Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Insanity ❯ Overwhelmed ( Chapter 9 )

This is a SeiferxZell yaoi and if you don't like it don't read it.

Disclaimer: I own my mind…I hope.

"…"talking

~…~thoughts

{…}memories

Italics Zell's self-preservation

Four friends are sitting in a white, bright room in uncomfortable chairs and an even more unnerving silence. The clock's hands marked 1:15 and the doctor had yet to arrive.

"Where's Dr. K?" Zell stood and paced from side to side. "I mean, she's never late."

"I'm sure she's on her way now, Zell." Even though she had an air of confidence, Quistis felt nervous. It was her turn to speak.

"Quistis…can you come with me into the hallway?" The brunette walked towards the door. "I need to ask you something."

"Sure, Rinoa." They both walked out and faced each other. "What's wrong?"

The hallways were empty as usual. The fluorescent lights shone brightly against the polished floors. Everything was pristine; not a drop of blood anywhere. No screams of agony or pleas of mercy could be heard in the vast silence. The maintenance crews made sure that any evidence of battle and its aftermath went unseen and unheard. But the feeling was still there, so few strayed into the Infirmary unless it was necessary.

"You know that girl Zell introduced to us?" The former sorceress crossed her arms and looked down the corridor to see if anyone was coming.

"Mary Sue, is that who you're referring to?" The taller woman leaned against the door and glanced at the ceiling.

"Yes…her. Didn't she seem a little…you know…" She felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment. ~I'm making too big of a deal out of it.~

"Perfect. I know what you mean. I met her before when Zell asked her to the ball." Smiling knowingly, Quistis readjusted her glasses. "She seemed too perfect then and she still does."

"Yeah, like too good to be true. I could have sworn that she was hitting on Squall…but maybe I'm just exaggerating." Feeling a little bit more relieved, Rinoa spoke her mind.

"No, I saw that too. I don't think the boys noticed, but it wouldn't be a good idea to tell Zell." Her tone went from understanding to commanding.

"Why not? If she's going to cheat on him, then wouldn't we save him some heartache? I don't want him to be hurt." Rinoa felt flustered at hearing her friend's careless words.

"Zell's not in love with her. I don't think he even likes Mary Sue. She's probably just a distraction." Her eyes grew cold with knowledge as she glanced at her surroundings. "However, if we tell him about this, he would break it off."

"I don't understand." Anger was increasing in her. She could feel the unfamiliar emotion distort her views and thoughts. ~She really is a cold-hearted ice queen.~

"Us knowing that she's just a prop, a diversion, would mean that the illusion of happiness would crumble." ~He needs her…so he can hide.~

"If he isn't happy, he shouldn't fake it." Her voice was quick and sharp. ~We're supposed to help each other, not keep secrets.~

"He doesn't know how to be miserable. I was fooled by him. That's how hard he tried to be glad." The tall blonde grinned sadly. ~I can usually see past barriers and read emotions, but he tricked me into believing that he was fine.~

"I'm still a little bit lost, but if you say so." Rinoa felt bothered and mumbled her response. Down the corridor she could see an older woman walking as quickly as possible without jogging. "Look! There's Dr. Kadowaki."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

Left alone in the room with Squall, the young blonde stopped in his tracks. ~Please, don't. Just don't…..I'm not going to freak out…..Great, you're learning…..I'm calm, I'm fine. It's just Squall……Your old buddy……My old buddy.~

"Zell, can we talk?" The gunblade specialist sat on the other side of the room. Zell, in all his walking about, hasn't come within three feet of his friend.

"O-okay" ~He just wants to talk…….Just talk…….He's not going to do anything…….Right. That was a hallucination……Nothing but an illusion……Squall and Irvine have never wanted to…to…do that……Exactly.~

"About the training center." Playing with his gloves, Squall stared at the floor.

"S-s-ure." He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep them from shaking.~ He's pissed off because I freaked out on him……No, he's just worried……He's my friend and I treated him like a monster……He'll understand.~

"Sorry…if I scared you." He spoke slowly, considering his words carefully.

"N-no…it wasn't your fault. I…I lost it for a sec." Chuckling nervously and tapping his feet compulsively, Zell acted like a small child trying to be brave in front of a crowd.

"I still frighten you, don't I?" He lifted his eyes and observed his shorter companion's jumpy behavior

"No-not really. You're my frie-friend." Unable to stand still, the fighter paced around the room again. He pretended to shadowbox against a wall, but was noticeably paying attention to Squall's every move.

"You're stuttering, you can't sit next to me and right now there's barely anything stopping you from running out that door." He raised his voice slightly, unintentionally. ~I haven't done anything to them. I don't want to chase them away…not like this.~

Zell lowered his fists and tried to control his breathing. "Squall…i-it's just…I d-don't…please." His heart was beating madly and panic was starting to set in. ~Calm down. Nothing's going to happen……I can't help it……It'll be okay. He won't hurt you. Remember, he's your friend.~

"I'm sorry. That was too blunt." The brunette sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't want to scare anyone."

"Please…I'll ex-explain. Give me time." A fading smile graced his face, a small attempt to recover from the emotional turmoil inside him. The door to his side opened suddenly, startling him into a half-jump. "Dr. K! You came."

"Sorry I'm late, Mr. Dincht. I had to speak with a colleague of mine." Behind her, Quistis and Rinoa stepped inside and took their seats. "Are you feeling well?"

"Y-yeah. Just a bit nervous, that's all." Clearly more relieved, Zell felt his body calm down. ~They're back…..You feel safer just because of a couple of girls?.......Yeah! Got a problem with that?.......Gods! You're a wuss~

He sat in-between his female comrades and refused to look in Squall's direction. ~You're a coward……Shut up! I can't help it, 'k?~

"Is everything alright here, Mr. Leonheart?" The Asian woman sat down and revised her notes. "You seem a little tense."

"I'm fine." He said coolly. In truth, he wanted to scream out and make everything the way it was before. Powerless to help anyone, Squall felt useless, but to be disturbing and fearsome made him experience self-hatred and rage for not being able to change that.

"Then let's begin, shall we? Ms. Trepe, are you prepared to start?" ~Be strong, Mr. Leonheart. You've come a long way to retreat back into your shell.~

Quistis crossed her legs and removed her glasses. She wiped them on a handkerchief and put them back on. Afterwards she fixed her skirt and adjusted her gloves. She stood up and addressed everyone as if they were a class of hers. "After passing through the perils in Ultimecia's castle and fighting several powerful beasts we finally met up with the Sorceress." Her tone was controlled and even. "I stood there with Squall and Rinoa, but no one else could be seen. It seemed that we were all separated to become more vulnerable. I was the first to fall in battle and when I awoke I found myself in the Garden."

{The crowded hallways and busy corridors buzzed with conversation. Students calling out to their friends, teachers reprimanding them for shouting and faculty running back and forth with supplies; a typical pre-party atmosphere. There was a general air of celebration all around. Quistis stood there baffled by her surroundings, because it didn't fit at all. Garden Festival posters lined the walls, as well as the SeeD ball. Bake sales and Sport competitions occupied every corner. The Band practiced for a School concert next to the Theatre Club who was having a dress rehearsal.

"What's going on here?" She grabbed a junior cadet by the shoulder that was carrying some markers, a flute and a hammer.

"Are you blind, lady?! Summer Garden Festival" He jerked himself loose and run into the crowd.

A trio of young girls walked past her squealing in delight. "Oh my gods! Oh my gods! The Galbadian Grunge Group is playing here tonight."

"I can't believe it."

"The guitarist is soooooooo hot."

"I want to have his baby."

"Me, too"

"Me, three." They continued talking to each other oblivious of whoever heard them. Their words confused the blonde even more. ~The Three G's came in November, not in the summer.~

"Perplexing, ain't it?" A soft chuckle grazed her ear, causing her to lash out only hitting air.

"Who said that? Show yourself!" The noise blared even louder. Hammers and trumpets and tap shoes and singing and shouts and cheers pounded against her ears. She covered them and searched the crowds, but only saw distorted colors and bright lights. Faces without eyes, hands without fingers, everything was moving to fast to be seen. She felt nauseated and was losing consciousness.

"STOP!!!"

Silence; deep, profound and empty encompassed her. The brilliant colors faded to grays, the fast-paced students slowed into statues and all she could hear was her heart beating savagely against her chest.

"You always were a killjoy." The only color besides Quistis stepped out of the shadows, wielding the mighty Hyperion. "If anybody was having some fun, you come and put a stop to it."

"I know this is one of Ultimecia's tricks." She patted her side in search of her reliable whip, but found nothing. "I won't be frightened by smoke and mirrors."

He laughed madly. "So serious, aren't we? Yes, it's the old hag's illusions, but it's not meant to scare the shit out of you." He lowered his weapon and hooked it onto his back.

"What then?" Looking around her she couldn't see any good weapons against a gunblade. ~Everything else might be fake, but Seifer isn't.~

"Just to show you what you're really like. Clue you in on how much you belong with us." The knight smirked proudly and walked through the statues. "Follow me."

"What you're saying is preposterous." She relented and followed him with a safe distance between them. "I'm not getting out of here unless I do as you say, aren't I?"

"Smart girl. There's no point of resisting the witch, so just tag along while I educate you." He entered the library where thousands of whispers and snickers invaded every nook and cranny of the place.

"Make your point." She crossed her arms and followed hesitantly.

"Ohh, chilly. I'm going to show you when you were a 12 year-old bitch in the making. See over there, in the back with a stack of books and no life; that's you." His tone was mockingly friendly, while he pointed at a small girl with wire frame glasses

"If this is the best Ultimecia can come up with, then I'm embarrassed we haven't defeated her yet." Her wit and cutting remarks were the only weaponry left at her disposal. "It must be terribly humiliating for you to be her lapdog."

"Ha…ha…ha. You're really funny." His smirk gone, he continued to speak. "The little punk hiding in the corner wants to ask you for help with his homework."

"Yes, I remember. I said no and he failed his class and dropped out. Is that all?" Now it was Quistis turn to smirk. ~This is too easy. I sort of feel bad for Seifer.~

"He also took up drugs and died in a shot-out, but nothing more." Turning around, the taller of the two strode out the door. The young woman shook his words off quickly and exited the Library.

All of the living statues had disappeared and the Garden was empty and lifeless. Some light had return to the passageways but it was distorted and fading. Their footsteps resounded around the intimidating quiet. Faintly a joyful giggling was heard running towards them. A young boy, no older than 7, with short silver hair and golden eyes ran up to them and pulled on Seifer's coat. "One, two. Who are you?"

Swatting at the child's head, Seifer swore. "Leave me alone, you puny shit."

The small boy evaded the blow, but fell down anyway. "Three, Four. I'm on the floor."

"I swear I'll shove my boot up your ass, if you don't shut the fuck up." Menacing the youngster with a swift kick caused the child to run away, but once out of harm's way he stuck his tongue out and giggled incessantly.

"What was that about?" A silent witness to the whole scene, she found it to be amusing, yet disturbing considering the circumstances.

"None of your business. Come on! We have other things to see." Practically growling Seifer walked on, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists.}

"Just like Rinoa's experience there was a young child saying a rhyme. However mine was a peculiar looking boy and Seifer was mad at him, not afraid." The former instructor kept everyone on the edge of their seats. She wished she could have done so well in a classroom. "He wasn't murderous or anything slightly similar, just…acting like the old Almasy."

{The usually silent Parking lot blared with car horns and broken mufflers and other assorted car sounds. It sounded like a racetrack with screeching tires and roaring engines, but not a single vehicle could be seen.

"SHUT UP!" The red-crossed knight hollered at the empty space and, unbelievably or not, the noise silenced itself. "Damn things making me deaf."

"What are you going to show me here?" Uncovering her ears and walking up to the tall blonde she gazed on to a small sports car that appeared out of nothing.

"In a hurry, huh? Okay I'll make this quick. 16 year-old rich kid with a brand new car daddy bought him. Has a crush on you, offers you a ride and you decline saying he doesn't have a license yet." As he spoke the images materialized as if this was his mind and he was recalling images. "He gets all pissy, invites your shy friend instead and even though you object about how inappropriate and dangerous it could be she leaves and off they go to Balamb without you."

"And this makes me evil how?" She tapped her foot waiting for any attack whether it is verbal or physical.

"Your friend has low-self esteem problems and you know it. So in Balamb she gets drunk, gets laid and dances naked in a bar for everyone to see and when she gets back, in three weeks she finds out she's pregnant and all because of peer pressure." Seifer paced around a young girl in tears sitting on the curb. "She couldn't face you afterwards since you acted cold towards her. So she went to rich kid for help, but he denied that night ever happened."

"I can't be held responsible for other people's actions." She knew what Seifer…no, Ultimecia was trying to do. Guilt-trip her into submission. ~I'm not falling for it. I'm stronger than this.~

"No, but you could have prevented it. If you had gone along, she wouldn't be so easily swayed by everyone. If you had acted friendly, instead of being jealous and petty, she would have gone to you for help. Instead she went to an illegal abortionist and died from internal bleeding." He placed his hand on the girl's head causing her to wail while blood came out of her crotch staining the Garden uniform.

"It's not my fault." Quistis looked away and choked a cry from coming out.

"Of course it isn't. Moving on." Casually he strode out of the Parking lot and motioned her to follow.

The Garden's hallways now had shadows lurking about. If the people weren't see-through, it would have seemed like a normal day. As they rounded the corner, passed the Dormitories and entered the Cafeteria, the two blondes were once again surrounded by clatter. Food trays falling to the floor, shrilly laughter, steaming pots, chairs being dragged on the floor, glass being broken, burps and other rude noises. An endless cacophony of mundane sounds. In the tables sat ever-changing forms, sitting, eating, talking, leaving and being replaced by another body in a matter of seconds.

"Do… have… through…every place?" She clamped hard on her hears and shouted loudly, but only small fragments could be heard.

"What…say….SHUT THE HELL UP!" Everything quieted down and the cadets sat rigidly in their chairs. It didn't seem that they were breathing. "That's better. What did you say?"

"I said do we have to go through this in every place?" Feeling irritated and tired, Quistis acted normally, as if a haunted Garden and a controlled gunblade-wielding guide were a part of her everyday life.

"Not every place. The library was quiet enough and I've avoided the Training Center and the Dorms." He crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling.

"Why? Why not go there?" She looked at him quizzically, looking for any clues to escape.

"Everything you hear and see are ALL the memories that anyone has ever had of that place at the same time." Spreading his arms to stress his point, he looked troubled and regretful. "You're lucky it's mostly sound and not images like at the beginning."

"When she did the same thing to you, was it both?" Quiet and comforting, Quistis she tried to reach out to him.

"It…she…mind your own fucking business. Let's finish this already." He brushed her off and stood next to a couple of guys who reanimated to life.

"Oh, Quistis my love! Why do you ignore me?" He raised his hands to the heavens seeking an answer.

"Get over her, man. She's way out of your reach." The man's friend leaned against his chair and crossed his legs.

"I can't, don't you understand? I sleep in all my other classes dreaming of her fragrant hair and luscious legs." Moving his arms poetically, the unrequited lover sighed in disdain.

"Get a grip. You're never gonna make it to SeeD if you keep failing all your classes." Exhaling in exasperation, the friend leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.

As suddenly as they awoke they froze into inanimate objects once again. "Obviously, this guy is a trepie." Seifer pointed at the pair and walked away.

"Wait. That's it?" Grabbing his forearm and turning him around, she confronted the green-eyed giant. "This guy is a trepie, that's it?"

"Quit whining. It doesn't suit you." He growled at her and skulked out of the Cafeteria. "Move it. I still have something to show you."}

"Seifer was becoming more agitated as the time passed." She placed her gloved hand under her chin in thought. "I believed that Ultimecia's control was waning, because of the battle, so I tried to talk him into fighting her off…Thinking back on it, I see that the mind-control wasn't weakening, but that he was struggling more to prevent something."

{"There's the Quad. Unless you want to hear tone-deaf singing and bad music multiplied a million fold, I suggest we skip it." The cursed warrior quickened his pace and avoided looking at the person he guided. "Hurry up. I want to finish this."

"Mind explaining the Cafeteria thing? I don't think I understood the point." She hurried behind him, her heels clicking on the floor.

"You have a legion of followers, yet you pay no attention on them. The poor saps live in hope of one day hearing a hello from you." He stopped and glared at the Infirmary entrance. "Like with me, people want to know you, be with you, but only a select few has that privilege. I got my posse; you got the wimpy SeeD."

"Paying attention to potential stalkers only gives them more incentive to hound my existence. I must be harsh so that they learn that no means no." Standing behind him, she looked for an opening to reach him and pull him out of the Sorceress' grasp. "That doesn't make me a servant to the dark side. You don't have to be one, either."

"It's too late for me." Placing his hand against the sign, he grimaced as he took a step forward into the Garden's hospital. "Cover your ears before you come in."

She did as he ordered and stepped into the empty corridor. Once her foot landed inside, she felt the most horrific screams envelop her. Running through her body were blood covered doctors and nurses carrying IV bags and medical instruments. Orders to suture wounds and remove limbs bombarded her. Pleas of mercy and howls of agony pounded against her skull. On the floor were torn extremities and endless blood as bodies were dragged to fully occupied operating rooms.

"KEEP WALKING. THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING." With his ears covered, Seifer led her through the gore and panic.

"My legs…you got save my legs, doc. I need them" A dark-haired man with shredded legs, grabbed a nurse by the arm and dragged himself behind her; the shattered bones popping out of the skin.

Inside a room, on a broken bed laid a young boy foaming at the mouth. His eyes rolled back completely only leaving the whites to be seen and his toes curled as his body shook. "Somebody tie this guy down. He's convulsing again." A tired intern tried to hold him down.

"Don't cut off my arm, it's still good. Can't you see it's still good?" Burned beyond recognition, the charred limb was shoved into a young medic's face, causing him to throw up on his incoherent patient.

The doctor took off his gloves and wiped his forehead as a flatline squealed. "She's was never going to make it." Her face was ragged with small bits of shrapnel. The gaping hole in the woman's stomach was filled with scraps of metal and ripped organs. Her hands were only nubs of cauterized flesh. "Terrible luck opening a letter bomb, could have gotten to the Headmaster."

Quistis didn't usually feel ill at the site of blood or death, but the constant shrieks and changing images were disorienting. She had lost sight of her guide and couldn't look in any direction without the feeling of vomit going up her chest. Her body curled in on itself as she fell to the floor. ~I won't give in…I can make it…I have to~}

"Whenever I go to the Infirmary and see how spotless everything looks…it's easy to forget what it's like during conflicts." She intercrossed her fingers together and stared at them for a bit. "My hands weren't enough to block out those wretched screams. I would have stayed on the floor till I lost my mind, but…"

{Powerful arms heaved her up and carried her to a room with a 3 above it. Inside the screams ceased and the bodies were nowhere to be seen. She felt her senses coming back and pulled out of the embrace. Everything was spinning and the lights blinded her eyes, but she could definitely hear a contemptuous chuckle.

"I thought you were tough enough to handle a little blood." Crossing his arms he grinned wearily. "I didn't need any help my first time."

"Was Ultimecia your guide…did she take you every where…even the Training Center…did she abandon you out there?" Still trying to catch her breath, she sat on the floor wiping the sweat off her face.

"Perceptive, but this isn't about me." He pointed to a young girl in a corner. "It's about you."

"I don't remember this…when is this?" Supporting herself against the wall she straightened out.

"I'm guessing the GFs have something to do with that, or maybe you don't want to remember." He snapped his fingers and the doors flew open. "Maybe this will jog your memory."

The child, who appeared to be nine or ten, hid behind a small desk. "When you came to the Garden for the first time, you were curious and went searching around."

A stretcher rolled in with a novice intern. His nervousness was obvious as he scoured shelves and cabinets knocking down vials and pill bottles. Outside, there were older doctors instructing giving out orders to the less experienced. The intern found a small vial and a syringe. He prepared a shot and was about to give it to whomever the poor bastard in the bed was, when another medical intern ran in.

"They need help in the Dorms. One of the T-rexaurs shoved his head into a couple of rooms and mauled several cadets." Speaking quickly and gathering supplies with even more haste, she grabbed the other by the collar. "They need us ASAP."

"What about him?" He placed the syringe haphazardly on the desk, as he followed along.

"He's as good as dead; don't bother. People that can be saved are waiting." She handed him some of the supplies and ran off.

Regretfully running out, the intern didn't look back.

Seifer laughed loudly when all this occurred. "Most of the medical staff here are students. Don't know what they're doing half of the time and the other half they fuck up anyway. Makes you feel safe, doesn't it?"

Looking up from her hiding place the blonde child walked towards the bed. The sheets were crimson and a shallow unsteady breathing echoed in the room. She gazed inquisitively at the man resting on it and with a shocked ignorance at what was going on. Just below the hips where two pulsing stubs with a jagged cut crisscrossing the skin diminutive streams of blood spilling out from the sutures. Looking upward she saw an arm twitch over its absent twin, it appeared to be protecting the exposed ribs and writhing organs beneath. The faint glow of potions was still evident over the half-body, closing most of the veins to stop the bleeding. The man's eyes stared emptily at the ceiling, as his breath came raggedly through his mouth.

"Don't show me this. I know what happened." Recollection as to what happened next caused the brave SeeD to take several steps back.

"No can do." He placed his hand on her quivering shoulder. "You got no choice."

The girl's curiosity forced her to lean in closer to the dying man. His eyes seemed like dark pools, surrounded by scarlet waters. After seeing enough the child started to walk away. A raspy voice beckoned her back. "G…iv…me…shoo." A small whimper escaped her lips as she turned around and saw the arm reach out. "Mo...phin…" Tears escaped her wide eyes and she froze in place. "o…tab..le…" The dark pools were now hard coal, relaying every bit of suffering it could muster. "Pea…as…"

On top of the desk laid the morphine already prepared. Taking tiny wavering steps, the little Quistis picked up the syringe and held it timidly. "Ye…es" The dead blue lips curled slightly into a deformed smile. "In…jet…me"

Her petite body shaking wildly, she looked at the half-man and frowned. "No…the doctor didn't want to."

The monstrosity of a grin warped into a grimace. "To…muh…pai…" With unnatural vitality the mangled body tilted out of the stretcher, the arm grabbing at air as if to pull itself closer. "Mo…phin…"

She clutched the lethal dose against her chest and stood more firmly. "The doctor makes the rules…and he didn't give you this."

"Su…pid…ki…giv…me…shoo̷ 0;" Leaning further out the man tumbled to the floor, making a gargling yelp. His wounds reopened, let organs slide through his stomach and a crimson pool to form around him. "it…hurs…" His hand lifted, beckoning release but the child stood there, shaking her head, repeating the rules.

"Seifer, stop it. Stop it. I didn't know any better. I just wanted to follow the rules, I was only a child." She was hyperventilating, but steadily soothing herself. ~Remember that she wants me to lose hope. As long as I don't give in, I'll be fine.~

"It doesn't matter… even a kid recognizes agony and has compassion. You were heartless then…and you are heartless now. Admit it already." His words seemed forced and uncertain. A red blush spread across his face, as if by exertion.

~ He's fighting back, but I can't let my guard down.~ "No. I was ignorant and now I'm knowledgeable. My decisions may seem cold to others, but that's only because they're objective." Her breathing returned to normal and her body no longer shook.

"These are only a fraction of the pain…you caused and…you act like a bitch…just do what Ultimecia's wants. You belong here, just like me." The vein on his temple pulsed visibly, even though his stance was still dictatorial.

"You're not making any sense, Almasy. I'll never be like you" Quistis stood in front of him unconvinced and as in control as she has ever been. "Being a sadistic bastard and killer is not in my character and it's not in yours either. Don't let that witch control you, fight back."}

"I thought that was my chance to break his bonds, but he ran out into the hallway." Her voice wavered a bit. "I don't know how long it took me to pass the nightmares in there. Outside I found Seifer choking the silvered haired boy"

{Dangling off the floor and laughing childishly, the boy sang his rhyme. "Seven, eight...he's filled with…hate."

"I said shut up. Stop fucking with me." Seifer tightened his grip and felt bone snap. The small body went limp like a doll and fell to the floor when he released his hold.

Jerking up and sitting with his head crookedly angled against his back, the boy started to giggle. "You'll pay…every day."

Watching the morbid sight a few feet away was Quistis. The atmosphere started to darken and brighten as silence and noise shrouded the Garden. Unable to cope with the sensorial overload, she heaved an acidic fluid and collapsed; from the ground she caught images of Seifer during all the years he was around bullying everyone. The Disciplinary Committee terrorizing the student body and singling out Zell in numerous occasions. Seifer running his hand through Zell's crest, messing up the gravity defying locks. Zell running away from Raijin only to knock into Seifer and fall down. The briefing of the SeeD field exam and Zell's tantrum at finding out who was his squad leader. ~This isn't for me…it's punishment for him…I have to…~}

"I fell unconscious and awoke in the real Garden. My experience wasn't as…frightening as Rinoa's…but it still disturbed me." After finishing her story, she sat down and inclined forward. Her fingers massaged gently her temples has she exhaled slowly. "I've had self-doubt and at times almost believed that everything Seifer said was true…that I was an unfeeling peon that belongs with the sorceress. I've tried overworking to keep my mind off it."

"It's understandable, Ms. Trepe. This raises many questions as to what has happened, but it also sheds light on the matter."

"The part with Seifer is what bothered me most. I couldn't help him." She removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I know he went through worse in that hellish place…I think he prevented me from experiencing more painful tortures in there and he paid the price."

"But…if Seifer was real there…does that mean that he really did kill everyone. That it wasn't a dream." Scared and nervous, she clutched her savior's arm. "Wasn't it an illusion…It wasn't a memory twisted around."

"I can't answer your question, Ms. Heartilly. I have no expertise in this area, but I will contact Dr. Odine. Being a foremost specialist in all matters related with Sorceresses, he may know whether this mental technique has been used before." Her words attempted to be reassuring, but somehow faltered at the mention of the scientist.

"At…at…the end with all those things happening…are you sure it was me?" Squeezing his hands tight enough to crush bone, he felt his heart race at all the implications of what she said.

"Yes, I'm sure. I wasn't sure what to make of it; however, once I learned that you went through some torment I connected the dots." She smiled gently, but her eyes wanted to cry. ~I need to be stronger than this.~

"Do you wish to speak about what happened, Mr. Dincht? We can continue tomorrow." The clock marked 3:47, about 2 hours and a half since when they started. No one was in a hurry to leave in spite of this.

"No… I'll talk." ~Remember what I told you…… Yeah I know. Everything but the rape……Right. Good boy……It probably did happen…….No, it didn't. Rinoa's friends aren't buried and Quistis isn't in la-la land, so why would the rape be real?……the pain was real~ He stood up and stretched his arms over his head. Cracking his neck from side to side, the blonde warrior seemed to be preparing for a brawl.

"Okay, here goes. I came out after Quistis disappeared and saw Rinoa taken away and Irvine take her place. We knew we had to beat the bitch if we wanted to get them back, but I got KO'ed and ended up in the Orphanage." He spoke quickly, trying to get everything out before he lost his nerve. "Everything was shadowy and echo-y and I swear I saw Irvine and Selphie as kids run through me. I even heard that fucked up rhyme, but didn't see who sang it."

"Then I heard a noise, a real one, not an echo and it turned out to be Seifer and he attacked me with his Hyperion." Zell's hands motioned frantically trying to express what happened. "I dodged like crazy and when I was going to use Final Heaven…I got distracted…so he grabbed my leg and slammed the gunblade against my knee."

He plastered his palms against his face and wiped it vigorously. "It fucking hurt…it was real… I kicked with my other leg and tore whatever was left of my knee, but he let go…and started to taunt me and make fun…the…then he stuck his blade into my shoulder…told me to cry out…I punched him…and crawled away…my leg was stabbed and …he…he." ~beat the shit out of me.~ "beat the shit out of me."

He tucked his hands into his arm pits to keep them from shaking too much. "I wouldn't…d-die…my blood…was everywhere…and that shitty poem in the background…He said…t-that Squall and…Irvine wanted to…same t-thing."

"The pain…was too much…b-but he kep-pt me awake and I c-couldn't stop him…he kept slamming…" ~watch it.~ "a…against t-the floor." ~good~ "the kid said …the las-st line…Nine, ten…always…fear men…and I do…I c-can't beat a…gunblade…or a gun…Squall and Ir-irvine…I don't want to be…left alone with…them." He jabbed his hand against his eyes, preventing tears from spilling. "I-I'm a coward…I let it get to me…I'm sorry."

Sitting around him, watching his mood change drastically, his friends remained silent uncertain what to say. Unable to handle seeing Zell this way, Rinoa stood up and hugged him. He pressed his face against her hair and held her closer, finally receiving some relief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking inside his dorm room, Nida threw his suitcase onto a table next to the sofa, removed his jacket quickly, stalked into the kitchen and took out some food and condiments from the fridge, laid them out and started to make a sandwich; all this time ignoring the stunned roommate reading a magazine in the living room.

"You okay? You're here sooner than expected. Did your class let out early?" Putting the magazine down and leaning against the couch he watched his obsession upside-down.

Slamming the pieces of bread together and heading to the fridge, the fuming pilot gritted through his teeth. "Don't fucking talk to me. I'm not in the mood for your shit." He took out some red generic powdered juice and filled a glass, spilling a considerable amount on the counter.

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down. Lunch date with Mr. Sugar-high didn't go well?" Gary turned around and rested his arms on the back of the sofa. Watching Nida bang the plate on a small kitchen table and drag a chair to sit in, he felt elated at the prospect of watching him eat. "What's kind of sandwich is that? Is it turkey with mayo? I know that's your favorite."

Nida sat there ignoring his creepy room companion. He was starving since yesterday, because he was too stressed out to swallow anything and keep it down. ~I'm not going to let that asshole get on my nerves. He just loves pushing my buttons, but not today. He won't get a reaction out of me. I'm going to eat right here instead of my room, because I control something in my life.~

Glancing quickly he saw a predatory look in Gary's eyes. One of his arms had lowered itself and was hidden from view, but Nida had a pretty good idea of what it was doing. ~Motherfucking bastard from hell!~

Rubbing himself carefully, Gary didn't want to finish too soon, he watched in ecstasy. ~Eat me right up. You must be ravenous for some love. Nobody cares for you, except me.~ "Want me to suck you off?"

"No." His hands started to shake as he picked up the glass to drink. ~Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up…~

"You sure? It looks like you could relieve some stress." Gary stood up and strutted towards the Asian. His fly was zipped up but an erection was still quite obvious. "I'll be real gentle."

"Leave me the fuck alone." He threw the glass at his molester smashing it against the wall, a red streak staining it. "I don't want anything to do with you." He grabbed his hair and started to pull on it hard while shutting his eyes in an effort to calm down. ~I'm in control, I'm in control. I won't loss my temper for this son of a bitch. That's what he wants.~

Taking the opportunity, Gary wound his arms around the enraged man and kissed him soundly on the mouth. Once stunned by the action, he bends over the pilot against the kitchen table melding his body against the other; the remnants of the sandwich sticking against the shirt. Unlocking their lips he whispered. "You need this and you know it."

Taken back by what's happening, Nida looks in front of him blankly until he refocused his thoughts. ~No…Hell NO.~ He moved his arms between both of them and pushed out, flinging Gary off. "Don't you EVER touch me again!"

"If that's what you want, then stop me." He pounced on Nida once again, but was thrown off and then Nida was on top punching away at his face. His blows weren't powerful or accurate enough to knock someone out, yet the anguish and hatred were evident in his cries and yells every time he pounded down.

Grabbing once fist after another, Gary overpowered him, turned him around and straddled his lowered back. "I know you're in pain…but I'm the only friend you have."

"Fuck off." He could feel a hardness dig into his side. "Get off!" Bucking hard twice, he smashed the back of his head against his assailant's chin.

"I bih my lihp." Gary sat to the side while blood dribbled onto his shirt.

"I'm fucking glad, you asswipe." Stumbling to his feet, Nida kicked the bloody attacker and headed to his room. Before locking the door, he hollered. "Try that again and I'll rip your throat out."

Ripping his soiled shirt and throwing into the trash, he paced back and forth in his room taking deep breaths. ~Calm down, calm down, calm down…who am I fucking kidding?~

TBC

A/N

Quistis flashback was the longest because she was the first to be taken away. Rinoa the second longest and Zell the shortest because of the same reason. The Garden thing was supposed to be much longer but I couldn't do it, so instead I made it seem that Seifer was avoiding some really fucked up places as a way of defying his orders. I mean the Training center would've been a bunch of T-rexaurs roaring around and many, many fights, the dorms would have been everything that you can think of that includes a bed, even undesirable things and the quad would have been what Seifer said. I also wanted to show how his self-control differs from one flashback to another. With Quistis he's practically civil, with Rinoa he's slightly psychotic and with Zell he's completely outta control, also following the order.

And yes, Nida. I really like him. But he has little hope in my fic. And yes, it's THAT mayo.

So how did you like this chapter? Favorite part? Please review and tell me because he took me a lot of effort. ^_^

Next chapter is only Fujin, Raijin and Seifer since I've been neglecting them.