Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Defining Love ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

Defining Love

Chapter Four

 

Life actually felt like sunshine and rainbows while Seifer lay on his back, staring up at the night sky. Hardly sentimental about the events that had brought him to be there, he reminisced despite his general loath for dwelling on the past.

 

The gentle wave action was soothing. Placed at the bow, he relaxed while the rocking motion seemed to flow through his body. After a day of work, his muscles were tired, but he'd become used to it after two months. The sky was perfect for watching the stars, so much so that he almost wished he knew what some of the constellations were. Out in the middle of the ocean, there was no one to bother him and little to worry about.

 

“Hey man,” Raijin called out, popping his head up from below deck. “Fu and I are gonna turn in, seeing as we got an early morning, ya know?”

 

“Night,” Seifer said, hardly sparing his close friend the attention it took to comprehend the unnecessary bit of information.

 

“Hey Seifer,” the burly fisherman spoke further, a hesitancy in his tone that implied he had something on his mind but wasn't sure how to vocalize it.

 

Attention successfully caught, Seifer sat up with an exaggerated groan. He could sense Raijin's reluctance to follow through, but he was hardly interested enough to pressure the man.

 

Silent for a long while, the dark haired man eventually gave a gruff sigh before slowly making his way closer. Taking a seat beside the former knight, he scratched the back of his head nervously. “I don't usually do the whole counseling shit, ya know? But, I figure you could understand where I'm coming from, ya know?”

 

Nodding in agreement, Seifer considered that their past together left them with many shared experiences.

 

“The thing is, you know Fu and I have been dating for a while, right?”

 

Scoffing, Seifer pointed out, “It's not that big a boat. I half wonder who's fucking who in your little relationship.”

 

Blushing deeply, the large framed man coughed under the sudden embarrassment he was placed. “You could have said something sooner, ya know? I wouldn't have, I mean, we wouldn't have…”

 

Waving his hand, Seifer indicated that it was of little consequence.

 

“Anyway, the thing is, up until a couple days ago Fu thought she was pregnant.”

 

Eyebrows rising, Seifer drew his attention from the sky and gave it wholly to Raijin. “You shitting me?” he questioned with obvious amazement at what had transpired without his knowledge.

 

“We wanted to be sure, which was why we were gonna go to the doc's office as soon as we docked tomorrow. But, it was a false alarm, ya know?”

 

Suddenly recalling that Raijin was trying to seek counsel on the basis that he could relate to such a situation, the blond frowned. “What's the problem?”

 

“I love Fu, man. I really do. But, when she mentioned having a kid, I was `bout ready to abandon ship, ya know?”

 

Laughing at the imagery that came to mind, Seifer gave the larger man a firm pat on the back. “Fujin would have fished you right back out and put you through a lifetime of hell.”

 

Giving a shiver, Raijin grimaced. “Don't I know it.”

 

“What's your issue here if she's not knocked up?”

 

“It's just, I feel bad about it, ya know? She wasn't too happy about it either, but I was ready to leave her. I know she'd be fine without me, kinda like how Leonhart could manage, ya know? But, I don't know man. I figure you could tell me what you had going through your head when you decided to join us and not stay with the kid.”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about? Did Fujin ride you too hard or something?” Seifer questioned with unmasked annoyance.

 

Opening his mouth to reply, but promptly shutting it again as a confused look overcame him, Raijin stared at his blond buddy. At length, he explained, “I'm talking `bout Leonhart and your kid. I guess it's different `cause you've been gone so long, so it's not really like it's yours, ya know? But, you didn't seem bothered when you came here. I thought you could tell me what you thought about it all.”

 

“What the fuck?” Seifer remarked, now becoming angry at the implications only his subconscious seemed to have worked out. “What the hell do you mean Leonhart and my kid?”

 

Dark brown eyes stared in uncertainty, darting to the entrance leading below deck as if begging for Fujin to come up and tell him he wasn't mistaken. “Your son,” he said, hoping the changed term from `kid' to `son' clarified it all.

 

“I don't have a damn son. When done properly, you can have sex without getting someone pregnant. I guarantee you there are no little Almasys running around.”

 

“Do you really not know or is this that denial shit people talk about?” Raijin returned, his confidence still set behind what he'd known for the past several years.

 

Frowning, Seifer questioned, “Denial?”

 

“About your kid,” Raijin clarified, becoming extremely uncomfortable.

 

“I don't have a fucking kid,” Seifer bit out, completely forgetting about the mention of his rival.

 

“Yes you do,” Raijin stated, his own agitation growing. It was like being told that two plus two didn't equal four, and while he was so positive that it did equal four, Seifer was someone he'd always looked up to and trusted so explicitly that he began to doubt the sum of the numbers.

 

“LORE,” Fujin called out, approaching silently as only she could do.

 

“Well if it isn't the mother who could have been,” Seifer said in greeting.

 

“Yeah, that was the kid's name,” Raijin spoke with a note of relief, as if Fujin had just proved he wasn't going insane.

 

“EXPLAIN,” Fujin bit out once more.

 

Complying as if it were second nature to heed the silver haired woman's every command, Raijin started with, “Lore is the freak baby.”

 

“MORON,” came the next spoken word from the tightlipped woman. Sidling closer, choosing to stand, Fujin leaned against the rail and squinted her single red eye as it adjusted to the darkness.

 

“Well, it is a freak baby, ya know?” Raijin defended, only using the phrase because that's what so many people called it.

 

“Lore?” Seifer spoke in question, both angry and intrigued now that Fujin seemed to back Raijin up. While he might doubt the pair separately, if they were ever in agreement, he'd believe them if they told him the world was flat.

 

“Shit man, I'm sorry,” Raijin continued, stumbling over his words. “I thought you knew. I didn't say nothin' sooner `cause it seemed like it mighta been a sore topic.”

 

“For fuck's sake, just give me the basics so I'm not lost,” the ex-knight ground out, jaw clenching in annoyance. He hated not knowing exactly what was going on. It was the control freak inside him.

 

“Since you went to see Leonhart like we suggested, we figured you already knew everything. It's not really a secret I guess.”

 

Running a hand over his stubble-ridden jaw, Seifer growled out his impatience.

 

Rubbing the back of his neck, Raijin explained, “With a little help from Ultimecia, you knocked Leonhart up. It was all hush-hush for months, but he was like a figurehead and still Commander, so eventually it leaked. Man, even I was embarrassed for him, seeing those pictures of him like he'd eaten a watermelon or something.”

 

“MORON,” Fujin intoned once more, shaking her head at the idiotic description of a pregnant person.

 

Horrified for a fleeting moment, knowing that there were countless instances when he'd been under Ultimecia's complete control and couldn't even remember large chunks of time, Seifer shook his head. It was utterly ridiculous. “If this is your idea of revenge over the fish under your mattress, it's a pathetic try.” Standing up, he glared down at the dark haired man.

 

“It's not a joke. I'm totally serious, ya know?”

 

“You can't be serious when tell me that Leonhart was knocked up with my kid,” Seifer hissed out, finding no humor in the gag whatsoever.

 

Unable to figure a more believable way to word it, Raijin looked to Fujin for help. When the woman did nothing but shrug, he mimicked her and gave up.

 

“You two assholes must have cabin fever to think that shit is funny,” Seifer commented as he stalked away.

 

**

 

An entire night of tossing restlessly left Seifer with some frightening conclusions. It had been a very long process of putting facts into place.

 

First, his posse had a very good sense of humor, one that was basically an extension of his own. The conversation they'd had was not a joke, which led him to consider any serious illnesses they might have suffered from. Cabin fever had been top of the list, but they were more weathered for the seas than himself and he felt perfectly sound of mind.

 

His thoughtful focus centered on the odd vibes he'd detected from every member of the merry bunch of do-gooders. The cowboy and messenger girl had obviously been withholding something from him, and Leonhart had been particularly weird for the entirety of his short visit.

 

He needed proof. He needed to see pictures or documentation of the event. He needed to watch as a doctor performed a blood test twice over to make sure the results could be trusted. He needed to see a psychiatrist to make sure he hadn't gone insane and to make sure that if it wasn't him, then that everyone else hadn't lost it.

 

Muttering darkly to himself, he cast his blanket aside and gave up on sleep after five hours of remaining in bed. Sadly, even the peace of sipping a cup of coffee while watching the sunrise brought him no answers or comfort.

 

“You okay man?” Raijin questioned, cautiously approaching. Stifling a yawn, dark brown eyes watering, he gazed at his friend in concern. Silence was not something often associated with Seifer, so when no reply came, his concern increased.

 

“This isn't exactly something I can believe,” Seifer eventually spoke, settling on the simple statement to express his growing distress. He was becoming upset with the lack of confidence he felt, hating to ever feel unsure of himself or anything else.

 

“I know what you mean,” Raijin assured. “I was pretty surprised too. I've never met the kid or nothin', so I didn't really believe it at first, ya know?”

 

“Then why do you believe it now?”

 

“Well, there were the pictures in the paper. It was pretty hard to deny what you could see, ya know?”

 

“Pictures can be doctored. They might have been fakes. What real proof do you have?” Seifer returned logically.

 

“I thought that too at first. Then after there was nothing else on the news but Leonhart, he resigned from being a commander and just disappeared. I think that's when I really started to believe it. He was like the prodigy leader or something. For him to up and leave meant that he was really having a kid and that it wasn't something he could do when everyone suddenly knew.”

 

Seifer just scoffed, but cast a glance behind to indicate he was still listening. Though his instinct was to assume the resigning stunt had just been Leonhart cracking under all the pressure, he was willing to hear more.

 

Sighing, Raijin moved closer, no longer afraid the blond would lash out and flip him over the rail. He might have been stronger with brute strength, but he didn't doubt that Seifer could beat him up without breaking a sweat. “The next thing anyone knew, he had a baby with him and the watermelon was gone,” the larger man explained.

 

With a dry laugh at the burly man's continued reference to a watermelon, Seifer concluded that he had a few things to do when they docked in a couple hours. “He never said anything,” the blond murmured, his expression hardening.

 

“Who?” Raijin questioned, already figuring the who part, but not wanting to leave any room for guessing after going two months on the assumption that Seifer already knew everything.

 

“Leonhart,” the ex-knight answered. “I was at his place and I saw the kid. What was his name?”

 

Thinking a moment, Raijin recalled what Fujin had said last night. “Lore,” he answered.

 

“That's a stupid name,” Seifer commented. “Lore,” he mumbled to himself, attempting to think for the first time that it was the name of his son.

 

Ambivalent about the name, Raijin just shrugged noncommittally.

 

“I was there for maybe fifteen minutes, give or take. The cowboy was there, giving me hell about all these rules. I was sick to death of those idiots all walking around like they held weekly orgies and decided to have babies together.”

 

“That's sick man,” Raijin commented, referring to the ex-knight's perception of it than the actual underlying issue about mercenaries starting families.

 

“The kid had really dark hair like Rinoa. I just assumed it was her spawn after hearing how she jumped into bed with Leonhart, pitying the virgin hero and all. I figured she'd gotten scared and left the snot nosed brat with him, knowing the pussy wouldn't complain.”

 

“Do you really hate him?” Raijin questioned, hearing the utter distain in the blond's voice and wondering what Leonhart had done that was so wrong. As a former member of the disciplinary committee, he'd done his fair share of bullying to the pretty boy hero, but he'd never really disliked the guy. It seemed kind of harsh that Seifer was still so hateful after all that had happened.

 

“Of course I hate him,” Seifer hissed. “More so after meeting with him last time. He's such a little freak now. The kid's bedroom had lions everywhere and he was acting like such a pansy with the little shit, making hot cocoa and acting all soft.”

 

“Seifer, he's like the kid's mom, what do you expect? That's what parents do, ya know?” Raijin defended, mildly upset on Leonhart's behalf at the unjust evaluation.

 

“The boy was crying like a little baby. There's no way it can be mine,” the blond stated soundly. As a sudden thought occurred to him, Seifer barked with laughter. “Is Leonhart a girl now?”

 

Frowning, Raijin shook his head. “I don't know man. I never saw any proof to say he was a guy in the first place.”

 

Laughing loudly, Seifer was quite amused at the joke, proof that his friends really did have a good sense of humor. It was one matter if Leonhart had become as much an outward expression of the freak within by becoming pregnant, but it was another to consider that it was also his kid. He refused to believe that the boy he'd seen in the apartment was related to him.

 

**

 

“Hey doc,” Seifer called out, wading through the sea of sick invalids, most of whom were underclassmen that deserved the injuries they had.

 

“Mr. Almasy,” Kadowaki spoke with surprise, looking up from her chart. “I'm curious as to how you passed through the gates without sounding any alarms, or should I expect a dozen more patients?”

 

“Security must be lax these days,” the blond commented, smirking at the trouble he'd be happy to stir up by being seen on the way out. It probably wouldn't sit well with Xu or Kramer if Ultimecia's knight casually waltzed out of Balamb Garden after managing to get in unnoticed.

 

“As you can see, I have more patients than I know what to do with, so please take a seat and wait your turn.”

 

Shaking his head and striding closer, Seifer explained, “Seniority rules doc. I got years on all these newbies, so let's talk some place private.”

 

Scowling at the arrogant ex-knight, the older woman huffed indignantly. “I might be getting old, but I've hardly become susceptible to your bullying. Wait in my office or out here. Either way, you have about twenty patients ahead of you.” Calling the next name on her list, she turned and walked back into the examination room.

 

Not one to give up so easily or go down without a fight, Seifer tailed the woman and made certain to stay as close as possible. He gave her credit for managing nearly half the number of patients she'd set out to treat before cracking. It was rather difficult to bandage and heal properly with someone of his stature loomed over her shoulder the whole time.

 

“Goodness gracious Mr. Almasy, must you be so obstinate?”

 

“It's gotten me this far in life,” the former knight said with a grin.

 

Closing the door after treating a first year cadet with lacerations from the whipping arms of a Grat, she turned about with a huff. With just the two of them in the room, she set her hands on her hips and stared sternly at the young man. After dealing with him since the first day he'd arrived at Garden, she thought she'd become accustom to it all.

 

“Recently, I was informed of Leonhart's supposed pregnancy. What can you tell about it?” Seifer spoke, getting right to the point.

 

Eyebrows shooting high in obvious surprise, the graying doctor of fifty-four stared for a long moment. Caught off guard for only a moment, her expression quickly changed to that of a stern scowl. Stalking forward, her accusing index finger poked the knight's chest in such a manner that the large fighter started taking several steps back in retreat. “Am I to understand you're only asking such a question now?” she reprimanded.

 

Rubbing his chest, Seifer sent her a withering glare. “Jeez, you're lucky I draw the line at beating up old ladies, sixty years younger and you'd be in trouble.”

 

Unfazed by the insult, Kadowaki chastised, “Mr. Almasy, you have returned to us safely for which I thank Hyne every day. However, I have half a mind to send you right back if you have honestly spent nearly three months without so much as spending time with your son.”

 

“Well if I'd known it was my son, maybe I would have,” Seifer shot back heatedly. In truth, he probably wouldn't have, but as it turned out he had a decent defense working for him. “No one thought to tell me. If you expected me to have guessed on my own then you're delusional.”

 

Shoulders slouching, Kadowaki's lips pressed tightly together. With a heavy sigh, she shook her head. “That young man is the most stubborn piece of work I've ever seen,” she commented to herself.

 

“Proof woman, I want proof,” Seifer bit out impatiently. No one seemed capable of just getting to the point anymore.

 

“The proof is a six year old little boy named Lore, Mr. Almasy. What more proof would you like?”

 

Rolling his eyes, Seifer pointed out, “I want proof that a man had the damn thing, and irrefutable proof that it shares my DNA.”

 

“A child is not a thing, Mr. Almasy, and if you continue to refer to Lore as such, you'll find that I will not be as appeasing to your bossy whims.”

 

Running a frustrated hand through slicked back hair, Seifer bit out, “Just tell me what I want to know. How did it happen? When did it happen? Why wasn't I told?”

 

“Take a seat,” the doctor ordered, gesturing to the padded examination table while she pulled a stool up. Folding her hands in her lap, she waited for the ex-knight to comply before speaking. “While I aided in much of the study Dr. Odine did, I'm afraid a lot is still unknown to even a genius such as him.”

 

Seifer pulled a disbelieving face at hearing the quack madman referred to as a genius.

 

Firmly believing that Seifer deserved to know the details, Kadowaki was content to explain what the former commander had chosen to keep secret. “Squall suspects the impregnation occurred during his capture after a failed mission. I believe it was while Edea Kramer was still possessed.”

 

“D-district prison,” Seifer spoke in remembrance.

 

“Yes,” Kadowaki said with a nod, keenly searching for some sign that the blond remembered how it happened. Squall adamantly protested knowing anything about it, and considering the former knight came to her for answers, she had to assume he truly knew nothing himself.

 

Swallowing thickly, feeling a touch sick, Seifer forced the idea that he might have had sex with Leonhart out of his head. While he couldn't really piece together a scenario that involved a child forming between them without one of them getting screwed, he refused to believe that was the case.

 

Recalling the day Squall had first sought her help, Kadowaki gave a wry smile. “He was so calm about it all. I think he suspected something before the war was even over. By the time he came to me he was already into his second trimester.”

 

“His what?” Seifer questioned, oddly not caring that he was being giving the extended version of the story.

 

“He was already three months along. He was beginning to show, but he hid it well. No one knew,” the older woman explained. “He came right in to me and sat down. I think the biggest trouble he had was trying to explain it so I wouldn't think he'd gone insane.” Chuckling at the memory of the pale brunet sighing several times before finally speaking up, she regarded the blond knight solemnly. “He remained here for another few weeks, but his luck ran out and reporters and photographers happened to be there. Do you know, he asked me if there was any sort of disease or tumor that could have accounted for it?”

 

“Denial?” Seifer muttered in question.

 

“No, he just wanted me to sign off on some false medical report that explained the growth as something other than pregnancy. He wanted to give the newspapers something else to categorize it as because he was determined to remain Commander.”

 

Seifer laughed abruptly, imagining that Raijin might have suggested diagnosing it as a watermelon grown from a swallowed seed.

 

“It's hardly a laughing matter,” Kadowaki reprimanded. “He was forced to resign to escape. It was terribly sad for all of us.”

 

“Sad?” Seifer scoffed incredulously.

 

“The look in his eyes,” the doctor explained. “It was like he thought he deserved it, the burden that sorceress placed on him. He just accepted it like it was his fate to go through such an ordeal.”

 

“Women have babies all the time. What exactly is such an ordeal about it?”

 

“Mr. Almasy, think of the mindset it would create. I can't imagine any normal man not feeling utterly humiliated. The rumors that spread were vicious. No one seemed to care about what he'd done in the war, only that he was pregnant. Some of those headlines brought tears to my eyes.” Frowning, she wrung her hands at the lingering emotions she felt. “They painted him as some freak. Can you imagine?”

 

Not replying, Seifer felt a small pang of guilt.

 

“Some people jumped to conclusions, assuming he must have been involved with another man. I mean it was all just ridiculous and mean spirited.” While she wouldn't speak about it so openly, in her head she understood the intricacies of what happened. Being in a homosexual relationship would have been bad enough for the commander, but to top it all off, the world clearly assumed what role he would have taken on in such a relationship. It just crushed his reputation and he had too much to deal with to try and salvage anything.

 

“I thought I was the father,” he pointed out, itching to get the part where he received proof that he was indeed the child's father. Gay or straight, none of it really mattered for the average person, but he could see the amusing headlines that declared Leonhart as some screw boy commander that loved it up the ass.

 

“You are, but no one else knows that,” Kadowaki assured.

 

Easily giving examples that refuted the woman's statement, he said, “Raijin and Fujin know. Kinneas and Tilmitt know.”

 

“They're friends,” the doctor excused as if it were common sense. “After seven years, you can't blame Squall for wanting to honor your name and admit that your bloodline was carried on.”

 

Jade green eyes widened in surprise. Honor his name? What the hell? While Leonhart was hardly the type to commemorate his death, he'd sooner expect to be honored in the form of his gravestone being pissed on.

 

“In any case, it was a strange pregnancy,” Kadowaki continued. “Physically, Squall shouldn't have been capable of carrying a child. There was no womb and nothing of a proper birth canal, just a growing fetus that seemed to exist outside the laws of rationality.”

 

Cringing at the concept of a birth canal, Seifer was on guard to stop the doctor from speaking about the actual birth if she began to go that direction. “So, how'd the conception happen? You must have theories.”

 

Shoulders slouching, the doctor stated, “Sorcery is the only explanation. It's hardly an understandable one, but it's all we've been able to come up with.”

 

“And the paternity tests. How are you certain it's mine?” Seifer felt an odd emotion spark inside of him, referring to the kid as his own for the first time. He hated kids, all kids. Still, he needed to find the answers to everything.

 

“At first it simply made the most sense. Figuring out the motive for what Ultimecia did was obviously essential. You were her knight, so it stands to reason that she would have used you in the process. Squall suspected it was an attempt at creating a better knight, one she could raise and control completely.”

 

With a small grunt of agreement, Seifer considered the theory. He had begun to fight her control at times, which could very well have made him an unsuitable knight. However, there was one major flaw in it. “Why have Leonhart carry the baby?” he questioned.

 

Smiling, the older woman regarded the ex-knight with curiosity. “That's exactly what Squall kept wondering. The truth is, we just don't know.”

 

Shivering at the thought of Ultimecia impregnating him, he shifted uncomfortably. He'd just leave well enough alone and decide it was because Squall looked like a woman.

 

Taking her glasses off and letting them hang from her neck, Kadowaki mentally sorted through the long list of questions and answers surrounding the affair. “We ran blood tests to figure the father or perhaps mother out. There was fear that it was Ultimecia's child, implanted in Squall because she'd foreseen her demise. There was also the chance that Squall was the only parent or that the child was a clone of some sort.”

 

Seifer stared pensively at the floor below. While he would have liked to be told less about Squall's role in it all, he couldn't deny that it was impossible to not listen. In a strange way it was entirely fascinating.

 

“You were one of the top names on the list of possible parents. We tested all you boys, seeing as how you were all in contact with Ultimecia.”

 

Seifer frowned, suddenly recalling the image of Leonhart and the cowboy together before he'd informed the two of his presence. He wasn't sure why he thought back to that brief instance, but he did.

 

“If you want further proof, I can perform the tests again. I admit that I have been quite the skeptic in all of this. When I last came to see you, the blood I drew served more than one purpose. There was always the slight possibility that the blood used from the sample you left right before your field test seven years ago was faulty in some way.”

 

“Are you accusing me of switching blood with someone?” Seifer questioned, not exactly insulted if that were indeed the accusation.

 

“It happens, even as mix ups in the lab,” Kadowaki returned sensibly. “It was also a fairly old sample.”

 

Sighing in defeat, Seifer felt his denial shatter. He couldn't very well wait for the entire world to tell him the same thing over and over again before finally believing it. “Thanks doc,” he said, hopping from his place on the table.

 

Standing with her clipboard held close, the older woman questioned, “Would you like to redo the tests, or perhaps have a look at the some of the files?”

 

“No, it's fine. I don't see why anyone would make this shit up, so I'll have to assume it's true.”

 

Smiling brightly, feeling as though things had been set straight, Kadowaki nodded her understanding. “Lore is such a dear. I hate to admit it, but I had my doubts about Squall raising that child. But since the day his son was born, Squall has been nothing short of all the family that boy will ever need.”

 

Walking to the door, Seifer chose not to comment on the last bit of information. He had an old rival to see and a bone to pick.

 

TBC…