Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Forever Walking Alone ❯ Forever Walking Alone ( Chapter 1 )

He was lonely. That was the only way to describe him. He had his wonderful, obedient brothers, his mother's voice whispering in his ear and his elder brother playing solitary hero alone in the big bad world. And with them all, the hundreds of people who shared his cells. The geostigma, that's what was going to take care of things. That's what would convince his large family to join in the Reunion.

But, he was still lonely.

Falling to rest on his leather-clad knees, he gazed with cat-like, blue-green eyes into the dark waters before him. His silky silver hair fell into his eyes and he let it rest, covering the odd eyes with a radiant curtain of tangible moonlight. His elder brother had fought for the reunion and his traitorous elder brother had brutally murdered him.

If he could just find their mother, the root of their existence, he could take care of what needed to be taken care of. With mother, he could make the traitor pay, he could avenge his slaughtered brother.

Hugging himself, he closed his eyes and could almost believe it was somebody who loved him. Somebody who cared enough about him to wrap their arms lovingly around him. Mother would hold him. Mother would wrap her arms around him, hold him close. Mother would help him forget the pains of life. She would comfort him and listen to him tell her about the pains of the day.

He couldn't miss her though. He had to be the strongest. He had to the stronger brother. He had to be stronger then their fallen brother who had been so very strong. Loz, Loz missed the family the most. Loz knew his brothers, knew they were family, but he missed the blessing that a mother would give. He knew he couldn't stop his younger brother's desperate desire to find their mother. He couldn't stop the tears that fell from Loz's beautiful green eyes each time they came close to their mother and lost her.

He had to be strong. Yazoo, wonderful, quiet, beautiful Yazoo couldn't be the strongest either. Yazoo was quiet, unsure of himself unless he was holding onto a gunblade. Yazoo was unmatched with his beautiful silver gunblade. Yazoo was insuppressible when using the gunblade. But when political matters concerning discussing and the use of prose instead of the use of force presented itself, Yazoo would simply melt into ambiguity and allow someone else to speak for him. He was unnerved by the use of words. He wasn't a speaker, unless it was absolutely important.

It was left to him. Left to him to plan, left to him to convince, and left to him to handle their traitor brother.

But there were times he was left to wonder. Left to think back on things he'd missed, things he lacked. A mother to nurture him. Gods above how he wanted a mother. Somebody who would have taught him right from wrong and the gray in-between. Somebody to hold him when he stumbled, hold him when he was lost and confused. He couldn't support himself and his brothers. Not without help and he'd been asked to do just that.

He wanted… he needed somebody who would help him. Advise him. Guide him. Like a mother should. He didn't need a father. He'd been raised by an asshole of a man already. He needed a mother to temper the man. A mother who would teach him, nurture him. A mother to love him.

He tightened his arms around himself, trying to stop the tears that were springing to his cat-like eyes. He couldn't cry. The strong didn't cry. They never cried. It was against the strong code to cry. To shed tears. To mourn never having a mother... he couldn't be that weak. Loz cried. Loz mourned their lack of a mother. Loz cried enough. Beautiful Yazoo was contemplative. He knew everything, he saw everything. He could do just about anything. But he didn't talk. He did what he needed, what he should do, but he wasn't good company. He made it lonely.

His leather creaked in the silence of the clearing as he rocked himself. He rocked back and forth, his legs crossed as he wished for a mother. The need for maternal guidance fueled him. He needed the drive his mother gave him. She was his goal. She was his desire. What he longed for the most. He needed her. And somehow, he'd been able to convince Loz and Yazoo that they needed her as well.

It wasn't hard. Not really. Just convince the motherless, homeless, enhanced brothers that they were searching for the woman who had birthed him. Their mother, one might say. Loz, eager to find family, to have a home, was the first to agree to help.

"It hurts sometimes, doesn't it?" he whispered, kneeling before the large form of Loz.

"What d'ya mean?" Loz asked, looking into the same cat-like eyes he boasted.

"Not having a family. Not having a home. Not having a place to go to when you need a break."

Tears danced in the beautiful face as he nodded slowly. They were so alike and yet, he was so different. He was a lot of emotive.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked, tucking stray strands of silver behind his ear. Loz shook his head negatively, blinking innocently. "I am your big brother. And I've finally found you. Will you come with me?"

"And do what?"

"We're going to find our mother. Do you want to help me find mother?"

“We have a mother? How do I know you're my brother?” Loz asked softly. “Why didn't mother or you come find me?”

“Look at me and look at yourself. Our appearances are so similar how could we not be brothers? And we haven't been able to come find you. I was preoccupied with other things and mother is missing.”

“What happened to mother?” Loz asked, anger tinting his deep voice.

“Our traitor brother destroyed our older brother,” he spat. “And then he let ShinRa take our mother from us.”

“Let's go get her back!” Loz nearly shouted.

“We don't know where she is. Or if we'll be able to find her with just us two. We have another brother. Shall we go find him?”

"Let's go brother," Loz smiled, standing to face his new companion.

Yazoo, he had been hard to convince. He hadn't wanted to leave the life of solitude he lead. He hadn't wanted to destroy the fragile peace of his existence. When Yazoo had been found, he'd been presented with a beautiful golden pendant and with a few well chosen words, the brothers had been collected.

"Loz, this is our brother," he murmured, gesturing toward the nearly hidden form of Yazoo.

The beautiful long-haired boy raised his head and turned brilliant green eyes to the speaking boy. His thin form was huddled in the back of an open field, curled against a dark tree. His long arms were wrapped around himself and besides his hunched form, a silver gunblade lay neglected on the ground beside him.

"Are you Yazoo?" he asked softly, standing firmly with Loz's large form behind him.

The beautiful man nodded slowly, unfolding his long form and lifting the elaborate gunblade, ready to defend himself and his clearing.

"Do you know who we are?" he asked, flexing his sword hand gently. Yazoo shook his head and tightened his grip. "I'm your younger brother. This is your brother. Will you come with us?"

Again, Yazoo shook his head. He stepped backwards, the old leather he was wearing creaking softly in the quiet. He stepped forward, his arms held out and smiled. "Don't you want to find mother?" he asked.

Softly, almost inaudibly, Yazoo murmured, "I am an orphan. I have no family. I have no mother."

"And that's where you're mistaken. You are our brother and our mother has been kidnapped by the monsters in ShinRa."

"How do I know it's true?" Yazoo asked softly.

"Look at me, brother," he murmured.

"Don't you call me that. Not until you prove it!" Yazoo ordered softly.

"Look at me. Look at Loz. How can you deny your relation to myself or Loz? Don't you feel the call of mother in your veins? She's begging you to save her. Don't you want to save her?"

"Leave me alone!" Yazoo whispered, his green eyes fading into sadness. "Go away."

“I need your help. Please, help us save mother. Won't you?” he asked. Spreading his arms in a surrendering gesture, he stepped forward.

Instantly the falling gunblade was raised and targeted on his own beautiful face. “Stay away from me,” Yazoo ordered angrily. “Leave me alone.”

“I just want to give you something. I won't touch you okay?”

Yazoo didn't speak, just nodded affirmatively, his long silver hair falling over his shoulders as he tilted his head down. Moving again, he pulled a golden pendant from his neck. Yanking on the chain, he broke the delicate gold, pulled it from his clothes and approached his beautiful brother.

“What is this?” Yazoo asked softly.

“This is a memento of our fallen brother and our traitor brother and our wonderful mother. Brother's picture is on the right. The call you feel from it is because it is made with the blood we share. It has my blood, worked into the gold. The blood you share with me, the blood you share with Loz, and the blood you share with mother.”

"Who are you?" Yazoo asked, awe dancing in his voice as he held the pendant closer to his body.

"I am your brother. If you help me, I'll help you. When we find mother, the voice will fade and the pain will go away. You want that, don't you?" he asked.

The gunblade trembled before Yazoo lowered it. "You're my brother?"

"I am your brother," he nodded.

"Why didn't you come to find me before now?"

"I was... detained," he answered softly. "Will you help us?"

"Will she make it go away?"

"Mother will make everything better."

"I'll help you," Yazoo whispered. He slung the gunblade over his shoulder and hugged himself. His silver hair fell over his face as he looked down.

"Welcome brother," he whispered, embracing the thin man.

Yazoo had resisted, he'd been easy to persuade. The call of the pendant and the desire to find their mother was too strong. To think, after so long alone that he actually had a mother, but she was missing. He was eager to find her.

He moved to sit against a tree, his arms tightly wrapped around himself. He could feel the sting of tears in his green eyes. He could the heated slide down his cheek of hot tears. Wiping furiously at his face, he tried to erase their heated trek.

"I'm not going to cry. I'm stronger than this," he whispered softly. Drawing his knees to his chest, he bowed his head and blocked everything from sight.

"Brother?" Yazoo's voice asked softly.

"What is it?"

"Is everything okay, brother? Loz is getting antsy."

"Everything is fine. I shall join you in a few moments. I just need to gather my thoughts before we go after that traitor.”

“You know brother, you don't have to do everything by yourself. Loz and I are here as well. We can help if you'll let us.”

Lifting his silver head, he smiled at the beautiful Yazoo. The long silver hair seemed to glow in the twilight. “I'll keep that in mind, brother.”

Yazoo turned and left him sitting in the darkening clearing. He bowed his head and waited for the safety that mother's voice brought him. When mother whispered to him, he felt so much better. He didn't like the pure silence when mother was quiet.

He was going to make his brother pay and he was going to prove somehow, that he was better then his failure of a brother. He had to. He had to be better than the perfect general because he had to save mother. If his brother couldn't do it, then he wasn't good enough. No matter what anyone else said, he would be the one to save her.

Springing to his feet, he smirked at his reflection in the water. He would do it. Nobody else was strong enough. He could beat his traitor brother and he could save their mother. He would do it. Inhaling, he bowed his head and headed to his brothers. Together, they would storm Midgar and make the monsters give them their mother. Together, they would bring her from the hands of ShinRa. Together. But he would be the one to defeat the traitor. He would be the one to restore mother, however she wanted to be restored and he would be the favored son.

“Let's go brothers. We have a mother to save and a brother to destroy,” he smiled wickedly, mounting his black motorcycle.

“Lead the way brother!” Loz cheered.