Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Innocence ❯ Chapter 8 ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimers : : I own none of the characters. Just the plot.

A/N : : This chapter's packed with all sorts of angst and depressing things. Details, details… I feel so bad after writing this chapter. I think I'm going to sit in a corner and cry now.

*word* -- happening (i.e. *crack*)

~*~ -- flashback

~#~ -- scene change

//word// -- thoughts

"word" -- speech

~word~ -- memory

Garnet Eyes

Innocence

The hot shower against his back made Sephiroth sigh, contented. This would probably be the last one he'd have in a very long time, so he wanted to savor it. And get that damned hair dye out. Lathering his hair for the sixth time since he got into the shower, Sephiroth looked down at the black water running down his body in rivulets. The dye was washing out as promised, but it was taking a good while to work it out. And they had one night in an actual bed again before all that was before them would be their bed and their home. Which actually sounded quite nice. Nothing but open air.

Grinning as he turned his face up into the hot downpour, the silver warrior let the black drain down his body yet again and grabbed the soap. He was definitely going to be clean by the time he got out of the shower.

Stepping out of the bathroom in a towel, the silver warrior looked over to the bed to see his blonde curled up on it, fast asleep. He had taken the first shower since he didn't have hair dye to get out-Sephiroth would get him for it later. Smiling at the small form, the silver warrior slid over to the bed and pulled the towel off, slipping underneath the covers. He spooned up into the blonde and settled his head in the crook of his sunshine's shoulder, falling soundly asleep with a soft sigh. Today had been another good day.

~#~

Light drummed steadily onto closed eyelids and jade eyes cracked open in irritation. He had been having a very good dream about himself and his lover. Very good. With an agitated grunt, he rolled over and flopped over to the other side of the bed. The empty bed. Confused, the silver head raised to look around the room only to see it completely cleared of any signs of Cloud and simple outfit laid out on the other bed for him. Thoughts tinged with worry, he dressed and left the room, as Cloud had everything in his duffle bag including the katana blade at that point. The front desk didn't make the silver warrior feel any more at ease-even though he had a baseball cap holding all of his hair so he was less recognizable, he still didn't know how to make himself invisible like Cloud did. The silver warrior couldn't make himself indistinguishable; he was the General-everyone knew what he looked like. How was he supposed to hide from the Shin-Ra if he had no supplies and no way to cover himself? Where was Cloud?

Worried, the silver warrior left the hotel quickly and started an almost frantic search of the town. His sunshine couldn't possibly have left him; he wouldn't do that. Not after they got so far away from the Shin-Ra. A hand brushed Sephiroth's waist and he shot off, not even considering looking back at who that was. Where was his sunshine?! He saw two soldiers walking in the streets and ducked into an alley, now almost certain that his lover had been caught. He couldn't let the Shin-Ra touch his beloved; he would rather go back than let those people get a hold of his lover. Closing jade eyes in frustration, Sephiroth swallowed and started out of the alley toward the soldiers. He wouldn't let them touch his lover.

Suddenly he felt an arm around his wrist and another about his waist, yanking him backward as he was about to leave the alley. Off balance, he fell backward into the body behind him and sagged down so both the other's arms wrapped under his armpits. Confused, jade eyes went up to see blonde above him before azure came into his vision.

"Cloud!"

"What were you doing?"

"I-I thought you were captured."

"So you were just going to give yourself up? Seph, if you really thought they captured me it would be better to find where they took me and get me, not turn yourself in."

"I… know that."

"I guess Tifa was right-love makes you stupid sometimes."

"Tifa?"

"A… friend. From Nibelheim. One of the few people I talked to, even though the kids in her crowd liked to pick on me."

"Were you… close?"

Smiling, the blonde moved to kiss his lover fully, tongues twining for long, blissful seconds. Cloud only pulled away when he knew they both needed a breath and smiled down at the silver warrior as he gasped.

"If you mean, did I ever really love her, than no. I love you with all my heart, koi. She was someone with high standing among the other kids. I hoped that if I impressed her she would get them to leave me alone."

Silent for a moment, Sephiroth finally regained his footing and stood up, looking at Cloud meaningfully.

"I don't mean to sound like a dependent moron, Cloud. I love you more than life itself and I would give everything to you if I could. I just don't want to lose you; especially not to the Shin-Ra."

Smiling gently, the blonde brought a hand up to the silver warrior's cheek and rubbed his thumb against it, leaning forward to stop centimeters from Sephiroth's lips.

"I don't need everything; all I need is you, love."

With that, Cloud brushed his lips gently against his lover's and brought his free hand around to cup the back of Sephiroth's neck. Melting into the kiss, the silver warrior brought his arms around to hold his blonde around the waist, deepening the kiss as he pulled his sunshine tightly against his body.

Unfortunately, the soldiers walking around in the streets were starting to make rounds of the town and the duo had to get out fast. Outside of Costa del Sol, they continued on their way down toward the rivers between the coast and the amusement park Gold Saucer with no further signs of soldier activities.

~#~

The river had taken a while to cross because of the current, but they managed within half a day to reach the center, where there was a small landmass large enough for them to rest on. Hot, Cloud pulled his shirt off and stuffed it in his duffle bag. Before they started across he had taken the time to make a small `raft' out of some dead tree branches and twine so the duffle bag would float across the water and they wouldn't have to carry it above their heads to keep it dry. With a stretch, Sephiroth mimicked his lover and removed his own shirt. The sun was out and there wasn't a breeze today like the day before, so he was feeling the temperature. Of course, the clear river water helped but it was hard going fighting against the current. Even he was having trouble with his footing so he couldn't imagine how Cloud, who was much shorter and lighter than he was, was getting by.

"Koi, we should start moving again."

"Yes, Sir."

Sephiroth mock saluted and they both grinned. The silver warrior had quite a sense of humor and he'd been using it far more often since they left Shin-Ra. It was a good way for the duo to pass the time-bantering back and forth.

"We'll be at the other side by tonight and then it's an easy walk to the forests. Maybe three days."

The silver warrior nodded, standing up and beginning to wade out into the water. His blonde was soon to follow and the rest of the way across the river was in silent contemplation.

~#~

"Ice!"

Sephiroth brought his sword through the just frozen beast and sighed deeply. This was fairly hard work. The forest was infested with monsters and he and Cloud had to watch themselves constantly. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, the silver warrior turned to look over and his lover, silently thanking him for the spell. The blonde simply nodded and turned back to his materia. They had been in the forest for nearly a week before the monster attacks started becoming frequent. Now it was more than time enough to leave. Cosmo Canyon was a very large place and at the same time very nearly unoccupied entirely in every place but the town. There were very few monsters there period.

"Cloud, the sun's almost down-we need to make camp for the night."

The blonde looked up at the trees, seeing the fading light filtering in and nodded. They set up their little camp for the night and made dinner out of the three fish Cloud caught in the nearby river.

Waiting for the fish to cook, Sephiroth relaxed back on his sleeping bag and folding his arms behind his head. No matter how much work it was, it was still more than worth it to be free of the Shin-Ra. He felt the feather light touch against his abdomen and looked down into azure.

"You okay?"

"Yeah… hey; just out of curiosity… this kind of sounds odd, and I know it… but… when did you learn how to cook so well?"

"With my mom. She… I learned a lot about cooking from her."

Silver brow arching slightly, Sephiroth looked at Cloud carefully as the blonde's face darkened. What about his past in that sentence had actually been upsetting? The silver warrior couldn't fathom what he had said to warrant the distant stare, but he didn't want it there. Cloud looked so beautiful smiling; that's what he wanted on his blonde's face.

"It was just a question, love; forget I asked."

The blonde didn't seem to hear him for a while before the darkness suddenly vanished-as usual-and Cloud looked down into adoring jade with a smirk.

"Koi, do you really feel all that hungry right now?"

Jade eyes widened slightly at the coy but throaty whisper before he almost moaned and the pure thought. They hadn't been together intimately since they left civilization and by the darkened azure eyes Sephiroth knew what his lover was hinting at. The hand that had brushed his stomach moved down to cup him and he moaned outright, lifting his hips into the gentle caress.

"Fuck…"

"Gladly."

With a small cry, Sephiroth thrust his hips up into his lover's and molded their mouths together. What a perfect ending to the day…

~#~

Lying flat on top of his sleeping bag, Sephiroth stared up at the moon hanging peacefully in the sky. It had been nearly a month and a half since his escape from Shin-Ra, and he could not have been happier. They were free to truly live, and there wasn't a second of his days that he wasn't grateful to his diminutive lover for doing what he did. His only regret was that he couldn't have seen Hojo die, but to finally be free from all of what happened… well seeing it wasn't that important.

There was also the matter of Zax. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed his friend sometimes. Sure, the brunette was overbearing, pushy, outgoing to the point of losing tact, noisy, and obnoxious, but that's what made him so interesting in the first place. It had been somewhat dull without his friend around, and the silver warrior did wonder sometimes what the brunette was doing and how he was, but there wasn't a thought in Sephiroth's head about going back to check on his second. The man was fully capable of taking care of himself. And besides, Sephiroth had Cloud to keep him company and that made all the difference.

Smiling softly, the silver warrior turned his head to the side to look at his little sunshine curled into a ball fast asleep in his sleeping bag. They had just finished exploring the mountains in Cosmo Canyon, as they were working their way around the island again. It wouldn't take much longer to get through the cliffs and drops now, and they would be on their way again. The path they were traveling would take them straight to Nibelheim, as they would need to pass the town to get up into the mountains, but Sephiroth had yet to be able to see a reaction come from his lover about it. He knew his blonde was apprehensive about the town, but either Cloud was ignoring the thought until they reached Nibelheim or the blonde had a very amazing coping skill with the pain that was obviously surfacing about his past.

It was only little things that changed, but the silver warrior knew-could feel-how his blonde was having trouble with pushing his past back down again. It was more painful for him than the diminutive little thing would let on and there was still a lot Sephiroth didn't know, but that just made the man worry even more. Cloud was even better than him at bottling up his emotions, and it wasn't safe. What would happen when the blonde finally snapped, the silver warrior couldn't fathom. His little ray of light would be the only thing Sephiroth didn't know how to handle if he broke down. It scared him, to say the least. But it was Cloud, and the silver warrior had to trust that his love would not do anything harmful to them.

~#~

"Love, wake up."

With an annoyed grunt, Sephiroth turned away and curled down farther into his sleeping bag. Cloud smirked and sat back, enjoying the view his lover had just given him. Sephiroth still went to sleep naked and rolling over had just exposed his pale rump to full, delicious view. Sliding his hand around into the bag, the blonde brought his mouth down right next to his lover's ear and began stroking him.

"Beautiful, we need to get moving."

Half grunting, half moaning, the silver warrior attempted to squirm away from the hand before it aroused him enough to get what Cloud wanted. The blonde teased him like this a lot in their time on the road-arouse him just enough to make him beg but not actually put forth. It got what his little devilish lover desired-usually for Sephiroth to do something-but sometimes the blonde did it simply to torture them both for a minute before he gave in to Sephiroth's pleading and they made love. But he wouldn't give in this time. Eventually he'd develop an immunity to this; it was just a matter of time.

Seeing that the silver warrior was forcing himself not to respond, Cloud moved his hand down to knead his lover's balls but still gained no response. Amused, the blonde licked the shell of he silver warrior's ear as his hand traveled back and Sephiroth unwittingly spread his legs. But Cloud simply teased at the silver warrior's opening as his other hand made a lazy path up Sephiroth's spine. He knew what he wanted and letting his own desire cloud his mind wouldn't get them moving faster.

Exasperated, the silver warrior moaned as he pushed against the digit at his entrance. His blonde did things like that often, even if Sephiroth was going to be the dominant one. Just enough to arouse the warrior out of his mind but not enough to make him unable to do things. Gods… his blonde was way too good at this sort of thing.

"Get up."

The finger at his entrance just barely penetrated for emphasis and Sephiroth couldn't help but moan even as he sat back on his haunches. Rubbing away whatever last remnants of sleep were left in his eyes, the silver warrior yawned and followed the path of his lover with half open jade eyes as the man left the crevice they had spent that night in. Yawning again, Sephiroth stretched his arms and grabbed his clothes, yanking them on and rolling up his sleeping bag wearily. The adrenaline rush of having his lover's hands on him was wearing off and the silver warrior could tell from the dark sky that it was probably about 0400. Ugh. Cloud kept such an odd sleeping schedule for them.

Stepping over to his lover and handing him the rolled up sleeping bag, Sephiroth yawned again and picked up the duffle bag once it was fully packed. They took turns carrying it, as that was holding all of their things and was very heavy. Cloud kissed the silver warrior's arm as it went by his face to grab the bag and Sephiroth smiled. It was his sunshine's little way of apologizing for any unnecessary discomfort and the silver warrior couldn't really get mad at his lover anyway. Ah well, another long day of walking ahead. If they made a good pace, it wouldn't take longer than the day to get to the river separating the island in two. That they would have to cross the next day, because it was wide and the water moved rather quickly. No reason to push themselves so hard that they drowned. That would just be pointless.

"Cloud, where are we stopping next?"

Without looking back at Sephiroth, the blonde pulled his gloves on tightly and started forward. The only option for the silver warrior was to follow.

"Well we'll probably spend a few weeks in the Nibel Mountains. I know the area. If nothing else we should rest there for at least a few days. We can move on again toward Rocket Town. I doubt we'll actually go into town, but we might find a way to find passage to Wutai. It's nice this time of year over there."

Grinning, Sephiroth nodded to himself as he hoisted the bag up farther on his shoulder. It was easiest to let Cloud decide the path because the blonde had a lot of experience with hiding and keeping on the move it seemed. Besides, Sephiroth didn't feel it necessary to think of plans for moving around while he was kept busy with the daily tasks. Cloud decided their routes while he took care of food, rest, etc. The silver warrior enjoyed not having to worry about the next day all the time like he had to before. Leaving that to his incredible little blonde was perfectly fine with him.

"Seph! Hurry up or we won't get far today!"

Glancing up at the considerable distance his contemplating had put between himself and his diminutive blonde, Sephiroth smiled and quickened his pace. Cloud probably had the same idea of reaching the river. Well, that meant today would be hard work. Best to start working as soon as possible, right?

~#~

"Just go straight through town; we don't need to stop."

Sephiroth nodded in acceptance of his blonde's statement and looked over at the town in the distance. They'd make it to Nibelheim in no time. The place actually didn't look that bad from the distance. Well, opinions might change when they were closer.

Nibelheim was quite a peaceful place to enter into. No one was outside except for a kid playing with his dog and laughing as the pup chased the ball and ran away with it. Smiling placidly, Sephiroth watched his blonde lover look around the town as if in deep thought before he started for a house at the far end of the town. Sephiroth followed right behind him, curious but at the same time wary for his little blonde.

They walked calmly up the little wooden bridge-like path to an ornate wooden door and Cloud brought his fist up to the door, pausing for a moment before three swift taps.

"Coming!"

The voice was soft, feminine, and somehow very beautiful. Sephiroth suddenly became apprehensive. Was this that Tifa girl Cloud had said something about before? He didn't have much time to think on that as the door opened to a woman in an apron with a dishtowel in her hands. She had sunshine blonde hair and fair, purple tinted blue eyes just like his lover. The woman took one look at the blonde and the man behind him before smiling widely.

"Cloud! You came back home!"

The blonde smiled tightly and brought his arms around the woman who was hugging him firmly. Pulling back, he took a step back and entwined his fingers with Sephiroth's.

"Mom, can we come in for a little while?"

"Of course, honey!"

She went in and Cloud stood aside for Sephiroth to pass, closing the door after they were all inside. The silver warrior simply watched the interaction of mother and son for a moment before he decided that the only reason the woman was so enthusiastic was because of his own presence. Both of them seemed strained to talk civilly. Perhaps his blonde hadn't told the whole truth of his relationship with his mother. The woman was quite lovely, Sephiroth had to admit, but there wasn't the motherly care in her interactions with Cloud. It was more like a woman taking care of the neighbor's kid while the couple was away-deal with the kid and be done with it. And this was his lover's mother? What could've possibly made the woman act like this toward his sunshine?

"…So anyway we were just passing through and I thought it would be nice to see you again. Do you mind if we stay for dinner?"

The woman paused from drying the plate her son had just washed before her lips thinned slightly.

"Of course not, dear. I would love you to join us for dinner."

//Us…?// Now Sephiroth was confused.

"Thank you, mother. We'll be back in time for dinner; I would like to show my boyfriend around."

The woman's lips almost turned into a sneer-almost.

"Of course, dear. We'll have a good dinner just like old times."

Cloud smiled, though it was not a very happy one, as he finished washing the last dish in the sink. He handed it to his mother and turned to look her in the face.

"If you would like, we can come back early and help you set the table or finish cooking."

There was an underlying statement in Cloud's voice that Sephiroth wasn't quite sure about, because he couldn't quite understand it. The woman simply smiled again; that same, strained smile she'd been using the entire time, and nodded.

"Please do; I would enjoy the company."

Cloud hugged her quickly and stepped away, over to the silver warrior still standing to the side of the room. Grabbing his hand, the blonde walked out and closed the door quietly behind himself. Sephiroth crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his lover half curiously half angrily.

"What was that about?"

"It seems mother is upset with me again."

"How??"

The incredulity in the silver warrior's voice did not get past either man.

"I am still alive."

Sephiroth just stood dumbfounded at that response.

"She never expected her son to come back after all that time and that long journey. Didn't think he really had the intelligence to get anywhere. I guess I can't really tell you otherwise now, but mother and I weren't really on speaking terms when I left. She… got angry when I came home from the mountains one night and she had one of her lovers over. He was so angry with her when I came in. She never really told any of her boyfriends that she had a kid, and when the little brat just went and barged into her house, ruining her night, that kind of ended things. She hated me after that. That and a few other things kind of decided for me that I would leave town. Not really where I would go, but just that I would leave."

"Cloud…"

The blonde put a hand up, forestalling the sympathy.

"Don't bother. I was hoping that she might have gotten over some of it, but I do believe that we chose a bad time to come to town. Some things never change, it seems."

That was all Sephiroth got, as Cloud turned and walked away. //Some things never change?// Quickly thinking about the interactions of mother and son, Sephiroth's eyes widened. The woman had said we would love you to come. She had another lover coming over and was looking at Cloud's intrusion in the same light as before he left. The bitch was hurting his sunshine, her own son, because she was looking forward to sex and probably wouldn't get it because her son came to visit? Sephiroth growled low in his throat, walking silently after his lover. What other joys were in store in this town for him?

The next stop was the store, for whatever purpose, but at least those interactions weren't nearly as harsh. In fact, the woman at the counter seemed friendly enough to Cloud even before she saw Sephiroth. Not sure if that was relieving or not, the silver warrior simply watched from a distance all the rest of the exchanges among the people and Cloud. Most of them didn't seem to know what to make of the returned and obviously matured and stronger man. The other kids in the town-the ones around 16 or so, looked crossed between predatory and angry that the blonde was back. Obviously they had been the ones to taunt and hurt his blonde lover before. Then, of course, there was Tifa. She… she was very pretty, with long brown hair, big brown eyes, big other anatomy… gods be damned if she wasn't flirting with his Cloud. Well fuck her.

"Cloud, introduce me to your friend?"

Tifa started, as Sephiroth had practically just appeared out of nowhere, and Cloud looked up into jade with a bemused expression. It clearly stated to the silver warrior //you're jealous.// A simple statement, but it was true. The little Barbie! doll was flirting with something that wasn't hers to flirt with.

"Of course, Seph. Tifa, this is Sephiroth, though I'm sure you already knew that. Seph, this is Tifa."

"Pleased to meet you, Sephiroth."

There was that fawning expression almost every woman wore when speaking to him. How irritating.

"My pleasure, I'm sure. Cloud, honey, I don't think you finished showing me the town."

The bemused expression almost made it to laughter but Cloud was very good at controlling himself.

"Of course. `Scuse us, Tifa. I promised Seph I'd show him around."

With that their fingers latched and they began a lazy walk off. Sephiroth glimpsed back out of his peripheral view when Cloud pointed toward the mayor's building to see a death glare from the girl Tifa. He wasn't quite sure whom it was directed to; by the expression it could've been either of them. Right then, however, he was feeling particularly nasty, so he bent down to kiss his love's blonde head and smiled at the small sound of outrage from the girl. He didn't miss his blonde's grin, either.

"You're horrible."

"I try."

A small laugh bubbled from the blonde's lips and Sephiroth's smile widened. Cloud had such a beautiful laugh.

"C'mon, I wanna show you my favorite spot in the town."

Cloud started forward rapidly in a different direction and the silver warrior jerked after him, stumbling for a moment before he caught his balance. His blonde was perhaps the only person capable of making him lose his fluid grace for even a moment. But the enthusiasm was welcomed and Sephiroth jogged after his little blonde's fast pace to… a well?

"This is your favorite place?"

"Sure; I spent most of my time in town in this old thing."

Sephiroth looked at the old wooden well uneasily even as his blonde was climbing it.

"Are you sure this thing's safe?"

"Of course; I used to come up here all the time."

"Used to…" Sephiroth mumbled under his breath as he walked over to the rather odd looking `ladder' and started climbing.

Once he got to the top and onto the well base, relatively sure that the old piece of crap wouldn't fall apart on him, Sephiroth looked over to see Cloud come up over the inside of the tower part, crossing his arms and resting them over the wood.

"Just like I remember it."

"It was this bad before?"

"Are you trying to spoil my favorite spot?"

Hands on his hips, Sephiroth glared up at his lover.

"You know that's not true. This place just doesn't look that safe; that's all."

Cloud laughed, looking down at the silver warrior with a smiling blue gaze.

"You look just like a worried mother, Seph. I always played up here. If it was going to fall apart, it would have when I was younger and jumping up and down on it."

With that, the blonde jumped down and Sephiroth turned to look out at the town. It was a good view from the well, he had to admit. Sighing, the silver warrior turned back toward the tower.

"Cloud-"

He stopped when he realized his blonde hadn't come out from the tower yet. Worried, he went around to the way his blonde had entered the tower and stopped dead. His lover was on his knees, curled up inside the tower. Immediately afraid his sunshine was hurt, Sephiroth forced his body through the opening that was not big enough for someone of his size and stature, and dropped down next to his lover, ignoring the gash he put in his arm from a sharp, jutting, broken piece of wood in the opening.

"Cloud…?"

The blonde looked up at him with a sad smile and the silver warrior wrapped his arms tightly around his lover. The blonde head rested against his chest and Sephiroth sighed, just then feeling the tingle of the wound.

"I found Mr. Teddy."

Jade eyes looked down to see a very dirty, very old, very worn out teddy bear clutched in his lovers hands. Silver eyebrows furrowed and Sephiroth looked around the tower, only then noticing the destroyed remains of what could probably be considered a bedroom. At least, there was a shredded blanket and flattened, yellowed pillow without a case. There were also remnants of hay or straw, like a mattress, and the silver warrior's arms tightened around his lover. Had he slept in this tower? It didn't even have a roof!

"Cloud…"

Sephiroth could hear the emotion in his own voice and gripped his lover as tight as possible. Cloud simply looked down at the teddy bear before he looked at the wooden floor, not seeing it.

"She didn't like it when I was inside when her lovers came. She'd send me out and lock the door; I made myself a bed when I was about five; nearly six, I think. If I was going to be outside, I would at least have something. I couldn't get much, though. She hated it when I got anything dirty. It took me weeks to get a blanket, and that's just because it was worn and she was going to throw it away. I took it out of the garbage. It was almost a month before anyone threw out a pillow. I found Mr. Teddy in Tifa's garbage can before I found a pillow. He was in perfect condition then. Her father bought the bear for her in apology for something, but she just threw him out and snubbed any other gift. Hmph… Mr. Teddy and I had a lot of adventures out here. But when it rained we had to find somewhere else to sleep. Mom didn't like it when we tried to come in. Especially not when it was snowing and she could cuddle up to her lover by the fire. The Lockhearts had a heating vent right at the base of their house; Mr. Teddy and I liked it there because it was right between the houses and we could get warm."

"Cloud…"

Sephiroth could feel the tears on his cheeks; how could anyone do something like that? Especially to a child.

"She didn't give me dinner, either. Told me I'd been bad and I didn't deserve food or my bed that night-any night her lovers came. You know, people throw out a lot of food. I guess that's a good thing. Mr. Teddy and I really had to look hard sometimes, though. The raccoons liked the food too. So did the skunks. They got us, once. When we were trying to get food. Mr. Teddy wasn't a very good watchman. Didn't see them. Mom wouldn't let me back in the house for days. She said she didn't want the smell in her house. The other kids stayed away from me then, too. I smelled pretty bad, I guess. After a while I got used to it. I won, anyway. The food was mine that time. The raccoons were harder to get the food from. They scratched and bit. Sometimes they wouldn't even let me near the cans. Mr. Teddy and I went hungry those nights. The bakery generally had a lot of food during the day, though. Lots of half-eaten bagels or breads. The baker threatened me once when he caught me digging through the cans. Told me I had to pay for what I eat; can't just take what someone else didn't want. That just made me careful. After all, what he doesn't know I can't get yelled at for. That seems to be the mantra of my life."

Sephiroth was rocking back and forth, holding onto his lover tightly and sobbing, just imagining his little blonde as a child having to fend completely for himself-the pains his sunshine went through were just completely horrible. How could those people be like that? How could his mother do that? It was a miracle his sunshine was even alive in the first place.

"I guess that makes me ungrateful, though. Mother told me I should be glad she gave me a home to come to if things got really bad. I tried to come home sometimes, but I guessed things weren't really bad and I was just being a brat. I had things. I had Mr. Teddy. Sometimes she would let me in. Told me I was disgusting and needed a bath every time. Hmph… you remember when you asked me about how I learned to cook, I assume. That was how I got into the house. Cook. Well. I was the chef; she didn't much care for cooking anyway. I got good at it fast and soon enough she wanted me coming in just to cook; I couldn't have what I made though. It was for her lovers, not me. But it was my ticket inside and she'd even let me stay in my room for the night if I was really quiet sometimes. Sometimes she just told me to get out, though. After one of those times I decided to explore the mountains. They said those mountains were haunted, I hoped I could find some relief away from the town."

"Stop."

Sephiroth couldn't take any more of this. He wanted to kill all these people for doing that to his lover. He wanted to take away that childhood-give the blonde happy memories. He wanted to do anything but just sit there and hear that story. Humans were crueler than he thought. They tried to kill his angel. Oh gods how could Cloud even still call that woman his mother? How could he be so calm about all of this? Feeling eyes on him, the blonde looked up and offered a weak smile.

"It wasn't always like that. Before… mom used to give me hugs every time she saw me. She gave me lots of little things and let me lick the bowls clean in the kitchen. Even took me out with her when she went shopping, just to have me close. But… something happened… I don't know what, but some people came to town one day, just passing through. After that, things changed. A lot. Hmph… Things never did seem to work out for me. I think you are the first thing to ever go right."

Sephiroth pushed the blonde's head into his chest and kissed the crown over and over again, repeating between each kiss "I love you." Cloud simply stayed still and rested against his lover's heartbeat, savoring the warmth that life had finally given him. Finally, reluctantly, he pulled away and azure looked into jade.

"Mother's waiting for us."

"We're not going to that woman's house."

"She's expecting us, we have to."

"No we don't, Cloud. You're not going near that bitch again."

"Don't call her that."

"Cloud…"

"She's my mother. I never had a conventional life. I like to think that maybe there was a reason for everything. That she really loves me and she just wanted to prepare me for the real world. She did a good job; I survived this long. Now come on, mom's expecting us."

With that, Cloud got up and crawled out of the tower, starting down the ladder. He left the teddy bear in Sephiroth's lap. Staring down at it, the silver warrior wiped his eyes and crawled back out, being careful this time. Cloud noticed the gash and took out the restore materia they had. It wasn't huge, Cure would do it.

"Thank you, Cloud."

The blonde smiled and they walked to Cloud's mother's house. Sephiroth soon became even more appalled with his sunshine's mother as the woman introduced him and then ignored her own son when addressing what was obviously her newest lover. Cloud seemed like he was used to it and just offered Sephiroth a seat, taking his own and looking down in his lap. Dinner was good-the food at least. The woman still refused to acknowledge Cloud's existence, talking to her lover and Sephiroth but surreptitiously ignoring her son. For his part, Cloud just stared at his lap or at the food in front of him. They hadn't eaten since that morning and the blonde had a very healthy appetite-he barely touched his meal. Sephiroth had never seen Cloud so unhappy. He was worried for his little lover. Finally, however, Cloud looked up, his eyes hauntingly empty, and stared directly into the azure eyes of his mother.

"We should be going, now. Thank you for dinner; you were very kind."

He stood and exited the room, not referring to his mother as `mother' since she didn't refer to him as `son.' Upset, Sephiroth nodded his thanks and went after his lover.

~#~

"Wake up, koi."

Sephiroth flinched, stiff, and opened his eyes. The hotel bed in Nibelheim was not comfortable. Even with his lover cuddled into him the previous night had not been a pleasant rest.

"Mph… what…?"

"Up."

"Why…?"

"Zax is here."

Sephiroth shot upright, wide jade eyes staring directly into azure.

"What?!"

"He just came to town. Meaning either that the Shin-Ra is looking for us or that he has a mission. I thought you might want to be dressed. He only has one other person with him; a trainee I assume. Up with you."

The silver warrior hurriedly got dressed and stepped over to the window. Sure enough, Zax was outside with some half-assed trainee, hitting on a group of girls. Well, at least some things don't change so easily.

"Coming?"

Glancing up at the blonde, Sephiroth smiled broadly and started down the stairs after him. Why not?

Zax, of course, was elated to see them both and had no clue about any of the locations the Shin-Ra were looking for them in. Zax himself was supposed to deal with some Mako leak in the reactor in the mountains and the trainee following him was the expert. They were supposed to start out today but their guide got sick or something. Zax, being his impatient self, was planning on going ahead anyway. Alone with the expert who surely couldn't fight. Cloud opted as guide, after all he did know the mountains well, and Sephiroth of course would accompany. They may not be part of the Shin-Ra anymore, but that didn't mean that they couldn't help a friend.

"Hey Cloud, are you sure we're going the right way?"

Cloud paused from his climbing, if anything he always took the dangerous paths up the mountain, but he was staying relatively safe this time. That didn't mean he didn't like the climbing instead of the path. Sephiroth didn't complain, as he was quite used to the blonde's antics, and the trainee was too tired to really argue anymore. They were close to the top anyway.

"Zax, do you ever not complain?"

"Why, no. Why do you ask?"

Cloud smirked and turned back to the job at hand. Climbing. The path was just up there and they could take the easy way for the sake of that poor trainee. He looked about dead.

~#~

The reactor was a little creepier than most, even Sephiroth had to agree. There was just something about it that seemed odd. But he wasn't going far enough into it to find out. Zax and the trainee went deep into it while Cloud and Sephiroth stayed on the catwalk, looking around at the structure.

"What a piece of science fiction gone bad."

"I would have to agree with you there, Cloud. This reactor looks nothing like the others."

"Nothing…? That's a stretch, but it's definitely different. It's like they're hiding something here."

"Now you're getting a little weird."

The blonde shrugged, looking up at the silver warrior with the most innocent expression that Sephiroth knew his diminutive sunshine had something planned.

"Kiss me?"

Well, that wasn't a request Sephiroth minded, so he bent down to his love's awaiting lips and received a hand in his pants as they kissed. Gasping, the silver warrior pulled away and buttoned and zipped his pants again.

"Sneaky little devil."

"Awe, I was enjoying myself."

"Zax and the trainee are in the next room."

"So?"

"So? I know that look. That's the I'm-going-to-fuck-your-brains-out look and though that's tempting I'm not having an exhibition for them."

"Playing hard to get then? Well, I do love a challenge."

"Cloud, don't you even try."

"Just a little? At least let me feel you up."

"No. You do that and then you just move on. You are far to good at making me helpless and I'm not making love in this place."

"Point taken. I still want to screw."

"When we get back to town you may as much as you want. But this place isn't exactly the scenery of my choosing for a romantic moment."

"Maybe we can wear the bed in at the inn."

Smirking, Sephiroth looked down into the Mako pit and sighed.

"That thing was damned uncomfortable."

"It just needs some use."

"You have such a dirty mind, Cloud."

"And you don't."

"Of course I do, I just don't voice it like you."

They shared a grin then and hugged each other.

"Love you, koi."

"I love you too, my Cloud."

"Possessive today?"

"And every day anyone tries to make moves on my Cloud."

The blonde laughed, genuinely happy for the first time in days, and gripped Sephiroth tightly.

"You're adorable, you know that?"

"I don't think anyone has ever used that word to describe me before."

Azure and jade locked for a moment before it seemed like the entire reactor lurched. Grabbing each other tightly as the catwalk swayed, both men dropped to their knees.

"What's happening, Seph?"

"I don't know. Cloud, I want you out of here. If it's a monster inside the reactor you don't have the weapons to fight him, no matter how good you are with your fists. Please, just stay safe."

"Safe is not a word in my vocabulary, Seph."

"Please, Cloud."

*Sigh* "Alright, koi. Alright."

"Thank you."

The silver warrior chastely kissed his sunshine before turning for the inner parts of the reactor.

Sephiroth still had a habit of overprotecting the blonde, no matter how skillful Cloud was. Well, they could discuss that later; right now, Cloud had to get out of the reactor and see if what was happening was really outside like he surmised.

~#~

"Thanks for the help, Seph. Whatever happened shook everything up."

"So it didn't happen in here."

"Nah. I kinda figure it was outside. Whatever it was had to be powerful, though. It shook up the entire- hey! Where are you going, Sephiroth?"

"Cloud's outside!"

Immediately grabbing his sword from the floor, Zax followed the silver warrior outside-to nothing. Not a single sign of Cloud. At all. Not even blood. No trace. That almost sent Sephiroth to panicking. Maybe Cloud went back to town? There were obvious holes in that logic, but it was the only thing Sephiroth could think of.

//Be in town, be in town, be in town, be in town, be in town.//

The silver warrior leapt off the ridge he was on and started a dead run down the path. Cloud was his top priority now. He sent his lover out into danger and he would never forgive himself if the blonde was hurt because of his own stupidity and miscalculation.

Nibelheim was different when he got there-not in a good way, either. The old Shinra Mansion was lit from the inside in the first place. Even more obvious was that every door was shut and window shade drawn. Almost like the town was shutting itself in a cocoon. What in the hell was going on?

Well, first of all, there was the mansion. Maybe Cloud was in it? What a crock of shit. But it never hurts to try…

The silver warrior stepped silently through the rusted open gates and slid up to the front door. Well, generally being the imposing Great General worked in his favor when dealing with people, so hopefully he could just get some information and get out. Knocking swiftly on the mansion's door, Sephiroth impatiently waited for the response. The door slowly opened inwardly and the silver warrior's breath caught in his throat. This couldn't be real. It was impossible.

"Dear boy, it's good of you to finally show up. Come in, by all means."

//Hojo…// Sephiroth couldn't deny him. No matter what. That just made everything hurt even more. He stepped through the threshold into the old mansion. Hojo motioned him to the couch and Sephiroth sat, crossing his legs in discomfort. There was something odd about the man. He didn't have that aura that the silver warrior associated with him anymore. There was something else. Something worse.

"I suppose you wondered about me, Sephiroth. Hoped I was dead, I would think. Did you not?"

Beady eyes pierced him and Sephiroth hesitantly nodded.

"Of course. That base creature just ruined everything. I shouldn't be disappointed in you, Sephiroth. You're a good boy. You're just confused. That child confused you."

If he wasn't worried before, now Sephiroth was terrified. The demented scientist never said he was good or worthwhile or anything. Something was going on.

"You are a good boy, Sephiroth; albeit easily led astray. Well, I've made it better. You don't have to worry about that outside influence any longer, Sephiroth. I've taken care of it."

"Taken care of it?"

The silver warrior's voice was very small. He never could find power around the professor.

"Of course. The blonde child is out of the picture. That creature that took you. Well, he is gone now, Sephiroth. Rejoice; you can be pure again."

There was underlying malice in every word that man uttered, but Sephiroth hardly notice. He couldn't get past the words themselves. //Gone… he's… dead…?// Dumbfounded, the silver warrior sat motionless as Hojo cackled and walked away to leave him alone with his thoughts. //Gone…//