right.

“Oops,” A gargoyle statue suddenly shattered. Spidey quickly picked up the pieces and hurriedly attempted to put it together, only to see it fall apart. He looked up and those amethyst eyes glared upon him with ferocity.

“Uh… I'll pay for that.”

Spidey was now literally tripping over himself as he continued reeling back. He abruptly stopped at the door and held up his hands in surrender.

“Okay-okay-okay!” He paused. “Before you rip my head off I just wanted to tell you it was totally an accident.”

“Really?” Raven scowled. “So you walked into my room and used my mirror completely by accident?”

“Well… uh… if you put it that way…”

Raven didn't look amused.

“I'm sorry…”

“Ugh,” Raven prepared to shut the door. “Just leave.”

“No Raven please,” he begged. “Totally my bad!”

“Apology accepted.” Raven said it quickly, and pressed the button on her door to shut it but a red hand forced it open.

“Alright,” Spider-Man perked up. “Look Raven we haven't started off on a good foot and uh… can't we just start over?”

“ . . . ”

“Um, maybe we can just hang out sometime?” Spider-Man asked innocently. “I mean I've had the pleasure of sparring with Robin, fixing up cars with Cyborg, shooting spitballs with Beast Boy, and shopping with Starfire-”

Images of pink shirts scorched his mind.

“Okay so not everything was a total pleasure, but you get the idea right?” Spidey grinned weakly as Raven stood silent. “But anyway, uh, you and I we've never done anything.”

“That isn't a coincidence.” Raven replied coldly.

“Oh,” Spidey deflated. Raven bit her lip and shook her head.

“Don't think it's just you.” Raven added. “… I'm just not a people person.”

“Why not?”

“Ugh what is this 60 minutes?” Raven groaned.

“Come on, it'll be fun. We can do whatever you do. I'll just tag along like a puppy or something.”

Raven paused as she stared at those mask eyes which almost seemed to be calling out for some slack.

“I'll think about it.” She sighed and with that the door shut in Spidey's face. Spider-Man just scratched his head with hesitation.

“Okay, uh, you go do that Raven. I'll just be uh, hanging upside down in my room or something.”

Raven heard the footsteps fading away and she finally breathed easy. She strolled over to her bed and sat down angered.

“The nerve of that guy,” Raven growled to herself. “Invades my privacy, and now he expects me to be friendly with him?”

She bit her lip as she continued to stew over him. Why didn't she completely just go off on him like she would usually do? They weren't friends. She barely knew him. He didn't deserve an ounce of pity. He didn't.

It was only now Raven began to truly worry herself over what Smart had probably told him. The way Spider-Man was acting post-mirror incident just screamed `I know you don't hate me as much as you want me to think'. Did he really know that she had a crush on him?

Raven just sighed.

No… I can't like him anyway. Raven moped in thought. He's too goofy and obnoxious. It just wouldn't be right. It just wouldn't…

Raven continued to ponder as she lay back on her bed totally exhausted. She prepared to telepathically reach for her pillow but as she leaned back she felt something uncomfortable near her head. She turned and found `the gift'.

It was a photograph, a photograph of `her'.

“What?” The picture turned black and soared into Raven's hand and she stared at it. She quickly turned it around and saw a note written in black ink. The note read:

Whoa, look at you Raven! You're totally kickin' baddie ass! Please don't let this be me!

Thanks for the hospitality,

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Raven turned the picture around, and then turned it around again. She glared at the note and couldn't help but chuckle a bit to herself. She placed the picture back on her bed and stared at her mirror which was still on the floor.

… Maybe what Spider-Man learned wasn't a bad thing after all.

Or at least not as bad as the events soon to come,

Replies:

Kahrza: Hehe thanks for the compliment. But I think Marvel would be too afraid of my insanity. Hope you enjoyed this one. Later!