Fan Fiction ❯ What is Love ❯ to Them ( Chapter 3 )

To Them

 

Raven lay in her bed wide awake, unable to drift off to sleep. Her blankets had been thrown about the room, and her bed sheets had been torn off due to her tossing. No position she tried and no matter how comfortable she was, she was not granted the sleep that she so desperately needed. Hesitantly, she turned her head in the direction of her digital clock. She had repeated this action five times throughout that night, and to her annoyance, each repetition revealed the same time displayed on her clock.

 

“Midnight,” Raven sighed in frustration. “It seems like hours have passed, but not even a minute has. Why can't I sleep?” Deep down, however, Raven knew the answer. Deep down, she knew that she could not hold her feelings in, no matter how hard she tried to make them go away, any longer. Knowing that, she would not allow herself to rest until her love was revealed.

 

“Why now?” Raven complained to herself. “Everyone is asleep. Waking him up in the middle of the night is a bad idea. If someone came knocking at my door at this time of night, I would not hesitate to render them unconscious in a very painful manner.

 

`But, Beast Boy is in no way you,' Knowledge stated from deep within the recesses of Raven's mind. `Neither you nor I can be sure of how he will react. For all we know, Beast Boy has been in love with us for years and has his own reasons for keeping it to himself'

 

“I know that Beast Boy isn't me,” Raven admitted. “No one comes close to me.”

 

`You meant that in the non conceited way, correct?' Knowledge said with a smirk, although that smirk was not seen by Raven.

 

Raven glared at the air in front of her. “What I was trying to say is that I can't expect people to be like me. Thus, I can't expect Beast Boy to love me just because I love him.”

 

`We've learned that before,' Love added solemnly. `I only hope that fate does not see fit to teach us the same lesson twice.'

 

Raven sighed. “I hope so too.”

 

`Your pitiful hope means nothing!' Rage yelled from a dark corner of Raven's mind. `Love means nothing! Just accept your fate. Rage is all that mattmph.'

 

Deep within that dark corner of Raven's mind, Bravery could be seen tackling and covering Rage's mouth. `We are all getting off topic here. Raven needs to tell him, and she needs to tell him now. Raven, it doesn't matter if he is asleep, just wake him up. It isn't like he won't sleep in tomorrow anyway.'

 

Raven sighed and rolled out of her bed. “Fine. I'll go and wake Beast Boy up, even though that is rude and inconsiderate, the very thing that I reprimand people for the most.” Raven walked out of her room and turned to walk town the hallway towards Beast Boy's room.

 

`Then maybe you should wake Beast Boy up in a way that is really really considerate,' Gross said suggestively.

 

Raven stopped dead in her tracks and turned around swiftly. “I need some herbal tea,” she said as she almost ran towards the common room.

 

llllllllllllllllllll

 

Outside the tower, clouds amassed in the night sky, completely concealing the moon. No light was allowed to pass through the sky's cloudy shield. There was nothing but darkness below the skyline. Inside the tower, it was no different. The common room was pitch black. Nothing could be seen within the borders of the room. Yet, there was far from nothing within it.

 

Beast Boy sat alone leaning against one of the windows that acted as a wall, surrounded by the darkness of the common room. It was strange to him. Hr never could find it in himself to hate the darkness no matter how much he stated otherwise. The darkness reminded him of Raven, and he could never hate Raven even though he knew that she hated him.

 

`Why does life seem so hard for me?' Beast Boy asked himself in despair. `What did I do to deserve this? I loose my parents. I look like a freak. The girl that I love hates me. Yet, though it all, I have to put on a hollow smile. I am the jester. I have to smile.' Beast Boy could feel a tear running down his cheek, but made no move to wipe it away. `I have to smile.' The door to the common room of Titan's Tower was enveloped in black energy ad slid open, but Beast Boy only heard it. Yet, he did not care. He only hoped that whoever it was would leave him alone. However, something inside of him said that he had to look up. Something told him that if he did not, he would regret it. Even though he wanted to ignore the intruder until he was once again left alone,

He could not bring himself not to look.

 

llllllllllllllllllll

 

Raven briskly walked into the common room of Titan's Tower with a flustered expression on her face. She was trying her best to think of anything but the implications of Gross's statement. Yet, the more she tried not to think about it, the more that she did, and the fact that Gross was giving a detailed description of shat Raven should do was not helping the matter at all. However, everything was silenced in her mind when she felt a pair of eyes on her.

 

Raven raised her head to scan the room, but all that she saw was darkness. However, as her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, objects began to come into focus. She could see the couch in front of her. She could see the television almost perfectly. Se could just barely see… something against one of the large window walls of the tower.

 

`What is that?' Raven questioned. With her quest for tea long forgotten, she began to inch forward towards the mysterious object. With each step, the object became clearer, and she soon learned that it was not an object at all. She could see that it was in fact a person, and that person was staring directly at her from their position.

 

“Raven,” Beast Boy half asked just to see is she was real.

 

Raven immediately recognized the voice, and froze in place. Beast Boy was the last person that she expected to see alone in a dark room, and he was the person she was dreading to see the most. For a long time, she just stood there unable to speak. It was only when she thought that if she did not do something, Beast Boy would think that she was only an illusion that she did speak. “B-Beast Boy? W-What are you doing here.”

 

Beast Boy looked at raven stunned that she was really standing in front of him. He had thought that everyone was asleep, but apparently he was wrong. Once he got over the initial shock, he averted his gaze from Raven, not wanting her to see the despair in his eyes. “I-I couldn't sleep. There has been too much on my mind recently.”

 

Raven would have smiled at the irony, but the tone of Beast Boy's voice told her that would make things much worse. She could hear the despair echoing through the voice of the one she secretly loved, and it hurt her. Not having that much experience in comforting people, she did the only thing that came to mind. She quietly sat down beside Beast Boy and stared at the floor between them. Beast Boy's hand just happen to be where her eyes had chosen to look, and she could not help but contemplate clasping it gently to show him that she was there for him. The emotional argument inside of her mind was oddly enough won by Timid, and she just sat there in silence.

 

Beast Boy hesitantly glanced at Raven out of the corner of his eye, wondering why she was just sitting there. `Is there something on the floor,' he wondered, but he did not dare make any move to see out of fear of drawing Raven's attention. He feared what he knew that he had to say if he did. `Why now? Why is it that the thing that made me not be able to sleep also is having trouble sleeping today? Is this fate? Is this how I am supposed to tell her? Is this when I am supposed to tell her?'

 

“R-Raven?” Beast Boy began what he knew would be the worst thing that he could possibly do.

 

Beast Boy's voice tore Raven from her thoughts which ironically mimicked Beast Boy's. “Y-Yes. What's wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” Beast Boy hastily replied. “Nothing is wrong. I-I just need to tell you something.”

 

For a long time, there was only silence, and Raven could not help but think that Beast Boy's absent mindedness had caused him to forget that he had said anything at all. Happy and Love immediately said that it was so cute that he did that, but Raven was not convinced that that actually was the case. “Beast Boy, whatever you need to tell me, I will be more than happy to listen, but if it is too hard to say, then do not force yourself to. You can tell me whatever it is whenever you are ready.”

 

“Thank you,” Beast Boy whispered, “but I have to say this. Raven, I… I… no. The thing is… no. I think that I… no. It's like this…” Defeated, Beast Boy sighed and gave up. “Never mind. I'm sorry. Forget that I said anything.”

 

Raven gazed at the one that she loved utterly and completely confused. However, deep within Raven's mind, Knowledge had a knowing smile across her face, but se decided to let things play out instead of telling what she now knew. Thus, Raven was stuck with her confusion. `What was that all about? Beast Boy usually verbally expresses himself constantly. What could be so hard for him to say?' “It's okay, Beast Boy. I understand.”

 

Although Beast Boy was no longer speaking and he was intentionally looking as far away from Raven as possible, his mind did not follow the example his eyes set forth. `Why can I not say it? It is just four simple words. Raven, I love you. RAVEN, I love you. Raven, I LOVE you. I want to say it, though. I feel like I am about to burst if I do not. I do love her, and she needs to know even if she does not feel the same way. I do not want to hurt her, though. God, what am I going to do?'

 

While Beast Boy was lost in his own thoughts, Raven could not pull her gaze away from the emerald changeling's face. She studied ever feature that he had at a closeness that she never was able to before. `Look away, Raven!' She screamed at herself, but her body… her heart would not listen. `If he sees me looking at him, then I will… I'll have to…'

 

`What are you so afraid of, Raven?' Love asked. `We all have already established that you are going to tell him that you love him. You are just using your fear of being caught in an embarrassing situation distract you from what you have to do. So, shut up… er… not really shut up. Never mind. TELL HIM!'

 

“B-Beast Boy,” Raven began timidly causing the young shape shifter to turn his head towards the dark teen, “I need to tell you something.” Raven inhaled deeply, fully preparing herself for what she was about to do, and what she hoped was not going to have an undesirable outcome.

 

“Raven,” Beast Boy said that something was wrong, something like she already knew what he was going to say before. “What is it, Rae? Y-You can tell me anything.”

 

“I-I know, but this is really hard for me to say.” Raven gazed deep into the green eyes of the one that she loved and gathered all of her courage as well as borrowed some from Brave. “Beast Boy, I have to tell you that I… I need you to understand that I… I…” Raven sighed. She could not do it, but she could say something just as true. “I'm so sorry, Beast Boy.”

 

Beast Boy looked at the dark beauty confused. “But, you didn't do anything, Raven.”

 

“I did, though.” Tears began to fill in Raven's eyes, and several unlit lights in the adjacent hallway burst, but the sound never reached the two. “Almost every day, I did it. I am so sorry, Beast Boy. I'm sorry for pushing you so far away when you only wanted to be nice. I'm so sorry that I always made fun of you whenever you were so nice. I'm so sorry. I was afraid. I didn't want anyone to get too close… especially you. I did not want to accidentally hurt anyone. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I should have just explained everything to you.”

 

Beast Boy just sat there, comprehending everything that Raven, the one that he loved, had just said. He was wrong. `She… she couldn't mean that. I am the idiot. She hates me, right? She hates me. I am nothing to her.' As his mind was trying to convince him of something false, his heart was fighting for what was right. Beast Boy could not help but notice Raven's sobs and the now numerous objects that were exploding around them, and he could not help but go along with what his heart was screaming at him to do.

 

Beast Boy scooted as close to Raven as he could and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. Raven did what came natural to any person even one as secluded as her. She returned the hug and cried into Beast Boy's shoulder. Raven's remorse triggered the worst in her powers. A multitude of objects were either being melted or blown to bits around the two teenagers. A couch cushion, a plate in the sink, a refrigerator magnet, the remote control, …a gamestation controller… a framed picture of Cyborg… …Beast Boy's secret tofu stash… … …a teacup… … …and then it stopped, but not before Beast Boy realized that what Raven said was said with sincerity.

”You meant it, didn't you?” Beast Boy asked while cradling Raven. “You don't hate me.”

 

Raven pulled away from Beast Boy and pulled her hood up over her head instinctively to hide her reddened eyes and tear stained cheeks. “N-No, I don't hate you. How could I hate you, Beast Boy? You've been nothing but kind to me. I'm sorry that I made you think otherwise. I'm so sorry.” Raven turned her head away from Beast Boy. She could not bear to look at him.

 

Beast Boy looked at Raven, and then at his hands. “I was wrong,” he whispered to no one in particular. The young shape shifter turned his eyes to Raven with new resolve. “Raven,” he began with confidence. “I'm not going to lie to you. All of those things that you said over the years really hurt, but it wasn't the words that hurt. I think that if it were anyone else saying those things to me, I might have come out unharmed. What you said hurt, because you were the one who said it. It hurt hearing the one that I loved verbally attack me like that.”

 

Raven's eyes went wide and she stared at Beast Boy from beneath her hood in astonishment.

 

`I knew it,” Knowledge whispered, but Raven's mind was too preoccupied to hear it.

 

`Did he just… Did I hear him right? H-He loved me, even though I've been nothing but mean to him?” Raven just continued to stare at Beast Boy who was giving her a hopeful, almost pleading look. “Y-You loved me?”

 

“Love, Raven, not loved.” Beast Boy said softly. “I love you more than anything or anyone else that I have ever met, but I've been keeping it to myself for so long. I was afraid of what might happen if I told you. I never wanted to loose your friendship completely. I thought that we barely even had a friendship, and I had to hold on to it. Raven, I don't know how you feel about me. I was beginning to think that you really did hate me, but you don't. I know that now. Raven, I just want you to know that I love you, and I hope that… Raven, isn't your cloak supposed to be a dark blue?”

 

Raven knew what was happening, but she did not care. Her cloak was now a light blue color, but she ignored it. Instead, she lowered the hood of her cloak off of her head and gazed at Beast Boy allowing him to see her tear stained cheeks. “You love me. Even though I've been nothing but hateful to you, you still ended up falling in love with me.” Raven smiled feeling nothing but sheer joy, but nothing blew up. “I love you too, Beast Boy. I think that I have always loved you, but I never realized it until recently. I've been debating with myself on whether I should tell you or not. I thought that you hated me for how I always treated you before, and I didn't want to get hurt. I love you.”

 

Beast Boy looked at Raven in shock. “You love me?! That is the best thing that I've ever hear, but also the worst. I love you, Raven, but I don't ever want to hurt you. That is what I would eventually do if we were together. I would do something incredibly stupid, ruining what we have and possibly hurting you in the process. I want us to be together, Raven, but I can't bear the fact that I would just end up hurting you in the end.”

 

“W-Why?” Raven stuttered. “Why would you think that?”

 

“Because, doing something stupid and getting you upset are things that unwillingly come natural to me. Something bad is bound to happen if we got together. I'm just a screw up. It is what I am, and I can't change that. I would just do something stupid,”

 

“Beast Boy,” Raven smiled, “I love you because you are you. I love everything about you, and that includes the things you do that do not go as planned. We love each other, Beast Boy. There is nothing that you could do that would change that.”

 

“Yeah, but Raven -“ Beast Boy began to protest, but was cut off when Raven forcefully pressed her lips against his. At first, he was too shocked to do anything. Once the initial confusion passed, several options raced through his mind. However only two were dominant, push away and refuse, or just accept it and cross the `I did something stupid' bridge when you get to it. As his mind still weighed his options, his heart made his decision for him. Beast Boy's arms found their way around Raven's waist and he found himself kissing Raven back with so much passion, that the two ended up lying on top of each other on the ground.

 

Outside the tower, the light from the glowing moon breached the cloud barrio in the night sky. A single beam of light shined down through the window walls of Titan's Tower and onto the two teens locked in their passionate embrace.

 

Beast Boy and Raven unwillingly separated and breathed heavily, desperate for air. The young shape shifter gazed down at his dark goddess illuminated by the light from the moon and smiled. “Thank you,” he whispered.

 

“For what?”

 

“For loving me, for caring about me, for telling me the truth, and most of all for stopping me from doing something incredibly stupid.” With that, Beast Boy rolled off of Raven and onto his side, staring deep into her eyes and holding her close to him. That is the position that they fell asleep in, and that is how the rest of the Titans found them the next day.

 

What is love truly?

What is love meant to do?

Does it serve any purpose as all?

Is it what we as humans think it is?

Is it more than what we perceive it to be?

Love in fact serves many purposes.

However, those purposes are different for those that love.

To some, love can only remind them of what is out of their reach.

To others, love is sheer bliss in every way, shape, and form.

Yet, love is both and neither at the same time.

Thus, love is offered to everyone, not just those in the same or parallel clicks.

With love, anything is possible.

Love can bring together two whom are nothing but different.

Love can make it work.

You are never out of another's league with love.

Those who think as much are ignorant fools to the true meaning of love.

But, no one person can completely understand love.

Therefore, we are all fools.

Yet, if you must…

Be a fool in love.

- Drew -

 

The End