Fan Fiction ❯ The Goddess Sagas ❯ I?m Alone ( Chapter 50 )

Chapter Forty-nine: I'm Alone

They were all awoken by Bra's laughter, worried at first that the stress had finally caused her to go crazy they walked into her lab and saw her dancing around happily, causing some of them to exchange nervous expressions.

"Um, Bra?" Lena asked concerned, approaching the girl whom suddenly gave her an happy hug.

"Lena! I found it! I found a cure!"

"What!? Really!?"

Everyone in the group listened overjoyed as Bra began to hurriedly explain everything.

"I still have to test the cure out, but this is the closest we ever got. I want to test it on my sister, Holly as soon as possible. In other words, right now. If she wakes up then...not only will I know the cure works but I'll have my youngest sister back too."

"It's worth a shot!" Lima smiled.

"I hope it works." Carrie said full heartedly.

"Me too." Bra said honestly. "I'm going to inject her with the cure right now....we will all know soon."

"Do you want one of us in the room with you in case of something or--" Lena began.

Bra nodded quickly. "Yeah, Lena and um....Mimi, come in with me please."

"Huh? What, why me?" Mimi asked puzzled.

"Because." Bra began. "If this cure works and she snaps out of it then she'll wake up in a fit of shock and panic. Lena can hold her down, and I know fairies all have a sleep spell, so I want you to use it on her to make her drowsy so she doesn't hurt herself in her panicked state."

"Oh...um, all right."

The rest of the group watched as the three women left the room, and entered the small one in which the body of the young girl laid, doll like on a cold metal table. Ruto suddenly frowned and began looking around herself. Lemon blinked noticing her urgent expression.

"What is it Maya?"

"Aria....I looked for her earlier this day....but I couldn't find her, I thought for sure she would of been asleep by now, but she's not hear with us."

The group glanced around for the strange horned white haired and pink eyed child. It was true she was no where to be seen.

"Um..." Parfait began quietly, causing the other's to turn and look in her direction. "I saw Aria earlier today, she said she was....she said she going out to meet a friend of hers."

"What!?" Lima shrieked. "She's out there all alone!?"

"We've got to find her." Carrie said matter of fact.

"All right, don't panic. Parfait and..." Squall turned and looked at Colt who sat in a wheel chair. " And Colt will check around the shelter, Lemon, Lima, Carrie, Rose, Ruto and I will go and check outside."

"Ok!" The group spilt apart, dashing off in different directions.

*****************************************

Lena gently put her hands on both of Holly's slender shoulders, Incase the event came of having to hold her in place. Mimi stared at the girl, face becoming sad as she remembered how upset Genki was after looking at her. It was true...her face, her eyes...everything about her seemed empty and dead...like a glass doll which had been long discarded of in an attic and no longer contained the warm feeling of a child's beloved toy. She glanced at Bra to see that the girl's hand was trembling slight as she held the needle filled with the hopeful cure. She couldn't blame Bra for being nervous...if this needle worked not only Holly but everyone else in Angeles would be cured. They couldn't say that their lives would be saved...not with Oisa up there in the sky, and Saiyoua controlling everything....but at least they would be able to live their last few days.

Bra crossed herself and then stuck the needle into her sister's arm. The cure slowly entered the girl's veins. For a few moments nothing happened, and Bra lowered her head in shame, then suddenly an scream startled them all. The young girl had risen herself up on the bed and was kicking and screaming. Lena held her down, causing her to begin to try and struggle to get loose. Mimi was shaken but got to work quickly summoning an sleep spell. Holly calmed down a great deal and she began to relax. After a minuet or so, she looked up at Bra, confused.

"Where am I?"

Out of everyone in the room, Bra smiled the widest, so wide that you could swear her face was made of plastic, and she threw her arms around her youngest sister crying happily.

Mimi watched the face of the younger Brief. Her dark green eyes, which only a few seconds ago looked dead, were shining with life again and now flickering with baffled expression. Her eyes, even if they were green, and her dark hair and the way she wore it long reminded her alot of Genki....a female version of him anyway. It was kind of painful to look at her....it seemed everything reminded her of him lately.

"Uh...Bra what is going on?" Holly demanded with a frown, as her sister pulled away.

"Do you remember anything?" Bra asked concerned.

"If I did, I wouldn't be asking."

"What is the last thing you remember happening?"

"I....." Holly closed her eyes trying to think, everything was blurry then...

She gasped her eyes snapping open wide, her hands and bottom lip trembling. "Oh my god....I remember....the Kamertion....and....oh my god...Tenki....he....!"

"He betrayed us...he is on Saiyoua's side." Bra finished, voice filled with shame.

"No!"

"I'm sorry Holly, but it's true, he---"

"You wrong Bra! He is not working for Saiyoua!" Holly cut her off.

"No! Listen to me!" Bra exclaimed almost desperate.

"No! Let me finish, Bra! Tenki is not working for Saiyoua, he has his own little plan thought up. I don't know what it is, but he only worked for Saiyoua to study her power and steal Kamertion and her cells! I don't know what he has planned with it, but I know he probably fled with his wife by now."

"What?" Bra blinked. "Damn that Tengi. What does he have planned? Can't he see we are in enough trouble?"

"How is everyone else....are they...all ok?" Holly asked worriedly.

Mimi bit her lip but couldn't keep her tears back and fled the room with a sob.

"Mimi...!" Lena called concerned and followed her out.

"..........Something terrible happened, didn't it?" Holly asked worriedly.

Bra felt her own tears sting her eyes but she knew she had to be strong, so with all her will power held them back. "The only ones left alive in out family, and that no longer includes Tenki, or Keith are Maria, you and I, Aria is also safe. Everyone else is dead."

Without another word Holly buried her face in her hands and began to cry.

***********************************

Mimi slammed her hands down on a table, tears falling from her eyes hitting the hard surface. She had tried to get over it. She tried not to cry every time she thought of him, she tried to be strong...but....she just couldn't hold back her tears and her grief.

FLASH

"Genki...." She took the boys hands in her own. He turned bright red, a blush covering his cheeks.

"...Y...Yeah...?" He stammered out.

"Thank you."

"For being the best friend I ever had." Mimi gave him a hug which he returned.

"I will always be hear for you Mimi."

FLASH

She shrieked, shielding her face with her arms.

"MIMI!!!" Genki screamed, dashing infront of her.

"NOOO!!! GENKI!!!" She cried out in plea.

The boy's eyes went huge, as the spear entered threw his chest, piercing his heart, and came out threw his back.

"NOOOO!!! GENKI!!!!!" Mimi sobbed as the boy fell on his knees, then to his back.

FLASH

She began to sob more loudly and more bitterly. She felt angry and sad inside. Her palms pressed harder onto the table, causing it to slid across the floor a little and she fell to her knees, crying.

Parfait and Colt peaked sadly into the room, watching as Lena knelt down beside her and tried her best to comfort her.

"I guess something reminded her of Genki again..." Parfait whispered quietly.

"Yeah....it's sad to see her so heart broken. I can just imagine how she must feel. If Carrie had died......"

".......Poor Mimi......if only Genki could come back and cheer her up."

"Yeah, he was always good at doing that for her."

***********************************

Ruto slowly walked up a hill side, which over looked a vast ocean. The others were out searching the rest of Angeles worriedly for Aria. Though worried, something drove her to go look at the sea, and that was where she found her. Aria was setting on the cleft, laughing and talking with....

Ruto gasped, putting a hand to her mouth. Genki, Alex and Mara. Their bodies were transparent, but they were there. She was seeing ghost's again.

"Oh, look, Ruto." Mara stuck her thounge out, causing the others to turn towards her.

"Princess." Alex nodded politely.

"Hey Ruto!" Genki greeted. "What's up?"

"How can I be seeing you all like this?" Ruto demanded to know. "I keep on seeing ghosts. Why?"

"The life stream is not at balance." Genki frowned. "Not with Oisa up in the sky. Souls are leaking out and are wondering the planets. Ruto, you have to try and save Ryan very soon."

"I want to! That is one of the reason's why I started looking for Aria. Genki you told me she could bring me into Ryan's mind."

"Aria wants to but....I'm not sure I can." The little girl frowned. "To pass through the darkness inside his mind could and probably will trap you."

"I don't care! I want to save him!" Ruto exclaimed.

The three ghost's exchanged looks.

"Ruto. I'm not going to do this for you, but for Rya. I think if all three of us enter into his mind and try to talk to him, maybe we can clear the darkness up enough for you to enter."

"We are already part of the life stream so we wont get trapped in it's darker currents."

"Yeah." Genki nodded. "I can make sure the three of us stay safe, but...my power is to weak to protect you. "

"......Do you think you can get the darkness to fade?" Ruto asked hopefully.

"Maybe. We'll go try right away. I suppose more longer we wait, more the darkness will grow. Ok, come on Mara, Alex, let's go. Aria, pumpkin." Genki smiled, keeling down infront of the girl, whom threw her arms around him in a hug. Ruto gasped surprised. How could this girl hug a ghost...as though he was still flesh and bone? Ruto tried to give Alex and hug when she first saw his ghost and she passed right through him.

"Yes, daddy?" She asked sweetly.

"Aria, I will contact you about our progress, when and if I tell you too, send Ruto's soul into Ryan's mind for a short while. She may be able save him."

"Ok."

The ghosts disappeared, leaving Ruto and Aria alone on the cleft. With an sigh Ruto gazed out at the water. "I hope....I hope they can help you Ryan...I don't care if I loose my own soul going into save you. I would give up my life to save yours."

"......." Aria gazed up at her silently. Ruto saw her and laughed quietly.

"Love really makes us sound strange and do silly things. But as girlie and love sick as I sound....what I say is how I feel. I just love him that much."

**********************************

Ryan opened his eyes. He was still in the dark ocean. What was he expecting? He must have fallen asleep, for he felt as though he was just waking up. Or maybe he hadn't been sleeping. Maybe his brain just shut down and stopped realizing things, and since the only thing he could see was darkness, there was not much difference between closing his eyes and looking ahead of himself. Nothing...but...darkness. He was all alone. No one else was hear. Just darkness as far as his mind could see.

"Where is everyone? Where could all of them be?"

"Do you really think they would want to be around you?" An image appeared before his eyes. An image of himself except with red hair, green eyes and brown skin.

"Oh....hi, Ryan." Ryan greeted weakly.

"As if any one of your friends would want to be around you, after what you did to them!"

"..........." A pained look crossed Ryan's face. "Could I at least speak to them a little...see if they are all ok? Please, even if it is not really them, I want to see an image of them. Like how Keith created a Mara with the same brain, thoughts and feelings as the real one. Can't I have this one thing, please....I want to talk to them."

"No you don't. You want to punish yourself. You want each and everyone of your friends to cast their judgment on you. You want to see if they would forgive you, and if not, then you want them to have their revenge on you and kill you so you could stop feeling guilty. Is this your foolish way to make up for your sins?" The real Ryan said coldly.

"I can never make up for what I have done....." Ryan mumbled softly.

"Glad you've realized that. You doomed everyone. You destroyed Gaia."

Ryan closed his eyes against his tears, while the other him continued with is hurtful words.

"You think they would even come to cast their judgment? Do you think they would be able to bare looking at the one whom killed them and everything they loved for even a second?"

In Ryan's mind he could see the images of Squall, Carrie, Lemon, Lima, Colt, Rose, Mimi, Parfait, and even Ruto disappear. Their faces cold and hateful was the only thing he could really see clearly in his mind's eye, but he did not want to see that. Did not want to be looked at with such hate and anger. But it was what he deserved.

`How could I expect much else...? How could I? I doomed everyone....I killed them all and I killed our planet. I betrayed them....I....betrayed each and everyone on Gaia and Earth. I doomed them all to death.....No one will ever forgive....how could I ask them to? Would I forgive someone whom foolishly condemned, Me, everyone I loved and my planet it's self to certain destruction? I'm alone....I'll stay that way....no one....will ever forgive me.....no ever will....'

"Rya! That's not true!"

The two Ryan's gasped and turned towards the darkness where the form of the cat girl appeared, green eyes wavering, an sliver light surrounding her form, keeping the darkness that surrounded him away from her person.

"Mara how can you be hear?" The red headed Ryan asked confused.

"..." Mara gazed at him. "It's been a long time, Ryan, but...but your not the one I'm hear to see. Why are you doing this? Why are you haunting Rya like this?" She turned towards the blond demon-half.

"I have every right! He stole my body, he stole my life, he stole my Magention, but he is not me at all, he is simple doll."

"Not true!" Mara yelled back at the original Ryan and turned back to the clone. "Rya, please, don't let this darkness engulf you. Please snap out of it. We all don't hate you. I don't....I never will."

"How can you say that?" Ryan asked slowly. "I killed you. I caused you to take your own life, how can you not hate me?"

"That was not your fault...."

"It was. I ended up costing the life of both you and Ruto. Everyone I love I curse. I don't want to do that again."

"Rya....."

"...........Go away.....I don't want you around for me to hurt. I hurt enough people....I......I let you die twice, I don't want you around so I have to witness you die again."

Mara sobbed quietly, disappearing.

`I'm sorry....I wanted you.....but....I did not want you to suffer anymore.....besides, I didn't even know which Mara you were......the one whom killed herself and left me.....or the clone whom came back, and was killed.........no.....a clone does not have a soul.....a mere machine made copy can't have a soul. I don't have a soul....'

"I was wrong before."

Ryan turned to his left, seeing Alex standing there, body also surrounded by an sliver light.

"Not having a past does not make things easier, but harder. At least when you have a past you have an identiy to look back on, but when you have none, I suppose you get lost inside."

"Alex...your hear to?"

"Ryan, don't be a coward. Accept what you did and snap out of it. If the others don't forgive you, whatever. But you handed Saiyoua the goddess stone, you could at least go try and make up for what you did instead of staying hear and feeling sorry for yourself."

".........What can I do? I'm her puppet, I'm a doll....I'm not even real."

"...................."

"Besides, why should you even bother to try and help me? You gave your life to destory the source of what made Saiyoua powerful, and because of me, your death was for nothing."

"............." Alex shook his head. "I can see that I can't help you. You are seeking hate, you want to be hated for what you did."

"Why would I want that?"

"It would be the perfect way not to feel guilty for what you did. If everyone hated you, why would you care if everyone died? When someone hates you, you hate them in return. If all you felt for the world was hate then why should it matter to you if everything was destroyed. You would not grieve for an enemy, what happens when the hold universe is your enemy, Ryan?"

"........................."

"Your running away. I never saw you as coward before." Alex disappeared, leaving the two Ryan's alone.

"Well, if that little interruption from the life stream is over...." The original Ryan began.

"Not yet!" A voice called out, and in a burst of silver light, Genki appeared. His hair down long, one sliver wing instead of gray extending from his back. An sliver circlet with spaces opened in the middle was attached to his forehead. In the space opened in the middle, a shiny sliver stone was embedded into the skin. He wore no shirt, but long white gloves, that had spaces opened on the top of the hand, revealing powerful silver crystals, like the one on the forehead, they were embedded into the skin. Three small crystals for each hand. He wore a pair of white silk pants, but bare feet. And around his slender waste was a large sliver belt, engraved with a picture of the goddess stone. He was still young but...he looked a little older, and a little wiser. The original Ryan took a step backwards, frightened, as Genki turned to Ryan and spoke seriously.

"I can't do anything to help you Ryan. This is a hellish place you are making up in your own mind. You keep the darkness around you like a security blanket, as long as you do that we can't do anything to help."

"Genki....why do you look like this?"

"That will all be explained in due time, but only if you get off you lazy butt and do something about Saiyoua!"

"..............I told you........I can't....."

Genki closed his eyes and shook his head. "Even I can't pull you out of the dark ocean, the darker side of the life stream."

"What is the life stream, and the dark ocean, anyway?"

"The life stream if where all things that die go to rest and where their soul energy, Magention, waters the planet, allowing it to continue to live and grow. Messiah watched over the souls for thousands of years, but a darker part of herself escaped and created Oisa and the dark ocean. The dark ocean is a place of suffering, a place created out of the mind where people go to pay for their sins and wallow in guilt and self pity."

".............."

"Ryan come on, please, just take my hand, and I can try and get you out of this darkness." Genki reached out his hand, Ryan looked at him for a moment longingly. He wanted to escape this place but...

"I can't......."

"....Why not?"

"If it's true that the dark ocean is where you go to pay for your sins then I should stay hear, because I've sinned a great deal."

"And how do you plan on paying back for your sins? Why not you try and pay back for them by helping everyone."

"I can't battle Saiyoua. I'm her puppet! Besides....my worst fear....my worst fear always has, and always will be to be alone. So....what better way to pay for my sins then by always remaining alone."

"Ryan." Genki whispered, barely audible. "Why must you keep up this self-pity?"

"Self-pity? Is that what you call it? If it is, then call me a pity-whore, because I know what I tell myself is true. I'm a copy...a clone....a puppet, I doomed the whole world, I doomed all my friends. I doomed perhaps the heavens themselves. I feel no pity for myself....only hate...I want to punish myself...I want myself to suffer...to pay for what I did. I want myself to die..."

"I can't help you then. I can't....I just can't do anything anymore...I guess that is the cost of dying. But....but you are still alive Ryan, you can still do something. Why do you choose not to?"

"............."

Genki closed his eyes sadly, fading away, leaving the two Ryan's alone in darkness again.

****************************************

2 weeks later

"Yes, Bra, the rocket should be ready in a couple of weeks. So many people are helping us, supporting us fully with help or prayers, and faith. The whole world is helping each other build this rocket. Everyone dispite race, color, or background is all helping and counting on each other. It's such a beautiful thing, it's funny that something so great could only happen because of something so terrible." Maria spoke to Bra over the computer.

"That's wonderful! I hope that the rocket works. How things are going, I think it may be our only hope." Bra spoke seriously. "The others has been spreading the cure over Angeles. So far more then half the city is returned back to their normal state, and right now, everyone is praying. All their faith rests in the rocket Angelo is building. I can only stare up at Oisa and pray myself for it to be destroyed....I wish there was something more I can do..."

"Everyone is doing as hard as they can. Even a prayer helps..."

".....Yeah. But...if Gaia does get destroyed then at least the planet will die with everyone on it working as a team. It will die without any hate or anger breeding on it's surface. Though Oisa will destory our bodies...it wont be able to destory our souls, not when they are so pure when the end comes."

".......Perhaps. Not all evil can ever be wiped out of the world, but nohingt is ever pure evil, and only in times like this, does the good in people come out."

"........But why must it only come out when the end is soon near?"

"I don't know. Death? The fear of what will happen to our souls after we die? If we are condemned to a faith in hell or heaven. Perhaps we only do good deeds as to benefit our soul? That is why machines can turn heartless....they don't fear death, because they will continue on living forever...life just continues on and on."

"Then....good deeds wouldn't be good deeds at all, but just acts of selfishness."

"But then, why am I fighting? I'm a machine. I might be able to live on a barren planet, but...I don't see how living with out those I love can really be defined as living. I suppose my heart was not erased when I became a machine, so therefore, I value my life, and everyone else's as well. Maybe we do good things for other's because perhaps, they are all part of us. Even our enemies, they make up a part of us, everything we encounter weaves it's way into our hearts and becomes part of us, whatever it be good or bad. So to truly save ourselves, we have to save everything that is part of us as well, and Gaia and everyone living on it is part of our beings...parts of our hearts and souls."

"Maria.....People are filled with many different thoughts and emotions, it is impossible for anyone ever to be able to understand the way our souls works. Feelings and emotions are a complex things....but I do know, that every where around the world people are working and praying together, and so...right now everyone's hearts and souls are one and to save one, we must save all."

****************************************

"Aria." Ruto asked quietly, setting next to Ryan, staring down at his pale face. The young white haired girl standing next to her.

"Did you get a message from Genki yet? What is taking so long?"

"I'm sorry, Marie-Maya, but time passes by much slower in the life stream then it does in real life. "

"Hmmm.....How much more time can we waste?"

Aria shifted uneasily, but after a moment or so became comfortable again in her surroundings.

`Aria, can you hear me?'

`Daddy! Marie-Maya, or should I call her Ruto, was just wondering what was going on. Do I send her in?' Aria asked the voice in her head telepathically.

`No, Aria. I tried, we all tried. We weren't able to reach him. The darkness is too strong, it will pull Ruto in and trap her like it has him snared like a wild animal. We can't.....'

Aria sighed loudly. "I'm sorry, I can't. Genki told Aria that the darkness is to strong. There is no way I can send you there safely."

Ruto's eyes went wide in shock and she shook her head in denial. "No....No.....I'm....I want to go anyway. I have to help him!"

"You can't!"

"I CAN!!" Ruto snapped back, causing the little girl to step backwards startled.

"Your just a child, you probably can't understand, but...when someone you love is in danger, you will do anything, even if it means risking your own soul to save them. I can't just set hear and do nothing! I wont let the man I love or the father to my child die! I'm not going to do nothing anymore! He and almost everyone else hear came to Angeles to save me, and what am I suppose to do? Play helpless princess and whine and whimper for my *prince* to wake up? Am I suppose to lean on other's all the time expecting them to help me and guide me? To keep me safe, to stop all harm from coming to me? I don't care if I am in danger, I don't care if I get hurt, I don't care if I die! I want to help out like everyone else, and by doing that, I will first help the man I love! Got that!?"

".....But Genki told me the darkness will devour you! I'm sorry but I just can't!"

"I'm not asking you! I'm forcing you!" Ruto angrily gripped Aria by the two shoulders.

The little girl gasped, and began to tremble, frightened. "But...."

"What the hell is the difference if I die now or if I die by being crushed by Oisa!? At least I'll die trying to do something this way! And at least this way...we have a chance."

"But...if you get pulled into the dark ocean, it will be worst then death. You will be living in a nightmare you can never wake up from. That is a faith far worst then death because you will never be able to rest or be at peace."

".....Hmmm....The faith your describing to me righ now, is the same faith I would suffer if I just did nothing at all. Aria, send me into his mind. I know I can make it. I know I can."

".........I...." Aria looked troubled. ".......Ok. Sorry Genki, but I have to listen to Mistress. Marie-Maya Gazumaro."

"No need to be so formal, just call me Ruto...."

"Princess Marie-Maya." Aria said, stubbornly. "Remember time passes by much slower in the life stream. So make haste and squeeze every second you have."

"All right....Now take me into his mind."

Aria closed her eyes, the horn on her head shimmered. Ruto blinked, and wavered slightly off balance on her chair as she began to get dizzy. Her eye lids grew heavy and her head fell weakly.

"Ryan...I'm coming...." She mumbled tiredly, before collapsing on top of him delicately.

Aria watched silently. "May the life stream guide you and keep you safe, mistress."

****************************************

Ruto opened her eyes, at first she was confused and frightened as she saw nothing infront of her except for great expanses of darkness.

"Is this Ryan's mind? It's so cold and empty..." She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself in an effort to keep warm.

"Ryan, where are you....?" She looked around panicked for him, but all she could see was darkness. "RYAN!! ANSWER ME!!!"

Answer me...

answer me...

answer me...

**************************************

Ryan still feel deeper and deeper into the darkness, tears still spilling from his eyes, his mind empty of all thoughts, saved for one.

" I'm....."

*****************************************

Ruto felt tears coming to her eyes, and placed both hands to her heart, closeing her eyes allowing a few tears to slid threw.

"...Alone."