Fan Fiction ❯ The Way Love Grows ❯ It's Hard to Say No to Takamiya ( Chapter 1 )

It's hard to say no to Takamiya.

I never know with Takamiya on any given morning, whether he'll be lying in bed sleeping peacefully in the nude beside me, or in his study working. He usually gets up before me though, and puts in a good hour working on whatever current translation project he has in hand before my alarm clock even goes off. When it does, I head for the shower and get ready to face another day of labs and lectures at the technical college I attend..

If I get up first, I like to surprise Takamiya by making him breakfast. Scrambled eggs on ramen is my specialty, but I have to say, that most of the time, Takamiya surprises me, often with breakfast which is usually onigiri with miso soup, but just as often he surprises me with sex-- in the shower, in the kitchen, on the couch, and occasionally, yes, even in the bedroom.

He's a very creative guy and sex with him is good, but it's also sometimes so intense that, not always, but sometimes, it affects my class work. It's hard enough for me to concentrate on Boolean logic and Visual Kei in the normal course of things, and thank heavens I'm just taking introductory computer science survey classes, but still, sometimes at eight o'clock in the morning , with the memory of our last make-out session fresh in my mind, it's almost impossible for me to focus.

It's always been hard for me to say no to Takamiya, especially when it comes to sex. I'm not sure why. guess there's just something about him. Before I met him, I was straight, interested in heterosexual sex only. If anyone had asked me what I thought about gays, I would have said, I hate them. But Takamiya-- I swear this guy turned me homo. I'm not kidding.

I don't think I'd want to have homosexual with just anyone though. Takamiya is special. He's an incredibly nice person, but also incredibly persuasive. I'm afraid that when it comes to sex, he's like a steamroller with me.

Sure, I want sex with him, but sometimes, yeah, sometimes, I'd just rather work on my papers for class. But how do I tell him?

It's not his fault. I know it's mine, because I can't say no.

Maybe it's kind of like the line from that song…Why'd you have to be so good? His smile, his kiss, the tongue he drives me crazy with.

But sometimes, I worry.

I don't want to go on probation at school. Sometimes, I feel like I ought to tell him I need to study, not screw but I'm too embarrassed. I'll never be head of the class, but if I study, I get good grades.

The big thing is-- this thing with Takamiya, our relationship--It's troubling. He tells me he loves me. He tells me I'm special to him.

Takamiya is an elegant, educated, handsome, talented man, and I'm just a college kid from a middle class family attending a technical school. I'm not hard on the eyes from what I'm told, but no raving beauty either. I'm really pretty average.

I did well enough in high school to make it into college, .but would Takamiya respect me if I flunked out? I find it hard to believe that a man like him would want to be hooked up for life with a half-wit.. Takamiya would be a catch for anyone. Talk about an eligible bachelor--but he picked me.

I don't want him to think he made a mistake.

I'm on shaky ground in all my classes and I know it., With finals just a week away, and a week to cram what didn't stick in my head the first time around, I 've decided that I have to put my foot down as diplomatically as possible with Takamiya. He isn't going to like what I have to tell him, I know. To soften the blow, I should make him breakfast.

================================================================ ============

"Thanks, Izumi, this is delicious," he says. It's an English breakfast. Tea and toast. He's in a good mood, as usual and I hate to burst his bubble, but this is important to me.

"Takamiya?"

"What is it, Izumi?"

"You know how I feel about you, right?" That wasn't exactly how I'd planned to start out.

"What do you mean, Izumi?"

He answers my question with a question. He loves to hear me say those three little words, but it's seven fifteen and I have to leave for the subway in just five minutes. I decide I don't have time for subtlety, so, I just blurt it out, ""Finals week is coming up soon, Takamiya. There is to be absolutely, positively no sex between us during finals week or in the week before."

"No sex?" he repeats like he heard me wrong.

"No sex?" he says again, like he can't believe what he just heard.

"You heard me right, Takamiya." I know I sound more gruff than I want to, but I need to show him how firm I am on this point.

".But, why not, Izumi? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? Can I make it up to you?"

He's confused, apologetic, loveable.

"Gah! Nothing like that," I say.

I might have known he wouldn't make this easy on me.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," I hasten to assure him with just a little exasperation. 'I'm not hurt, but I just can't have sex with you for a while because…"

Takamiya looks grave as he asks me simply, "Why?"

"Because it makes it too hard for me to concentrate on my classes when I'm thinking about what we did the night before."

I'm relieved when he breaks into a grin, but it's his sexy grin, so I have to be on my guard.

"Is it too hard now, Izumi?" he asks with a sly arch of an eyebrow. "I can help with that, you know."

He's going to derail me if I don't stand firm.

"I'm not joking, Takamiya!"

"I was though, Izumi," he replies.

He totally wasn't. I know this guy. If a bullet train had a sex drive, it would be Takamiya. He'd have sex with me without a second thought about making me late for class if I gave him the slightest encouragement, but I began to think that a little of what I was trying to explain to him sank in when he responded graciously enough, "If you don't want to have sex during finals week, I won't bother you."

Apparently a little bit did sink in, but it's just like Takamiya to blank out what he doesn't want to hear. I'm a little annoyed that he's being so obtuse about it, but then again, it is early, so I reign in my exasperation as best I can.

"Hmmph! I just told you--it's not just finals week, but also the week before. I have to concentrate on my studies!"

"No sex with Izumi for two whole weeks," he says to the room at large in a voice as glum as I have ever heard from him.

It's not that I want to hurt his feelings, but at least, he's finally getting the picture.

"That's right, Takamiya. Only two weeks," I say in an encouraging tone.

"Two weeks," he repeats.

The way he says it, a person would think I'd asked him to give up air or water, but finally he nods and says, "I think I understand, and I want you to do well, Izumi. Study hard. I promise I won't bother you."

I'm not sure I believe that for a minute. He's taking this a lot better than I thought he would, but then Takamiya can be very generous. It's one of the many things I love about him.

"Thanks for making breakfast, Izumi," he says, and then he smiles, and I'm lost again. His face is so kind and loving that when he opens his arms, I step into his embrace out of habit.

There's one thing I forgot to tell him, but when he leans in to give me a good-bye kiss, I remember what it was. Takamiya's tongue…the way he kisses me. Unnh. It feels too good, way too good to stop. His kiss is so deep and it's making me so hot… I really need to stop this now, but he breaks the kiss first, to whisper softly, "So, when does this "no sex" thing start, Izumi?"

I want to say tomorrow so bad, but, "Today, Takamiya," is what I tell him with a sigh, and reluctantly withdraw from his arms, with my face flushed and my arousal a reminder of why I have made the decision to avoid sex with him. As I swallow the lump in my throat, I feel the need to add, "No kissing either."

Takamiya seems a little crest-fallen as he repeats, "No kissing,"

He gives me a serious look and tells me, "I want what's best for you, Izumi. I won't break my promise. I love you, you know."

I should let him know I feel the same, but the words catch in my throat as I notice the time and exclaim , "Twenty-five after?! Gotta run to catch the train!"

I call out over my shoulder up the stairs, "Don't wait up for me. I'll be late getting home."

================================================================ ============

When I thought about our conversation on the subway, I felt a little guilty. I've known Takamiya long enough to realize that the physical expression of love is very important to him. I would hate to have him think that I don't love him, but one of the main reasons that I want to do well is that I want him to be proud of me. It doesn't seem to matter to him what I do or don't do. He says he loves me for myself, .but it matters to me. I want him to show him that the person he chose to love is smart and talented, not just cute .

With that mindset, I was able to concentrate on my classes very well. I made some time to talk with my my teachers to find out what particular areas of study I should emphasize if I wanted to improve my chances of a good grade on the final exams. Two of them suggested internet study guides that would be helpful. I spent several hours in a computer lab working through some on-line tutorials. I took a break, ate a cup of instant noodles I bought from the vending machine in the student lounge, then decided to go back to the lab.

Some of the applications were still way over my head, so I worked my way through the tutorials again. Some of the subject matter, I was delighted to find I now understood thoroughly. Some of it was still clear as mud. With my mind wired but tired, I decided to pack it in for the day, go home and get some sleep.

The train made good time, I was home in under half an hour. I pulled on my pajamas and crawled into bed at a little after 11PM. I couldn't help noticing with gratitude that Takamiya was wearing pajamas too, for the first time in months, no doubt out of consideration for me. He was awake.

"I'm glad you're home, Izumi. I was starting to get worried. How did the studying go?"

"I'm still a little lost, but things are beginning to make more sense in information technology. At least half the professor's lecture went over my head, but he pointed me towards a tutorial that helped me make sense of it after I worked through it a few times."

"I'm glad it went well for you, but of course, you should get some sleep. I remember very well what it was like to cram for exams," he said and turned off the lamp the table by his bed.

I turned my lamp off too. The glow of the half-moon spilled through the window onto Takamiya's face.

"Takamiya?"

"What is it?"

"How did your day go?"

"More productive than usual. I translated forty pages."

"That's a lot. Isn't that some kind of record for you?"

" I guess it is. At first I decided to throw myself into it because I needed the distraction, but your dedication to study impressed me. You're working hard, so I decided that I should do the same. I didn't have a bad day after all."

"I'm glad. To tell the truth, I've been a little concerned that you'd be okay with this arrangement."

"I've been a little worried too, Izumi. I know I'm not supposed to kiss you or have sex with you, but I don't think I could make it for two weeks without a hug."

I found I felt the same and reached out for him.

"I could really use one, Takamiya,"

"Ah, Izumi," he said.

I slept like a baby with his arms around me.