Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Paint The Town ❯ Gotta Have a Plan ( Chapter 16 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII is the property of Square-Enix. No profit is sought from this work.

Sephiroth locked Zack out of his office all Tuesday.

On Wednesday, Zack showed up early and waited by the door, only to be shoved forcefully aside with hardly a glance, then locked out once again. He tried pleading – not whining, definitely, absolutely not whining – but Sephiroth said nothing. The only response from inside was a sheet of paper with immediate orders to carry out an immediate inspection of the 38th Floor executive bathroom. Sephiroth didn't even open the door to hand it over, just slid it through the gap below until it hit Zack's boot. Dejected and temporarily defeated, Zack left for his assignment.

On Thursday, Zack ignored the hole Julia was trying to drill into him with her dirty looks. He marched right up to the big double doors and pounded for two hours and thirty four minutes. He eventually had to stop when Heidegger sent Rude down to say, very nicely, “If you don't stop making all that noise, I have been given permission to summarily defenestrate you.”

Zack wasn't sure what that meant but it didn't sound pleasant. He settled for setting an ambush instead. At a quarter to twelve, when the muscles in his leg were just beginning to go numb, Reno passed by and asked him in all honesty what he was doing squatting behind a potted plant.

“I'm not drunk today, Fair. You can use the bathroom without fear. Even if I do come in while you're doing your business, I'll be holding my wang myself.”

“Uh huh.” Zack pushed a few leaves out of the way, not even listening. It was almost lunch time. The man had to come out.

“But seriously, if you really want to continue this 'urban survival' thing or whatever it is you're doing here, don't people go IN the plant pot when they get desperate?”

“Yeah, uh huh, I mean, I dunno.” Zack didn't even blink. That door was due to open. T minus ten...

“I mean, not like I really give a crap, heh, crap,” Reno swung his EMR across one shoulder, “but the way you're doing it's going to be hell for the cleaners. And that's not even thinking about the smell.”

Zack did blink then. “What?” He turned and looked up at Reno. “What do you think I'm doing here?”

Reno looked down at the boy like he was some kind of little puppy. Cute, amusing, but not too bright. “What exactly have I been talking about this whole time, SOLDIER? I asked you if you were taking a dump there and you said, 'yeah, uh huh'. I was just wondering why.”

Zack spluttered. “I said that?”

“If my ears did not deceive me, and they don't usually.” Reno waggled his eyebrows at the SOLDIER.

Zack hunched down and scrunched up his face. “Well, I guess I wasn't listening.”

Reno made a mock pout. “Oh, I'm hurt, Fair.”

“Sure, you are.” Zack rolled his eyes. “Look, if you don't mind, I'm a little occupied at the moment.” He turned back to the door just in time to see it swing to a slow close, the latch clicking, not catching, in the lock. “Oh, ffffuddlebugs!” Behind the desk outside, Julia smirked and filed her nails with increased vigor.

Reno snickered. “That's a new one.”

Zack sprang to his feet. “Do you mind? I just spent the whole morning waiting for him to come out and then you come in with your big mouth and wreck the whole thing!”

“Aw, you two have a fight?”

Zack leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. There hadn't been an outright fight, had there? Zack went over everything he could recall about the last few days. There was nothing he had done that he could directly say was causing the problem. He'd just been locked out without warning, right after his meeting with the President. No fight.

“No fight,” he said.

“Oh,” Reno nodded as if he understood. “Just General Moodiness, eh? Don't sweat it. He was having spells like this long before you showed up.”

Zack sighed. “I have to get in there.” He had his assignment from on high, after all. He couldn't very well keep an eye on the General through an oak door.

He straightened. To hell with the assignment. The General did need someone to look out for him, and not for any stupid mission. He needed someone to sneak him donuts, to rant to about Julia, hell, to keep him from experimenting with Titan-knew-what in there. Sephiroth did have a couple of very pointy-looking letter openers, if Zack recalled correctly. “I have to talk to him.”

“Yeah, talking helps,” Reno said lamely, “or so I've heard, anyway. But you got to get in there first. You got a plan?”

Zack tapped on foot, thinking things over. “Stalking doesn't seem to be working out too well.”

“Yeah, plus it's the pits getting brought up on all those nasty legal charges.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Got anything else up your sleeve?” Reno tapped his magrod against his calf. Zack frowned. Reno swiveled the rod up. “Well, since you're going the shady route, there's always bribery. Or breaking and entering if you get desperate. Oh, I know, how about kidnapping? He'd have to listen to you if you chain him to a chair and shine a bright light in his face.”

Zack shot Reno a wild look and edged away. Reno, long used to the reactions that came with his turf, shrugged and started to walk away. “Just think about, 'kay? Since it means that much to you.”

Zack nodded, only half-listening as he eyed the door. So Sephiroth had sneaked out for lunch and who knew, maybe a quart of cyanide for his coffee. General Moodiness. Zack swallowed at the very real possibility that Sephiroth was out doing something awful and/or self-destructive in this latest funk of his. He fidgeted in the hallway, unable to bear the thought.

Reno's words echoed faintly in his head. Turks did tend to be a bit more blasé about things other people found reprehensible, but there could be merit in an idea... And, Zack had no trouble admitting, it did mean that much to him.

“Okay, then, General,” he muttered, “Enjoy your lunch, but I should warn you, dessert comes with an extra helping of Zack!”


------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------
Time: 3 hrs 12 mins

Music: Vast – Sunday I'll be Gone

Notes: Cripes, so out of practice with this. Why, why, why did I let it sit so long? I like doing it. Anyhow, here it is and I promise I'm hard at work on PoS too. I know some people heartily object to the comic-relief Reno characterization that has surfaced with a vengeance since AC, but I always did see Reno as having that playful side. Exaggerated for AC, perhaps, since somebody had to lighten up the mood and it happened in such a short space of time anyway, but I hope to be showing his serious side as well. At least as much as I show anyone's in this. ;P