Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ MEOW! Kitti's FFVII Talk Show! ❯ Rufus! ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: kitti hardy 
I interview the blonde haired genius! You know, the general of the strawberry fleet. and watch the commercial!
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.05.2002 | Updated On: 12.05.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 721 | Visits: 279 | Status: Completed
I interview the blonde haired genius! You know, the general of the strawberry fleet. and watch the commercial!
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.05.2002 | Updated On: 12.05.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 721 | Visits: 279 | Status: Completed
Kitti: I, Kitti, have decided to host a tv show thingy cuz everyone has one and I wanted one! So yeah! So I am having guest stars that I do not own. . . Yeah...Grrness. By the way, R&R but no YOU SUCK reviews pwease!Anyhoo, I decided since everyone loved him sooo much in my other stories, Rufus will be my first guest!
Rufus: Hey, folks.
Kitti: First question from me.Do I own you?
Rufus: No.
Kitti: SEE, THAT WAS MY DISCLAIMER IF YOU DON'T READ THE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF EVERY STORY YOU READ!!! Ahem sorry. I had sugar.
Rufus: I notice.
Kitti: This is what I do. I randomly select people from the audience that hasn't died yet and they'll ask questions, you answer them and BLAH! Ok?
Rufus: Err....yes?
Kitti: OK! How bout that weird blond lady with 17 nose rings..?
Blonde lady with 17 nose rings, chewing gum annoying like: Like uh yeah, mister rufus? I'm like supporter of the smart blond groups and I'd uh like you to join. And uh, will you sign like my nose? ::insane giggle::
Rufus: One, Due to the fact that I am the smartest character in FF7 and I am blonde, I don't need to join. And uh, sure why not?
Blonde: ::insane giggle: ALRIGHT! ::runs up and bends over for rufus to sign her nose::
Rufus: Kitti, does she even have a nose?!
Kitti: No.
Rufus: Oh...Can I kill her?
Kitti: Not yet.
Rufus: Dang. Then what can I do?
Kitti: Pull one of those rings out. And laugh evily!
Rufus: OK! (pulls one of the rings out and laughs evily)
Blonde: WAAAAH! (runs off)
Kitti: No more violence now. K, how bout the cute little girl over there?
Cute little girl with doll: Hewwo Mistuh Rufie.
Rufus: Hi.
Girl w/ doll: I wuz wonderin if yew can give my dolly a kissy. Pwease?
*everyone* AWWWWWWWWW
Rufus: Sure.
Girl w/ doll: YAY! ::runs up with an iron made doll, spiked boots and very not happy lookin teeth::
Rufus: O_O
Kitti: Ummm....COMMERCIAL!
*suddenly Cid comes up on the screen*
Cid: Buy my ^**^%$# tea! It's good for your !@#$%^& soul! There's always a time for tea! Look at me! I can water my flowers, volunteer for the shelter, and out curse barret and still drink tea.
Barret: WHAT YOU SAY, YOU @$$^&*&?
Cid: I said I could OUT CURSE you!
Barret: *lunges at cid*
Commercial ends
Kitti: So grat, during that commercial break, Rufus went insane...again...( wonder how many times I can do this without him killing me...hehehe)
Rufus: Strawberries...Cherries...IT'S TOO DAMN HARD TO CHOOSE!
Kitti: See?
Rufus: I'm hungry...
Kitti: Want an orange?
Rufus: AAAAAAAAAAH! THE ENEMY! ::hides under the desk::
Kitti: But you haven't even chosen your army, dear.
Rufus: Oh yeah...THE STRAWBERRIES!
Kitti: Uh huh. That's nice, Rufus. Anyway, Question #3 from the guy in red, looking evily, and has black hair, gun....and has amazingly unresistable abs that no women can resist. ::notices the crowded women around him:: (GEEZ WHO COULD THIS BE?)
Black haired dude: Can I kill Rufus?
Kitti: NO!
Black Haired dude: Can I kill Yuffie?
Kitti: NO!
Black Haired dude: Fine, can you call me Vincent instead of Black haired dude?
Kitti: Done! One last question and then we are out! How bout that cute blonde dude?
Rufus: Wait I am the only good looking blonde here!
Kitti: One begs to differ.
Blonde dude: Do you and your allies surrender to the Cherry fleet?!
Rufus: *gasp* Leiutenant Strife! I should've known!
Cloud: Well, General Shinra, Wasn't it obvious?
Rufus: Actually it was because your hair sticks out more than Vegeta's do especially with that weapon you call a sword. AND YOU STOLE IT TOO!
Cloud: DID NOT!
Rufus: DID TOO!
Cloud: NO!
Rufus: YES!
Kitti: Well, while those two kill each other, I guess I'll try to save the important things of my talk show. ::grabs money and two pieces of candy::
Rufus: *gasp* THOSE ARE STRAWBERRY AND CHERRY FLAVORS!
Cloud: YOU'RE TRYING TO EAT OUR TROOPS!!! INHUMAN!
Kitti: O_O Ummm cya next time when I choose either Rufus, Cid, or Vincent to guest host! Whether I do or not depends if I live! HELP ME! OH SHOOT THERE GOES MY MONE--
*static*
Rufus: Hey, folks.
Kitti: First question from me.Do I own you?
Rufus: No.
Kitti: SEE, THAT WAS MY DISCLAIMER IF YOU DON'T READ THE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF EVERY STORY YOU READ!!! Ahem sorry. I had sugar.
Rufus: I notice.
Kitti: This is what I do. I randomly select people from the audience that hasn't died yet and they'll ask questions, you answer them and BLAH! Ok?
Rufus: Err....yes?
Kitti: OK! How bout that weird blond lady with 17 nose rings..?
Blonde lady with 17 nose rings, chewing gum annoying like: Like uh yeah, mister rufus? I'm like supporter of the smart blond groups and I'd uh like you to join. And uh, will you sign like my nose? ::insane giggle::
Rufus: One, Due to the fact that I am the smartest character in FF7 and I am blonde, I don't need to join. And uh, sure why not?
Blonde: ::insane giggle: ALRIGHT! ::runs up and bends over for rufus to sign her nose::
Rufus: Kitti, does she even have a nose?!
Kitti: No.
Rufus: Oh...Can I kill her?
Kitti: Not yet.
Rufus: Dang. Then what can I do?
Kitti: Pull one of those rings out. And laugh evily!
Rufus: OK! (pulls one of the rings out and laughs evily)
Blonde: WAAAAH! (runs off)
Kitti: No more violence now. K, how bout the cute little girl over there?
Cute little girl with doll: Hewwo Mistuh Rufie.
Rufus: Hi.
Girl w/ doll: I wuz wonderin if yew can give my dolly a kissy. Pwease?
*everyone* AWWWWWWWWW
Rufus: Sure.
Girl w/ doll: YAY! ::runs up with an iron made doll, spiked boots and very not happy lookin teeth::
Rufus: O_O
Kitti: Ummm....COMMERCIAL!
*suddenly Cid comes up on the screen*
Cid: Buy my ^**^%$# tea! It's good for your !@#$%^& soul! There's always a time for tea! Look at me! I can water my flowers, volunteer for the shelter, and out curse barret and still drink tea.
Barret: WHAT YOU SAY, YOU @$$^&*&?
Cid: I said I could OUT CURSE you!
Barret: *lunges at cid*
Commercial ends
Kitti: So grat, during that commercial break, Rufus went insane...again...( wonder how many times I can do this without him killing me...hehehe)
Rufus: Strawberries...Cherries...IT'S TOO DAMN HARD TO CHOOSE!
Kitti: See?
Rufus: I'm hungry...
Kitti: Want an orange?
Rufus: AAAAAAAAAAH! THE ENEMY! ::hides under the desk::
Kitti: But you haven't even chosen your army, dear.
Rufus: Oh yeah...THE STRAWBERRIES!
Kitti: Uh huh. That's nice, Rufus. Anyway, Question #3 from the guy in red, looking evily, and has black hair, gun....and has amazingly unresistable abs that no women can resist. ::notices the crowded women around him:: (GEEZ WHO COULD THIS BE?)
Black haired dude: Can I kill Rufus?
Kitti: NO!
Black Haired dude: Can I kill Yuffie?
Kitti: NO!
Black Haired dude: Fine, can you call me Vincent instead of Black haired dude?
Kitti: Done! One last question and then we are out! How bout that cute blonde dude?
Rufus: Wait I am the only good looking blonde here!
Kitti: One begs to differ.
Blonde dude: Do you and your allies surrender to the Cherry fleet?!
Rufus: *gasp* Leiutenant Strife! I should've known!
Cloud: Well, General Shinra, Wasn't it obvious?
Rufus: Actually it was because your hair sticks out more than Vegeta's do especially with that weapon you call a sword. AND YOU STOLE IT TOO!
Cloud: DID NOT!
Rufus: DID TOO!
Cloud: NO!
Rufus: YES!
Kitti: Well, while those two kill each other, I guess I'll try to save the important things of my talk show. ::grabs money and two pieces of candy::
Rufus: *gasp* THOSE ARE STRAWBERRY AND CHERRY FLAVORS!
Cloud: YOU'RE TRYING TO EAT OUR TROOPS!!! INHUMAN!
Kitti: O_O Ummm cya next time when I choose either Rufus, Cid, or Vincent to guest host! Whether I do or not depends if I live! HELP ME! OH SHOOT THERE GOES MY MONE--
*static*