Fan Fiction ❯ Teen Titans: Arachnophobia ❯ Gettin' School'd Symbiote Style ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: First, thanks for the reviews guys! I appreciate it a lot! Second, the Headmistress I am using in this chapter is not the one from the `show'. This is `comic'/my other fanfic inspired so don't faint on me.

Here's some food for thought…

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Is there truly life after death?

What is the true meaning of our existence?

Does God really exist?

Is there any beneficial use of the Pythagorean Theorem in our practical lives?

Who would win in a battle of pure wits, Dr. Doom or Brainiac?

Who would win in a battle of pure stupidity, Hulk or Bizarro?

How does that Energizer Bunny keep going and going?

Do you really suppose that Fabio truly `Can't believe that it's not butter'?

And seriously for the love of all that lives… just who really did freakin' let the dogs out anyway?

(Sighs)

Anyway, these are the questions that will forever plague our minds - twisting and bending our very psyches to the brink of utter destruction. Oh yes! These innocent little debates we have in our thick skulled heads that you all think are harmless thoughts? They will lead to total chaos, anarchy, and eventually the End of the World!

MUHAHAHAHA!

(Cue Thunder Strikes)

Okay, so maybe that is a bit hyperbole. But like all questions these questions deserve answers! That is the way of our curious human psyche after all - always testing ourselves with impossible questions that will never be answered. Well, in only coincidental synchronicity of course, our favorite mind controlling evil school leader this side of the west coast was being put to the test. Oh yea, being put to the test by someone that held even more power than the one and only Headmaster Blood himself.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Headmistress of the infamous H.I.V.E. Academy… Adeline Kane.

(Cheers)

The H.I.V.E. was a strong influence in this crazy world. Their limitless recourses stretched across the U.S.A and this woman that sat before Blood funded most of it. She was the Bill Gates of the evil world one could say. But at the same time one must remember that they shared one fundamental difference.

Money wasn't the only reason one would want to date this hot vixen of a mature woman.

She was a bombshell for the older folks for sure. Defying the laws of aging such as Demi Moore, this woman kept the curves and would still make male eyes swerve. Even our Brother Blood was a bit shaky in her presence. Believe it or not, our always `cool' under pressure Headmaster always stood shakily when it came to her - although a large part of that unease was probably due to his school boy crush.

Pure evil he was folks.

But pure man he was also.

Adeline sighed out of boredom. “So Headmaster Blood, I've been hearing great things of your two newest students.”

Blood nodded a bit nervously as his superior was being displayed via satellite on his large Hi-definition screen.

“They uh deserve the praises Headmistress.” Blood nodded. “They have impressed me enough.”

“I can assume that quite easily.” The black haired woman smirked. “Although I am still a bit skeptical my successor.”

“But Headmistress, didn't you see the tapes of the first battle test I sent you?”

“Yes dear, but it arrived a bit later than you informed me.”

“Blast!” Blood growled over zealously as if he had sinned God himself. “I knew I should've used Fed Ex! My apologies…”

Headmistress Kane adjusted her stylish bifocals on screen while she shook her head in a friendly matter. “Oh no matter my dear, you've been loyal and productive enough to be forgiven. Besides I've seen the tape. Impressive to say the least,”

Blood smiled gaining a bit of confidence.

“Of course, I would never disappoint you. My eye for talent never ceases to amaze me.” Blood brushed off his sleeve.

“Funny, your arrogance does the exact same thing to me.” She countered wittily.

Blood chuckled nervously but quickly put on that mask of self-belief all villains were required to have.

“Arrogance is such a `negative' term Headmistress. I personally like to call it `confidence'.”

She smiled. “Oh call it what you will Bloody dear, but I must say I am intrigued by these two new students of yours. The H.I.V.E. Academy on the east coast always out performed your school when it comes to talent.”

Blood scowled angrily. “Well that trend will end. Carnage and Venom are twice the students that school can put out.”

“Hmm, I must agree with you from watching that tape.” Addie nodded. “They obliterated your obstacle course.”

“Yes they did, didn't they?”

(Flashback)

The giant H.I.V.E stadium was being filled to the max with incoming students. There were familiar faces everywhere and this was no surprise. If you were an evil doing teen in Jump City this was `the place' to be after all. And these H.I.V.E. members of new and old were in for a treat, for they were about to witness a battle test that would rock the foundation of this establishment.

Literally!

“I wonder how they are going to do.” Jinx pondered.

“They're gonna stink it up, duh.” Gizmo replied. “No one does diddly squat on the first try.”

“Yea, we totally sucked.” Mammoth added.

“We didn't do that bad.” Gizmo retorted. “Well actually maybe you did.”

Jinx giggled at Mammoth's angry glare as the three H.I.V.E sat in their usual front row seats, being tops in their class. She took a peak around the arena. “What's taking those two so long?”

“Probably chickened out,” Gizmo guessed. “No one can run this obstacle course with a two man team. Right M?”

Mammoth was obviously preoccupied. “Where's that damn popcorn guy?”

“You're thinking about food, heh, that's a surprise.” Gizmo insulted. The soul patched meta-human only grinned.

“At least you admitted that I can think now! Woohoo!”

Gizmo gasped at the realization. “Uh, can I take that back?”

Jinx quickly interrupted. “Hey look! It's them!”

Students from all rows began to take notice of our two symbiotes in human form as they were stretching confidently. Jinx took a gander at the two and smiled.

“So that's what they look like under those masks.” she then eyed the one of them more specifically. “The one in black is sorta… cute.”

Mammoth and Gizmo only sweat dropped.

“Can this place get anymore damn yellow?” Venom noticed the surrounding amber walls.

Carnage shrugged. “Meh, it's going to be stained with blood pretty soon anyway.”

“… Good point.”

“Gee, just look at us dad.” Carnage glared. “We're the center of attention!”

“Whoopee!”

Sarcasm obviously showed that Venom couldn't wait for this worthless crap to be over.

Carnage sighed as he stretched. “You know for a symbiote you're really freaking lame? Have some fun with this sheesh. You've been shit company ever since we got here.” he paused. “Come to think of it you've always been shit company!”

“Why whatever do you mean?” Venom mocked. “We're having a blast can't you tell?” he forced a half-assed smile.

Carnage laughed. “Now that's better!”

Venom only shook his head while rolling his eyes. Suddenly the voice of Brother Blood exploded through the arena speakers.

“AlrightCarnage,< b>Venom are you two prepared?”

“Do we have to be?” Venom shrugged. Carnage nodded. “Hell yea! Bring on the victims baby! Ow!”

“Okayon the count of three you two will begin.”

Carnage skewed. “Um when you say on the count of three, do you mean `on three'? Or will it be like 1, 2, 3, and then go? Or will-”

“Oh God will you just start the freaking thing already?”

”Very well then… 1… 2… 3… BEGIN!”

A loud buzzer sounded off and the two symbiotes stood ready for whatever was to come. Suddenly platforms and pillars started to move at random and Venom groaned at the sight.

“What the hell is this? A damn Mario videogame?”

A rumble was then heard and out of the rising pillars came black and white H.I.V.E robo-soldiers ready to deal out some major pain. Venom and Carnage moped at the mere presence of these metallic morons.

“Shit, I was expecting `live' victims here.” Carnage saddened.

Behind the robots appeared another barrage of pillars only these had tentacles that flailed recklessly prepared to make minced meat out of our duo of symbiotes.

“Whoa, Doc Ock alert eh Venom?”

Venom was about to reply but noted that numerous panels in the honeycomb wall began to open, loaded with missiles ready to fire. The symbiotes looked at one another with an indifferent shrug.

“Let's rip this place apart pops.”

“You just read our mind.”

Venom and Carnage's voices began to warp and distort as they spoke, letting that sluggish ooze that has brought nightmares to many run down their faces. Gasps of disgust came from the teenage crowd while the two started to laugh like utter maniacs. White eyes, claws, and teeth began to form and with screeches of the high pitched nature, our two symbiotes were now ready to handle their business.

“Damn…” Mammoth mumbled, echoing the thoughts of the hundred or so H.I.V.E. members watching in pure repulsion yet amazement. There was dead silence as the `kids' got their first look at symbiotes in their work clothes. Gizmo's jaw dropped along side his partners as they shook their heads in denial at the mere sight of the serrated teeth dripping with green saliva.

“Bleh.” Mammoth grimaced.

“That is freakin' disgusting.” Gizmo complained.

“Yea, I just hope for their sakes that they're as good as they're ugly.” Mammoth added.

“Ugly?” Jinx seemed offended. “I think that black one looks… totally cool.”

Gizmo and Mammoth slowly looked over to Jinx who was leaned over on the railing with her chin buried into her hands. She had such a funny look on her face they swore they saw her eyes turn into hearts. The duo then gave each other a stare of horror and disgust at this realization.

The two H.I.V.E boys fell over simultaneously.

“Oh man,” Venom's tongue slithered out. “This feels freaking great.”

“Yeah, I think I was getting withdrawals not being at my ugliest.”

“Alright,” Venom cracked his neck. “Let's go.”

Carnage nodded “Oh yeah, I think it's about time we turn this place into a scrap heap!”

And of course when Carnage wants a scrap heap, a scrap heap was what he was going to get - regardless. The symbiotes gave each other one last mutual nod before unleashing their unrivaled aggression, using it to literally rip this course to shreds. In seconds robotic arms and limbs started to soar across the arena, sending circuitry spraying out from the dismembered metal parts. Heads of course soon followed that trend.

Tendrils clashed with tentacles and webbing wrapped up missiles. Explosions echoed, metals crushed, and mouths were dropped wide-open as Venom and Carnage tore through the course with sickening laughs. Of course they would be laughing. Symbiotes lived for this kind of stuff. Destruction was a staple in their devilish background and these two cherished that more so than even their normal counterparts.

With a toss of the last remaining obliterated robot Venom groaned. “Dude these toys suck.”

“Uh huh,” Carnage agreed. “These things make those Spider Slayers look like Galactus.”

The two took notice of the blank stares that filled the arena and shrugged.

“We guess we're done.” Our black symbiote quickly web slung his way over to the finish line indifferently and with a flip and a foot plant he was resting on the final post. The buzzer went off signaling their completion and Venom morphed back into human form as he looked out to the silenced crowd.

“Uh… congratulations you two… you have set a new course record. 45…seconds.”

The H.I.V.E students were more silent then before. But that was suddenly broken as cheers began to erupt at this accomplishment. Venom took the cheering with his usual apathy. “Yay, we're being cheered for. We're so happy we're going to totally not give a hoot!”

The black symbiote then took a bored glance around looking for Carnage. After a few seconds he finally found his `kid'' and of course our crimson symbiote was doing his usual `Carnage' thing. Over Excessive Violence!

“DIE! DIE! DIE! HAHAHA!” Carnage screamed as he was stabbing an already downed robot's head repeatedly with his symbiotic blade.

“Uh Carnage we're done already.”

Venom only fell on deaf ears.

Stab.

“Carnage.”

Stab.

“Carnage.”

Stab.

“CARNAGE!”

“What?”

“We're done.”

“Oh,” Carnage snickered. “Cool.”

Of course the stabbing continued.

“DIE!”

Stab!

Venom grabbed his face. “Idiot…”

(End Flashback)

“Yes, it was quite a display.” Headmistress recalled. “But combat is only one prerequisite of a true graduate Blood. There are many things I look for in a student.”

“But of course. I assure you these students are impressive in everyway.”

“Please, enlighten me.”

“Well they have charisma. Take the first day of classes for example. They're introductions were very… uh… unique yet they moved the students like no one else ever has.” Blood coughed.

“Oh really?”

(Flashback II: The Symbiotes Strike Back)

Carnage slowly walked up to the front of the classroom as his best bud Venom just had his turn introducing himself. After about 20 minutes of trying to get the class to understand why he says `We' and `Us', Venom finally gave up and sat down. Of course Jinx was staring at him all the while in her adjacent desk at him as if she was literally burning a hole through his head.

“Alright Mr. Carnage, the floor is yours.” Blood informed.

“Why thank you `Head'master.” Carnage chuckled. “Okay… where to start… where to start. Oh yea! My name is Carnage. I feel like I'm about uh… sixteen give or take. My pet peeves are victims that don't scream, victims that don't beg, and victims that faint before I get the chance to gut them. You gotta see their suffering eyes ya know?”

“ . . . ” The class was speechless.

“Hmm what else? What else? Oh yeah my hobbies! Let's start with my old childhood favorite… Evisceration!”

“What the hell?” Gizmo and Mammoth yelled in disgust on behalf of the class.

“Eviceration… ya know… do I really need to explain it?”

Blood tried to intervene. “Well you don't-”

“Oh but I'd love to! You see first you take a blade right? Then-”

(Five minutes of the most disgusting descriptions one could imagine filled with blood, guts, and all that symbiote killing goodness followed.)

“And that kiddies is the pure beauty of a good-”

“Uh Carnage we think you lost your audience.” Venom noted as he was the only one left sitting in the room.

“What?”

“Yea, we think they're all in the bathroom. They were all getting pretty green.”

“Darn and I was just going to get to my love for poetry and long walks on the beach too!”

“Oh we think they'll get over it.”

(End Flashback)

Brother Blood gulped in remembrance of those descriptions feeling a bit queasy in the stomach.

“Blood?”

“Uh… yes?”

“How about their study skills? Are they excellent students? How well are they getting along with their classmates?”

“Oh they have great study habits and command great respect!”

(Flashback III: Return of The Symbiote)

“Hah, I'm totally kickin' your ass!” Gizmo celebrated.

Venom only growled pathetically as he was fighting a losing battle. Yes, even this always confident symbiote would admit he was getting his butt kicked. What exactly was this a battle of you ask? Well it was one of pure wits and concentration. It was one of determination and perseverance. It was one of honor and respect!

Yes people, it was a battle fought on a turf we can all relate to.

The videogaming world!

Boops and beeps filled the room as Gizmo and Venom were locked in a gladiator-like struggle for bragging rights. Two controllers, a Gamestation, and a copy of Final Fantasy XXII: The Fighting Game equals intense! And honestly the action was as intense as intense gets.

Jinx and Mammoth looked on in chuckles as Venom's `losing' facial expressions were purely comical.(O.o, o.O, O.O, X (,, X o, etc.)

Carnage would have been persecuting his pop's total suckage of course but he was busy at the moment. Our fav crimson symbiote sat at a desktop surfing the net. He was doing an assignment actually... yes this was the type of `work' that Carnage could say he thoroughly enjoyed. Being evil was fun! Learning how to be more evil is even more fun!

You see kids there are plenty of classes to choose from at the H.I.V.E. academy. Such as `World Domination 106', and `Criminal Injustice 103' for instance. But Carnage was doing neither at this point. The saying goes like this - `Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer'. And to do that one must know your enemy… and that is exactly what this class was about - `Know Your Enemy 101'.

Click.

“Ok… Green Lantern…” he read. “Blah blah blah crap.”

Click.

“… Batman…” he skimmed. “Blah blah blah crap.”

Click.

“Martian Manhunter… whoa that's a mouthful…” he half assed it. “Blah blah blah… mega crap.”

Click.

“Whoa!” Carnage laughed. “Yo pops I think I found someone even more lame than Captain America.”

“That's impossible.” Venom semi-replied as his virtual fighter Rikku was getting a thorough ass kicking from Gizmo's counterpart, Sephiroth. Venom sighed, “Uh what's the name?”

“Superman.”

Venom paused. “Okay maybe it's possible.”

“Oh you don't want to mess with him.” Jinx replied.

Mammoth agreed. “Yea, he's one of the big dogs on the goodie goodie side.”

“Uh yea, his costume is really making me shake in fear'.” Carnage chuckled with sarcasm as he turned to his H.I.V.E. mates. “By the way what is up with heroes in your dimension and their love for wearing underwear on the outside?”

“Maybe they think it's cute?” Jinx suggested.

“Better circulation maybe?” Venom chimed in. Mutual shrugs from Gizmo and Mammoth.

“Riiiight.” Carnage turned back to his `work'.

Click.

“NO!”

Apparently our Venom had lost.

“Sorry pit sniffer, but no one beats Sephiroth.”

Venom groaned in defeat. “Well, at least our fighter looked way hotter.”

“Holy crap!” Carnage screamed freezing the room again. The other H.I.V.E. mates glared.

“She… so… pretty.” He droned as his eyes were stuck in gawk mode on the computer screen.

”Pretty?” Venom quickly strolled over on his roller seat and glanced as well. His white pseudo eyes bulged, mimicking his counterpart at the mere sight on screen. Our two symbiotes were now officially mesmerized.

“What a freaking babe.” Venom muttered with his serpentine tongue hanging limp from his wide open jaws.

Gizmo and Mammoth quickly took their glances and their eyes turned to hearts.

“Oh yeah… Wonder Woman…” Mammoth sighed.

“Shit, what I'd give to spend a day with her.” Gizmo dreamed.

“Wonder Woman huh?” Carnage smiled disgustingly. “Well baby you got your Wonder Man right here!”

“Gah! Where is she?” Venom growled as he turned to the other H.I.V.E. members.

Mammoth scratched his head. “In space I think, with the Justice League.”

Venom nodded. “Then what the shit are we doing here? Let's go meet her!”

“Hell you got my vote!” Carnage agreed while nodding maniacally.

“We're in!” Gizmo and Mammoth added. They were all about to take off but suddenly all four chairs went `dud' and fell apart right on the spot. Our four male H.I.V.E. members groaned as they got a good taste of the hard tiled ground. Jinx's eyes faded from pink and she shook her head from jealously and anger.

“Boys…”

(End Flashback)

“Are you sure you're not building these students up more than you should?”

“Of course not Headmistress.” Blood's head shook. “I would do no such thing.”

Adeline scowled. “Alright, then how are they doing academically? How is their behavior?”

“Simply amazing and their test scores rival the best of my students. Their conduct is quite impressive actually.”

“Little angels?”

Blood froze. “Well… maybe not angels.”

(Flashback IV: Not Another Symbiote Movie)

“I am done Mr. Blood.” The young African American female in the `Bee'utiful costume stood.

“Well done Bumble Bee.” Brother Blood nodded. “The first to finish as always.”

“I learn from the best Headmaster.” Bumble Bee smiled.

She wouldn't be smiling too much longer.

“AGH!” She yelled as she felt her mickey mouse hair become entangled. She reached up to find out the cause and her hand became stuck as well. Chuckles from the back were heard and she growled at the two cacklers.

“Venom! That wasn't funny!”

Carnage looked away in a whistle while Venom shrugged. “Hey, we didn't do anything. You have no proof.”

Bumble Bee growled. “It's web… you're the only one who would do this!”

Venom shook his head. “Not true!” he turned to Fang who was making out with Kitten shamelessly. “Fang shoots web too ya know.”

Bumble Bee was steaming over now and turned to Blood. “Headmaster!”

Blood shook his head. “Sorry my dear I do believe it was just an accident… you're excused from class to do what you need to do.”

Our insect princess turned to Venom in an angry scowl as she stormed out of the classroom. Venom and Carnage looked at one another and chuckled. “God we hate teacher's pets.”

“Heh that was a nice shot Venom. Nice shot.” Carnage whispered as they both went back to the task at hand.

The tick tocks of the clock echoed loudly into the symbiotes' ears as they sat sweating bullets. Venom let out a sigh as he stared at one of the questions on the test.

It read: `If a nuclear warhead is heading south at 145 mph, and twenty scud missiles are heading parallel to the warhead at the same speed and their trajectory is changing 1 degree towards the warhead at the exponential level. When will the two meet causing an end to all life on earth?'

Venom shook his head from the headache as he turned to Carnage who was seated next to him in a pathetic glare. His counterpart didn't look like he was doing much better as his eraser marks filled his work space, not to mention all the pencils he's snapped out of anger. They began their empathic speak.

`Pops, I knew we should've studied.'

`Yea, we should've. But even if we wanted to we couldn't. That Jinx girl was clinging on to us like a vice.'

`Heh. That's my pops. Already hitting it off with the ladies! Dude you know you now officially have an interdimensional girlfriend?'

`Sorry but we're not interested.'

`Why not she's totally cute and to top it off… she actually `likes' you. How many girls do you know that you can say that about?”

Venom paused as Carnage got him with a tough question.

`Look dad, she's even staring at you now.'

Venom sighed as he slowly peaked to his left and noticed Jinx with that `funny' stare once again. The black symbiote groaned as he turned back to Carnage who was smiling his ugly smile. Our crimson madman began to make hoot noises only to be shhh'd by Blood.

`Will you calm the hell down you dumb shit?' Venom grumbled. `Anyway, we got an idea. You see baldy down there?'

They both looked at Gizmo who was, like always, breezing through the test in a bored manner.

“Uh huh.' Carnage nodded evilly. `Read you loud and clear dad.'

With the slyness of the devil, the two symbiotes sent two spying tendrils that crept low to the floor. Carnage's tendril tapped Gizmo on the shoulder causing him to look left while Venom's tendril soaked in as much information as possible. This was repeated twice more and Gizmo was totally clueless.

“What the crud?!” Gizmo turned and looked around to see Venom and Carnage looking at their tests while whistling. Carnage gave him a thumbs up while whispering. “Awesome test.”

Gizmo skewed.

Blood cleared his throat. “Mr. Gizmo is there a problem?”

“Uh… no Headmaster… it's nothing.” Gizmo scowled as he continued with his test while the peeping tendrils kept doing their thing. A few minutes pass and our Gizmo was finally done. He was about to raise his hand to signal his completion but two other hands beat him to the punch.

“We're done!” Venom and Carnage said in unison as they leapt over to Blood's table all the while stepping on other students and tossed their tests in his face.

“Great test!” Venom complimented.

“Oh yeah!” Carnage agreed.

“Uh... thank you.”

“Can we go now?” Carnage smiled as innocently as he could although that symbiote ugliness sure wasn't helping.

Blood blinked. “I believe so...”

“Sweet, that little bee couldn't have gotten too far away.” Venom snickered.

“Yea, let's go have some more fun with her!” Carnage grinned. “Later Brotha!”

Our two symbiotes then took off for more cherished Bumble Bee torment.

(End Flashback)

“So I understand now. These are your best students ever.”

Blood nodded. “Exactly Headmistress.”

“Do you believe they are enough to take down those annoying Titans?” Adeline scowled.

Blood laughed. “More than enough… besides, I have our three previous top students aiding as well.”

“Oh?”

“Yes Headmistress, with those five combined as one force there is no stopping them.”

“Hmm, interesting Brother Blood, very interesting I must say.”

The Headmaster grinned. “Just you wait until you see them in action Headmistress. They have become such a cohesive team it is almost nauseating.”

(Flashback V: How Carnage Got His Groove Back)

Our top evil teenagers of the H.I.V.E academy sat in a circle as they were discussing very serious matters. Brother Blood had just informed them that they were now the `Anti-Titans'. A group with the soul purpose of tormenting our heroes and ultimately ending their lives. Fun, fun, fun right?

The five gave each other hard glares as Gizmo stood at the chalkboard with a writing utensil in hand. Mammoth sat tinkering with a nearby pencil while Venom stood indifferently staring at the ceiling. Carnage and Jinx were the noisiest and their laughs echoed with great definition.

“And that's why Venom is so grumpy all the time.” Carnage chuckled.

“Oh, too cute.” Jinx winked towards Venom who angrily growled. Carnage grinned.

“Aw come on pops you gotta admit Parker totally schooled you that one time he tricked you into heading to a `once in a couple of months' shuttle launch. I mean come on.”

“Oh shut up.” Venom scowled.

“Aw it's okay Venny Poo. We all make mistakes.” Jinx smiled as she again used her new `pet' name for our favorite black symbiote.

Venom snarled. “Don't call us that! What do we look like some kind of dog?”

“Now that you mention it-” Carnage pondered only to be met with a fierce scowl. He chuckled nervously. “Okay never mind.”

Gizmo sighed loudly. “Will you pit sniffers get serious? We need a team name and we need one now!”

Mammoth raised his hand only to be blown off. “Look you cludge bumper we're not going to name ourselves the `Bonecrusher Brigade'.”

Our large meta-human growled in frustration as Carnage snickered. “Oh come on baldy we already got the perfect name. `Carnage and Co.'”

Venom laughed. “Oh yeah, let's name ourselves after the dumbest symbiote alive.”

“You are so mean.” Carnage teasingly frowned. “But seriously what do you want to name ourselves? The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers?”

Mammoth's eyes lit up. “YEA!”

The others scowled. Jinx shook her head. “No way.”

“Yea,” Venom agreed. “Although that pink one was so cute.”

“Yea she was…” All three other males sighed.

Jinx cleared her throat. “Okay enough… let's get serious.”

The five teens pondered. Suddenly Carnage exploded.

“By golly I got it!”

“Oh this oughta be good.” Venom crossed his arms with a snicker. Carnage smiled evilly.

“Alright what's the key to a good group name?”

Venom scratched his head. “Um a name that isn't suggested by you?”

Carnage growled. “Cute… but no jackass!”

The H.I.V.E. members stood silent and Carnage's impatience grew even thinner until he just blurted it out.

“They all have numbers at the end with matching initials!”

The other four teens looked at one another and then turned back towards Carnage. “What?”

“Oh come on dad… look at this list… The Fantastic Four, the Sinister Six, the Excellent Eleven, the-”

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.” Venom interrupted. “The Excellent Eleven?”

“Well… no one's named themselves that yet but I swear if there was an eleven member team they would so use that.”

“Riiight.” Venom, Jinx, Gizmo, and Mammoth all replied simultaneously.

“So anyway, since there are five of us we gotta pick a description that fits us that starts with `F'.” Carnage stated.

Venom nodded slowly. “How about Fuc-”

“No.” The rest replied before he could finish.

“Just a suggestion,”

And the suggestions kept coming.

“Funny!”

“Funky!”

“Ferocious!”

“Fabulous!”

“Fastidious!”

This continued smoothly until Mammoth said something that was totally out of line.

“Furry!”

All thinned eyes slowly glared towards him with vigor. Suddenly a mass of inanimate objects was thrown at our tank of a meta-human for suggesting something so stupid. Mammoth reeled back from the harsh blows and frowned as his teammates shook their heads.

Gizmo growled. “Furry Five, yea that'll strike fear into the hearts of many. I can picture it now, `Watch out Jump City! They're furrier than teddy bears!' Oh scary!”

Jinx suddenly lit up. “Fear… fear… Fearsome!”

The teens looked at one another and started to slowly nod at the suggestion. Carnage snickered. “Fearsome Five… Jinx you are brilliant girl!”

Jinx nodded with a lighthearted smile. Carnage pointed at Venom. “She deserves a smooch.”

Venom growled. “And you deserve to die.”

Ladies and Gentlemen the Fearsome Five has been born.

(End Flashback)

“The Fearsome Five,” Headmistress nodded. “Sounds promising,”

“I am quite excited to see what they can do. They are prepared and are ready to strike at any moment.”

“Well, you have impressed me with your words Headmaster Blood.” She smiled. “You always seem to do so.”

Brother Blood grinned. “That is an honor.”

“So I believe I should let you go now, I expect to see results.”

“As do I.”

“I'll be seeing you around.” Adeline said as she prepared to cut the feed. Blood suddenly spazed.

“Uh wait.”

Adeline turned with a curious glare. Blood began to sweat bullets.

“Um… I was wondering if you're not too busy this weekend that is... or any other day for that matter… uh… if you would mind having dinner with… uh… me?”

Adeline slowly broke a grin and then a chuckle. “Mr. Blood, are you asking me, your boss, on a date?”

Blood gulped. “Uh, I shouldn't have… right?”

“No, that was very brave of you.” The Headmistress nodded slowly. “And I accept.”

Blood's eyes lit up like a child. “Oh really?” he turned away from the screen and began to fist pump out of reaction. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Headmistress only glared on a bit frightened. Brother Blood quickly stopped himself and regained that `Oh so proper' demeanor. He turned. “Well I'll rendezvous with you this weekend then?”

Headmistress sighed. “Yes, but I must warn you Blood if I'm not much of relationship type gal anymore.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Uh the one relationship that was any good didn't end very well.”

“What happened?”

She grimaced as she spoke. “I uh… sorta shot his… eye… out.”

“… Out? ”

”Yea… as in… completely out… gone. Not there anymore.”

Blood gulped and Adeline smiled. “Well anyway I'll be seeing you this weekend… 7 o clock good for you?”

“Um… when you say `shot' you don't mean by like a… a… you know.”

“A gun?”

“Yes, one of those.”

Adeline giggled. “I'll see you at Saturday at 7. Tah tah Headmaster.”

“But… but… but…”

The screen went static and then blank. Brother Blood stood completely silent as he slowly touched his eye with worry. A scream as loud as gun shot soon followed.

“BROTHA!”

Blood suddenly leapt into the air totally startled and turned to see Carnage laughing his crazy laugh. He then looked behind the crimson symbiote to notice the rest of the Fearsome Five standing with their accompanying chuckles. Blood brushed himself off as he calmly composed himself again and scowled.

“Mr. Carnage there's a door. Knock.”

“Knock? Bah, that's no fun brotha. Gotta keep it cool ya know what I'm sayin'?” Carnage extended a hand for a high five but received no such thing.

Blood growled. “Don't call me that.”

Carnage just sighed as he dropped his high five position. Venom laughed. “So, somebody has a date this weekend eh?”

“What?” Blood's eyes widened. “How long were you here?”

Carnage chuckled. “Long enough to watch Headmistress blow you kisses.”

“We are all very happy for you Headmaster.” Jinx grinned. Gizmo and Mammoth began to beat box an instrumental melody only found in those naughty videos. Blood's eyes quickly turned to fire. “GET IN LINE NOW!”

After figuratively shrinking to pint sizes the Fearsome Five all lined up in army formation. Blood began to stroll back and fourth with his signature hands behind the back strut. The teenagers chuckled lightly as he stared at them.

“You five are the top students of the class by far. My pride, my accomplishments, and my goals all lay within each and every one of you.” Blood turned his back to continue his speech, although whether it was being listened to was a different story.

Carnage turned to Mammoth. “Hmm, I wonder what they're serving for lunch today.”

“Meat loaf.” Mammoth replied, remembering the serving schedule by heart. Venom stuck his serpentine tongue out. “Meatloaf? Ugh, that shit tastes horrible.”

“This coming from a guy that eats brains… that's rich.” Gizmo commented. Venom shrugged and sent a tendril that whacked Gizmo atop the head. Our green adorning mini me growled at a laughing Venom and replied with his own whack via one of his spider legs.

“Why you-”

“Is there a problem Mr. Venom?” Blood scowled. Venom dropped his aggression. “No, no there isn't.”

Blood nodded and continued his speech about H.I.V.E tradition. Venom growled as Gizmo snickered at him.

“Aw poor Venny poo.” Jinx smirked. “Want me to kiss it and make it all better?”

Venom only sighed in defeat as he turned back towards Carnage who was pointing in a mocking laugh. Blood suddenly turned. “So anyone have any questions?”

Pseudo-confident eye contacts were exchanged and everyone just nodded knowing that they hadn't been paying attention. Blood smiled. “Okay then, so who is going to be the team leader?”

“Team leader?” All five replied. They all paused as they looked at one another clueless. Carnage stepped up with a confident grin.

“I think I'm best suited as the leader. So I'll take the job.”

Venom scoffed. “Oh we don't think so. We're way better suited for this job.”

Carnage growled. “No, you're better suited to go pick up monkey crap.”

“Oh can it offspring, bottom line is we have more experience in working within a team than you.”

“Oh please you worked with the Sinister Six for a few days big wow.”

“Hey! They were a good few days.”

“You freaking ate one of your teammates!”

The four non symbiotes made disgusted faces as Venom grinned. “Oh yeah, that was fun heh heh heh.”

“Crud, you two are way too psycho to lead the team anyway.” Gizmo scowled. “So I'll be the leader.”

”Yea, just what we need a pint sized foul mouthed baby leading us.” Venom shot back.

“Oh pipe it you ugly freakin' crud eater.”

Carnage, Venom, and Gizmo growled at one another ready to rip each others' heads off.

“Hey can I make a suggestion?” Jinx intervened and received reluctant nods. “I think we should pick the most level headed person on the team. The most quick thinking, rational, and stand up person we got.”

“Agreed.” The three replied. Gizmo, Venom, and Carnage grinned each of them thinking she was speaking of themselves. Jinx smiled. “And that's why I elect Mammoth.”

“WHAT?” Venom, Blood, Mammoth, and Gizmo replied.

“Yes, Mammoth should be our leader.” Jinx nodded. Carnage scratched his chin. “You know, that might be crazy enough to work… I vote for Mammoth too!”

Mammoth was speechless just like the other `somewhat' sane H.I.V.E. members were. Blood quickly shook his head. “Uh, I believe I should decide who is leader and I say Venom and Carnage are co-leaders since they have impressed me so.”

The five only nodded indifferently as they got back in line. Blood grinned. “Congratulations you all have now graduated from the H.I.V.E. and are now full time agents.”

“Sweet!” Carnage pranced. Blood smirked. “Soon you five will be deployed and the Teen Titans will be destroyed for good!”

The Five nodded approvingly as Blood preached on. “Be prepared my students but right now I must take leave and find some bullet proof glasses.”

Blood walked out and The Fearsome Five looked at one another with a slight chuckle. Venom and Carnage grinned.

“We passed.” Carnage praised.

“Yep.” Venom replied.

“We graduated.”

“Yep.”

“We're in.”

“Ye-“

“Oh you haven't gotten `in' just yet boys.” Jinx winked breaking their pattern filled conversation. Venom and Carnage turned and their white eyes widened at the sight in front of them. Mammoth had in his hands two unicycles while Gizmo had two cute looking pink tu tus just crying to be adorned. The symbiotes turned their attention back to Jinx who snickered.

“It's initiation time.”

Venom and Carnage plainly looked at one another and let out the biggest sweat drops ever seen.

( - Titans Tower - )

Today was just another day at the big `T'. Crime was provided another daily serving of a Teen Titan butt kicking at its best and it was now resting and chow time for our favorite heroes. `Ze' Chef de jour was, of course, our favorite culinary cybernetic teenager - Cyborg! If Starfire was a virtuoso at the mall, then this kid was a virtuoso in the kitchen. Wolfgang who?

Cyborg stirred slowly and tasted his creation. “Man! Now that's a spicy meatball!” he kissed his finger tips paying homage to the stereotypical Italian way.

Ya can't lose with spaghetti and meatballs kids. Ya just can't. Or atleast that's what this obviously high spirited half-droid thought.

“Cause this is Thriller! Ow! Thriller night! Da dee da da daa do da dee da do a dee do do-” Cyborg shamelessly sang (All be it horridly) his ballets of Michael Jackson, Seal, and Boys 2 Men medleys as he did his chef thing. Starfire and Robin gave him awkward stares as they were seated over by the television set watching a rousing basketball game between the Gotham City Knights and the Metropolis Steel. Starfire's grimacing look towards Cyborg turned to a puzzled look towards Robin.

“So the point of the basketball tourney is to place that orange sphere of leather into the cylinder with the pretty white netting?”

“Exactly,” Robin nodded as he proceeded to watch superstar player Lebron James dunk over a poor hapless defender. Starfire watched as the defender fell to the ground in a pathetic display of embarrassment.

“Friend he does not look like he is having fun playing `the basketball'.”

“Yea, he sure doesn't.” Robin commented with an amazed stare.

“Dude!” Beast Boy suddenly yelled from the other side of the room. “Lemme help Cy.”

Cyborg shook his head as he was preparing to cut up some lemons. “Uh no thanks B I got it.”

“Oh come on! I've been watching some chef shows on T.V. it's a cinch.” Beast Boy pushed Cyborg aside and quickly grabbed a knife, then a lemon. Cyborg's human eye enlarged. “Wait BB don't!”

It was too late.

Our green Titan cut into the lemon forcibly or better yet too forcibly, sending the juice soaring across the air, finding its way into an `eye' - a now angry and in pain eye.

“Gah! The sting! Momma no!” Cyborg whined as he clutched his lemon'd eye. Beast Boy laughed nervously as he hid the lemon and the knife behind his back. The half-droid glared with his LED eye shining red. “Give me… the lemon.”

BB quickly complied all the while scratching his head in a weak laugh. “My bad.”

Cyborg ripped the yellow fruit away from our emerald Titan and scowled. Starfire and Robin broke into laughter as Beast Boy slowly backed away.

“Oh Lucy I'm home!”

All eyes turned to the new arrival.

“Spider-Dude!” Beast Boy greeted with a wave.

Yes, it was our crime fighting arachnoid Spidey who had just returned from alone time in the city. He looked totally upbeat as he strolled in with a bag in his hand. Starfire quickly leapt up in continuous claps. “What a joyous occasion! Our friend has returned!”

“Sup Spidey.” Cyborg muttered as he was washing his eye out by the sink. Spider-Man snickered. “What the heck happened to you?”

“Beast Boy happened to me.” Cyborg growled. Spidey looked over towards Beast Boy who was still chuckling lightly.

“So,” BB noticed the bags in Spidey's hands. “What did you bring back?”

“Oh,” Spidey looked down. “Presents for you guys. Ya know, for being nice enough to take me in.”

Starfire jumped up and down. “Oh presents! This is most exciting!”

“Presents?” Robin quickly got up in a curious glare. “Uh you shouldn't have.”

“Sure I should, it's the least I can do.” Spider-Man replied.

“Please friend show us what gifts you have brought!” Starfire grabbed onto his shoulders in a bounce.

“Okay okay okay,” Spidey gave in as he reached into the bag and pulled out a couple of photographs. The Titans quickly gathered around in anticipation as he handed each of them a specific one. Yes people, all that taking pictures of himself was going to pay off in more than that `green' type way.

“Cooooool.” Beast Boy muttered as he stared at the photograph. It was one of him in gorilla form preparing to toss a baddie through a window. “I look totally awesome!” he cheered flexing his muscles.

“Yea man… I look like a complete stud.” Cyborg added confidently, still rubbing his eye. He admired his photograph which consisted of him blasting a baddie to hell with his sonic cannon.

Robin snickered at the still shot of him batting a crook away with a kick, with saliva spewing out and the works. “Real nice.”

Starfire seemed the most excited as always as she glared at hers with glistening eyes. “This is glorious! It is very strange looking at a picture of myself kicking the bad guy butt.”

“I'm sure it is.” Spider-Man nodded. Cyborg pointed. “So I am guessing you do this photography stuff often?”

“Just enough,” Spidey replied.

Robin chuckled. “Taking snapshots while we're in battle, that takes some skill. It's pretty fast paced isn't it?”

“Yes, but no skill needed. Just luck… and spider reflexes but who doesn't have that?”

After slight chuckles our arachnoid looked around. “Uh where's Raven?”

“I think she's in her room meditating.” Beast Boy muttered as the rest of the Titans continued to look at their pictures with smiles. “Nice, I'll go give this to her and head to bed, I'm beat tired.” Spider-Man moped.

“Crime fighting wearing you down?” Cyborg asked. Spidey shook his head while walking off. “Oh heck no, it was waiting in the lines at the store… ludicrous I tell ya!”

The Titans shook their heads in bemused smiles as Spidey prepared himself to greet the dark sorceress herself.

The photo in Spider-Man's grasp brought such a mix of emotions. On one hand he felt a bit homesick as it has been a week since he arrived in this more or less unusual dimension. Yet on the other hand he was very excited about this new temporary (or hopefully temporary) beginning. Mixed blessings and Spider-Man always seemed to find each other and right now thankfully the excitement was a bit more prominent within his inner-feelings.

The excitement at the moment was jump started obviously by the anticipation to see what Raven's reaction would be of course - even if negative. Her negative reactions, although Spidey was shameful to admit it, were a riot to see. Besides he knew it was just a front, the whole Titan team knew it. Pushing this girl's buttons was just too fun. As long as you didn't go too far that is.

Spider-Man glared at the picture of Raven he had snapped and nodded. It was pretty awesome. It was of her in total bad guy beating mode, with eyes shining bright white and cape fluttering from the intense power radiating from her. Spidey was hoping maybe this gift would break the ice a bit because as much as the other four had taken him in with open arms this sorceress clearly wasn't. They never did `the hanging out' as Starfire would put it, in fact they rarely exchanged words. The last thing Spidey wanted was to feel like he was a burden to anyone. He was going to fix this.

With a loud breath, the moment of truth had arrived. Spider-Man was ready to give the room a knock but noticed that the door was wide open. He slowly peered into the dark room and cleared his throat.

“Uh Raven?” Spidey whimpered. “Hello?”

There was no answer.

Common sense told Spider-Man to hightail it out of here but his curiosity was just killing him to explore. Spidey has had the pleasure to see most of the Titans' rooms from Cyborg's `Oh my god is this for real?' room to Beast Boy's `Oh my God get a damn maid' room. But to no surprise Raven's room hasn't had the privilege of having Spider-Man in its confines.

The words `No one goes in my room' echoed into Spider-Man's thoughts repeatedly but this curious kid couldn't help it. He slowly crept into the forbidden quarters. Okay just going to put the picture in the room and get out. He thought. No harm no foul.

He tip-toed his way in and quickly took notice of the countless stacks of thick books that were neatly placed around the area. The gothic styled furniture in the form of gargoyles and candles came next and then the overall darkness took over. Spider-Man sighed at the room straight out of a horror novel. “Sheesh, I've heard of dark but this is ridiculous.”

Spidey's unease built as he knew the longer he stayed the chance of trouble arose, so he quickly looked around for a place to place his gift. His eyes found the bed and he made a quick dash to place the photograph upon the sheets. He turned to leave but noticed something that intrigued him.

It was his reflection bouncing off a mirror - one pretty cool looking mirror at that.

It lay on the bed and he grinned as his crimson mask glared back at him. Spidey snickered as he touched his face. “Lookin' good Spidey” he joked as he struck a heroic pose. He picked up the mirror and began admiring the details of his mask.

“Man those S.T.A.R. people really got every detail.”

Indeed, the people at S.T.A.R. Labs have made replacement replica suits for Spider-Man that rendered his old ones obsolete. This new brand of Spider tights had all the freedom of movement of his last ones and then some. There were two major differences. First the material was produced in a similar way to Robin's cape, which as we all know is nearly indestructible. Second his spider insignia, which now looked a lot more edgy, had a built in alarm which would shine brightly whenever there was trouble just like every Titan had.

Of course this kid was loving it all. One of the many perks he had living in this dimension. Spider-Man continued to admire the details but suddenly his spider-sense went off. He quickly back flipped and turned in a defensive maneuver.

He found nothing.

“What the-”

He then heard playful giggles… ditzy giggles even. But the fact that these laughs sounded like they came from nowhere wasn't what was troubling him most. It was the fact that the laughs sounded like they were coming from…

“Raven?”

Suddenly the mirror Spider-Man was holding began to glow bright pink. He quickly attempted to toss it away but it was too late. Soon he found himself wrapped from his neck to his legs in pink cutesy ribbons that were manifesting from the mirror itself. Spidey gulped as the giggles became louder.

“This is so not good.”

And with that he was magically pulled into the magical mirror, unprepared for the craziness that was waiting for him.

The ditzy giggling of Raven slowly faded away with the pink glow.

Responses:

KhaosJester: LMAO, Brand-name praise… oh jeez. Tough actin' tanactin… That John Madden is a riot. And Trojan Man. X D. You are one funny guy. Oh cripes. And don't get me wrong KhaosJester is awesomeness. I just liked Chaos Damn It. Something about spaced out Pen Names I guess.