Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Final Fantasy Radio/T.V. Network ❯ Fixing Things ( Chapter 7 )

You are listening to…

Fantasy 4 Channel!

(Sound of a drill)

Cid: Whoops! Caught me off guard there! This is Chief Cid speaking, captain of the world's greatest independently owned airship; The Enterprise! Now, if you're like me-

Edge: Hey Cid, I have to tell you something.

Cid: Punkass! What is it now, I'm in the middle of a show!

Edge: Well it's just that there are not only a lot of guys like you, but they all have exactly the same first name!

Cid: Not now! Uh, sorry folks. As I was saying, if you're anything like me, you can't stand to throw things away simply because they don't `work'. You look at that clock and see life in yet. Well that's what this show's about. Today we're going to start simple, we are going to change the oil in our hovercraft. First, elevate the hovercraft.

Edge: Did you hear me? Exactly what relationship do you have with all the other Cids.

Cid: I don't know what you're talking about! Now you've just got yourself a job of minimum wage. Lift the hovercraft by turning the key, put it in park. Then, place the stand beneath the craft. Next, turn on the magnetic force to hold it in place.

Edge: I'm not your employee! I'm leaving.

Cid: Oh no your not! (Poink! ZAP!)

Edge: Ouch! A stun gun?!

Cid: Get to work! I'm an old man. How dare you leave me with such a dangerous task!

Edge: (sigh) Alright. (Background noises)

Cid: Next, Get the oil collecting tray situated under the engine. Caution! You will get dirty! (Unscrews the cap)

Edge: AAARRRGH! (Oil pours onto his face and gets everywhere)

Cid: So you're gonna do a half-baked job of it?

Edge: (Spits out oil)

Cid: Get the cat litter! Hurry! Folks, when you spill oil, the best thing to do is to get cat litter, because of it's absorbency. Never use water. Get that tray under there! Turn off that hose!

Edge: (growls) I CAN'T DO IT ALL AT ONCE! We don't have any cat litter…so here!

Cid: Huh? That's my bag of oatmeal. Now what am I supposed to eat?

Edge: Well, that oil is pretty warm, better get a spoon before it cools off! Noo! (Gets zapped)

Cid: This is coming out of your pay hot stuff!

Edge: Ouch! But I already told you, I don't work for you, you crazy old dude!

Cid: Then-Who are you? What are you doing here? Security!

Edge: Heeey! I'm doing this of my own good will and mot to mention incredible engineering prowess.

Cid: Now I remember! That funky haired brat! You're working under me now, remember that! I am the establishment!

Edward: Oh dear! I think we'd better cut. He's getting crazy.

Edge: (sigh) Bye for now people.

You are listening to Fantasy 4 Channel

…It's now time for Dear Rosa's Professional Help

Rosa: Good Afternoon. My name is Rosa and I am here to take your letters about concerns and problems you may be dealing with. We have a few minutes and a couple of letters to discuss for our first show. So let's see…

(papers rustling)

Rosa: Ah, here we are. This letter is from Adrian Kellen. Adrian asks:

Dear Rosa,

I have a friend who loves her Chocobo. She's had it since it was a chick. Now it is getting on in his years and I want to tell her it is time to let him go. He's blind and has a lame claw. I know her Chocobo knows it's time, but she won't give him up. What should I do?

Rosa: Well Adrian, we all know it is hard to say goodbye to our family pets. Try to tell her how much her chocobo loves her and remind her of all the things he did for her. To let him rest would be the best way to show how much she cares for him. Take him on one last trip and tell her everything will be alright. Next, we have here a letter from Mrs. M.

Dear Rosa,

My husband is a soldier for Eblana. He is a good man, but he is always putting his job first before his family. He loves his king and country, and he does love us a lot, but when he is on duty and marching through the land, he tends to be a little too brave. I am afraid he won't come back to us.

Rosa: I understand. The main idea is to talk to him. Perhaps he had fears of his own, for his family and he feels if he doesn't do all that he can in the battle field, he may not protect his family enough. Take him somewhere he can relax or talk to him before he goes to sleep. Open up to each other. It is a privilege you have when you love someone so much. I know this to be true. Your husband is your love and your best friend. Talk.

Rosa: And that is all we have time for. Tune in next time for more professional help.