Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Other Fan Fiction ❯ Protecting the Lion ❯ Dealing With the Truth ( Chapter 40 )

Chapter Forty

Dealing With the Truth

 

With a classic heart warming film playing in the background, muted to lessen the distraction, two young women lounged on a soft couch.

 

Selphie leaned against one armrest, hugging a yellow star shaped pillow. Her bright green eyes stared in utter fascination as Rinoa divulged the day's events.

 

The raven-haired sorceress had been directed to seek out the consolation of the most cheerful female of their group.

 

In need of a shoulder to cry on, Rinoa had shown up at Selphie's doorstep and practically flung herself into the surprised copper haired girl's arms.

 

After the first sappy movie that Selphie had put on, they had moved on to the store of candies that Selphie willingly collected from all of Squall's fans. Though, many had been sent to her personally. Right after the war ended, they all seemed to have a fan gathering. Only, with Squall constantly in the spotlight and looking the way he did, his following kept growing and with it came yummy treats.

 

Always looking for an excuse to binge on candy, Selphie was glad to play the role of a consoling friend.

 

By the time she put on the second movie, they had been forced to change into pajamas, the elastic lining doing wonders for their plump bellies.

 

The gist of Rinoa's upset state was that she'd come back to Garden to seek Squall's forgiveness and work things out, but Squall had moved on.

 

Naturally hyperactive and currently hopped up on sugar, it took all Selphie's willpower not to jump up and down on the plush red cushions of her couch and demand to hear every detail from Rinoa. Her suspicion about who Squall had moved on to wasn't confirmed until the dark-eyed girl mentioned never know that the two rivals had been involved with each other.

 

At the first mentioning of this, the TV was muted, the pillow grabbed, and green eyes became fixed on the raven-haired girl.

 

“I know that I never knew him like you guys did, but I just never thought he'd be the type of person to… you know,” Rinoa spoke a bit sheepishly, not wanting to insult the Commander or his loyal friend before her. While Selphie was her friend too, she had the feeling that if given a choice between herself and Squall, Selphie Tilmitt would smile and kindly blurt out the Commander's name in answer.

 

Leaning forward a bit, Selphie couldn't contain her interest. “You mean Squall being with Seifer?” she questioned excitedly.

 

Brown doe eyes blinked a couple times, trying to place the green-eyed girl's seemingly unknowing manner. “Yeah,” she spoke at length.

 

“They're together? They told you?” Selphie quickly followed up, positively loving this conversation.

 

“Uh… that's what I told you before,” the raven-haired girl said, giving her own questioning glance.

 

“You told me that Squall had already found someone else, but I don't leave anything to assumption, even if I'm ninety-nine point nine, nine, nine, nine-”

 

“I see,” Rinoa interjected quickly, afraid that all the chocolate had gone to the naturally energetic fighter's head.

 

Sighing, Rinoa slouched back, curling her knees up close and wrapping her arms around them. With a sniffle that foretold of tears building up, the dark eyed girl exclaimed, “I really am sorry about leaving, but I didn't know what else to do.”

 

“You've already apologized like a hundred times, just let it go. You made us worry, but so long as you've learned from it and don't do it again, none of us will hold it against you,” Selphie assured, getting a little tired of hearing the same words over and over again.

 

Giving a small smile, Rinoa spoke softly, “Thank you.” After a moment of staring off blankly, she couldn't help but reaffirm her previously stated admissions. “I really do love him, but I feel like such a fool for never knowing.” Furrowing her brows she turned a hurt gaze towards the cheerful young woman. “I'm not angry, but I wish someone had told me. I don't know whether it would have made a difference, but it was important.”

 

“What?” Selphie questioned, truly not knowing.

 

Not understanding the copper haired girl's response, Rinoa replied as if pointing out the obvious, “That Squall and Seifer were a couple before I knew either of them.” She figured it would have had to be before she knew either man. The summer after she'd dated Seifer, she'd met Squall. The time in between was too short, less than a month.

 

Joyful laughter filled the room. Selphie clutched her bright yellow pillow for dear life as her laughter continued. With the need for air, the sounds became erratic and the girl very nearly fell off the couch. Managing to get a glimpse of a not so amused sorceress, Selphie attempted to explain herself, trying to form the words but only accomplishing a hissing sound as she tried to pronounce Squall's name.

 

Eventually Selphie's fit died out, but not before Rinoa was thoroughly annoyed from it. “Sorry, it's just, you can't possibly believe that,” she said calmly, wiping her eyes.

 

Giving the happy girl an incredulous look, the raven-haired woman considered the implications of there never being any relationship between the two men prior to the war. “When did Seifer come back to Balamb? I haven't heard anything about it in the news.”

 

“Monday,” Selphie replied.

 

“Monday?” Rinoa reiterated in disbelief.

 

With a nod, Selphie fixed curious green eyes on the young girl who claimed to be forlorn with a broken heart. “Quistis recruited him, and he was hired as Squall's bodyguard.”

 

“I know why he's here, and I guess it makes sense… but, Monday? That was only five days ago.” She couldn't believe it.

 

“Well, to tell the truth,” Selphie began to offer as enlightenment and perhaps consolation, “They were never together before, but I think that it makes sense now. They grew up together, and even if they were always fighting, they had to have cared about each other on some level. I mean, just look at what happened when we all thought Seifer had been executed.”

 

Thinking back, Rinoa recalled that day. That had been the turn of the tides for her. She and Seifer had broken up already, but she still cared for the handsome blond. Upon hearing of his death, she was forced to let go, and after that she'd turned to Squall. The whole group had been in the room, and everyone seemed devastated, even though Seifer was a sorceress' knight and the enemy. But, Squall had flipped out, showing strong emotion for the first time since she'd first met him. The Commander had said something about not accepting any of it, and then he'd fled.

 

With a solemn nod, Rinoa was forced to admit that there must have been caring feelings behind Squall's reaction on that day. “He was really upset,” she spoke quietly.

 

“And, Squall only ever comes out of his shell around Seifer. Though, it's usually to shout insults, it's still more than we've ever managed.” Upon seeing the tears swell in dark brown eyes, she quickly added, “But that doesn't mean he doesn't care about us it's just his way, you know?”

 

Sniffling, Rinoa spoke through a small sob, “That's why I left. He just never opened up to me, and I couldn't take it anymore.”

 

“Hey, it's okay, that's just how he is. He keeps everything inside, but he still cares. Squall's probably got more emotion cooped up inside of him than most people I know.”

 

“Now you sound like Seifer,” Rinoa hiccupped out.

 

“Eh?” Selphie intoned.

 

“When they came to see me in Dollet, Seifer was mad at me and started telling me off for leaving. He said something like that before he left,” the dark haired girl explained.

 

Nodding in understanding, Selphie felt compelled to indulge her more curious side rather than simply go on consoling Rinoa without knowing every detail. “So, Squall told you he was with Seifer? Was Seifer there?”

 

Mirthless chuckles sounded from the half sobbing girl. “There?” she spat incredulously. “Oh, he was there alright.” Her tone held seething anger. “I didn't really want to relive it again after telling Quistis, but I suppose I can't feel much worse…”

 

“Relive what?” Selphie prompted, sounding more excited than concerned. Already she was wishing she could have been there to see it for herself, no doubt it was something juicy.

 

“I wasn't told so much as I was shown that they were together,” Rinoa started.

 

`I knew it!' Selphie's mind cheered, really wishing she had a time machine.

 

“I was just waiting for Squall to get back, watching TV… which reminds me, since when did he start watching so many different channels. He only ever-”

 

Before the young sorceress could become sidetracked, Selphie interrupted to quickly put to rest the trivial matter and get back on course, “I did that, we had dinner there and no one wanted to watch the news.”

 

“Oh,” Rinoa sounded, oblivious to the green-eyed girls change in demeanor.

 

“So, what did you see,” Selphie questioned, managing to hide her excitement this time.

 

“Well, they came in together, which I didn't think much of at first, since I knew Seifer was Squall's bodyguard… but then they stopped talking, and I couldn't see them until….” Dark eyebrows wrinkled together as Rinoa's face contorted in an upset manner.

 

“Until what?” Selphie prompted again, losing her patience quickly. She inched forward, eyes glued to the raven-haired girl as she waited.

 

Exasperated with the shocking images that kept replaying in her head, Rinoa blurted out the rest of the traumatizing tale, “Until Seifer came in with Squall in his arms and they were making out like there was no tomorrow.”

 

Green eyes blinked once, and then again. Mouth slightly agape, Selphie resisted every urge to smile like a maniac, knowing it would not please the sad girl at all. Yet, inside she was shouting for joy, feeling glee at the knowledge that Squall and Seifer's relationship was as hot and heavy as she'd suspected.

 

Clearing her throat and biting the inside of her cheek painfully, Selphie took another moment before she felt confident she wouldn't begin smiling. “Yes, well, these things happen,” she supplied as consolation, unable to come up with anything better at the moment.

 

“These things happen?” Rinoa questioned with raised brows. She wondered whether Quistis had been correct in the recommendation of Selphie being the best person to cheer her up.

 

As if realizing that she had a duty to take care of, Selphie snapped from her internal daze of joy. Squall and Seifer might be together, thus creating the most interesting relationship she could ever hope to spy on, but that meant that a friend of hers was out of a boyfriend. As a friend, it was her job to set the muddle and probably scornful mind of the sorceress straight. “You're better off without Squall anyway,” she stated.

It was Rinoa's turn to blink while suppressing emotions that tried to get out. The urge to yell and cry was pushing its way through, but she held back.

 

Beneath the happy go lucky exterior was a truly sharp and intuitive young woman. Selphie was good with analyzing people, and even if she made off handed comments that seemed to lack common sense, it was generally because she'd discovered something and didn't want others to know.

 

Having heard a particularly intriguing story, she'd return the favor and give the true consultation that the broken hearted young woman had come to her for. “Rinoa, how do you know that you were in love with Squall?”

 

Brown eyes widened. “Because I could feel it. I loved him, I still do,” she replied automatically.

 

`Okay,' Selphie began to assess mentally, `She really thinks she's in love with him.'

 

Changing angles, Selphie decided to incur a greater understanding in the young woman's mind. “Do you know the difference between being in love and loving someone?”

 

“I… of course,” Rinoa affirmed. Upon seeing an expectant green-eyed gaze, she elaborated, “You love your family and friends, or a pet like Angelo. Being in love is similar but completely different at the same time. Romance and love come together, creating lust and desire. It's a deeper connection, it's unique.”

 

Once Selphie was sure that raven-haired girl had finished, she commented bluntly, “That sounds like something from a sappy romance novel.” Seeing a slightly hurt look in those dark eyes, she pressed on, “Being in love is never perfect, it just isn't. With deep connections comes vulnerability. With attachments comes weakness. Squall cares about us all, but he doesn't open himself up because he's afraid. He doesn't want to have that vulnerability. And there is no forcing a way through. He's too stubborn to let on just how much he cares, because it might be used against him if other people found out.”

 

“Squall already told me he never loved me,” Rinoa abruptly sobbed, cutting Selphie's speech short.

 

“That's not true,” the suddenly serious young fighter remarked soundly. If she were to wager a guess, she'd say that Squall's exact words had been something like, “Squall said that he'd never told you he loved you.”

 

“How'd you know?” Rinoa questioned, wiping tears that streamed down her face.

 

“Because I know Squall. He's never told any of us that he loves us, but we know the truth. We know he cares about us, and you should too.”

 

“Hyne, you guys all seem to read one another's minds,” the dark haired girl commented with a weak smile.

 

“That's what happens when you've been around each other too long,” Selphie joked. Getting back to her initial point, Selphie continued, “If you were really in love with Squall, then you wouldn't have left.”

 

“No,” Rinoa refuted, “I was in love with him, but it just became too much to handle when he-”

 

“When he didn't return your feelings the way you wanted,” Selphie finished for her. Having struck a nerve, she again earned the dark haired girl's attention. “That's not love, that's control. We all thought that you were perfect for Squall, we thought that he was in love with you too… we thought he was going to change.”

 

Green eyes dimmed at the admission of what they had mistakenly assumed to be Squall's true feelings. Earnestly, she continued to prove her point, “But we were wrong. There were so many things changing at the same time, and we all just thought that what we were seeing in Squall was because of you… but it's more likely that he felt pressured to open up. We kept telling him that he was the only one who could lead us, but then we told him that he would fail miserably if he didn't start being more open.”

 

Light brown eyebrows furrowed as Selphie remembered all the weight each of them had set upon the Commander's shoulders. “It was wrong of us, but we didn't know any better. We thought that if we could shatter the ice, then Squally would come back… but now I realize that Squally never went anywhere.”

 

Rinoa was more than taken aback at the cheerful girl's sudden sobering. Terribly serious, those green eyes seemed to reveal a hidden anguish and everything about the usually happy woman's appearance seemed to become downtrodden. Even the flipped up hair seemed to weigh down and hang a bit limply.

 

“Ah,” Selphie breathed out in exclamation, “Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble, but you can imagine that was a serious mistake.” She held her hands up in a quick gesture, as if to tell the young sorceress not to worry about the ramblings of a hyped up girl. “Anyway, what I meant to get at was, you two were actually miserable together.”

 

“We weren't miserable together,” Rinoa stated.

 

“Rinoa,” the copper haired girl began to chastise, “You said it yourself. You ran away because you were miserable.”

 

“Well,” the dark haired girl began to correct, “I liked being with him, it was just whenever I tried to have a conversation and he'd just stare off. It was like talking to a wall.”

 

“That's called being unhappy,” Selphie refrained from rolling her eyes. “You loved him enough to want to make his life better, no different from what we wanted. But, you weren't in love with him.”

 

“You keep telling me that, but I don't see how I wouldn't know better. I was in love with him,” Rinoa said, becoming a little defensive.

 

“If you were in love,” she said, not pointing out that the other girl was already using the past tense, “then you wouldn't have left.”

 

“How can you say that?” Rinoa asked, her eyes red and her feelings hurt all over again.

 

“I'm in love with Irvine,” Selphie stated proudly.

 

Rinoa blanched, going wide-eyed and staring in disbelief. “But, he's… you guys aren't dating are you?”

 

“No, he's still chasing every piece of tail he can, but I'm still in love with him. I think he knows, and he's trying to change, but I can't force him. It hurts, especially now when he's totally enamored with Squall, but no matter how many times I try, I can't help myself. I mean, he's so cute, and he can be really sweet.”

 

Selphie suddenly felt herself on the brink of tears, suppressed emotions surfacing for the first time since she'd begun to comfort Irvine about his crush on the Commander.

 

“Oh, Selphie!” Rinoa cried, launching across the single cushion that separated them and hugging the copper haired girl. It would seem she wasn't the only one dealing with heartache and troubling feelings.

 

“I'm fine really,” Selphie said, but the tears that blurred her vision told otherwise. Sniffing, she cursed while hugging the young sorceress back, “Stupid Squall, why's he got to be so pretty!”

 

“Stupid Seifer!” Rinoa mimicked, “Why's he got to be an asshole.”

 

Through hysteric tears Selphie exclaimed, “I want those lips!” She was of course referring to the Commander's perfectly bow lips that always seemed to hold a dark pink tinge without makeup.

 

“Your lips are fine,” Rinoa assured, “Though his are surprisingly soft.”

 

“Wah! It's not fair.” Teary green eyes closed as she cried. “I want ice cream!” she suddenly declared.

 

“Me too,” Rinoa agreed.

 

**

 

Curled together warmly, Squall awoke abruptly and gave a small sneeze. His movement must have woken Seifer up, for the blond stiffened and gave his own sneeze.

 

“Somebody's talking about us,” Seifer affirmed, glaring into the darkness.

 

“Idiot,” Squall called the knight, furrowing deeper into the embrace. “Go back to sleep.”

 

“Gladly,” Seifer stated, repositioning his arms around the brunet's lithe form.