Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Masquerade ❯ Masquerade ( Chapter 1 )

Silly Seasonal fluff. R rated more out of habit than from any real naughtiness. For my dear friends at Yaoimongers.

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Masquerade

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"Sounds like extortion to me." Squall said disapprovingly.

Laguna face palmed. "It's a tradition! They just yell 'trick or treat' as part of the ritual."

"Have your guards handle it. It's not a SeeD matter." Squall got up and went back inside to the buffet, probably to replace the melon I'd eaten off his place.

Laguna and I watched him go, with very different expressions. At least, I hope they were different, as I was lusting over certain, leather-clad ass. I sighed when my view was eclipsed by a poorly placed plant and turned to our host.

True to form, Laguna's expression was more that of an anxious puppy, not sure if a beloved human was leaving more minutes or days.

"He's kidding," I said.

"Not entirely, Seifer." Laguna replied, which was true and a point for his side. Returning to the original topic he added, "It's a harmless way for the children to beg for candy."

I ate part of Squall's cinnamon roll since he wasn't there to defend it. "I thought panhandling was illegal."

Laguna squirmed and said defensively, "Not encouraged, but no, begging is not illegal."

"Can you spare some gil to buy a starving med student a latte?"

"So you can continue to support Squall in the manner to which he's accustomed?"

Fortunately Squall returned then, bearing coffee. "We are not having the money fight again, Laguna." He blinked at his cinnamon snail, which was a few coils smaller than it had been when he left. Hey, it's a service I provide. He's the one who has to fit in those tight leather pants.

"The really fun part is dressing up in costumes," Laguna said, as if the subject had never changed.

Squall set down his cup and gave his father The Look. "I am not dressing up like a fool and parading around in front of the Senate and Staff just for some insane folk holiday."

"Aw, Squall, it's fun! You know fun, right? Sort of like combat, only less messy."

Now I know which side of the family that insanity came from. Good thing we wouldn't be breeding.

"Not a chance." Squall made the little subconscious cutting gesture he makes when he means Subject Closed. Everyone at the Garden knew better than to push after that point.

Laguna never went to a Garden.

"Squall, it's a formal function and as Head of SeeD you need to be there."

"If everyone is in costume, how will anyone know if I'm there or not?"

"It's a security issue. I've formally requested all the A level SeeDs to be present."

The Look became The Glare. "Laguna, you cannot formally request SeeD intervention as a method to make sure everyone comes to your Halloween party!"

The Glare met The Grin. I wisely backed out of range, grabbing the catalogue of costumes to thumb through while the immovable object fought with the irresistible force.

"Point of fact, I already did."

A chirp from his cell phone interrupted Squall's reply. He pulled it out, checked the ID, and sighed. "Yes, Quistis?" He threw his napkin down in defeat and left the table to stand at the balcony, murmuring to Quis.

"Remind her it's a costume party!" Laguna called after him cheerfully.

"You like playing with fire, don't you?" I said, shaking my head.

Laguna winked at me. "What are you coming as?"

"Hyne's ass, I'm not coming to this thing. I don't want to be in the same city as Zell and Selphie and free candy everywhere."

"That's too bad," Laguna said, reaching over a flipping the catalog to a certain page. "Some of the costumes are really nice."

My eyes nearly fell out at the main one on that page. Some strategic bits of cloth, boots, gloves, a tail and adorable little cat ears. Neko for grown ups. My eyes strayed to Squall, who was now standing hip shot, still growling at Quistis. I moved a bit to get more room in my slacks. "Ohh… yessssss."

"Not that he'd ever wear it."

Confidently, I said, "Oh, he'll wear it, all right."

"Care to wager on that?" Laguna said mildly.

"What stakes?"

"If Squall doesn't come to the party in the cat outfit, you have to wear full drag."

"And when he does?"

Laguna grinned. "I'll have the costume made over in leather."

"You are a manipulative, wicked, kinky man, Laguna. I admire that. You're on.".

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Safely back at home I waited until Squall was in a postcoital good humor to bring up the subject of costumes. I lay on my back and ran my fingers through his chocolate hair. "So… since you'll be doing the security, you want me to handle the costumes?"

One stormy gray eye opened and peeked at me through sweat damp bangs. "I am not wearing any dumb costume."

"Squall, it's required."

The eye closed. "Allow me to rephrase. You are not picking out a costume for me."

I nodded. "Selphie will probably want all of you to dress in a theme. Like the dancing raisins."

"Raisins? You mean those turd looking things?"

"You could hide your weapons inside." I winced; bad move on my part, he might actually consider it.

"Why would anyone want to be dried fruit?" He ran his hand over my belly, fortunately distracting me from the dozen or so really tacky puns that sprang to mind. "Still, it can't be worse than the SeeD formal dress." Squall continued talking and petting but now something else was springing up.

I growled and rolled over on him. I'd have to continue my plan later.

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Several days later I was starting to feel the pressure. Squall had not committed to a costume, other than to reject Selphie's suggestion they all go as GF's. Despite heavy pressure from Irvine and Zell to see Quistis dressed as Siren, Squall maintained that the security should not be that easy to pick out of the crowd. I knew the real reason. He was afraid he'd end up the Tonberry King.

I was less than thrilled when a large box arrived at our apartment from a local store suspiciously named Ms. Teak. The receipt, paid in full - whatta guy - was signed L.L. and a smiley face. I took one peek at what was under the tissue paper, spotted enough pale pink tulle to start a ballet school, and slammed the lid back on the box.

"What's that?" Squall called from the kitchen.

Damn, the box was too big to hide anywhere. I settled for, "They sent the wrong costume."

"What did they send?"

"Doesn't matter, I won't be wearing it." I wandered in to get in the way and sample. I love to watch Squall's expression when he fights himself not to just cast Stop and work around me. Not that he hasn't done it a few times when I really pushed him.

"You might be. I think Laguna invited everyone in town and the pickings are getting slim." Squall leveled off the spice in the measuring spoon and added it to the stuff on the stove, which was starting to smell pretty good.

I slid my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder. "You want me to pick up your costume while I'm returning that one?"

"I already have mine."

Of course he did. Squall would never wait until the last minute. I'd have to abandon sneaking and manipulation and go to outright begging and bribery to get him to change his mind and wear the outfit I wanted him in. "So you settled for the raisin?"

I could feel the eye roll even from behind. And speaking of behinds, he was rubbing his little cupcake ass against me in a very promising fashion. "Of course not."

"So what are you wearing?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

That was an obstacle I hadn't planned for. "I found a cool costume that was just made for you."

"I said, I have a costume." The stirring motions Squall was making were rocking his hips back and forth.

I pressed closer and nibbled his neck. "Tell me what it is."

"You'll see it at the party."

"Won't I see it before? When we get ready?"

Squall shook his head, tickling my face with his silky hair. "I have to leave several hours early to coordinate with Palace Security. I left my costume there."

Damn, there went my plan to search the apartment when he was gone.

Squall set the lid on the pot and turned the heat down. He leaned back in my arms and put his hands over mine, guiding them lower.

So I forgot about the whole costume thing for a while.

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I picked up the cat costume when I got my own - a very slick pirate outfit that showed off my roguish good looks. Thus far, for some unfathomable reason, I had utterly failed at persuading Squall to wear it. He proved to be depressingly resistant to whining, pouts, bribery, and threats to withhold sex. Well, ok, I'm the one who couldn't hold out on that last one.

I was desperate. Time to try Plan B. I called the Palace.

"Sweetie", Selphie said, "I already have 2 boys I have to get dressed, in addition to me. Get Zell to help you."

I sighed. I'd hoped to talk Selphie into switching Squall's costume for me. Zell was a hardheaded businessman at heart and would want something in return. I weighed my options. Squall in that slinky cat suit or me in a pink prom dress. What could the Chicken ask for, really?

"You are fucking kidding me," I said about an hour later. "What do you need all those aura stones for?"

Zell shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me what Squall wears to the party."

"Don't you think that's a little steep for one little favor?"

"Lissen," Zell said, "He loves you. He'll forgive you. He can make my life merry torture."

I handed over every aura stone I owned, and a few from Squall's stash. "He'll check it so don't switch them out too early."

Zell counted them, the little shit. "Yeah, yeah, I know, I work the guy, remember?" He looked up, all accusing blue eyes. "You shorted me."

"That wasn't me, it was Hyne's will that you're so short."

"Favor, Seifer, remember? A little ass kissing here would be nice."

I settled for a subject change. "What are you going as?"

"I was thinking about a giant piece of candy."

"They ran out of raisin costumes?"

"Eat me, Seifer." Zell took the box and his bribe. "See ya tonight."

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I got back late from my lab and threw my ass in the shower. Squall was long gone and all I had to do was hope Operation Switcheroo was a success. I thought about Squall in that tight outfit with those cute little ears and a long slinky tail and… spent a bit longer in the shower than I'd originally intended.

When I strolled back into the bedroom, feeling very a peace with the world, I realized someone had been in the apartment. I knew this, because there was a large and disturbingly familiar box in the middle of the bed.

That and every scrap of clothes Squall or I owned were gone.

"Oh, no."

I opened the box. It was a little girl's idea of the perfect pink prom dress. All it needed was some Hynebedamned wings and wand with a star on the end.

"Laguna, you son of a bitch."

In all fairness, it could have been Zell, or Selphie and Irvine, or even Squall himself. So I cursed them, too.

Logically, I could skip the whole thing and lie around naked until Squall got home. Only I couldn't, because I had an early class and Squall and I had planned to spend the night at the Palace to save the drive home. The Palace! I had real clothes stored there. All I had to do was go and change. Once there, I could fake a costume. I'd give somebody 50gil and go as damn raisin.

Thanking Hyne and Squall and my late lab that I had the car and didn't have to try public transport in pink tulle, I pulled on the damn dress. Laguna, sick twist that he is, spared no detail, and there were several garments decorated with pink satin rosebuds that I was fairly sure would never be found on my body. I crammed my feet into the matching pink satin pumps, stuffed the rest of the crap in a shopping bag, and set out with all the grace and charm of spavined chocobo in a hailstorm.

Once safely at the Palace, I was trying to decide if I should change first and then beat people up, or just go ahead and let them bleed on the prom dress.

Then I saw him.

He was across the ball room, checking Hyne knows what, but I'd know that ass anywhere and I knew, 100% for sure in my heart of hearts knew, it was Squall.

And he wasn't wearing a cat suit.

That changed everything. Over and above the fact that I could now murder Zell, or at least get my aura stones back, was the little matter of honor.

Seifer Almasy may cheat to win, but he never welches a bet when he loses.

There was only one thing to do.

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Hindsight, Quistis was probably not my best choice. She's as bad a perfectionist as Squall. Which is how I came to be wearing not only all of the rosebud trimmed dainties but also a flattering blond wig, make up, and pearl earrings. Later it occurred to me to wonder why she had those available.

I put my pink satin clad foot down at the tiara, though.

I made my début and circulated through the crowd, taking the comments and ribbing on my costume like a man, which is to say by muttering threats under my breath.

Selphie, dressed as a sunflower, was easy to spot, mainly because she held the only baby at the party on her hip. Poor little Trabian was in snuggle suit with a hood made to make him look like a little bee. He even had a soft felt stinger on his diapered ass. That meant the tall skeleton with her was Irvine.

I'd already seen Quistis' outfit, a tight fitting slinky black vamp outfit, complete with batwing collar and cape. If Zell didn't take the hint seeing that, Squall and I were going to have to invite him into our ménage. I finally spotted Zell, not dressed as candy but as Carbuncle, doing handstands for some of the children of the Staff.

Laguna was dressed as a raisin. I danced with him once, to prove I was a good sport, and managed not to make even one wrinkle joke. I did give him my opinion of people who hedge their bets, but he just smiled.

It was a great party and I would have had a lot more fun if all my friends weren't working, if I wasn't left to deal with the Official Suck-Ups, and if my costume wasn't so Hynebedamned uncomfortable. I finally had enough and flounced my way out to the patio. I planted my ass on the settee, ripped off that wig and kicked off those horrible shoes.

I sat forward and rested my chin in my hands, my elbows propped on my legs, and wondered if Squall would have been as embarrassed in the cat suit as I was in the prom dress. I guess I shouldn't have tried to force it on him. He's had enough stuff forced down his throat over the years.

Movement made me look up. The slim figure I'd recognized earlier stood before me in the classic harlequin's outfit of satin and silk. He swept off his belled hat and bowed low before offering me a rose. It wasn't one of the artificially perfect ones from the floral arrangements inside, but a partially opened late bloom from the garden. I sniffed it and smiled.

Harlequin held out his hand. His white painted face was as still as a mask, but Squall's beautiful eyes glowed. I took his hand and under the starlight, we danced.

It was a lot more romantic once we sorted out who was leading.