Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ FFVIII Journals ❯ Quistis Entry ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer - I don't own FFVIII or the characters in the game, Squaresoft does. I have no money and anything I own is not worth having. This story is fiction.

Warning - NA

Rating - R, it will heat up later on

This will be yaoi folks but for now it is shounen-ai, boys liking boys

Dedication - To Shaeric Draconis, I luv you very much!

Fantasy 101 and Crimson thank you for your support. I will give you two the option to pick the next entries, Squall, Zell whoever, I will let you decide.

^__~ ^__^

Quistis Trepe Journal

[Tuesday 26th May XXXX Balamb Garden 0100 hours]

[Journal entry # 1]

I have been made to keep a journal and enter data every day; this was straight from Dr Kadowaki with the hard word from both Cid and Edea. Not only myself but the whole gang and that included Seifer.

The defeat of Sorceress Ultimecia took its toll on us all and I hope we never experience something like that again. Time compression was no better, because it changed our thoughts and emotions and we all came out of there different, looking at each other through different eyes.

We grew up and became adults though our bodies remained years younger. I know I have changed and I see things a lot clearer now.

There was a time that I was in love with Squall, and when Irvine helped us to remember who we really were, and we imagined ourselves on the beach outside of the orphanage I admitted to the others that I only felt like a bigger sister to him…..to them all.

I think that is why when Squall refused to take over the job of being headmaster they picked me to be headmistress.

I wanted to laugh, I had failed as an instructor but deep inside I knew that I was not the same Quistis who was a failure; that I had grown and I was older than the rest of the gang, if not in years but in mind.

It is just as well because when Seifer returned to Garden, I had a very big decision to make but with the help of a certain petite blonde and his impulsive nature he made my decision easy for me.

I knew that I would have kept Seifer here at Garden because believe it or not I was only too happy to see him back. I hate change of any kind and even if Seifer is an arrogant bastard with a smart mouth, he is still part of the gang. Our gang.

The only outsider I consider out of us all is Rinoa. I may have said she was welcomed but I had buried my true feelings so that they would not surface for anyone to see, not even myself.

I like Rinoa but she is not part of our gang. She was just Squall's girlfriend as far as I was concerned. Now she isn't even that anymore, Squall had told her that he loved her, but wasn't in love with her.

Surprisingly he told me this and it only cemented our friendship more. We are both serious, only I am a little freer with my emotions then he is, but you want to know something, I don't really want him to change.

Squall wouldn't be Squall anymore if he was to change. I admit he did try for Rinoa, and she almost won but I always saw a shadow in his eyes, the shadow of someone else lurking within him, someone he wasn't ready to face.

Perhaps one day he will, I only hope that whoever the person is….learns to appreciate and accept Squall for who he is.

Anyway enough about the commander, I have more important things on my mind.

The missions.

Esthar and the Centra Ruins. I am not sure what the situation is, that is why I have dispatched two teams to investigate.

Cid advised that I send the second team to the orphanage to get their bearings, and then Edea would be able to give them a little more information about the events that have been unfolding within the Centra Ruins.

Whatever is happening it doesn't feel good, I have this feeling of dread running up and down my spine. This is a sure sign that something big is about to happen.

Hyne only knows that it has only been six months since the downfall of Ultimecia, and the last thing my gang needed was more fighting. What we all need is a good long holiday but it seems fate has more in store for us.

The first team will be heading towards President Laguna's Palace and I am definitely in the dark with this one, but President Laguna was adamant. Even with the secure line he would not divulge any information concerning the mission.

He specifically asked for Squall and Zell not really caring who the third person was. He is paying for the mission so who am I to argue with him. I chose Selphie.

*smirk*

Squall and two hypo's, no I'm not a sadist but Squall said he couldn't work with Rinoa and as for putting Seifer with Squall…..well I am not blind to the rivalry between the two gunblade warriors. Especially where Zell is concerned.

I'm not sure if it is friendship they want from him or something else and quite frankly I just don't want to go there. I have enough to deal with. They are big boys so they can deal with it……enough said!

Irvine is in charge of the second team, I, like Squall still need to trust Seifer. He has to prove himself first, we have accepted him back but he has to earn our trust now. I have complete faith that he will.

Well I need to sign off; I have a lot of work on my desk that needs to be done and Xu will drag me out of the office in half an hour. She is too good to me and makes sure I don't over do it.

See you tomorrow Journal and hopefully I will have more news on what is happening at Esthar and the Centra Ruins.

[Quistis Trepe signing out at 0120 hours]