Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Lightning. ❯ Chapter, the Twenty-Seventh: In Which Irvine and Zell Talk. ( Chapter 27 )

Kitty: Oo! They talk! What do they talk about?!

Eoko: It's your chapter, silly. And besides, we can't tell them before they read it.

Kitty: Oh... yeah, that's true. Especially since some people have actually said that they read this rediculous drabble we seem obsessed with doing at the beginning of each chapter...

Eoko: Well, if I recall correctly, someone got all pouty one time when she didn't get to do Author's Notes.

Kitty: Was that me...? Oh, yeah it was! Well, I like attention! LOOK AT ME FOR I AM KITTY!

Eoko: -puts a censor box over Kitty- I don't know where she went. Go read the fic.

Kitty: -muffled squealing-

Eoko: -smiles brightly- Okay, off you go. Shoo, shoo, read away.

Chapter, the Twenty-Seventh: In Which Irvine and Zell Talk.

Fuck him. Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. Fuck. Him.

That felt mildly better, Seifer thought, staring at the computer screen full of “fuck him”s. Stupid make-up classes. He didn’t need to attend anyway. He’d heard everything the instructor was saying a thousand times before, but it was a mandatory requirement for the Field Exam, just like the written test.

Seifer snarled silently. Just the thought of the stupid Field Exam made him want to wring Irvine’s neck. How they could put him under the damn cowboy?! It was just… just… wrong.

Maybe it was a good thing that he still had a couple weeks to cool off before the thing. It would happen only a couple of days after Zell’s last class, but there were still four of those to go. He hated his life. He hated Garden. He hated Quistis. He hated Zell!

Well, no. He didn’t hate Zell. He couldn’t hate Zell. But he sure as hell could hate Irvine Pansy-Arse Kinneas. And he did. Hyne, did he ever. Just the merest sight of the sharpshooter was apt to make Seifer kill him, and he hadn’t even heard from Zell yet how the chocobo thing went.

I hope it didn’t work, he thought viciously, which he knew was selfish, but it would be his arms Zell came to for comfort. And if Irvine were out of the way…

Seifer scrubbed his hand over his face. He had to stop thinking so selfishly. He should just be happy if Zell was happy. But he was – he had discovered just recently – a supremely possessive person when it came to the man he realized he probably lov- had feelings for. He wanted Zell and he wanted Zell for himself.

Why hadn’t he realized it before? If he’d only been smart enough to see what was right in front of his nose, then none of the business with Irvine would ever had happened, because Zell would already have been taken.

“Dammit…” he whispered, hitting ‘clr scrn’ before he got caught not paying attention. The last thing he needed was to not be allowed on the Field Exam at all. This time, he really had to pass.

But… he knew he could probably do that and still make the experience a horrific one for a certain sharpshooting cowboy…

- - -

Zell dropped Irvine off at his door – or he had been going to, but the sharpshooter invited him in to have their desserts together, and the fighter was rapidly finding himself unable to deny Irvine anything he asked for. It was fairly tidy, Zell thought, but he itched to pick up the couple of magazines and random gun paraphernalia from the floor.

Hyne, he was a neat-freak.

He ignored the tidying urge, and was just glad Irvine had made the bed, or he knew he wouldn’t be able to have stopped himself doing it.

The sharpshooter settled cross-legged on the bed, leaving plenty of room for Zell, which the fighter gladly took. Then Irvine realized they needed forks and swore under his breath, slipping off the bed and going over to a little storage cupboard by his fridge. Zell liked the cupboard. Mostly because Irvine had to bend over to find what he needed, presenting the fighter with a particularly tasty view of his particularly fine arse.

Irvine straightened and turned, then blushed hotly when he realized what Zell must have been looking at.

“Whoever thought Mr. Sex himself would blush like an innocent, hm?” Zell commented, which only made Irvine blush harder, a fact which Zell found highly amusing.

“Well… It’s different… ‘n’ besides… I…” Irvine trailed off, fiddling with the forks as he hopped back onto the bed.

“Besides what?” Zell took the forks from Irvine before he stabbed himself or something, and stuck them in the cheesecakes.

Irvine hesitated, then said hurriedly.

“I’ve… onlyeversleptwithSelphie…”

Zell stared at him.

“No way!”

Irvine looked away and Zell forced himself to quit the fastitocalon-out-of-water impression, blinking a few times.

“Really?” he asked, much more calmly.

Irvine nodded mutely and plucked embarrassedly at the bed covers. Zell couldn’t help but grin a bit foolishly, Irvine just looked so adorable – And damn, damn fuckable… his mind added unhelpfully, causing stirrings deep in his belly. He forced his body to just shut down that area. There were definite pros to being totally in control of his body.

“Hey,” Zell said, touching Irvine’s shoulder gently. “Hey, it’s not something you need to be ashamed of.”

“I… talk a big game, I know, but… I guess… I guess Seifer was right when he said I… I don’t do nothin’ much with those girls… Even… with Selphie I…” He trailed off, shaking his head. He don’t wanna hear your pathetic sex history, Cowboy. Shut up!

“You what?” Zell wondered, genuinely curious. He could almost see Irvine beating himself up inside. They must have put a huge dint in his self-confidence… “Hyne, I’m sorry, Irvine…” he blurted suddenly.

Irvine looked up sharply, brows furrowing in confusion.

“What…? I ain’t even told you nothin’ yet…”

“No, I mean… I mean for what Seifer did. For how we fucked up your life… and your self-esteem and all that. I… It’s no excuse, but I didn’t realize how much… how bad it was effecting you…”

Irvine smiled shyly.

“It’s okay. Well… I mean… it’s not okay, but… but I forgive you and…” The smile grew a little, but turned even shyer. “And I figure you’ll, like, make up for it…”

Zell broke into a grin.

Oh, you have no idea, baby. I’ll make it up to you like you won’t believe. I’ll make you forget more than how badly I treated you; I’ll make you forget your own name.

“I’ll do my best,” he said agreeably, deciding against going with what the eager, teenaged, libido-driven section of his mind supplied. “But… what were you going to say about Selphie?”

“O-oh… that… I don’t know if you’ll wanna hear that story…”

“Baby, I want to hear whatever you want to tell me.”

The sudden blush that crept up Irvine’s neck surprised Zell and he cocked his head.

“Surely it can’t be that bad.”

“No… yeah… I mean… You… you called me ‘baby’…”

Zell blinked, then he grinned and remembered the cheesecake, plucking the fork out of his and using it to take a bite.

“Well, I guess I did,” he said when he finished the bite, then the grin slipped. “I can… not call you that, if you’d prefer…”

“No…” Irvine smiled. “I… it’s fine.”

“Good. Now, tell me what happened with Selphie.”

“Oh, geez, do I have to?”

“Yup. You started to say, so you’ve gotta finish.”

“Or what?” Irvine dared.

“Or…” Zell snatched a forkful of cheesecake from Irvine’s clamshell. “I’ll eat your dessert.”

“Hey!”

Irvine made a grab for the fork, but missed, making Zell chuckle. Then, the fighter offered the fork, holding the cheesecake against Irvine’s lips. He was actually surprised when the sharpshooter opened his mouth and took the cake without blushing. He’d thought for sure that would elicit one. Maybe Irvine was relaxing more. That could only be a good thing.

“So,” Zell said, sliding the fork out of Irvine’s mouth and swallowing when Irvine ‘mmm’d” appreciatively. “So what happened?”

“It were a near-disaster…” Irvine admitted, finding his cheesecake suddenly amazingly interesting. “It were only her perseverance that saved the evenin’. Hyne, she were good to me. She didn’t laugh, or tease me, or anythin’… just… worked patiently until I could please her. And I did. I did please her. But it… it didn’t really do much for me… Guess I know why now… It were after that we decided it weren’t a good idea. I guess… she probably figured out what my preferences were before I wanted to admit it… She’s smart… Smarter than anyone reckons… And… And I love her. But… not… like that, you know.”

Irvine stopped abruptly, looking up and then back down in only a second, if that. He couldn’t believe how easily he’d just spoken to Zell, told him something supremely embarrassing with barely a hesitation. Already he was finding it difficult to even comprehend that this man could ever do something as hurtful as he had. He liked this Zell a lot better.

“I know how you feel.”

Irvine looked up again, blinking and Zell finished off his cheesecake with one final – and almost too big – bite.

“What…?”

“Same thing happened to me. Guess it happens to a lot of gay guys. We’re so determined to fit in and not be different. Only I wasn’t so lucky. She wasn’t someone I knew well. Nothing happened. I mean, nothing. Mini-Zell just wasn’t coming to the party.” Zell caught a slight grin on Irvine’s face, and he pushed for more, gesturing at the front of his pants. “It was a major flop, I tell you. If it could’ve crawled off and hid, it would’ve.” The sharpshooter snickered and Zell looked sharply at him, mock-glaring. “You laughing at me, Kinneas?”

“No,” Irvine said, though a laugh.

“I reckon you are. Laughing at my poor, woe-begone, limp Mini-Zell!”

“No!” the sharpshooter insisted, but he could barely form the word in his fit of laughter. What had been a supremely embarrassing situation to talk about had suddenly become hysterically funny.

“You are!” Zell accused, feigning hurt. “You’ll hurt his feelings.”

At that, Irvine was gone, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. And the moment he started to calm down, Zell stole his cheesecake, which was still barely touched, and he lunged at the fighter, still laughing.

“That’s mine!”

“Well, actually, I paid for it,” Zell reminded him, scrambling off the bed and darting across the room.

“But you bought it for me!” Irvine was still laughing and he leapt at Zell again. By putting one hand out in front to hold Irvine back, and holding the cheesecake out behind himself, the fighter prevented the sharpshooter from being able to reach it.

“Maybe, but you laughed at my poor Mini-Zell.”

Tears were, by this stage, running down Irvine’s cheeks from the mad laughter.

“I’m sorry!” Irvine cried, but he didn’t sound it, since he was still nearly killing himself laughing.

“Aaare you…?”

“Yes!”

“Reeeally? 221;

“Yes!”

“Hmm… Gimme a kiss and I might give you the cake.”

Irvine stopped trying to reach the cake and his laughter dropped back to a soft chuckle.

“Aren’t you supposed to give me the kisses?”

Zell cocked his head again, blinking at Irvine. Here was something they hadn’t broached yet, even though he knew what his tendencies were in bed.

“Why do you say that?”

“Well…” Irvine went just a little pink. “Well… I just… I mean… you…” He was obviously struggling to find a way to say what he meant, so Zell supplied it gently.

“I’m the dominant one? The top?”

“Yeah,” Irvine said, relieved. “I couldn’t think of a way to say it without callin’ myself a girl.”

Zell laughed, handing the cake over.

“Well, of course there’s others ways. You sure aren’t a girl, Irvine.” Zell eyed him. “Not a chance.”

Irvine smiled instead of blushing, which made Zell smile in reply.

“I’m glad you mentioned that, though,” Zell said. “I was worried it might bother you…”

“Well, it’s true though, isn’t it? You… You’ll take care of me…” Irvine dropped his eyes, biting his lip. “Like a man takes care of a woman… but different… ‘cause I ain’t a woman.”

“Yeah, like that,” Zell agreed, knowing Irvine was trying to get his head around it. “I’ll take care of you… if you let me… But…” He touched Irvine’s face. “But not always. We’d still be equals, and sometimes I might need taking care of myself, you know. I have weak moments too, moments where I need someone to hold me and tell me it’s okay.”

“Your Ma…?”

“Sometimes, but there’s still some things I’d rather not talk to Ma about.”

“Seifer,” Irvine said, with a bitter twist to his mouth that Zell really didn’t like.

“I talk to him, yeah. Irvine-” he started, but Irvine was a step ahead of him.

“He’s your friend. I have to learn to get along with him, if I want to be with you.”

“Yes. If you want that.”

“I want it… I can do it. If I can get along with you, I can get along with him, but… b-but not if he… keeps callin’ me names… and… and…”

“He won’t,” Zell promised before Irvine could go on. “I swear, he won’t. I won’t let him. It goes both ways. You gotta learn to get along with him, but he’s gotta learn to get along with you, too.”

Irvine smiled.

“I like this you. I’m sure there’s gotta be a Seifer I can like, too.”

Zell smiled in relief as well. He’d actually been a little worried Irvine would flatly refuse to have anything to do with Seifer. Now all he had to do was convince Seifer.

“Zell?”

“Hm?” Zell snapped out of reverie.

“I got the cake, but you didn’t get no kiss.”

The fighter grinned and stepped forward, drawing Irvine into that warm, tender kiss the sharpshooter remembered so well from Rubedo. But it was so much easier, so much warmer and real now that he had a face, a voice, to put to the name – which wasn’t really Rubedo either. But the feeling of being safe, closed away from the world and all that was bad in it was still there. And special! Hyne! The way Zell’s tongue moved carefully, tenderly inside his mouth, tasted every inch and every hidden corner, made him feel as though he was all that mattered to the fighter, and all that existed. It was so good.

Still, niggling at the back of his mind was the knowledge of what Zell had done, and how he had hidden, and he couldn’t let himself get too deep into the physical until he was satisfied he knew the real Zell. The intention to break away was there, his body just wasn’t doing it. His body wanted to explore this new realisation about himself, and learn what it meant to actually be turned on without an insane amount of effort from his partner. It wanted more. Irvine pressed closer.

“Fuck!” Zell cried suddenly, snapping away.

“What…? Did I-”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s time for class.”

Irvine glanced at the clock.

“Damnation! You’re right.” Irvine paused. “Zell… if anyone finds out… they’ll… they might say something about my mark in the class… I mean… if I pass…”

Zell snorted.

“You’d pass, baby, my boyfriend or not. You’re improving heaps.”

That gave Irvine a warm flush.

“But still…”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s okay. We’ll keep it quiet for a while, yeah.”

Irvine nodded.

“You go first. I gotta get outta my chaps anyway.”

Zell nodded, but he couldn’t resist pressing another quick kiss to Irvine’s lips before he darted out. Irvine stood smiling stupidly for at least three minutes before he shook himself out of it and quickly moved to get ready for class.