Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Aftertaste of Ashes ❯ Part 5 ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Cloud lay awake in the dark absently twining a long strand of red around his fingers and watching the gentle rise and fall of his lover's chest as he slept. They still hadn't talked. Once they moved from the floor to the bed the days without sleep had caught up to the Turk and smacked him down hard into a deep sleep. Cloud felt guilty over the shadows under Reno's eyes and the lines of strain still evident in his face. He traced a careful fingertip over one of those lines and watched it smooth under his touch.

The wind had picked up outside and the temperature dropped, but here, next to his lover, Cloud felt warm and safe and content. Reno had one arm draped loosely around his waist. A deceptive looseness, for every time he did more than simply change position, that arm tightened possessively. It still amazed Cloud, and Zack would be so pissed to hear it, that even after the sex was over Reno still desired his oftentimes surly company. He had to admit that he enjoyed being in Reno's presence. Reno was witty, intelligent, irreverent at times and always attentive to him. Several times he had found Reno watching him with a slight smile on his face and wondered at the reason.

With nothing to distract him Cloud's thoughts turned again to Zack's warning about Hojo. Would he, could he, have cloned himself? Would he have done such a thing only for hubris, or in anticipation of his demise? Technically, none of the clone experiments could be called successful. Due to the Jenova cells in each clone, and in the Remnants, each had fallen victim to the desires and directives of the alien life force. But what about a clone that wasn't infected with the cells? If properly preserved and the personality meticulously sculpted, how closely would it resemble and emulate the drive and ambitions of the original?

The very idea of another incarnation of Hojo made Cloud feel ice cold and nauseous. Surely the planet and the human population couldn't survive another monster such as he was. Was that what Zack had been trying to tell him? Was it to warn him that it was possible, or worse, that it had already happened? Damn, damn! Why hadn't Zack been allowed to be more specific?

His frustration and chaotic thinking had made Cloud's body tense. He felt Reno rub along his back and murmur something soft and meant to be reassuring without truly awakening. Cloud forced himself to breathe slowly and evenly to relax until he felt Reno drift back to deeper sleep.

The SOLDIER program was obsolete. Sephiroth's madness and public outcry had sealed the fate of the project. The Shinra army had been disbanded, the few that had survived Meteor. WRO controlled a public security force that maintained order, but what good would they be against a menace like Hojo when he had been capable of producing altered humans? The was truly only one group of people still in force that had the experience. The Turks. No, oh no.

Cloud shivered and pressed himself closer to Reno, wrapping his arms tightly around the man. Fate couldn't be so cruel, could it? Oh, hell yes, it could and would. Zack would know what Cloud feared the most...losing another loved one. Not this time, he vowed shakily and clutched his lover to him. Zack had tried to warn him, and he would make use of it. Even if it meant openly working with Shinra, he would protect what was his.

"Cloud?" Reno asked sleepily, awakened by Cloud's movements. "Cold?" he chuckled.

"No," Cloud answered. He might have left it at that. Not long ago he would have. Reno deserved a better answer. "I just..." he trailed off uncertainly.

Thankfully, Reno seemed to get it and just tucked Cloud's head under his chin. They lay quietly under the covers until Reno shifted to trace his fingers over Cloud's cheek.

He could see Reno's quick grin in the dim light. Firm, soft lips closed over his mouth, and Cloud willingly gave himself up to the feeling of being wanted. It felt so *good*, so much better than just a fleeting flash of desire. If there wasn't a foreboding of danger Cloud would wonder why he had even tried to hold himself apart. He couldn't lose the man now, not when he realized what he was missing by being aloof.

Cloud poured all his pent up emotion into the kiss until Reno shivered with want. It had only been a few hours, but already Cloud wanted his lover again. He wanted to feel Reno's momentum, his heat, his hardness pushing in deep and making him *feel*. Cloud rolled them until Reno lay atop him. It was everything he could have wanted, the passion, the pleasure and the love. Yes, now that he allowed himself to see it, Cloud could feel the love behind every touch, the gentleness that bespoke fierce and abiding emotion. A cold frisson of fear shook Cloud to the core. To lose that...to live with his heart encased in ice once more, he knew it would break him forever.

Just as suddenly as he recognized it for what it was, Cloud couldn't bear the gentleness, the tender touches, didn't want to get too used to something that could be ripped from him. He struggled against Reno, biting, scratching with his nails to provoke the baser reactions in the man. Frustrated tears glazed his eyes when Reno fought back, refusing to get rough, then pulled away to stare at Cloud's glowing eyes in puzzlement.

"Cloud, why?"

Cloud choked on a gasping cry, arching his back to close the distance between them. He finally used his greater strength against Reno. bucking and thrashing wildly, slapping, scratching and hitting. Reno's fighting instincts came to the fore to bury and blur his heart, and he threw himself into the battle. They tore the bedding apart and rocked the bed frame to creak alarmingly in reaction to their snapping, snarling, frenzied actions.

Reno sank his teeth into Cloud's neck and thrust in harshly, painfully, demanding submission. He was wild with anger and passion. Cloud tilted his head back and took it all, and when he came it whipped through him with a force to rip a howl from his throat. Reno gritted his teeth in a feral grimace and finished, then immediately shoved himself away from Cloud and stumbled to the window to light a cigarette with shaking hands.

He smoked in silence until his breathing settled to normal. All the while Cloud watched him from the shredded blankets and sheets. Livid bruises were already mottling Reno's fair skin and a thin trickle of blood snaked its way downward from teeth marks on his collarbone. Reno jabbed the butt into an ashtray and stalked back to the bed. He pushed Cloud against the pillows with a hand on his shoulder.

"Why?" Reno demanded, residual anger and a dull pain making his eyes shine.

Cloud lowered his gaze. "Because, I can't...I need..."

"You need me to be rough and uncaring? You want me to hurt you?" Reno snorted in disbelief. "You're a fool, Strife."

"No one's making you keep me around," Cloud mumbled, wincing inwardly. Maybe if he ended it now there was a chance...

Reno's short burst of laughter was derisive and cutting. "More of a fool than I thought." He crawled back on the bed and pulled Cloud against him, determinedly embracing a lover who was doing a piss poor job of hiding his fear of something besides the physical. Reno saw through it all.

Cloud trembled and soaked up the warmth of arms that still wanted to hold him. "I'm sorry," he murmured into Reno's chest. A soft sigh ruffled his hair.

"Go to sleep, Cloud," Reno said quietly. He drew the blanket up around them. On the edge of sleep he said, "You going to be here in the morning?"

Cloud took so long answering Reno wasn't sure he would.

"Yes."

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Reno groaned and grumbled as bright sunlight tried to fry his retinas through his closed eyelids. Someone forgot to close the damn blinds last night. Oh, yeah. Me. He shifted and found himself lightly pinned by the pale arm around his chest. Cloud mumbled an incoherent word and nuzzled into Reno's shoulder, eyes shut tightly against the morning light.

Reno was caught somewhere between Aww! and slightly hysterical laughter. Dealing with Cloud was like dealing with a split personality. During the day he was a prickly, remote, standoffish figure who never wanted anyone to touch him. At night he would cuddle like a satisfied milk fed kitten. Or maybe a chocobo chick. Amused by his rambling thoughts, Reno lifted a hand to fluff the blond spikes that were in wild disarray. The movement pulled at the bite on his collarbone and he hissed through his teeth, glancing down to see dried blood around a perfect imprint of Cloud's teeth. No, kitten with damn sharp teeth.

A look at the clock told him Rude would be swinging by in less than an hour. With a muffled groan over protesting muscles, Reno wiggled from under Cloud's arm to leave the bed. A frown touched his lips when Cloud didn't awaken except to scoot over into the warm spot left behind. Any other time Cloud's eyes would have opened as soon as Reno moved. Exhausted. Reno didn't quite buy it.

The hot shower water after at least a few hours of deep sleep made him feel nearly normal again. Reno wrapped a towel around his hips and squeezed the water from his hair. A quick shave, a toothbrush, and some gel and he was as ready as he ever got for work. Cloud still hadn't moved when he went back to the bedroom. Reno put a hand on Cloud's shoulder to shake him then jerked himself back to avoid the fist going for his throat.

"Damn! You're a landmine, Cloud."

Cloud blinked the fuzziness from his eyes. He hadn't slept that deeply in years, and he certainly hadn't heard Reno moving through his morning routine. A prickle of uneasiness started at the base of his neck, and he tried to rub the uncomfortable sensation away.

"What?" was his intelligent response, voice gruff with both sleep and no little embarrassment after seeing Reno's knowing smirk. Although the marks on his own body had faded during the night, Reno looked like he'd been on the losing end of a fight with some lawn equipment.

A pounding on the door interrupted his chagrinned perusal of his lover's exposed neck and chest. Reno gave him a mock salute with his baton.

"Duty calls. Gotta run."

Cloud flopped back in the tangle of blankets and sheets to cover his eyes after Reno slipped out the door. No kiss goodbye? No quick morning groping? Cloud groaned and rubbed both hands over his face. I'm so messed up. An answering laugh ghosted through his mind.

"Shut up, Zack."

Cloud hauled himself out of bed. He needed to go see Rufus Shinra, and he wanted to do it without Reno knowing about it.

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Rude handed over a cup of coffee and slid his shades down his nose to get a better look at his partner's condition. Reno smirked and sipped at the offering.

"You all right?" Rude had to ask.

"Right as rain, partner. Let's get going. I want to be back to what we should have doing in the first place."