Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Innocence ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimers : : I own none of the characters. Just the plot.

A/N : : I originally posted on FF.Net, yes, but since I can't stand what they did with the deletion of NC-17 because of adults that couldn't keep their children straight, I am posting here now and will probably delete my account on FF.Net in the not-to-distant future.

*word* -- happening (i.e. *crack*)

~*~ -- flashback

~#~ -- scene change

//word// -- thoughts

"word" -- speech

Garnet Eyes

Innocence

Reading the lengthy novels that Cloud had brought him the night before took up a nice portion of his day, and Sephiroth welcomed the short visit of his second between his 'duties,' as they were really Sephiroth's but he was unable to fulfill them, and almost eagerly he awaited the return of his sunshine blonde. For nearly a week Cloud had snuck in books and novels at night and they talked the most during those visits, when no one was there to disturb them. During daytime visits, which were quite frequent for studies, Sephiroth found his time filled with retelling his understanding of events in history and the impact he believed they had on the future. He also took in some very interesting aspects of the blonde's viewpoint. They worked mainly on military studies and the like while Zax took up Sephiroth's physical training sessions, so Cloud formed a great advantage over the other troops, who spent most of their time partying, drinking, and so forth.

Cloud was about due to come in for their usual nightly session, and Sephiroth found himself slightly impatient. He was beginning to enjoy the conversations he had with Cloud more than the ones with Zax. Zax and he were more on the same physical level and understanding of military life, but Cloud and he were more psychically linked. They shared similar interests and understandings, moving beyond the battlefield. They also appreciated the same types of literature, much of the same music (though for the life of himself Sephiroth could not come to understand Cloud's interest in hard rock and death metal), the same distaste for most things on TV, and many of the same views about work ethics. While he and Zax were stellar opposites, he and Cloud were perfectly alike. He enjoyed Zax's upbeat qualities, but he enjoyed Cloud's calm personality much more while he was recovering his strength.

The slight budge of the door opening caught his straying attention and the General turned his head to watch his favorite blonde slip through the door with the day's events to retell and a few new books to make the days pass a little faster. Warily, Cloud slid into the room and Sephiroth immediately looked concerned.

"What, Cloud?"

Large blue eyes turned sharply to jade and he flinched back slightly. Cloud looked like a wounded animal just then; something was wrong.

"Sephiroth, Sir, I'm afraid I can't come around at night anymore. The nightwatch is getting a little sharper because of the recent threat to the President's life. Though I enjoy talking to you a lot, I would prefer not to be kicked out of the program for being out after hours. I brought you a couple new books and I'll take the others back, but I can't come back tomorrow, Sir. I'm sorry."

Sephiroth sighed and dropped back into his bed, both irritated that he was losing his chance at some quality companionship and relieved that Cloud wasn't in any serious trouble. He felt a little better that Cloud was just as upset as he was.

"Of course, Cloud. I don't want you in trouble on my behalf."

Cloud looked back at the door after he made sure it was completely shut, and walked quietly over to the side of the bed.

"Well, I suppose I should enjoy tonight's meeting, then."

Sephiroth smiled, letting it cover his entire face instead of just his mouth-something that he did quite often around the blonde, and pulled himself up to relax his back against the head of the bed.

"I would like to enjoy it as well."

Cloud smiled before pulling a chair up next to the bed and sitting on it backward, as per habit. Sephiroth folded his hands in his lap, a nervous habit he had, and smiled again.

"Care to inform me of the day?"

Cloud grinned, nodding, and rested his head on his arms as he began to retell the day of written tests, physical workouts and several rather amusing events when his 'peers' totally flunked several simple physical exams that they could easily had passed had they paid attention. He eventually moved on to his most irritating teacher, Zax's tutelage, and his first mini assignment outside of the main Shin-Ra buildings. Sephiroth listened with rapt attention as the blonde retold the entirely jinxed mission and everything that had gone wrong in it and how several of the others managed to get mugged by some simple street robbers, which the General had to laugh about. Cloud had a way of retelling events that painted the most vivid picture in the mind's eye, and he enjoyed 'seeing' the scenes play out in his head as they were told. After the blonde had finished his story, he sighed and looked down at the ground by the bed. Sephiroth guessed it was because, not only could he not visit, but the nightwatch also made it impossible to practice at night as he usually did. From his own knowledge of how relaxing nightly katanas could be, the silver warrior easily sympathized with his young companion.

"You seem to have had a busy day, Cloud."

"Yeah. . . oh, that reminds me."

Cloud bent down and brought his pack up into his lap, digging around in it as usual.

"I know the kind of crap they feed you here and I figured you could use a break from whatever dumpster they found the food in."

The General laughed, eyes shining in amusement as Cloud pulled a box out of his pack and placed it on the bed. Curious, Sephiroth opened it and smiled.

"Chocolate. Definitely better than whatever dumpster they found the food in."

Sephiroth pointedly looked at Cloud then and they both grinned.

"I wasn't sure if you liked any particular filling, so most of them are just solid. I think there's a few caramel filled and one or two with dark chocolate centers."

Sephiroth smiled at that, taking a piece out and popping it in his mouth.

"Yum; you certainly know how to make me feel better."

"My mom always got me some when I was sick. Before. . ."

Cloud looked away, mood darkening substantially, and Sephiroth sighed. Whenever he tried to get a little information about Cloud's family or his past, the blonde always seemed to wander and his face turned black. It was as if the only thing that he could remember about his childhood was something horrible. Well, that was another thing they were alike in. Neither of them pressed about the other's past, knowing it was a touchy area on both sides, but some things occasionally reminded them. Cloud especially would phase out when he thought about his past and suddenly he would be back and telling a great story about some mishap during the day as if he had never been upset. No matter how concerned Sephiroth was about how the blonde cadet handled whatever was bothering him, he refused to jeopardize the relationship they held. The blonde was very open about himself with Sephiroth, and the General found he was likewise open with Cloud. It was the first time in his life that someone had made him this comfortable and he was, to say the least, very unwilling to let it go.

"Anyway, I can't stay as long as I'd like to. The shift is changing up now and it's easiest to leave."

"You sound like you've had experience in this, Cloud."

The blonde put the chair he had been on back in its place, put the new books on the side table, got the old books, and stood up straight. He winked and turned to leave, barely cracking the door before he turned back quickly.

"How else would I have gotten to where I am in life?"

With that mystical little sentence, he was gone. Sephiroth sighed, sliding down into his bed with a small smile. The blonde hadn't yet left without a guessing game in his wake.

~#~

"Hey, Sephiroth, good news!"

Without glancing up from the novel in his lap, Sephiroth smirked with his response.

"They've discovered a cure for whatever disease makes your hair look like that?"

Zax put a hand to his heart and stepped back as if he had been struck, almost looking shocked.

"Oh, that stings. That really, really hurts Sephiroth. Nice shot. I didn't realize you had that sort of sarcasm in you."

Glancing up over his reading frames at his second, the General's smirk broadened.

"I'm learning well, don't you think?"

Zax shook his head with a diminutive chuckle and looked back up at his superior.

"Well, you've had the best teacher around, you know. Anyway, the doctors said you could go back to your quarters now, but they still want you on complete bed rest for at least three more days. Meaning, you need someone to take care of you while you recuperate. They wanted to give you a nurse, but since I know how much you hate people you don't know, I told them no. However, sadly enough, I have too much to do, so I can't take care of you no matter how much fun I'd have bossing you around for once in my life. I offered Cloud, since the kid is better in his classes than anyone and you two seem to get along well. But that does mean you'll have to listen to him, Sephiroth. Don't bitch out, okay? I know you-you hate being taken care of, but he's been informed and he wants you better, just like the rest of us. Hell, I don't know how much longer I can take dealing with all the crap you usually do; it's cramping my style. I haven't been out for the nightlife since your insomnia started. I'm getting out of practice!"

Sephiroth chuckled, leaning back in his bed and taking his reading glasses from his face.

"Well, Zax, maybe it was best that you learned responsibility instead of more ways to slack off."

"Oh, I'm deeply hurt, Sephiroth. Anyway, the kid's moved into your quarters for now. He's gonna be there until the doctors are sure that you won't have a relapse, and then he can be moved back into the normal barracks. Until then, I believe you have someone waiting for you to get back. I got his schedule cleared. You'll be tutoring him in all his studies for the first few days until the doctors are satisfied that you won't need full-time care. Enjoy yourself, Seph."

Sephiroth sneered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're enjoying the fact that I'm not allowed up right now, aren't you?"

"Oh gods yes!! I'm enjoying this while I can. The gods know it'll never happen again!"

With a laugh, Zax left and Sephiroth sighed, closing his book and setting it aside on the table. Well, he'd best get ready to go back to his quarters then.

Just then there was a very light tap on his door and he looked up to it from getting ready to stand up.

"Come in."

The door opened a tiny amount and a little sunshine passed through before closing the door.

"Cloud, what are you doing here?"

The blonde smirked and shrugged, tossing a small bag that had previously gone unnoticed straight at the General's chest.

"Well, Zax was supposed to walk you back to your quarters, but I saw him leave laughing his head off so I figured he wouldn't be back. Besides, I thought you could use some clothes since hospital outfits are not exactly covering."

Sephiroth caught it and nodded, opening the bag to remove its contents and looking back up to notice Cloud standing close to the opposite wall, back turned and staring straight ahead.

"Cloud. . . ?"

"Get dressed, Sir. I'd like to take you back to your quarters."

A small smile lit the General's face and he nodded to himself, since the boy hadn't turned from the wall. Quietly and quickly, he dressed himself and stood from the bed to stretch. His muscles were stiff from lack of use, but he'd quickly get over it with the right stretches and exercise.

When he was ready to leave, he walked over to the blonde and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Shall we?"

Cloud looked back at him and nodded, turning back into the room and collecting the empty bag, two books, and the reading glasses on the side table before turning back to the door and opening it.

"Let's go."

~#~

Cloud had done a good job of cleaning up his quarters. There wasn't a spec of dust anywhere and, much to the General's delight, there was a very tantalizing smell emitting from his small kitchen area. The blonde was making lunch; and from the smell of it, a tasty lunch. But before Sephiroth had the chance to inquire upon the meal, he was ushered into his room and onto his bed.

"What are you doing, Cloud?"

"The doctors said you weren't allowed out of your bed for three more days, Sir. You weren't even technically supposed to walk back to your quarters; I was supposed to bring you in a wheelchair but I'd hate being forced into that myself, so I figured you would too. I didn't think a walk back to your quarters would seriously put you at risk for a relapse, but a lot of people are trusting me to keep you healthy in your recovery and I intend to make sure you follow procedure."

Internally, Sephiroth was both overwhelmed with the caring his blonde was showing him and despising the attention. He hated being taken care of, but he didn't want to hurt Cloud by telling him to go away. Sighing, he gave in //just for today// and laid back. Cloud seemed pleased, and left the room to continue preparing the meal. It only took thirty seconds for the General to decide that he was bored out of his mind and he sat up. His room held nothing entertaining-for that matter neither did any of his quarters. As far as he was concerned, this place was for eating and sleeping; he wished he had something else to do, but he didn't even have a TV in his quarters and he wanted something mind numbing.

With a sigh, he stood and quietly slid from his room to find his seat on the couch, curling his legs under him as he lazily watched the blonde busy himself around the small kitchen. Without having once looked up, Cloud bent over to take the temperature of something cooking in the oven and made a remark the startled the General.

"Zax was right; you refuse to listen to what you're told."

"How. . . how did you know I was here?"

"I heard you come out of your bedroom and across the floor. I know you were very quiet; most people wouldn't have heard. I've grown adept at that sort of thing. Anything that might make an immediate impact on my life is something I take note of."

Sephiroth digested the information slowly. Cloud never outright said anything, but he always hinted at his past. This was obviously another hint. Somehow, he needed to be this aware. What else had he had to do?

"Well, your food's ready. Here's your lunch; I'm making dinner."

The silver warrior looked down at the plate set next to him on the couch-a small bowl of freshly made macaroni and cheese; a crisp lettuce, tomato, and cheese turkey wrap; and a warm brownie along with a cool glass of water. Obviously, Cloud could cook-a lot. And it all looked very appealing, unlike the pre-made frozen 'food' Zax passed off as edible meals. But whatever was in the oven then smelled even better than what was in front of him then.

"What's in the oven now, Cloud?"

Cloud paused from a bowl of ingredients he was mixing and looked up at the General quickly before turning back to what he was doing.

"Barbeque; home recipe."

"Smells wonderful, Cloud. I could've used your cooking a lot earlier than this."

The blonde smiled thoughtfully and continued mixing whatever was in the bowl before he looked up at Sephiroth for a moment.

"I enjoy cooking, Sir. It's a kind of hobby."

"Please; you're in my quarters, Cloud. Call me my name. And that is certainly an interesting hobby. I'm guessing it comes in handy sometimes."

"Well. . . sometimes, yeah; I guess it does. Oh yeah!"

He left that bowl and turned to another part of the counter, closer to the sink, before turning back with it and two spatulas. Sephiroth watched contentedly as he came over, having inhaled the food already. He would savor dinner, but he was starving as of just then.

"One of my favorite things to do after making brownies or fudge is to get the leftovers out of the bowl. It's fresh chocolate, and I'm guessing you're still hungry."

Sephiroth moved from his position almost lying back against the couch so that Cloud had room to sit down and he watched with interest as the boy took one spatula and scraped out a nice amount of smooth chocolate, proffering it to him. Accepting it, he watched Cloud do it with the other spatula and smiled warmly. No one was this open with him but Zax, and Zax wasn't even at this depth in caring.

Jade eyes glanced down at the spatula quickly and he licked his lips. He hadn't indulged himself this much in a long time. This would be very enjoyable.

~#~

Sephiroth had eventually changed into his sweatpants and wrapped his robe around himself, deciding that he wouldn't leave for today because, first of all, he really didn't feel like going out, second of all, there was nothing out of his quarters to do either, and thirdly, Cloud continued to give him all of the leftovers in the bowls, which he did not want to miss as his stomach was still growling.

He was lying contently on the couch, almost asleep but not really, as he took in the scents that would be his dinner. There was a small knock on his door, which he ignored out of the fact that he was much too comfortable to feel like getting it. Between checking things in the oven, on the stove, and in the microwave, Cloud quickly went over to the door and opened it a crack. Slightly curious, Sephiroth turned his head just barely enough to see the door, but before Cloud could even speak he was easily shoved out of the way and the door opened to a smiling Zax.

Having been spotted, Sephiroth nuzzled down into the couch to pretend he hadn't noticed his second enter his room. That didn't last long, as Zax shoved his legs out of his way and sat down harshly beside him.

"I thought you were supposed to be in bed, Sephiroth."

"Isn't lying down enough?"

"Eh, depends on how often you tried to get up. Damn! What smells so good?"

The General lazily lifted a hand and pointed toward the kitchen area, where Cloud had resumed working. Zax attention turned to what Sephiroth had been watching the entire day and the brunette's smile broadened.

"You're making a lot of food, Cloud. All that's for this lazy bum?"

"No Sir, it's not all for you."

Sephiroth burst out laughing at both the jab Cloud had made at Zax and the dumbfounded expression the brunette's face took on when he registered what the blonde had said. Cloud did nothing more than add an extra plate to the table and continue on with what he had been doing. Zax, however, looked over at Sephiroth for a minute while he covered his mouth and attempted to stop laughing, before the brunette smiled again and leaned back on the couch.

"That was very nice, Cloud. I guess you're how Sephiroth's learning to be an insulting prick."

"Thank you Sir. I enjoy teaching bad behaviors."

Sephiroth managed to sober up to just grinning by the end of that exchange and watched Cloud begin to move things to the table. Baked potatoes, fresh salad, steamed vegetables, a small dish of pasta with the sauce on the side, and finally the barbeque. Both men on the couch inhaled deeply of the aromas before getting up and moving to the table. Cloud set a pitcher of iced water down and then sat down himself.

"Don't forget to save room for desert."

Zax glanced over to the blonde for a second before grabbing the food. Sephiroth went a little slower than his friend, but he was still very hungry. The only one that really took his time and didn't eat much was Cloud. He either wasn't very hungry or he wanted to make sure both SOLDIER elites got as much as they wanted.

After the first taste of the barbeque, Zax and Sephiroth took to demolishing that before moving on to the rest of the food, which they barely had any leftovers of. Cloud eventually began clearing the table of the empty food dishes before he finally cleared away everything- both the General and his second being completely full by then.

"You two didn't save room for desert, did you?"

Zax looked up from rubbing his full stomach and grinned.

"Give me an hour. I'll eat that too."

Sephiroth grinned slightly, but he really was tired and there was no way he could eat anything else. Cloud seemed to catch the look in his posture and carefully, meaningfully, grabbed his arm and led him back to his bed. He went without protest and curled up under the warm sheets, content about the thought of sleep.

~*~

Hojo left right after he had finished the punishment. Sephiroth just lay still, face down on the cold floor of the lab, almost afraid to move yet. It took a few minutes for him to decide that Hojo was really gone, and then he grabbed his clothes and yanked them back on, covering his bleeding body as best he could. The floor was covered in blood where he had lain. Suddenly terrified he'd be punished for the mess, he forced himself to move around and collect some cleaning supplies before he scrubbed down the area, desperate to get up any trace of blood. When he was fairly successful, he mopped up everything from the floor and put everything away before fleeing the premise as fast as he could go. He didn't have a room of his own, only a caged cell when they weren't doing anything to him. But his watcher had a room. And a shower.

Luckily, the man was out when he reached the room, or he would never have gotten a shower. But he had to hurry or he might get hurt again. His watcher hated him-almost as much as Hojo did. He didn't know what was so bad about himself that everyone thought he was so horrible, but then again, if everyone thought it, they couldn't all be wrong, now could they?

From his short experience in life, he found that the skill of picking locks that his last watcher taught him came in very handy. Now was one of those times as he managed to break into the watcher's quarters and slip into the bathroom and shower. He was back out of the entire quarters in less than fifteen minutes and then just walked over to a window overlooking the training grounds for the recruited soldiers of Shin-Ra. They were dueling with swords, bodies pushed to the limits to fend each other off. None of them were weak; why was he? Well, maybe he wouldn't be anymore.

~*~

*Thump*

Startled awake, Sephiroth jerked upright in bed and looked around. Sitting back, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes when he remembered Cloud was supposed to be staying with him for a few days. So what in the hell was that noise?

After a good stretch and a yawn, he got out of bed to find out. The door to his room opened easily and he leaned against the frame, just staring at what was before him. Cloud obviously would not let a little thing like an enclosed space stop him from practicing. He hadn't broken anything yet, but the thump that had woken Sephiroth up was the couch being flipped on its back from the gods only knew what move.

He could only watch a few more near deaths for his furnishings before he decided the boy would give him a heart attack if he let the blonde continue. After gauging his movements for a little while, Sephiroth swiftly slid into the picture and grabbed Cloud around the waist with one arm while holding the wrist that held the sword tightly with his free hand. Cloud's eyes immediately snapped open, but he seemed to realize who it was behind him and didn't struggle.

"I applaud your want for improvement, but I don't want my living space taking the blunt end of your dedication. Please, don't practice in here."

"Well I had nothing else to do until you woke up. You're supposed to be teaching me, remember? I already studied over all of my old information."

Sephiroth smiled slightly before letting go of his protégée, feeling slightly awkward at having enjoyed holding the boy. Cloud turned to face him and he couldn't completely force down the blush threatening to overtake his cheeks. His sunshine blonde carefully laid a hand on his forehead, obviously checking for fever, and Sephiroth smiled again slightly. The boy was so caring it almost made the General uncomfortable to accept the hospitality.

"You don't feel very hot. I guess it's just a passing feeling. Are you ready to teach me today?"

The silver warrior nodded, walking over to the couch and beginning to turn it upright. He barely got it flipped before there was a loud knock at his door, followed by a loud curse. Zax. Obviously, with his quarters just below, he had heard the noise too.

Before Sephiroth had the chance to respond, Zax unlocked and opened the door, shoving past it with bloodshot eyes and in only sweatpants.

"I have just gotten to sleep. I wake up to an enormous crashing noise over my head and come up here to see absolutely nothing wrong. There had best be some fractured body with limbs missing that you two just threw out of the window to cover your tracks or I will kill you both."

Both the General and the blonde gawked for a moment before Sephiroth cracked a grin and Cloud stepped forward.

"Sir, you look like you need some sleep. Might I suggest getting rest and beating us up later?"

Zax stared at Cloud for a moment before growling and walking out.

"Fine."

Both remaining men smiled and Cloud shut and locked the door after him. He turned back into the room to look at Sephiroth to find the man standing at the window, staring out.

Sephiroth just looked out at the blue sky, watching a bird make lazy circles around the sky. He didn't notice Cloud had come to stand next to him until the blonde deliberately brushed shoulders and then he merely glanced over to the concerned blue eyes looking up at him before looking back up at the bird.

"You know, sometimes I just wonder what it would be like if things were different. . . .free. . ."

With a small sigh, the General backed away from the window and walked over to his couch, falling down onto it and curling his legs under himself.

"What am I teaching you today, Cloud?"

Cloud continued to look out the window after he left, seemingly either having ignored the question or not heard it at all.

"Like, if you could change something in your past so your future would change? Like maybe if you just did one thing differently everything might have happened in another way?"

The blonde glanced back at the window before walking over to him and sitting next to him in much the same position the General himself was in, but reversed so they were looking at each other.

"Sephiroth. . . everyone is like that. There isn't a single person in this world that wouldn't like to have changed something in their lives so that everything after changed-hopefully for the better. Don't make it sound like a bad thing. I'm sure you can think of a lot you'd want different; I could too. But, the thing is, that everything that has happened to you made you into who you are, and made your life into what it is. Are you saying you want absolutely nothing to do with what you have now?"

Sephiroth looked at the blonde for a only a few more seconds before he turned his head away, feeling his eyes become watery.

"Cloud. . . you have no idea how much I need changed. There is so much in my life that I do not want and cannot stand. But I must. I am not free to change what I want, as you are. My place is here, as it always was, and I want none of it. There are things outside of Shin-Ra that I have never, and will never, experience. Those are the things that I want, Cloud. The things that you can have if you so choose."

Feeling his self-control rapidly slipping, he put a hand over his eyes and stood up, walking over to his bedroom and locking himself in. He hadn't cried in fifteen years and he had no intention of breaking up because of something a sixteen-year-old recruit had said or made him say. No matter how true all of it was, he would not collapse into a sobbing ball because of what one person said. That hadn't happened since he was eight. Never again. He promised himself that so long ago. . . he wouldn't break it for anything.

~#~

It had taken him nearly ten minutes to convince himself he wouldn't cry, and in that time Cloud had obviously found something to occupy himself, as the General could hear some noise outside his room. He could only hope that the blonde would leave the subject at rest as he unlocked his door and stepped out into the main room. Cloud was just lazily tossing a ball at the far wall from the couch, reading from a textbook as he waited patiently for Sephiroth to reemerge.

Taking one last shaky breath, Sephiroth left his room and walked out into the main room, moving to sit next to Cloud.

"I'm sorry, Cloud. What am I supposed to be teaching you now?"

Cloud glanced up from his book before turning back to it and catching the ball one last time. He picked up the textbook and set it between them, pointing to the page he was on. 'The Wutai Rebellion.' Ugh. History.

"Well. . . what are you on in this chapter?"

"The beginning of the uprisings."

"Ah, the easy part to explain."

Cloud grinned, looking up at Sephiroth then, and moved closer to the man, putting the book half in each of their laps.

"Then explain."

Sephiroth looked down at the sunshine blonde hair for a moment, almost curious as to if it felt as soft as it looked, before he snapped out of it and started explaining how the people of Wutai had been unsettled since Shin-Ra attempted to impose itself in their everyday lives. They slowly built up their aggressions over years of mistreatment by the Shin-Ra before, finally, war broke out and then the entire episode of the Wutai/Shin-Ra War played out in his mind, easily replayed and explained to Cloud. They spent all of three hours going through details of the War and how it had gone from bad to worse for both sides until Shin-Ra finally developed its winning technology. Even then it had still been hard, but with the right strategies the Shin-Ra had pulled through and Sephiroth's detailed memory brought forth many facts that the textbook left out. And many opinions that were never stated. Such as how unfair the War had been in the first place and how most of the soldiers fighting really didn't agree with what was going on, but they were being paid to go through with it.

After a while, Sephiroth got a little tired of explaining, though telling Cloud was a bit easier than explaining it to anyone else since Cloud sat in rapt attention through the entire thing. He also didn't interrupt, like so many other trainees would just for the sake of interruption. It was nice to be able to talk about his own opinions, even if it was on a war long past to him, without having the person he was talking to try to remark or add things in. It was almost relaxing.

~#~

Three days and he still couldn't leave the room. He had taken Cloud's ball two days ago and, in black sweatpants and a white tee, was now idly tossing it up toward the ceiling, waiting for Cloud to come back from training outside. He didn't stay out for very long, but they had agreed that he could go out to practice without worrying about Sephiroth trying to leave the room in utter boredom. Aside from the fact that he had been caught when he had tried it when the blonde first left and then had to sit in his room with two men guarding his door until Cloud came back. That had been both one of the most embarrassing and annoying moments in his life when Cloud came in from his hour long katana to have the initial question of 'why are there two men with guns outside your door and what did you do to warrant them?' Gods, he wanted to just curl into a ball and die as soon as he heard that. But there hadn't been any malice in the words and absolutely no grief; Cloud had put his sword away and walked into the kitchen to make a quick supper after the question, not even really bothering to wait for an answer. Afterward they had gotten into a little wrestling match since Sephiroth had gotten irritated with not being able to expel any energy. He was a SOLDIER for the gods' sakes; how long did they really think it would take to recover from sleep deprivation?

Sephiroth cracked a small grin as he tossed the ball up again. That was when Cloud had found his weak spot. He had only really been ticklish in one place, but once exploited it always felt like everything was ticklish. He hadn't laughed as hard as he did that day in years. It felt good. And he had gotten Cloud back for it. The boy had his ticklish spots too, and he very easily exploited Cloud's weak spots as well.

After that, they both laid on the floor and stared up at the ceiling, just talking about random things. It didn't matter what-conversation ranged from weather to news to sports and training to music and movies and back again. They had spent nearly an hour just talking about nothing before Zax banged on the door. He never missed a meal when Cloud made food.

A light noise brought Sephiroth out of his reverie and he glanced over at his bedroom door. A pot hit the stove and he grinned. Just Cloud.

He turned his head back to the ceiling and continued tossing the ball idly until he stopped hearing noise. Listening hard for a while, he couldn't pick up anything-not even a step. Curious, he sat up in bed and listened again. Nothing. Even more curious, he stood up and walked to his closed door, carefully listening for anything again before he carefully turned the knob and stepped out. Unfortunately, he hadn't looked back at the wall or he would have noticed the little blonde ball crouched down against the wall just waiting to spring. He didn't realize until it was too late what the blonde had planned. Feeling the small hand against his left side, right above his hip, he yelped and jumped forward. Cloud, however, moved with him and managed to get him to run to get away, laughing the entire time. Finally, however, Sephiroth turned and started tickling back, making Cloud jump away. They both took crouched positions, like panthers ready to strike, before Sephiroth shot forward and Cloud jumped back, turning to run. He chased his blonde around the room for a good while before Cloud jumped the couch to use it as a barrier. They both circled it a few times before Sephiroth jumped in an attempted to grab Cloud from behind the couch. He jumped out of the way and flipped over the couch, grabbing Sephiroth's sides and tickling until Sephiroth called truce so he could breathe again.

Panting, with jade eyes shining in laughter, Sephiroth laid back on the couch and shoved Cloud off with his thigh. After Cloud hit the floor they both laughed and the blonde stood up, smacking the General's face with a pillow before walking into the kitchen space. Sephiroth pulled the pillow from his face and let it rest on his chest, watching Cloud bustle around making dinner. A content smile made its way to his face as he watched Cloud, a kind of warm feeling moving through his chest. He felt so. . . happy. . . with Cloud around. It was a different feeling than he was used to, but it was somehow very fulfilling to just be near his blonde now.

With a yawn, the silver warrior got up to help in his kitchen. He wasn't inept at making food, but he did enjoy good home cooking without having to pick up a single measuring cup. Still, he was incredibly bored and even if just watching Cloud was enjoyment enough, he didn't want the blonde slaving over him.

"What are we making today?"

Cloud grinned and looked up from the sauce he was preparing.

"Just some lasagna and alfredo sauce pasta. Maybe a salad too."

Sephiroth sat at one of the two stools to the island counter and watched Cloud for a minute more before he stretched, pulling the bowl of sauce with him when he dragged back.

"I'll take care of mixing this, why don't you get something else started and I'll help you with the odd jobs?"

Cloud looked at him for a moment before smiling and nodding his head, turning to get a different sauce started. They mixed and baked for a little while before everything was in order and just needed to finish baking, so they both relaxed back on the couch for a minute.

When the food was ready, Cloud set the table and Sephiroth took his seat as Cloud took his, both glancing at the empty third plate set up for dinner. Where was Zax? He never missed getting fed.

Just after that thought, a loud knock at the door came followed by a loud shout.

"Honey, I'm home!!"

Sephiroth dropped his head in his arms while Cloud got up to answer the door, a small smirk adorning his features. Zax waltzed in happily, plopping down in his chair and immediately shoveling food onto his plate. Sephiroth glanced up, shook his head, and excused himself to the bathroom.

"Damn Cloud, I don't know how I survived before you. That cafeteria crap isn't nearly good enough. I think I'm gonna hafta keep you myself when Sephiroth here kicks you out."

"Kick me out?"

"Well sure, Cloud. You can't honestly think he enjoys being dependent, now can you?"

"Being dependent has nothing to do with it, Sir. He is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. I thought he wanted the company."

"Sephiroth? Company? You have to be kidding me! Sephiroth never tolerates anyone longer than necessary. He just lets me around because I'm so pushy about it. You don't strike me as the type to push at him to stay, so when the doctors say he's completely healed, you're back to your original quarters with all five other occupants. Gods, I hated being a recruit if for no other reason than just because of that. Anyway, you can always stay with me instead if you want. I like the company and I can't get tired of your cooking. I mean, damn! Everything you make tastes great!"

Cloud looked down at his plate then, seemingly distant, before Sephiroth came back and took his seat. The blonde glanced at him before picking at his plate, something both older men had attributed as normal for him. He never ate large meals, just light with little snacks.

After dinner, Zax left to continue paperwork and Sephiroth went into his room as usual to rest. Cloud, of course, did the dishes and cleaned up a little before he went to the couch to lie down. He used the couch as his bed since the start, and it was much more comfortable than his original bed, but he did nothing more than stare up at the ceiling for the rest of the night, willing himself not to think. Tomorrow was another day.

~#~

After another two days, the doctors came for another checkup and decided Sephiroth definitely wouldn't have a relapse. They left him to continue about his day, and he remained very pleased throughout the day as he could, and did, leave his room to get back to work. It was a slow day, but he took over the paperwork from Zax so the man could get some rest, and the brunette made the comment that he could understand how this crap could bring Sephiroth to exhaustion-it never ended.

Content that he had done enough work for the day, Sephiroth left for his room again expecting a meal waiting for him. He got there just in time to see Cloud putting on his uniform-something he hadn't needed since he moved into Sephiroth's quarters, with his duffle bag of possessions packed.

"Cloud. . . ?"

The blonde finished perfecting his uniform and picked up his duffle bag, turning to Sephiroth since the man was standing in the door.

"Sir, you are well and I'm told I should be leaving now."

"By who?"

Cloud paused for a minute and Sephiroth forced himself to calm down. He had heard the hostility in his own voice and he didn't want it there.

"Who told you to leave, Cloud?"

"You need your privacy again, Sir. I've intruded long enough, and I should be going."

//He's moving around my question. Why?//

"I enjoyed staying with you, Sir, and I learned a lot, but I don't want to wear out my welcome."

Sephiroth stood silently for a moment before he spoke in a very muted voice.

"And you will be staying where?"

"I've taken Zax up on his offer to let me stay with him for a while."

Sephiroth immediately went hostile again. He knew Zax. The man was good hearted, but any offer to room always resulted in some type of sexual activity and there was no way his blonde was doing anything with his best and only friend.

"No."

Cloud raised an eyebrow at him curiously.

"Sir, I respect you greatly, but you cannot expect that I sleep outside. I do not have any other room, since mine was given to someone else. You cannot keep me from sleeping indoors."

"You will stay here, but you will not stay with Zax. I never told you to leave, so don't assume. Don't act like I can barely tolerate you, Cloud. I enjoy your company just the same and I do not want you to feel as if I cannot stand you. I. . ."

His tone greatly changed then, and he lowered his head so silver hair covered his face from view. He couldn't believe what he had just about said. //I need you.// When had that happened? He didn't need anyone. But. . . somehow he just couldn't picture not seeing Cloud first thing in the morning. What happened to him that he felt this way? No one had ever affected him like this. Why was Cloud any different? But. . . he had always been different since Sephiroth first saw him. Always. He was special, somehow. Maybe not to other people, but to Sephiroth, Cloud was very important. How could he express that without sounding weak?

Forcing himself to meet azure eyes, he swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to say it. Weak or not, it was true. He needed Cloud near him now. However it happened, it happened and he didn't want anything to change it. He could only pray that Cloud would accept it gracefully and either consent or reject him lightly.

"I need you, Cloud. I want to be near you."He could barely hear his own voice, but he knew he couldn't repeat it. Head bowed, he awaited the cool rejection he knew was coming.