Fan Fiction ❯ The Tower of Randomness ❯ The randomness continues... ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

CHAPTER THREE: THE RANDOMNESS CONTINUES…

Our hero, Ky Kiske continues his journey in the tower. He approaches a door. The sign on it reads “FOURTH FLOOR”.

Ky: What kind of crap awaits me here? *sighs* Let’s go.

Ky kicks open the door.

Ky: All right, you biyatchees! Hands up right now!

To his surprise, no one is there.

Ky: … The hell? … Anyone here? Hmmm…

Ky takes out an issue of “Hot chixxx monthly” and begins to read. Just then, Kliff enters.

Ky: Damn… I didn’t know Millia posed for cheesecake like this. Suh-weeet!

Kliff: Let me see!

Ky: Sure. *holds up magazine so that both can see* Isn’t she just SO awesome?

Kliff: Hell yeah! Is that her real hair?

Ky: Damn straight. No extensions.

Kliff: *bleeding from nose* She has nice fun-bags too.

Ky: That she does. There’s something about her that’s just so damn appealing. She’s no Dizzy, though?

Kliff: Mmm… Dizzy. Hot, teenage gear girl with a tail….

Ky: Yeah… *realizes that he’s been talking to someone this whole time* AAAHHH! Master! I’m sorry! Gomen nasai!

Kliff: Why? It’s natural.

Ky: But, I’ve been reading pornography! And having impure thoughts about an underage, pure-hearted gear girl!

Kliff: And so have I. I don’t care! Grow up, ya stupid kid!

Ky: I’m not a kid! I’m an adult! I’m the long arm of the law!

Kliff: Then act like it! Next time you see Dizzy, you tell her that you wanna do her!

Ky: Yeah!

Kliff: You take off that slutty outfit of hers as forcefully as you can!

Ky: YEAH!

Kliff: and you have hot, angry, uninhibited, hentai anime sex right there on the floor!

Ky: HELL YE-AH!

Kliff: …. What? I’ve said my piece…

Ky: … But, Dizzy’s in the wired, now.

Kliff: And you didn’t go with her!? Dumbass! Once she’s in the wired, she’s a sex symbol! You could have had sex with a god of the wired! You SUCK!!! Have I taught you nothing!?

Ky: *bows* Sorry, master…

Kliff: Relax, dumbass. I’m not your master anymore.

Ky: Oh, right…

Just then, Jam Kuradoberi runs in.

Jam: Ky Kiske, I challenge you to a “Greatest under the heavens tournament” style battle!

Kliff; Damn! You are nice lookin’! Hey miss, will you show me your panties?

Ky: Master, that’s disgraceful.

Kliff: What?! I’m an old man! I deserve the right to look at panties! And again, cut out that master crap!

Ky: *anime sweat drop on forehead* Sorry…

Jam: Just what the hell makes you think that I would show a pervert like you my panties!?

Kliff: Would you do it for a dollar?

Jam: Hell no!

Kliff: Well, what about this magic ball that grant’s wishes?

Jam: Kick-ass! Okay!

Ky: NOOOOOO! Toriyama-san would sue our asses SO quick! What is with you people and copyright infringement?!

Jam: He’s got a point.

Kliff: Okay. Fine. How about the key to getting all of your endings in story mode?

Ky looks at the screen angrily.

Jam: Okay. Sure. Ky, you can look too.

Ky: All right!

Jam lifts up her skirt, revealing her panties. A violent spray of blood erupts from Kliff’s nose, propelling him out of the room.

Ky: Awesome…

Jam: I don’t do this for everyone, but you’re special, Ky Kiske.

Ky: (Wait… Isn’t that a quote from I”s? Who cares!) You’re awesome, Jam Kuradoberi…

Jam: Am I?

Ky leans forward and kisses Jam.

Jam: Yesss! Now May owes me five thousand dollars!

Ky: What the hell?!

Jam: May and I made a bet. Five thousand simoleons that I would be the first to kiss you!

Ky: You used me?! But you said I was special!

Jam: You are special! You made me tons of money! I’m so happy I could kiss you!

Ky: But we just-

Jam kisses Ky.

Jam: *singing* Money-money-money-money… MON-NAY!

Ky: Hey!

Jam: *stops singing* What is it?

Ky: Why are you in this dumb-ass tower?

Jam: That Meltarr bastard brought me here!

Ky: Say, I’m on my way to kick his ass right now? You wanna come with?

Jam: Sure! Sounds good! Let’s go!

And so Ky and Jam set out together to find Meltarr’s ass… and beat it.

TO BE CONTINUED…