Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ FFVIII Journals ❯ Zell's Entry ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer - I don't own FFVIII or the characters in the game. I have no money and anything I own is not worth having. This story is fiction.

Warning - male + male thoughts

Rating - R, it will heat up later on

This will be yaoi folks but for now it is shounen-ai, boys liking boys - Zell + Nida for now

Dedication - To Shaeric Draconis, I luv you very much! Crimson howdy pardner. Hey Chibi Enu thanks for the luvly review. I had made my mind up not to post anymore of this here at MediaMiner because of no reviews, and Shae and Red knew that I was posting it too fanfiction.net. But because you were so nice with your review I decided to post them here as well, I think I'm up to journal entry 10, I will post one each day for now. Later!

^__~

Zell Dincht's Journal

[Monday 25th May XXXX Balamb Garden 2300 hours]

[Journal entry # 1]

Hey journal you have ta forgive me but I am excited, and this usually happens when I'm goin' on a mission. The adrenaline just rushes through me and it's like a sugar high, *chuckles* that usually means I talk too much but I just give everybody my innocent look. I tell ya baby it gets them every time. I can almost get away with murder, not that I would ever do anything like that.

I know everyone thinks I am stupid and I talk too much and that my temper gets the better of me. They also think I'm innocent and inexperienced with the way of the world but I will let you into a secret Jo, yeah journal sounds too formal so Jo is what I'm callin' ya.

But back to my secret, I am Bi and the thing is I have been secretly doin' it, you know, having sex, *chuckles* with Nida no less. He is quiet but he is very attractive with a well toned body to almost match mine and if I ever saw someone born to be uke, bottom, Nida was definitely it.

I am the seme in the relationship but there is no love between us, we both have sexual urges and I got tired of the ol' hand jobs, it wasn't enough. I am full of energy and it takes a lot to burn it out of my system and sex takes a lot out of ya if you find the right partner.

Nida is okay but we have both been honest with each other, except I haven't told him everything I feel, no some thing's I keep to myself. There is a certain someone that we are both attracted too, and though I don't want to hurt Nida, I can't tell him that I am strongly attracted to my friend Squall as well.

When I first worked with Squall, I didn't really like him, I respected him but other than that I thought he was a prick with a stick shoved up his ass. As we travelled together on our mission's, because it ended up bein' one after the other, I saw beneath the mask Squall baby efficiently puts in place.

I saw him starting to care but what made me really look at him, was an incident in D-District Prison.....When he rushed up to save me from being killed, executed. I had no doubts in my head to what was about to happen to me…..

I saw my life flash before my very eyes and it made me think on the things I hadn't experienced yet, and I promised myself that if by some miracle I got outta there alive, I was going to live life to the fullest and try, taste everything…..then Squall jumped from out of nowhere and I was mesmerised……

It was the first time I really looked at him, and what I saw made me catch my breath.

Squall was pale beauty with stormy grey eyes. His strength and courage shone through with the anger I saw on his face when he killed the idiot guard who was about to execute me. I won't say what happened after that, I kinda made an ass of myself but I couldn' help it….he mesmerised me…..

After that I knew what I wanted and I know what I'm feeling isn't love, not yet anyway, but I am strongly attracted to him soooo…..

I have been trying to attract Squall to myself. Communal showers mean anything. *chuckles* Yeah I know, devious but it had to start somewhere, tho I always keep my innocent expression in place because it is the only thing that keeps others from getting too mad at me.

I will tell you something else; he would be the only male that I would ever let near my virgin ass. I want him to take me, stretch me, fill me, and violate me.

For Squall I would be uke!

But I will take things nice and slow; don't want to frighten him away, he has a lot of pride, he isn' the Lion for nothing.

Anyway back to the mission, I feel sorry for Squall because on this mission he is stuck not only with me but with Selphie as well. Sometimes I think Quisty has a warped sense of humour, she put the liveliest pair with the most stoic male in Balamb, my friend Squall.

I will hav' to sign of soon, we leave first thing in the morning, 0500 hours to be exact and we are heading for Esthar on the Ragnarok. This should be interesting; I mean Squall and Laguna, father and son.

Things will work out in the end, Laguna is full of life and passion and….alright he can be an ass at times….but I like him.

Squall……well he will have to get used to it.

As for my friend Irvy and his team, they leave in half an hour towards the Matrons orphanage, I'm not sure what is happening but it doesn't feel good just like ours. We will know the full story when we arrive at Esthar.

Irvy has Rinoa and Seifer on his team…….Seifer…..I like him and maybe there is a lil attraction to him on my part but I can't really see pass Squall….

Just forget I said that. *chuckles* Irvy will be fine, Seif is a great warrior and even tho he pisses me off a lot and teases me with that ridiculous name 'chicken wuss' I like him, heaven knows why, I just do.

Rinoa……next entry I will fill you in on her.

I have to go Jo someone knocking, and it sounds like Nida.

What did you expect? My adrenaline is going rampant and I need release, spot ya later!

[Zell Dincht signing out at 2325 hours]