Fan Fiction ❯ The Fs, Ls, and BBs of Malaria ❯ Uh... not much in this one. ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

HELLO!!! We only had one review but that was (fortunately) a request for more. I only did the introduction because I wanted
to see if anyone would be interested in it before I wrote a whole crap load of stuffs.
Disclaimer: See disclaimer in Introduction because I don't feel like writing it again...
I feel like doing this in a different format! Block format!

Wind: How are we going to get inside?
Hem: Um... *looks at Gloin.* I have an idea!
Legolas: What?
Hem: *Starts whispering evilly to them. Then they all grab Gloin.*
Gloin: H-hey! What are you doing with me?
Thranduil: Oh, nothing...
All except Gloin: *Take Gloin my the limbs and start ramming him into the Gates of Malaria like a fat ramrod.*
Gloin: Ow! Stop it! Quit! That hurts! Don't! Quit it!
Hem: He said don't quit, but the gate's open. What do we do with it?
Wind: Uh... give it to the fags?
Hem: MUA HA HA!!!
All: *Throw Gloin into the arms of the fags, who run off laughing evilly/girly-like.*

With captives...
Haldir: Where are they taking us? They look like fags! I don't wanna be a homo!
Frodo: *Bawling.*
Aragorn: Pull yourself together men! This is no time for whining! We must act quickly and vanquish these foes!
Haldir: OH, SHUT UP, YOU PATHETIC DRAMA-QUEEN!!!
Gimli: I like them. They make me feel pretty!
Frodo: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Aragorn: *Smacks Frodo.* Shut up!
Frodo: But they- they- they're gonna do dirty things to us!
Fag 1: Shut up! No talking. Or I'll have to do my deeds to you sooner than planned...

With rescuers...
Hem: I sense fag doing faggy things to cuties!
Wind: Me too! We're too late! POOR INNOCENT LITTLE FRODO LOST HIS VIRGINITY TO A FAG!!!
Edgar: Well, there's one comforting thought. He's a man now.
Wind: NO!! *Smacks Allen.*
Allen: What was that for?
Wind: You made him say it!
Allen: I did not! Well... <maybe just a little...>
Hem: Don't hurt Allen! It's not his fault Edgar doesn't care about poor little Frodo!
Wind: Shut up and figure out how to get into their control thingy!
Thranduil: Why?
Legolas: So, my poor stupid daddy, we can get into their without them having all of their electricity to
use against us!
Thranduil: DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!!!
Legolas: Sorrwy, Daddy...
Thranduil: You are not forgiven!
Hem: WENIS!
Gloin: I can't feel my legs...
Merry: How did you get back here?
Pippin: The fags ran off with you. Did they get bored of you that fast?
Gloin: I don't have the equiptment they're looking for in a man...
Wind: *Not wanting to be around Gloin any longer...* We should split up. We'll find where they're
taking them faster if we're separated.
Hem: Okay... You can take Edgar, Sam, Merry, Celeborn, Elrond, and yourself. I'll take the rest. I get Pippin...
Wind: Shut up...

Okay, that was short, and I'm going to keep torturing people with short chapters. Part of the
reason is because this isn't my computer and I have to leave. I'm gonna put this on the internet and
then delete it, because Wind can't have it. Now I'm leaving. Don't worry, I'll put more on when I get to my house!