Fan Fiction ❯ The Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ off to death and back again ( Chapter 28 )
~ Le Preview ~
Queenie: It sounded like the scream of a desperate soul of a recently deceased male Gerudo who has just found out that he is doomed to spend the rest of his tortured life, or better death in hell.
Link: ?_?
Ravi: . . . . . . . . .
Queenie: Or maybe it was just a car . . . . . .
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Adventure | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.02.2004 | Pages: 24 | Words: 9.9K | Visits: 248 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: No no no! Holadrio! I do not own, well it is so!
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[next day]
Narrator: And as our three heroes were walking around somewhere in Hyrule, Navi noticed the desperate look on Ganondorf's face, caused by the fact that he had to send Impa to the Sacred Waiting room the day before . . .
Ravi: Jeez, come on!! You HAD to send her to the Sacred Waiting Room [DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN]. But soon we'll be able to arrange the group therapy for Link and then you'll get her back.
Ganondorf: *sigh*
Ravi: Anything else??
Ganondorf: My horoscope.
Ravi: What's wrong with it?
Ganondorf: DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT IT SAID??
Ravi: Erm, that you're going to die?
Ganondorf: Exactly.
Ravi: But it's after midnight! The day is over!! The horoscope was WRONG!!
Ganondorf: It's not AFTER midnight. It's 11.59.50 pm.
Ravi: COME ON! What do you expect to happen in TEN SECONDS??
Ganondorf: I . . . . don't know.
Ravi: See. The whole horoscope stuff is nothing but nonse-
Ganondorf: GYAH!!
Ravi: What??
Ganondorf: Can't . . . . breathe!!!
Ravi: Yeah, very funny.
Ganondorf: [faints]
Ravi: Do you really expect me to fall for that?? It's 12.00.01 now! The day is over!
Ganondorf: . . . . . . .
Ravi: Yeah, right. STAND UP!!!
Ganondorf: . . . . . . .
Ravi: You're annoying.
Ganondorf: . . . . . . .
Ravi: We still have to find 6 people, so get moving!!
Ganondorf: . . . . . . .
Link: Is he . . . . gross national product dead??
Ravi: No, he's just stupid.
Ganondorf: . . . . . . .
Ravi: Okay, okay. I'll play the game for heaven's sake. AHEM! (monotone) Oh my God. Ganondorf. Oh Ganondorf. What happened. Oh no, oh no. I have to check his pulse. [checks his puls] Oh no. He has no pulse. (normal) Uh, wait!! [checks again] He really has no pulse!! AH!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!
Ganondorf: [is dead]
Link: *sob* Daddy!! *sob*
Ravi: O_O** He is NOT your dad!!
Link: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! [cries]
Ravi: -___-**
Narrator: Little did she know about-
Ravi: SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO THINK!!!
Narrator: -_-
Ravi: Omigod! Omigod! Omigod! Ganondorf's dead! Queenie's going to kill me!
Link: Why coffin?
Ravi: Great. A new word. Just what I needed. And what a nice one that is. -_-*
Link: It's not your coffin fault that he died!
Ravi: Uh . . . . hehe . . . . course not.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ FLASHBACK ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
[Hyrule Field, a few hours earlier]
Ravi: Stop talking about that goddamn horoscope!!!
Ganondorf: But if I go to a hospital now I might be able to escape my certain demise!
Ravi: Bullshit.
Ganondorf: They could reanimate me!!
Ravi: OH CUT IT, DUMBASS!!!
Ganondorf: Please, let me see a doctor!!
Ravi: NO!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ END FLASHBACK ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ravi: Right. Er . . . . it was fate. And . . . not my fault.
PhoneBox: RING RING!!!
Ravi: What was that?
PhoneBox: RING RING RIIIIIIIING!!!
Ravi: A phone box!
PhoneBox: RING RING RING RING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!
Ravi: I wonder if I'm supposed to . . . .
PhoneBox: PICK UP THE PHONE ALREADY!!! I mean - RING RING!!!
Ravi: O_O* [picks up the phone] Hello?
Queenie: Hi there!
Ravi: GYAH!!!!
Queenie: Uhm, Ravi?
Ravi: Queenie . . . hehe . . . what a surprise!
Queenie: Can I talk to Ganny for a second?
Ravi: Eeeeeerm . . . . he's . . . . busy.
Queenie: Busy like busy betraying me with another girl or busy like busy being dead??????
Ravi: Erm . . . busy like busy in an absolutely just busy and harmless way.
Queenie: Oh good! Well, anyway. I guess I'll talk to him later. So see you!
Ravi: Later . . . . see me . . . ??
Queenie: Uh, yeah. My phone bill is high enough so I'll just show up personally. Is there a problem?
Ravi: Problem? Er, problem? Noooooooooooo, no problem.
Queenie: Good. I just wanted to make sure. I mean . . . sometimes strange things happen. Like . . . Ganondorf could have died because his horoscope said so but you didn't believe him and wouldn't let him go to a hospital which caused his death just 5 seconds before midnight . . . . or something like that.
Ravi: Ha! Don't be stupid!
Queenie: Haha, right. See you in ten minutes! [hangs up]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ravi: I'M SO DEAD RIGHT NOW!!!
Link: No, he is! [points at Ganondorf's dead body]
Ravi: Thank you so much for reminding me.
Link: You're coffin welcome! ^_^
EvilGuy: [appears] I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU!!!
Ravi: AH! Queenie!! Please don't kill me!!
EvilGuy: I'm not Queenie!! I'm not evil!! I'm not a guy!! For I am EVIL GUY!!
Ravi: Oh. It's just you.
EvilGuy: JUST??? BE HONORED TO SEE ME!!
Ravi: Yeah, whatever.
EvilGuy: -_-*
Ravi: Now go and play with somebody else. I've got business to do.
EvilGuy: Business, eh? Nudge, nudge, say no more!
Ravi: PLEASE NOT AGAIN!!
EvilGuy: Okay, okay. I came to offer you a deal.
Ravi: A deal?
EvilGuy: A deal.
Link: A coffin deal?
EvilGuy: No, actually not. But if you need a coffin . . . .
Ravi: He didn't mean it! He's just deranged.
EvilGuy: I see. Anyway, I know everything about your little Ganondorf problem.
Ravi: LITTLE??
EvilGuy: Big, huge, whatever. So will you listen to me or not?
Ravi: Sure, just go ahead. I'm running out of time!
EvilGuy: First . . . . you need to get rid of that! [points at Ganondorf's dead body]
Ravi: I know, I know.
EvilGuy: Well, watch me! [claps his hands and Ganondorf's dead body disappears]
Ravi: Wow. Impressive.
EvilGuy: Sure is, mindless fairy.
Ravi: -_-*
EvilGuy: And now you need a substitute for him! So I'll just . . . . .
Ravi: Wait!
EvilGuy: What?
Ravi: What do you actually want in return?
EvilGuy: In return? Nothing.
Ravi: NOTHING???
EvilGuy: A little favor for my little friend, no big deal.
Ravi: Erm . . . . . thanks?
EvilGuy: No problem. MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ravi: *shudder*
EvilGuy: Where was I? Oh yeah, the substitute. He is . . . .
Queenie: [appears] Hello, hello!
Ravi: YAAAAAAARGS!!!!
Queenie: Yeah, nice to see you again.
Ravi: Uh . . . . . er . . . . uh . . . . . .
EvilGuy: I'm off! GALABAZOOOOOOO! [disappears]
Ravi: But what about the subs . . . . er . . . . *cough* *cough*
Queenie: The what?
Ravi: The . . . . uh . . . the subs . . . . erm . . . . the substance!!
Queenie: Substance?
Ravi: Ahem . . . . the . . . uh . . . . substance made out of green flowers which I just wanted to buy because it's good for my health and . . . . erm . . . .
Queenie: Yeah, whatever. Where's my little Ganny-boy?
Ravi: He . . . . he . . . . he . . . . he . . . he . . . .
Queenie: He-he-he-he what??
Ravi: He . . . . he . . . . . he . . . . . he . . . .
Queenie: [rolls eyes] Helloho! Queenie to Ravi! Queenie to Ravi! Can you hear me?
Ravi: He . . . . . he . . . . he . . . .
Queenie: GANNY!!!!
Ravi: . . . . . is dead.
Queenie: Ganondorf! There you are!
Ravi: I'm so sorry tha . . . . WHAT?? [turns around and sees . . . . . BRIGHT GANON!]
BrightGanon: Good day my people!
Ravi: WTF???
Queenie: Ganondorf . . . . erm . . . . . you're looking so . . . . bright today.
BrightGanon: Why thanks my beloved author friend.
Queenie: Beloved author friend? -_^
Ravi: He . . . uhm . . . . he's drugged.
Queenie: Oh.
BrightGanon: Why no, my friendly fairy female. Drugs are bad! Drugs are evil! We should not do evil deeds!
Queenie: Very drugged, indeed.
BrightGanon: Does the sun not shine beautiful today?
Ravi: Uh, Ganondorf - it's midnight.
BrightGanon: Your intelligence never ceases to amaze me!
Ravi: -_-**
Queenie: Now what are you waiting for?? YOU NEED MORE LUNATICS!!
Ravi: That means you, Ganondorf!! Move it!!
BrightGanon: You heard them. Come on Link, my happily deranged companion! Let's head for another danger!! Yahoo!!
Link,Queenie+Ravi: o_O;
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[kingdom come, in the meantime]
Ganondorf: [wakes up] Ugh . . . . where am I?
[MUSIC! GASP!]
Din,Nayru,Farore+SuddenlyAppearingChoir: [appear and start to sing]
Din: Helloooooooooooo!
Nayru: Hellooooooooooooooooooo!
Farore: Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Din: (slow, opera-like) I know you won't be pleased,
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Death, Death, Heaven and Hell!
Nayru: (slow, opera-like) But well, you are deceased!
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Dun da deedle dun!
Farore: (slow, opera-like) From life you've been dismissed.
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Gone! Oh! Forever Gone!
Din: (slow, opera-like) I bet you're really pissed!
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Dun da deedle dun!
Ganondorf: Wait, wait! Are you saying that I'm-
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Dead! Dead! Dead like a stone!
PhoneBox: RING! RING!
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Nay-ru! Pic up the phone!
Ganondorf: But I can't be-
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Down! Deep! Down in a grave!
[we see a close up on Din's facial hair for no apparent reason]
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Din! God! Please get a shave!
Ganondorf: I . . . I was . . . .
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Young! Too! Too young to die!
[Farore steals the tie of a SAC member]
SAC: (very fast, angelic) Hey! You! Gimme that tie!
Ganondorf: STOP SINGING!! THIS IS A DIFFICULT MOMENT FOR ME!!!
Din: (fast, opera like) I know it's hard to fade away but everyone does it someday!
Nayru: (fast, opera like) I know you want this song to stop, well because you just had to drop!
Farore: (fast, opera like) I know your lively time is spent, that's when it all comes to an end!
SAC: (slow, angelic) We know your pain, we hear your cryyyyy!! But now it's time to say good byeeeee!
Din+Nayru: Saaaaaaayyyyyyyyy
Farore+SAC: Gooooooooooooood
All: BBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
[the music stops and the suddenly appearing choir disappears]
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[Hyrule Field]
Queenie: *yawn*
Link: *yawn*
Ravi: *yawn*
Bright Ganon: Hello little butterfly! Hello little cloud! Hello little blade of grass! Hello little other blade of grass! Hello little flower! Hello little blade of grass again!
Ravi: STOP GREETING THE FUCKING MEADOW AND GET MOVING!!!
Bright Ganon: Hello little beetle! Hello little viper!
Queenie: O.o
Ravi: ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT????
Bright Ganon: You didn't say please!
Ravi: [falls to the ground twitching]
Queenie: I really should talk to his drug pusher . . . .
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[back to our favorite deceased Gerudo guy]
Ganondorf: I . . . . can't believe it. I mean . . . . . being not alive . . . . somehow . . . . . that's familiar to me. Because . . . . I . . . . have been banned several times before. But . . . . dead. I mean . . . . really dead. And . . . . . I'll never come back, that's . . . . . . . I mean . . . . . how?? Why???
Din: Uhm . . . .
Farore: Erm . . . .
Nayru: Astrology. Very complicated, I don't have a clue about it either. But anyway, let's talk about your future!
Ganondorf: My . . . . future? I thought I was dead!!
Din: Sure, but we still need to decide if we send you to heaven or hell.
Ganondorf: Oh.
Farore: Don't worry! The way we choose is absolutely safe and fair! So . . . . .
Din: Heads or Tails?
Ganondorf: WHAT????
Nayru: Heads or Tails? You know . . . . one coin, two sides . . . .
Ganondorf: O_O
Din: Apparently he can't decide. I'll do it for him!! Tails!!
Farore: [throws a coin] Heads!!
Din: D'OH!!
Ganondorf: O_O
Nayru: Seems like you're going to hell.
Suddenly Appearing Choir: [sings] Hell! Hell! Hell! Farewell! [disappears]
Ganondorf: O__O
Din: Well . . . . bye then!! [she claps her hands and a trapdoor opens where Ganondorf is standing]
Ganondorf: [looks down] *blink* GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[after a long fall he lands somewhere on the ground]
Ganondorf: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Creepy Voice: Welcome back!
Eerie Voice: Behind the doomed door of dementia!
Scary Voice: In your new home, better known as hell, also called . . . . ROOM 6!!!
Ganondorf: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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[Hyrule Field, in the meantime]
Ganondorf's Voice: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Queenie: Did you hear that?
Link: Hear coffin what?
Queenie: It sounded like the scream of a desperate soul of a recently deceased male Gerudo who has just found out that he is doomed to spend the rest of his tortured life, or better death in hell.
Link: ?_?
Ravi: . . . . . . . . .
Queenie: Or maybe it was just a car . . . . . .
Ravi: A . . . . . car?
BrightGanon: What's a . . . . . . car?
Queenie: Ooooh, sorry. I forgot. There are no cars in Hyrule. But . . . . wait!!! If it wasn't a car, then it certainly was the scream of a desperate soul of a recently deceased male Gerudo who has just found out that he is doomed to spend the rest of his tortured life, or better death in hell!!!!!!
Ravi: Uhm . . . . .
Queenie: GOD!! THIS CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING!!!
Ravi: *gulp*
Queenie: Johnny, the next male Gerudo died!!
Ravi: Whew . . . .
Queenie: Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! We must save him!!
Ravi: WHAT???
Queenie: He might not be Ganondorf, but he is a male Gerudo after all and so it is my duty to save him from the fires of hell!!!
Ravi: Ugh . . . . . why?
Queenie: Because it might reveal a major plot point!!
Ravi: (mutters) `Fraid so . . . .
Queenie: Huh?
Ravi: Er, I just said; Fred, go!
Queenie: o_ô
Ravi: I . . . . . erm . . . . . I . . . . . . decided to call Link Fred, because it suits him better!
Link: COFFIN WHAT???
Ravi: You heard me, Fred!!! Now let's go to hell and safe Gano . . . . erm, Johnny!!
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[same time, Room 6]
Ganondorf: [is once more surrounded by the strange, big-eyed creatures which we're going to call Grocculies from now on!] Please . . . . . let . . . . . me . . . . . . go . . . .
Grocculy1: Flip!
Grocculy2: Flap!
Grocculy3: Gooze!
Ganondorf: *twitch*
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[Hyrule Field again]
Ravi: COME DOWN!!!
BrightGanon: [sitting on a tree] No!
Ravi: GET MOVING!!!
BrightGanon: No!
Queenie: Ganny . . . .
BrightGanon: I don't want to go to hell! It's scary!
Queenie: Don't worry . . . . you'll never be doomed to stay there!!
Ravi: Uh . . . . of course not . . . . . ahem . . . .
Queenie: O_o
Ravi: Now come down so we can save you! I mean . . . . Johnny!!!!
Queenie: Know what?
Ravi: What?
Queenie: I think we should forget about the whole thing.
Ravi: WHAT???
Queenie: I mean, it's not like my beloved Ganondorf has to suffer there. I really don't feel like rescuing anybody today and besides, it's just the Johnny-plothole-dude.
Johnny: [appears] I'M NOT A PLOTHOLE!!!! [sobs]
Queenie: Johnny??? You're alive??? But . . . . . who did I hear then?
Ravi: *whistle*
BrightGanon: What a beautiful tune! Your whistling is truly one of the most beautiful ones I have ever heard!
Queenie: Slowly this is getting very, very, very suspicious . . . . . .
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[back to Room 6]
Ganondorf: (says) Must . . . . . resist . . . . the urge . . . . . to go . . . . . INSANE! (things) But actually . . . . Queenie's happy with being insane and I'm stuck to this place for eternity so why not life a happy life . . . . ahem . . . . I mean . . . . . anyway, and give in to complete randomness?
Lunatic Pandora: [appears] BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT BLESSED WITH THE GIFTS OF LUNATIC PANDORA'S BOX!!!
Ganondorf: o.O
Lunatic Pandora: Mua haha ahaha mua mua ahahaha! AHEM . . . . I need more practice, just gimme a second . . . . [clears his throat] MUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! . . . . . better. ^_^
Ganondorf: o.O
Lunatic Pandora: I'll take this surprised look as a compliment. Anyway, I came to help you.
Ganondorf: . . . . . . why?
Lunatic Pandora: BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET ANOTHER CAMEO SO SHUT UP!!!!
Ganondorf: Yes, Ma'am.
Lunatic Pandora: -__-******
Ganondorf: So . . . . . how?
Lunatic Pandora: There's only one thing that can bring you back to life!
Ganondorf: And that's what?
Lunatic Pandora: A duel.
Ganondorf: A duel? With who?
Lunatic Pandora: With one of . . . . . THE THREE GODDESSES!
Ganondorf: o.O
Lunatic Pandora: C'mon! This is getting old!
Ganondorf: o.O
Lunatic Pandora: -_-*
Ganondorf: o.O
Lunatic Pandora: I CALL UPON THE THREE MIGHTY GODDESSES!!! MAY YOU GRANT THIS CREATURE THE CHANCE TO WIN BACK HIS LIFE!!!
Din: [appears] I, the Goddess of Power will be your opponent in this duel!!
Ganondorf: Uh oh.
Lunatic Pandora: Where are the other ones?
Din: Nayru got ill and Farore went out to steal some more ties.
Lunatic Pandora: o__o*
Ganondorf: (says) What kind of duel is this anyway? (thinks) Please let it be limbo, please let it be limbo, please let it be limbo . . . . .
Din: LIMBO!!
Ganondorf: WOOHOOO!
Din: Ha, just kidding!
Ganondorf: -_-*
Din: Of course it's a . . . . . SWORD FIGHT!
Ganondorf: Eep!
Lunatic Pandora: Well then . . . . . let the fight begin!!
Din: [magically draws a sword] HIIYAHH!!!
Ganondorf: Hey! Stop!! Wait!! I don't even have a sword!!
Din: Well, bring your own or die!!
Ganondorf: *gulp*
Suddenly Appearing Choir: [appears] Help! He needs somebody's help! Just anybody's help!! [disappears]
Din: [rolls eyes]
Lunatic Pandora: Okay, okay. Hey, Ganondorf!
Ganondorf: Huh?
Lunatic Pandora: Ever seen or read Utena?
Ganondorf: Of course, wh . . . . . oh no! Oh no! Ooooh no!! No frickin' way!!!!!
Lunatic Pandora: [opens Lunatic Pandora's Box and takes out a can saying "Instant Anthy Spray"]
Ganondorf: What the . . . . .
Lunatic Pandora: [sprays Ganondorf with it] HAHA!
Din: What the . . . . .
Ganondorf: [his chest starts to glow] AH! MOMMY!!
Lunatic Pandora: [gets closer to Ganondorf and pulls a sword out of his chest] TADAAA!!!
Ganondorf: GAH!!!
Lunatic Pandora: Wait, wait . . . . there's one more!! [pulls another sword out of Ganondorf's chest]
Ganondorf: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGS!!!!
Lunatic Pandora: Twin sword! Neat!!
Ganondorf: Pain . . . . . ugh . . . . . .
Utena: [appears] My rose bride!!
Din: What the hell are you doing in hell???
Utena: I came to rescue the rose bride!!
Din: That's not the rose bride, stupid girl.
Utena: I'm not a girl!! I'm a prince!!!
Din: Yeah, right. Now go and play with your dolls.
Utena: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! [runs away]
All: -__-****
Din: CAN WE FINALLY GET ON WITH THE FIGHT???
Lunatic Pandora: Of course, of course! Stab him to pieces!
Ganondorf: O_O*
Lunatic Pandora: Just a general remark, no offense - really.
Ganondorf: -_-*
Din: KARAKAIIIIYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! [tries to stab Ganondorf]
Ganondorf: Ack! [runs around in circles]
Din: You can't escape the power of the Goddess of Power!!!
Ganondorf: Wait!
Din: What?????
Ganondorf: Am I or am I not the bearer of the Triforce of Power?
Din: Of course you are, dumbass.
Ganondorf: And does or does this holy artefact not hold the power of the Goddess of Power?
Din: Of course it does, numbskull.
Ganondorf: And are you or are you not just the same person I was talking about in my former question, the Goddess of Power so to speak?
Din: Erm . . . .
Ganondorf: So does this or does this not mean that you are the one who gave MY Triforce HER power, making you powerless and me powerful seeing that you gave me all your power by giving me the Triforce of Power????
Din: Can't . . . . . . fight . . . . . must . . . . . think . . . . . am . . . . . confused . . . . . . WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! [runs away]
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Lunatic Pandora: I guess you won.
Ganondorf: Wooohooo!!!
Lunatic Pandora: Well, congrats. You're alive!!!
Ganondorf: YAYNESS!!!
Lunatic Pandora: So . . . . . you can go back now.
Ganondorf: Awesome!! Uhm . . . . bye!!! [wants to walk away, but . . . . ]
Lunatic Pandora: Wait!!! You forgot your swords!!
Ganondorf: O_O You can keep them!!! [runs away]
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[Back to life! Yay! I mean . . . . Hyrule Field]
Queenie: Okay, erm . . . . Ganondorf is here.
BrightGanon: I am indeed.
Queenie: . . . . but Johnny is here too.
Johnny: *nod*
Queenie: So this means that . . . . .
[suddenly a hole in the ground appears and Ganondorf climbs out of it]
Ganondorf: Ugh . . . . stupid hell . . . . they could at least have built an elevator . . .
Queenie: O_________O
Ravi: Uh oh.
Link: DADDY COFFIN!!!
Ganondorf: What the . . . .
Queenie: Ganondorf????
Ganondorf+BrightGanon: Yes?
Ganondorf: YOU????
BrightGanon: Uh . . . . erm . . . . .
Ganondorf: GET YOUR STUPID BRIGHT BUTT OUTTA MY SIGHT OR I'LL RIP YOU INTO TINY LITTLE PIECES AND FEED YOU TO ALL THE LOVELY ANIMALS!!!
BrightGanon: Eep! [disappears]
Queenie: Memory to myself . . . . memory to myself . . . . stop smoking weed . . . . I repeat, stop smoking weed! I mean, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE????
Ravi: Well, I . . . .
- insert explanation here -
Queenie: You did WHAT???
Ravi: Yes, I . . . .
- insert same explanation here -
Queenie: I can't believe it. You can't be serious!!!
Ravi: I just told you that I . . . .
- insert explanation again -
Queenie: But it's impossible that . . . . .
Link: SHUT COFFING UP! WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BY NOW!!
Queenie: I was just doing that for the purpose of creating a more thrilling atmosphere.
Ganondorf: Pff . . . . authors.
Queenie: Anyway, I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE ALIVE!! [hugs Ganondorf]
Ganondorf: Eugh . . . . not thanks to you! Ouch . . . . my chest . . . .
Queenie: Your chest?
Ganondorf: I don't want to talk about it.
Queenie: Oh. Okay. I WANT TO HEAR EVERY DETAIL!!!
Ganondorf: -__-***
Ravi: Are you going to punish me now?
Queenie: Hey, good idea! I didn't think of that!
Ravi: D'OH!
Queenie: Nah, just kidding. It's punishment enough to appear in this story.
Ganondorf: Wow. I never expected to hear that from your mouth.
Everyone who has ever appeared in this story: Because you are goddamn right!!!
Queenie: -_-****
Ganondorf: Awesome! I'm alive and Queenie has finally realized that her story is nothing but an immense torture!! I think that's everything we needed to know.
Ravi: Yeah, right. It's over!!
All: YAY!!
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THE END!!!
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Readers: Uhm . . . . . . . [point at Link]
Link: La dee da coffin du dun dadee . . . . . coffin yay . . . . . dundadun . . . . . yodelee . . . . .
Ganondorf: DAMN!!! I knew that we're forgetting something!!
Queenie: *sigh* So there . . . . .
Ravi: OFF TO THE NEXT QUEST FOR ANOTHER LUNATIC!!!
All: Galabazoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
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Chapter 28 of The Troublesome Quest For Sanity was brought to you by
Diablo - The fresh fragrance from Hell and
Queenie û