Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Paint The Town ❯ The Cost of Friendship ( Chapter 17 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII is the property of Square-Enix. No profit is sought from this work.

Present at ChocoMama's Little Choco Gift Shack - 15 gil

Bag of gummi Chocobos – 2 gil

Big box of farm animal shaped chocolates – 40 gil

Tin of chocolate covered cookies - 18 gil

Gift wrapping – 8 gil

“Come on, Seph, open the door!” Zack was practically wailing outside. “I brought you a present!”

“Bribery won't work, Zack,” Sephiroth growled at his office door.

“You don't want it?” Zack called plaintively. “Okay... I guess if you don't want it, I'll have to eat them all myself.”

Sephiroth's ears perked up then. It was food? And knowing that Zack, for all his tomfoolery, was not a true idiot, maybe it was something sweet. Fair knew enough to go after weak points.

“Such a shame,” Zack's voice came through the door. There was crinkle as of paper unwrapping, cardboard shifting. “And they're such cute chocolates, too. Well can't let them go to waste!”

Chocolate? Sephiroth spun on one heel and marched back to the door.

“Look at this one,” Zack said, “Cute little piggy! Oink, oink, oink!”

Sephiroth spun on his heel again, marching away from the door.

“Oh, down he goes!” Zack was talking with his mouth full now. “Go hang out with this morning's bacon!”

Sephiroth growled. His stomach did too. Even so, he could hear the faint rustle of plastic as Zack went through the chocolate. “Ooh, a moo cow! Yay! Oh, that was good!” Sephiroth's face twisted into a snarl. One hand hovered over the door handle. Over the sounds of Zack salivating his way through an almondy goat, two cherry-filled chicks and a dark chocolate cock, Sephiroth could hear Julia fussing in the background.

“Honestly, Mr. Fair, I don't know where you think you're going to get with this. The General doesn't go for candy like some hyperactive six-year-old.”

Damn straight. Sephiroth turned his back on the mess, kicked the door a final time and went back to his desk. He had papers to sign.

Zack pressed his ear to the door. Yep, the General was back in his seat now. The man was likely to break his new desk if he kept stamping forms so hard. Zack sat back on his heels and eyed the box of mostly uneaten chocolates in front of him. He had figured it wouldn't be so easy. Sephiroth wouldn't give in to bribery just like that, or taunting either. Not with Julia out there to see it all go down. Zack popped a white chocolate rabbit into his mouth and did his best to ignore the woman's yammerings.

“This is entirely out of hand,” she was saying, with a creak of skin tight leather. “You can't just walk up here and try to wreck havoc on his health with that... that filth!”

Zack turned. “Chocolate is not filth,” he said. His voice was cold but the effect was a bit spoiled by a mouthful of white chocolate and raspberry cream.

“It might as well be as far as the General is concerned. He has to maintain perfect health and that starts with good nutrition.” Julia waggled a pen at him, leaning over on her black patent leather stiletto boots. Zack wondered how she didn't just topple off the things. She seemed to feel the same as she soon straightened up and began to tap an impatient toe.

She really did look imposing like that, Zack had to admit. Large amounts of black leather just had that effect. Of course, it really would have been better if the leather in question fit properly. Julia's pants, while clearly expensive, had been cut for someone with a little more meat in key areas.

He held the tray of chocolates aloft. “Want one? You look like you could use it.” Julia peered down at the tray, then spun on her heel with a sniff of disgust and tottered away. Zack shrugged. “Fine, more for me. And the General.”

“He doesn't want any!” Julia said.

Zack nodded half-heartedly and shut the box. He tucked it back into the bag he had brought with him and rose from the floor, dusting off his knees. Maybe Julia was right. Maybe Sephiroth did not want chocolate right this very minute. But he'd want it eventually, Zack was sure of that. For now, there was nothing to do but make a tactical retreat.

He moseyed down the hallway, making sure to have the appropriate air of dejection around him. Wouldn't do to tip Julia off. Or the guards, for that matter. Sephiroth had to be enjoying the silence by now and just maybe, he was lulled into a false sense of security.

But Zack was a SOLDIER, dammit. He had his mission, both official and personal. Once he rounded the corner, he yanked out his cell phone and got to work.

One ring, two rings, three, then the pickup. “Yeah, Reno, I'll be needing you to make that call. I know. Look... yeah, yeah, I know, I owe you. Thanks anyway.”

Zack snapped his phone shut and waited, fingers going white on the handles of the bag. Two minutes later he felt the first twitch of a cell phone getting ready to shake. He had it open before the first bip sounded. “Yeah? Good, I'm on my way.” Zack snapped the phone shut again and hit the stairs to get to the floor above.

Sneak, creep, listen... peek around the corner, check for signs of life. Left hallway clear. Guard dozing. Target area in sight, door open. Zack rushed forward with the speed only SOLDIERs possessed and firmly shut and locked the door behind him. He had bought himself perhaps a good hour or two with his distraction but even so, he wasn't about to waste his time.

He whipped his screwdrivers out and went to work. With a little jostle and shake, he got a window removed. The force of the wind immediately began blowing papers and greasy fast food wrappers around the room. Zack ignored them. The ropes went around the support beam. The harness went on him. The bag full of happy little presents went on his back.

He only needed to go down one floor and he figured it wouldn't take long, but as the cold began to sink in and the reality of just how high up he was and just how unorthodox a semi-military exercise this was hit him, he reconsidered. Maybe he hadn't really thought this out.

His phone rang. “It's me. He's through six already. Whatever you're planning, do it quick.”

“Got it!” Zack secured his phone in a zippered pocket and threw himself off the side of the building.

Box of Twelve from Lardy Lad's Donut Shack- 15 gil

Rappelling gear from the army supply- free (on loan)

Bribe for Turk assistance in creating a diversion- 48 gil subscription to Jugs Monthly and half your immortal soul.

Helping your General whether he wants help or not and trashing Palmer's office while you're at it – Priceless.


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Time: 4 hrs 32 mins
Music: Hampton the Hampster – Deck the Halls
Notes: Yes, this is a very silly story.