Fan Fiction ❯ Trancending Death ❯ I Will Not Return ( Chapter 88 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Soulless Wanderer 
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Fantasy / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.23.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 105 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Fantasy / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.23.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 105 | Status: Completed
Alex turned and face them. His expression was hard to read. His lips were parted into a smile, his eyes were closed shut, and his head was slightly bowed toward the ground. “I know what he meant, Aurora. If you want to know why I am so eager to fight this Devil, it is for a few reasons. First off, no, I’m not sure whether or not my killing this Devil will bring me any closer to having my mate and child with me; but if there’s even a small chance that this could help, I will do it. Second, I made a promise. These hands are covered in the blood of innocent people. No matter how many times I may try to wash it off, this blood will forever stay on my hands. I made a promise to those that I had slain. I told them that with my own hands I would slay the monster responsible for this. I told them that I wouldn’t rest until I do,” Alex paused for a second and turned away from them as he told them the final reason that he was so willing to fight this Devil. “Also, this fight has become personal.”
“Persona?” The question escaped Shadow’s lips before he realized what he had said.
Alex looked up at him with a pained expression. The look in his eyes was one that Shadow had never seen before. It was a rare glimpse of Alex’s weaker side. A side that only those that were truly close to him had ever even imagined that existed. In Alex’s eyes, Shadow realized just how lost he really was.
“It has become personal because of something that I discovered in the Celestial Realm.” Alex turned his back to them before he continued. “Brittany and our child were supposed to have survived the pregnancy. Neither one of them was supposed to die for quite a long time afterwards.”
It took a second for anyone to truly grasp what Alex had just told them. Even then, it made little sense to anyone.
“So, they weren’t supposed to die when they did?” Aurora asked.
Alex nodded slowly.
“But, then why did they die when they did?” Shadow inquired.
“Everyone’s fates are planned out for them from the beginning of their life to the end of it. Of course there lives are controlled by themselves. For the path that they take in life, ultimately decides their fate. But in the end, all their paths, all the possibilities of their future all connect at one point. No matter what they chose in life, no matter what happened to them, they will die at the time they are appointed to. Naturally, nothing would be able to change that. However, when someone is brought back to life, they change the fate of everyone they come in contact with. Whether it be ending their lives earlier or prolonging it. That Devil that has plagued us all, was brought back by Scion through necromancy. That Devil then managed to somehow enter our lives, and thus affect our own destinies. It is because of him that Brittany and our child died. Not because of my tainted blood. It is by my blood that I have doomed my child to the abyss, an abyss that I’m not sure I can get him out of. I will repent for my own sins when the time comes. For I fear I am not long for this world.”
“So the Devil killed them? But how did he manage to do something like that? I mean, wouldn’t we have noticed if anyone unusual had been around Brittany during that time. I mean...,” Aurora stopped in the middle of her sentence as a cold shiver ran up her spine. The last words Alex said began to echo through her head. For I fear I am not long for this world.
Shadow caught onto what Alex had said a few seconds before Aurora did. His mind was already racing at the sheer ludicrous idea of Alex’s departure from this world. But something in the way that Alex said it made his imminent death seem all too real. “Alex, surely you can’t mean what I think you do.”
Alex looked up and smiled at them. Even though the smile itself was a real one, it was far from being a smile full of happiness. “What I mean is, regardless of the outcome of this battle, today I shall take my last breath in this realm. I will return to the Celestial Realm one way or another. For despite the hope I have that if I defeat this Devil, Brittany and my child will be returned, I know better than that. Zemnas is not the kind of person who will be so willing to alter the rules for one individual no matter what the reason. If I return to the Celestial Realm, I will be with Brittany forever, and then I myself will use the Forbidden Tome to bring back my child. I will finally be able to find the peace I have longed for. So in short, what I am saying is that this will be the last time I will speak with you.”
The shock that appeared on the three demon’s faces was unsurpassed by any other emotion. Aurora looked at Alex in total refusal to believe what she had just heard.
“Alex...no, you can’t just give up and die!” she cried.
Alex walked over to her and lifted her chin up so that she could look at him. Despite the sadness that had become a permanent look on his face, Aurora could also see a twinge of hope. “Aurora, you have Shadow, and you’ll be a mother. You’ll have a family to take care of. I’m going to defeat this Devil so that you might live and have that family. Then, I’m going to return to my family. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Aurora burst into tears as Alex spoke. She tried to stop them but she couldn’t. Why am I crying? Why can’t I stop crying? What Alex is saying...it makes sense, but at the same time I don’t want to let him go. He’s become a part of my life, a part of all our lives, and after losing Brittany...it will be like losing a sister and a brother. I can’t lose him now too!
When Alex saw that his words were having a worse effect on Aurora than he imagined, he turned to look at Shadow. “Surely you understand what I mean.”
Shadow’s fist trembled with untold emotion. Not even Alex fully understood what was causing this until Shadow looked up at him. “No! I don’t understand! Why do you have to throw your life away regardless of whether you win or lose? This realm still needs you, Alex! We still need you! ”
“Shadow, your words do not fall on deaf ears. Nor do Aurora’s tears fall on blind eyes. It’s just that these ears and these eyes have already come to their own truths.” Alex turned to Shadow with the same smile showing on his face as he looked at him. “If it is the realm you are worried about, then don’t be. Found a suitable replacement for me once I am gone. For you see, when I leave this world, Shadow, it is you who I want to watch over this realm.”
Shadow shook his head. “I can’t, Alex. That is your job! You can’t honestly think that I would make a great leader like you. What about Kiba? What about someone who has experience in leading and in ruling. If not Kiba, then you should stay here.”
Alex closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Kiba wouldn’t take it even if I did offer it to him. He’s not the kind of man who wants powers.”
“Well neither am I!”
Alex looked back up at him and shook his head. “I know that, but I also know that you’ve grown up a lot. I believe that out of everyone, you will make the best leader. With Aurora at your side, both of you will be able to watch over this land.”
Before Shadow could protest further, Alex turned to Raion. “Raion, as leader of this realm’s army I want you to take note. That regardless of what happens in the next few moments, that after my death, Shadow will be placed as leader of this realm. Even though I denied that position, it was still mine to give away. Thus, I am giving it to him. I am making this decision with a sound mind, knowing that even though those in this realm will hate me, they will still listen to my word.”
Raion nodded quickly. “It will be as you have commanded.”
“Alex...,” Aurora whispered. “Do you honestly think that this is what Brittany wants?”
Alex sighed and shook his head. “This is what I want, Aurora. I’m tired of fighting! I’m tired of having someone try to kill me every time I turn around. I would give anything to have just a little peace in my life! I would gladly give my life if it meant I could spend all eternity with my mate and my child without fear that they would be killed one night by someone who still holds a grudge against me. I want a life of peace. I want a life where I don’t have to fight anymore. Surely you must want the same thing. To live a life where you know you’ll be safe. To live a life, where you don’t have to worry about Shadow coming home when he lives. A life, where you can let your children play outside, without watching in fear that something might happen. I know I’m a Devil, but shouldn’t I get a chance at a life like that too?”
“Promise me this, Alex. When you defeat the Devil that plagues this realm, return back to the castle with us and tell Kiba goodbye. After that, I will hold no ill will to you leaving us,” Shadow said softly.
Aurora looked at him with wide eyes, but then looked toward the ground. “I guess...I guess I won’t mind it either. I mean, I understand what you say and it does make sense. It’s just that...well...it’s just going to be hard. I mean, first losing Brittany and now you!”
“Persona?” The question escaped Shadow’s lips before he realized what he had said.
Alex looked up at him with a pained expression. The look in his eyes was one that Shadow had never seen before. It was a rare glimpse of Alex’s weaker side. A side that only those that were truly close to him had ever even imagined that existed. In Alex’s eyes, Shadow realized just how lost he really was.
“It has become personal because of something that I discovered in the Celestial Realm.” Alex turned his back to them before he continued. “Brittany and our child were supposed to have survived the pregnancy. Neither one of them was supposed to die for quite a long time afterwards.”
It took a second for anyone to truly grasp what Alex had just told them. Even then, it made little sense to anyone.
“So, they weren’t supposed to die when they did?” Aurora asked.
Alex nodded slowly.
“But, then why did they die when they did?” Shadow inquired.
“Everyone’s fates are planned out for them from the beginning of their life to the end of it. Of course there lives are controlled by themselves. For the path that they take in life, ultimately decides their fate. But in the end, all their paths, all the possibilities of their future all connect at one point. No matter what they chose in life, no matter what happened to them, they will die at the time they are appointed to. Naturally, nothing would be able to change that. However, when someone is brought back to life, they change the fate of everyone they come in contact with. Whether it be ending their lives earlier or prolonging it. That Devil that has plagued us all, was brought back by Scion through necromancy. That Devil then managed to somehow enter our lives, and thus affect our own destinies. It is because of him that Brittany and our child died. Not because of my tainted blood. It is by my blood that I have doomed my child to the abyss, an abyss that I’m not sure I can get him out of. I will repent for my own sins when the time comes. For I fear I am not long for this world.”
“So the Devil killed them? But how did he manage to do something like that? I mean, wouldn’t we have noticed if anyone unusual had been around Brittany during that time. I mean...,” Aurora stopped in the middle of her sentence as a cold shiver ran up her spine. The last words Alex said began to echo through her head. For I fear I am not long for this world.
Shadow caught onto what Alex had said a few seconds before Aurora did. His mind was already racing at the sheer ludicrous idea of Alex’s departure from this world. But something in the way that Alex said it made his imminent death seem all too real. “Alex, surely you can’t mean what I think you do.”
Alex looked up and smiled at them. Even though the smile itself was a real one, it was far from being a smile full of happiness. “What I mean is, regardless of the outcome of this battle, today I shall take my last breath in this realm. I will return to the Celestial Realm one way or another. For despite the hope I have that if I defeat this Devil, Brittany and my child will be returned, I know better than that. Zemnas is not the kind of person who will be so willing to alter the rules for one individual no matter what the reason. If I return to the Celestial Realm, I will be with Brittany forever, and then I myself will use the Forbidden Tome to bring back my child. I will finally be able to find the peace I have longed for. So in short, what I am saying is that this will be the last time I will speak with you.”
The shock that appeared on the three demon’s faces was unsurpassed by any other emotion. Aurora looked at Alex in total refusal to believe what she had just heard.
“Alex...no, you can’t just give up and die!” she cried.
Alex walked over to her and lifted her chin up so that she could look at him. Despite the sadness that had become a permanent look on his face, Aurora could also see a twinge of hope. “Aurora, you have Shadow, and you’ll be a mother. You’ll have a family to take care of. I’m going to defeat this Devil so that you might live and have that family. Then, I’m going to return to my family. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Aurora burst into tears as Alex spoke. She tried to stop them but she couldn’t. Why am I crying? Why can’t I stop crying? What Alex is saying...it makes sense, but at the same time I don’t want to let him go. He’s become a part of my life, a part of all our lives, and after losing Brittany...it will be like losing a sister and a brother. I can’t lose him now too!
When Alex saw that his words were having a worse effect on Aurora than he imagined, he turned to look at Shadow. “Surely you understand what I mean.”
Shadow’s fist trembled with untold emotion. Not even Alex fully understood what was causing this until Shadow looked up at him. “No! I don’t understand! Why do you have to throw your life away regardless of whether you win or lose? This realm still needs you, Alex! We still need you! ”
“Shadow, your words do not fall on deaf ears. Nor do Aurora’s tears fall on blind eyes. It’s just that these ears and these eyes have already come to their own truths.” Alex turned to Shadow with the same smile showing on his face as he looked at him. “If it is the realm you are worried about, then don’t be. Found a suitable replacement for me once I am gone. For you see, when I leave this world, Shadow, it is you who I want to watch over this realm.”
Shadow shook his head. “I can’t, Alex. That is your job! You can’t honestly think that I would make a great leader like you. What about Kiba? What about someone who has experience in leading and in ruling. If not Kiba, then you should stay here.”
Alex closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Kiba wouldn’t take it even if I did offer it to him. He’s not the kind of man who wants powers.”
“Well neither am I!”
Alex looked back up at him and shook his head. “I know that, but I also know that you’ve grown up a lot. I believe that out of everyone, you will make the best leader. With Aurora at your side, both of you will be able to watch over this land.”
Before Shadow could protest further, Alex turned to Raion. “Raion, as leader of this realm’s army I want you to take note. That regardless of what happens in the next few moments, that after my death, Shadow will be placed as leader of this realm. Even though I denied that position, it was still mine to give away. Thus, I am giving it to him. I am making this decision with a sound mind, knowing that even though those in this realm will hate me, they will still listen to my word.”
Raion nodded quickly. “It will be as you have commanded.”
“Alex...,” Aurora whispered. “Do you honestly think that this is what Brittany wants?”
Alex sighed and shook his head. “This is what I want, Aurora. I’m tired of fighting! I’m tired of having someone try to kill me every time I turn around. I would give anything to have just a little peace in my life! I would gladly give my life if it meant I could spend all eternity with my mate and my child without fear that they would be killed one night by someone who still holds a grudge against me. I want a life of peace. I want a life where I don’t have to fight anymore. Surely you must want the same thing. To live a life where you know you’ll be safe. To live a life, where you don’t have to worry about Shadow coming home when he lives. A life, where you can let your children play outside, without watching in fear that something might happen. I know I’m a Devil, but shouldn’t I get a chance at a life like that too?”
“Promise me this, Alex. When you defeat the Devil that plagues this realm, return back to the castle with us and tell Kiba goodbye. After that, I will hold no ill will to you leaving us,” Shadow said softly.
Aurora looked at him with wide eyes, but then looked toward the ground. “I guess...I guess I won’t mind it either. I mean, I understand what you say and it does make sense. It’s just that...well...it’s just going to be hard. I mean, first losing Brittany and now you!”