Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Lightning. ❯ Chapter, the Twenty-Eighth: In Which Zell Gets Slapped. ( Chapter 28 )

Kitty: Oo! Zell gets slapped! I remember this chapter! Yay for me!

Eoko: You do? I don't- oh wait, yes I do! It's late and I'm in the middle of my FFXI Rank 4 mission.

Kitty: I was playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories last night. Riku is so mean! But he's still sooo hot...

Eoko: And that, of course, makes it all fine. -looks to Seifer-. Allllll fine.

Kitty: YES! Hotness overcomes all meanness! Although, Seifer really is a bastard in this fic... Who did that?! Oh, right... it was us. Seifer, you bastard!

Eoko: Hey! He's not a bastard! He's in love! What do you want from him?? Poor Seifer! -cries-

Kitty: Irvine's in love too, remember! Oooooh! What will happen?! How can it ever be right?!

Eoko: We must find a way! We must!

Kitty: I know! Let's kill them all off! -pulls out a fountain pen dipped in blood and flourishes it over a blank page-

Eoko: Um.... no.

Kitty: -giggles- I would never do that... although I did kill the main char once in a fic I wrote, then a reviewer said I 'had a habit of killing off the main char'... Anyway! On with the fic, and no random deaths... yet...

Eoko: No random deaths! Go read now, have fun. ^^

Chapter, The Twenty-Eighth: In Which Zell Gets Slapped.

Things had been going well between Zell and Irvine. The two were spending more time together, but still keeping it discreet enough that no one would assume anything. There were still two classes to go before they could come out as a couple, and even then, Zell wasn’t sure if Irvine was ready to take that step.

This development was proving to have the opposite effect on Zell and Seifer’s relationship. Time he would usually have spent with Seifer was being split between the gunbladist and the cowboy and this was causing some agitation in the taller blond.

Seifer’s plan to get over Zell wasn’t working at all. The more time the tattooed boy spent with Irvine, the more jealous he became and any time he got with Zell he had to continually keep his hormones in check. It just wasn’t working. His feelings for Zell weren’t going away and now he needed a new remote for his TV. He had been watching an episode of The F Word (1) when one of the leads said “you always want what you can’t have” and he just lost it.

- - -

The second to last class was winding down and it was time to break it to the students that the last class would be both longer and shorter than the rest. Since it was Wednesday they were in the training center and Zell had to round them all up and into the entrance where none of the monsters were.

“Alright,” he said as the group he was with at the moment finished off the two grats with their bear hands. They seemed pleased they could do it, which Zell found amusing. “Let’s have you all head out to the front, get a drink of water if you need it, and wait for the rest of the class. I have an announcement.”

The group nodded, some of them rubbing their hands against their shirts or pant legs to get rid of some of the grats’ blood and other little treats you get covered in when fighting so close to an enemy.

Zell headed around the training center, gathering and instructing the students as he found them. Everyone looked like they were in good condition and no one had had to draw their weapons to battle a T-Rexuar, which was a very good thing. He figured they’d been practically cleared out by the group of heros and Seifer, but there could be one or two still roaming around.

The tattooed blond found the last group just to the right of the doors heading back into the entrance. He’d let Irvine go to the opposite side of the training center to look after the other cadets in case they did get into trouble. He wasn’t stupid. He knew with Exeter slung across the cowboy’s back, he’d be able to handle anything in the area.

Irvine smiled at the blond as he came over, a small one, as he ran his arm across his brow. “Come to see if we’re not, like, dead yet, Instructor?”

Zell laughed and shook his head. “You’re all doing fine. I know you can handle the grats without your weapons, Irvine. And don’t call me Instructor.” He looked to the rest of the students Irvine had been grouped with. “Time to head back to the entrance. Five minute water break, then I have something to tell everyone.”

They nodded and headed back through the door. Irvine was last to exit, looking back at Zell, who he knew was checking him out, all hot, flushed and sweaty from fighting. “You coming over to watch TV with me tonight?”

Sapphire eyes moved up from the cowboy’s arse to his face. “Yea, I’ll be there. I’m going to do another run through, since I forgot to count students when I sent them back.”

Irvine shook his head and smiled. “I’ll go tell everyone you’re an idiot. Hurry up.”

Zell chuckled and ran through the training center lickity-split, coming back to the entrance just as the last few people were coming back from getting some water. “Alright,” he said clapping his hands together once to get their attention.

Everyone stopped talking and looked toward Zell. It was funny how he acted nothing like an instructor and yet they listened to him far better.

“So, next time is last class. Everyone excited?”

The students cheered and whooped, clapping their hands and looking pleased with the idea. Even if the end of class meant they’d be getting their grade for it soon.

“Aw, now you hurt my feelings. I thought you liked me.” He wiped a non-existent tear from his eye and continued on. “Because I have to test you all individually, I’m going to do you all an extra favor and have it so it’s a private session. Don’t have to worry about the rest of your class watching your every move, literally. Now, because I need about ten minutes per student, class will go over the usual two hours.” He took a little pause to allow the students to groan and bemoan the fact until he cleared it up.

“But that means you only need to show up for about fifteen minutes. Five minutes before the test, and then the ten minutes of. Now, to make this easy, I have a sign up sheet and cards with your time on so you don’t forget.” Zell withdrew a stack of cards from one of his pockets that read ‘Zell’s Hand-to-Hand Demonstration’. The time was marked on each already. He was pretty darn prepared. From another pocket he took out a piece of paper and a pen. Alright, first off, all those people who have already made plans for after six this Friday, sign up first.”

He handed the paper and pen to one of students who had stretched out an arm for it and went to lean against the exit door, cards ready to give out. After the students had written their name down they headed over to Zell, told him their time, and he found them their card, saying “don’t lose it” in various different ways. When everyone was done, he took the list and put it back in his pocket along with the pen. Now it was back to his room for a shower before spending the night on the couch with Irvine.

- - -

“Zell!” Seifer called from down the aisle. He smiled and came over with his tray of breakfast.

The tattooed boy looked up from the plate of hotdogs he was in the middle of devouring while Selphie chatted at him and waved to Seifer.

The scarred blond smiled and sat down next to Zell, setting his tray down and resting his elbows on the table. He looked over at Zell’s hotdog massacre and wrinkled his nose. “Zell, are you as much of an animal in bed as when you eat?” Oh, that wasn’t a good train of thought. Bad choice of words, bad.

Zell stopped chewing and blinked up at the other boy, the hotdog in his mouth pushed to the side and making his cheek bulge out a little.

This caused Selphie to laugh even though she could tell there were some issues. She knew everything. That Seifer liked Zell, that Zell and Irvine were going out and that Seifer and Irvine still hated each other and spent as little time in the same room as possible. But Zell’s cheek was funnier than all that at the moment.

“Are you doing anything the day after the field test?” Seifer asked, picking up his glass and taking a sip of his juice.

Zell swallowed then shook head. “I don’t have anything planned.”

“Want to come over? We can rent Pirates of the Kashenrahi (2) and have our own little celebration of me passing the SeeD exam.” Did that just come out as dirty as I heard it in my head…?

Zell’s eyes lit up at the idea. He hadn’t seen that movie since it had come out in theatres, and he hadn’t gotten around to buying it yet. He loved Fernando and Lonny (3). They were so yummy. “That sounds great! I’d love to.” Zell smiled happily. “Can we pause it every time Jecht and Wes have a moment and make up what would really happen?”

“Zell! What would really happen did happen in the movie! Even though they are so uber gorgeous together…” she clasped her hands together and tilted her head to the side as she sighed dreamily. “Yum…”

Zell leaned closer to Seifer and whispered into his ear. “I’m scared to think about what’s going through her head right now.”

Seifer held back a shiver as Zell’s breath brushed against his ear and rustled his hair. Uh, it was getting harder and harder not to just throw him down and have his way with him. Harder, but not yet impossible. “Then don’t think about it, idiot.”

Zell drew back and punched his friend playfully in the arm. “Well, you better pass this year, Seifer, or we aren’t celebrating, ya hear me?” he gave the older boy a look that meant he was serious. Seifer needed to pass, and he was running out of chances fast.

“If I didn’t pass why would we have anything to celebrate? Man, sometimes you really are an idiot, Chickie.” Another glare and hit from his shorter almost-counterpart. He just grinned back at him.

- - -

Zell scribbled down a mark and some comments as his seventeenth student headed out of the training room. Things had been going well, and time seemed to be flying for Zell. Probably because the person he was fighting with kept changing and he had to keep track of everything they were doing so he could make his decisions.

So far he’d only run into two problems; one where the student was wearing something obviously for catching his attention, and another who flirted the entire time. Zell explained they lost some marks for overall appearance and composure, respectively, although he did give them the once over on their way out. What, he was still human.

He glanced at his sheet and smiled. Irvine was next. When the door closed he looked up to find the cowboy coming towards him smiling, and smiled in return. “Hey there, beautiful.”

“Zell, shh,” Irvine warned, holding a finger to his lips. “You don’t know who might hear you.”

Zell chuckled and set down the list, moving into the center of the room and taking up a stance. “Alright, Irvine, let’s see how much you’ve improved.”

The sharpshooter walked towards him, hands above and behind his head, tugging his ponytail tight before moving into a fighting position of his own. Less than two minutes in Zell had gotten his arms around the cowboy and was holding him close.

“Mm, got you,” he said, pressing a kiss to Irvine’s shoulder.

Irvine huffed and turned his head to look back at the martial artist. “No fair. You are so, like, usin’ more of your skills on me than the others.”

Zell just grinned and released him, letting him turn to stand face to face before they began again. Another minute and Irvine was on his back on the padded floor, Zell atop him, pinning his slender arms above his head. “Got you again,” he whispered, shifting his body over the sharpshooter’s.

Irvine panted a little, looking up into Zell’s face. He was cheating. Short, little bastard. But he couldn’t find it in him to be mad that his “instructor” was messing up his demonstration.

Zell moved Irvine’s wrists into one hand and brought the other down to cup his cheek, leaning closer until their lips touched. He started soft, then pressed harder, running his tongue over the cowboy’s soft lips until he allowed him entrance. Once he was allowed that, tasting Irvine for the who-knew-how-manyth time turned into his single goal, leaving the auburn-haired man squirming beneath him lightly and whimpering.

Eventually Zell found enough willpower to pull away and glance at the clock. Ohhhhhhhh crap. “Time’s nearly up,” he murmured, nuzzling the cowboy’s neck.

“Then you better, like, let me go and get up, don’t you think?” Irvine asked, breathing harder now than he had been from the fighting.

“Or not,” the blond grinned and dove to capture his lips once more, but this kiss was far shorter. He knew he couldn’t risk another student peaking in the door to see why their peer hadn’t come out yet, only to find that peer and Zell doing who knows what by that time. The tattooed boy got to his feet and held his hand out for Irvine, which the cowboy took, and pulled him to his feet as well.

“So,” Irvine asked, caught between nervous and cocky. “How did I do?”

“Since I only have pass and fail, you passed. But if I had grades, an A+,” he grinned and pulled the taller man against him. “Somehow I knew we’d end up in trouble during this little test. Damn you, being so sexy.”

Irvine blushed and wished he had his hat so he could pull it down over his face. “Well, thank you, Zell…”

“Well, I only have three more tests to go, and they’re all your friends. You guys are going out to celebrate the end of Evil Dictator Zell’s Reign as Instructor tonight, right?”

“Just not in those words, yea,” Irvine grinned at him. “I can’t remember where we’re going, but Anasha and Illo will look after everyone.”

“Anasha’s next,” Zell said, leaning over to check his sheet. “And she’s probably starting to wonder why you aren’t out yet. Everyone else is getting out a couple minutes early.”

“Then I better get going.” Irvine placed a peck on Zell’s cheek and hurried to the door, fixing himself up a little before heading out.

Zell turned his back to the door as he wrote his comment and mark for Irvine. He was passing everybody, so all that really meant anything were the comments. So what if Irvine’s where actually describing his ability to kiss? With the right words it seemed like any of the others.

He heard Anasha coming in and turned, smiling, to greet her. It took about all of one second for Anasha’s mouth to nearly hit the floor and her palm to collide with Zell’s cheek.

“Ow…” he winced, hand automatically lifting to cradle his cheek. “Test hasn’t started and slapping isn’t allowed.” He furrowed his brows at her as she scowled at him.

“Where do you think you get off molesting Irvine?! He already can’t stand you, and he has to be here, against his will, and you just take advantage of that?!”

Now Zell’s mouth hung open in utter shock. What in Hyne’s name is she talking about?? “Huh?” was all Zell was able to form into words.

“Somehow I don’t think Irvine and your lips got bruised fighting!” She glared at him and raised her hand again.

Okay, this is where I grab her wrist and avoid being slapped again. He did just that, lifting his arm and wrapping his fingers around her wrist. So, Irvine hasn’t even told them… “Anasha,” he said firmly. She only glared harder. “We’re a couple.” And there goes her jaw again. Now she’s a fish.

Open. Close. Open. Close. Well, nothing was wrong with her mouth, just her vocal cords. “Huh?” Amazing word, really.

Zell sighed. “You have to keep it a secret. I don’t know if Irvine’s ready to tell the whole school. In fact, I doubt he is. But he and I are a couple.”

“How? When? Where?”

“Uh… How, cause I got him his chocobo back, when, well, did he ever talk about a Rubedo?” She nodded. “Hi, my name’s Zell Rubedo Dincht.” Gape. Wow, this girl was amusing. “Where. Well, at the stable if you go from the chocobo time, probably on the plains if you go with Rubedo.” Now the big one. He knew it was coming.

“Why?”

“I’m not the jackarse I was to him. I swear. I love him, Anasha, and I’m going to treat him right for as long as he’ll have me.” Oh no, shaky fangirl happy eyes!

“You love him?”

“I do. I love him deeply and I’d do anything for him. But, well, he’s sexy and I couldn’t keep my hands off him.” Zell chuckled lightly to himself. Then he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a little note on it. Folding it, he gave it to her. “Give this to Irvine when you all go out tonight. It just says I told you because, well, it avoided grievous injury to my person.”

She chuckled at that, then stopped when she realized Zell had used such big words. Well, no time for that. She had a demonstration to give. “Okay, okay, now let’s get me tested and outta her before you start getting behind schedule.

Well, just three more to go, and this class is finished. Zell grinned to himself and then got back to work. Six more hours of free, uninterrupted time a week sounded good to him.


1. Play on The L Word, which is about lesbians. The F in this stands for fags or fucking… or fabulous. Whatever, it’s about gay guys, not lesbians. We love them. He thought there would be a lot more profanities though.

2. Play on… well I think it’s obvious. The last part is taken from three regions in the Centra area: Kashkabald Dessert, Serengetti Plains, and Poccarahi Island. It’s the body of water below the huge bridge, and between the two continents.

3. I’ll just go over all the important people right now.
Johnny Depp – Lonny Dett
Capt. Jack Sparrow – Capt. Jecht Swallow
Not Jecht from FFX
Orlando Bloom – Fernando Bloon
Willian Turner – Wesley Tanner
Keira Knightley – Kyra Daily
Elizabeth Swan – Anastasia Turkey
We don’t like her


PS
FUCKING GERETTE AND HIS “I be doing this” FUCKING BE!!!!! GET OUTTA IRVINE’S SPEECH PATTERN, GER!