Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Drenched by the Moonlight ❯ Contemplating Suicide ( Chapter 4 )

Do you think missorted emotions and drinking make a good combination? No! Read this and find out why. Squall will stop grieving after this chapter. Yay! Back to his cold self. Well, until he finds love again. Okay, and the warning from the last chapter still stands. This will be the suicidal chapter since my mother was acting an ass when I was writing the other. Oh, and don't mind the OCC Squally boy. He'll be better next chapter.

 

: Writes a hate letter to Square-Enix telling them to chuck over the papers for the Final Fantasy series: <<<

Me: This obviously means I don't own them!

 

Random voice: No, you don't! Now on with the story!!

*---------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------*

Squall sat stiffly surrounded by his friends. The lunch he'd been invited to was going painfully slow, and it was extremely awkward. He found himself staring the clock waiting for this little “gathering” to be over with.

 

“Squall, are you okay?”

 

Squall turned to Irvine, and gave him an assuring nod. He looked down to his steaming plate of fries. He couldn't eat. His appetite was just not with him anymore.

 

“Yo, Squall. Are you going to eat those fries?” Zell called from across the table, his mouth already stuffed with his own fries.

 

“Sure. Why not.” Squall breathed, trying his damndest to refrain from being rude.

 

“You don't seem to be enjoying yourself very much,” Quistis said, poking at her salad. She bought a small amount of salad to her lips. After she swallowed her food she started again. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah. I'm fine. Look guys. I appreciate the invite to lunch. But I'm not really hungry,” Squall said standing. He reached in his pocket, removing his wallet.

 

“No. It's okay Squall. I ate the fries, you can go ahead.” Zell motioned him to put his wallet away. Squall nodded his head, and waved to his friends before leaving.

 

*---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------*

 

Squall sat at the small table in his dorm. Only a tattered magazine and an almost empty bottle of Gin occupied the small table. Squall lifted a glass to his lips, letting the tainted liquid slid from the glass into his awaiting mouth. Squall slammed the empty glass back onto the table, and clenched his eyes shut. With every shot of the tainted liquid, his memories of her death slowly left his mind. But there was one thing he wouldn't forget.

 

---------------Flashback-------------

 

“Squall, you're such an ass!” Rinoa screamed. She pulled a few of her things from the closet the couple shared, and threw them into a suitcase.

 

“I'm an ass? You're the one being stupid! You're getting upset over nothing!”

 

“You plotting against me with my father is not nothing, Squall! I can't believe you decided to ship me away from Garden.”

 

Squall lowered his voice. He'd learned long ago that yelling wouldn't result in anything but more yelling and frankly; he didn't have the energy for it.

 

“It's for your own good,” Squall stated calmly. “I'm doing it for you. For us.”

 

“Now you really sound like him,” Rinoa said, narrowing her brown eyes. “After this last mission, I'm done with you. I don't ever want to see you again.”

 

Squall narrowed his steel gray eyes at her. His glare softened soon after, as he noticed Rinoa had begun to cry. He approached her, and placed his hands on her shoulder.

 

“I'm sorry. I just can't believe you would do that. Why?” She looked up into Squall's eyes with her own tear drenched ones.

 

“I'm just looking out for your best interests. Anytime you come to garden you're depressed and distant. Something about this place upsets you. But when I ask you what's wrong, you just dismiss me. I figured that maybe if you left the garden for a few days you'd feel better. Like I said before, I was doing it for you,” Squall said caressing her shoulders.

 

“Squall. I know I've never asked before. But would you mine going out training with me? I think it'll help blow off a little steam. For you and me both.” She gave him her most dazzling smile, as if in a pleading manner.

 

He smiled at her, and leaned giving her a loving kiss. “Okay. I'll grab my sword and meet you at the training center.”

 

“Training center? I was hoping we could go out this time. Once we're done we can stop by Ma Dincht's place.”

 

“Umm…sure.”

 

*---------------------------------------------------------------- -----*

 

Squall and Rinoa walked out of garden to train. Once they were outside they were immediately in battle with a group of Bandersnatchs. Squall ran immediately at the Bandersnatch bringing the Gunblade directly over the first beast's head, leaving its body in two pieces.

 

“Squall, behind you!” Rinoa yelled. She pulled a trigger on her wrist, sending her Rising Sun directly at the beast. The beast dodged, launching his attack on Squall. A confuse spell.

 

Squall grabbed his head as his vision became obscure. The only thing he could hear was the growling, and scratching of the Bandersnatchs, and his mind screaming at him to do something. He opened his eyes, but a translucent fog covered them.

 

“Squall, help!” Rinoa called to him. She couldn't attack the Bandersnatchs from such a close range.

 

“I-I can't.” Squall muttered, but his words were incoherent to anyone other them himself.

 

“Squall, what is wrong with you?” Rinoa called, fighting the Bandersnatchs off with punches, and kicks. “I need your help here!”

 

“W-what?”

 

“Help!”

 

Squall lifted the Gunblade high above his head, and charged at the direction of the voices. He bought the Gunblade down, intending to hit a Bandersnatch but when he heard an all to familiar scream, he dropped the Gunblade and stopped in his tracks. He felt the ground for Rinoa, as his hand was welcomed with a warm sensation. His vision started to clear, and then he saw her. Her mouth agape, her chest had a large wound on it. It was split so wide; you could see the white meat. Squall wasted no time, before he scooped her up into his arms and ran with her to the garden. His forgotten Gunblade laid bloodstained as the rain started to drop slowly from the sky as if crying over this fallen angel's inevitable death.

 

*---------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------*

Squall quickly opened his eyes, shaking himself from the violent daydream. The glass he held was now cracked in his hand, and blood dripped down his fingertips from the way he'd squeezed the broken glass. He walked slowly to the bathroom, letting his blood drip on the cream colored carpet.

He made it to the bathroom and stuck his hand in the sink, running it under cold water. He looked at himself in the mirror and felt a strange feeling wash over him. Self pity. Something he'd never felt before in his life. This new feeling felt somewhat inviting, and he let himself wallow in it.

 

After he'd removed all the glass, and his hand ceased bleeding, Squall opened the medicine cabinet, hoping to find some bandages. There were none. Something in the medicine cabinet caught his eye. Rinoa's pills. She'd gotten them shortly after they defeated Ultemecia for her re-occurring headaches. He held the pills in his good hand, letting the bottle roll around. He held them tightly, and walked back to the table where his bottle of Gin resided. He grabbed the Gin bottle with his injured hand, and walked back to his bed.

 

I could leave this world behind and rejoin her. But I'd be a fool. I always said I wanted to leave an impression on this world before I died. But what kind of impression would I leave with suicide?

 

Squall laughed to himself.

 

“What the hell are you thinking, Leonhart?” He dismissed the bottle, and the Gin, leaving it to lie on his nightstand. He laid down to rest his eyes, but he was awakened soon after by a knock at his door. He climbed from bed, groaning sleepily.

 

“Who is it?” Squall called, trying to wipe the crust from his eyelids.

 

“Umm.It's Quistis. I thought I'd come see how you were.”

 

Squall sighed softly, and opened the door. Conjuring up the best smile he could. Which came out weakly.

 

“Hi, Quistis.” What the fuck are you doing here, Trepe?

 

“May I come in? I'd like to have a word with you.” Just let me in, Squall.

 

“Is this an important matter, or is this just conversation?” Why don't you go away!

 

“Both. You could say.” Just let me in, you ass! I'm here to help you, you know.

 

“Okay.” Squall said, stepping aside to allow her passage. Make this quick, Trepe. I have sleep to be catching up on, if you don't mind. Not to mention I have to continue contemplating suicide. Squall sighed inwardly. You really are an ass, Leonhart.

*---------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------*

I'm stopping it here, because I didn't want it to be too long. I'll be updating soon enough though. Hey, who can believe I wrote all of this in one day? I can, because I did it! Please tell me if it sucks or not. Thank you.