Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Lunatic Pandora ❯ Gazing into the Abyss ( Chapter 6 )

Chapter Six: Gazing into the Abyss

 

One-Winged Angel: Here we are again, with a sixth chapter to this madness. To be completely honest with you all, I'm not even sure where this story is going. ^^;; I try though, and I think I know what I want to happen. (Encouraging, ne?) I own nothing in this fic, it belongs to SquarEnix.

* * *

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster

And if you gaze for long into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you also. - Friedrich Nietzsche

* * *

A soft moan made it's way from Cid Highwind's chest as he rolled over onto his back in the warm pile of blankets and pillows that made up the inn bed, the sound thick with sleep and frustration at the thing that had brought him from his comfortable slumber. Annoyed the man crossed his arms over his bright blue eyes, his forearms serving as a makeshift curtain to shield the hazy orbs from the sharp rays of morning sunlight that spilled through the open door to the room. Damned sunlight… who the hell left that door open?

Grumbling incoherent phrases in compliance with his thought the pilot turned once more in bed, his back now facing the source of his discomfort in a furthered attempt at riding himself of the biting sunlight. Cracking a single azure eye open Cid rubbed furiously at the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, a growing migraine spreading between his eyes and along his brow. Again he groaned in disapproval of the pain, his fingers now working through his ruffled blonde hair to message his temples with equal intensity, the headache already having won the fight and crept to the remainder of his head.

“Damned hangovers…” A sudden desire to tug the blankets back over his head and sleep the whole thing off crept into his mind as he grabbed the pillow from underneath him, the fluffy cushion now being shoved completely over his face. Unfortunately the ashen mass of feathers didn't aid him in his search for relief, a string of violent curses again leaving his lips as he forced the object tighter against his features.

“What're ya trying to do old man, smother yourself? Think it could wait?” The woman's voice as she entered the minute room only added to Cid's growing frustration, the high tone of her speech seeming to make the throbbing pain that spread throughout his skull double.

“Fuck you Yuffie.” His words were muffled by the pillow, the woman laughing slightly as he pried the white protection from the sun away from his face and tossing it harshly toward her, the object spinning lamely before falling a good three or four feet before her legs.

“Nice try, but I think your aim was a little off.” A tone of amusement was laced into the teenage girl's voice as she paced closer to the elder man's bed, her face a visage of bright enthusiasm and energy - despite the fact that it was early in the morning, at least in Cid's terms. Again she chuckled under her breath, her fingers wrapping around a visible corner to the mass of blankets and giving it a gentle tug in preparation for her plan. “Rise and shine!”

Hastily Yuffie yanked the blankets away from his form, a loud yelp followed by another barrage of curses filling the icy air as his body was exposed, the white tank top and boxers that he bore doing little to shield him from the cool air. Glaring daggers at her form Cid pushed himself into a sitting position, a hand moving to rub at his hair slightly. Turning completely to his right - the opposite side than what Yuffie was standing on - he tossed his legs over the side of the bed, his hand instantly reaching for the familiar package of cigarettes that rest beside his flight goggles.

“Damned brat, what the hell was that for? Couldn't ya just ask me to get up, like a fucking normal human being?” Said brat replied with another brisk laugh, the ex-ShinRa pilot prying open the lid to the miniscule cardboard container and withdrawing a single white cylinder. Sighing he placed the object on the corner of his mouth, his eyes wandering about the room and scanning briefly over the other mattress that rest before him. Guess that's where Vin slept… Damn, I still need to talk to him about last night… Nervously he ran a hand through his short hair, the free one already reaching for the small black lighter that was placed on the nightstand as well.

“Hey captain, no smoking in the building.”

“Who the hell said?” Yuffie gave a nonchalant shrug as the man flicked the lighter to life despite her `warning,' a flame sparking from the plastic object. Bringing the yellow fire to the cigarette he sighed when it was lit, the light swiftly going out as he took a breath.

“Right, just don't complain to me when they kick your sorry ass outta here and you have to go sleep in the streets or somethin.'” Ignoring the woman's comments Cid turned his eyes toward the wooden floor of the room, searching aimlessly for the clothing that had been tossed there the previous night.

Come to think of it, I don't remember gettin' undressed last night… Frowning he scanned his eyes along the edge of his bed in search for the offending articles of clothing, shaking off the question and filing it into the back of his mind for later. Of course, he had been drunk, so it was normal for this kind of thing to happen to him. It happened a lot, actually.

“Lookin' for this?” As if to understand what the man had been searching for Yuffie held up a bundle of discarded clothing, the lithe woman tossing it onto the edge of the bed before turning on her heel, facing the opposite direction out of courtesy for the other man's privacy. A miniscule grunt slipped from his supple lips around the cigarette as he grabbed his pants from the pile and staggered sleepily to his feet, tugging them on swiftly.

“So, where the hell is everyone else?”

“Already awake and looking for something constructive to do. You're the last one up lazy ass.” Snorting at her snide remark he grabbed his auburn leather belt from the pile, lacing it through the loops along his pants and fastening it, the jacket that he normally wore already being tugged over his shoulders and bringing warmth to his cold limbs.

“I don't need your sarcasm this early in the fuckin' morning, alright?” Turning once more to face her taller companion she gave a mindless nod, her coal black eyes gleaming with their normal mischievous glare. Ready to change the subject rather than start an argument - playful or not - with the young female he did just that, his hand again working through his hair, the other one grasping the cigarette from his lips. “You know where Vincent is?”

“Nuh-uh, haven't seen him all morning. He was awake before anyone else, I'm guessing he went off and crawled into some remote corner to hide until you finished your job.” Almost as an afterthought the Wutain girl turned towards his bed, a single finger pointing towards the ruffled, un-made mattress. “He didn't even make his bed before he left; very un-Vinny like. Normally I can't even tell he slept; it's not like him to just leave it a mess like that.” A brisk nod was given in her direction, Cid fumbling to shove his work gloves into his coat pockets for later, the man pacing closer to the bed that rest in front of him for inspection.

“What time does the guy get up anyway, sunrise?” He mumbled the words under a breath of smoke from his cigarette, the phrase more a thought to himself rather than an actual question to the kunoichi standing before him. Regardless Yuffie gave a large grin in his direction, her hand slipping onto her thin hip.

“Close. Sunrise was about a half hour ago.”

“What the fucking hell'd you wake me up for then?!” Pinching the white shape of his cigarette between his fingers he tossed the still smoldering object towards the ebony-haired girl, the makeshift threat falling before her feet soundlessly.

“Nice try, but you still can't aim worth shit.” Stomping on the object she turned away from the man before another, heavier “weapon” could be sent spiraling in her direction, her feet falling in a light rhythm against the floorboards. “I'll leave you to PMS on your own, just remember that the sooner you get motivated, the sooner you can get to work on that blasted airship and the sooner I can leave this freaky, frozen hellhole of a town.” Without waiting for a reply to her comment - more like demand, Cid noted - she paced out of the room, the pilot listening absently as her footsteps sounded down the staircase and out the front door of the hotel.

“Feh, good riddance.” Cid muttered the words to no one in particular, the blonde turning to face the empty bed at his side, his sky colored eyes glazing over in thought as he peered nonchalantly towards the ashen pile of blankets and pillows. Great timing to just run off like that, Vin… He ran a hand through his hair for what seemed like the hundredth time since he woke up not long ago, an aggravated sigh making itself known in the empty room.

Banishing the thoughts that plagued his mind he turned away from the mattress, making his way toward the end of his bed and scooping up the boots that lingered there. Placing himself on the soft cushion he tugged the dark brown shoes over his feet, climbing back up into a standing position and heading toward the door. “Breakfast now, work later.”

* * *

The gun remained in its position, the barrel aiming directly toward Cloud's back, a slender hand gripping tightly to the handle as a single finger curled to rest lightly on the icy trigger. Cautiously Vincent took another step forward, his feet falling silently against the hard floor of the mansion's basement, his eyes narrowing just slightly as he strained to see what was being clutched so desperately in his companion's hand.

“… Is there something wrong?” His voice was empty and void of emotion, almost like a lifeless doll, the man turning to face his raven-haired companion with almost the command of a puppet being tugged by strings. Locks of golden hair covered vibrant sapphire eyes from view, the ex-Turk halting in his steps to keep a safe distance between himself and the other.

He realized what the object was the moment that his companion turned to face him; the large form of a crumbling book being held tightly in the grasp of the blonde as if it were his lifeline in the dimly lit room. Glancing down at the yellow-tinted pages Vincent skimmed over the fine black print, searching to find some evidence to the reason that the man may be reading the tome. Almost as if to realize what he was doing Cloud clamped the book shut in his arms, the heavy volume coming to rest back on the shelf before him, his gloved hands clutching at the bookcase as if he were trying to steady himself.

“Are you alright? You are not acting like yourself.” The man seemed to laugh lightly but Vincent couldn't quite tell, the resonance seeming more like a half-choke more than what it was intended to be. Sluggishly he pulled his grip off of the wooden plank, his face slowly turning to glance at the taller form almost in a look of morbid anger and wickedness.

“What do you mean `not acting like myself?' Do you even know me?” Confused the scowl that marred the demon man's face deepened, garnet eyes peering carefully at the figure before him, an absent step being taken away in apprehension. “Do you really know Cloud? Or do you know someone else that was created to be Cloud?”

Something is not right here… The thought was already an obvious fact before it even crossed the man's mind, the claw arm that hung limp at his side flexing in anticipation, it's copper surface glittering in the dim firelight. “… I thought you already knew-”

“Knew what? The lies that Tifa and the others poured into me just because that is the way that they wanted me to turn out? Because she wanted me to be the perfect `hero' in the little game that she made out of life!?” He screamed the words in an angry blur, his face turning up to clearly watch the other man, a startled gasp slipping from Vincent's throat as he took in the sight of the two shimmering orbs.

Pools of sapphire radiance, brightly lit with the familiar sheen of one drenched in the cursed substance Mako, split directly down the center by a thin pen stroke of a line, dark and void of feeling.

Vincent almost dropped the gun that he had clutched in his hand when he took in the sight, the ex-ShinRa stepping back away from the other, stumbling out into the opening and away from the books that had been surrounding them both. He knew those eyes anywhere, had seen them held by both Sephiroth and Cloud during their journey so far - eyes that signaled one under the control of the Crisis from the Skies, the alien Jenova. Startled by the sight the ebony-haired gunman put even more distance between himself and the man, the gun that had faltered away from the blonde's chest now returning to its position to stare straight at the other's breast.

“But I have found a way out of all of this… out of having to give up everything to try to struggle with life…” A dark laugh slipped from his chest, Vincent shuddering at the resemblance between that sound and the one that plagued his dreams almost nightly.

“… Jenova.” The word slipped from the pallid man's lips softly, almost as if he were afraid that what he spoke were the truth and that vocalizing his thoughts would only confirm his fears. A broken laugh issuing from the warrior's chest confirmed the statement, much to Vincent's horror, his garnet gemstone eyes darkening.

“Yes. It is glad to see that I do not have to take the time to explain it all to you. It grows so bothersome…” Stunned silence followed the Crisis' statements; Vincent's mind a whirl of possibilities and questions. If worse came to worse he would fight back against the man, his hand tightening on the handle as his clawed arm curled at his side, face a blank mask of marble. He was an ex-Turk; murder was a part of the job description.

Even if the victim happened to be a close friend.

“What do you want with him?” Right. Start with small questions and if I still have my head attached to my shoulders, dare to ask more. Sarcasm dripped from his mind's voice, the raven-haired man keeping his sight - and the aim of the gun - pointed toward the being before him.

“What do I want? It is more of a question of what he wants, demon. He merely wants to be freed from all of your pitiful attempts at `understanding' and `help.'” He chuckled darkly at the comment, supple lips pulled wide into a grin that showed all of his burning malice and hatred for mankind.

“Do not call me that.” Vincent growled darkly at the added term to the statement, his lips pulled tight in obvious frustration and annoyance. The ebony haired man almost found himself tempted to pull the trigger right there and then, a second roar echoing in his mind as the darker half of him agreed whole-heartedly to the idea. Irony, his speaking of demons…

“Oh, so you deny it? You deny that you really are the demon, that Hojo did not create these beings inside of you like you claim? You deny that these beings are not a separate entity, but in reality are a part of you, are truly you?” Cloud stepped closer to the man, his steps the shaky stagger of one under the control of the Crisis from the Skies, his feet falling in an empty beat that went unnoticed by the ex-ShinRa employee.

“Shut up!” Without thinking Vincent drew his thumb back on the hammer of the gun, the soft click of hidden mechanics signaling the weapon's ready to be fired at any time. What does that thing know about me? What does it know about my life!?

“I know all there is to know on your life… How your lustful desires for one woman-”

I loved her! You have no idea what I-

“-led to your own demise at her lover's hand! How you were merely a Turk that was out of place…”

Shut up… I know all of this already, why do you have to tell me again?

“How you were murdered in this very room,” at this he held out his arms, twisting into a small circle to show off the corroded expanse of the chamber, “and in this same room torn to pieces and reassembled again by the scientist Hojo.” He chuckled, his eyes a dark cobalt against his lightly tanned features and so much unlike their true self. “It is very fascinating to read about, as a matter of fact. Care to join me?” He gestured toward the stack of scientific reports that lay scattered about the table at Vincent's back, the pale man squeezing his eyes shut to prevent himself from looking.

“Shut up… You're lying, I loved her, I wanted only to protect her, like I had intended on doing from-”

“Protect her from what, demon? Protect her from the man she loved, from herself?” Vincent had not noticed how close the man was until he felt a cool hand come to rest on his chin, a forceful tug jerking his face down as the puppet's hand pinned his human wrist to the chilly table that he had been backed up against. With a clatter the handgun fell to the stone floor, wide ruby eyes glancing slightly down to watch his only weapon - apart from his other form - skitter along the floor and hit the bookshelves silently. “You had no way of stopping what happened… Trying only resulted in what you are now. A demon.”

“Don't… touch me.” Again that laugh - that damned laugh! - slipped from Cloud's strong chest, his fingers now trailing gently along the alabaster jaw of the taller man.

“Do you want to know what made my cells take this form in your body? Why the virus that I spread had such a different effect on you?” Pressing himself closer to the man the blonde came to lean against Vincent's slender form, his soft lips brushing lightly against the man's ear like the whisper of a moth's wing. “Your hatred. The emotions that you felt your whole life, the cold, hard feelings of a killer, demon, are what made you.” Pulling away from the other he shook his head, dark eyes glittering with a sick amusement at the befuddled look on his `audience's' face. “Or did you forget that the power of Jenova feeds off of emotions?”

He had heard enough, a low hiss making its way from his lithe lips as he shoved the smaller form away from him forcefully. The impact caused the other to stumble back in confusion and surprise, an icy glare from frozen blue eyes shooting Vincent's way as he staggered away from the scientific table at his back and toward the door. His mind screamed at him to get as far away from the mansion's basement as possible, a glance being shot over his shoulder and towards the faltering form for merely a moment before he dashed out of the room, his hand grasping the door behind him and slamming it in place.

Out of breath he pressed his back to the cold, wooden portal, gentle gasps sliding from his chest as he let the entirety of the Crisis from the Skies' words sink slowly into his mind. “You really are the demon- the emotions that you felt your whole life, the cold, hard feelings of a killer… made you what you are.” Swiftly he shook his head in a forceful attempt at riding himself of all such thoughts, his hand working to lock the door behind him in any fashion - a surprise to him when there was really a small lock on the door - and keep the monster within the room.

“Damn… just… damn…” He breathed the words through his teeth slowly, his eyes falling to watch the floor as he let his confused mind toss about the information that he had received. Are the things she claims true? Am I really the cause for these demons? What about… what about Cloud? Is he-

Much to his relief and fear the ex-Turk found his thoughts cut off sharply by a brisk banging on the door at his back, the sound of fists pounding into the hard wood filling the air of the empty corridor in a crash of noise.

“I'm not letting you out.” The phrase was more to himself than the person behind the door, a startled frown leaping onto Vincent's features as the sound stopped almost as if it had resigned to his command. He stood in silence for a moment, his lips pulled tightly closed to prevent himself from responding in any way, a tight knot forming in his chest as he waited in the dead silence.

“Vincent…”

Cloud!?

“Vincent, where am I? What's… going on?” The sound of Cloud's voice, now small and almost hurt sounding, replaced the consistent throbbing on the door, the gentle brush of what seemed to be someone falling to their knees against the doorframe chasing after his words like an echo. “Open this door, please Vincent… Please?”

A startled gasp slid from his pale lips as Vincent pulled himself away from the door, his eyes watching the wooden portal intensely as if he expected it to burst open once more, revealing his party leader, confused as to his strange actions. Again the pleas returned, his name softly being whispered through the door as the gunman stepped away from the area, turning on his heel swiftly and hastily walking away from the room.

“I'm so sorry Cloud, but I can't. Not yet.” He fled from the basement, the gentle cries still filling the room as he left, the voice rising and falling in a holler that went unheard by the fleeing man.

* * *

One-Winged Angel: … Please don't shoot me. Please? I finally finished this chapter. Sorry that it's a little bit shorter than the last one, but it took me a while to even figure out what was going to happen in this thing, let alone finish it. I really hope you like it… I'm almost ready to call it quits with this small amount of reviews I've been getting. Mer. (And yes, Cid's part does have a purpose. Kinda… Whatever, I wanted more Cid, there wasn't enough Cid yet! So meh! I like Cid!)

Cloud: Yeah, so review before I have to deal with an angsting lunatic. >_>;; I really hate that…

Vincent: Ahem, you wouldn't be referring to anyone now would you Cloud?

Cloud: ::innocent look:: Me? Never… ::tacky grin::

Vincent: ::glares:: Please review, if you would. I think we could all use something like that right now.

One-Winged Angel: Love to all readers.