Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Insanity ❯ Masks ( Chapter 3 )

This is a SeiferxZell yaoi and if you don't like it don't read it.

Disclaimer: I make no money off of them, if I did the world would be a better place and I'd actually own them. ;_;

"…"talking

~…~thoughts

{…}memories

Italics Zell's self-preservation

Zell and Quistis are exiting the small white room they were at the day before, shortly after 4:00pm. Carrying several books and a notepad, Zell appeared to be in higher spirits, displaying his usual raucous and jovial personality. Quistis listens to his ramblings about everything from fighting to eating, while carefully studying his sudden change of behavior.

"You know, I never knew that Doc was a shrink, too. I always thought that she was just a regular doctor." He was checking all the reference material about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that was given to all of them.

"Well, with the new advances in Potion synthesizing, elixirs are becoming easier to make. If she wanted a more consistent job, she needed a PhD as well as an MD" Quistis continued. "Besides, this is a military school and many students need help dealing with stress from the battlefield."

"Tch! When I want to let out some steam I go to the training center." Zell looked at her excitedly. "How 'bout we go kick some T-rexaur ass before dinner?"

"That seems like a splendid idea. Let me just get my Save the Queen and we can leave our things in my room." Quistis smiled and headed with Zell over to the Dormitories. ~ What's happening with him? Yesterday he was reckless and insulting everyone. Now he seems perfectly fine. If I didn't know any better I'd swear he's just the same old Zell. It's impossible for him to be all depressed one day and fine on the next. He must be suppressing something, keeping it to himself. ~ "Wait here, I'll be back in a second." She went inside her dorm room.

"Sure, I'll wait here." After she left he started to have a private conversation with himself. ~See! That wasn't so hard…I want to tell her…Are you fucking insane?...She would understand…Why? Because she's a woman?…No, well not exactly…Are you saying that you're a woman?... NO!!!, she's my friend and I trust her…Well, if want to keep her as your friend, you'd better shut up and smile… But the nightmares…They'll go away…But what about…Trust me, everything will be fine~

"Zell, are you okay? You seem to be out of it." Quistis questioned worriedly. "If you want we can go some other time."

"No, no let's go now. I was just concentrating on my victory stance and stuff. Don't worry." The tattooed blond started to run down the hallway. "Come on! Are you going to stand there all day."

"Fine, fine I'm coming."

They walked towards the training center, smiling and waving at several people who wanted to congratulate them on saving the world. "Does the attention ever die down?" Zell asked in a whisper. "Probably not"

They were approaching the entrance of the training center when a girl with a pig-tail stopped them. She was looking at her shoes as she tried to talk to them.

"H-hi, Zell. D-do you remember me?" She asked shyly while and at the same time finding a sudden interest of her own hands. The girl wore the regular Balamb student uniform and could be considered pretty, but she didn't stand out much. She looked vaguely familiar. Then it clicked.

"Oohh yeah, you're from the library, right?" Zell glanced at Quistis searching for an answer, but she seemed just as confused. "You're uh…you're…um…"

"Mary Sue! I'm so glad you remember me, Zell." She practically jumped on the spot and then she grabbed Zell's hand. "After all you've been through; I was worried you'd forgotten about me. I haven't seen you in the library in ages!"

"Yeah…uh… well I've been busy and stuff." He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to retrieve his hand without being obvious about it. "What about you? How's life been treating ya?"

"Good, good! I've been perfecting my healing magic, cataloging most of the books in the library and I've been writing a book about how the war has affected me and my loved ones; nothing much." She grabbed his other hand and gazed at his face, oblivious to the discomfort of the martial artist. "I've been so worried about you lately, what with all this death and mayhem! I thought I'd never see you again!" She released both his hands to cover her face. "You have such a beautiful soul; it would be a shame if something were to tarnish it."

~What the fuck is her problem?…Can't you tell? She's flirting… It's not working…Invite her to the ball…WHAT?!? Why?... Because you need something to take your mind off things… But I barely like her… Just do what I say… There's no point… There is, just trust me...~

She was still talking about how awful the war was unaware that Zell didn't hear a word she said. "Want to go to the ball with me?" The words came out so suddenly that it startled Quistis and Mary Sue "I mean if you're not busy or anything."

Quistis gave him a worried look "Zell, are you sure? I mean with…" Quistis was rudely interrupted by the librarian. "Of course, he's sure. He wouldn't ask if he wasn't."

"Does that mean you're going?" He groaned inwardly, no caring either way. There wasn't anyone else he could think of bringing and he wasn't even sure he wanted to go anyway. "It's in less than two weeks."

"Yes, I'll go on a date with you to the ball." She smiled sweetly and then looked at her watch. "Oh, look at the time. I'm already late to meet someone. We'll talk later, okay. I'm very glad you asked me out." She started to walk away. "Bye, see you later!"

"What was that about? You never ask anyone out, much less people you barely know." She continued to interrogate her shorter companion while walking towards the center. "You have been acting differently and I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, 'k? People change and I thought you'd be glad I'd go out with someone." He retorted defensively. "Look! Let's just fight with some monsters, beat'em up and see whether or not that whip of yours can still kick ass or if it's a jumping rope."

"Fine, we'll see whether those gloves do anything besides cover your hands." Quistis laughed while Zell pouted and shot her his unique angry look. "Oh, have I said something to bother you."

"The power's in the fists, baby!!! But they hone that power into a weapon of mass destruction." He flaunted his Ehrgeiz in her face and did a series of lighting fast punches in the air. "Now let's go before the little beasties die from old age."

Quistis chuckled lightly. "Then off we go." ~He seems happy. Maybe he really was just tired the other day. He still spaces out every once in awhile. I hope I'm just making too much of a big deal out of it. I hope he really is happy. ~

After smothering several Grats and Raldos, the martial artist is covered in gunk and blood from the monsters. Quistis kept lecturing him on the pros of using a weapon that keeps you at a safe distance from such situations, while Zell complained about the lack of a challenge in the training center. An hour passed when their playful banter is interrupted by an ear-splitting scream. They immediately raced towards the source.

A few junior Cadets were shivering and their faces were pale with fright. Quistis assumed her role as the calm and rational ex-instructor. "What's going on? Where's your instructor?"

"W-w-we were p-playing heroes and wit-c-ch-ches, when a b-b-big din-n-nosaur came out." The tallest one was stuttering and could barely continue.

"But then Squall came out behind it and started to attack it and told us to run and we did and then we ran into you and then you started to ask us questions." The other cadet explained rapidly.

"It was sooo cool; I bet he was chasing after it because that big old dino look scared. He came out with his gunblade and went… take this and that!!!" The youth started to duplicate his new-found hero's attacks and was obviously excited to have witnessed it. "It was sooo cool, man."

"Was there anyone else with you?" She needed to know, in case somebody was in need of assistance.

"N-no, just us." The stuttering was more controlled, but still present in his voice.

"Good." She sighed in relief. Besides some scrapes and cuts, the boy's looked fine. "You know that regulations clearly state that under no conditions are junior cadets allowed into the training center without an instructor. Do you wish to be expelled?"

Their faces paled even more. "We promise not to do it again and to follow the rules and we're very, very sorry and please don't expel us and we want to SeeD like you and…" He tried convincing her until Zell stood next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, she won't rat you out, will you Quistis? She's only tryin' to scare you guys. Hyne, when we were young, we got into a lot worse than this. Like the time…" He stopped when he noticed Quistis giving him an icy glare that could pierce his soul. "Of course, you know you could've been killed and rules are there for a reason so you'd better follow them next time, 'k?"

The taller blond rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Thank you Mr. Dincht, for such a helpful comment." Sarcasm dripped from every word. She looked at the pre-teens and saw the smallest smile on their faces. ~Great ~ "Now come with me to see the doctor and make sure you have no internal injuries. Zell, are you coming?"

"Nah, I'm going to practice some more. And kids don't worry about your savior. I'm sure Squall can handle himself. He's gotten through worse things." Zell grinned widely, small fangs peeking out from the corners of his mouth.

Quistis smiled back, relieved to see the jovial Zell she knew. "Don't stay to long, it's going to be dinner soon and you definitely need to shower." She raised an eyebrow, glancing worriedly at his messy state.

"No prob, Instructor Trepe." He waved goodbye and resumed his training.

~That was good. Keep it up and everything will be back to normal… I know. It's great to feel like this but…but what?... but it still hurts… Damn it! Get a grip and stop whining… You're right, sorry~ Just then a loud pained roar was heard through out the center and a following earth shaking crash was felt. Zell, however was barely aware of it since he was deep in thought.

Squall was walking away from the giant corpse that he had slain moments ago. He held a star fragment in his hand and wondered why a dinosaur would have one and how a prehistoric beast could have gotten one in the first place. "Mysteries of the world" he guessed. He was covered in the beast's blood from a wound he inflicted on its neck.

~Now I need to take a shower before dinner. It was worth it though, I haven't fought that hard in awhile.~ He spotted Zell standing in a clearing near the entrance. ~Looks like he could use a shower, too. Wonder why he's standing there so still. It isn't like him to not be jumping around. Maybe I should go talk to him or something, get him to accompany me to the showers and find out what's bugging him. That isn't like me at all; reassuring other people; he'll probably think I'm an alien replacing his old friend.~ Squall sighed inwardly ~ Okay, here goes nothing.~

"Hey, Zell!!!" Squall called out breaking the small blond out of his daze. Zell looked to his side and saw the brunette walking towards him, the Lion Heart in his hand. His heart started beating rapidly and his breathing quickened as adrenaline started to flow through his body. He mentally panicked and felt the need to run and hide or fight back, grow in him. Blood was rushing to his legs and arms so he could hit hard and run fast. The all-too-familiar instinct took him over - fear.

~Oh my Gods!…Zell, calm down… He's covered in blood…It's just Squall, relax…Stop, stop, please stop…Get a grip… I can't win against a gunblade…You don't have to, he's not going to fight…~ Zell began to shake and feebly put his arms up in a defensive posture. Memories ran quickly across his mind. {He was covered in dry blood and his once aristocratic clothes were torn. The Hyperion was also blood-stained and looking very menacing at the moment………..…. "Nine, Ten…Always fear men"……………"You're so goddamn attractive; you can't blame me for wanting to grind your ass. With your tight ass and perfect body, I bet Irvine and Squall have been sneaking peeks every once in a while"}

"Zell, what's wrong?" Squall looked at his friend in confusion. ~ Does he want to fight? No, he's scared, but why? What did I do?~ He took a step closer and he saw Zell stagger away from him as if he was the Omega Weapon. "Zell, I'm not going to hurt you. Tell me what's wrong?"

"S-s-stay b-ba-a-ack, I-I-I'm war-n-ning you. D-don't c-c-come any c-c-clo-s-ser." He put his hands in front of his face with his palms turned outward, trying to block Squall from view. ~Calm the fuck down…He wants to, to…No, he doesn't. Now stop acting like such a wimp, say it was just a joke and act like everything's normal… I can't, I can't fake it anymore… Yes, you can… No, I CAN'T~

Zell turned around and ran as fast as he could away from his fear, leaving his best friend bewildered. He couldn't see anyone's faces as he ran past them, nor could he understand what they were saying or shouting as he pushed them past them. He wanted to get to his room; he needed to get there, away from the threatening image of the gunblade, away from everyone. Finally he reached his dorm, punched in the code and locked it once he was inside. Exhausted from fighting and running and his fear he slumped against his bed, grabbed his head and cried until he fell asleep. ~I hope you're happy…Please, leave me alone, please~

TBC