Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Innocence ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimers : : I own none of the characters. Just the plot.

*word* -- happening (i.e. *crack*)

~*~ -- flashback

~#~ -- scene change

//word// -- thoughts

"word" -- speech

~word~ -- memory

Garnet Eyes

Innocence

Spooned into Cloud's arms for the night, Sephiroth opened his eyes woozily and tilted his head back to see his blonde fast asleep. Cloud took forever to get to sleep, which he hadn't taken into account when he had planned to stay up and think. Yawning shallowly, he curled closer to the body behind him and relaxed into the sheets. A gift for Cloud… what was really important to the blonde? Well, as far as he had seen, Cloud held nothing very close to himself. He never showed a lot of interest in any one thing. Although… he did enjoy fighting and sword technique a lot. But that wasn't extra special. It had to be something special that no one else could give. He didn't have anything like that.

No… he had something like that; he had himself. Aside from swords, he was the only thing Cloud took an interest in above everything else. And they were together on a fairly intimate level, even though Cloud had wanted more. Maybe not in so many words, but Sephiroth was observant; Cloud wanted something more even if he wouldn't outright say it. Maybe that was it. He could give Cloud more of himself. Though he would never fully heal from what had happened and he was still afraid it could happen again, he didn't want to-no he wouldn't-live his life in fear. He could trust Cloud with himself; he already had and his blonde had never overstepped any boundaries. Patience seemed to seep forth from everything he did and, though Sephiroth himself couldn't continue dealing with the part of his past that was coming back at him with a vengeance, he could continue with Cloud by his side, helping him. His caring little blonde gave him what emotional strength he lacked, and he knew there was a lot lacking. Physically, he was superior to anyone, but emotionally, he didn't know much of anything. But he had a very good teacher now, and his sunshine was helping him show his feelings. He could only do so much in return, but hopefully it would be enough to show what he wanted to. As often as he said he loved his blonde, he didn't think it was expressed well enough. He loved Cloud so much more than words could say, and he needed to express it in a more meaningful way.

Now, he would.

~#~

Sephiroth had set his quarters up perfectly for the night. Candles, soft music, Cloud's favorite meal, dimmed lights, roses meticulously placed around the room… He made it as romantic as possible, but he was still fidgety about what he was doing. In thinking about his relationship with Cloud and what he was preparing to do now, he knew that he wanted to be on a more intimate level, just as Cloud did, but he was still very afraid. Several times already he had almost taken the entire set up apart, and he stood now in front of it, chewing on his lower lip and trying to decide whether he should just get rid of it now before Cloud got back. He didn't get to choose as the door opened and he heard the small gasp. Well, here it goes.

"Surprise, love."

He turned to see Cloud looking around wide-eyed before his attention rested on Sephiroth and he smiled.

"You did all this for me?"

Sephiroth nodded self-consciously and watched Cloud step further in the room. He was really getting worried about his decision to do this. He wanted to, he really did, but he was afraid of what it would feel like. Cloud would be gentle, he knew, but would he make everything as pleasurable as it was supposed to be or would he look for self-satisfaction first?

"Sephiroth… it's beautiful."

Cloud hugged him tightly and he returned, thoughts making him a little hesitant.

"Thank you, love, it's a wonderful gift. Let's enjoy."

Cloud stepped back and held Sephiroth's hand, turning toward the table and offering Sephiroth his seat, pushing his chair in before he walked over to his own seat to sit down. They ate in silence, Sephiroth feeling more fretful as the meal began to disappear. Cloud noticed and started putting together everything about the evening before he looked up at Sephiroth adoringly and stood up, walking over to him. He knelt down next to the man and rested his hands on Sephiroth's thigh, making jade eyes look down into azure.

"Sephiroth, we don't have to do anything if you're not ready. I don't want you to push yourself."

"Cloud… I want to…"

He could hear the blanketed fear in his own voice and turned away, ashamed. Cloud softly placed a hand to the side of his face and brought their eyes together again.

"We'll go as far as you want to, no farther. You do what you want, Sephiroth. It's what you want that matters here."

"Cloud… I love you so much."

The blonde stood up to embrace the silver warrior and they held one another for a few minutes, giving Sephiroth time to calm down.

"Now," the General heard whispered in his ear, "let's go to bed, Sephiroth. Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

The silver warrior nodded, anxiety rising with each step toward his bed. //This is what I want.// he repeated the mantra in his head, trying to settle his frayed nerves as he sat down on his bed and looked over at his blonde. Cloud sat next to him, resting his weight on an arm behind him, and just looked at Sephiroth contemplatively. Trying not to feel insecure about what he was getting ready to do, the General ignored the scrutiny and found one sole spot on the wall to be very interesting.

A small hand brushed against his cheek and unconsciously he leaned toward it, feeling arms wrap around him soon after. Cloud nuzzled into his neck and began kissing him on the skin just above his life pulse, drawing their bodies tightly together. Dropping his head back, the General allowed his blonde more room for his exploration and, in the process, let himself just feel the sensations the blonde was giving him. Cloud moved his hand to the front of Sephiroth's black tee, dragging it down out of his way to gain access to his collarbone and began nipping his way down to the center. Once he reached his destination, he began kissing a slow trail up the silver warrior's throat, pausing to lap at his Adam's apple, before reaching up for Sephiroth's lips.

They kissed passionately before Cloud began teasing him, lapping at his lips until the silver warrior gently parted them and gave his blonde access. Dipping his tongue teasingly into Sephiroth's mouth, Cloud goaded a response out of him so that their tongues twined together, battling for dominance. Moaning, the silver warrior grabbed the back of his sunshine's shirt with one arm to stabilize himself and grabbed onto the blonde's arm with his other hand, pushing his head up in an attempt to deepen the kiss even more. They stayed in tight embrace for minutes, holding each other and kissing fervently, before Cloud slowly brought his head back so they could both breathe more easily. Panting, Sephiroth opened his eyes lazily to look up into his sunshine's azure pools, finding an overpowering love in their depths. There was banked lust at the edges, but his blonde had yet to do anything uncomfortable.

The General sighed, letting himself drop to the bed and opening his arms in surrender. He did want this. But only from Cloud, no other.

The blonde, having seen the surrendering gesture, lowered his face to Sephiroth's and kissed him deeply, maneuvering himself under the silver warrior's body. Confusion immediately clouded the General's face, but Cloud hushed any questions with a finger placed delicately against his lips.

"Sephiroth, I want you to do what you want. This is your night, not mine. You're in control."

Control. Something that Sephiroth never really had over his life. And Cloud was handing it to him as if it was a sacred gift, which it was in a way. Cloud was giving him complete control of the situation. Only as far as he wanted to go. Only what he, Sephiroth, wanted. He didn't even know what he wanted, much less how to go about it, but he knew he wanted Cloud to give it to him.

Chewing delicately on his lower lip, Sephiroth looked down at Cloud with the innocent curiosity of a newborn. He was ultimately very interested about his diminutive blonde's body, but he wasn't sure about how to go about undressing him to satisfy such an interest. Somehow he knew that just ripping his clothes away would not make for a very pleasant experience. Feeling a soft breeze from the open window across his skin, Sephiroth touched his throat where Cloud had left a trail of kisses and smiled. Well, maybe that would help.

Bringing his head down to Cloud's, he kissed the blonde's lips gracefully before pulling his head back and mimicking his sunshine's earlier movements down his throat. Reaching his collar, Sephiroth began to undo the buttons to Cloud's loose white shirt, kissing the skin he exposed along the way. His blonde made small moaning noises to encourage him to continue, and Sephiroth kept going until he got down to the blonde's stomach, resting his burning cheek against the heated skin there. Cloud brought his fingers through the silver warrior's hair a few times and Sephiroth purred lightly before sitting back and looking down at his blonde. Cloud's cheeks were a rosy contrast to his fair skin and his muscles showed just slightly through his faintly glistening, sweat-slicked skin. He looked so inviting to just lie against and kiss with the same passion they had earlier. But, before his resolve left him, Sephiroth bent back down to lap at his blonde's stomach as he unbuckled and pulled away the boy's pants, forcing all thoughts out of his head. Nothing would stop him.

Cloud's body was unscathed by battles and held no scars of war. His fair skin glowed softly in the dim light of the room, a flush coloring his cheeks deeply. Azure eyes shined gently a darkening blue, lust seeping away from the edges to the center. Perfection seemed written across his skin; and Sephiroth felt ashamed of himself. What was his worth, in all actuality? How Cloud could possibly want him after what had happened to him… was beyond Sephiroth's understanding. His sunshine in all honesty deserved better. And he was planning to taint such pureness with what was himself? He couldn't do this.

A hand brushed against his cheek and he realized he was crying. Cloud asked nothing, only pulled him into a tight, comforting embrace that he immediately yielded to. Sephiroth buried his head in the juncture between his sunshine's neck and shoulder, fingers curling softly into the flesh of the blonde's lower back. Through his hitched breathing, the silver warrior managed to voice his feelings to the one person that could possibly understand and accept him.

"I-I can't… I can't do it… It's… no… I c-an't."

"Shh… it's all right, Sephiroth. It's okay… you don't have to go any farther than you want. Shhh…"

"…I love you… I-'m so-rry… I'm j-ust not good enough…"

Cloud heard the barely audible confession and frowned, grip tightening around Sephiroth's pliant body before pushing him back at arms' length to look at his saddened jade eyes.

"Is that what you think? That you're not good enough for me?"

Jade eyes turned down trying to find anywhere to look but the clear blue eyes he admired so much. Feeling the arms holding him tighten their grip of his arms and begin to shake him none too lightly, he looked timidly up at his sunshine with a small prayer that he wouldn't be mad.

"Sephiroth, you listen to me, and you listen well. You are more than good enough for me. You are good enough and better than deserving of anyone. Never, ever say that again. You are wonderful, and much better than I deserve. Do not regret what happened to you in the past, Sephiroth. It's in the past. You can't change it. Don't let it shape your views of yourself into something as harsh as it has. I love you, not what you look like or what you can do. I love when you show me your emotions and how you express yourself at any time. I love what you say, and I love how you always eat everything I make, regardless of how full you are from other things. I love your opinions and I love when you do those little things like come up behind me when I'm upset and hug me. I love you. Don't make it seem like you aren't-"

"Stop it… please…"

Hearing Cloud was making him want to crawl into a corner and die. He didn't deserve the praise his blonde was giving him. But his sunshine's eyes hardened and he caught and pinned Sephiroth's eyes so he couldn't look away.

"No. Sephiroth, I love you more than anything, but that doesn't mean a damn thing if you don't want my love. I can't force you to really love me, no matter how much I want you to; it's your life and your choice. Don't make any decisions you'll regret later on because of me. I'm not important here, Sephiroth. This is your feelings. Do you want this or not?"

Trembling uncontrollably from the feeling of utter insignificance, Sephiroth leaned forward into Cloud and the blonde's arms yielded, allowing the General the physical and emotional support he needed and found from the closeness of another being. Cloud wouldn't let him excuse himself on the grounds of his own triviality of existence, so what else was there? True, fear always lingered when certain parts of his body were involved, but that wasn't what was holding him back. He trusted his blonde to protect him from the basis of that fear; it didn't excuse him either. There was only one other thing-his past. Having been abused so much when he was younger and then again just recently, Sephiroth couldn't believe that he was worth more than the flesh to anyone. That was what he was scared of, though. If Cloud had his body and saw his taint, then he would be left alone again. Just like when he was younger, there would be no refuge in anyone and he would simply have to continue on without his emotions. He knew there was no way to continue trying to hold onto his emotions if no one wanted to keep them safe. If Cloud left them to rot, then they would rot; Sephiroth couldn't have found the will to try and recollect all the parts of him that his sunshine's elimination from his life would shatter. Enough was enough; Cloud was the only one to get this far, and there was no way to pull all the clinging parts and feelings away and push them back inside. It all came down to the fact that he didn't want his beautiful little blonde to turn away from him with disgust marring his features.

"I…"

His voice broke into a sob and he dropped his head. If he said nothing, Cloud would be hurt. If he said he didn't want it, Cloud would still be hurt. The only way to keep Cloud from hurting was to say what he had from the beginning. //I do want this.// A sharp twist in his resolve returned and he sat back, wiping his eyes on his forearms before looking up at Cloud. //I want this.//

"I do love you, Cloud. I don't want to… couldn't live without you. And… I want you. All of you."

Cloud smiled compassionately and stroked Sephiroth's damp cheek with the back of his hand before pulling the silver warrior into his lap and running the hand that had been on the General's cheek down his chest and over his abdomen. Once he reached the hem of Sephiroth's black tee, he brought it up above the well-defined abdomen with feather-light touches against the warrior's skin. The General swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat and forced his body to relax. This was something he wanted; he shouldn't be afraid of it.

A finger grazed his right nipple and he gasped, going limp as it returned to roll the sensitive flesh and tug it just barely. This was nothing like what he'd experienced before. Pleasure shocks continued to course through his body from the sweet torment of Cloud's fingers and the silver warrior subconsciously arched into the feelings. Hissing in a sharp intake of breath, Sephiroth moaned lowly from feeling a moist tongue replace the fingers at his nipple. He'd never known this was supposed to feel so good. It was more than he could've hoped for when he had decided to give himself to Cloud.

The General barely felt his shirt graze over his head as the blonde removed it, still too entranced with these new feelings and how his blonde's touch was setting fire to his skin. Bare back lain upon the sheets, Sephiroth hazily watched Cloud maneuver between his thighs and drop to kiss and tease at the pale, sweaty skin of his abdomen. Small hands slid down to tug at the General's loose black slacks and Cloud looked up into Sephiroth's eyes, seeking permission. With a tiny groan, the silver warrior nodded and closed his eyes, lifting his hips. Almost immediately he felt the warm breeze from the window move across the skin of his thighs and realized that this was the last chance he would have to stop things. It was a fleeting thought, as Cloud reversed their positions and left Sephiroth to do as he so chose. Blankly, the General stared down at the beautiful body beneath his, and blushed. Two small hands rested on his hips and he looked up into azure eyes.

"Go ahead, Sephiroth. I want you to feel everything you want."

His blush deepened and he hesitated. He didn't know how to be in control. All he knew was how to hurt someone; he'd never experienced the act of making love in itself. How was he supposed to continue?

"I… I don't know ..what to do…"

The blonde smiled lovingly and rubbed the General's sides comfortingly.

"Would you like me to show you?"

Silver head nodding timidly, Sephiroth looked away from Cloud's eyes and felt himself being moved so their positions were reversed.

"Later you can take my position, love. Find out for yourself which you enjoy more."

Cloud slid from the bed and walked into the bathroom to return momentarily with a bottle of lotion. He would have preferred real lubricant, but he hadn't expected Sephiroth to want anything physical for a while yet.

Eyeing the bottle curiously, the silver warrior waited patiently on his back on the bed as Cloud got back up and crawled over to him. Having no idea what his blonde was planning on, being used to just being taken and spending all his time in pain, he watched with innocent curiosity as Cloud squeezed some lotion onto his fingers and moved them out of his view while his golden head dropped to kiss and nip at the General's thighs at the juncture to his hip. It felt surprisingly good when one of those fingers started circling the tight ring of muscles he had never willingly felt anything enter. The finger slowly pressed down with each circumference until it penetrated him and Sephiroth gasped. The digit started rubbing inside of him and he moaned; being taken by Cloud was incredible. There was no pain yet in what was happening, and the finger wriggling around inside of him was starting to feel really, really fantastic.

When the second finger penetrated, he began to feel his inner walls stretching but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. In fact, the deeper his blonde's fingers went, the better it felt. Sephiroth moaned, pushing against the blonde's fingers as Cloud slid them around and scissored them inside the General's very willing body. When his sunshine grazed a small part of him deep inside, his body spasmed harshly and Sephiroth bucked upright, clawing his arms around Cloud's torso. Mako emerald eyes glowing brightly, he stayed tightly gripped onto his blonde as the intense pleasure that had left him breathless faded. It never felt like this before. A third finger entered him as he flopped back onto the bed, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself. Three fingers was beginning to feel odd, but it was still not really unpleasant. Cloud continued teasing that spot inside of him and any unpleasantness faded to nothing quickly.

After several minutes of pure torture to Sephiroth's nerves, the blonde retracted his fingers to look up at the General's face. Emerald eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, as if the spirit of the man were in a different place entirely. In moments, the blank stare reverted to the usual sharpness of those bright Mako eyes and the silver head tilted barely to look into azure pools.

"Why… why did you stop…?"

The breathless question stated the answer to both of Cloud's unspoken questions. First of all, Sephiroth was willing to continue; and second of all, the blank stare was not because of pain, merely the General was absorbed in what he was feeling. Still, it was disconcerting to look into eyes that weren't there.

"Sephi-!"

He was cut short as the silver warrior grabbed his head and pulled him down for a passionate kiss, pushing his taut thighs against his blonde's hips and gripping him in place. One small hand gripped liquid silver, pulling the General's head up closer as Cloud deepened the kiss, drawing Sephiroth's tongue out of the confines of his mouth to battle. A small trail of saliva made its path down the General's throat, making him even more aware of his own heightened sensitivity as even that stimulated his nerves. The hand on his hair slowly released and moved down, lightly tracing Sephiroth's neck and shoulders, before running down over the pale chest. Drawing slowly down over the sternum, the hand then started to trace every muscle in the General's abdomen, feeling each quiver beneath his palm. Moaning into the kiss, Sephiroth felt the stirring in his lower regions grow and subconsciously began to thrust his hips just slightly, suddenly desperate for movement.

Gripping the silver warrior's thighs with both hands, Cloud stilled the body beneath him and drew Sephiroth toward him, carefully guiding him against his achingly untouched member. Before pushing inside the prone form, the blonde pulled back just enough to break the kiss and moved up to kiss the General's forehead gently. Panting, emerald eyes hazily looked up into azure and the blonde smiled softly. Seeing the silver warrior still willing to continue, Cloud nuzzled down into the juncture of Sephiroth's neck and shoulder and started suckling, licking, nipping, kissing, and biting at one sole spot as he began his slow penetration of the man beneath him.

The General groaned as Cloud suckled on his skin, absently feeling himself being stretched but feeling no pain at all. He brought his fingers through silky blonde strands as he panted, feeling fire in his blood. A few soft moans escaped his lips and he let his head lull to one side, making the blonde's mouth even more apparent to his already overexcited nerves. It took the silver warrior a few moments to realize when his blonde was finally seated perfectly inside of him, just letting his body adjust.

Oh gods… it was wonderful-everything Sephiroth felt, every new experience Cloud gave him, all uncovered something deep inside of him that he had hidden since he was a child. Unadulterated, pure love seeped forth as the blonde rocked inside of him and they moaned in unison. The slow gyration of bodies and the loving embrace of spirits stole Sephiroth's breath. It was an experience beyond comprehension. Nothing could have prepared him for the soul-shattering night of the purest passion he could ever know. This was what it meant to make love to someone; not anything that Hojo had done, but what made each second more amazing than the last.

A knot slowly began to form in his abdomen and he whimpered, reaching for and pulling his sunshine down for a kiss. They reached for each other again, tongues warring in the space between them before lips sealed the inner workings away. Cloud momentarily ceased moving, brushing a few stray strands of silver away from Sephiroth's face and breaking the kiss to look down at him, allowing them both air. Silver hair haloed his pale, angular features and a deep red flush colored the General's cheeks as he hazily gazed up at his blonde, emerald eyes glazed with passion. He was stunning and Cloud realized that this was the one-the only person he would ever want to be with again. This moment, these feelings, proved it.

"I love you."

Both in unison, the words sealed them to each other. Cloud began to thrust deeper into his lover and Sephiroth cried out, arching up as the knot in his abdomen tightened. Before he had the chance to recover, his blonde grasped his neglected, rock-hard member and started to slowly pump it. Unable to hold it back, the silver warrior moaned loudly, tears slowly slipping from his eyes. It was heaven; there was just too much pleasure surrounding him now.

Soaking in the keening cries of rapture, the blonde continued his torment as he felt his loins tighten. He wanted them to reach the true heights of ecstasy together, but he wasn't sure he could stand the pleasure much longer. Sephiroth was unbelievably hot and tight. His pale body glowed with a thin layer of sweat and his cheeks were the most beautiful rose red, eyes tightly shut and jaw slack as he panted between moans. Obviously the General was enjoying what was happening as well. Gods… he couldn't take this much longer.

As Sephiroth's legs began to tighten more and more sporadically around his thighs, the blonde knew he was closing in on the same pleasure that he himself was. Tightening his soft strokes of the General's member, Cloud quickened his pace and watched Sephiroth's face as he cried out over and over again, so close to release yet unable to grasp it. With one final, deep thrust, Cloud felt his twisted loins release themselves and he had just enough time to see Sephiroth arch harshly with a loud cry before they reached orgasm together. Being the first to recover, Cloud pulled himself out of his lover before wiping them both of the silver warrior's semen and pulling the panting man up onto his chest.

Sephiroth laid still, the aftershocks of such consuming pleasure still coursing through him. His breathing slowed as the feeling subsided and he became aware of his surroundings again. His head was against Cloud's chest, chest against his blonde's side, one arm carelessly lain against his sunshine's torso, and Cloud's closest arm was holding him securely. They were both near the head of the bed, heat slowly leaving with the cooling breeze wafting in the window. And Sephiroth was incredibly tired. Nothing he had ever experienced before had taken so much out of him, nor had anything been able to fill the void left in his life. Cloud did; his love made the General feel whole. But thinking on that feeling was too difficult in his half-asleep state and he yawned, curling down into the warmth of his blonde's body.

Cloud brought the sheets up from where they ended up at the end of the bed and wrapped them both in cotton, relaxing down in the bed with an arm around his beloved after he resettled the man against him. Kissing a still hot forehead, he brought his other hand around to the back of Sephiroth's head and held him delicately. Staring up at the ceiling, Cloud fell to sleep with a content smile on his face mirroring the silver warrior's.

~#~

Moaning softly, Sephiroth reached out for and grabbed the warm body next to him, dragging it closer. A muffled groan of protest came out from the sheets before the body turned and wrapped arms around him in return. He still felt the buzz of the previous night in his veins, even past the night of sleep, but that just made him feel less intent on getting up. Memory of the night surfaced in all its passionate glory and he was even less inclined to return to the waking world, nuzzling down into the blonde mop of hair right below his head and smiling contently. A small yawn reached his ears and he mentally returned it, not wishing for the living world to hold him completely just yet.

"You awake?"

The blonde's voice was soft and drowsy, the tone a person who has just realized they are awake uses to test that their voice works.

"Mph… no."

He protested by tightening his grip as Cloud pulled away from him.

"It's 0800 hours; you should be able to get up, Seph."

It took them both a moment to process what had just been said, but for some reason, that ever-so-irritating nickname sounded good coming from Cloud. But the silver warrior could see the blonde preparing to apologize and had to smile.

"It's okay, Cloud. I… I enjoy it coming from you."

His blonde smiled in return and moved back to kiss him before sliding off the bed, reaching for a pair of pants. Ignoring the fact that they were Sephiroth's baggy sweatpants, he pulled them on and pulled the string so they wouldn't slide off his hips before collecting the rest of their clothes and walking out of the room with a small smile and a wink directed at Sephiroth.

Grinning widely, the silver warrior laid spread out across the bed, staring at the ceiling but not seeing it. ~"I love you."~ A hundred different ways played out in his head. All the different times Cloud had held him and told him that in the short period of time they had truly become a couple. It was true, and Sephiroth lazily slid off the bed to the scent of cooking food, stomach rumbling. He simply grabbed the dress shirt he had draped over the chair in the corner, pulling it up his arms and buttoning it near the bottom. Shirts had to be specially tailored to him, but he hadn't had the time recently to get fitted properly. The generic long sleeved white dress shirt he had bought was too long in the waist in order to fit his broad form. It reached mid thigh on him, and he couldn't have imagined why they had such a large size in stock. But he was glad for it, as he didn't feel like rummaging through drawers to find a comfortable pair of pants.

Buttoned up to his bellybutton, he stepped out of his room after grabbing a black hairband and pulling his hair back loosely. Cloud was making French toast in the kitchen and the coffee was brewing. Sephiroth smiled, leaning against the doorframe to the bedroom with a content sigh. Cloud hated the smell of coffee but he still made it almost every morning because Sephiroth himself enjoyed a few cups. Even if it didn't wake him up, it was something hot in his system.

Cloud glanced up at him with a smile as the General slowly made his way over and took his seat, leaning back to watch his blonde with a small grin still present on his face. He contented himself with just watching Cloud's movements, setting to memory every small fidget and habit he had while waiting for something and then every graceful twist of his wrist and step of his foot as he prepared what was ready. Some things he always wanted like that in his memory. Perfectly recollected. Usually it was sword technique or fighting tactics and styles. This time it was a different kind of memory he wanted. Something to treasure for all times no matter what.

"You want syrup?"

"Sure."

He knew he sounded lazy just then, but he was feeling lazy. After his experience the night before, how could he not want to be lazy? Just lie around for the next day savoring the aftertaste it left in his system.

"You want sleep? You sound like you need it."

With a sigh, he relaxed into the chair, strands of silver falling out of the loose tie.

"Nah. I'd miss the view."

Smiling with a small chuckle, Cloud brought over the French toast and syrup as well as the pitcher of OJ and set everything on the table. There were two glasses and silverware already set up for breakfast and the previous night's dishes were soaking in the sink.

"Not much to see."

Cloud took his seat in the cradle of Sephiroth's lap and leaned back against the table.

"Not much to not enjoy."

He knew his eyes had darkened as he saw Cloud lick his lips sensually. The blonde was teasing him, very successfully, and because of the Mako his emotions were easily read if he left his face unguarded. There was no reason to guard himself against Cloud, so his eyes stated clearly the small knot of lust that had only been kindled the previous night, but burned as if years had brought it and kept it ablaze.

"Your eyes are very beautiful when you let them be."

Cloud seemed to be deep in thought when he said that, as if he didn't even realize he had spoken out loud, and Sephiroth just looked up into bright blue and smiled. Cloud was very thoughtful anyway, and he enjoyed being the object of attention.

"And so is your smile."

Cloud frowned slightly in concentration and a light pink tinged the General's cheeks. He wasn't used to this sort of complimenting. Delicate fingers touched his cheek and he almost completely closed his eyes as he leaned into them, feeling the slightly calloused hand brush over his skin. The fingers traveled slowly across his cheek and began a new path down this neck, tracing the curve of each muscle in their route to his exposed collarbone, across the already nearly healed bruise Cloud had made on his flesh the previous night. They continued back up to his artery and rested, feeling the slow pulse of blood just beneath the skin, before trailing back up to lightly press against his lips. By then the smile had faded from Sephiroth's lips and he idly wondered what Cloud was thinking about.

"I sometimes wonder… if some things were meant to be. If fate really does exist. And if it does… then why do bad things happen so often? If only to prepare you for worse, than why continue to go through with it? But… if it is only to test you to see if you're worthy of the good, than why so harsh?"

The blankness in the blue eyes suddenly sharpened, as if he was returning from the very center of himself, and he looked up into Sephiroth's eyes. A smirk lightened the blonde's face and he hugged the General tightly.

"I guess whatever makes life work is worthwhile if it ends up like this."

A soft smile returned to Sephiroth's face as he returned the embrace, rubbing his cheek against silky gold and sighing contently. That was certainly true. At this point, whether fate or other things, whatever made life work was turning much better.

The lithe body squeezing him pushed back against his chest and he loosened his grip so Cloud was just sitting gracefully in his lap, arms hooked over silver and around his neck. They looked into each other's eyes for a few minutes before the blonde bent in to kiss the silver warrior softly and reached back to grope for a piece of French toast behind him. When he had managed to grab one he suddenly pulled back from the kiss and mashed it into Sephiroth's mouth before he could move forward to continue the kiss.

"Eat before it gets cold."

Cloud was grinning widely and Sephiroth himself smiled slightly as he chewed up the toast shoved half into his mouth, ripping off with his hand what wasn't past his lips. Swallowing the food in his mouth he reached for his glass as Cloud poured the OJ into it. After clearing his mouth of all contents, he grinned and looked up at Cloud's eyes lazily.

"If you wanted me to stop, you could have just asked."

"What would be the fun in that?"

They both grinned and moved into one another's lips for another kiss. The main door to the apartment opened just as they pulled away and they both turned lazy eyes to the door to see Zax standing there.

"Jeez you two need a room."

"This is my room, Zax."

"A bedroom Seph."

"I have to eat sometime."

"Too much information, old man!"

"He doesn't act very old…"

Cloud started kissing the General's neck at the juncture to his shoulder, knowing the jade eyes would darken to emerald again.

"Damn, Cloud. What happened to perfect professionalism?"

"I'm not a professional anything."

Sephiroth forced the groan that was surging up back down his throat and dropped his head back, letting Cloud have greater access to his neck. He'd be damned if he couldn't do what he wanted in his own quarters.

Zax grunted and took his seat across the table, taking a large stack of French toast on the plate.

"Well at least try not to be so flagrant about it while I eat."

Sephiroth abruptly turned his head back up to look at Zax, eyes darker than before, with a smirk on his lips.

"I believe you are the one that beds every person you can, Zax. What's wrong with me enjoying myself in my own home? You enjoy yourself wherever there's a person to be with."

"Ouh, ouch, that hurts. All right, all right. I'll eat and be on my way. Oh, and Heidegger wants to talk to you. He said something about a new mission."

"…Alright…"

It was becoming difficult not to moan as Cloud began to deliberately tease his inner thighs, suckling on one sole spot of his neck. He noticed Zax looking at the other bruise on his neck with a kind of detached interest before brown eyes brightened and he smiled.

"So who's the seme?"

Sephiroth looked slightly confused at the question, not really knowing the terminologies that Zax enjoyed so much.

"Neither of us."

Cloud's tone was rather clipped as he continued suckling on Sephiroth's neck. He wanted a nice bruise that stayed for a bit longer.

"Oh come on, one of you has to do the other."

"Let's just say I go both ways."

It was just as clipped as before, leaving no room for arguments, and Cloud turned to push down into Sephiroth's lap hard, causing an involuntary moan to escape. His body had reacted to Cloud's touch and now the General had the entire lithe little body pressed up against his hardened member. He bit into Cloud's shoulder to keep from bucking up and hugged the blonde's waist, emerald eyes squeezed tightly shut. Zax watched with a smirk before grabbing a drink of OJ and standing up.

"Well, far be it from me to stop such a wonderful moment, but Heidegger wants you by 0900, and its 0830 now."

"He'll be there on time."

Zax shrugged and turned to the door, stepping back out and leaving them be.

"You will be there on time."

"Ngh."

He was still attached to his blonde, afraid that any movement would be a thrust upward, and he absolutely knew that his dress shirt was not covering him any longer.

"Later. Get your mission objectives. We'll have time later."

He pushed himself back and Sephiroth momentarily forgot to breathe. Pulling himself out of the warm lap of his lover was slightly irritating- he had been enjoying himself- but the man was also his superior and needed to continue his duties. Besides, he had a final today that would pass him through all his academic courses. He still hated guns, but he needed to learn them before he could pass all the physical exams and enter SOLDIER.

"Get up. Get dressed. Get moving."

Suddenly drained, Sephiroth stood up and wandered into his bedroom to get dressed to see his superior, getting frustrated when he couldn't get himself to calm down enough to close his pants. He eventually just walked into the bathroom with his pants open and relieved himself so he could go to work, easily recalling the previous night to bring himself to climax faster. Cloud was fully dressed in his uniform when the General emerged, ready for his duties, and he eyed the blonde suspiciously.

"Where are you off to?"

"I have an exam today."

"Oh yes, you told me that yesterday before you left for class."

"Do I get a good luck kiss?"

"Do I get you to myself later?"

Cloud grinned and lazily strolled up next to him.

"Don't get yourself horny again; leather can't be comfortable for it."

The General smirked, a light pink tinge on his cheeks, and bent down to kiss his blonde.

"I'll get you for that later."

"Promise?"

"Now you're trying to make it uncomfortable for me."

"Fine, fine. I officially stop thinking about your naked body as of the end of this sentence. Strictly professional until tonight. Deal?"

"Deal."

They shared a chaste kiss before leaving the room, both going in different directions.

~#~

The meeting had been boring as usual, nothing unexpected, but it was a mission out to Gongaga. Something about a Mako leak. And, of course, he needed to bring a Mako specialist. Meaning, a regular soldier was tagging along for the ride with no clue about fighting the things that those Mako leaks produce. He of course had to take Zax, because it was supposedly going to be very hazardous, but he also had the choice of one other soldier to take with him. Cloud was taking the written exams today, and he wasn't leaving for two more days. If Cloud passed, the scores would be posted within the day. Cloud was, of course, his first choice. The blonde was spectacular at fighting opponents, as proven during several field tests, and he wanted the company anyway. But he had to focus on getting the last of the papers and reports sorted and dealt with appropriately before he left, and thinking about Cloud was in no way helping.

Legs propped against his desk, Sephiroth leaned back in his chair with his reading glasses on and read over one of the last five documents he had to look at before the mission. Then there were the mission papers themselves. But those wouldn't be a problem. In fact, those would be easily dealt with once he got back to his room. Back to Cloud. //Focus!//

He stared down at the papers, flipping through them quickly and efficiently to the realization that the sooner they were done, the sooner he could be back with the object of his affection and constant attention.

*Knock* *knock*

Glancing up slightly from his papers, head still down but eyes above the frames, he groaned mentally. He needed to get his work done.

"Come in."

The door opened to his second and he sighed, eyes returning to his work.

"What would you like, Zax?"

"Now, now, it isn't nice to chop the head off the messenger before he gives the message."

"You have yet to catch my interests."

"Cloud."

Sephiroth perked and brought his head up, letting his hand relax with the papers in his lap.

"I'm listening."

Zax grinned and sat on the couch in the side of the office.

"You're easy. Cloud musta' really gotten to you for you to be so interested in the little piece of info I have about him that I bet you're just dying to know."

"Zax, I'm not above torture; what information?"

Brown eyes brightened in mirth and, if possible, his grin broadened.

"Oh, about your little lover-boy? How about the assignment we have that you didn't tell me about?"

"The papers are right there; read them if you want. Later. Now, tell me what you know about Cloud."

Zax chuckled and looked up at Sephiroth from the papers. He half sobered before he continued.

"You're not going to like it."

He almost felt like his heart had stopped beating after that statement. Something happened to Cloud? What? When? He would kill the person that touched his sunshine.

"You know that exam he was taking today?"

Sephiroth nodded, jaw clenched tightly. If one of those half-wit instructors had done something to his Cloud…

"Well, his score was… how to put this… he got a 98%! He beat you and your 97% written exam!"

Sephiroth's mood immediately lightened and he smiled. His sunshine only missed two problems on the exam. He wondered if either of them were what he had missed when he'd taken it so long ago.

"Isn't it a pain in the ass? Your student beat ya!"

"I knew he was good, Zax. It just goes to prove how good."

Zax grinned, gloating. He finally could say that Sephiroth wasn't the best at something. Granted, he taught the person that was, but oh well.

"How can you not be upset!? Jeez! You make tormenting you so boring!"

Both men grinned before Zax got up and grabbed the papers about the mission, sitting back down on the couch to read while Sephiroth continued with his work.

~#~

"Cloud…?"

His quarters were completely dark when he got to them, and that was very unlike Cloud. He usually stayed up until Sephiroth came home and then he'd make dinner and ask about his day. There was no food and there wasn't any light coming from anywhere in his apartment. Concerned, he walked into his bedroom to see if Cloud had just fallen asleep. He realized he was a bit late. It was 2300 (11pm) and Cloud wasn't one for staying up so late you never woke up on time.A few blonde spikes peaked out from under a lump in the covers and he smiled. //Sleep.// It sounded nice. And sleeping with Cloud was the most comfortable rest he'd ever had. So he stripped off what he didn't need on and crawled into his bed, cuddling up with Cloud and curling his head down into the blonde's neck. With a soft sigh, he relaxed into the sheets and drifted to sleep. Tomorrow was a big day. Cloud's first mission.